Monday, February 14, 2011

"Open, Stretched and Baited" : A Valentine's Day Tale

Sabrina searched frantically through her chest of drawers, searching for what she had hidden so long ago.

And she found it.

An open pack of unfiltered Kools cigarettes.

She shook out a cigarette, casually walked downstairs to the kitchen and lit it on one of the eyes of the stove.

She took a puff, inhaled hard.

Coughed even harder.

She heard him clear his throat. She could see him from the kitchen, sitting at the dining room table bare-chested, in a pair of black lounge pants, tapping his bare feet to a song playing low on the living room stereo.

He was sitting at the dining room table eating a bowl of cereal. He smiled at her and quickly looked away, all of a sudden interested in reading the back of the cereal box.

“Go head on and laugh, Rodney,” she said. “You know you want to.”

“I wanna laugh,” he said. “But I don’t think it’s a good thing to laugh at a woman who’s about to cough up a lung.”

She took a long drag, her eyes still trained on him. She held the smoke a moment, then exhaled. “How’s that? That better?”

He smiled again, continued eating his cereal.

She walked over to the messy table and flopped down in a chair. She puffed lightly on the cigarette and shook the ashes on a napkin.

“You’re a health nut, Sabrina,” he said. He ate another spoonful of his cornflakes. “ And you’re smoking. More surprising than funny.”

"I haven't smoked in fifteen years."

"So what's the reason for the sudden smoking habit?" he asked.

“After last night, I need a cigarette,” she said.

He was about to eat another spoonful of the cereal, but he stopped. “Really?”

“Yes. You make a woman wake up in need of a good smoke. You got me laying in bed, opening my eyes, wanting to take pen to paper and write some poetry.”

He stared at her, eyebrows raised. He dug his spoon in his cereal.

She leaned forward. Stared into his eyes.

“You got my eyes stretched
Sitting here with baited breath
Nose open, open real wide
Wide as the Sahara in Africa
But not dry like that desert
Because you are my oasis
In the middle of that desert
You soothe me
You move me
You are that gentle breeze that blows my way
On such a hot dry day.”


Rodney frowned. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Sabrina took a long drag, held the smoke deep in her lungs, then blew a smoke through her nose. “Do I look like I’m kidding."

Rodney gave no response. He ate another spoonful of his cereal.

She gathered her housecoat around her, adjusted the strap as much as she could with one hand.

“You got my eyes stretched
Sitting here with baited breath
You got me open wide
Wide and deep like the Grand Canyon
Make a bitch wanna run fast towards the edge and jump
Jump high
Cause I know I can make it to the other side.
I got it like that
All ‘cause of you
'Cause you pulled up a chair
Sat it next to my heart
Cupped your hand to your ear
And listened close for each and ever beat.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump.”

Rodney laughed hard, spewing milk and cereal everywhere. “Are you serious?”

Sabrina shook ashes off the cigarette and took another long draw. She blew perfect smoke rings into the air.

Rodney grabbed a napkin and wiped the milk from his face. “Girl, nothing went down last night. We stayed up and talked all night."

“The hell you say,” she shouted. She pointed the bent cigarette at him. “Last night was, last night was –“

“You acting like we had hot butt nekked sex last night, girl. We stayed up and talked. Watched a movie. Cleaned up. Burnt up the buckwheat blueberry pancakes we were trying to make from scratch. Washed and folded your clothes. Danced to that old scratched up Parliament Funkadelic album you like. And now you sitting here smoking a cigarette like it's a joint, and reciting poetry like you the headliner at Open Mic night at the club. Hilarious!”

Sabrina hit the table hard with her fist, so hard that Rodney’s half eaten bowl of cereal jumped and clanked.

“I’m vunerable right now, and you’re sitting up here laughing at me. Last night was special!”

Rodney laughed. “The first night I spent with you was indeed special. Not what I had in mind, so yeah, you can call it special.”

“I don’t believe you,” she said. She waved cigarette smoke from in front of her face. “You’re just, you're just. . . oooooh.”

“And if you keep smoking that cigarette, you gonna have some baited breath, alright” he said with a chuckle. "You're going to be talking like Darth Vader, talking 'bout 'Bring the Wookie to meee!"

Sabrina smashed the cigarette nub into the napkin and balled it up.

“You better throw that napkin in some water or something, make sure that cigarette's out. You don’t want to burn your house down.”

Sabrina got up from the table, gathered her housecoat around her, and walked towards the kitchen.

“Hey girl,” Rodney called out.

“What?” she responded a bit too sharply.

“My nose is stretched, too. My eyes are open wide, and my breath is all baited up, just like yours. Okay? I'm laid out in the Sahara and chilling at the Grand Canyon, too, alright?”

He winked, shoveled another spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

She smiled and sashayed out the room.

Oh what a lovely day it was going to be.

1 hour timed exercise.1000 word limit. (actual word count: 944 words) 15 minutes of editing. Word prompt "Eyes stretched", a phrase used much by former blogger and twitter sista SingleMa. (Man, I don't even know what that phrase means. I'm just fascinated by it, a d wanted to use it in a story).

Happy Valentines Day, Ya'll. Have a great day!

Love,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Oldgirl, LadyLee

13 said a lil' sumthin!:

Serenity3-0 said...

This is totally off topic, but smokers are deal breakers for me... And I thought they'd done something physical lol.

This One Woman said...

These characters are part of a bigger story right? RIGHT?
*twitches like a crackhead, straightens clothes and walks away*

I need more...

LadyLee said...

@Serenity... OH BE QUIET, CHICKEN.

They didn't do anything physical. They did something emotional.

Humph. Happy Valentine Day, Mama.

@This1Woman... No bigger story, honey. Only one night spent, and a moment in time. Happy Valentine's Day, Gal!

MzInspiredMind81 said...

What she experienced was "mind sex". When you have such a good time w/ someone, when someone takes the time to listen and not just hear you when you talk(there IS a difference)it can feel like you had back breaking, earth shaking sex.

Happy Valentines Day Lee!

LadyLee said...

@MzinspiredMind...

O_o

Well, alrighty then! You broke it down, didn't ya, Oldgirl!

LOL. Whelp! I suppose you telling the truth! Really though!

Monique said...

*golf clap*

Cashana said...

Loves it. Back to lurkdom.

Shai said...

I never smoked and don't like so it was kinda turn off. This line, "You got me laying in bed, opening my eyes, wanting to take pen to paper and write some poetry.” got me because I have been there WAY too many times.

LadyLee said...

*lee hiding cigarettes behind back*

LOL!!

Shai and Serenity are the spokeswomen for Just say no to Cigarettes!

Just a story prop, ya'll... Although I may smoke a flavored cigar on vacation, lol...

Shai, that's that GREAT feeling: Waking up, someone having you wanting to write... I think that's the part I can relate to most, too.

@Cashana and Monique... Glad ya'll liked.

Remnants of U said...

*claps like a happy 2 year old*

Oh, thanks for the Valentines day gift! Now I can say I got a present today. You amaze me with those writing prompts. It takes me that long just to choose the right words for an e-mail sometimes. LOL!

Adrienne said...

Whewwwwwwwwwwwwwww loves it!!!!

Thoughtsofsoutherngal said...

Love it!

Single Ma said...

My eyes are stretched at how you took that simple phrase and applied it to a perfect scene so effortlessly. Although he was laughing at her in the beginning, confirming that his feelings were mutual is all that she needed to hear. A mind-gasm between a man and a woman is the most sensual, romantic feeling in the world.

Bravo, Doc...bravo!