"It's not what people do to you that makes you angry, it's what's already on the inside of you that makes you angry."
That had me a looking a little...
And after some thought, I could understand that statement a little better. I could view it through the lens of a quote I have posted a few times on my blog:
"Anger is an expression of fear."
That too at the time didn't make much sense to me. But after much thought, I must say that it has helped me immensely. When I am angry, I don't focus too much on who or what has made me angry. I always ask myself question "What am I afraid of?"
I spend much time with that question. I make sure to locate my fear, and try to face it. Fear is the root of my anger. If I kill the root, I kill the anger.
And then one of my favorite chickens Serenity_23, sent me one of her morning devotionals from Rick Warren, from a devotional entitled "Do You Need a Heart Transplant". There was a good quote on anger included, that gave MUCH insight into the first quote above.
"If you build your identity on anything that can be taken away from you, you're going to become insecure, and insecurity is at the root of your anger. Until you start feeling secure about yourself, people are going to be able to push your buttons. When you know who you are and whose you are, people can't push your buttons. They can't get to you. Anger and insecurity go together. The more insecure you feel, the angrier you feel. The Bible says in Proverbs 29:25 (MSG), "The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that."
When you are angry, your mouth just reveals what's inside your heart. A harsh tongue reveals an angry heart. A negative tongue reveals a fearful heart. A boasting tongue reveals an insecure heart. An overactive tongue reveals a guilty heart. A judgmental tongue reveals a guilty tongue. A critical tongue reveals a bitter heart. A filthy tongue reveals an impure heart."
My oh my. That is one heckuva quote. You mean to tell me that I can listen to the what people say- I can listen to what I say- and tell what's going on in a person's heart?
Yes I can. There is a bible verse that addresses that, Matthew 12:34... "for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks."
That long quote does give some insight into anger. And it points straight back at that first quote of this post.
So the root of anger is internal.
Yes it is. I can vouch for that. This is why I do much internal work, because Lord knows I have my issues. Sigh.
I almost blew that first quote off. I am glad I didn't. I have had anger management problems in the past, and I still work on that. This just gives me more insight into what's going on.