And it's PAYDAY!! And I had a BONUS on my paycheck.
Man, when I saw that on my statement, I should've just shut my computer down and gone on home, because the blinds of my mind were half shut after that.
I spend a few moments with my eyes closed, imagining myself balling until I fall! Then I come back to reality. Bills need to paid. But it's fun to ball in my mind!
But alas, I had some training today, and my midyear workplace review. I wasn't all that interested in either one, and just hoping the midyear review was fine. And all went well. Workplace review was great!
I really should have gone on home then, because the rest of the day has been a blur. I didn't have anything to do, so there was some good convo going on.
I brought in some cookies today. As usual, they disappeared fast. This causes an issue sometimes. People get antsy over FREE stuff. Not my fault you didn't get any. NOPE. There will be more cookies.
However, we have interesting activities in the new cubicle area. One of my coworkers, LadyCee, has this knack for hospitality. I like to support these ventures. Anything to build morale.
So this month was Christmas in July, and the cabinet areas were decorated. Here are a few pictures.
There was even a cookie contest!
Lady Cee made snickerdoodles!
I made oatmeal cranberry walnut cookies. And Lady M made rosemary lemon cookies.
There were a gazillion judges, each standing around tasting and pontificating like they were some real judges off the Food Network. It don't take all that. The contest took a good hour or so.
I won. Yay!
I won a christmas bell. And I went home and preceded to unnerve Sister Callie and Mitch. Poor cats. They were looking at me like "What the world?"
It was a good time. And it built morale.
And that's a good thing.
That's it for me. A short post which I meant to post this morning. But it's up now.
Sweepstakes is still on and popping. We have 15 more days! Two $100 gift cards up for grab so far, and we are fast on our way to 3! I am hoping there will be at least 4.
I've been doing 10 Tuesday Thoughts and 10 Thursday Thoughts for awhile.
How about ONE Thursday Thought... easy enough.
I was laying across the bed on Tuesday afternoon watching the news. I was trying to get myself together because I was a little throwed off because of my work schedule that day. I usually work from 10 to 7, but that day, I'd work from 7:30 to 4. I had some training in the lab, and out of courtesy, I like to keep the schedule of whoever is training me. So when I do that, I am a little lost when I get home.I was home some 3 hours early, and I was sleepy. I figured if I could lay down for half an hour, I could think about what I wanted to do for the evening.
Someone was outside revving a car. I wouldn't normally pay much attention to such noise, but it was so loud
that it shook my whole house. It was annoying, especially when that someone is leaning on the gas every five minutes. I got up and looked out the window. A couple of brothers were working on an old orange truck. They were revving it up to test their workmanship, I suppose. It was annoying.
I thought about what my best friend LadyTee does whenever there's an ruckus outside her house.
"I call the police," she always says. "I don't dial 911, but I dial the police station directly. I keep that number written down."
"You can do that?" I asked.
"Yes. Call them directly. And I act like I'm an old white woman. I always say 'These nigras, I mean, these black people is out here fighting, and I can't find my medicine.' Then I just hang up the phone."
Every time she says this, it sends me into a fit of giggles.
LadyTee nods, her face serious. "That's what I do, girl. The police come screeching around the corner real fast. Bet the guys won't be out there fighting no more. Bet they won't be out there bouncing that basketball at two in the morning no more either."
LadyTee does not like noise. At all.
I lay across my bed, listening to the hard rev of the truck engine. My house shakes like crazy. I thought about calling the police and following LadyTee's intstructions.
I realized I couldn't do that.
I imagined my calling the police, and the police screeching in their cars around the corner with sirens blaring.
And instead of yelling at the men to knock off the noise, they'd jump out their cars and shoot them dead. No questions asked.
And then it would be all over the news: two unarmed black men working on a truck shot dead by police officers. My 911 call would be played over and over in a continuous loop. The loved ones would be on the news, crying over the loss of those they loved. The news reporters would go look up these men jail or prison records and lay that out for all to judge and see. The opposition would be standing up there talking about "Well if they hadn't been out there revving up that truck, none of this would have ever happened!"
And there I would be, laying across the bed much as I had been on that particular day of my 911 call, watching the news and feeling guilty because my being annoyed by something as simple as car engine noise turned into something unnecessary and tragic.
There use to be a time that the police would just come around and quiet things down. Now you have to think twice, for something as little as a missing plate or a failure to signal can be lead to your death.
Now... the news has me all shook. Subconciously.
There are thousands of traffic stops daily all over this country, with the overwhelming vast majority of them being uneventful. After all, who reports on the uneventful? The uneventful is normal. No news there, keep it moving. I've gotten tickets and everything was professional. I've gotten tickets from rowdy or disgruntled cops, and I've just channeled my inner slave, and go into slave mode. No protest because this dude is about to snap for real.
And the cops in my zone are nice enough. We have lots of women cops, and they have always been helpful. I guess it helps that half the zone was fired and jailed a couple of decades ago for some shadiness in the community. They are on their best behavior. They've even been at neighborhood meetings giving updates from time to time.
While laying across the bed, I closed my eyes so tight that it hurt. We're living in a different time now. Unless I'm in dire need or my life is being threatened, I'm not calling the police. I can stand a little noise. Patience will have to prevail this day.
The guys were finished with the truck before nightfall. I imagined them being happy about it. "Thanks for your help, bruh," one says to another, "because you know I wasn't bout to put this truck in the shop! My cousin said I could have it if I could get it fixed. I knew you could get it just right.'"
All ended well. As it should. They had a fixed truck. I had my peaceful neighborhood back.
Don't you just LOVE looking at old Soul Train clips? If you were anything like me, you couldn't wait for it to come on. That's where you saw all the latest dances. And we'd stand in front of the TV and dance. We didn't care if there was lipsyncing. Who cared? Those were the good ol' days.
#21 "In the Mood"
One of the west coast rappers sampled this song. I looked up the sample and it was "In the Mood". I have loved it for the past 20 years. Even more than the rap!
#20 "I Want You" Marvin Gaye
This is my favorite Marvin Gaye song. If you want to read a good book, read his second's wife biography After the Dance. It came out earlier this year. I may post about it. But I listen to this song so much differently after reading that book.
I just remember this song from when I was little. I always thought "I'm not supposed to be listening to this song."
I've spent a few months trying to come up with my top 20-25 favorite songs.
It's a little harder than I'd expected it to be. And it's been fun going around the lab asking people about their favorite songs.
You'd be surprised at the amount of people who draw a complete blank. Some of the responses have been wonderful, because people will tell the story behind why it's a favorite song. And I'm always amazed that our favorites are attached to a specific time, feeling, or event in life.
So I am interested in some of your favorites also. It gives me a peak into the heart of a person.
My favorite songs are over 20 years old, for the most part. Some are tied to when I was young and didn't have a care in the world. There are songs that were "our songs", i.e., songs of when we were in love. You could probably paint a picture of my life if you knew my favorite songs.
I said something in another post that I'd read about how you should make a CD of your favorite music and post it. Why? Because it affects you on a cellular level. Endorphins are released, and these compounds are calming and even act as pain levels. (I love reading about scientific like this. It's the nerd in me!)
I think I came up with about 25 songs. I wanted to post them ALL. In several posts over the next couple of weeks, of course. And I will post them with the personal story, if applicable.
#25 "Love Makes No Sense" by Alexander O'Neal
This song reminds me of grad school. I started grad school some 24 years ago (has it been that long?). I always had a cassette tape on in the lab while I was working. And Alexander O'Neal was one of my favorites. I needed something while working 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. And this was good stuff!
#24 "Knee Deep" by Parliament Funkadelic
This is a good song. It came out when I was in elementary school. I loved Parliament, but you know how some of those songs were way long? This is one of them. This is the 15 minute long version. So when it comes on, I'm all hype. But after 7 minutes or so, I'm like.... Wow, will this song ever end??
#23 "Lady of My Life" by Michael Jackson
The Thriller album came out when I was 13 years old, I believe. We loved all the popular songs... "Billie Jean", "Beat It", "Wanna be Starting Something". We would sing these songs at the lunch table and in PE. But there was one girl that would break out singing "Lady of My Life". And we would look at her like she was crazy. She continued singing it, even in the midst of us hollering "Shut up!!"
As I got older, the song grew on me. Such a relaxing song.
When I saw this picture, I thought of one thing: tenacity.
Tenacity is that "doggonnedness". It's the heart to get things done by any means necessary, even when it gets hard.
It is something that I wish I had more of. I look at myself and my accomplishments, and I have accomplished many things which take much tenacity, but in my heart of hearts, there's so much more I want to do. I spend so much time thinking of my dreams and purposes. I want to harness the tenacity it took to obtain my beloved degrees and put it all towards my imagination and all that I dream to do. All the obstacles in the way be damn. As the caption to the picture says.. "Don't let anything hold you back."
It's interesting that the older I get, the more I think of such things.
I'm in a little bit of a funk today. I feel better. The Cowgirl Cre had to come talk to me. She has known me for the last 20 or so years. She knows my good, bad, and completely ratchet side. I have to take her advice on a few things. It's nothing work related, but family related. No, me and my sister are okay. I'm just not family oriented and some things went down that I didn't necessarily agree with that had me giving the hard side-eye. I choose not to mention it here. But Cowgirl Cre had good advice as always. I need to get my mental right. And that will be done. Thanks Cowgirl Cre for knowing me and talking.
This has been a semi-productive day. I am pretty much done with my report. Then I wrote a more casual report to myself. So I will talk to my boss and see where I go from here. Glory!
Sad news. Bobbi Kristina passed yesterday. Here's a picture in happier times.
What's sad is that Cissy Houston has had to bury a daughter and granddaughter. Not only that, but it's all under suspicious/tragic conditions. There is speculation that this may be a murder investigation, so more info is coming out. As a grandmother having to live through all of that has to be horrific.
For myself, and my thoughts about it all, I have some issues in the back of my mind. I always imagined that fame and money was equal the good life. Life is supposed to be good. Carefree. Good life.
Yet this isn't always the case. It proves that trouble and tragedy spans across economic levels. I guess I just always close my eyes and imagine if I had all this money, etc., that life would be good. It's not the case. Life can take various twists and turns in the midst of good days. And bad days seem to get all the focus.
My hope is that they can bury her and get through all the mess. It is terrible to go through things, but to go through it in the public eye... sigh. We are spectators on something that should be very private. Sad.
Song of the Week. I want to play some Whitney Houston. I love this video: "Heartbreak Hotel"
How gorgeous is that video?
Thoughts and prayers with the Houston Family.
That's it for me. I am out of here. The Bloggaversary Sweepstakes is still on and popping until August 15th. Run it like you run a marathon. Lots of posts today. I'm reading some old journal entries from last month and I'm trying to cull the epiphanies into something useful. I may not get to that until next week. But there are lots of posts planned for the week. I hope you enjoy them.
How about a "Five Thoughts on Friday"? Change it up a bit.
Still random, though. Might as well be a Friday Freestyles.
1.So there was another massacre. This time it was at a theater in Louisiana. Sigh. This don't make a lick of sense. One moment life is normal, then it can go tragic at any moment. This always reminds me that tomorrow is never promised. There are days when I come home from work where I just make up a song, just sing a song of praise for making it home. Why? Because there are so many people that left for work that day and didn't make it home.
Whenever I hear a breaking news report such as this, it takes me a moment just to realize that it's for real. I don't remember this type of thing happening when I was young, say, in the 70s and 80s. I am sure it did. But I heard something interesting this morning: What's truly dangerous is when reports of the massacres become normal. And our responses become normal. That's dangerous. Why? Because it means we are more desensitized than ever.
2. I am pretty much finished with the report I've been working on for the past 2 weeks. I thought I was going to have to disappear back into the lab and generate more data, but a spirited convo with another specialist lets me know I am done. I've been wanting to talk to him for a minute, but I have to catch him when I can take the ego issues. He was surprisingly helpful, as he has always been. It's just that us with these PhD ego issues gets a bit much. I don't have much of an ego issue, but I tend to get annoyed easily. That is MY problem, and trust me, I'm working on it.
3. Mitchell Lamar had a cloudy eye this week. I thought I was imagining things, but my sister said something was wrong with his eye. Ugh. I snatched him up and stared deep into his funky eyes and hollered "Dude you have one time to cost me a couple of grand in medical costs. Don't expend that this early." But it looks like his eye has cleared up. He's not all leaky and pawing at his eye. He's been running around having a good time, probably wondering why we're looking at him sideways. I looked at him this morning, and he looks clear. I think he and Sister Callie were fighting a bit too hard and she scratched him in the eye or something. So we will see how that goes.
4. So... I pulled up my Spotify this morning, and I noticed that Jill Scott has a new CD out! *cartwheels around the cubicle area*. I wish she could put out something out on the level of her first CID. That CD was perfection. It made me cry! I remember calling up The Cowgirl Cre and telling her "You MUST go get this CD! Now!" She did and we both loved it. We even went to one of her concerts together. I'm gonna listen to this CD today while I do instrument maintenance. Hopefully it's some good. If not, I'll just go back and listen to the first CD!
5. Happy Birthday, Shai! You're one of my favorite long time readers :) I hope you enjoy your day!
That's it for this Friday!
Five quick thoughts!
I'm looking forward to a quiet weekend. I hope to be laid out like the good Sista Callie Jo.
Not all out on the floor like that, though. That's gonna me on the sofa....
Sho' nuff... on purpose.
Sweepstakes still in full affect. Comment for a chance to win one of a ?# of $100 gift cards?
Wonder how many will be given away? I think I'm up to 17 posts for the month of July thusfar. So at least 2 gift cards.
That number is sure to be higher by August 15, right?
I remember the first time you told me you loved me.
I remember the gentle breeze flowing through my hair on the first day of spring.
I remember the taste of lemonade that needed more sugar.
I remember the burn from the heat of a pepper that was just a little too hot for me.
I remember the fight we had, and how I thought it would all blow over.
I remember the way I felt when I realized we would never speak again.
I remember the heat of the vinyl seat in a car that had been parked in the direct sunlight at the height of summer.
I remember the joy I felt when waking up on Christmas day to more gifts that I could count.
I remember the confusion I felt after a receiving a diagnosis that was considered fatal in times past.
I remember the elation I felt when I found out that such a diagnosis was not considered terminal.
I remember the reading a story so good that it grabbed my emotions tight and made me cry.
I remember leaving a city I didn't like only to return to a city I called home.
I remember the apricot-softness of a newborn's skin.
I remember the school bell ringing, signalling that was time to go home.
From Government Creative writing group, July 17, 2014. Writing prompt: Wrtite a poem with every line beginning with the words "I remember..." (10 minutes)
That poem is from an exercise given in my government writing group, which has been meeting once a month for the past few months. I'm not naming my agency on purpose, but the group is based up in our DC headquarters. I participate on the phone. It's been good for me. There's a nice mix of people.
I like this exercise because it forced me to relive a plethora of feelings, everything from joy to sorrow. There are even some sensory lines there (taste, touch, etc). I may work on it a little more.
I'm wondering what would I write if the time limit for the exercise was a full hour?
And I'm wondering if I have some lemons in the fridge for lemonade?
A few years ago, I saw this picture of Nina Simone and Redd Foxx on someone's website.
I remember thinking... how classy. I knew of Redd Foxx from his Sanford and Son days, but this picture was of him from the 50s or 60s, long before my time. I'd heard of Nina Simone, but I didn't know anything much about her, except that she was a jazz or blues singer.
Then maybe a couple of years ago I heard something that I thought was a bit... horrific, for lack of a better word right now. There's aNina Simone biopic coming out and they picked Zoe Saldana of all people to play her. Here's one of the photographs of Zoe and Nina Simone side by side.
So. I already knew Zoe had to wear a prosthetic nose for the part. I just knew they had to slather her in dark makeup, and my thoughts on that were correct after seeing this picture.
She is the bankable black star right now. She's the majority's idea of black beauty. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose. If she pulls this off, it will be masterful, akin to Jamie Foxx playing a perfect Ray Charles. I want to see the movie, but I will have let to let ya'll see it first and let me know how it is before I spend my money.
I would've like to have see Viola Davis or Angela Bassett play the part. They are much better actresses. Oh, and the actress who played young Ray Charles' mother would have been great.
I was neither here nor there about this.
That was, until I watched the Nina Simone documentary What Happened, Miss Simone?
That's available exclusively on NetFlix.
Did any of you see that?
It should have been titled "What the hell happened, Nina Simone?"
My goodness. That was some pure craziness. CRAZY!!!!
I watched it, and was O_O. But I watched it a couple more times, and I thought it was BRILLIANT.
Why? Because it was look into a star's personal life. Let me correct that: it was a look into the back closets and hiding places of a star's life. Nina Simone had A LOT going on. She was bipolar, manic depressive, an abuser, a victim of abuse. And she didn't really want to do jazz or blues. All she wanted to be was a black female classic pianist. She just wanted to play Bach. So it was sad to see that thread of lost hope running through the course of her life.
It makes me think of my own life. I better be vigilant about pursuing my purpose. Don't get to the end of life and wish things could have gone differently. Regret has to be one of the worse emotions ever. Ugh.
And Nina Simone's voice is very authentic, something akin to Tina Turner's voice. You know what I'm talkinng I'm wondering if Zoe can pull THAT off. If so, my hat off to her. That's an Oscar performance. Maybe that is why she took the role. Who knows.
But the documentary is worth seeing. It's only available on Netflix. I hope it becomes available on DVD. I will buy a copy for my shelf. And I will buy copies for friends. It was that good. I've watched it three times, and I need to watch it a few more times just to digest it fully.
One of the more interesting quotes from the documentary. Someone was interviewing her, and they asked her what the word "Freedom" means. She said it was just a feeling. She said it's like trying to describe to someone how it felt to be in love. You can't describe But she turned to the interviewer and said something profound:
"I'll tell you what freedom is to me: No fear!"
That's a heckuva way to describe it. I will always remember that.
If you have Netflix, then get it. Tayari and gal Val (Serenity23) were telling me about it. That's the biggest reason I watched it. If they enjoyed it, it must be good.
It's worth getting the 30 day free trial, though. Netflix is doing some ground breaking stuff.
Here's one of Nina Simone's more popular songs. "To Be Young, Gifted, and Black"
Ten Thoughts always bother me when I first start out. But by Thought#8, I feel happy. It means I'm thinking.
So here we go.
1. When it comes to driving in traffic, there is nothing worse than being behind someone who doesn't know where they're going. You know what I mean. . . stuff like, I want to turn left, but oh no, I want to turn right. All this despite being in the wrong lanes. I thought that was the case until today, and last week. So I want to correct that: There's NOTHING worse than being behind an 18 wheeler driven by someone who doesn't know where they're going. Sigh.
2. When it comes to parking, there should be a law that trucks and SUVs park in the back of the parking lot. I'm not sure why you park your huge Surburban up front. I have to park next to you, and I take my chances when leaving, for I cannot see while backing out due to your truck. And that is sad.
3. Mitch and Callie need cat food. It costs $19.99 a bag, and it lasts two and a half weeks. I want to change the food, but Mitch gets a case of the bubble guts, and that's no fun.
4. Speaking of pet food, I can only buy their brand at the one of the big popular retail pet superstores, you know, the ones where you can bring your pet in the store. Every once in awhile (a bit to often for my comfort), someone brings their angry dog into the store. Hon, you know your dog has problems. I know you want him to get out. But leave him at home, please. Take him for a walk. You know he can't deal with being around people. Stop that. Because if your dog bites me, theirs gonna be trouble...
5. I've been working on a report for over 2 weeks. I am so ready to get back in the lab and do some dirty chemistry work. (Never thought I would say that).
6. I haven't been eating right. And I can tell, because I'm a step slower. And that's not good..
7. I got an official letter from my breast surgeon that last month's mammogram showed no abnormalities. What a nice piece of news to get in the mail.
8. I am watching the Republican Party. It looks as if it is about to implode. Sigh.
9. My sister bought home some shrimp cerviche last night. I always see that on the cooking shows. I never knew what the big deal was. It was pretty good, but I'm not to fond of the idea of raw shrimp. I like my seafood cooked.
10. There was more traffic than usual on the drive in this morning. It took me 25 minutes to get to work. Mind you, I like less than 5 miles from my job. There was a wreck involving 7 cars at my exit. A bunch of fender benders. I'm always glad I didn't leave earlier than my usual time. I always wonder if I had, would I have been involved in the accidents.
That's it for Ten Tuesday thoughts! Enjoy your day!
I'ma start celebrating my Mondays. I want to be different and move away from the norm of "Oh Gosh, it's Monday. Ughhhhhh."
Someone somewhere didn't make it through the weekend. I did. Good enough for me. Celebrate the day.
One of my prayers is always "God, I thank you for the day and all the great things that will happen today. If not for me, than someone else. Amen."
And I make a mental note of the good things that happen that day. And something good always happen.
Good is the normal. I heard that on a radio show the other day.
The news never reports that an airplane landed safely at your local airport today. That's not news. That's good. Now when the plane crashes? That's bad news. And it's all over the news. You see what happened when the plane disappears. That's even bigger news.
Just a mini food for thought there. Big lesson: Monday is a good day. Period.
My weekend. I hung out with my sister all day Saturday. We didn't even leave the house. Somehow we got caught up lounging out and watching Lifetime Television for Women. Why? Because there was an interesting slate of movies.
The Girl I Met Online. The Boy I Met Online. The Husband I Met Online. The Wife I Met Online.
And finally... the season premiere of The Bride I Bought Online.
I'll just say this: there was plenty of tomfoolery, deceit, anger, mental problems, sociopathy, and murder on Lifetime Television for Women on Saturday.
And here's the kicker: There were a ton of Online dating commercials the whole day. LOL! Hilarious. These movies were a cautionary tale against such.
It was good to hang out with my sister. And I got a ton of crocheting done. I need to get as much time in with her as possible.
I went to church on Sunday. This is a bizarre thing for me, as I usually go on Saturday nights. But it worked out well. I enjoyed myself. Then I ran a bunch of errands, which seems to be the norm on weekends. My only issue is that it was HAWT outside. My goodness. And today it's going to be 100 degrees. The weather lady said the heat index would be 107 degrees. I don't know what the hell that means. But it means to me that I should keep my behind inside.
Song of the Week. I don't have anything really... but here's an interesting Kendrick Lamar appearance on the Ellen show."These Walls"
I like how they did that. A bit more mature. Something for the grown and sexy!
The 10th Bloggaversary Sweepstakes is still in full full effect until August 15th. $100 gift cards up for grabs. I am not sure how many. It's all dependent on the number of posts I do. You just be sure to comment for a chance to mean. Texts and emails work, too. I have a good enough system to keep up with that. So holler back!
Look out for a full load of posts this week... on purpose.
This again been a short week. I have been sitting here working on a report for 2 weeks. Ugh. This should be the last day. Better be. I'm having to run back and forth to the lab to retrieve little pieces of data that don't look quite right. If I wasn't doing that, I would be at my desk for 8 hours straight. Not a good thing.
El Chapo. Someone escaped from prison again. This time, it's "El Chapo". But this times it's different. He's the head of some mexican cartel and he's worth a billion dollars.
Couldn't be me.
EVERY single day of sitting in jail, I'd be talking smack.
"Ya'll know I'm getting out of here, right?"
"This food is nasty. Ya'll know I'm leaving, right?"
I am surprised he didn't walk straight out the front door. Because the way everything went down, it looks like everybody was paid off. One doesn't do major construction, i.e., dig expensive elaborate tunnels with support beams without somebody noticing.
"I'm raising up out of here. Ya'll know that, right?"
And that's what he did. Walked into the shower, jumped through a hole and got the heck out of dodge.
That's what you do when you're worth a billion dollars. I'm not sure what the New York escapees were doing. They dug out, but didn't have a good plan to get out of there.
El Chapo is on an island sipping sweet tea right now. He escaped before, and it took them 13 years to find him. Ya'll won't be catching him now. Nope.
Cosby. So a reporter asked President Obama his opinion on Cosby, pretty much, if he should take back a medal from him. Obama said there was no precedence for that but he added (paraphrasing) that if you give someone drugs, and then have sex with them, that it's rape.
Well, we all know that. But... when the President says it?
That's the nail in the coffin. Nothing else needs to be said. All of Cosby's supporters can just shut it down. Cosby himself doesn't even have to say another word.
I guess it wasn't enough that over 40 women came forward with their stories. You know, that type of trauma sticks with you forever. Last week, a part of a deposition was opened to the public, where he admitted to drugging a woman.
That's it for him. Nothing else to be said.
Personally, I think he angered some higher ups, and they got him. He's been protected forever. No more protection now.
This lets me pause for the Quote of the Day: "You can do many great things in life, but you will be remembered for the bad things you do or the troubles/controversies you have."
You don't believe me?
What's your first thought when you think of:
We can go on... and on... and on.
So Cosby has, for over 40 or 50 years, provided us with positive examples, everything from Fat Albert to the Cosby show and beyond. We will remember all that. But we will, from now on, FIRST, think of all the drugging and rape issues. That will be the first thing that comes to mind.
Unfortunate. Yes. But you know when I knew that he had some darkness in his background? It was when he came out with all those speeches taring down the black community. Whenever I see some vehement stuff like that, I automatically think... what is this person hiding?
I'll let you ponder that for awhile. Pay close attention in the future and you'll see what I'm talking about.
That's it for me.
The sweepstakes is still on... Comment to win. Not too many commentors, so uh... you have better chances to win!
Sweepstakes goes on through August 15.
Do I need a song of the day? I suppose. I like a LOT of interesting rap music lately. But I think I need to tone it down. Stuff to sensitive for ya'lls ears, lol.
Instead, I'll put up two of my favorite Mary J. Blige songs, songs that were never commercial hits.
"I'm in Love"... This is a remake of a Gap Band song, I believe.
Both of those songs make me happy.
I read something interesting in a book last year. It was an exercise. You should make a CD of your favorite songs and listen to it. Why? Because it will cause an internal chemical response, most notably, the release of calming and pain killing endorphins.
I read about some of the intricate science behind that. So these days, I pay attention to my responses concerning my favorite music.
I always kid that when I go to get my hair cut by my barber, the shop sometimes plays some intense rap music. Now I like rap, but my goodness. Wow. Real intense kill-everybody-sell-every-drug type of thing. I always say that if someone runs in hollering "Let's go do some drive-bys", that I'd be the first to participate. That's how hard that music is.
I'm just kidding. But I always wonder, especially after the reading I did, what influences our mental environments.
Seed is seed, you know. And our hearts are the most fertile of soils. That soil WILL produce...something.
And the subconscious mind is millions times stronger than the conscious mind.
Put all of what I have said just now together and you got some serious food-for-thought. Deluxe.
Yes, that's me. The monkey laid out on the floor hollerin' "Lawdt".
My cubicle mate Lady M had the nerve to go on training AND vacation for 5 weeks straight. Ugh. She was texting me wonderful pics of the 3 week training (down in beautiful Orlando), and vacay pics from New York and Canada.
I believe I texted the picture above from me a few times. Along with angry texts of "Stop all this foolishness and come back to work!!!"
She is the proprietor of our bootleg Sharbucks Coffee shop. It went from suburbia Sharbucks to hood sharbucks. I texted to her that Sharbucks was vacant, and the white folks weren't around. I tend to be antisocial, and not a part of that little crowd anyway.
She's back now. When I came in to work that day, I dropped my bags and we had a Celie and Nettie moment. And it was a good moment! I am so happy to see her! (And somehow, Sharbucks MIRACULOUSLY got spiffy for her comeback that week. Imagine that. Humph).
I've felt like the monkey laid out on the ground in the picture for another reason.
Last April, or roundabouts, my sister called me up.
"Guess what?" she said.
I knew it was something important because I could hear the glee all through her voice. This meant good news of some kind. "Uh, what?"
"I got excepted into the program," she said. "I'm going to Abu Dahbi."
I was driving at the time. And my immediate reaction was a groan from deep within, a groan I didn't even know existed.
And a couple of seconds later, I cleaned it up. I grabbed some glee from some special part of my brain.
"Awwww alright! Good for you, Kentucky."
We talked a little longer. I wanted to get off the phone because I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. We eventually got off the phone.
And I cried every time I thought about it. I'm even crying now.
I just don't like to think about it.
My sister, the only family that I deal with on a consistent basis, is leaving for a 2 year or more teaching contract in Abi Dahbi. If you don't know where that is, it's a few hundred miles south of Dubai.
She's been talking about this for the past couple of years. I've sat and listened intently, doing my best to hold my selfishness down like one tries to hold a beach ball under water.
It's hard. I don't want my sister to go ANYWHERE, I want her to stay here with me.
I've gone through little mini-fits of sadness and moments of anger. "Got dog, I ain't gonna have NOBODY."
Of course, that's not true. That's just an imagination of the worse case scenario. It is a fear.
"I ain't gonna have NOBODY!"
I've written fast and furiously about how I feel deep in the pages of my journal. I don't want my sister to go anywhere. She and I have spent our holidays together for the past decade, I believe. Our family doesn't get together for the holidays because it's such a mess (I split long ago, even though I tried. I just don't like bad treatment, man.)
Now I have to find something else to do. And I had to realize that I was doing a lot of "I...I...Me...Me...Me."
Just being selfish. To myself and on paper. With her, I haven't been like that. In my heart of hearts, I want her to go on and pursue her dreams. The USA feels like it's about to implode, with all this social mess going on. LEAVE. Go somewhere new. GO!
"Maybe you will go over there and decide to stay," I've said on more than one occasion.
I mean that. I've dealt with my feelings. I get teary-eyed when I'm with her somewhere, and she talks with such excitement about it to her friends or my friends. I've had to wail (only a couple of times) "Stop talking about it. You're making me cry."
We all laugh while I wipe the tears that are beginning to fall from my eyes.
She is leaving in August or thereabouts. I have had time to get my head straight and attitude right. We've been talking about her plans and all the legal things she has to do before she go. I've been attentive and as helpful as possible. I've been available for whatever help is possible.
I've been doing well, not acting out and falling out on the floor crying.
But... that is until she moved in with me on July 1st.
Her lease was up. No need to renew. She could stay with me. And when it's time to go, she could just leave.
But it's hard. So hard when she bounds down the stairs with her usual greeting of "Hey Lisa!"
And we hang out. I may talk to her an hour after work. She's usually upstairs when I come home. I grab her keys off the table and move her car so I can put my car (Lucy Jr) in the driveway. (I drive Pam a little now. Her car and my Pam can fit side by side in the back of the driveway, which is fine by me).
There have been many talks. I've been trying to pick her brain about her money. I just want to know whether I need to throw a couple of hundred bucks in a can every week and she uses that for her personal "getting around" and living money right now. She is being all vague about it (which is annoying). She has a couple of more paychecks from her teaching job coming. She should be out of here by then. But there was a heavy discussion of her at least thinking about if she needed some extra help. I let her know how much I had on hand, and what I could do. She is maintaining that she is fine, and she wants to work her budget out herself on her own.
Humph. Okay. *ladylee kicks the hard eyeroll*
We've been talking about life. She is beginning to have some issues that I am having now and have not quite solved. There's my usual retort of "You better work on that, because you don't want to be working on that when you are my age. It's much harder."
Sister Callie Jo is giving her a hard time. She's stealing stuff out of her room. Trash. A flip flop. Trying to pull clothes down out the closet. Callie's just hot that somebody is in the house. Mitch is giving me a look everyday that says "You know there's somebody upstairs, right?"
It has been hilarious.
Man oh man. I was doing good. But now I see her every day. We talk and we laugh. I fuss. She's vague.
What the world am I going to do when I have to see her off at the airport?
She talked to our brother Milk and Cookies about it awhile back. "Man, you gonna have to come home. You gonna have to pick Lisa up off the floor."
I am determined that that will not happen. I may not even take her to the airport. I am trying to make sure she spend ample time with our mother. That's who might need to be picked up off the floor.
I'll be okay. I am determined to be okay. Whenever I get all teary-eyed, I spend time blessing her life. I spend time thinking about how great an opportunity this will be. I never had such an exciting opportunity. Oh the wonderful things she will do.
And that helps me smile through my tears.
As for now, I will enjoy her presence. I will even go visit if I can.
It is life changing. Less for me, yet more for her.
So the big news today is that some big new arms control deal was struck with Iran.
And people are all up in arms about it.
Me? I don't follow politics that closely. Right now it's like someone throwing a pie in my face, i.e., whenever I turn on the news, they are talking about something political, complete with the fast moving ticker tape at the bottom of the screen. I can't avoid it.
President Obama gave a speech this morning about the agreement. And he had Vice-president Joe Biden in tow.
I grabbed that snapshot off of twitter this morning. And it is classic.
I know the caption says "'I will veto' legislation preventing Iran deal".
But what the picture really says (in my opinion) is...
"Don't start none, won't be none. And if you start something, we coming for you."
Yes, Mr. President. Do your thang. And Biden is behind you mean mugging.
Don't start nothing over here.
I hope he gets tough with a Republican congress who is hell bent on never seeing him succeed at anything. He is nearing the end of his term. I would be dropping the mike. DAILY. Right on the republicans heads.
I don't know what's in this nuclear arms deal. I ain't got time to be sitting down and reading thousands of pages of legalise. No way. I will leave that up to ya'll.
One, because I've been trying to get my laptop to work all day. It is just now acting right. This laptop has to be 6 or 7 years old, so it's time for a new one I suppose. Or maybe I can just look around for my trusty netbook that I never use.
The other reason I'm in a funk is because I am off today. I have had a headache for the past 36 hours or so, and it has worn me out. So I just called in sick. I'm not doing any lab work right now, only spending this week and last writing up a report. So I am kicking myself for not signing up for telework. I will work on that when I get back to work. I have been working on some data for the past several months, and oddly enough, I have it on copy of it on a drive. But uh, this Oldgirl ain't working at home for free. No sir.
The headache is subsiding. I think I'm just dehydrated. Sigh. I've been gulfing down a ton of water. I need to stock up on some tylenol. Ugh. Too bad I don't dig around for it until I need it.
At any rate, I had a decent weekend. I had my writing group this Saturday morning. I have to get my mind right to make the 80 mile round trip. And it is hot as hell outside. This weekend it actually hit 100 degrees in the ATL. 100 degrees. I had the AC on super high, as high as it would go. I am thankful for AC. I remember when cars weren't equipped with AC. That was back in the 70s. We had to roll the window down and go fast and catch the breeze, if you could call it that. Thank goodness those days are over.
But I really enjoyed the writing group meeting. I have said it before, and I will continue to say it: they are such NICE people. Just wonderful. I look around at them during out 2 to 3 hours together and I think "I wish I was this nice of a person."
I just like being around them. Such a even calm spirit in the room.
Anyway, I am proud to report that I finished up my story "Microwaves and Crockpots" and I turned it in. I think I got up to the 5th draft, and was done. It looks good, and when I read it to my break-out group last month, they all really enjoyed it. So I was happy about that. I don't really write inspirational pieces except here on blog. So it was a challenge to take a blog post and shape into a story of sorts. I have been culling together blog posts anyway and rewriting them for hopes of publishing them in my own anthology. That's been a goal for awhile, and I have some 10 stories ready and formatted. I may even go back and pull together a couple of spiritual pieces, since I have room to submit another 4 pages to the group for the anthology. So I will be working on that the rest of the month.
I made my 80 mile round trip without much trouble. Usually there is construction out that way, but it wasn't all that bad. It takes me 40 minutes to get there (at 10 in the morning), and about 50 minutes to get back home due to more people being on the street.
Something interesting always happens at meetings. Last meeting, our group was reading our pieces, and one lady didn't have copies for every one. She said she didn't have a computer at the time because she was poor, so she wrote her's in her journal and she would read from there. I was in utter shock by this all. I was thinking about my laptop, netbook, kindle, etc... Here she was, not even having a computer. I have been thinking about that every since.
This time, one of the ladies had published a book. We were all excited about it. She writes sci-fi and paranormal. I remember a couple of months ago that she was talking about what she wrote. I was thinking, hmm... somebody else that doesn't write christian fiction (even though this is a christian group). I need to get up with her later on. I caught up with her this time, as she was sitting behind me. I bought a copy of her book. A guy next to me said he needed to save up for the book. I bought him a book, too. It was only $15. He was elated.
This is something that's not of the ordinary for me. I've been sowing seed for well over a decade, and it is habit, as I want it to be. I am most definitely not worse off for it. It is habit. And I hope it becomes a more ingrained habit. I harvest a TON of "fruit" from such seed. A ton.
And this leads me to something interesting. I was listening to a black talk show I love, one I have been listening to for close to a year (I never miss it), and the host said something interesting. She said that when a white homeless man walks up on her, or if she even sees one, she thinks... For real?
I froze the first time I heard her say that. Why? Because I have felt the same way too.
For real? You a white man, running up on ME asking for help?
I remember that happening a few months ago in the Whole Foods parking lot. First of all, I'm looking at you sideways for walking up on me while I'm putting my bag in the car. I have all manners of crazy stuff in the trunk to shank a joker with. But you're asking me for help?
COME ON, MAN.
You are white. You can go shave and shower and look like you own the company. No problem.
I am a black woman. Even now, with all these degrees, even with a "Dr." attached forever and ever to my name, I will always be thought of as "less than" than my peers. Always. I could discover the cure to AIDS, cancer and ebola, and it wouldn't matter. My skin color will always be an issue.
What a waste, I think, as I had to hear the man's plea for a dollar. What a waste of good white skin.
I remember when I was young, we would sit around talking about what we would do "If we were white". I even remember as a child walking around with a towel on my head, pretending that I had long lovely "white girl" hair.
So yes. When I see a homeless person, in my mind I too think... For real???? And I remember when the show host talked of her exact same thoughts on the subject, I froze. Why? Because I thought I was the only one that felt that way. And in my heart of hearts, I knew that it was wrong.
In my prayers, and in my journal, I remember praying about it being something I needed to work on. I don't want to be color struck like that. People need help, regardless of skin color. Regardless.
So little situations present themselves of examples of people of the majority not having enough. I recognize them as such. I may or may not lend a helping hand. I do what I can, as for anyone, and I keep it moving. I just want the thoughts of just because a person is white and having a rough time, that I can fold my arms and judge them. We all go through stuff. There are more poor white folks than black folks. Yet for some reason, we are the face of poverty and all things negative. Cultural conditioning at it's worse.
I remember watching Minister Andy Stanley one night, and he said if you are thinking racial stuff, you better book a meeting with yourself and work it out. And he was right. I've booked several meetings with myself and there have been some decent results. And a need for more meetings. Sigh.
So that's what I am thinking about today. That was a mini-food for thought freestyle.
That's it. I feel better. I have been drinking a lot of water. My blood pressure has been low, so it has come back up to where it needs to be. I will be the first one in the door at work tomorrow.
I have 840 hours of sick leave. I try to save them just in case I fall out and need to be out for a couple of months.
Song of the Week. Oldie but Goodie! SOS band "Tell me if you Still care"
That song is some AWESOMENESS... and I am sure that my 13-year-old mind was mesmerized by the high technology of that video.
Yet it is a great ORIGINAL song. No originality these days. And not many bands either. Humph.
That's it. This is Sweepstakes time, all the way up to August 15th or roundabouts. Be sure to comment to enter. I am giving away $100 gift cards. Not sure how many. I am taking the number the posts over the 6 week period, and dividing by 10. That's what I will give away. So get on it, doggonit. Make that money!
Strategize and execute. You know how to make it do what it do.
Congratulations to Serena Williams on her 6th Wimbledon title!
I missed the Saturday morning match. But I have memories now of watching the two sisters play around the 4th of July holiday. As a matter of fact, I don't watch unless they are playing. I honestly don't know any of the other players.
The Williams sisters have turned women tennis into something exciting over the past 15 years.
I have learned from them that you can do whatever you set your mind and heart to do.
Even in the midst of the hate, at times.
Now that's perseverance!
Congrats to Serena. I hope there are more championships to come!
And the only thing that would make it GREAT would be if it was payday. I often think about how life would be if I got my biweekly check EVERY week. I will tell you this, I would not be sitting here right now. I would be laid out on a beach somewhere. Laid the hell out.
Anyway, interesting things happening today.
That Confederate flag has come down in South Carolina!
And all that's left is a flagpole.
And they say that they are also taking down the flagpole.
How does one dig up a flagpole? I don't know. I'm sure that it can be done. Not as fast as the flag was taken down, though.
I find it interesting, and sad, that it took a tragedy to bring us to our collective knees... and it took a tragedy to remove a flag.
I have often wondered when it was when I first knew that this flag was a bad thing. I don't know. I know I remember images of the Klan carrying the flag. And I as a child knew that the Klan killed and hang folks. So I deduced that one should stay away from such people. I have seen the lone parking space available next to a pick-up truck with a confederate flag license plate and I knew NOT to park there. God forbid that person, who I automatically thought was not the smartest or most intelligent person in the world, would see me and do something bad to me.
That's a terrible way to think and feel. It is. And I'm not sure why a human being would want to see another human being feel that way... except on purpose.
And there's a stereotype of a confed flag waver: impoverished white, with a pickup truck, with the gun rack in the back window.
And most likely, living in a trailer park.
We all know that's not really the case. Stereotypes are stereotypes.
My ex-husband's best friend had a confederate flag license plate. They were roommates, and I remembering asking questions about it. After getting to know him, he was an alright dude.
But there came a time when he told my ex-husband... "I think it's time to remove my license plate."
You got that right, I thought at the time. You're no longer living deep in the country. You have an education. You're an engineer. Ditch the license plate.
That's just something that I'm just thinking about.
Anyway, this has been a good week. As usual, it has gone by fast. This is a good thing. I can't say now in this new job that I'm watching the clock. No clock watching AT ALL. I am actually racing to finish up on time and in time. That happens maybe 10 percent of the time. So I do have some credit time now. It's good not to have to use annual leave.
I don't post as much as I like to. But I tell you what... I'm coming up on my 10th Bloggaversary, and I am excited!
You know what I wanted to do? And I've been thinking about this all year long: give away 10 $100 gift cards.
Could you imagine that?
Oh my! I've been meditating on that. Chewing on it. Rolling it around over and over in my mind. Just imagining it...
Alas, I can't do that. Or could I?
What a bountiful offering it would be. Just wonderful. That is some SERIOUS seed.
I really wanted to set the monies aside for such. But I didn't. But I could easily just do it anyway.
But I'm not.
But I will tell you what I will do. I am giving away $100 dollar gift cards. But what I will do is do a certain amount of posts up until my anniversary. I think it's around August 13th. I don't know how many posts I will do. I'm not going to even count. But at the end, I will count the posts, divide that number by 10, and that will be the number of gift cards I will have for the drawings.
So... If I do 20 posts, that will be 2 gift cards, etc. 50 posts? That will be 5 gift cards.
You see how it goes.
Simple enough, hmm?
So that's how it's going down. I'm gonna post A LOT. I know that. Just for me, really. Some of it will be quite spiritual, as I have been doing a bit of reading as of late. Some of it will be ratchet, to the point of you saying... uh... what is her problem. I don't like to blend up like that, and it's a reason why I don't post as much as I like. I censor myself a little more than I like. So I am going to challenge myself to write like no one is reading but me. I write a TON, as I journal like crazy (up to page 405 in my journals since Christmas. Wow). And there's some good meaty stuff in there. Some extremely interesting responses to prayers, some of which I will be literally pondering for the next few months, if not years.
I want to put up some of my favorite posts. I have spent some time making a list of my top 20 favorite songs.
I want to post ALL that up.
So the rules are the same... Comment to win. I will have the usual drawings. Some of you have your strategies. Work them.
Don't let someone like ol' Sasha, who lurks like a mutha, run up in here and run the jewels on ya'll.
In simpler terms, don't let folk come up in here and straight rob.
And what if I can get 100 posts out of this? That would be 10 gift cards.
We getting over into ya'll messing with my mortgage, lol.
And this time, we at The House of LadyLee are giving away Visa gift cards. Talking to these youngsters around here, I've figured out how to get those. They seem to be more useful, right?
So... comment to win. We are all over on the twitter streets and facebook these days, so I do have readers, but not as many. Blogging is not as popular these days. But ya'll some lurkers. Get in where you fit in.
So stop lurking. If you strategize, you can pay some bills in the fall. LOL
So those are the rules! Work it out!
Song of the Week. You know I LOVE some Kendrick Lamar! He has a new video out! "Alright"
WHAT A POWERFUL VISUAL.
I am doing *cartwheels* in my head... over and over and over and over until infinity.
Geraldo Rivera has been going off about the performance of the song on the BET awards. THAT video should make him really mad. If I was Kendrick, I would email that to him personally... with love.
Alright now! Comment to win! No stupidity like 100 comments per post. LOL, that has never happened. I will start deleting stuff if it ever does.
The Sweepstakes is retroactive to July 1st, 2015. It ends August 15th, 2015.
When I saw that Misty Copeland had become head ballerina of her company, I smiled. I would never have known about her if it wasn't for one of the brothers on my twitter timeline.. He puts up pictures of her from time to time, and I, being a bit perturbed about the dude's stream of female pictures from day to day, decided to look her up and read about her life. What a great success story.
I think there have been other black ballerinas. But I think she is the first to get endorsement deals, and the first to be a principal ballerina in a non-minority company.
Some little black girl who has always wished to be a ballerina now has one more to look up to.