Food for Thought: "Seed, Seed, and More Seed"

Since I've been on this 30 day fast, where we can only eat foods that originate from a seed (see last post)...

Let's just say, I got seed on my mind.

All I'm thinking about is seed.

And that was the purpose of this fast.

Now, since I'm not the most learned individual, I tend to go look up words, to help me understand them properly. So I looked up the word "seed" over on dictionary.com. There were close to thirty different definitions of this word seed.

One stuck out, and I really don't know why... Maybe because it ties in closest to what I think of seed.

Seed: the germ or propagative source of anything.

That right there is a loaded definition. A phrase that sticks out to me is "propagative source". Source can also mean "root". So, if we alter that definition, then we get

Seed: the germ or propagative root of anything.

Now, that's a definition right there. Hmmm

Another word sticks out in that definition: "anything".

What do I take from this? The following:

Everything starts somewhere.

Those huge California Redwoods didn't just appear overnight out of thin air. They all started from a seed.

Likewise, you and I didn't develop into who we are overnight. Our problem areas didn't develop overnight. They started a long time ago.

A seed was sown somewhere. Where? Who knows! I can only speak for myself, if I examine my past really hard. But a seed was sown somewhere.

We saw something. Somebody said something to us. You and I received that seed (that thing we saw, that thing that was said)...

We incubated it, we nourished it...

And it grew into something.

Oh, and it grew into something BIG. Now, maybe we caught it when it was a mere seedling and we could pluck it out the ground with a little toothpick. But, if we've been growing it and nourishing it, it might be as big as one of them big California Redwoods. And a little toothpick won't do. It's gonna take some WORK to uproot that issha that started from a little seed.

Hmmm... Does that sound complicated? Maybe so... But you know what I'm talking about.

Let me give you an example: You've read on this blog, many a time, that I can't stand reading erotic fiction. First of all, much of it is badly written. And with me deeply ensconced in learning the art of writing good fiction, I ain't reading that. Second of all, I've gotten busy every which way possible, have swung from the chandaliers, got down on kitchen floors and counters... but heck, that don't mean that I want to read about it, i.e, I don't find it original.

But most importantly, if I keep reading it, and reading it, and reading it...

I'm sowing some seed into the ground.

I'm sowing some seed into the ground (my heart).

That seed is going to grow into... something.

So, why would I ever be surprised sometime later in life, that I wake up one morning and realize "I am such a ho!".

I suppose that is an extreme example. Surely it is. That ain't true for everybody. I, LadyLee, have a VERY addictive personality. I am ALWAYS mindful of that. That's another way of saying, if I start some craziness, it will take root and start to grow VERY rapidly and out of control.

A real life example about myself: I use to listen to A LOT of gangster rap in my 20's.

Why is it not a shock that I use to smoke a lot of weed and drink alot and cuss way too much? It's not a shock, because I was spending my time with music (containing words, which produced images in my mind). Eventually something's going to happen.

So, with that said, and looking at the condition of urban black music: Why are you suprised that our children and teens are out of control?

Everything in life is about seed.

Everything starts somewhere.

Jokers don't wake up and become hard core killers overnight. No way.

I submit to you that THAT is impossible.

Why do you suppose when you look at these documentaries on killers (stuff like Snapped, a show which I absolutely love), that they ALWAYS go back to the beginning.... waaaay before the murders take place?

They have to show you where things started. They are looking for the seed.

All these negative examples. GEEZ. Let's think about something positive.

Now, I love the fact that Barack Obama is president. I was neither here or there concerning the election. I just wanted that stuff to be over with, because it was stressing me and everybody else out.

Yes we are all clicking our heels, doing the running man over this.

But I'm not thinking about that, the end result, his presidency.

I'm thinking about the moment, the THOUGHT of "I want to become president" forming in his heart.

What was the "seed" that started all of this?

I've always imagined he and Michelle sitting at the kitchen table in the cool of the morning, just before the kids wake up, having their cups of coffee, and him saying "Baby, there's something that has been in my heart, and I want to know what you think about it."
His whole presidency grew from some seed.

Interesting example. I hope I got my point across.

And, this is what I have learned about seed during the 30 day seed fast:

Overall, I feel as if we are responsible for what "seed" we choose to receive in our hearts. We are responsible for the incubation, care and nourishment of that seed.

But, most important, and terribly crucial and critical-

We have to investigate if that seed is something that will bring us to our life's purpose or if that seed will eventually grow into something that will lead to our total destruction.

I am starting to throw everything in those 2 categories: Life purpose or total destruction.

And when I say "Destruction", I mean deterioration and loss of my self-esteem, self-love, character, self-worth, and a host of other things...

Even destruction of my life.

And I am finding now, over the last few years, that if I discern the DIFFERENCE and act accordingly, well... I can expect to "grow" a better life for myself.

Seed may mean something totally different to you. Enlighten me.

Question (which you can answer for yourself and quietly to yourself):

If you have a bad habit, are you able to locate the seed from which it originated? Are you able to locate the root, the "propagative source"?

If so... if you destroy the root, then you will destroy the bad fruit that's being produced in your life.

More importantly, when it comes to the good in you, the good things about you (your positive qualities), are you able to locate the seed from whence it grew?

Are you thankful for that today?

If not, take a moment to be thankful for it. It may be something that will grow into your life's purpose.

I hope I put a little sumthin' sumthin' on your mind today.

I really do.

Food for Thought: Seed and Prayer, Prayer and Seed

(Dedicated to the Original Oldgirls LB and Serenity)

I have a birthday coming up in about 9 days, and if you have been reading the LadyLee blog for the past few years, you will know that around this time, I tend to wax nostalgic about the status of the past year since the last birthday. Much has happened in that span of time. And it is interesting that our church fast is for a month just prior to my birthday.

This also fulfills mandatory requirements from my baby blog sista Serenity3-0. That chick gets a bit surly if I don't post some posts from my heart, posts that delve deep behind the funny. She has private access to my wonderful wisdom on a daily basis (and I to hers) , and for some reason thinks I should share what's going on in my heart and with me in general within the virtual walls of the House of LadyLee.

These posts are rare, and you better catch 'em while you can.

The House of LadyLee can turn back smurfy at the drop of a hat.

So bear with me and hunker down for a long post here or there.

Ya'll know how I do. (Hush up Original Oldgirls Chele and Lbeezy. Hush now).

It is my goal here, and especially leading up to and surrounding my birthday, to really gather in my thoughts and experiences in certain matters and place them in a set of blog posts. That way, I can just pull them up and read them. I use them to uplift and encourage myself throughout the rest of the year. (This was especially true with last years birthday posts).

So, I said I would write about this fast that I am on right now.

I've been holding off on writing about the fast because I wanted to get near the end of it. There are too many *crickets* at the beginning of a fast, and I need to get to the end to have some clarity on it all, because A LOT of stuff has occurred. I won't divulge here. But you know you have to read between the lines here anyway. I expect some "sidebar" email discussions with several people behind these posts. (Trust me, that has already been going on- What's up, my bootleg virtual psychotherapist Ms.Blackliterature.com?)

I suppose this fasts ends on February 4th (I need to go check on that).

And this is what, the 29th?

So that means 5 more days.

Every year, during the month of January, our church does a 30 day fast.

It is suppose to get us ready for the year ahead.

I have failed the past couple of years.

Don't know why... Let me stop lying:

Yes I do: I was lazy and hard-headed. I was selfish, self-serving!

That's what that's about.

But this year, I was, and still am, determined to finish. Yeah, yeah, I decided that I won't beat myself up if I mess up (which I did one time. It was funny. So I will most definitely write about it).

I would just get back on the horse and go forward!

So... the fast rules change every year. This year, the rules seem to coincide with some of the life issues we were studying.

1. Whatever is eaten has to come from a seed. Fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds... whatever grows out of the ground or on a tree. It has to come from a seed. Add to that rule- no junk food, no sweets, no sugar, no sodas, no meat, no refined foods.

Seed related products and water. That's it.

2. Pray for one hour a day.

Sounds simple enough.

(That's what I always think on or prior to Day 1, lol)

Now, after the instructions, you could see people mulling over this.

*Crickets* abound, frozen in that classic Karate kid eagle stance.

So, the pastor said REAL QUICK... (and I paraphrase)

"Don't be calling up to the church asking questions, trying to figure out what is what. The instructions are simple. Ya'll are grown! Just don't cheat. I don't care how many times you eat a day, that's up to you. If ya gotta ask a bunch of questions, then ya trying to find a way to cheat or something. You are adults. Work it out!!"

I think he had that right. He was talking to me. I myself am quite the bootleg chick, you see.

Now, as for the praying an hour a day...



I was up in the air about that. That meant getting up earlier than usual, and praying. I am grouchy in the mornings. I don't want to talk to NOBODY that early, not even Jesus. I sometimes don't feel well or don't sleep well because of my illness. (Uh, don't trip- it is very low grade- some joint pain, maybe a fever or a headache, stuff like that). Let's just say, it takes me a few hours to get up and get moving, get my head right, all that - in order to start my day.

Interestingly, we had a prayer conference in early January, more like a clinic really, on how to pray... basically examining elements of prayer and what not, and most importantly, how to avoid doing some stupid unproductive stuff. I got 5 good hours of good information to put to use. My church done went and did the wrong thing and streamed it over the internet (which is really a good thing- but it's a WILD thing to actually watch church over the internet because we didn't feel like going- lol), but I actually went up to the church on only 3 nights of the conference and caught the internet stream the other 2 nights.

So, I had a basic plan for myself in place, and I was actually motivated to pray.

Now, I tend to pray here and there during the day, if I am alone. This has been a natural habit of mine for years, but not for no hour straight through. I'm good with my minutes here, minutes there. So I thought that would be my biggest challenge.

But I found that the prayer time has been the easiest part. Something's on my mind every day, and people around me have their issues. There's stuff on my mind that has been bothering me for YEARS that I really need to pray about or at least pray for the courage or desire to deal with them. There's stuff that I don't even know how to pray about. I just need to start talking and maybe something will happen.

I have a plethora of goals and dreams that I'm trying to muster up enough faith to tackle. Shoot, I can pray about that stuff alllll day long!

There's the economy, world isshas... my enemies.

Trust me, there's always something to pray about. ALWAYS.

I would say that I have clocked over 25 hours of prayer time total during this fast time.

I am ashamed to say, I don't think I've prayed that much, total, in the last year. Last few years, really.

Don't look at me with that tone of voice...


I don't know many people who make prayer a high priority. I mean, I've prayed about things, and I get answers. But for me, it has always been sporadically throughout the day, for mere minutes at a time. I get results, but sporadic is what it is: sporadic.

I've learned through this all that that must change. Really. It is highly crucial and highly imperative. And it changes now. THIS year.

It has made me realize that I need to be mindful of what should be a priority with me. And I must say, that I have REALLY enjoyed waking up and praying every morning. I look forward to it. I was NOT expecting that.

This is the first time in a long time that I don't wake up tired. Shoot, I don't even use an alarm clock. I wake up every morning between 4:30 and 6:00 a.m...

And I pray.

I would say that 80% of the time, I pray quietly, with no distractions. The rest of the time, I think I've crocheted. I don't know, but it seems as if crocheting and praying have some synergistic peace effect on me. But at the same time, I really don't want one associated with the other, so I have tried to stay away from that. (Does that make any sense?)

One time I folded some clothes while praying. I ain't doing that no more.

My complaining and whining has virtually evaporated into thin air. I'm not much of a complainer, but I realize I whine just like er' body do from time to time. Whenever I do, words of encouragement and edification come up in my heart. They give me peace and annihilate my fears (let's face it, that's what's really behind our whining and complaining).

My thought life is much better also.

And I realized yesterday, that I no longer feel any pain when I wake up. Now, how I missed that, I don't know. Much of that comes from being detoxed by this fasting. But that right there is a GOOD thang.

My day goes a lot better as a result. I still have my challenges. But I'm doing much better with my anger management, time management, and fear isshas. MUCH.

I am getting some great results, just from simply praying every morning. Man, there's some weird stuff going on, like things that I didn't think were important enough to be praying about, getting answered. And in a bizarre way. I'm talking, stuff that has me a bit shook up and in tears because I can't believe God got me on His mind like THAT. How on earth is this happening? WHY is it happening?

Bizarre.

*Lee raises hand and says "Alex, I'll take Bizarre for 200 dollars, please"*

No, I ain't hating on bizarre. Listen up... bizarre is cool with this Oldgirl right here!

Let's just say, uh-rah... the hour-a-day prayer in the morning is going to continue indefinitely. Just for the sense of personal peace it is bringing. That is going to continue.

Really though.

Now as for this seed thing, i.e., everything eaten must come from a seed...

That has proven to be more difficult.

Man, I have come to find out that I better have my meals planned. None of this "Oh, I won't pack lunch today, I'll just run out and get something!"

I better think about it before I leave the house in the morning. I better get it ALL together before I head off to work. It is a bit cumbersome, I must admit. All I know, I better make it do what it do.

With that said, variety is key. I've spent MUCH time in the natural foods stores as of late. I've come up with some interesting meals, lol. (That's a whole separate post).

But why on earth would we have a fast involving only consuming stuff that comes from a seed?

Because... it is to remind us that everything in life starts with a "seed".

Everything...

You don't believe me?

Hmmm...

Simple example, which I've used before.

What do you think about when you see, read, or hear the following word:

GREEN

I would guess you think about the color of grass, the color of money, even of it being your favorite color, perhaps.

I must say, I don't think of such things. For the past few years, I believe, I think something else when I see that word.

Let me throw another word with it.

GO GREEN

Those two words probably got you (and me) doing things we don't normally do. If not, just give it a little time. You WILL be doing some things different. Watch.

Those two words put together make up an interesting type of "seed".

Words are types of seeds, you see. Just look at your life and you will see what I mean.

I've said it before, I'll say it again (and during this past month, I've been waaaaaay more cognizant of it than ever)

Words produce thoughts…
Thoughts produce action…
Actions produce our destiny…

I have been thinking on this, especially with all the things that have happened over the past year...

And I do believe that was the whole point of this fast.

to be continued...

Wordless Wednesday: "Then and Now"

THEN





NOW

Monday Afternoon Ramblings...

Good Afta-noon, Party People!

The current temperatue in the ATL is 44 degrees. That ain't bad. That's better than that 13 degree craziness back around January 8th and 9th. Man, I thought it was the end of the world.

So, 44 degrees is a GOOD thang.

My weekend. I had a very good weekend. I actually had dinner with one of my favoritie bloggers, Terry. He decided to hop out of his Los Angeles Cheap Seats and come alllll the way over to the ATL to see your friendly neighborhood Oldgirl.

LOL!

Naw, he just happen to be in the ATL on bizness, and we hooked up. We had dinter at one of my favorite places, The Watershed. It was a bit difficult, since I'm not eating any meat, dairy or junk right now, but I am a MAVERICK, baby!! I didn't break down and get the grilled porkchop or the fried catfish that I LOVE so much. I had a veggie plate and a huge salad and some water. GO ME! I am a MAVERICK!

But I must tell you... Terry is a GREAT dude. Salt of the earth. He is good peoples, of the Celie variety! I tell you, he is a treasure chest of information. You DO NOT find that in people these days. Folks are shallow as HELL, and he is NOT one of them. It was great to be in his company, and the convo was amazing...

I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!!

*Lee falls prostrate on the hard concrete*

That has been one of the most important meetings of my year thus far. And I was happy for it.

So thanks, Terry, for hanging out. I know the man behind the Cheap Seats now! And yeah, you are all I thought you would be. I am blessed to have you in my corner:)

On Saturday, I attended another one of the Green Eyed Bandit's son's basketball games. They actually won the game. So, I am NOT a jinx. I had a good time, and I MAY attend one more!

And the Green Eyed Bandit didn't haul off and throw a shoe at the referee or anything. So it was a good day!

Sunday, I had a finance meeting with my Triple F (Financial Freedom Fighters) Posse. That was good. It always gets me motivated to handle my money right, and someone ALWAYS has a success story. ALWAYS.

I LOVE when people are doing good and meeting their goals. I really do!

Afterwards, me and my sister Kentucky went to the natural foods vegan store Sevenanda. That was a treat. There were a gazillion people up in there. It looked like Wal-mart on a Saturday afternoon.

I will have to write about this whole fasting thing... Uh, I have some stories to tell. LOL!!

Weird stuff. Keith has all kinds of widgets over on his blog. So I decided to entertain myself and play around with them.

Some of ya'll be complaining about how long winded I am. Hush up. I am terribly quiet in person, so all of what is stuck in my brain comes out on blog, lol.

But there was some site that calculates how long your blog posts are, or something like that. And here is the result.



Whatever!!! I don't agree with that! My posts aint THAT long.

Another one rates your blog:



My blog is NOT rated R. My blog is rated SMURFY.

Humph.

One last one:



I really don't know WHAT they're talking about there. That makes it seem like I be cussin up a fire and burning down forests over in these parts.

I do NOT bring out my Book of Cuss to often. HUMPH.

!%$@#!@!**!!!!!!!

Doggonit!

LOL!!

Well, I decided to let it go after that. It was all messing with my smurfiness.

Really though.

And if if ain't smurfy, it ain't right.

Well, let me get back to the work. The boss, the Darth Sista, is messing with an Oldgirl.

We have foolishness going on already, messing up my Monday. EVERYBODY is gone to D.C. for training. Our work group Super Hero Hen Dog is gone. The Cowgirl Cre is gone. Lieutennant Meek-Meek is gone. UGH.

They are gone all week. I am lonely. I have no one to talk to. I might get some work done, lol.

I'm surprised Darth Sista didn't hit me with the HARD football tackle when I walked through the door.

She has this knack for calling me at the very moment I walk into the cubicle area. I mean, just as my butt is about to make contact with my seat. She must have a hidden camera in my cubicle.

"LadyLee, did you get a chance to look at that data? It is laying right there on your desk. Do you see it? Do you see it sitting there?"

"Hold on, Darth Sista! Gimme a chance to sit down and get my head right. I gotta smoke a cigarette and drank a little of this liquor here before I peruse this here data. Just give me a minute, man. You know how I am on Mondays."

*Darth sista hits LadyLee with the hard sigh*

"Whatever, LadyLee," she moans. Then hangs up on me.

Yeah... it's gonna be THAT kind of week.

LOL!!!

Ya'll have a good week... on purpose!!

Auntie LadyLee

So...

I was at work in the lab, having a GOOD time working (yeah right).

When my cell phone rang.

It was my brother Kari, aka "Milk and Cookies", who's stationed up in Virginia.

"Hello?"
"Hey, Lee," he said.
"Wassup, man?"
"Just called to let you know that you're gonna be an Auntie."

*crickets*

"Really?"
"Yeah."
"How far along is she?"
"A few weeks. We just found out."

*crickets*

"Well, congratulations," I said.
"Thank you."
"Everything going alright with ya'll?"
"Yeah, everything's fine."
"Well that's good to hear."
"I got to make a few other calls," he said.
"Okay. Well, congratulations," I said again.

We said our goodbyes and hung up.

So, I am going to be an Auntie. Hmmm...

I must say, I am happy for him, since he and his wife have been wanting a baby. I hope the best for them, and that everything will be alright.

We haven't talked much as of late because of various disagreements a while back, but we do text each other from time to time.

While I was thinking about all this, I thought back to some discussions he, myself, and my sister had while standing around the kitchen island talking about family stuff. They both said how they didn't want children, because they didn't want a whiff of a chance of their child feeling the way we felt when we were growing up. It wasn't really worth it. I, who had the hardest time out of us all growing up, tried to convince them that that wouldn't be the case. I thought that they were good people and would be good parents.

I would have hated for the strain and memories of the past to taint their futures...

And just for that reason, I am glad for Milk and Cookies.

He can look past the past, and make his own future.

And that is a lesson that I am still trying to learn for myself.