In Remembrance of 911- 20 Years Later

20 years... 

It has been TWENTY years since what is considered to be one of the most tragic events in American history. 

And for the past few days, I have been thinking about it. 

I wrote a few years ago about the immense sense of unease and foreboding I felt for a time prior to the event. I won't rehash my thoughts here (click here for old post regarding it), but what made it so complex is that I had taken a flight two days before the tragedy. I remember feeling awful inside, but the issue wasn't me flying anywhere. 

Then the event happened. And I understood. 

And here I stand some 20 years later. I woke up this morning and did my usual things. I spent about 20 minutes praying about a few things, and about the day in general. I got dressed and walked 2.5 miles. 

And I thought back to the day of the tragedy. And I thought about how I just didn't know that day that I would be where I am 20 years from then, right now. Only God knows. I was thankful for Him keeping me and never forsaking me. For showing grace through all my hard and complicated spaces. 

Over the years, I have said how shocked I have been that we have not had more terror attacks. I am thankful for that. We have had so many more tragedies over the years, some of which we have become desensitized to. But the gravity of such a sudden terror attack, one that changed our security measures forever... wow... I am just stunned that this hasn't occurred more often. 

It is so hard to stave off the fear of what tomorrow brings, the fear of the unknown. 

Tomorrow isn't promise. Neither is the rest of the day.

Today I pray for the comfort of those who lost loved ones on that fateful day. 

Today I pray for all of us that live with the memories, the residual effects of that day. 

And I am thankful for we have not experienced that level of tragedy in the last 20 years. 

And let's hope we never will again. 

Happy Labor Day 2021

Summer was here. 

And now summer is over. Well, not officially. But may as well be.

Happy Labor Day! 

And this is a time of musing for me. For there are only 4 months left in the year... 4 months to get all the goals I had swirling in my head out into the open, and magically attain them all. 

I say that every year.  And my only big goal for the year has to be to withstand the pandemic, to stay clear of the virus and to stay alive. 

And it's bad that we are STILL in this situation. Then mix into the pot horrific fires out west and hurricane ravaged states, and well.. it's a doozy. That's all I can say about that. 

I have to admit that I am anxious, that I have quite a bit of anxiety. This is fueled by constantly peering at the news programs, wishing for, hoping for, praying for... anything, anything positive. I'm waiting for someone to say "It's all over. We return to our regular scheduled programming. We return to our regularly scheduled life."

We return to our regularly scheduled life.

That is my goal for the year. 

I have been working from home for close to 19 months. I have had some good days, but right now, my days aren't the best (when it comes to work productivity, that is), and my eyes are glazing over.  Part of me wants to just take a leave of absence until this whole pandemic thing is over. But that is just wishful thinking. I pretty much expressed to my boss that I wanted to just take one day a week off, just to eat up some of my vacation time. I have about 4 to 5 weeks over what I can carry over to next year, and I just need to eat that up... even though I am not going on vacation. 

To ease my anxieties, and to shutter my weary glances at the constant rush of fear-based news flooding my television screens, I crochet.  I write. I busy myself with little projects around the house- cleaning out closets, cleaning out the garage, etc. 

But mostly, I crochet. 

Here is a recent crochet project completed in August.

The name of it is "Minty Dreams".

That beauty was for a 12-year -old girl's birthday. It doesn't photograph well, but the colors are minty green and pale plum. They are the girl's favorite colors. In fact, her mother said that they are every little girl's favorite colors. I did not believe this. So I asked a 9-year-old girl who lives across the street from me what her favorite color were. And wouldn't you know it, she said purple and green. 

Hmm... what is it with these pastel hues of purple and green? 

I guess it is a girly-girl thing. I think it came out really nice, though. And I am going to make one for the little girl across the street since I have extra yarn. It will make a nice Christmas present. 

(It screams "Happy Easter!" to me, though. LOL)

I think she will like it. 

And making it will ease my anxiety. 

And that is all I can hope and pray for on this Labor Day 2021. 

Ten Thursday Thoughts

 My oh my... Ten Thoughts on a Thursday!

1. It has been such a long time since I have been on here. Oh yes, I come on here to pull pictures and look for old information. That's what is great about it and why I should keep it going. If only for myself, really.

2. I have been teleworking since March 2020. That makes 16 MONTHS and some change. That is a long time. 

3. One huge regret I have had during this time: that I didn't make some major goals and plans for this 16 months. I could have started a business, etc. Something. But my thing is... I thought we were just going to be home for 2 weeks. It took me about 8-10 months to get that out of my head. 

4. I gained about 20-25 pounds during these Covid days. I developed diabetes. I developed an arthritis problem. All from sitting still, and going from 10,000 steps a day to around 1500-2000 steps a day. Sigh.

5. But the good news is that, as of today, I have lost approximately 50-54 pounds (tends to fluctuate). I average around 7000 steps per day. And I can walk up hills and walk over 2 miles without half passing out. I am getting stronger each and every day. Diabetes has reversed. Arthritis is still there, but not as bad. So I am doing better and getting better. 

6. One thing I have missed during this time is much time with family and friends. I tend to be a loner at most, but it is still hard just dealing all this time alone. I am very thankful for technology, and for porch visits. 

7. Work has been so-so. I guess I am doing good because I get good work reviews and good bonuses. But I am sitting here alone with my thoughts. I am a chemist, and I need a laboratory. 

8. I have written approximately 40 short stories/micro fiction/flash fiction during this time. And I have almost completed a short novel. I am giving the short novel to a friend for her birthday. So that is due on August 29th, a month from now. That gives me a month to re-read it and do some editing. 

9. My favorite food to eat during all this time: chicken wings. I am a chicken wing FIEND. I eat them at least five days a week. And right now, there is a chicken wing shortage. Sigh. So I get them where I can!

10. I will probably post more now, as I would have had to do all this from my phone. I found I hate typing on my phone. Well, texting is fine, but writing anything long on my phone is for the birds! Ugh. 

Well that is it for my ten Thursday thoughts. 

That felt good! Gonna do it again... and again!

Summer is Coming

Summer is nigh.

Got me eyeing my summer goals like...

Rest in Peace, DMX