Jury Duty Blues... A Diva in Distress

Poor Kay.

Poor, Poor Kay...

My 24-year-old sister Kay just recently got over her Lemonade diet blues...

And last week, she had jury duty blues...

I remember when she first told me she had jury duty...

"Lee, I have jury duty!"
I cringed.
"What?" she asked...
"Girl, you better take something to do!!"
"Why?"
"Because they gonna have you sitting around all day. Take some puzzle books, a novel... something!"
She looked at me thoughtfully. "You think I can paint my nails while I am there?"

Oh God... I thought to myself. You are such a freakin' Diva...

I told her about my jury duty back in September 2004. It was the first, and hopefully the last, time I'd had jury duty. I was so excited about the whole thing. Even though it was September, I walked around and visited with all my co-workers, wishing them a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Easter, because I just knew that I was gonna get on a BIG time crime case that would take up months and months of my time. I was just so excited about getting away from my job for a long period of time...

I was so wrong. I didn't even get picked. As a matter of fact, I didn't even make it past the large jury pool room... I sat in the room from 8:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. (with an hour long lunch break). It felt like I was being held against my will or something, just sitting there ALL day. Not to mention that I have the attention span of a damn flea. My puzzle books and novels only held my attention for three or four hours...

So when they told us (there were twenty people left in the jury pool room; there had been about 150 that morning) that we were dismissed, we raced out of there like a herd of cattle. I'd never been so happy to run out of the courthouse and breathe Atlanta's smoggy air. It was almost like a scene from The Sound of Music...

Well, I conveyed all of this to my sister Kay... After our little talk, she grabbed her keys and headed straight for the Union City Wal-Mart. She returned with a delightful selection of puzzle books, etc.

Since I work in Midtown Atlanta, I told her that she could ride with me the next morning. We would drop her car off at the College Park MARTA station. Then I would drop her off downtown at the Fulton County Courthouse, and show her where the Five Points MARTA train station was located. This is the usual deal when Kay has to go somewhere new. Unlike our brother and myself, she loathes trying to drive somewhere unfamiliar. Such a diva...

I drove her past the house I'm buying downtown, just so she could see the progress, then we headed for the courthouse...

"Lee, do they have cans of air freshener spray in the bathroom?"
"What?!" I yelled, a little too loudly.
"I gotta use the bathroom," she replied.
I shook my head. "Why didn't you go before we left home?"
"I didn't have to go then," she replied...

Diva, Diva, Diva, I thought silently to myself.

Well, I dropped her off. I was at work, dredging through my boring day, when, at about 4:00 p.m., my cell phone rang. It was my sister Kay.

"I don't like this," she mumbled. "I'm tired."
"Girl, I tried to warn your butt! I told you to take something to do."
"Oh, I brought all my stuff with me. This is boring!" she whined.
I forgot that Kay too has the attention span of a flea...
"Just hang in there, girl," I encouraged...

Well, to make a long story short, Kay got chosen for an assault with a deadly weapon case. (She told me this when it was over). So for three days, she did her good citizen thang and served as a juror... And of course, we had a few more "diva in distress" conversations during this time...

She seem to be interested in her case, since it involved some dudes around her age. I was just hoping she wouldn't do the diva thing and walk out of the courtroom do to boredom...

She told me all about the case. I sat on the livingroom couch and listened. I didn't hear much of what she said though... It was kind of like the adults on The Peanuts cartoon show talking to me... Waah, Waah, Waah, Waah-Waah... That's all I heard, due to my flea-like attention span...

I'm just happy that she made it through...

And next time Kay??

Don't forget to carry a travel-size can of air freshener with you!!!

I Miss My Lil' Brotha Da'Kari!!!

I miss my brother Da'Kari, a.k.a,"Ralph"...

He's in Basic Training right now...

He ran off and joined the doggone United States Army straight out of high school. He was only seventeen at the time. I have no damn idea what on earth possessed our Mama to just sign him over to Uncle Sam like that. It really pissed me off something terrible.

But you know how mothers can be with their sons... Still I don't know what substance she was smoking when she signed the papers for him to join.

For some reason, he has wanted to go into the military since he was a little boy. I told him last year, "Your tax money is supporting this war, and that's enough!!!You can join the damn military when President Bush allows Jenna and Barbara [Bush's twin daughters] to join!!" (Hell will freeze over before that happens, right?) I thought that was the end of the conversation. Apparently it wasn't.

He came over to my house one Sunday morning (in the month of April, I think), as he always does so that we could go to Church together. He asked me if I would help him with some stuff for the ASVAB. I looked at him like he was crazy. He said he needed help because he wanted to join the Army.

He said it would make a man out of him...

I just wanted to grab him and shake some sense into him. I was pissed...

Right after he told me that, I went into my bedroom, shed a couple of tears, and then called my friend and co-worker Hen-Dog on the phone. Hen-Dog had been in the military. Maybe Hen-Dog could talk him out of this insane idea of going into the army...

I didn't say much to Da'Kari that morning, for fear of breaking out crying and wailing beyond control... I wouldn't even look him directly in the eyes. We went to Hen-Dog's house after Church, and I sat and listened to Da'Kari and Hen-Dog talk for an hour. After listening in on their discussion, I got a small amount of understanding of why he wanted to join the army.

I obtained a little understanding, but I still don't accept it... Not one bit...

I thought Da'Kari and I had an understanding. He asked if he could come live with me. He was going to live with me, once I bought my house. He would have his own room, and he would not have to give me any rent. He had already been accepted into the Aviation Mechanics program at Atlanta Area Tech. He would pay for school with his Hope Scholarship. (I was going to buy his tools, or whatever else he needed.) He had a nice little job at Red Lobster. I just wanted him to work and go to school and not have to worry about rent, bills etc. (My sister Kay has latched on to this idea REAL tight!). I just wanted him to save up his money so he could go out and get his own home, etc., without having to struggle like I did at that age. I wasn't trying to be controlling or anything. But I just wish I had the oppportunity to stay somewhere rent free and have a few years to pay off any school debt, or go to school without having to work two jobs, or even to save up a little money so that I could go get the car I wanted, etc....

I mean, I REALLY thought we had it all planned out...

I guess I was wrong...

Like I said earlier, I have gone through so many many emotions: rage, sadness, fear...

But most of all, I feel like a failure... Let's not even talk about the guilt I feel when people accuse me of not doing anything to stop him from going into the army.

I feel like I have failed him. If only I could have been making more money, married somebody making good money or had a better job, or something. If only I could have been doing SOMETHING more useful for myself so I could help him a little more...

Maybe he wouldn't have had to sell his damn soul to Uncle Sam...

I really don't want him laying in a foxhole over in Iraq dodging bombs and bullets, wondering why nobody stopped him from making such a stupid decision.

I went down to Fort Gilliem and sat with him a few hours before he shipped off for basic training. I grabbed him tight, and cried into his neck right before he got on the bus for basic training and told him I was so sorry that he felt like this was his only alternative in life. I was so sorry that he had to make this choice, and that I didn't do more for him...

He didn't say anything. Just ran to the bus...

So I haven't seen him in three months. And what's worse, he has to repeat his basic training due to a knee injury. So I won't see him until the holidays, I guess...

But I do get a call from him every week...

And there's nothing like picking up the phone on Sunday afternoons and hearing him scream...

"Hey, Shawty!!!!"

So, Da'Kari, aka, Ralph, I just wanted to know that I love you and miss you. You were born when I was 17 years old, so you might as well be my child. It sure has felt like it, hasn't it, since our mama has a tendency to do her own "thang", and move to the beat of her own drum (by the way, I heard she got rid of your stepdaddy --that drunk good-for-nothing IDIOT-- yeah I said it!!!--and you know I thought that was the real reason you joined the army!). You have been my running partner since I moved back to Atlanta from New Orleans four years ago, and I sure do miss riding around in your truck listening to the classic oldies (LOL!!) I miss our Playstation marathons, and our movie time. I just hope that you will be safe, and know that we are praying for you. I know it is your life and you must live it. And like I said, if you prayed about this and you have some peace in your heart about it, don't worry about what the rest of us say...

Just do your thizzle, shawty!!

So until then, your playstation controller is waiting for you. And I'll be right here waiting for you, so that I can whip your tail (as usual) in NBA 2K5 basketball.

I'll Holla!!!

Ladylee

I Miss Saturday Morning Cartoons :(

Wonder Twin Powers....

ACTIVATE!!!!!!


Just wanted to big up my favorite cartoon characters, Zan and Jayna, who appeared on the Cartoon series Superfriends in the late seventies...

And I'm sitting here, early on a Saturday morning, longing for the good ol' days, when I could watch good cartoons instead of the freakin' news on Saturday mornings!...

Geeezzz!!

Klepto Reloaded... Darth Sista T in Full Effect.

(Note: This piece is a continuation of the August 17, 2005 Post "Sister T...The workplace kleptomaniac)

A few days ago, I and my fellow co-workers, Cowgirl Cre, Hen-Dog, and Meek-Meek, were busy working away on product violations, but at the same time making desperate attempts at curbing our workplace boredom with a little "Color Puple" spelling game...

"Bogus!" Cowgirl Cre yelled. "Meek-Meek, spell the word Bogus!"
"Bogus: B-O-G-U-S, bogus" as in "This job is BOGUS".
"Good, Meek-Meek, that was real good," Cowgirl Cre screamed, a huge smile creasing her lips.
"Okay, okay," Meek-Meek chimed. "Hen-Dog, spell the word Low pay!"
"Low Pay: L-O-W-P-A-Y, low pay" as in "This job offers LOW PAY!"
"Get down, Hen-Dog, get down with your bad self," Meek-Meek yelled.
Hen-Dog did his usual victory dance.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh, I've got one, I've got one," I (Ladylee) screamed. "Cowgirl Cre, spell the word Klepto!"
Cowgirl Cre's huge smile melted into a frown. "Sista," she murmured. "S-I-S-T-A, Sista, as in Darth Sista T is standing right behind you!!!

As soon as those terrible words were uttered, Meek-Meek, Hen-Dog, and Cowgirl Cre scattered like cockroaches, leaving me sitting there peering over my shoulder at the ruthless Darth Sista T.

Funny. We didn't hear her coming. Usually, we hear the hard Darth Vader-like breathing (Haaaaawww... Haaaaawww) and the determined clicks of her high heels on the shiny hallway floors, but we were so engrossed in our game that we didn't see or hear her, or her vicious wrath, coming our way...

"Ladylee, I need your signature on this violation worksheet, right now!" she barked, her voice dark and sinister.
I frantically searched my desk for an ink pen.
"Here, use my pen," she suggested.
"No, thank you," I replied, my voice trembling. If it was an ink pen, I knew she had stolen it from someone, and as usual, I did not want to be caught with a stolen writing utensil.
"No, use it!" she demanded.

There was no way I could decline again. Afterall, Sister T would stretch her thumb and index finger towards me, and I would start choking from lack of air....

So I slowly reached for the ink pen and examined it closely. The pen was extraordinary, unlike any ink pen I'd ever seen in my entire life. It was an Itoya Xenon XE-100 Aqua Retractable Roller! The pen's barrel was a striking ocean blue, and it was equipped with a multi-ridged black rubber supergrip holder. It was mesmerizing.

Darth Sista T's eyes lit up like bright stars in the night when she saw my interest in it!

"That's the pen I stole from my husband, Brother J."

Gee, poor Brother J, I thought quietly to myself. That sad man's probably feverishly searching all over the house for his special ink pen. It's sad that kleptomania can affect even the immediate family. My heart goes out to him...

"Look how the ink comes out," she continued. "It almost writes like a felt pen, but not all sloppy. It's better than a ballpoint pen!"

I nodded my head slowly. I just wanted to sign the paperwork so she could go away, and take her heavy ass breathing with her. But here's the comment by Darth Sista T that stopped me cold:

"It's the bomb!!!"

Oh my! Was that a smile on her face? Was that perspiration on her brow? Was that drool escaping the corner of her mouth?

I quickly signed the paperwork, at which time she snatched the ink pen and the paperwork from my hand and quickly walked away.

She wields Itoya Xenon XE-100 pen like Wonder Woman wields her Magic Lasso. When she clicks the retract button, I swear it's just like how when Darth Vader readies his Light Saber for battle. She even lays it on her desk in a special way, perpendicular to the huge desk's edge.

Gee, I thought, maybe the kleptomania is over. Maybe we, Darth Sista T's employees, are free to carry our ink pens without fear of her snatching them and claiming them as her own!

GLORY! Free at last...

But alas, this is not the case. The other day, you see, Darth Sista T was signing paperwork over near Oldgirl Que's desk, when all of a sudden, she looked curiously at the cheap Bic Pen in her hand and said...

"Where did I get this pen from?"

Oldgirl Que and I looked away quickly. We also checked to make sure our own inkpens were secure.

We were afraid. We were very afraid.
Because we sadly and quickly realized, you see...

That we would never be safe from the ultimate ink pen bandit, Darth Sista T.

Finally...Someone Confronts the American Red Cross!!

Nope...

This is not a call for donations to the Red Cross. I know you, like me, are tired of seeing the Red Cross Logo and the call for donations everytime you pull up Amazon.com and every other web page.

Afterall, we all know that the Red Cross has a monoploy on donations...

But I must say, that I've been getting sick and tired of Atlanta television news broadcasting the fact that the American Red Cross is grossly disorganized. Some evacuees are not getting the help that they should be getting. Debit cards do not work. People are being turned away.

I went to Charity Navigator, a site which rates over 4000 charity organizations, and it turns out that the American Red Cross brought in over 3 billion dollars last year. That breaks down to over 100 million dollars a week.

That's a lot of bread. So what's the freaking problem??

But not a day goes by that I don't turn on the Atlanta news and hear some Red Cross spokesman whining and coming up with excuses for why they are so disorganized, why they can't get the debit cards working, why they can only help a few people, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

It was beginning to look to me like the Red Cross doesn't know its head from its ass...

Apparently one metropolitan politician, Dekalb County CEO Vernon Jones, felt the same way I do. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Vernon Jones kicked the American Red Cross out of Dekalb County. This particular center, the Panola Center, was one of three Red Cross Centers in the Atlanta Metropolitan area.

The Atlanta Journal-Constituion has a bee in its bonnet concerning Mr. Jones, and they tried to make it look like he basically shoved the poor, poor Red Cross out into the cold, and now they are not able to help people. (Almost made me want to pick up a violin and play a sad, sad tune...)

But as usual, when the AJC writes an article on Vernon Jones, he usually goes on a radio station that morning to clear up the AJC's slanted mess. So low and behold, I tuned my radio to V-103's Frank and Wanda morning show, and as expected Vernon Jones was explaining what happened. He basically said that he'd been receiving numerous complaints from evacuees about poor treatment by the American Red Cross. (Several evacuees called the radio station and told their Red Cross horror stories.) He accused them of being chaotic and disorganized, and urged them to automate their processes. He said that Tim English, the director of the center, would not even sit down with Dekalb County and discuss the issues. As a result, he told them they needed to step up to the plate and do a better job or make other arrangements. American Red Cross decided to leave the center and relocate elsewhere...

I'm just glad someone stepped up and said something. I expect for an organization that brings in over 100 million dollars a week to have a little organization about itself. Especially since smaller organizations like the Salvation Army, Hosea Williams Feed the Hungry and Homeless Foundation, and Heal the Hood are doing such a good job with giving aid and assistanceto evacuees. Even many of the local Churches are doing a great job.

But the American Red Cross, which is better financed and more established, should be leading the pack.

Personally though, I think the Red Cross should hire a staff, especially in times of crisis like these, since they can't seem to find enough volunteers. Maybe they can even disperse some money to these smaller organizations that seem to be finding a way to get the job done. Or maybe they should just stick to taking care of blood donations....

Just my personal opinion. They won't see a dime from me until they get it right.