Monday Food for Thought: Knowing Your Options

I came across this information a few weeks ago. It was part of a sermon on dealing with conflict and difficult people. I wrote it down on the back of an envelope, so it's a tad bit cryptic, but I thought it was interesting.

What to do when dealing with difficult people (conflict resolution):

1. Demand that THEY grow up. Sometimes you are dealing with immature people. Hallmarks of immaturity are selfishness and egocentricity.

2. Demand of YOURSELF that you grow up. A major part of this is that you learn to pick and choose your battles wisely. Do not waste your time arguing and fighting battles unless they threaten your destiny or personal convictions.

3. Demand that THEY move on.

4. Demand of YOURSELF that you move.

The bottom line is that you always have options.


My thoughts on this...

I like that last line:

The bottom line is that you always have options.

And I don't know if people understand that. I myself didn't understand that until I hit my 30s. Up until then there was always this goal of being accepted by people. I am the direct opposite these days: I only want genuine relationships... or nothing at all. Take the drama and conflict somewhere else.

It's alright for me to feel that way.

Afterall... There are 7 billion people walking this earth. I only need a decent handful in my life. I know I can't please everyone. And everyone can't please me. I accept that.

The points above resonated with me. They point to the fact that I have options. I don't have to be held emotionally hostage by anyone. And no one should be held emotionally hostage by me.

In any case, it points to the issue of things having to change. I know people who have been in conflict with the same folks for some 30 to 40 years... most of their lives, really. 

That's a long long time. A long time to be going through mess with people. Part of me admires people that can continuously go through a lot. Even though they are exasperated, they are long suffering. I just don't have that character trait, man. I am a champion of #4... I demand of myself that I move on. Period.  Now, I spend a lot of time thinking about whether I am being selfish or wrong. And if I can't figure it out, I move on.

But I thought that was interesting. I wanted to post that, just in case I lose my handy envelope.

You have to admit that any of the above options go a long way to resolving conflict.

Friday Freestyles.

My goodness.

TGIF!

GLORY!

AND it's PAYDAY!!

GLORY again!

And can you believe it is March already? 16% of the year is gone. Soon we will be hollering "Merry Christmas!" LOL

March means spring to me. I am wondering why it is so doggone cold outside. It's 40 degrees and the wind is whipping something awful. And if it's not cold, it's raining. I am waiting for the March Sun. That is all.

And this is the doom and gloom day... Sequestration starts today. I am a government employee, and we have gotten very vague emails.  But you know what? I refuse to worry about it. Congress ain't worried about. I won't worry about it either. I am going to be happy. Period. And have a good day. Humph.

I haven't been in the mood to post much this week. Why? Because I want to do a lot of Food for thought posts. I need to leave that alone right now. I've been a bit too busy this week, more than normal. So I need to save that for later.

Crafts and Cookies. Anyway, I wanted to post up some cards I made.

That one is for Southern Black Gal. She won the birthday sweepstakes. Too bad I spelled her name
 wrong. :(

Here's another for one of my favorite readers!

Thank goodness I spelled her name right.

I owed her a tin of cookies. So I made some chocolate chip pecan cookies for her.

That was fun. I made the cards one morning before work. For some reason, it was therapeutic. I was VERY calm when I arrived at work that day, even happy. I have to do that more often.

Spell Well. So, something interesting happened in one of my cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre's WWF game.

Yes. My cubicle mate, the Cowgirl Cre beat the great WWF wordsmith expert Tayari Jones in a game. This doesn't happen. We had to snap a picture of the score to prove it happened.

Ya'll just don't understand... Tayari can REALLY spell very well. It is a time of celebration when she gets beat. Cre had been sitting there in her cubicle, all wide-eyed, showing me the score in the final moves.

"Girl, if you beat her, I'll call her. I sure will. I will call right up. And we'll talk to her!"

So Cre beat her. I thought that chick was gonna turn cartwheels. And I dialed Tayari up. She didn't answer, but she called right back. She is on tour right now (I can't keep up with her. Sigh). Goodness, we talked to her. You would've thought we'd won the lotto or something.

Cre was so happy that she went out for lunch instead of eating the sandwich she made for lunch.

Yes. We are nerdy, I know. But Cre found out that she too could spell well! LOL.

Movie of the Week. Limitless staring Bradley Cooper and Robert deNiro.

This movie is the BOMB. It appeals to the Dr. LadyLee side of me. I wish I would've seen it at the movies instead of on my kindle. But it is always good to find something decent on Netflix!

I'm not going to review it. It's about a little pill that, when you take it, your mental capacity becomes limitless.

If I could invent a pill like that... wow!

Great movie. Had me on the edge of sofa! And that Bradley Cooper is gorgeous! I never knew what all the fuss over him was about, but I'm a fan now. Wow!

Check that out!

Song of the Week. I REALLY like this song. I know it has to be close to 30 years old, but I heard it for the first time last month.

You are my Sunshine by Mtume.



Man. I really like that song. Yeah, I know I'm 30 years late, but that's all right. Still a good song.

That's it for Friday Freestyles. I don't have much planned for the weekend. I'm sort of trying to take it easy, since I am having some back problems. I hope to get out on Saturday, though. Pam needs an oil change, a headlight and some new windshield wipers. (Ain't nothing worse than driving in pouring down rain and the wiper is half off. Sigh). That will be my adventure for the weekend. Otherwise, I'm going to try to relax and take it easy... on purpose.

You have a good weekend!

Evolution of Mom Dancing... and More

This video has gone viral over the past couple of days. It is Jimmy Fallon and First Lady Michelle Obama doing a dancing skit. I think the video is too big for my blog, so go watch over on youtube if you like.



Very funny!

The President was featured last year on a segment on the show called "Slow Jam the News".



Too funny!!

I am glad they can relate to the average person... Maybe the Republicans can catch a clue. Sigh.

Tuesday Randoms

Oh my...

How did I let 2 days go by and neglect to post anything.

Sigh.

I have some long posts to do. They will take a little time, and uh... I don't feel like dealing with that this week.

So here are some randoms...

Oscars. Did you watch? I did. Ho-hum. I wanted Quevanghne Wallis to win, even though I knew she wouldn't. I told my boss (and everyone I know) that I would be taking off if she did. Yes sir.

I thought the host was okay. I guess you have to like that type of humor.

They need to cut the show short, though. I can't deal with this midnight finish. I have to be at work the following morning. I think I even dozed off a few times!

Work. Work is going well. BUSY week last week. I like it when it's like that because my day goes by SUPER fast.

Anyway, I rarely prep samples, but we are going through some strange pilot program and I have to do my stuff from start to finish. Sigh. Oh well. This week's sample was nectarines.

Those are beautiful. It reminds me of last summer. I had a strange nectarine craving all summer long. Just odd.

Anyway, I had to peel off the stickers and cut out the pit, and grind those up. This is cool, since it's just a small amount (but I always holler when I am assigned something - "Give me something with no stickers, sticks, limbs, seeds or pits!).

Like I said, it's cool when there is a small amount. When I get a whole case of those, though?

Let's just say it's gonna be a long afternoon. Very long.

Lunch. I have been bringing salads this week. Here's today's salad.

I just went slap crazy with the fresh cut strawberries, didn't I? Sheesh. What was I thinking last night when I made my lunch?

What's funny is that diced nectarines are under those strawberries. NO, I did not take that nectarine from the lab. I bought 2 nectarines at the Publix down the street from the job. Humph.

I also have my little cup of nuts and seeds.

That is a lot of salad. I will eat half for lunch, and the rest for dinner, I suppose.

I have a cup of fruit also.

That is a pound of fresh cut fruit from the deli section at the Farmer's market. Cantelope, strawberries, pineapple, and grapes.  I was too lazy to scoop out some and place it in a little container. I just brought the whole thing to work. I guess I will leave that in the fridge, and hope none of these shady folks steal it.

Dessert: oreo cheescake.

That's that good stuff, from Southern Sweets Bakery. I found that place a few years ago while running around with my favorite author Tayari Jones looking for a cake on Christmas Eve. One slice of anything from there is enough for 4 people. You can't beat that.

I pressed a piece of my slice into a plastic container.  I may not eat that. I may have to kick in and eat this busted banana.

Or maybe not.

That banana might don't make it too much longer. LOL!

Too much fruit going on today. Ugh. Gotta balance all that out some!

That's it for me today. I will try to post something tomorrow. Not sure how that's gonna work out.

You have a good week. On purpose.

Happiness

The roving reporter stuck a microphone in her face, and asked the question he’d been asking of everyone on the corner that night.

“Did you see the killer? Did you see who shot Boo Johnson?” he asked the woman leaning against the stop sign with her arms crossed.

She stared the handsome reporter up and down.

Then she looked into the camera.  “My name is Cinnamon. Cinnamon Sugar."

The reporter cracked a smile, the same smile most men had when she uttered her professional name.

“Ma’am, did you see who shot Boo Johnson?

Cinnamon Sugar stared back into the camera. “Some say you can’t buy happiness. We beg to differ.”

“Is that so?” the reporter said.

Cinnamon Sugar nodded. “I don’t know who shot Boo Johnson, but I’m just telling you our motto: Some say you can’t buy hapineess. We beg to differ.”

The reporter stared blankly.

“For happiness is between my legs. Happiness is me down on my knees. Some say you can't buy happiness. We beg to differ. You see, we aim to please.”

The reporter yelled “Cut” and walked off to someone who had something more useful to say.

What she said was good.

What she said was right.

She wanted to let the city know what was going on in her neighborhood.

Happiness.




From September 2010 Women of Color Writing Workshop.

5 minute writing prompt. Draw a magazine clipping out of the basket and use it as subject matter for a story.

My magazine clipping was "Some say you can't buy happiness. We beg to differ"

That had me a little O_o. But I think I did okay on the spot in 5 minutes. This little vignette prompted a full character sketch of Cinnamon Sugar, who is a character in my manuscript Always Watching.