Welcome to 2023!

Look at this steak. 

 

How beautiful is that steak? It has to be the most beautifullest steak I have ever seen. (Is "beautifullest" a word? Not sure.)

But it is lovely. And look at those sauces. I can't even tell you what they are. I recognize one of them as an herb butter of some sort? Anyway, they all look delicious. 

I saw this on Facebook, posted by an foodie influencer named Chimetime. 

He also posted the receipt.

$1000!!

 $1000 for a steak!

GLORY!!!

Welcome to 2023!

Is this how we're living in 2023! 

Man. Now I have seen Tomahawk steaks for $100 dollars or more. But I looked into it, and this seems to be that special Wagyu steak. That is top of the line. 

That steak was not cut from a City of Atlanta cow. Nope. 

So say I go ahead could splurge on a steak this expensive. I am lost with the gratuity. The tax is crazy too. Almost $300 in tax and gratuity. I think that would mess it up for me. 

But, this has to be a DREAM for a true foodie. To be able to say you had a $1000 steak is definitely an accomplishment. And it better be the greatest steak ever made, because this particular foodie will tell it like it is! But that is something else. 

I myself would've left off the bread and bottled water. That's an extra $20. But wait, might as well buy the bread and water if you can afford a $1000 steak, right?

I wonder what the ubereats total would be? I wonder if the steak would even make it to my front door?

LOL

I told my friend if she hears me talking about how I had this steak, she should know that I ran out on the bill.  Time that waitress delivers that bill and disappears, I'm dipping out!

And this fine steak is a reminder of how good people are living. I know this has to be the regular for some wealthy folks, where $1000 is the same as $10. And this must be a good price point and in demand because it wouldn't be that expensive.

Enjoy that $1000 steak, brother. I can't wait for the steak review! 

For that price, it better be beyond fantastic!

Wednesday Funnies

I got a blessing today!

Someone left some grapes on my desk. Only they weren't grapes. They were muscadines.

I hollered, "I don't like muscadines, but these right here are free and they're a blessing! They are good!"

*ladylee chewing on fruit and spitting our hulls and seeds*

(Oh, and check out my screensaver. LOL)

Monday Funnies

You have to admit, tho... That's pretty much what's going on...

Monday Funnies

So when I first saw this picture on Facebook, I thought it was a stripper working the pole and men throwing money at her...

And this was a depiction of a child's view of her mother's job and desiring to be like her. Hmm.

Thanks for the patient explanation, you dear Mother.

Thank you very much... because you know the teachers had to be whispering about you in the teacher lounge, lol.

Trips to the Corner Stores of Old

I saw this on facebook...

I immediately understood it. 

You have to be 40 or older to understand this letter, for that's when it's alright for grown folks to send kids to the corner store to get their smokes and libations.

Try that now and we will see you on the news... before they carry you off to jail.

Mice Tales, Part II

Click here for Mice Tales, Part I

Last week, I posted about a problem I had with mice some 20 years ago while living in a neighborhood less than a mile from my current residence. Thankfully, I haven't had any problems since then. But my best friend had a problem.

This wouldn't normally bother me, but it did this day. This had to be some 13 years ago. I was living in New Orleans at the time, and I would come home to Atlanta, a six hour drive away, to visit during time off. And during this time, I would sleep over at different friends houses just so I could get to hang out with everyone.

This one particular evening, the evening before I was to return to New Orleans, I'd planned on spending the night with my best friend LadyTee. I arrived at her place pretty late in the evening, around 10 at night. She'd already had the sofa made up for me, and we were sitting up watching television and talking.

"Uh, we saw a mouse in the kitchen last night," LadyTee said.
"What?!"
"A mouse."

And she went on to describe what happened. I think she cut on the light and there it was staring at her.

I immediately shuddered, thinking about my run-ins with the mice in my old place. "I can't stay here. Not with no mice."
"It's alright," she said. "I'm just letting you know, just in case you hear something."

O_O

"And I ain't worried about it. I got a trick for his ass."

I don't know what she meant. I didn't even ask, because I was sure I didn't want to know.

I decided instead to get up and go get some of those humane mouse traps that were useful in my own mouse issues. So I left her house and headed for the local Wal-mart. She lived in a neighborhood in the southern suburbs, and it's really dark out there with lots of woods. I had to take back roads to get to the Wal-mart.

And that's when I was spotted by the police.

I noticed in my rear view mirror that a cop was following me. He didn't have his lights on but he was following me.

Eventually he turned his lights on.

Do you think I stopped?

Nope. Not on no dark back roads. I am not a black male, but I'm still black. And one thing you don't do, especially in Georgia, is stop for the police in remote areas. He could've been a fake cop. Or worse, a dirty cop. I wanted no parts of that.

So I slowed way down. And I didn't stop until I reached the Wal-mart parking lot. Up near the front entrance.

The cop walked to my car, hand on his holstered gun. I let down my window.

"You didn't stop back there," he said.

"No I didn't. I was looking for a well lighted area. Sorry."

"You have out of state plates," he said. "Texas."

"That is because this is a rental car."

"Did you dump trash back there on the back road? Some trash bags."

I just looked at him. There was NO way I was going to be jumping out of my car dumping trash on a back road. No way.

"No I did not," I replied.

"We just had a report of someone dumping trash," he said. "That's why I stopped you."

"Sir," I said. "My friend has a mouse in the house. I was just coming up to Wal-Mart to get some mouse traps and some peanut butter. I am spending the night at her house, and I need to leave early in the morning. I just want to get some sleep without having to worry about a mouse."

He just stared at me.

"That's all I was trying to do," I said.

With that, he told me to have a good evening. I think he could see the fright in my eyes. This Oldgirl was not out illegally dumping trash. This Oldgirl was afraid of a mouse.

I bought the traps and we set them up. I still slept pretty light that evening.

Nothing was caught in the traps. Not sure how I felt about that. All I know I was getting away from there and making the drive back to New Orleans. I hoped she worked it all out.

A few days later I talked to LadyTee. "Did you catch that mouse? He still roaming around?"

"No babes," she said. "I think we got rid of it. I came up with a foolproof method."

"How?"

"This is what I did," she said. "I bought a can of beef stew. Then I mixed in some of that D-Con rat poison.

And then I put it in an aluminum pie plate and placed in the back yard, way back there by all them bushes over by the fence."

"Alright," I said. I had no idea where she was going with that.

"Then I went on back to house and went to bed."

"Uh, alright," I said again.

"When I woke up the next morning, I looked out the kitchen window, and that pie plate was gleaming in the sunlight.  Sun was just reflecting off it. Those mice and rats had licked the plate clean."

"What?"

"Yeah, girl," she continued. "I fixed them rodents. Teach 'em not to mess with me."

"Uh, but, what if a dog or cat got hold of that stew," I asked.

"That's not my problem," she said. "Dog or cat shouldn't have been in my yard. I'm trying to kill some mice here. They should've stayed out of my yard."

O_o.

Her unorthodox methods seem to work.  She didn't have any more mice problems for the couple of years she lived in that house.

We still talk about that 'til this day, the aluminum pie pan licked clean and gleaming in the morning sunlight. It was sort of a badge of honor for LadyTee. She is still proud of her ingenious master plan.

I just found it funny.

I'm not sure I would do the same. Too many stray cats running around my house.

I will let the cats do the dirty work of catching the mice.

That's one heck of a mouse tale.

I am so glad I don't have many to tell. 

Evolution of Mom Dancing... and More

This video has gone viral over the past couple of days. It is Jimmy Fallon and First Lady Michelle Obama doing a dancing skit. I think the video is too big for my blog, so go watch over on youtube if you like.



Very funny!

The President was featured last year on a segment on the show called "Slow Jam the News".



Too funny!!

I am glad they can relate to the average person... Maybe the Republicans can catch a clue. Sigh.

Saturday. The "Special" Edition.

I want to talk about Saturday.

Yeah, yeah, I am just now posting about my Saturday.

Saturday was GREAT! I went and hung out with my Play Mama Adrienne, one state over. She lives one state over from me, you see...

She lives a stone's throw away!

Her city parade was last Saturday.

A couple of weeks ago, she was telling me about it, and I hollered "Hey, I wanna come down there! I wanna go!"

She said cool.

Okay, parade starts around 11:00. That is cool. Means I could leave the ATL around 9 and make it that way.

But uh... her child was in the parade. And had to be on sight at 8:30. And the roads close at 9.

O_O

This meant that I had to be there by at least 8. Which meant I needed to leave the ATL around 6 in the morning.

O_O

Under the cover of DARKNESS.

Man... 6 in the morning... around that time, I am just waking up in the morning, staggering towards the bathroom.

LOL.

I woke up around 4, laid in the bed til 4:30, went and took a shower, got dressed, and watched TV and loaded up the car.

(Anyone who I hook up with from the internet... uh, I come with plenty gifts and stuff. That is all.)

I had bought her a bunch of stuff from the Farmer's market. A quiche (which she had never had before), a lasagna, a chicken pot pie, plenty of bread, some cheese).

I brought GROCERIES!

(CowgirlCre and I went farmer's market shopping on Friday evening. I know she was a bit confused about the meat products in my buggy. "That ain't mine, that's Adrienne's!" I was quick to holler).

So I headed out at 6, and headed down to her country town.

The drive went well. I ate a banana and some peppermint candy. I listened to a homemade gospel CD.

I think the most amazing thing was seeing the sunrise in my rearview window. Amazing!

Anyway, I got down there. Played with the cat and dog. Talked plenty trash to the children...



Her middle girl Kayla twirls the baton and was gonna be in the parade.

"Kayla, I want you to light the ends of the baton on fire, girl. And throw it up in the sky!"

LOL. I think they know to ignore me by now... I am sure their mama has told them that LadyLee is... special.

Anyway,we headed to Adrienne's Mama and 'em house to pick up her Mama, and headed out to the parade.

We had an hour and a half to spare... so we sat in the truck and talked. Her mother and I sang white people's Christmas songs that were playing on the radio (which left poor Adrienne a bit disturbed... she just mad she can't sang like us. That's all that is. Jelous chicken!).

I also taught a science lesson on the chemical in purple fruits and vegetables that is very good for you, and why we must eat our purple vegetables. And the difference between a sweet potato and yam.

*crickets*

(What can I say? I am a geek, man.)

So, the parade was about to start. We had our game chairs, had our place staked out EARLY.

Interesting parade. There was this big deal about being ready to catch candy.

*more crickets*

It is sort of like the bead throwing at Mardi Gras. But with Candy.

I stood and watched this. Harrassed AJ (Adrienne's youngest son) about his candy catching strategy.

And I got a bit pissed that they weren't throwing Dove chocolates. Some good stuff.

(Let's just say: a gang of peppermint candy landed at my feet. I had to supress the urge to scream. And the urge to pick it all up and throw it back at the dude that tossed it).

I did happen to spot a few mini-snickers being tossed. I think that was as close to Dove candy as I got.

BUT...

They were tossing beads.

The little strands. I got my fill of those when I lived in New Orleans. But AJ happen to catch a handful of beads which contained a gold strand with beads the size of marbles!

I promptly took it from the boy.

That's them GOOD beads!

LOL

A gang of horses came by!

"Take a picture of the horses for CowgirlCre, girl," Adrienne said.

I was thinking to myself, uh, CowgirlCre got a horse. She don't care to see pictures of horses. But I took pictures anyway.




I showed the pics to CowgirlCre. She scooted over to my side of the cubicle, face full of glee. Her eyes were all glazed over. Strange. She really like horses.

Then there was SANTA! Up on top of a Fire Truck!


He was not exciting. Because he was not throwing beads and candy.

*lee turns back on Santa*

After the parade we went back over to Adrienne's parents house. I had been hollering about my brakes squeaking. Interestingly, when they took the wheels off, it looked fine. They said I might have a bad strut.


"So, uh... I can't do any Fast and Furious moves in my car, can I?"

"Uh, no," her brothers and Daddy said.

"Okay, as long as I get on back to Georgia, that's cool!"

LOL

I had such a GREAT time. I hated to leave. It crossed my mind to go on a mall trip with them, but the mall doesn't excite me, and I knew that running around the mall THEN trying to drive home... Uh, NERP!

She has such a nice family. Good good people!

Thanks for having me in your city, Play Mama! You as always made my day GREAT!!!

I hope to stop through again some day soon! :)

Kentucky Funnies, Part II" "Corn and Cheese"

My sister Kentucky continues to crack me up.

Every single time I talk to her.

Yesterday she called me about a problem she was having. We discussed it. We felt okay about the solutions.

Then we were talking about other things going on in our lives. I like to ask her about her hobbies, and how that is going.

She has a most interesting hobby: scouting out estate sales. She loves those things. I myself have only gone to one, back in 1991, back when I was in grad school. I bought a sofa, a rocker chair, a kitchen table, a couple chairs for that kitchen table and some plates for $75.

I kept that for about 4 years. So I know they are good places to find bargains.

And this has been my sister's hobby for the last couple of years.

And I celebrate it. She has had to hear my LOUD rants, when she tells me of how some of her friends don't approve of her hobby.

"Look here, gal," I holler. "If you decide to go outside and write "Kentucky" in black chalk up and down my driveway, so be it. If that's your hobby, be happy about it. Bump them chicks! I'ma be happy that you found something that you enjoyed doing!"

"Forget them!" I continue. "Their hobby is clubbing!! They just mad cuz you different!"

HUMPH!

I have an issue with people looking at someone else's hobby and giving them grief over it, and getting a funky attitude because you don't like to do what they like to do. I may not agree with it, this hobby of yours. (I will silently look at Kentucky like she crazy if she start writing on my driveway), but doggonit, do YOU. Enjoy yourself!

Just because I like something a little different from you, or different from the crowd, that doesn't make anything wrong with it.

*lee cartwheels down off of soapbox*

With that said, we had an interesting estate sale convo last night.

"Hey man," I said. "I need a leaf blower. You ever see those at the estate sales?"

"Yes," she said flatly.

"Well if you see one, can you get if for me?"

"Yes, I'll look out for one."

She goes on to talk about the website, estatesales.net, that she likes to go to to find estate sales in the area. She even likes and dislikes different companies that specialize in setting up and running the estate sales, and how she bases her choices of where she goes on who is running the sale.

"You can go to the webpage and look at the pictures," she said. "And if you see a leaf blower, go to that sale."

"For real? I think I will do that."

We continued discussing this. I loved the excitement in her voice.

"They sometimes have the kitchen groceries for sale, Lisa."

*lee silently holding the phone waiting for the punchline*

"They open up the cabinets," she continued when I didn't say anything, "or place everything on the counter, and you can look through them. You should see them white people. They go through everything."

"They sell the groceries!? For real?"

"Yes Lisa. I bought a can of corn for 10 cents one time."

*lee screaming with laughter*

"It was some good corn," she said. "I ate that corn."

"No way, man! No way!" I said through my laughter. Please tell me that you didn't eat corn bought at an estate sale."


"I sure did," she responded. "It was good corn. I even bought a can of cheese once. That was some good cheese."

*lee laughing XTRA hard. XTRA*

"What's so funny," she said. "You examine the can, and look at the expiration date. That was some good corn and cheese."

"If you say so, man! But ain't no way! Eww!"

Man. It crossed my mind to get my sister a grocery store gift card. I do NOT want her buying corn and cheese at an estate sale. I really don't. But I came to grips real fast that she was just meandering around like all the others looking for good deals, and lo and behold, corn and cheese were great deals.

She went on to say, "And Lisa, you have to go up in there with no emotion on your face at all. It's like you're buying a car. You have to negotiate."

*lee imagining her baby sister negotiating a deal for the cans of corn and cheese*

O_O

*crickets*

We continued talking. (Kentucky is a whiz at ignoring my animated ways. She ignored my laughing.) I need some furniture, and she gave me some tips on what to do.

The most expensive thing she's ever seen at an estate sale is a 10 piece setting of gold lined Presidential china. It was $10,000.

"I'll bust a sucka upside the head if they try to drink out of my cups and drop 'em," I said. "I sho' would!"

She thought that was funny.

"Kentucky, do they sell cars at these things?"

"Yes."

"Well look out for me a Lexus ES300, alright?"

"Okay."

And I'm sure my sister will be on the look out, and let me know if she sees one.

Yes, I am sure she will find me one...

Just like she found those cans of corn and cheese.