That's My Girl! That's the Homie!

Congratulations to the great Tayari Jones for her NAACP Image Award for best literature fiction for her novel American Marriage!

I had to watch it on the playback of Facebook Live, but when they called her name, I jumped up off the bed and hollered "YAY CELIE!! YAY CELIE!! That's my girl! That's the Homie! That's the Homie!!!"

('Bout scared my cats to death. They didn't know what the world was going on).

Look at her picture below. That must be the standard portrait that one takes with their award.

First, how FIRE is that dress?

Second, if I was her, I would have that picture blown WAY up and framed and placed on the wall. (I have been to her house a few times. You doggone best know I am going to offer my opinion of where it should go).

How awesome is this dress right here, though? WOW.

Man oh man. That is a nice dress. Fits her just right. GO GIRL! That's the homie right there!

I am so doggone proud of her. I fondly remember reading the rough drafts of American Marriage, and finishing up parts and dialing up her number. When she was slow to answer, I would hang up and repeatedly dial her up... until she answered.

"Celie, pick up this phone!" I'd squeal.
"I'm sorry, I was on the train, Nettie!" she would holler back.
"Oh, my bad, homie," I would say half apologetically. "But I'm sitting here saying 'This chick gonna answer this doggone phone!"

LOL

Fond memories!

And here we are now. Winning the awards. Get it girl! That's the homie!!

I can't wait for her to get back home to the ATL. She lives in my 'hood, so I am going to roll up on her. I'm gonna give her a hug and then ask to hold that award.

An award so well deserved!

Congratulations Tayari!!

Semi-Wordless Wednesday: I Wish I was There

Here's a photo of two great writers, Toni Morrison and Alice Walker.

From the look of those clothes and hairdos, I would think that photo was taken back in the mid- to late 70s.

I would have loved to be in on that discussion. WOW.

I can see myself now saying:

"Do ya'll want something to drink? Some Co-cola or water?"

"You want some coffee? You want cream or sugar with that?"

That is as much as I would say.

I'd rather just lean back against the counter with my own Co-Cola and soak up all that wisdom.

August Favorites, Part I

The month of August is coming to an end pretty fast.

And I have this thing about reflecting on the highlights of my month.

One of those highlights involved my FAVORITE author in the whole wide world, Tayari Jones.

Now if you haven't read this blog much over the last 9 years, you won't know of allll my stalker stan antics concerning this chick.  She is my favorite author and I have harassed her endlessly. These days, I actually consider her my friend. Or it may be that she just think I am plum crazy. And it might be good to keep an eye on "crazy". But I don't think that's the case. She is Celie. I am Nettie. And she has mentored me in my own writing. Over the years, I have called her up and asked her some questions and she will answer. Now, I will debate her down about it. But she's the creative writer (and she also teaches on the universtiy level)... alas, I take her advice and it is always right. Always.

But she is one of the silliest people I know. I been somewhere with her and she will "jone" on folk. And that is hilarious.

But back to my highlight...

I have stalked her something awful over the years for bits and pieces of something to read, as she is always writing something interesting. I remember a couple of Christmas' ago being down at her Ma and Pa house over in SWATS (if you haven't read that post, read it -Christmas Eve with my Favorite author- it is quite funny), and talking smack about her giving me something to read, and that day she actually let me read a couple of paragraphs on her cell phone. I remember having thoughts of running out the house with that phone so I could read everything.

But we are both SWATS (Southwest Atlanta) girls. There would have been a huge fight in the front yard. And no, we don't want that.

But I tell you, it is always a joy...

To be sitting at my computer, and a new email pops up and it is from her...

And the subject line reads "something to read".

There is always a moment of ...

*silence*

And I want to shout:

GLORY!!!!

But I don't. Because the cubicle area is very quiet for the most part, save for the sounds of the air handlers.

I just quietly forward the document to my kindle address. And I may read a few pages while sitting there at my desk. But I usually read around bed time.

And I remember thinking "My goodness, this is awesome. I have no one to read or discuss this with."

So I go into stalker mode...

And I blow up her text messages. I know her phone was vibrating so hard that it jumped off the table.

Then I might read something particularly disturbing and I just MUST voice my opinion on it.

So I CALL her.

*phone ringing*

"Wassup," Tayari says.

"Man, listen...," I say with a hard sigh.

And she allows me to go on and on and on... and she tries to explain. And I go on and on... and she tries to explain more.

Oh. joy.

It may not seem like a "happy" moment... but how often does one even sit and read a book, and then can dial up the writer of the book and ask questions (or cuss and vent.) 

I CAN.

And that makes me happy. 

So thanks Tayari for the 250 pages of pure loveliness. I enjoyed texting you my favorite lines from the draft. And it was great talking to you about the characters.  It was such a a joy.

Please send the remaining 100 pages when you finish.  Immediately when you finish. Don't wait around. Because I want to know what happens.

Don't forget about me...

Don't let me revert to stalker stan mode :)

Sweet Potato Cafe, Josephine, and Me

So...

If you've read here for any length of time, you KNOW I love a good book, and when I come across one I like, I will rant and rave about it.

And last summer, I read the book Solomon's Blues by Josephine Garner.

That's the first book I've read on my Kindle, then ordered the hard copy...

... Just so I could hold the book in my hand and smell the pages. And read my favorite passages again.

That's just how much I liked it. I even posted a review of Solomon's Blues.

Anyway, how did I find out about the book? Josephine and I were in a writing class together for 12 weeks last year. And when the instructor asked us to explain our writing experiences, Jo described her book and the sequel she was working on. I quickly scribbled the name of the novel in my notes.

I liked that book. 600 pages long, set back in the 1950s. Black and white relations. Awesome read.

And she and I have kept up with each other. She works at the agency across the way in my city. She works at the agency that folks from my agency look fondly upon... and wished that we worked there.

Hence, she comes up in my work email scroll which contains every government employment under our HHS agency umbrella. And I can email and stalk her however much I please. Really. (But I don't, lol. I check in for time to time).

We'd been wailing about getting together for lunch. She picked a day (Saturday, her writing day). And she was asking me to pick a place halfway between the two of us.

Man... I had no idea. But I remember seeing a little place on my GPS near her, and wondering what it was about. I even planned on seeking it out for a pre-class meal. (This didn't work out. It took me a good hour just to get to class. Humph).

And that place was The Sweet Potato Cafe.

Such a quaint little place, located in the shadow of Stone Mountain in Stone Mountain village. And I couldn't really figure out where it was on my GPS back when class was in. But come to find out it was maybe a block from my class. I wish I would've been more aggressive about finding it, because I was definitely missing out on something special.

(Jo said pick somewhere halfway between us. I am about 30 miles from her house. I picked this place which is a couple miles from her house. She was O_o. "That's not halfway!" LOL)

This is such a niche spot, as the selections are based on sweet potatoes, or contain some sweet potato side dish. Now, I really wanted to take LadyTee there for her birthday... but LadyTee said she doesn't like Sweet Potatoes (Gee, I never knew that during our over 30 years of friendship. Gee. She missing out, with her finicky self).

Back to the lunch with Jo...

I saw Jo walking there on the way, head held high, just enjoying the sunshine on her face. She lives about a mile away. I offered her a ride (We could see the Sweet Potato Cafe from my car). She declined. I imagined she likes to walk like some did in her book in the 1950s.

*ladylee speeds away and parks the car*

This place was so nice. Just right for a late lunch.

Jo had the turkey panini and sweet potato fries.

That looks good. I wanted to snatch one of her sweet potato fries. But that would be a bit ghetto. And Jo is very refined.

Anyway, we did share the sweet potato hummus.

As you could see, we'd already dug in before I remembered to take a picture.

That was some good hummus right there. Real good. Very light, light as air. Perfect take on hummus.
Jo talked about that when we were in class last year.

"That's some good hummus," I said as I dipped another warm toasted pita chip in the hummus.

"I told you," she said.

"I got me some hummus at home," I said. "I'm gonna boil a sweet potato and mix it in with my hummus I have. I wanna make some of this."

Jo shook her head. "Noooo. It won't taste the same."

Maybe she was right. If I took my hummus and mixed it with mashed sweet potato and it didn't taste exactly like the lovely concoction before me, I'd be highly upset.

I craned my head over towards the kitchen. "I wonder if they sell it. I wonder if I could get a container of it to take home."

I also thought about whether I had a container in my car. I am sure I had a random Solo cup in the car. I wondered how much she would charge to fill it up. Hmm.

But I quickly forgot about all this once my lunch came.

I am being mad strict on myself with mainly eating fruit and vegetables. So I zoned in on the vegetable based lunches.

I had the grilled vegetable soup.

Oooooh, that was so good. If the lights would have went out, I would've licked the bowl. Yes indeed.

And I had the Baked Sweet Potato with sauteed arugula and caramelized onions.

That combination... Who in the world would've thought to put arugula and onions with sweet potatoes?

But what a combination it was. It all balanced out REALLY well. The sweetness of the onions played against the bitterness of the arugula... all atop a perfectly backed sweet potato. Oh it was so good. And I love a good green salad. I didn't even need the butter (I don't have much of a taste or need for it these days since I have ditched the dairy). And the salad is just like I like... the nice baby spring greens.

What a good lunch. I was full without having need for a nap! LOL

There was much artwork around the place to admire.

I have no artwork on the wall. This makes me want to get some.

I wanted to take a picture of the restaurants interior, but there was a big group there. They finally left, and I got a good picture.

Just such a sweet nice little place. Lawd have Mercy, if I lived nearby I would worry them something aweful.

"Here comes LadyLee, yall... Marching up the road like Miss Sophia from The Color Purple."

And the owner, Chef Karen Patton, came out and chit chatted with us.

I really wanted to ask her, "Could I please work in the kitchen for a day? I would gladly work for free. And I would wash up the dishes."

While I'm washing the dishes, I could spy on her making that grilled vegetable soup.

And that sweet potato hummus.

But you know me. I didn't say all that. I just told her how much I enjoyed my meal.

I truly did.

And I enjoyed lunch with Jo.

"This is like having lunch with Oprah Winfrey!" I said, on more than one occasion.

"Stop saying that," she said.

Well it was. Maybe I won't say it anymore. It is so stalker-stannish. It is.

But I enjoy whenever we talk, which has been mostly on email. She has surely gotten an earful from my normally quiet self after class, when I would follow her outside and wail about some climax or point of angst in her book.

But I needed the pep talk about my own writing. I get a little bogged down and stuck with my editing and rewrites, and she is so encouraging. It is such a solitary experience and it has always been good for me to talk to another writer about my feelings. She truly understands the thought and care it takes to write something great. She gave me some great ideas on motivation. And I'm going to implement those ideas.

That was such a nice day. And a nice new place for lunch.

I need more of this. Good food. And good convo. Those things are priceless.

So I hope you have enjoyed my food week. I was looking through my camera and found more pics of places I've been, but I have ran out of time. Maybe they will be posted in the month of May.

The Sweet Potato Cafe was my favorite find, though. I'd never been to a Farm-to-Table establishment. I will definitely be returning!

With that... have a good weekend. On purpose!

Virtual Travels

As you know, I live vicariously through my favorite author Tayari Jones' travels.

Last month she was in France.

This month she was in Wyoming.

*crickets*

Now, how one goes from the beauty of France to the... beauty of Wyoming is beyond me.

And you know how crass I am...

I said "Whatchu doing up there, Celie? Ain't no black people in Wyoming!"

LOL.  I am sure there are some black folks up in Wyoming.  Not as many as it is in Georgia, though.

Anyway, she sends me a few pictures from time to time.

And of course, here are some from the great state of Wyoming!

I thought that picture was fake. That look like something off a sci-fi movie. We had a few words back and forth about it.

Here's another picture.

That is interesting. I don't remember ever seeing that array of sky colors before. Very nice.

And then there's this picture:

I don't like that picture. It looks like the start of a movie trailer...

"In a world, cold and desolate... only one woman can save the people."

Ugh, nope! Won't be going to Wyoming anytime soon! Nope!

I am still stuck on her best picture from France, from the French Riviera:

Yeah babes!  That scene right there looks better than "a desolate land".

Really though. I love that picture so much that it's my screen saver!

Thanks for the pictures, T! You know I love them all.

I STILL think you need to stop globetrotting and bring you tail on home to SWATS (Southwest Atlanta).

Vacationing in France

No, I'm not vacationing in France.

I am vacationing at home right now with a cold coming on, though.

But someone is sharing pictures of their French vacation with me. Just so I can feel like I am there.

My favorite writer, Tayari Jones, is skipping around France these days. She is having one fine vacation.

And she was the one to tell me the furlough was over.

"Furlough's over. You can go back to work now!"

I fussed about this. How the world did she know it was over, all the way over in France???

And I hadn't been watching the news. I suppose she had been watching or reading something. And they are 6 hours ahead of ATL over there.

Good looking out, girl!

She's been sending some lovely pictures my way, since I live vicariously through her travels. She is allowing to post the pictures.

And you know how I do... I'ma talk about these pics.

Here are her lovely accomodations.

Hmm. That is definitely NOT the United States. Oh how I am accustomed to the sleekness of the USA hotels. I would not be surprised if Heidi and Grandpa come walking up the hill behind Tayari.

(You have to be over 40 to get that).

And here is water from a fresh mountain spring.

Well. That does look refreshing.  But coming out of the rocks like that... I don't know, I'm just not there yet. Of course, nature's rocks are the best purifiers, but I need that stream of water collected and put through some reverse osmosis or special distillation process.

Really.

She seemed to be okay.

Drink on, girl. Drink on.

She said she climbed this edifice.

What is that, some castle ruins? What is that? That is definitely unlike anything I have seen before. It looks like King Arthur and his knights will be rushing around the corner on their horses of that place at any moment.

Run, girl! RUN!

And what did she mean by climbing it?  I asked her not to do dangerous stuff. No one can get to her to help her all the way over there.

Here is Tayari, basking in the sunlight, the tree covered mountains a backdrop in the distance.

I texted angrily about her sittting on that ledge. She needs to bring it in 10 feet. She needs to stop being dangerous.

And lo, Tayari found a big stick. She snatched it from the ground and she lifted it high in the air.

Again, I chastised her for standing to close to cliff edges. I need her to bring it in about 10 feet.

And I taunted her with texts of "I AM QUEEN TAYARI!!! RAAAAAH! RAAAAAAAAH!

Of course she wasn't thinking the same as I.

She was singing.  She texted back a familiar line...

 "Ain't no mountain high enough!"

You remember that old Diana Ross song from the seventies...



Had me singing (and texting)...

"Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaah!!! Oooooooh... Oooooooooh!"

Okay, you have to be over 40 to FULLY appreciate that song. And she and I are over 40.

And we like that song.

One last picture... and this is the best picture:

Wooooowww!  That right there is for all ya'll wine drinkers!

Look at the pretty blue water. Look at the rocky beach. That is awesome.

That's a post card or a book cover right there. Beautiful!

May I, LadyLee, go to the French Riviera? May I?

That's a good picture right there! WOW!!!

That one is live from the French Riviera!

Get down, Tayari! Get it, girl!!

So thanks for the pics, T!

She is always out traveling. Some of the places she tells me about, I don't even know where they are on the map. But she sounds so excited. She makes me want to go.

So safe travels, Oldgirl. Get on back to the good ol' U.S. of A.

Come home to SWATS (Southwest Atlanta). We some SWATS girls, babes. You can take the girl out of SWATS, but you can't take SWATS out the girl.

Bring your tail home!

Can't wait to see you!

Christmas Eve with my FAVORITE Author!

You know who my favorite author is, right?

And how much I like to stalker stan the cheese outta her, right?

LOL. I am not THAT bad. I am getting better.

I am not all that shellshocked when I see her these days. No wide-eyed starstruck ratcheness. None of that can't-barely-talk foolishness.

None of that.

I consider us friends. So I can talk to her any ol' kind of way, lol. And she is much accustomed to my laid back, ebonically inclined self. I'm not much of a phone person, but she is one of the few people I will call out of the blue. (As a matter of fact, I have a really good food-for-thought post coming up that came from one of our phone convos.)

So...

I knew she was in town for Christmas, and she always plans her days. I needed a 15 minute spot on the list. I haven't seen her since May, and that was at a book signing, so I wanted to see her.

I know she likes oatmeal chocolate chip pecan cookies, so I give her a batch when she is in town.

So I told her if I didn't get a chance to see her, I would drop them off at her mama and nem house over in SWATS. They live only 10 minutes away from me.

So here's her batch of cookies.

After MUCH arguing, I also made some oatmeal raisin walnut cookies too. The argument was over what to make for her mother. Tayari kept whining "Me and Daddy like the oatmeal chocolate chip!"

"Me and Daddy blah blah blah..."

*rolls eyes*

I got lost going over to her house, and when I got there, I almost didn't recognize her. She didn't have her usual twisted hairdo.

She had what she called her "Dianhn Carroll holiday hair". And she kept shaking her head, and flipping her hair with her hand.

This is what Dianhn Carroll holiday hair looks like.

I like it! And it had a bit of color to it! It reminds me of Dianhn Carroll during her Dynasty days!

She was at the door hollering "Nettie! Me and you will never part" and doing that patty cake thing.

I let my car window down and hollered "Look at that hair!! Hair, gal! You got big hair!!"

It was a press and curl. I fluffed it with my fingers... to make sure it wasn't a lace-front wig, you see.

No it was not. She had indeed pressed and curled her natural hair as she does from time to time.

She even had a specially made Christmas Eve dress.

Let it be known that she would NOT allow me to take pictures until she had on her full makeup and holiday gear. I was just stopping through to say hello and drop off cookies. This should not have taken but 15 minutes. But she made me wait a full 2 hours before she went upstairs and changed.

"Why are you holding me hostage, man!?" I hollered a couple of times.

LOL

In the meantime, she was prepping macaroni and cheese for Christmas day dinner.

And she was doing it with much "Dianhn Carroll Dynasty" attitude. This confused me something awful.

It didn't help that I kept asking "You need some help over there, Celie? Because you look like you having a hard time over there. Boiling macaroni ain't that hard!"

Then I would laugh. And she would give me the evil eye.

She finally got the macaroni situated. It looked a little pale to me, though. She doesn't put the cheese on top until the Christmas, and she finishes baking it then. That makes sense. Otherwise, no one wants pale macaroni and cheese!

I told Tayari, I don't wanna hang out with her anymore! I want to hang out with her Mama and Daddy! Mama and Papa Jones are pure entertainment!

You see... Mama Jones taught me the trick of putting whole vanilla beans in cheap whiskey to give it some flavor.

"Open it up and smell it," Mama Jones said.

*lee taking too hard of a sniff of the whiskey... and nearly passing out*

Yeah, that's a good trick. I don't drink whiskey, but I sure will rememeber it. That's a good trick! Maybe I can do that with some lemonade.

Mama Jones sho nuff was in the kitchen cooking hard.

She was making a pot of collard greens with ham hocks... It's rare to see people make greens with pork these days. Everyone uses smoked turkey. We had a whole convo about the search for ham hocks. It is tough to find bootleg pork these days, unless you go to some corner store that sells that type of stuff.

She also made a pan of cornbread.

That is PERFECT cornbread. I wanted a slice, because it looked good. But I didn't ask. She was going to use that for her cornbread dressing. And if someone snatched a slice when no one was looking, she would've known it was me. Hmm. Not a good look.

I could hear them talking about me. "Tayari, don't invite that girl over here. Ever again."

Anyway, the convo went back to adult beverages.

Mama Jones wanted to make Pomegrante martinis, but had never made them. (This caused Tayari and Auntie Jones to grown in unison. Papa Jones didn't seem to mind much, as he was drinking mimosas).

I, however, used my smart phone to find several recipes. We agreed upon one.

There was MUCH coaxing going on to get me to have a martini. My answer was always "No ma'am. I don't hold my liquor good. And I gotta drive home. And it's not a good look for me to passed out on ya'll's floor or sofa."

(There was NO way that I was going to sit up there and drank in front of Mama and Papa Jones. Not in front of high level academic folks and folks who were active in the civil rights movement. NO WAY, man.)

And I didn't want Tayari to have to hear "Don't invite that girl over here ever again".

I know we must've spent an hour discussing the martini concoction. I'd never had one, but the internet is always a trusty source.

Mama Jones even zested an orange.

You know me. You know what I do for a living. I wanted to ask "Is that orange a certified organic orange? And if it ain't, do you know it has thiabendazole, imazalil, and other fungicides sprayed on it?"

LOL. Now you know I didn't ask her that. I took my Dr. LadyLee hat off. I just stood there in the kitchen and watched Mama Jones zest her orange with much glee.

We had a LONG discussion on converting ounces to tablespoons. I told Mama Jones that I only work with milliliters and grams. I don't know nothing about ounces. But she figured it out.

The recipe we agreed on called for much more liquor than pomegrante and lemon juice. This concerned Mama Jones a bit. I told her I suppose you are just trying to flavor and color up your liquor. The point is the liquor!

And she made a fine martini.

She even handed me a glass.

Thank goodness it only contained an ounce of martini. We'll call it a mini-martini.

It was GOOD!

"Mama Jones," I said. "You did a fine job. I taste hints of lemon and pomegrante. That orange zest was a good idea. And I can feel the liquor burning in my chest."

Yes, it was good. And burned my chest.

"You want some more?" she asked.

*ladylee shaking head vigorously*

It was near time for me to get on home. But not before getting a picture of the Christmas tree!

Not the best picture... but it makes me want to somewhat consider putting up a Christmas tree next year!

Oh yeah... the BEST part of my visit? What I forgot to mention.

Tayari let me read excerpts of her next book.

Now, I'd gotten into whine and stalker mode. "Chick, look here," I said. "It's like this: I ain't trying to do all this pleading and begging, because we're homegirls now, SWATS rolling, and that ain't necessary. But you know you need to go head on and let me read what you've written. You need to give it up."

She said no. I continued to talk trash... and beg.

And plead. And beg some more.

She let me read a couple of paragraphs on her I-phone. She told me to give the phone back. I almost got the notion to run out the house with her phone. But I decided against that. We SWATS chicks. In other words, it was not a good idea to be seen fighting in the front yard.

Good stuff, Tayari! Put me down for the next reading and review crew like you did with the last book! Really though!

In the meantime, send me whatever you are writing. (Yeah, that's not going to happen).

I had a good time with her and her fam. Like I said, Mama Jones, Papa Jones, and Auntie Jones were tons of fun. Hours of entertainment!

I'll holler at you next time when you're in town, T! I surely will!

Two Lil' Swats Girls!

So, like I said, last Monday, August 1st, I attended a reading and signing of Silver Sparrow by the Great Tayari Jones.


You know I am her number one fan... Her number one stalker stan!

If you didn't know how much I JOCK... now you know!

So, when she comes to town, I must see her.

Now for some odd reason, I was suppose to be at my old bookclub meeting to see her, from what I hear. STILL not sure what that was about. All I know is that she had 3 tour stops in Atlanta that weekend, and I plann was to hit the last one, the Camp Creek SWATS B&N to see her. She had three stops in ATL that weekend.

I had to see the Lil' SWATS girl in SWATS, aka Southwest Atlanta, the setting for her books! That is just CLASSIC.

Anyway, Tayari read chapter one of Silver Sparrow.

She is an excellent reader. I wish I could read as well as she does.

As you can see, she is on a crutch. I will talk about that later.
She gave a reading, talked and answered questions for about 45 minutes to a big crowd.

Most interesting thing she said concerning writing craft:

"If you have been trapped in elevator, you can write about being trapped in a space ship."

*lee clutches at imaginary pearls hanging around her own neck*

OH MY! That is so profound. STILL thinking about that one. Made me want to go home and WRITE right away.

I took a few pictures. Once I did, I was about to leave. She hollered "Wait!"

*lee stopping in mid motion*

Odd. I usually come and go. She has, like, a whole entourage of peeps waiting around to talk to her after her readings. I talk to her on the phone, and text. I was not thinking of sticking around just to talk to her. Holla at her later.

I hung out a little longer as she signed books for the long line of readers.

I tried to sneak off again. She hollered "Wait!"

*lee freezing in midmotion... again*

One of my old book club members Phyllis was there, talking about she Tayari's #1 fan.

She almost caught an elbow to the forehead. I made her correct that QUICK! Which she did. Tayari didn't protest. As she should not have.

LadyLee is the #1 fan. Well, behind Mama and Papa Jones, who were at the reading!



They gave birth to her. So I GUESS they can be the number one fans. Humph.

I will give them that much. Ma and Pa can be the top fans.

So after I stuck around for a minute, Tayari was done. She signed the store stock. And then she hollered "Let's go get something to eat!"

O_o

I wasn't particularly hungry. Not a fan of eating late. It mucks up my sleep.

But, it had been awhile since we hung out, so what the heck, man.

Anyway, we got outside. It was raining. She recently had a procedure done on her foot and she was kicking that silver crutch. So I offered to carry the umbrella.

We -she, I, and one of her childhood friends -were watching the rain, trying to decide what to do.

I offered to hold the umbrella. "I ain't got no hair! Ya'll do, so don't get it wet! I don't need an umbrella."

Okay, they both looked at me like I was crazy.

Whatever! I was telling the truth!

Tayari hollered "Let's go!" And then she took off FAST on that crutch.

I was trying to keep up. The crutch was banging my shins. And then I started tripping, because the crutch was banging me in my shins.

"I better not fall out here, Tayari. And if you fall, I'm taking a picture!"

LOL.

We made it to her rental car. I jumped in. It was a Ford.

*gas face*

I started complaining. "You suppose to be in a Lexus, a Benz! What the heck is this!"

She was not moved.

She a superstar to me. Where the chauffeur at, man!?

I started touching everything. I leaned over and said "This is a frickin FORD, man!"

LOL

Anyway, we went right across the way to the Red Lobster. It was PACKED at 9:30 at night! Wow! Packed like it was a Sunday afternoon. There was no wait. We were immediately seated.

Our waitress, Tonya, came over and gave us our menus. Tayari said "Before you go anywhere, show me the wine. I want some wine. I want a glass of wine right now."

LOL!

(((lush alert! lush alert!)))

I asked for a water, with a few sides of lemon. "And can you bring some of those cheese biscuits?"

"Of course," the waitress said.

*lee cheesing hard*

I wasn't all that hungry. But I gotta have some cheese biscuits if I am at Red Lobster. Really.

The most interesting argument conversation of the evening:

Anyway, we talked. And it came time to order.

"What kind of vegetables do you have?" I asked the waitress.
"Asparagus and Broccoli."
"How much is a bowl of broccoli?"
"No one has ever asked that before. I'll go check."
"And can you bring back some them cheese biscuits?"
"I sure will."

Tayari was looking at me crazy.

"I'm not all that hungry. I had a salad when I left work."
"It's on me, get something."
"No."

The waitress came back with Tayari's wine. "A bowl of broccoli will be 7 dollars."
"That's too much for some broccoli. Do ya'll still have the tossed salad?"
"Bring her the broccoli," Tayari said.
"Calm down! I said no, girl!"
"Bring the broccoli."
"Man, calm down!" I turned to the waitress. "Bring me a house salad and a side order of broccoli."
"Bring the broccoli! The bowl!" Tayari said again.
"Calm down!" I yelled.

Okay you had to be there. It was... interesting. The waitress was wide eyed, had that look that said... "Oooookay, these broads fighting about broccoli."

"And can you please bring some cheese biscuits?" I asked again.

Somehow Tayari convinced the waitress to split the broccoli between us two.

Whatever.

Our cheese biscuits came (finally). And so did my broccoli and salad. Tayari had the create-your-own-platter deal of shrimp and crabs. And she made a big issue out of this, because it made her feel like she was in charge! That was funny!

She made sure to make sure I saw her guzzling some water. Yes, I send annoying text messages concerning the importance of drinking water while traveling from city to city in this jacked up heat.

With the food drama past us, we actually got a chance to talk and catch on things. I looooooove sitting around talking to Tayari, because she is one of the most interesting and smartest people I know. She always gives me a new perspective on things. Not just writing, but on other things we are each going through. And for that alone, I count her as a true friend.

With that said, I think I dropped a food-for-thought bomb on her that night...

A person's true character is revealed when you give them power.

I want you to think carefully about that one. And look around you, and see if that's not true. Stay tuned for a detailed post on that. Hell I ain't even gotta write up a post on that. Just spend a little time looking at people around you... and even spend a little time looking at yourself. (I will write a post on it anyway.)

That blew her away.

*lee cheesing hard*

I bet you STILL thinking about that one, Tayari!

LOL!!

We finished our meal, sat around and talked for awhile. Tayari had left her purse out in the car, so I went out and got it, since she all "Tiny-Timmish" with that crutch and busted foot.

I came back and she splayed out in the booth...




I laughed EXTRA hard. Had to get a picture.

A typical SWATS girl. Get tired, put your feet up... no matter WHERE you at.

LOL

I don't blame her. Because I was leaned out on my side of the booth.

I know the waitress had to be like... "Oooookay. Ghetto girls."

No. Correction: Lil' SWATS girls.

I was VERY glad to not only hear Tayari read from her novel, and talk about spaceships and elevators (lol), but I was happy for the added treat of hanging with her that evening. Yeah, we yack on the phone, text like crazy, etc... but it was good to stop, chill out, kick our feet up, and talk in person.

There are few people who I encounter that, which each convo, I increase as a person. She is definitely one of them.

And I am HAPPY for that.

So Tayari, Lil' Swats Girl? Enjoy the rest of your tour! I, the other Lil' SWATS girl will be cheering you on. And sending you annoying text messages reminding you to drink your water!

And if she's coming to a town near you, make sure to go out and support her!

You won't be disappointed!

Really though!

Ya'll have a good Tuesday... on purpose!

Crazy Convos, Part II: Lipstick and Horsefeed

Yeah, yeah, yeah... another Tayari story.

"Why LadyLee," Blog family yells. "Why"
Because I'm a STALKER!!! I stalk Tayari.

She's found a decent way to deal with me, though.

I think I will just befriend her, she thinks to herself.

Hmm...

Somehow I got Tayari's phone number. I don't remember how. But I have her home phone number, her cell number, even her Mama and nem number. Not sure how that happen.

Anyway, she has my cell phone number too. And when the phone rings and her name comes up, for a long time, a couple years, there was a hard stare, followed by the widening of the eyes... soon followed by a gasp and and a yell of... "It's Tayari Jones calling me! My favorite author is calling me!"

I said this in the lab a few times. Other coworkers peered at me... curiously.

And for some reason, she tends to read my blog. So if she sees's something interesting, she won't leave a comment. She will just call. For example, I wrote a post about my exasperation over a fellow wanting to buy me a $500 dollar purse, and uh... what that might entail.

Tayari called me about it and figured out where I could get the purse. Interestingly I didn't really pay much attention to this 10 minute convo. I was spending my time trying to make sure I enunciate (if you know me in person, I am the most ebonically inclined Oldgirl in the world.) I was sitting at a computer trying my best to fool with a faulty program and pull data for some weird vegetable, grinning ear to ear. I hung up and whispered to a coworker "That was my favorite author. That was Tayari Jones. And we talked about pocketbooks."
Coworker peers at me... curiously... as I go into semi-hyperventilation mode.

LOL...

Fast forward some three years.

I ain't all that starstruck with her. Her master plan of befriending the stalker LadyLee has worked wondrously. Me and my sister were having a convo about stalking, and how one of her friend's stalks a chick, and how it unnerves everybody. I said how I stalk Tayari Jones.

"That don't count, Lisa," my sister said. "It isn't the same thing. Tayari is like, our cousin or something. It don't count."

LOL!!

My sister Kentucky heard a few choice words from me that day. She kept hollering "What are you talking about, Lisa? It's not the same!"

LOL

Anyway, to the point of this story.

Tayari took some new photos, some publicity shots or something like that.

She told me about them. I was sitting in the cubicle area. Me and Cowgirl Cre pulled them up.

And the comments from the peanut gallery began.

We were very interested in the following picture, the one she uses now on twitter.




*CowgirlCre and LadyLee peering at the screen curiously*

CowgirlCre: Look at the pretty dress. It's yellow!
LadyLee: And what is that pattern, some flowers? *peering closely at the screen, taps pen on computer screen* No that's some dots or something. What is that?
CowgirlCre: Can't tell. But it's pretty. And it's all sunny outside. That's a good picture.
LadyLee: Sure is. And her hair is the bomb, too.

We continue pondering the picture.

LadyLee: Cre, check out that lipstick. That looks a little like the shade I wear.
CowgirlCre: What is that?
LadyLee: That's that plum or something like that. I like it darker. But that is close. Her's looks expensive, like it won't rub off.

At this time Coworker Hen-Dog walks up.

Hen-Dog: What ch'all doing?
LadyLee: Looking at some new photos of Tayari.
*CowgirlCre and LadyLee continue discussing the dress and the lipstick*
*Hen leans down and peers at screen over my shoulder and starts making cat-call noises.
LadyLee: What is your problem?
Hen-Dog: I like what I see. whooo!
*CowgirlCre and LadyLee frown up*
LadyLee: Ain't nobody thinking about that, boy.
Hen-Dog: I'm a man! I don't care about the dress and the lipstick. I'm looking at what's in the dress!
*CowgirlCre and LadyLee look back at Hen-Dog and frown up even more*
LadyLee: BOY GO AWAY. * lee shoves Hen-Dog back away from us*

LadyLee: I wanna know where she got that lipstick from!"
CowgirlCre: It is a nice shade.

Lee dials Tayari's phone number.

LadyLee: Hey Celie, what's up!? We're looking at your new pictures. They are nice!
Tayari: Thank you, Nettie!
LadyLee: Check it out, girl. What kind of lipstick you wearing and where you get it from?

An interesting conversation about lipstick and chestnut lipliner ensued. And something about the MAC counter at the mall. I was a bit O_O because it sounded expensive.


My lipstick cost 99 cents, and I get it from the Chinese people store. Tayari's lipstick cost muuuuuuuuch more than that, and you have to add the price of the chestnut lipliner on to that.

Tayari: Just go to the mall. The MAC counter at the mall.

I have heard of MAC. My little blog sister Serenity23 seems to spend much time there.

LadyLee: Honey, I don't go to the mall.
Tayari: Well send CowgirlCre. She'll get it for you.
*LadyLee giggles HARD*

I am a tomboy. Not going near the mall. CowgirlCre is semi-tomboy with girlie tendencies from time to time. But she ain't going to the mall either. CowgirlCre trying to ride a horse, man. No mall shopping. We are Wal-mart chicks!

Convo continued, with Tayari trying to convince me of this.

It was toooo funny. (Okay, you had to be there.)

I told CowgirlCre of this. Of course she frowned up.

"Me going to the mall?" CowgirlCre uttered in disbelief. "That's like me asking her to go to buy some horsefeed!"

LOL!!! That was funny!

(okay, you had to be there. Us... imagining the girly Tayari walking out of a store with horsefeed. LOL!!!!!!!!)

I had an interesting idea. I looked over my shoulder... Hen-Dog was over in his cubicle.

LadyLee: Hen-Dog!
Hen-Dog: Yo!
LadyLee: When you go to the mall, can you get some lipstick for me?
Hen-Dog: Sure can!

LOL

Hen-Dog... He's the type of brother you can send to the store to get tampons and pads. He don't care. Just happy to help if you in need. And the next time he was at the mall, he could roll up in the MAC store and purchase some lipstick and liner.

That was all funny to us. Nope, I never got the lipstick. But it is amazing how Tayari can engage me in a convo about purses or lipstick. She is the ONLY one who can do that... It's like she's telling a wonderful story or something. She makes it interesting.

So one day, I will get my lipstick... I will go to the mall.

And maybe we can talk Tayari into stopping by the feed store and getting CowgirlCre's horse some horsefeed.

Good Monday Morning - Silver Sparrow Winners

Time to announce the winners of the TEN signed copies of Silver Sparrow!!

*cartwheels*

Ten winners... hope you see your name!



*crickets*

Looks like Lil' Serenity Chicken had herself an... accident. Either that or she had a bad run-in with Oscar-Tyrone!

LOL!

But she hollered in her chicken voice...

"I'm alright LadyLee!! Even though I can't walk, I'm stillll a soldier!! Draaaaaag me by my wing over to the winners circle, LadyLee! Draaaaag me!"

Poor chicken. She will be alright. Her fragile butt is going to be undergoing major superglue today. If that don't work, she's gonna get some Now and Laters prosthetic feets.

If you can't see your name above? Here are the winners!

Traycee30
Mrs AKAtude
Unity Falls
Sayitlikethis
Stacie
Tiffany D
Adrienne
Ali
Monique
Rebecca

Do you see your name? Congrats!!

Email your address to Oldgirlladylee@gmail.com. You can also use the earthlink address. But I wouldn't do that. I am getting spammed outta control with the drug emails and the erectile dysfunction email over there. Pissing me off. So if you send your addy, PLEASE put BOOK GIVEAWAY in the subject line. That way I will know it's not spam.

Now you got a week to send me your address. Some of you aren't regular readers of House of LadyLee, and I can't contact you. If you don't send your info, then I kept the sack of names. New names will be pulled. Don't think I won't do it!

I don't know what to do about the gift card. A person who won a book, won the gift card too? How lucky is that broad!?

I asked Tayari how much the gift card should be for. I was gonna let her pick the amount.

She was like "Hunh?"

I still explained it to her. She was all O_o.

I finally told her... "Don't worry about it, Lil' SWATS girl! Don't worry about it!"

LoL!!!

Congrats to the winners!

This is the extent of my Monday Morning post... This week was suppose to be a food-for-thought week. We are pushing that to next week.

Have a great Monday! Have a great week!

On purpose!

Crazy Convos, Part I: "Apricots"

I have had some interesting conversations in my lifetime.

And I've had a few with ol' Tayari.

Some have had me coming away like O_O. I've called my best friend LadyTee and I've said, "You know, Tayari is normal just like us. She got the same thangs on her mind, just like us."

"Well that's good!" LadyTee said.

"But she's Tayari Jones. That's just odd. She walks on water."

LOL

For years, I thought Tayari sat atop billowy clouds writing with her perfect pen. . . perfect words on perfect pieces of paper.

Uh, NOT.

I think we are friends now, because we can freely snap on each other... In a friendly way mind you.

Like for example, I mentioned here on the blog that Tayari has this interesting pink fur coat that she likes and she always wears the thing. I got to thinking... I've never seen her in another coat. I said that maybe I shouldn't talk about it so much because it may be the only coat she owns.

Well, I got an interesting phone call that night. "Lee, that isn't the only coat I own!!!" Then she gave me a rundown of all her coats.

LOL. I had to holla "Calm down, Man!" that day.

But one of the funniest convos came a year ago...

It was a year or so ago, a weekend morning. I can't remember if it was a Saturday or a Sunday, but for some reason, Tayari had called. I can't recall what we were talking about, but I was making out a grocery list for the Dekalb farmers's market. It was probably one of those calls where you just call to shoot the breeze about nothing. (However, I always manage to slip in some writing craft question, lol).

My sister Kentucky was standing at the sink washing dishes... I'd been walking back and forth talking on the phone.

I asked my sister if she wanted anything from the market. I continued talking to Tayari while my sister thought about it.

I asked my sister again...

"Hey girl," I said to my sister. "Come on now, tell me what you want since I'm going out there!"

"Bring back some of those cranberry muffins," Kentucky said. She rinsed a plate and placed it in the drying rack. "Not the big ones, but the little ones, the ones that are 6 to a pack."

I scribbled it down on the grocery list. "What else you want?"


"I like apricots. I want some apricots," Tayari said.

"Tayari, ain't nobody talking to you, girl!" I said, my voice raised and an octave higher than normal.

My eyes widened. I clamped my hand to my mouth.

This is Tayari Jones. I'm not suppose to talk to her like that. This is the great Tayari Jones. My writing idol. I'm not suppose to talk to her like that! I've always been sure to enunciate every word correctly in her presence. No ebonics, just my good Ph.D. english. (Ya'll who know me, know that I tend to be ebonically inclined).

Oh Lawd. Oh Lawd have mercy.

"I like apricots," Tayari said again. "The skin is smooth. Velvety soft."

"Uh, well," I said. "We don't eat those."

"I like them. They are velvety."

I didn't know what to say about that. I left it alone, and just stood there watching Kentucky wash dishes from breakfast. I continued scribbling out items on my list. Me and Tayari talked about other things, not sure what. I was still thinking about the apricots.

But let's just say, I was a bit more watchful of what I was saying to the great Tayari Jones.

Anyway I went to the Farmer's Market. Made sure to get everything on my list including Kentucky's cranberry muffins.

Then as I was walking to the cashier area, I walked back through the fruit section... and that's when I saw them.

The apricots.

And they were $1.99 pound.

I peered at them thoughtfully. Rolled on past them...

Rolled back past them.

I have to touch them, I thought to myself. I have to touch the apricots.

I rolled my cart past the apricots a couple of times more. I finally stopped there...

I looked to my left. I looked to my right. No one was looking at me.

I closed my eyes, reached my hands out... and felt the apricots.

And she was right... they were smooth as baby's skin. Velvety.

Now Tayari is a literary writer. None of that commercial writing. Literary. So if she say something, then I'm peering curiously at her, wondering, what does it mean? What is she trying to say?

Like she might say "I like that dress." I'm looking at her like, What does it mean? Is there a metaphor in that somewhere? Something deeper? A simile? What does she mean?

Hell... she might just mean she likes the dress.

LOL.

But I was standing there, rubbing my fingers over the apricots, and it occured to me, and I wanted to yell it to the whole store, but I only whispered it...

"She's gonna use this in a story. She's gonna use it in a story."

I thought she was going to use it in her book or a story or something.

I grabbed some apricots, shoved them in a plastic bag!

You know me. If Tayari put her hand in her pocket, I put my hand in my pocket, too, babes. Yes sir!

(That's what you call "indirect stalking". My stalker activity is complex like that).

I took those apricots home. Touched them a little more. I too was going to use them in a story.



I talked to her a few days later! "Hey, I bought some apricots! And you're right, the skin is smooth! Velvety!"

"I like apricots!" she said.

I was waiting to hear her talk about something deeper, like using it in something she was writing. And I was wondering how I could beg her to let me read whatever it was. (Yes, I have no shame.)

She didn't say anything.

Maybe she just likes apricots.

I ate my apricots. And wrote down the baby smooth velvety apricots thoughts. I looked for that in Silver Sparrow somewhere, but it wasn't there.

Maybe Tayari just likes apricots.

All I know, I'm going to use it in a story somewhere.

Just a funny story for you. I'm always having interesting convos...

You need to read Silver Sparrow! You won't regret it! It's full of interesting similes and metaphors! Tayari has a knack for such things!

And you can win if you comment this week. I'm giving away SIX copies. SIX!!

"But LadyLee," blog fam yells. "You said FIVE copies yesterday!"

Yes I did. Today I'm saying SIX!!!

You better enter to win, Mayne! I have SIX signed copies to give away! However many times you comment, that's how many times your name goes in the bag!

I'm not a comment whore. Just want you to have a copy of a good book.

And if you already have the book, enter for a gift card!

You all have a terrific Tuesday... On purpose!!