Hot Bath, Anyone?

I interrupt the regular programming at The House of LadyLee to bring you this special blog post.

*Oldgirl putting on her Dr. LadyLee cap*

Boys and girls! We're going to talk a little chemistry today.

*Blog family stretches and yawns and gives the Dr. LadyLee the laser side-eye*

In the words of Tupac:

Walk with me... Hail Mary... Come quickly... How do you like me now, La di da la la la!!

So...

There was a story in the news this weekend about some strange problem of bath salts being sold as drugs, and that snorting these salts have pretty much the same effect as snorting cocaine or meth.

*crickets*

I'm sure this freaked people out, and had them looking at their Calgon saying...

Calgon, can you REALLY take me away?

LOL!!

I, being a chemist, usually pay these stories no mind.

Because I know what's up.

But I was a little worried when a twitter sista was a bit perplexed over it.

I told her what my expertise was and that I would look into it. (This would take me all of 2 to 3 minutes).

So I came back and tried to explain it to her.

(Note to self: be REAL ready to thoroughly explain things to a lawyer. REAL ready).

So, we had a fine fine twitter chat about this on Sunday evening. I know both of our timelines were like O_O. Folks left us alone and let us talk back and forth, lol.

I thought it was worth posting over here, dear dwellers of The House of LadyLee. My followers may be chickens, but they are not chickenheads, and are eager to learn new things. I need you to be educated when you see some madness come up about people sniffing strange substances that weren't meant for that purpose.

(Remember the whole nutmeg craziness a couple months ago? Same principle.)

First of all, let me tell you about me, so you will know that I know what I'm talking about. I am a food chemist right now, moreso an analytical chemist (seperating and analyzing small amounts of chemicals on stuff). I am TRAINED (got my doctorate) in Organic synthesis and drug design. Meaning I can draw a drug on paper, sketch up a way to make it, and then go in the lab and make it and purify it.

Uh, a drug dealer would love the Oldgirl. That is all.

So, listen close when I tell you this, cuz I know what's up.

So... they say the "bath salts", well, you can snort them and get you high.

Do not run in the bathroom and snort your Calgon. Please and thank you.

Here's the issue: Not sure where the whole "Bath salt" thing came from, but it looks as these drugs are marketed as herbal bath salts.

The $2 dollar box of Calgon ain't herbal. These little packets of "bath salts" cost over $25 a packet.

I personally think that these substances are packaged as "bath salts", so they can be sold over the counter.

So I looked into it.

Here are the two chemicals, the "bath salts" that get a person high. (double click on the blank spaces)

mep.hedrone



methylened.ioxypyrovalerone (MDP.V)

I laughed uncontrollably when I saw that first chemical, mephre.done. Why? Because it is CHEAP and easy to make.

I did a retrosynythetic analysis of both of the drugs. This simply means that I grabbed a scratch piece of paper, drew the compounds, and deconstructed them down to their starting materials. That first one can be made in half a day, I suppose. It's a matter of purifying it, which shouldn't be too hard.

The second chemical with the long name should take a week, but should be much easier to purify than the first one.

The first one is available for order off the net. Looks to be a hot item in Britain. I wouldn't order it though.

You don't need to be sniffing stuff, man. Really.

You don't.

Anyway, it's my guess that the second one, the MDPV, is the one they sell as the "bath salt" for snorting. For the simple reason that it's more difficult to make/get a hold of.

(They talked about it on the news tonight. Yeah, the MDPV is the true culprit here.)

Incidently, that MDPV is similar to another chemical, MDMA. (double click on blank space)

That one is the chemical in Ecstasy. As you can see MDMA and MDPV look alike. The only difference is that the MDPV produces a purely "cocainish" high, whereas the ecstasy does the same, along with the sexual and social euphoria.

That is all very interesting. Those are all a part of a family of drugs called Designer Drugs.

They are drugs made in the lab.

(Yeah they are easy to make. One of my classmates use to make his own speed. Was wondering why Shorty was so doggone happy and moving fast all the time! Sigh.)

So there you have it.

Now you know.

When you see news reports of jokers sniffing strange stuff, know that there is a chemical involved that produces the high.

Whether it be the nutmeg you use in your apple pie...

Or the high class herbal bath salts you shake in your bath water....

Chemicals compounds aboud... whether good or bad

They are everywhere...

Man oh man.... I haven't done organic synthesis work in a good 11 years.

And looka here, looka here... I did a little in a blog post.

*lee cheesing hard like Celie*

This chemistry lesson has been brought to you by Your Friendly Neighborhood Doctor....

Dr. LadyLee.

*lee takes off Doctor hat, throw it in the closet*

Now... back to our regular programming.

Tales O' Fire (Part II)

Now, I've had one other little fire incident in the laboratory, and incidently, it occurred in the same lab as the one talked about in Part I.

And this one involves that doofus Chang. Not directly, but it was the results of one of his mistakes/shortcuts.

As I said before, there is always one person in the chemistry lab who is a danger to himself and everyone else. And Chang was it. He broke a lot of stuff, tore up a lot of stuff... then would break out crying about it. We thought we could put him in charge of ordering our chemicals, because you can't muck that up. Just fill out an order form. Can't be that doggone hard, can it?

Well, Chang liked to take short cuts and save money. I think this may have stemmed from our advisor telling Chang "Don't spend too much money!"

Now, in a lab where we worked with HIGHLY moisture sensitive materials, it was highly important to make sure all solvents are "dry". No water whatsoever. And you can order solvents where it is already "anhydrous" (dry). (But they are expensive, you see.) We ordered "anhydrous" solvents for general use and we put them through drying/purification stills.

General rule: "Never order cheap wet solvents."

Chang rule: "It's cheap, it saves us money. I'm ordering it!"

So...

I was doing a reaction one day, and since this was some 15 years ago, I can't really remember what it was I was working on. But it involved dropping some lithium metal in ethyl ether. I'd done this plenty of times before then.

I didn't get ether out of the stills. I got it straight out of what I thought was a bottle of anhydrous ether.

Well, I had about 1/2 liter ether in a flask, and I dropped some lithium in it.

It bubbled and fizzed like crazy. I had it in the back of a fume hood, a work area for chemistry work that contains fumes, etc...

I remember thinking..."Gee, that isn't suppose to do that."

I had my hand on the flask. I pushed it back further in the hood, thinking, maybe I just need to let that "calm down".

Then, all of sudden, before I could move my hand.

WHOOSH!!

It sounded like when I'm preparing a grill, and I throw a lit match on lighter fluid-soaked coals.

And I didn't move my hand in time. My hand and wrist caught fire. What a sight.

I snatched my hand back and shook it hard in the air. The fire went out, but not before singeing a little of my hair.

OH. MY.

Well, I almost fainted. I don't know who came and checked on me, but I remember hiding out in the ladies restroom just down the hall.. .

It is at these times that you need some alone time. To pray, to reflect... to something.

Now, I didn't need any medical attention. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that solvent will burn and burn itself out. My hand was coated in solvent that splashed out of the flask. It seems as if that was what protected my skin. (Yeah, that don't make any sense to me either. But it is what it is. Personally, I like to think it was divine protection, you know?)

It could've been bad if I wasn't curious about all the "fizzing".

My peeps joned me something terrible later that day. There was a black film festival on campus and I met up with them. They could smell the burn of my hair. (Wasn't bad, only along the edge near my left temple.) So there was a lot of "What's that smell, is something on fire??"

LOL

(Yeah, it took them a month to uh, forget about it all.)

Well, I told my advisor about this. He thought the same thing I thought: That ain't suppose to happen. Plus, I'd done whatever I was working on several times before. And there would be only one or two small bubbles. Never some alka-seltzer hard fizzling.

Hmm...

We went and looked at the bottle of solvent. Turns out Chang had ordered the cheap stuff. When solvents are cheap, they usually contain a good bit of water (well, too much to be using in an organic lab).

I lit into that doggone Chang. I must say to this day, I haven't cussed anyone out THAT bad since. He already thought I was the angry black woman. Every time I saw dude - in class, walking down the hall, walking around campus - I would point and say some choice words. I had him scared to death. I remember him being in tears a couple of times. (I wasn't moved by that AT ALL).

Of course, my advisor snapped on him. It wasn't good enough for me. I wanted him to take his belt off and whoop that joker. But Chang was VERY sensitive, a big cryer. He always eventually got a pat on the shoulder. I couldn't stand how him and others around me were babied.

Me and Chang didn't get along as it was, and we didn't get along AT ALL after that. I think I stopped talking to him. And he knew not to even think about me or even look at me.

Anyway... I know I make sure to check my materials before I use them. I can blame Chang's ineptness all day, but at the end of the day, I have to be careful...

Last week, some 15 years later, I googled ol' Chang to see what he's up to. He appears to be successful and doing well. He has a nice impressive list of accomplishments. I saw him at a conference some 8 years ago, and I could see the fear in his eyes when he saw me.

Yes, I thought about his "doofiness" then. All his shenanigans ran across my mind in one big blur...

But what's done is done.

Plus, I don't work with him.

And hopefully, I never will again...

Tales O' Fire!

Yo...

I forgot to finish up my stories for chemistry week... You know, the ones involving me and fires in the lab.

Now, the fires I've experienced are nothing serious. I had a friend who had a three alarm fire in her lab in Texas. Mine aren't serious, and I didn't get hurt or anything. And when that happens, well... there is a strange thing with us chemists: Such fire stories turn into "war stories" of sorts. We sit around and retell them, like the great storytellers told ghost stories around bonfires back in the good ol' days of old. We even like to re-enact the events.

Yes it gets pretty elaborate. Yes, it is lame. We are just that nerdy.

So here's what's up...

Backdraft. So, in the same lab I mentioned before, the one where I worked with this doofus named Chang, one of the other students, had a little, uh... trouble.

In an organic lab, under no circumstances does one use a bunson burner. That is some ol' ish they did in high school. No flames in an organic lab. We had too many solvents around: acetone, ethers, hexanes, all kinds of crap we could hardly pronounce. ALL OF IT FLAMMABLE.

But we did have what we call heat guns. Heat guns look exactly like hand-held blow dryers, but not as cute, lol.

But heat guns aren't blow dryers. Blow dryers dry your hair. A heat gun heats up, and blows air at about 800-1000 degrees fahrenheit on the highest setting. You try to blow your hair dry with that type of heat and you'll set your whole head on fire.

Let's just say, I spilled something on my shirt, and took a wet paper towel and blotted it dry. My shirt was a little wet. Thought I'd use the heat gun to, you know, dry it off. I could set it on the lowest setting. I think that was 500 degrees or so.

Well I dried my shirt alright. There was a tiny burn hole, and a big scorch mark on my shirt. And I dried it while I had my shirt ON.

Big scorch mark. I remember Cowgirl Cre saying "What happened?"

Humph. Went home... and saw that my bra strap was a little scorched.

DANG!

But, one day my lab partner Tom was stooped to the floor and had a large flask in his hand containing a couple of liters of pentane, a VERY volatile and HIGHLY flammable liquid. I was watching him stooped down, swirling away. I was sitting at my desk, some 20 feet away, doing my homework. So, we were talking about whatever, maybe some class assignment or something like that.

"LadyLee, I need to evaporate this pentane off real fast."

Now, we had actual machines for this. But he wanted to evaporate it fast.

I heard the heat gun switch on.

I looked over at him, and he was stooping down, swirling the large flask full of pentane.

I remember thinking, "He really shouldn't be doing that. That might be bad."

Now, I've never seen the movie Backdraft. I just remember the trailers and commercials, images of fire rolling beautifully across the ceilings and floor.

And by the time I was about to mention to Tom that he shouldn't be doing that, the flask ignited, and a fire was rolling across the floor towards me.

Tom dropped the flask and dipped. He was close to the door. All I remember seeing, past the floor of fire, which was about 8 feet by 15 feet and rolling FAST towards me, was the back of Tom's khaki pants and the tread of his shoe.

I hurdled my desk and shot through a door into another lab and then jumped out a window. (Don't worry, we were on the first floor).

The fire alarms sounded. Some 10 minutes later we went back into the building. I think Tom's woman saw his baseball cap on the floor and lost her freaking mind. Tom showed up from whereever he ran to some 5 minutes after I came back.

Turns out he had left, and then came back looking for me. I had left and was outside the building in about 15 seconds flat.

"LadyLee, you should've seen it. The waste containers had caught fire and it looked like flame throwers, and blah, blah, blah."

(I have learne that white men like this type of thing. I don't stick around for JACK. I'll holler at you later when the coast is clear.)

We talked about that for a couple of years. I remember saying, numerous times, "Man, all I saw was fire, the back of your khaki shorts, and the damn tread of your shoe. You were running that hard."

"Girl I was trying to get out of there!! I came back and you were gone!"

"But you left me!"

(I always had to do the damsel in distress move whenever I felt wronged. LOL).

Tom got a good tongue lashing from our advisor. Along with me in the background putting my two cents in, of course.

Yeah, that was some craziness...

Stay tuned for Tales O' Fire, Part II.

Heavy Metal, Baby (Part II): "It Never Fails"

One thing I know about this here life of ours...

Some things never fail... they're gonna always happen.

Hot and cold.

Night and day.

The rising and setting of the sun.

And in the past few elections, some politicians trying to rig and pull the bootleg (NO BILLARY, you won't get the Florida and Michigan delegates. Stop trying to steal the election!!)

Sigh.

Yes, things never fail to occur.

And in the world of chemistry...

It never fails...

That some doofus dumb ass challenged individual gets a notion to work in a chemistry lab.

It never fails... and I've been around more than my share of such folks.

Now, what I mean by "challenged individuals" is those people who well, they mean well, may be even very good people, but they are a bit on the clumsy side. They don't really think about what they are doing, don't ask for help, none of that. Nice people, but need to go take up a less adventurous profession...

Like Mountain climbing, perhaps.

And clumsy in a chemistry spells DANGEROUS.

If you didn't read the last post, then you won't appreciate where I am going with all this. So go read that last post (It ain't long... yet, it is quite informative;)

Anyway, I have a ton of experience with moisture-sensitive, air-sensitive and pyrophoric chemicals. And in grad school, I did research in these areas. I even have a few publications laying around here and there.

I am a safe chick in the lab. These days I'm not, since I work with fruits and veggies and such, but with weird ish that can catch fire, I watch myself.

Anyway, back in the day, I worked in an organometallics lab. I was the only girl in a crew of a bunch of dudes. This was cool, because I learned how to do bootleg maintenance on a lot of different types of equipment. Very fun stuff.

Well, we had this one guy in our group, an Asian dude name "Chang".

Chang was nice enough. Very soft-spoken and mannerable.

But he was CLUMSY as hell. Always dropping stuff. Breaking EXPENSIVE glassware that we'd had handblown by a glassblower. Let's just say, I wasn't very fond of him. And in his eyes, I was an angry black woman.

This was fine with me. Most people think I am a little crazy.

If I can get you to think that I'm just a bit "touched", then I can keep you from harassing me or touching any of my property.

And that was the case with Chang. I heard him say one day, "Gosh, that girl LadyLee... that girl is crazy!"

Yeah.

Anyway, I'd rather be crazy than clumsy. Any day.

So...

When working with moisture sensitive compounds, one must have completely dry glassware, solvents, etc. For example, your dishes and glasses sitting there in your kitchen cabinet look dry, but they are not dry. Not at all. There is water on them that you can't see.

Trust me, there is!

So we have to oven dry all of our special glassware and cool them down under a non-air atmosphere. (Yeah, there are ways to do that, and I won't get into that here.)

So, Chang was put in charge of ordering our supplies for the lab - glassware, solvents, etc...

You can't muck that up can you? I mean, you're just writing out orders. T'ain't that hard.

Goodness.

So...

The year was 1993, I believe. I went to lunch one day, had a good time, and came back to the lab. I noticed my lab mates, 2 guys- Joe and Tom - staring at one of our lab benches. Chang is standing behind them, rubbing the back of his neck, looking like he was about to cry. (That boy was such a crybaby. There were several times where I wanted to tell him "Stop being a b*tch!")

No one said anything when I walked in. I was enjoying the last of a snack size bag of potato chips.
"What are ya'll doing?" I asked.

No one said a word. Chang is getting more nervous by the minute. He starts pacing.

"What's up? Why ya'll standing around?"

"Shhhhhh," Joe said. He kept staring at the counter.

I look at the bench and there is some dust all over the bench. It looks like someone ground up some chalk and threw it on the work area.

"Guys, I'm sorry!!!" Chang wailed.

I crunch on more chips and stare at him. "What's wrong with Chang? And why does it smell like ether [ethyl ether solvent] all up in here?"

"Be quiet, LadyLee."


I was quiet, but I'm standing there, rattling my chip bag, crunching on chips and watching. This was all terribly interesting, you see.

Well, this particular area of the lab bench (one of our work areas) contained our solvent stills. A solvent still is a apparatus used to purify solvents. So whenever we bought solvents, like acetone for example (you know, finger polish remover), we had to get it REALLY pure and REALLY dry. If we didn't, the tiny bit of water in it will kill our chemical reactions.

An example of a solvent still is shown in the picture to the left (above). Usually these are put in a protected area, called a fume hood, but we were an adventurous bunch: we had our stills all out in the open on the counter/lab bench. We were a careful bunch, you see. We anchored it down good, and never knocked something like that over.

And we use pieces of sodium metal to make our solvents "bone dry". Normally, we would buy blocks of sodium stored under mineral oil and chop off whatever we needed. Drop the cubes of sodium over in the still and it sucks up the miniscule amounts of water. Very nice concept, except for one thing.

Chang decided he didn't want to order sodium blocks. He got the notion to order sodium powder.

I never knew sodium powder existed. But Chang found it and got it.

So, back to my story.

I was standing there, watching the guys, crunching on my chips.

"What's all that stuff on the bench?" I finally ask.

"I broke a still!" Chang wailed. "And the sodium powder got all over the place!"

"I believe I know how we can clean this up," Tom said. he left us and went to his desk a few feet away and returned quickly with an index card.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" I asked. "An index card?"

"Be quiet, LadyLee. We got it under control."

"Guys, I didn't do it on purpose!"

"Shh," I said. I have no idea why we were all concerned with being quiet. I went back to eating my chips. Pondered the situation. No one ever busts a still. That would be dangerous. I look at Chang. Yep, he would do something like this.

Tom took his index card and started trying to slide the powder into a big pile.

There were tiny sparks flying, but disappearing. And there were little noises, little sounds.

psst...psst...crackle...pop... sizzle... sizzle...pssssssst.... sizzle, psssssstt... bing....

That didn't sound or look very good.

************huge crickets*************

*crickets move and LadyLee slowing stops chewing chips*

I took a small step back away from them.

(I was putting 2 and 2 together, you see.)

Took another step back. This time, a HUGE step.

"Guys, I'm sorry!" Chang hollered. He was near hysterics.

"Shut up, Chang!" Tom yelled.

"Yo, I'll see ya'll later," I said.

*Ladylee backing out of room and sprinting HARD down the hall at FULL speed like she in the Olympics*

And that's when I heard it....

It wasn't a loud BOOM.

It was more like "POOOOOOF"

But the loudest "poof" I've ever heard. Imagine what it would sound like for some dayum secret portal to another planet to open up.

Yeah. That's what it sounded like.

I'd hit a corner at the end of the hall by then and was gone.

I heard the guys yelling "Get the fire extinguisher! Run!"

I came back a few minutes later, after peeping around the corner, of course. Went back into the lab, even.

Couldn't see a thing! Just extinguisher smoke and dust everywhere, when the dust started to clear, Tom was standing there, in a hail of smoke, holding that extinguisher like it was a blow torch, or some huge weapon from a sci-fi film, like he was trying to kill some aliens.

"LadyLee you should've seen it! It was a big fire ball," Tom said.

"Ya'll are crazy!" I yelled. "You heard that stuff sparking up. And it smell like ether up in here! Ya'll are some fools!"

"I'm sorry guys." Chang hollered. He had tears in his eyes.

"I'ma tell!" I yelled. I pointed my finger hard at Chang. "You always doing stupid stuff, Chang. I'ma tell on YOU! And I ain't helping ya'll clean up in here!"

*LadyLee leaves room and goes looking to snitch on Chang*

Chang got a good tongue lashing from our advisor. Serves him right.

Here's the problem with sodium dust/powder. It has more surface area than a cube, pebble, or block. And with them skidding it around with that card, it reacted with the solvent and water vapor in the air.

Nice big fireball for YOU!

So be careful, boys and girls, when you fooling around with sodium metal.

You would think Chang would do better.

But he didn't learn a doggone thing...

It was this fool's fault that I caught fire some time later that year... and a Oldgirl opened up the book of cuss on him.

Hmm....

It never fails...

Thanks for hanging out with me during **CHEMISTRY WEEK**. Hope you learned a thang or two. And thanks for allowing me to be the nerd I am, lol.

My fire adventure will be continued, sometime next week.

Heavy Metal, Baby!

Note: ***CHEMISTRY WEEK*** is coming to a close. (Aww shucks! I have about 3 more posts to do! I may post 1 next week as a part of my normal posts)There's a chemistry lesson given in this post. I am double posting today, about a personal "experience", so a post will follow this one sometime today.

One of the more "interesting" experiences I've ever had in my scientific career is working with moisture- and air-sensitive materials. The most craziest thing about Organic chemistry is that air and water are enemy #1. I've also had experience with Organometallic chemisty, which is essentially organic chemistry combined with inorganic chemistry (think of inorganic chemistry as "metal" chemistry if you want).

Metals that we are familiar with, and use on a daily basis: iron, copper, nickel, silver, gold, platinum, mercury...

A couple of metals that I've worked with on a regular basis are sodium and lithium. You will see these below in the periodic table in the 1st column in yellow. (Na = sodium; Li = lithium).
Now, I don't plan to talk much about the periodic table. Just know that all of the elements are arranged by "family" and that all elements in a column is related. I'm just interested in that FIRST column that is in bright yellow above in the periodic table, where it begins with "H" (hydrogen), and continues with "Na" (sodium), "K" (potassium), and so on...

Now sodium ("Na") is a familiar metal... We are always told that we shouldn't have too much sodium in our diet. But we don't "eat" sodium metal. We eat Sodium chloride, that is, SALT.

Sodium chloride, in itself, is safe, to the point where we can eat it.

Here's the kicker: Sodium by itself is dangerous. Chlorine by itself is dangerous.

Chlorine, "Cl" above (element 17 in the periodic table above), is not a metal, a green poisonous gas. This is the reason for all those warning labels on the back of household cleaning products which say "DO NOT mix bleach". Because mixing the cleaning product with bleach may cause a reaction to produce chlorine gas. And you don't wanna be breathing that in, babes!

Now sodium "Na" metal is a whole nother animal. It is also extremely dangerous.

Sodium melts and catches fire when it comes in contact with water.

You may say... "Yeah, right". Well check out the following pictures.

Well, I found a few pictures for you.

Here is a demonstration of someone dropping a chunk of sodium with water. (I actually think this chunk is TOO BIG to be fooling with, but whatever. They worked it out.) Note: That is not me dropping that chunk into that water. My guess is that it's some adventurous white man, lol.

Once the chunk of sodium is dropped in the water, it begins to melt and bubble. The white stuff that is produced is sodium hydroxide, a compound real similar to lye.
Well, the reaction is exothermic. That means it gives off A LOT of heat. Hydrogen gas is produce, and the heat causes the hydrogen gas to ignite.
And ignition means "FIRE", babes.

GLORY!!!

It burns itself out pretty quickly, so that's all good.

But the problem becomes, as you go DOWN that first row in a periodic table, the fires produced when the metals react with water become more violent, more explosive in nature.

So, "Li" kind of just sizzles and skittles around on the surface of the water. There is some fire, but not bad.

"Na", Sodium metal does what it does, as seen in the pictures above.

"K", Potassium metal, gets a little worse. Let's just say, dude better stand his a$$ back a couple of feet.

"Rb", Rubidium metal, gives much worse fires, and an explosion to boot. Dude better drop a chunk of rubidium in the water and run for the frickin' heels.

"Cs", Cesium metal, well, it gives a crazy explosion. And dude used a chunk of sodium above. How about he better not do that? How about he better use the a piece of cesium no bigger than a tear drop?

If a tear drop-size piece of cesium is dropped in that bowl of water above, the explosion would've been so forceful as to break the glass.

"Fr", Francium metal, the last metal in the family... well, we won't talk about that. You can't even order francium metal, and if you do, somebody is looking at you REAL hard. You probably gotta sign all kinds of paperwork.

Why?

Because you're getting over into hydrogen bomb making issues then. And you don't want the Feds on you about THAT.

Nope. Not a good look seeing your behind face down on the ground in handcuffs. Or, it really ain't a a good look seeing you walking around with severe burns and no appendages because you had the notion to drop a piece of francium in some water, man.

For this reason, the metals just described must be store in non-air atmospheres (like, under nitrogen or argon gas) or stored under mineral oil. The big thing is to keep air away from these metals. Sodium "Na" metal will only corrode a little when it stands in air. You can actually see it go from shiny to white, if you leave a chunk just sitting on the counter. But as you go down the periodic row of that family, let's just say, you better not let it even come in contact with air, because the water vapor in the air is enough to cause ignition...

Well, your friendly neighborhood Oldgirl, has had or been around some "metal misadventures". (Yeah, that's what we will call them.)

LadyLee has even caught fire! (Imagine that!)

So... stay tuned for that... I may not get to it this week, but I am double-posting today, with a post leading up to that. (Don't worry, it is a short story). I can mix my "fire" posts in with next weeks normal post...

So stay tuned for my next post later today.

Until then, I found a very accurate youtube video which describes and demonstrates what i just talked about very nicely. These fellas use, metals dropped in bathtubs to uh, get there point across.

What Is That????

Sometimes when I come in late to work, or come back to work from some activity, people like to run up on me.

I mean, it's weird walking up on a crowd of folks, and everyone's looking at me.

"There's LadyLee. Come here, LadyLee, we have to show you something..."

This particular day, my fellow Docs (Dr. Sunshine and Dr. Hazel Eyes) and myself had made a run over to Spel.man College to have lunch and conversate with some young ladies, rising seniors, who were interested in careers in science. I balked at the idea at first, as I didn't feel like going anywhere giving no complicated chemistry talk. But this was just a little free lunch and question and answer session. And a chance to get away from the lab AND still be on the clock, lol.

It was a nice sunny day. "Dr. Sunshine" even let me drive her sleek Navigator. (This was not a good thing, as it caused me to ponder, have strange and intersting thoughts of having my own SUV. Hmm. I don't need to drive nobody's big trucks ever again!)

But I came back to the work that afternoon, and our group super-hero,Hen-Dog, said something strange:

"Lee, go put your stuff down. Let's go to the sample prep room. I want you to see something."

I peered at him curiously. I have to watch him. He might be trying to trick me or something.

"Come on, girl!"

I turned to Lady X, the youngest member of our little group, and she was staring at the two of us. "Lady X, what is he talking about?"

"Girl. . ." She shrugged and turned away.

I squinted hard at Hen-Dog. You have to watch Hen-Dog. He's just a bit. . .adventurous. (Yes, that's a good word for him.)

So we left our cubicle area, and walked down the hall back towards our labs.

We walked into the sample prep lab, and there was a large wrinkled brown paper bag sitting in the middle of the table.

"Go look in that bag," Hen-Dog said.

"No," I quickly said. I backed up towards the door, and the doorjamb hits me in the back.

"Girl, go look in the bag!"

"Hell no!" I said in my most unconvincing Miss Sophia way.

Hen proceeds to walk over to the table and shake the bag.

"Dude, that don't mean anything." I wasn't falling for no crazy trick. I had visions of whatever was in the bag jumping out and biting me.

He puts his face down in the bag. "See, there's nothing bad or anything. Come look at this."

I cautiously walk towards the bag and look inside. I shook the bag to make sure what I was looking at WAS NOT moving. I picked up one of the things and threw it on the table.

"Man, what is that????"

"It's something that came in for us to work on," he said.


"Why is it all hairy like that?"


"I don't know. It's some type of fruit."

We got a good laugh out of that. That is some strange looking ish.

I went and talked to "Lady X". I thumbed through her paperwork.

"Lady X, I know you were tripping out when you saw that."

She just shook her head, and groaned. (She spooks easily like me,lol.)

Turns out that that strange furry thing was a fruit called rambuton.

Now, being the closet phytochemist that I am, I always go look up strange stuff. As a matter of fact, my boss likes to call me and ask me about strange fruits and vegetables, and their characteristics. If I don't know, then I'll go track it down. And that's what I did with our little strange fruit here, the rambuton.

It's actually a popular fruit over in Southeast Asia, one of the most popular actually, and it is widely cultivated in many countries. It is also one of the top tropical fruits produced in Hawaii.
Yeah, that's all good, that it's popular and all that. But uh, I don't see myself craving those. Can you imagine saying:

"Mama, you going to the store? Bring me back some rambutans!"

Uh, no. But they are used in various food products, like jams and jellies.

"Mama! Bring me back some rambutan jelly!"

N'awl. That don't sound right either.

But I have a love of the phytochemistry and the health benefits of strange fruits and vegetables. I couldn't find much on the chemisty of it, which means it's not well studied. But I do have a few little fun facts for you.

Now, this is one fruit where many parts of the fruit tree are useful. A tea made from the roots of the tree is helpful for getting rid of fevers. You can also grind up the leaves and use those as a poultice. The bark of the tree is useful as an astringent for problems of the tongue. And the actual fruit is good for helping with digestion problems. It is also good for dialrrhea problems.

Whoever thought something so furry could be so useful? No wonder it's so popular in other countries.

Like I said, I couldn't find much chemistry on it (which makes it HIGHLY interesting to me). But I found out that this fruit has a seed in the middle. How did I find that out?

From our super hero, Hen-Dog.

"I tried one, Lee," he said.

"What it taste like?"

"Taste like a grape. And it has a big seed in the middle."

That doggone Hen-Dog will test out ANYTHING. He's not afraid of anything (This is why he's our super-hero.) One day, I brought in a drink I found made from rose petals and he was bold enough to take a sip... Dude will do anything!

Ahhhh... That seed, 'tis interesting. It contains a large amount of tallow, which is a type of fat used to make candles, soap, lubricants, all kinds of stuff like that. The testa of the seed (the hard outer coating) contains toxic chemicals.

Hmm... I don't think I will fool with that. How many times have you eaten fruit and swallowed some seed?

I'm sure that it's not enough toxicity in that seed to take me out, but uh, why don't I stick to my trusty apples and oranges...

I've seen these at my local farmer's market recently, over on the exotic fruits aisle. Didn't see all the shoppers crowding around them, though.

Yep. I think I'll stick to my trusty apples and oranges.

lol!

(But it is an interesting looking thing, isn't it?)

Light it up!

Note: With any story I tell during ***CHEMISTRY WEEK*** there will be a short chemistry lesson. This is for background purposes, so you'll understand what I'm talking about. Don't worry though, it will be something you can relate to:)

One of my first mishaps in the chemistry lab occured waaay back in 1989, and involves the compound to the left, which is called a diox.etane. Now you may not have heard of it, but you have seen them.

Remember those "glow in the dark" necklaces and bracelets you use to buy when you went to the amusement park or fair back in the day? (Do they still sell those?)

Well, you notice how those necklaces glowed, and then they started to fade?

The chemicals responsible for that are dioxe.tanes.

A better example: remember those fireflies we use to catch in Mason jars when we were little?

The chemical that caused them to light up is a diox.etane.

So I think you get the picture. Diox.etanes are a type of chemical compund that give off light.

The scientific term for this phenomena is chemiluminescenc.e (for the fireflies light, it is bioluminescenc.e.

Another point of interest: The compounds are also known as a type of peroxide.

Now, we all use hydrogen peroxide at home. I use it as an astringent, and I suppose you do to. But, what we use at home is 3% peroxide, 97% water. This is enough to give that "bubbling" effect that we see when we place it on a cut. It is essentially reacting with the cut.

But peroxide/water mixtures are available in different concentrations, but not to the general public though. Why?

Well, a mixture of 30% peroxide/70% water REALLY reacts with the skin. Let's just say that if you get some on your skin, it sounds like chicken frying in grease. (Not that dramatic, but that was the term I used for it, as you can hear the sizzle). The skin blisters and turns white and stays that way for a few days.

A 90% peroxide/10% water mixture - well... that has to be kept really, really cold. If I'm remembering correctly, at least -10 degrees celcius.

If it heats up to room temperature, it is EXPLOSIVE.

Uh, and that is bad.

Enough of the chemistry lesson.

My story. (Don't worry, it is short).

So...

When I was in undergrad, I did research in a lab that specialized in making new and interesting dioxet.anes. I was making 2400 bucks per summer doing this. (I was 19 and 20 at the time, and making that much money over the summer? You couldn't tell me I wasn't RICH!!)

Anyway, I made many of these and we did experiments to test the rate at which they decomposed, i.e., gave off light. That is what was happening with those glowing necklaces we bought at the amusement parks: the chemical in them was decomposing.

The issha with what I was doing is that we only made a small amount of these compounds at a time, only a few milligrams (even though these were usually thick liquids, think of it being no more than a pinch of salt.)

So, I had this conversation with my advisor one day.

"Dr. B, I need more of my diox.etane to test. It looks like I'm going have to do the reaction at least 5 times."
He leaned back in his chair and thought about it for a minute. "You don't have time for that. I need those for this paper I'm trying to get out."
"Well, it's only safe to make a little at a time," I said. I felt funny reminding him of this, as he was one of the pioneers in the field of dioxe.tanes.
"You can make a lot of it. Make about 3 grams of it."

I just stared at him. I really wanted to run from the room. One of the ingredients for making the dioxeta.nes was that frickin' 90% peroxide solution. I didn't want no parts of having that ish out of the deep freezer for too long.

"Dr. B, are you sure about that?"
"Yes, LadyLee. You can do that. I made about 6 grams once when I was at Har.vard."

I didn't really care about no dayum Harvar.d. I was more concerned about not blowing myself up.

"Are you sure," I repeated.
"You can do it, LadyLee. Just get it done."

I was apprehensive about it. We talked a bit longer about precautions (he knew I had a tendency to be a skeptic about stuff in general). But if I kept everything REAL cold, it would be all good. I discussed it with my lab partner Timmy-Tim (Cowgirl Cre's hubby). He has always been my lab road dog, and he thought I could do it.

If Timmy-Tim said I could do it... well, I could do it!

So, I did made a large batch of diox.etane. Incidently, you have to do this reaction in total darkness. But we got tired of that after awhile, and figured out how to do it with one of those red lights you use for developing photos. So, I hooked up my red lights, and did my reaction.

It went well enough and the final product looked good. It was a thick green gooey solution that looked like clear snot. Yeah, it looked okay. I made sure to keep it in a deep freezer, all nice and cold.

I was in the lab one day with this Indian dude. He was watching me fool around with my three grams of diox.etanes. I would remove the vial from the freezer, get a little with a dropper, then put it back up.

Well that ish heated up, I suppose. It couldn't have been no more than a few degrees, maybe 0 degrees.

It instantaneously went from snot green to black. There was a big flash of light.

Then it started spewing smoke. Thick white noxious smoke.

The Indian dude looked at me. I looked at him.

He yelled. "RUN!", then took off running.

I hesitated, but took off after him. I think I knocked over a chair in the process of getting out of the lab.

Man, when it was all said and done, that one little vial of solution smoked out the whole area. I think we were at the end of a hall and could just see thick white smoke at the other end. I thought the poor indian guy was going to have a heart attack. Me, well, I went and found a payphone. I remembered that my Mama was getting off from work around that time. She always hit past downtown past my school on her way home.

"Hey Lisa, what's going on," she said.
"Ma, pick me up on your way home."
"Why?" she asked.
"Don't worry about that. Just pick me up."

She picked me up. That was a Monday I believe. Heck, I think we stopped by the liquor store to get some beer or something. I was a nervous wreck. I told her what happened, and as I expected, she didn't understand.

I didn't go back to school for 3 days. Had decided that I would never go back. (Too much beer drinking, I suppose, caused THAT attitude.)

Timmy-Tim called me at home and we talked.

"Dr. B. said come back to school," he said. "He said we still love you."
"N'awl man! And you know what? He said it would be alright, and it wasn't."
"We still love you. Come back to school."

Well, after much coaxing, I did indeed show back up at school.

Anyway, we talked about that for a long time. I was really going off on the indian dude ("Man, how you gonna just take off running and leave me behind like that?"). The indian dude looked at me sideways for awhile after that. All, I know, he was older than the rest of us, maybe in his 40s, and he was a fast runner.

There was much discussion about what happened. Turns out, any bit of impurity, say a speck of dirt or something, causes these sensitive dioxetan.es to spontaneously combust or something like that.

*LadyLee giving Dr. B. the evil eye*

But I learned a big lesson: better follow directions, and don't do crazy stuff, even if the advisor says it's alright. I learned from that to stand my ground when I didn't feel comfortable doing certain things in the lab...

But that still didn't keep other mishaps, worse ones, from happening over the years...

Hmmm...

I am the Ultimate Nerd. . .

Every time I clean off the hearth of my fireplace, I have a certain memory that makes me smile. . .

That's because I can't help but think back to something that happened many years ago at the fireplace. Not my current fireplace, but at another.

In fact, I think of it everytime I see a fireplace.

It's burned into my memory.

And it makes me think of how much of a frickin' nerd I am.

~~fuzzy black lines, fade to black~~

The year was 1994. I was in graduate school at E.mory at the time. I lived out in Lithonia, an east Atlanta suburb, with a couple of friends.

I was excited because I was going to see my man that night. He lived way out in Vinings, a west Atlanta suburb, some 45 minutes away. This was nice, because our schedules were so different (he worked at night and I was in school all day). So whenever he had a night off, we would hook up. Plus, his roommate was out of town, which meant we had the apartment all to ourselves.

It was a bittercold night. I don't remember the day, but I remember that I had an old '73 Nova, and I really had to crank up that 20-year-old heater in that old car, just to keep warm (I had a big hole in the floorboard of the car, and air would rush in, you see). So when I got to his place, we decided to get a fire going and to watch television. He even cooked dinner for the two of us.

Those were the good ol' days, several years before we got married.

We were sooo young. Soooooo in love. ~sigh~

So, we'd been watching television, and we'd been drinking beer and wine. (I have NO idea how I ended up drinking wine, because I was not a wine drinker. I preferred beer, Boones, and malt liquor. Shoot, maybe it was that Strawberry hills Boones in my wine glass,lol). SOMEHOW (lol) we ended up on the floor in front of the fireplace fooling around.

One thing led to another, and we ended up making love on the floor in front of the fireplace. It was good, I must say, especially after spending 12 hours that day in the lab. I was a happy chick (maybe it was too much wine, lol).

There was no soft music. We were bootleg, you see. That means getting it on in the indigo glow of the television set.

So we're laying there afterwards, wrapped up in a tacky bedspread, basking in the afterglow, you know, talking, kissing and what not. . .

Then,

all of a sudden. . .

I sat straight up.

"What's wrong?" my man asked.

I pointed hard at the fireplace. He had placed my glass of wine over on the hearth of the fireplace. I frantically pointed at the glass, but was not immediately able to find the words.

"What's wrong?" he asked again.

"GET THE WINE!" I yelled. "GET THE WINE!"

"Why?" he asked. By this time, he was sitting up too, looking at me like I was crazy.

"It's too close to the fireplace!"

He looked at the glass then back at me. "No, it's not."

By this time, my heart is beating real fast and I'm really panicked.

"The ethanol!" I screamed. "Ethanol catches fire!"

"What?" he said.

"Wine contains ethanol! And ethanol catches fire! Move the wine before it catches fire!!"

"It's okay," he said. "Look, it's far enough away. And there's not even that much in the glass. It won't catch fire."

"No it's not okay! Ethanol, ethanol boils at. . .Ethanol boils at. . ."

Then I started crying REAL hard.

"I, I, I can't remember the boiling point of ethanol!!!"

I remembered my man snickering at the time, and he layed back down.

"Acetone boils at 56 degrees," I said through all my crying and hard gulps of air. "And ethanol boils at. . . I CAN'T REMEMBER THE BOILING POINT OF ETHANOL!"

He sat back up again and put his arms around me. He was doing his best to hold back his laughter.

"It's not funny. The wine is too close to the fireplace!!"

"Okay Lee, I'll move the wine." He reached over me and carefully picked up the wine glass and placed it on the coffee table. "Okay calm down now, the wine glass is on the coffee table. See? Look at it. It's alright now."

I looked from the wine to the fireplace, then back to the wine. I stopped crying. He laid me back on the floor and patted me on the head. I was a sniveling mess the rest of the night, scared that he'd put the wine back on the hearth of the fireplace.

That next morning, when I was getting ready for school, he asked me if I was alright. And he had that look in his eye, like he was doing ALL he could not to bust out laughing.

He walked me out to the car. I remembered it was around 5:30 a.m., and all was quiet outside.

I sat in the car, my hands firmly gripping the stirring wheel. I wouldn't even look at him. "Go head on and laugh," I said.

He leaned in the window and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He stood back up and got his laugh on. "It's alright. You just a nerd, that's all."

Yes I am... the ultimate nerd.

My man picked on me for a LONG time about that incident, even had the nerve to tell his friends about it. THEY even laughed at me.

And even though I didn't find it funny at the time, I can laugh about it now. . .

I talked about it with some of my fellow students at school the day after it happened.

After that, for a long time, the big joke was "What's the boiling point of ethanol, LadyLee?"

**LadyLee kicks the HARD eyeroll.**

Hmm. . .

Looking back, I wonder why I was so distraught?

Maybe school was stressing me all out. Maybe it was the mishaps in the lab... Or maybe I was just really concerned about that wine igniting from a spark from a flame. Maybe I was just drunk, and feeling uh, a bit TOO good, lol. I don't know.

One thing I can say for sure after THAT ... I am the Ultimate Nerd.

Fun Facts about LadyLee. . . Chemistry Style!

Like I said, this week is ***CHEMISTRY WEEK***

'Tis a chance, you see, for me to post a few of the stories I've had in cue for a while. Time to flush them out for the world to see.

Now here's a warning:

ALL of the stuff posted this week may not be funny to you, but it is funny to us chemists. We have little "war stories" we like to tell each other. I'm not sure how this all originated, but it's a chemist thing.

(Don't say you weren't warned, mayne.)

But this year is the 10th anniversary of my getting my Ph.D., and I thought I would commemorate it in some way.

So you may read some of the stuff that I write this week and see **crickets**, or be like, "Yo, that ain't funny. Not funny at all. That sounds DANGEROUS."

But realize, it is funny to us chemists. Like in any profession, some things are just funny amongst people in that particular profession.

And since this here is my blog, I wanted to post a few stories and other chemistry related things.

But some "fun" facts about me before we proceed...


1. So I graduated some 10 years ago in 1998. My Ph.D. is in Organic Chemistry, specifically Organic synthesis. More specifically, Drug design and structure-acti.vity relationships. Easiest way of explaining it. . . You can give me a chemical structure of a compound (say coc.aine, for instance), and I can deconstruct in my head and come up with a number of ways to synthesize it. Plus, I can come up with ways to tweak it's activity, i.e, add things to it to make it weaker. . . or stronger.



(Hmmmm.... I bet that little co.caine thing got your attention. Let's not talk about that. Let's move right along.)

So I'm bizarre. I think in structures. Anytime I hear the chemical name, I have a picture of it in my mind. I am constructing and deconstructing. Weird, but I can't control it! LOL LOL LOL

Now what made me go to school for this? Nope, wasn't no burning desire or passion for chemistry. (Eww. I shiver at the thought.) I liked it and all, for sure. But it helped that the programs pay all tuition AND give a fat stipend. (Little known fact: this is the case for most scientific disciplines. Gotta coax peeps into doing it.) So I went to school with no worries of student loans, free of charge. And that's a GOOD thang! (Ain't NO way I'd go through all that ish and have to pay for it. Chemistry is HARD. Are you kidding me??)

2. After the Ph.D., some people do what's called a Postdoctoral Fellowship, or what we call a "Post-Doc". This is a fellowship, lasting 2 years or more, where you get further training in your area of study. I ditched the whole organic synthesis thing, and did something a little different: I got a Post-Doc working with ter.mites down in New Orl.eans. Interesting, grinding up those suckers and figuring out what makes them tick. I studied wood chemistry, and why ter.mites liked certain woods and hated others. I figured out ways to separate those chemicals from the wood and test them with the termites. So as a result, I have a lot of entomology (study of bugs), analytical chemistry (opposite of organic synthetic chemistry), and microbology (study of microbes and fungus) experience. OH JOY!

Those were some of the WORST years of my life. Not a good look being one of a few blacks in that building. I KNEW that I was black when I was there. GEEZ. We won't go into all that.

But I was useful. I coauthored a couple of papers during my 2.5 year stay. And having an organic chemist around is a good thing. I was able to find other organic chemists in other parts of the world who had rare organic compounds we needed for our ter.mite studies.

"That's not available, LadyLee!" my boss would say.

"No sir. Everything's available! Someone has that compound in the bottom of their freezer somewhere!"

**Boss is silent and red-faced as LadyLee hands him the email address of some obscure organic chemist over at some obscure college in Italy**

3. So currently, I work in food chemistry. Some folks who know me know what I do, and I won't detail it here. It involves regulatory chemistry, which was a BIG gear shift from research based chemistry. I mean, I had to change my thinking something drastic. I somewhat like what I do, but it bores me, and my boss knows this (which is funny). I make good money, so I will hold tight for a minute (but I think about other ventures... hmm).


4. I am a closet phytochemist, i.e., I LOVE thinking about the chemical components and properties of plants, fruits, and veggies. There are a couple of phytochemistry posts coming up this week, hopefully. I would LOVE to get an associate professorship somewhere and teach it and have my own research group. (I even co-authored a paper a while back involving canta.loupe response to ultraviole.nt light (i.e., simulated sunshine) in a journal called Phy.tochemistry a few years ago. So you know... there is an interest there.)

But uh, I have to wrap my head around the 20% salary cut I would take if I stopped doing what I do now to go and teach.

But I think I like phytochemistry because it encompasses ALL the different areas of work and research I've been involved in over the past 18 years (geez, has it been THAT long?!)

Hmmm... An Oldgirl has to get her faith straight. I REALLY have to work my faith out concerning such.

Really though.

5. One of the most rewarding things I've done is go to schools and talk to kids about chemistry, or do demonstrations. I haven't done that in a good 7 years or so, and I do miss it. I've even taught chemistry classes for 6 and 7 year-olds. (Yes, there is such a thing. What didn't I know about such programs as a child?)

It bothers me that I don't see many black kids in such programs. It is something else when a black parent walks up and say how they are SO glad that their child gets to see one of "US" teaching. It means a lot to them. There are a lot of programs out here for our kids that we don't know about. And we have some smart kids, so come on, parents... Get your kids in some of these programs.

6. I have some experience dealing with moisture-sensitive compounds, i.e., stuff that catches fire if it gets in contact with water, air, and what-not. One of the more interesting projects I've worked on is compounds that give off light when they decompose.

Sometimes ish can go wrong with air and moisture sensitive stuff. It makes for some interesting fire stories...

So there are a few fun facts about the Oldgirl...

"You're such a nerd, LadyLee!!!" you may say.

Yes.

Yes, I am. . .

And, doggonit, that's why we're having **CHEMISTRY WEEK**

LOL!!!

Now enough of my background...

On to the funny-funny...

Things That Make You Swat at *CrIcKetS*

I received the following photo in an email from a couple of coworkers.

It was suggested as "A wish for all the Difficult people in your life."



Hmmm...

First of all, what deranged mind came up with that?

Second, who knows anyone THAT difficult?

Third, I would love to give that to management right now. WOULD LOVE IT.

Oh... wait a minute, I am a part of management right now. Albeit temporarily.

My boss is on a detail doing something else for six weeks, and each of us (her lowly peasants) are taking turns (one of us a week) in the supervisory role.

Now, I PRIDE myself on not ever being chosen for a managerial role. It is well known that I have no love for management, as they have thrown this Oldgirl under the bus many a time (I have permanent tire marks on my face). A Scapegoat bumper sticker is slapped across my forehead from time to time. I don't care to be a member of their "elite" crew. So I make sure that I don't volunteer for JACK, and don't know how to do nothing extra.

Yeah, I know that sounds crazy. They've just worked your girl a bit too, uh hard, over the last 7 years. Let's just say I've been supervisor for only one day in the past 7 years, and it was during the holidays when EVERYBODY was gone and there was no chance for some craziness to pop off. And yeah, ONE TIME is enough for me to slap on my curriculum vitae that I have managerial experience.

But, my very pregnant boss, The Darth Sista T, ran up on me a couple of weeks ago.

"LadyLee, you're acting [supervisor] next week."

*LadyLee stunned beyond belief. *Crickets* fly around her head*

"Nawl, man!" I yelled a bit too loudly.
"Oh yes," Darth sista said.

And she had a smirk on her face and a funny look in her eye. It was that look that said "It's been awhile since I've thrown your a$$ under the bus, Oldgirl."

Of course, the Infamous Hen-Dog got a kick out of this.

"LadyLee, I'ma need you to put on the high heels and a suit."
"Hell no!" I yelled.

I don't dress up for work. On the VERY rare occasions that I do, the guys like to bend down with a tissue and pretend to shine my pumps. Not a good look.

They can deal with my usual bummy labwear (sneakers and sweats). And I will go to a meeting like this. That way, that will be the very last time they will have me attend a meeting. LOL!

And the past few weeks have been VERY quiet in the lab. But on my week, we get swamped. So that means some long 10-12 hour work days all week for me. It is only Thursday, and I am a very tired Oldgirl.

But... I have been very sure to WHINE to my boss. I've been blowing the Darth Sista's phone up something terrible

*Phone rings*
Darth Sista T: "Hello? "
LadyLee: "Man, I got a question!"

*Phone rings*
Darth Sista T: "Yes."
LadyLee: "Yo, how do I do blah, blah, blah?"
Darth Sista T: "I'll be right over there."

*Phone rings*
Darth Sista T: "What?"
LadyLee: "Look here, I'm confused. What's up with blah, blah, BLAH!?"
Darth Sista T: Sighs hard. "It's easy, girl. Just do A, B, then C."
LadyLee: *crickets*
Darth Sista T sighs hard again. "I'll be over there."

LOL!!

That's what she gets. I think I call her, or worse, RUN UP on her at leat 10-15 times a day.

And she don't like that ish. She's pregnant and wants NO PART of my whining. She squints hard at me like my mama use to do when I was up to no good.

Yes, I complain like the next person.

But I won't embrace the complaint. I WILL EMBRACE THE SOLUTION.

I will work my 10-12 hour days. I make some SERIOUS to do lists everyday, and it feels good to look back and see that I've made some progress that day. I've been wailing real hard about my time management skills deep in the coffers of my personal journals lately.

"There is time to work. There is time to play. The thing is, there is no time to waste." (LadyLee 2008)

So I've come up with some pretty good ideas for my own personal time management in the future.

And that's a good thang!!

And, this whole acting supervisor thing is like a hairdo: TEMPORARY. It will be over on Friday.

Really though.

The other solution is to put the role of "toilet paper" pictured above in the supervisors secret little bathroom... next week, when I'm not one of them.

I've learned much. (Don't tell the Darth Sista that).

And I've learned that managing scientists is like managing cats. I've learned that I don't care for administrative duties. I'd rather skip along like a smurf, thank you very much, and work on self management...

Yeah.

Exciting news... Next week is **CHEMISTRY WEEK**

It is not what you think...

You know how I like to flip the script, and do things LADYLEE style...

Now, us chemists have interesting war stories, i.e., stories about times where we almost blew something up, etc. We sit around and retell these stories of old to each other. In some cases if tow or more of the people involved in the craziness are present at the retelling of the said stories, we do reenactments. We do this because it is AMAZINGLY funny, ESPECIALLY if we come out of the whole bit of drama unscathed.

Blog fam yells... "Yeah, we hear you LadyLee, but that sounds boring complicated!"

Shut. Up.

This here my blog. And trust, the ish will be funny.

Here's a taste of one of the posts (rough draft).

So...

The year was 1994. I was with my man that night at his apartment in Vinings, a west Atlana suburb. It was a cold winters night and we had a nice fire crackling in the fireplace.

I was in graduate school at the time, and had come over to spend the night because he had a night off. (He worked at night).

We'd been looking at television, and SOMEHOW (LOL) ended up on the floor, in front of the fireplace fooling around and such. .

We ended up making love. It was good, I must say. Plus, I'd been drinking, both beer and wine. (I have NO idea how I ended up drinking wine, because I was NOT a wine drinker. I preferred Beer, Boones, and Malt Liquor. Hey, maybe it was the cheap Boones in that wine glass.)

There was no soft music. We were bootleg, you see. That means getting it on in the indigo glow of the televison.

So like I said, we made love in front of the fireplace. And we're laying there, wrapped up together in a bedspread in the afterglow, you know, talking and kissing and what not...

Then. . .
All of a sudden. . .

(To be continued.)

Yeah, I don't know, but I think that got your attention.

LOL!

Don't worry. I ain't going erotica on you. No way.

This is some CHEMISTRY week craziness. Been wanting to do this for a good year or so, so let me indulge my, uh... nerdiness.

I was sitting here telling the full story to a couple of chemists, Cowgirl Cre and Ol' Mean Ass Cynthia. Cowgirl Cre laughed real hard. Ol' Mean Ass Cynthia peered at me curiously and cracked a smile (and that is a lot for her to crack a smile).

Like I said... maybe it's a chemist thing. I'll let you decide.

But we gonna test this out. Come back next week and see.

Stay tuned.