21 Years Later

It has been 21 years since the worst terrorist attack on American soil.

 

That is a long time ago, but right now, I am watching a special on the National Geographic Channel, and it sure is bringing back some memories, making if feel like it happened yesterday. 

 All I know, one thing is a constant when I think of the events of 911. And that is, I continue to be SHOCKED that this type of craziness does not happen often in the USA. We have had terrorist activity since then, but not on this scale. I am thankful for that, because I don't think we as a country could mentally handle it. I know I couldn't. 

 But it is one of those days where we all remember where we were and what we were doing. I have been on my current job for 21 years now, but back then, I had only been on the job for three weeks. I was at a regulatory course in Denver at the time. I was stunned and momentarily confused about how I would get home. I got home later that week, on a Friday. My plane had been delayed by close to two hours. I remember other coworkers who were headed home to New York had worse delays. 

But my prayer was to get back home to Atlanta, period. And I did. But I do remember the sense of uneasiness I had for a couple of days before taking my flight that Sunday, September 9th, 2001, to the training from Atlanta to Denver. I have not felt that type of uneasiness since, just some unexplainable uneasiness. And then when the tragedy happened, I remember saying aloud... that's what it is. That's why I have been beside myself. 

My Pastor mentioned these feelings some two weeks later. It was a hard unsettling in the spirit. I was glad to have it explained. So if I feel that away again, I know what it means. And I must say, I don't want to ever feel that way again. Ever.

But now I just take time to think about it. 

21 years later now. 

And the hard lesson I have learned is that not only what happened that day was such an awful tragedy, but the residual effects of the tragedy are devastating in their own right. So many families who lost loved ones were changed forever, the emotional loss still felt 'til this present day. I know the wounds are still fresh. Will they ever heal?

I whisper a prayer for them. 

And I pray for our country. 

As we take time to remember this day. 

Friday Freestyle: 9-11 Editon

Friday is here.

This week went by super fast. Which is really a good thing, since I am sitting at home. I am attending a conference right now, which is holding about 50% of my interest, if that. I am picking up little nuggets of information here and there. Nothing mind blowing. Right now it is just something to do, I suppose.

Today is 9-11, the anniversary of perhaps one of the most tragic events in the history of our country. (And I am speaking modern history within the last 50 years or thereabout). I tell you right now, I am SHOCKED that such an occurrence has not happened on that scale multiple times in our country since then. Just shocked. So at the same time, I am so thankful that we have been relatively safe from such large scale tragedy of that type.

I remember where I was. I have been on my job for 19 years now, and I had only been on this job for about three weeks when the Towers fell. I was at a conference. I cannot remember the name of the conference. It was in Denver, Colorado, and it was work-related.

I remember for a few days prior, this overwhelming sense of foreboding. (I have been trying to think of a word to describe what I was feeling... "foreboding" is the word for it). Something was wrong. And I automatically thought that I shouldn't fly to Denver, but that wasn't it. I flew there, made it there safely, and attended my first day of meetings. And a day later, on a Tuesday morning, when those jets hit those towers, I heard loud and clear on the inside... that was what's wrong.

I have not felt that way about anything sense then. It may be that my mind and heart are so cluttered, that I don't get quiet enough to hear much of anything. I don't know. I just know, if I don't have to feel that way ever again, fine by me. FINE.

What I do understand now is one thing, and it has been the subject of many a food-for-thought on this blog over the past 15 years:

Not only is the tragedy immediately devastating, but the long term residual effects of it are devastating, even much so.

Residual effects.

The residue of what is left behind after the clean up is over.

The mental residual effects. The mental residue.

That is what we are living in now... the residual effects of 9-11. 

And we will soon be hopefully living with the residual effects, the residue, of the coronavirus...

And we will survive it all.

Believe that.

Amen.

Chadwick Boseman, 1977-2020. Rest in Peace. Wakanda Forever

Rest In Peace, Toni Morrison. 1931-2019

50 Years Ago Today...

RIP Winnie Mandela

Lives Lost

Lives lost.

50 lives lost.

Such a tragedy. Tragedy is not a strong enough word for what happened in the early morning hours of Sunday morning. But it is the only word we have to describe the horrific event.

All kinds of thoughts are going through my head: thoughts drenched in confusion, anger, sadness and such.

But one thought in particular outshines all of that.

Soon all the cameras will be gone. All the discussion will be over. And the next mass shooting will take the space and place of this one (and you know there will be other mass shootings).

But you, the family of those who lost their lives that night, are left alone with the ache of losing your loved one. You can't go on to the next thing. I know it's a hurt that may never heal.

My thoughts, prayers and sympathies are for those who lost someone they love. People lost their children that night. My heart goes out to those families.

My  thoughts are with a community that will never be the same again.

And my thoughts and prayers are with the LGBT community, who are constantly vilified, but have been vilified in the worst possible way.

And for that, my thoughts are with you.

My prayers are for you to heal. 

RIP Muhammad Ali, 1942-2016

RIP Earth Wind and Fire's Maurice White, 1941-2016

Maurice White, the lead singer of Earth Wind and Fire passed today, February 4, 2016.

I love some Earth Wind and Fire.

That is the music of my childhood.  Real music.

Here's a great video of Earth Wind and Fire and Natalie Cole.

And it is the most awesome thing I've seen all year.



Like I said, I love Earth Wind and Fire.

Always have.

Always will.

RIP Natalie Cole, February 6, 1950 - December 31, 2015

Bad news on the first day of the New Year.

Natalie Cole passed on New Years Eve.

When someone who I grew up listening to dies, it reminds me of how we are getting older.

A couple of my favorite songs.

This was a song I remember from my childhood. I would sing along whenever it came on the radio.



And this one is for Cowgirl Cre. She and sisters use to sing this one when they were little. I'd never heard it until I was in my mid-thirties...

In Memoriam... 16th Street Baptist Church

Today is the 52nd anniversary of the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama.

Here's the church as it stands today.

It looks as nothing so tragic ever happened there.

The bomb was planted under the stairs. 4 little black girls lost their lives that day.

I wonder what would have become of their lives. 

The first African American female Secretary of State was friends with one of them. She heard the bomb go off at the church while she was at home.

I wonder what would have become of their lives had they lived? What "firsts" would have they accomplished.

We'll never know.  But it does attest to the importance of every child's life.

RIP Oscar-Tyrone... October 1997- October 13 2014

Oh man.

I tell you it was so hard to go and find Oscar-Tyrone gone this morning.  It was to the point that I didn't want to go check on him. I knew he would be gone. But when Tazzee texted to ask how he was doing I said not too good. I'd just woke up and wasn't looking forward to it. But I opened the hall closet door, and looked in.

And there he was, looking as if he was sleeping peacefully. All day yesterday, he would look up, and he would look up at me with that familiar surley scowl, as if to say "Gal, would you close that door?"

He didn't look up this time. He wasn't asleep. I shook his shoulder.

He was gone.

And I cried.

Poor Callie Jo is all confused, not knowing what's going on. She sat and watched wide-eyed as I put on some latex gloves and grabbed some plastic bags and removed his body. I placed him in a box I had ready for the past few days next to the closet.

That was so hard. But I was ready. But man... my heart wasn't ready.

He lived a good 17 years... He was my ex-husband's cat and he didn't want to break our cats up. So I was a little miffed that I had to take care of him. I guess it was just that he was a constant reminder of love lost.

But the Oldcat grew on me. He became more surley over the past couple of years. I guess a bad liver and gall bladder had him like that.

But 17 years is a long time. He has lived in many places, even in New Orleans.

And ya'll know how he do with his party beads...

Yes. He knew how to keep it gangster.

That's OT for you.

No one mean mugs like him. Human or animal. No one.

And there were many times when I was running around looking for him, only to find him staking me out from the beams above my living room.

He hasn't been well enough to get out on those beams in over a year now. I missed him out there.

And he even tried to get along with the feisty Callie Jo... She spent time grooming him in his last days. I think she knew that it was time to get serious and not give him a hard time.

Dear Original Oldcat...

Thanks for hanging with this Oldgirl for all these years. You were so good. Too good for me.

And now you're gone.

Thanks for always being there with me...

Rest in peace.

Love,

LadyLee.

Rest in Peace Ruby Dee Davis, 1922-2014

RIP Maya Angelou... 1928-2014

22 years ago, when I'd first started grad school at a prestigious school in my city, I had a chance to see Maya Angelou give a speech.

I didn't jump at the chance to go. I'd seen the announcement in the school paper, but one of my Jewish classmates was so excited and wanted me to go with him. I was much more interested in the latest Chronic CD and some Snoop Dogg than Maya Angelou visiting our campus and giving a speech. I'd seen the movie I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. But I wasn't interested in going.

After much talk and discussion, I actually broke down and went with him.

I found it to be a very good speech. I, like everyone present in the auditorium, sat quietly listening to her words of wisdom.

Some 22 years later, something she said stuck with me:

She said that when you go out into the world, to give an interview, to speak before people, or whatever it may be, you are not alone. Your family is there with you, your ancestors are present with you. All these people go with you to handle whatever it is you have to handle.

And that stuck with me. In the midst of all the nervousness and uncertainty when standing before people, I have always reminded myself that people who love me unconditionally are with me. They have help shape me into the person I am, so therefore they are with me in these situations.

And that, at times, has made all the difference. You know how I am, I will spend time chewing on something like that. And over the years, it has meant different things at different times. She sowed a good seed in me that day. She sure did.

If you get a chance, go read a write-up of her life over on wikipedia. (She has written 7 autobiographies... wow. I never knew that).

What an intense life she has lived, packed tight with all the ups and downs and in betweens.

What a loss.

I am just glad some 22 years ago, my classmate said "Lee, you gotta go see Maya Angelou. I love her. She's awesome. Go with me. You want me to get your ticket?"

I am glad I said yes.

Very glad indeed.

RIP Nelson Mandela, 1918-2013

Food for Thought: Tragedy... and Residue.

Today is September 11, 2012.

As of eleven years ago, that date is seared in our hearts and minds forever. And we can all recount exactly where we were the day the towers fell and so many lost their lives instantly...

I know I can. I have written about it over the past anniversaries on this blog and in my personal journals. I was one of those on job travel at the time, way out in Denver. I remember air travel being shut down. I remember standing in the long lines to catch my plane back home. I remember looking around and seeing the fear in the eyes of everyone when air travel resumed. We all wanted to make it home safe. Safe and alive.

Alas, time has passed. We go on with our lives. Life doesn't stop because of the tragedy that occurred. Time stands still for no one.

I am mindful and thankful for the fact that in all these years we haven't had another major attack. Yes, yes, you may say that we are highly protected. And yes that may be true. But I have a doctorate in chemistry. And my masters degree involved explosive type chemicals.

Let's just say another blogger who's an expert in his related field and I were talking a few years back, and uh... let's just say, it's WAY too easy to tare up stuff... I will leave it at that.

But that hasn't happen. Thank goodness for that.

So we all mourn. We all are afraid. Eventually we all go on with our lives. And for a couple of years after the anniversary of 9-11, we held our collective breaths, afraid that something else would happen on the anniversary of that tragic day.

Nothing happened. And with each year, the memory of it is gets smaller and smaller as we stare at it in our rear view mirrors.

We have our memories... and a tall Freedom tower stands in the place where so many died that day.

But you know there is residue: the mental anguish associated with losing someone or something, long after the tragic events have occurred. There are people that day that lost brothers, sisters, mothers, uncles, aunts fathers, husbands, wives and friends...

And they are dealing with the residue of that loss.

All these years later.

One of my favorite personal quotes, and we will call this a LadyLee postulate of sorts...

Not only is the tragedy devastating, but the long term residual effects of the tragedy are also devastating, even more so. 

I myself have written numerous times about this "residue" in the pass, whether it be after a tragic event or as a result or consequence of our own bad choices and decisions.

I think about it often. And my prayer is with those who, some 11 years later, still lay awake at night and are visited with the memories of loved ones... and they are having trouble moving past what happened. We don't hear much about those people. Their stories are difficult realities to portray to a public who loves happy stories and even happier endings.

I myself have to think on the residue from the tragedy in my own life that haunts and bothers me to this day to even hope to relate just a little to those who have had tragedy in their own lives directly related to what happened on September 11, 2012.  We all have had events in some point in our  lives that have affected us in a terrible way.

For myself there have been a myriad of things, which I won't discuss here. (You thought I was longwinded... you don't want to see longwinded, honey.).

But there is one loss that I think about around this time. I think about the loss of my friend, that popular blogger who I called ATLien Nikki... I think of her around this time. It is close to a couple of weeks after the anniversary of her passing. She passed on August 30, 2009, and I purposely didn't write about my feelings- that "residue"- last week as others did. Mostly because I just wanted to be alone with my feelings to examine my thoughts..

I must say that I still, some 3 years later, get teary-eyed over her loss...

Continued tomorrow....