A Slave and a Spaceship

So...   

I like rap music, but as I get older, I find that I prefer more experimental rap (and of course, old school rap). I in no way can listen to much of any current rap, as I do not understand it. You can have the current "mumble" rap. Take it far away from me, please.

But I like the group Clipping.  It is an industrial noise rap group. Industrial noise rap tends to be a bit too much to me, but I find that this group's music has at least has a little order to it (if "order" is the right word to use). The rapper of the group is an actor in the popular Hamilton broadway play.  When I saw him in clips of Hamilton, I thought "Daveed is a rapper. What is he doing in a play?"

They released a CD earlier this month that I absolutely LOVE.

It's a concept CD, and any time I can find a CD that strings the songs together into a story, I'm a happy Oldgirl.

The name of it is Splendor and Misery, and it's about a slave who takes over a spaceship and his mental and emotional issues concerning the whole ordeal.

And best of all, he is rapping over the sounds of space and the spaceship.

How creative is that? Who would've ever thought of sci-fi rap?

I was washing dishes when I first listened to it. There was much *blink*blink*crickets*blink*blink on my part.  But I like it the more I listen to it. (Maybe that's because I am a big sci-fi fan). There a couple of times that I thought dude was running from some aliens. Yikes. I think I would've dropped a glass in the sink and ran if that happened!

The cover of the CD is unnerving. If you look closely at the man's upper body, he's a astronaut, and his bottom half is that of a slave man (chains and ragged pants).

Ugh.

I gave it a listen. And I liked it. It even wove in some of what I thought were old negro spirituals.

I have had to listen to it a good 10 times to "get it". I am waiting for someone to post up all the lyrics, because I am sure it reads like a long short story of sorts.

And I must say that I enjoy it much. It is most definitely one of my favorite CDs of the year so far. I like every song. And I can count on one hand the number of CDs where I like EVERY song.

Here's a link to the full CD. It's short for a concept CD (some 38 minutes), but it packs a punch. I would have loved if this was made into a visual album. WOW.



Enjoy... if you dare.

Learning to Forgive ME

One of my coworkers gave me a copy of Kelly Price's CD and I like listening to it at work while sitting at my desk crunching data. Unless someone gives me some current urban music, there's no way I'll hear it. I don't care to sift through all the trash to get to the true gems.

And this song, "I'm Sorry" is a gem. It gave me pause. I posted the words if you can't listen to the song.





I'm sorry that I'm leaving
I'm sorry that I stayed
I'm sorry that I ever let you treat me that way
And I'm sorry that I let a good man get away

But I accept my apology
I'm gonna do better by me
I wrote this song to say I forgive me

For the times I needed me
And every time I slacked
I'm sorry I gave him my love
And he didn't love me back
And I'm so sorry I gave him my heart
I want it back

But I accept my apology
I'm gonna do better by me

I wrote this song to say I forgive me
For the wasted time I know I'll never see again
For the drama and the lies that live inside my head
And for loving you (more) when I didn't even love myself
And for every bridge I burned I know I can't return

But I accept my apology
I'm gonna do better by me
I wrote this song to say I forgive me

I wrote it to say I love me
I wrote this song to say
I forgive me


LadyLee's Thoughts


Man. I wish that there were more songs of substance like this on the radio. Maybe then I would listen to the radio. Otherwise I will just deal with the delight of stumbling across them.

She sure did hit on a lot of mess, didn't she?

I can relate to everything in that song.

1. I've stayed in a ratchet relationship for longer than I should have.
2. I've let a joker treat me any kind of way.
3. I've let a good man get away.
4. I've needed me, and I wasn't there for myself.
5. I've been slack.
6. I've given my love and haven't been loved in return.
7. I've wasted time that I can't get back.
8. I've been caught up in drama.
9. I've built some crazy images based on assumption in my head... and acted out on them.
10. I've loved a sucker more than I've loved myself.
11. I've burnt bridges.

I've done all of that. And I can probably add 100 more things to that. And I'm still doing some of those things... sigh.

This song/ It really deals with an interesting subject matter: forgiveness.

The courage to say I'm sorry.

Saying I'm sorry to yourself, no less.

Forgiving oneself is really hard to do.

For me, it means I have to sit down in my quiet time and really truly acknowledge my mess.

And no one likes to look at their own mess.

Let's face it, we all got mess in our lives. If we don't have mess in our lives now, trust... we don't have to look too far to find it. As a matter of fact, we can travel down the narrow back corridors of our minds...

Yes, those dark dank dirty halls, with the unmentionable stories scrawled high on the walls...

And come across some mess.

We all have a past. Juicy, messy, bizarre, tragic, or otherwise.

And it's like a bright light, a beacon of sorts, off to the side of our minds. We're looking straight ahead, moving forward, achieveing and accomplishing great things... in the midst of that small light off to the side, which represents the past mess.

Or the present mess we hide from others.

I don't want to call it mess.  I want to call it that ol' bullsh**.

But this is a rated PG blog.

And the Book of Cuss will remain closed tight with a rubberband and buried in my backyard.

But it is what it is.

I'm convinced that nothing happens until we face it.

Because we think about "it" just before we drift off to sleep... when we are alone in the dark with our personal thoughts.

I know we are serious when we say, "I'm going to deal with this, and I don't care what people say about me."

Because that is part of the problem within itself: the worry of "What will people think or say?"

But we are definitely serious when we look at our situation and say "I messed up. I acknowledged that I handled this all wrong. I own up to it."

And we take it a step further... and apologize to ourselves.

We forgive ourselves.

That's when the reminders slowly fade away. Yes they are a part of us.

But they cease to be the albatross around our necks.

And they become the stepping stones upon which we step to climb higher up the mountain to growth, maturity and personal peace.

This has been a janky week for me. One in which I've had to forgive myself for a few things that are bothering me pretty badly. And they are things that are not my fault and I can't do anything about.  I wish I had a big eraser, and I could just erase it all.

Shoot man, I almost have to sit down and write a letter to myself.

But the major goal is to forgive myself, dust myself off, and move on.

That's the only way to let things go.

This has been another song that makes me think. Always good for blog fodder, I suppose.

And that's a good thing.

How it Make you Feel...

This is an interesting song... I really like it.



Tell me how you'd feel if I was, if I was gone?Tell me how you'd feel?Tell me how you'd feel if I was, if I was gone?Tell me how you'd feel?

What if I was gone forever?No more chocolate kisses, no nappy dugout everNo mama, no daughter, no sister, no, no sister friendsTell me my brother, what would become of you then?
What if, poof, every black female in the world disappeared?
Your man-child left unattendedLost when no one behind the steerin' wheelTell me, c'mon, how would that make you feel?C'mon, c'mon, help a sister say

Tell me how you'd feel if I was, if I was gone?Tell me how you'd feel?Tell me how you'd feel if I was, if I was gone?Tell me how you'd feel?

Your beautiful brown would be forever goneWhen no more cocoa wombs to carry your brown onYou right there, would be the last of your kindCan you feel this song? How does that affect your mind?
'Cause if there was no me, there'd be no youOoh, can you feel me? Is this song comin' through?That's the science in it but it's so much more intenseReach into your soul for the answerReach wherever you need to, to find it

Tell me how you'd feel if I was, if I was gone?Tell me how you'd feel?Tell me how you'd feel if I was, if I was gone?Tell me how you'd feel?

Say you be trippin', say you pimpin' itTalkin' 'bout how you da manWhat you are is somethin' differentBy-product of when massa ruled your lifeSpreadin' babies everywhere, couldn't think, couldn't care
But you can now, you can, you canC'mon and man up, damn it
Tell me how you'd feel?No mama, no daughter

Tell me how you'd feel if I was, if I was gone?Tell me how you'd feel?Tell me how you'd feel if I was, if I was gone?Tell me how you'd feel?
Tell me how you'd feel if I was, if I was gone?Tell me how you'd feel?Tell me how you'd feel if I was, if I was?

LadyLee's Thoughts.

Hmm...

This is an interesting song. I personally like that it isn't the typical booty shake song. I'm to old for that and could care less about such. And you've read here long enough, you know I like a good beat and melody.

And it's a song that brings up interesting subject matter:

What if all the black women just up and poof... disappeared?

And why would anyone ever pose a question?

You know why. Because we are villified. We are sometimes looked at in a negative light.

Any which way you look at it, we are not held up on a pedestal like a white woman.

So Jill poses the question to a brother. I suppose those brothers who love themselves some white women.

Now I myself don't care who is with who. Maintaining a healthy relationship, both people being the same race or of different race, is paramount. Maintaining. It takes 2 people who love themselves. That surpasses race.

That's just my opinion.

And it pains me to be with a bunch of black women somewhere, and a brother walks in with a white woman on his arm.

Man, the huffs and puffs and cuss words under the breath rumble like low thunder. And what was once a good time turns into a mess.

And we aren't mad you see. We aren't pissed.

We're just hurt.

We weren't good enough for that brother.

Nevermind that we are a powerful group. POWERFUL and NECESSARY and of HIGH WORTH. (Well that's how I view myself. I reject anything different. We must learn to love ourselves... really).

I myself have TRAINED myself for many many years to think otherwise. My first thought will ALWAYS be... there are two people there who are in love. And they are together. I have no right to assume anything. That would be wrong.

I made a conscious decision years ago to feel that way. I refuse to get myself all stressed out.

That is the proper way to view it for me. If that's not the case, i.e., this brother is with this white woman, and she is a trophy, he hates black women, thinks we are all crazy, and it makes him feel good about himself to have a white woman... then...

We have a man with a self-esteem problem.

And honestly, who wants to deal with that, especially if he doesn't recognize it within himself and doesn't honestly work on it?

You and I don't want him. Becky can have him.

Trust me: HE WILL EVENTUALLY BECOME A PROBLEM FOR BECKY.

Hear me now and believe me later on that. Believe that.

That's just my personal view. Yours may be different. Everyone has a different take on these things. You must admit though, that they are painful things for many black women to talk about. Many of us have no one, and feelings can erupt like a volcano.

Anyway, this song reminded me of a convo I had with my brother when he was in high school. It was funny, but at the same time it wasn't because I meant what I said.

He asked me one day, "How would you feel if I dated a white girl?"

My self trained answer was "Well, if that's who you like or love, and she makes you happy, then good. If you're happy, I'm good. You can't worry about what people say. Be happy, man," I said.

"Okay," he said.

"However," I said. I peered at him over the top of my glasses, which had slid down on my nose. "Don't you forget, we were the ones who raised you, changed your diapers, took care of you when you were sick, and made sure you lived day to day."

"Okay," he said.

"Now," I continued. "Whoever you love is who you love. Black, white, indian, asian, mexican, Martian, whatever. That's what's important."

"Okay," he said with a head nod.

"Now if you walk up in my house with a white woman on your arm and you think you all that because you have a white woman, and you expect me to wait on her hand and foot, and I pick up on this, we gonna have problems. You and your white woman will end up head first in that fireplace."

My brother had a look of shock on his face.

I meant what he said. I don't like tomfoolery and drama. At all.

I haven't had a problem with the boy at all. I know he has dated white girls. One lived in a trailer park, and her family fit that trailer park stereotype. Let's just say nicely that uh... they didn't like the young negro.
I asked him a question... "Is it worth it?"

A question that really has nothing to do with race really. A good question to ask ourselves if we are caught up in some ratchetness.

He said no.

A good answer.

I could go on, but I won't.

This song by Jill Scott is some good music.

Good music makes me ponder. We don't have much current music that forces you to form a thought in your head. Much of it is chewing gum for the brain. Either that or I'm getting old.

This song is no chewing gum. It had me thinking long after the last notes of the the song have been sung.

And that's a good, satisfying thing.

Dancing to the Edge...

So I was in the lab, crunching out some data. An interesting song came on my Curtis Mayfield station on Pandora...

I got a little excited. "Hold up, this that Snoop Dogg "Next Episode" right here!"

Not quite, though.




I frowned. I thought "Hold up, why is Snoop's "The Next Episode" on the Curtis Mayfield station? This is suppose to be all oldies!"

No, it wasn't Snoop. He sampled this cut by David Axlerod.

Then I was thinking. "Oh Snap! President Obama's campaign manager makes records on the side?"

Nope. They just have a name in common.

I told my cubicle mate CowgirlCre about it. And I emailed the youtube cut of it.

"This sounds like some 1960s strip club music, where the women are standing up on the table dancing," I said.

*LadyLee and the CowgirlCre sitting at desk with waving our hands in the air... chair dancing seductively*

"Club all full of smoke, and ladies dancing," said CowgirlCre.

Thank goodness management didn't happen upon us and see our chair dancing techniques...

O_O

I told Play Mama about this song. "It is fantastic," I said. "It's excellent."

She saw *crickets*. She said it sounded like some people tripping on acid.

Let's just say, she didn't share my glee over the song.

:(

That's alright. I told her, she too young to appreciate such good music! LOL

However, I like the above version much better than Snoop's version.





Much better. More drama and more layers!

I like it much better!

*throwing Snoop Dogg/Dr. Dre version out the window*

7 Songs!!

Still on vacation, baby... And it feels GOOD. But I guess I better post, right?

Riiiiiight.

I think I'll do a tag that's been floating around. Luckily, no one has gotten the notion to tag me. For that I am glad!!

The actual rules for those interested are:

"List seven songs that you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring and summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

1. "Sweet Sticky Thing" by the Ohio Players.

I like this song for the simple fact that the music is performed by REAL musicians. No doggone sampling. Those were the days. Can we take it back to the glory days?!!

2. "Playing Your Game Baby" by Barry White.

This song is very, very smooth. I like smooth! This is my cruising song right here. I play this when I'm rolling down the highway with the windows down. That's good stuff right there!

3. "Love Hangover" by Diana Ross.

I love songs that start out slow then kick it up a notch. LOVED-ED IT!! With that said, you know I'm down for some Donna Summer, too.

4. "Portugese Love" by Teena Marie.

This is one of my all time favorites. I like the 7 minute version, where it goes all salsa in the middle and slows back down... LOVE IT. And it's one of the songs I play in the cubicle waaay too much, to the point where my cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre calmly says, "I'ma need you to play something else, Lee." LOL!!


5. "Maybe" by the 3 Degrees.

I've ran this song into the ground for at least the past 2 years. I even blogged about it. This is another song that drives my cubicle mate crazy. It is a sad waily song. The singer talks for a good 80% of the song, gets drunk, then proceeds to beg some fool to come back to her. It is something that I imagine sounds much better if you are in the back of a dark club, tore up drunk, and have just broken up with some dude. So, I have no idea why I love it so much. Bizarre.

I left a bootleg CD containing the song in Kentucky's car CD player. The perplexed look on her face was priceless. LOL!!!

6. We've been all giggly at work over this particular song. You have to be between the ages of 35 and 45 to get a kick out of this song.

Hen-Dog has a knack for finding Old school videos. We gather around his computer and watch with glee. We even do some of the complex dance moves, lol.

Check out 2nd 68 on the Casio synthesizer! You the man, 2nd 68!!!

"Inspector Gadget" by Bad Boys featuring K-Love.



Yo, 2nd 68! You're hot on the mini Casio synthesizer. That was HOT! LOL!!!


7. Last but not least:

This right here?

I say, this right here?

This is my all time favorite song. My #1 song.

This has been my FAVORITE song since 1986, when I was a young girl of 16.

This is the best song EVER made (according to me, that is).

"You Make Me Want To (Love again)" by Vesta Williams.



I ***HEART*** THIS SONG!

*Lee passes out on the hard concrete as song plays*

This is strange, me liking this song. I can't relate to it or anything. I ain't running up on an old flame reliving and remembering a DAYUM thang. NEVER. I won't be begging that joker for more loving either... Hells no. It almost sound like a disguised up on the sly booty call or something.

I'm particlarly vexed by that last line where after begging, she croons "I want you to know nothing else will do!" that sound a bit, I don't know. . . stalky-stalky. I imagine her with a gun in her hand and her having dude backed up in a corner. That is disturbing.

But I love it nevertheless. I think I like the complexity of the music, and the emotion in Vesta's voice. That Vesta know she can SANG, man!!!!!!

But that has been my favorite song for the past 22 years. I busted my cassette tape some 15 years ago and haven't been able to get the CD. Oh yeah, I can find it, but Vesta William's first CD is a collector's item, and I keep getting sniped like crazy on eBay when I bid on it. The CD goes for between 100 and 200 bucks when it comes up on ebay.

I like the song, but it's not worth me skipping out on paying my light bill. LOL!!

I'll find it soon... someday.

Those are my faves for the summer right there!

Well, I'm not tagging anyone, ya'll. NOPE.

If you wanna do this one, work it out, man!!!!