Baking Cookies (Parchment Paper Chronicles)

So...

I bake a lot of cookies. Not to really eat them, as I want only one or two if I do bake a batch. But it makes for a cheap gift and a quick potluck offering. And you know the holiday season is the time for potlucks.

I mentioned this to my best friend LadyTee. She knows I make cookies, as I have made many for her and her family for the holidays and on other occasions.

But I told her that I was doing something differently now. I was using parchment paper to line my cookie sheets instead of aluminum foil. For some reason, this excited her.

"I see parchment paper at the Dollar Tree! I'ma pick you some up the next time I go."

The Dollar Tree. I tend not to run up in there because I always spend more than a dollar. And parchment paper from that place... I just don't know.

"I'ma get some for you," she kept saying.

Fine.

Well, she bought it, and she'd forgotten to give it to me the last couple of times I've seen her. So let's just say she was more than excited to give it to me when I arrived at her house before her graduation.

"Here you go," she hollered as she handed the bag of parchment my way.

"She's been hollering about this parchment paper something awful," I said to her mother.

Hmmm...This is definitely dollar tree paper.

That packaging looks like something out of the 1970s.  And I noticed to felt a little thinner than the parchment paper I buy from the grocery store (I pay around $2.50 for that parchment paper). But I used it for a batch of cookies I made on Tuesday morning. What's nice about it is that it fits my cookie pans just right, whereas my regular brand is a couple of inches wider.

I was worried about it being thin. And it did turn beige while baking.

That was alright, which meant I just needed to watch it. And I needed to make sure I didn't turn it up too high.

Then I made the last batch. I left those in the oven too long.

The paper wasn't good for that. It became all brown and dried out around the edges.

LadyTee and I had a good laugh about that.

"Thanks for the parchment paper, girl," I said. "I just better not heat it up past 400 degrees or leave it in the oven too long. Might burn up on me."

LOL.

I am happy for the paper. It saves me a little money, as I will not have to buy any for awhile.

And there's nothing like saving some money.

Kitty Funnies

Here's a funny video:

Things Cats do that'd be Creepy if You did them. 



Ha ha ha!

That is hilarious!

And that is Oscar-Tyrone all day long, especially the "making room" and the "meeting new people".

If you've ever met Oscar-Tyrone, you will understand the "meeting new people" all too well.

Here's another:
 



Too funny!

The Art of Good Beauty Sleep

Do you know the meaning of getting some good beauty sleep?

Sister Callie Jo knows.

And she has known since she was a young babe.

And she knows even more now that she's 3 months old.

She's gonna have a crook in her neck sleeping like that. But she straightened it out.

Legs stretched out, arms delicately crossed... beautiful beauty sleep.

Then beauty sleep turns not so lovely:

 Oh no Sister Callie! Put your legs down, hon.  Don't show us all your bizness!

That's when beauty sleep turns into sleeping hard. She was even snoring. 

Ha ha...

She seems to have taken over Oscar's favorite resting spot these days on the blanket covering the ottoman. I don't think he's all that . He walks up quietly and stares at her.

Then looks at me...

Then looks back at her...

Then walks away. 

He must've decided that it is a good thing to have a few moments of peace.

Or he understands that Sister Callie needs her beauty sleep.

And yes, it is a reminder that we all need our beauty sleep, and we need to get it any which way we can.

Birthday Funnies: Shared Sandwiches

This has been my favorite raw snack as of late:

Apple Sandwiches.

I came across this recipe while perusing raw recipe cookbooks. My goal is to try out one or two new recipes per week. Hopefully I will find some good easy ones, with the added goal of finding something I don't mind having on a regular basis.

And those sandwiches are simple. Mix a couple of teaspoons or raisins into raw almond butter. Slice a apple down and take it from there. Very easy. And something I like as a between meal snack. I need more simple recipes like that!

Anyway, last Friday was LadyTee's birthday, and we went to the movies. I knew I didn't want the usual popcorn and soda, so I decided to throw a baggie of these apple sandwiches in my purse. (I usually take a baggie of apple wedges anyway. This was just something different. And better as far as I am concerned).

LadyTee didn't comment whilst I was grabbing them out of a cooler in my trunk. We went on into the theater, and I paid $12 for her small popcorn and cherry Icee.

($12. When did it all get that expensive? I know that movies make their money off concessions, but DANG).

While we were sitting in the movie theater watching previews, LadyTee posed a question.

"So, what did you bring to eat while we watch the movie?"

"Some apple sandwiches," I replied.

"What's that?" she asked after a moment of hesitation.

"Almond butter sandwiched between two apple slices. It is very good."

"Humph," she said.

"I get the fresh ground almond butter from the natural foods co-op store. I keep that in the fridge anyway. And I saw this recipe, and it worked out fine."

"I don't like almond butter," LadyTee said.

*silence*

"I like peanut butter," she continued when I didn't reply. "I have some almond butter, but I don't like the way it tastes."

"Okay," I said.

"But you know when you pull that out your purse you gonna give me one, right?"

O_o.

And she was eyeing me hard when I pulled them out. I grabbed a napkin and gave her one and watched her take a bite. I was waiting for her to throw it, but she didn't.

"They have raisins in them," I said.

LadyTee HATES raisins. With a passion. The look on her face was priceless. You would've thought I told her there were spiders in her apple sandwich.

But she ate it anyway.

Later at dinner, we talked about it.

"LadyLee, I know you were thinking 'How this broad gonna ask for my food and she don't even eat almond butter?'".

"Yes I was thinking that. That's why you had your popcorn and Icee."

"I ate it and it was good," she said. "I had to spit out them hulls, though."

"Yes, you suppose to core the apples. But I don't have an apple corer, and when I tried to core it with a nice, I tore up some slices. So that wasn't happening again."

That was all too funny. And you had to be there to get the full gist of it.

I was happy to share my little apple sandwiches. Those usually last me three days.

Two days when sharing with LadyTee.

Crazy Convos: Of Barbers and Guns

So I got a hair cut last week...

My head is skint! I like it that way!

And it looks like I will probably get it cut every 5 to 6 weeks.

My hair grows extra slow. And I am learning that the more frequently I go to the barber, the less time I have to be up in there.  I pick on Serenity23... She has that "good" hair, and seems to be getting hers cut every 3 weeks.. She has some puerto rican or cherokee ancestor a couple of hundred years back somewhere. My ancestors are some straight-up pure slaves, lol.

One thing about the barber shop... It's not my favorite place. In other words, I don't want to be up in there.There are too many people. And they were playing all that Drake and Nicki Minaj and rappers I have never heard of. They had the rap music going extra hard. EXTRA.



It was to the point that if someone would've jumped up and hollered, "We 'bout to go do a drive by shooting! Who wanna ride!?"

Why, I would've gladly raised and hand high in the air, and hollered, "I'll go! Ya'll just gimme a gun! LET'S ROLL!"

That's right. Hardcore gangsta music know it get all up in your head! I was ready! Let's go tare up something... or at least give me a mike so I can bust a rhyme. Either way, makes me no difference!

LOL. No. You know I'm scared.  I'm not a fan of guns. Too dangerous.

But I was sitting there thinking...

I sure wish someone would put on some Earth, Wind and Fire. Some "That's the Way of the World" would be real nice right about now. 



*lee swaying and singing along with EWF*

And my barber... Mr. Soho. He sure is a talkative fellow.

"Why you frowning all up, LadyLee! You making me nervous!"
"Are you asleep, LadyLee? You not sleep, are you?"

*silence*

No I wasn't asleep. Who could sleep with all that rap music blaring. And not with him talking so much. I don't care to have conversation. Cut my hair so I can go, dude.

Then the phone was ringing and he was talking to someone else for a moment. I heard him say "Legs, chops, ribs, steaks, sausage..."

I knew he wasn't talking to or about a woman. My goodness, I hope he wasn't.

He took another phone call while cutting my hair. This made me nervous. But he is the barber and knows how to handle a phone and cut hair at the same time.

When he finished the phone call, he started asking me questions.

"What would you do if you knew your barber had a gun?"

What the world? I didn't even answer the question. I was still trying to let it soak in.

"Let me ask that question another way," he said when I didn't answer. "What would you do if you knew your dentist had a gun?"

Hmm... my dentist with a gun.

I like my dentist, with his fine self. His name is Dr. Watson. He's a tall chocolate brother. And I like the hershey bar dark brothers. With the goatees. Oh yes. Oh yes sir indeed.

When he walks into the exam room he hollers "Wassup girl, let's do this!!!" just before he grabs the drill or whatever shiny dental instrument of his choosing.

He has good bedside manners, i.e., he makes me feel like we're getting ready to go to a New Edition concert instead of getting ready to fill some cavities.

And he drives a phat black Cadillac Escalade truck, sitting on 20s, all rimmed up and shiny.

No... it wouldn't surprise me if he had a gun.

"My dentist drives a nice big Cadillac truck," I said. "On nice rims. So if he had a gun in the waist of his navy blue scrubs, it wouldn't surprise me. As long as he hooks up my grill [teeth], I could care less!"

My barber laughed.

And then he asked his first question again. "What would you do if you knew your barber had a gun?"

I pondered this. We were in downtown ATL. We were in Midtown near my job, which is a little more buppie, but still hood. And there were a TON of brothers in there, and flat screens up in a glass front shop.
Let's just say if someone came in and tried to rob, it would've been a straight fire fight up in there.

"Wouldn't bother me one bit," I said. "You do what you gotta do."

"I have a gun," he said.

I didn't know what to say. I hope he wasn't trying to impress me. I am not a young chicken. I was most definitely old enough to be his Mama. And he's a redbone shorty. I like my men hershey bar dark.

"Okay," I said.

"And I'm excited," he said as he edged up my sides. "And you know why I'm excited?"

I didn't know. And I really didn't care. But I enlightened him. "Why are you excited, Soho?"

"Because hunting season starts tonight at midnight!! It's hunting season!"

*crickets*

Hunting season?

Wow.

I thought that dude was gonna start turning cartwheels.

It turns out hunting is his hobby. And he processes the meat and puts it up. And he sells some of it. That's what he was talking about on the phone when he was talking about "legs, chops, ribs, sausage..."

(Thank goodness he wasn't talking about a female. I think I would've passed out on the spot.)

I listened to this smiling young man with his tatted up arms as he talked about hunting season. He loves to hunt indeed. I could hear it all in his voice.

"Where do you hunt?" I asked. I imagined him taking a 2 or 3 hour drive to middle south Georgia, down to what we call "The Country".

"Fayette County," he said.

Fayette County. Down my sister's way, some 30 minutes away. It's straight woods down there. While driving down some of the backroads down there, I am always amazed by the plethora of trees and greenlands.  Wouldn't shock me one bit if Hansel and Gretel came skipping out of those thick woods. So I would think the forests hold plenty of deer.

And at that moment I was proud of him. You don't run into many young people who have such a hobby. And it was refreshing to hear him talk about it. That's because some of the "skills of old" have fallen by the wayside, fallen to all things electronic.

He reminds me of my brother, Milk and Cookies. Milk and Cookies collects medieval swords.

I have NO idea how he got into that. I remember him searching flea markets and going through various catalogs for ancient replicas of swords and daggers. I thought all of it was "plastic" toy items, but they are real metal and REALLY sharp, some as heavy as 10 to 15 pounds. I understand why the knights yelled and hollered when lifting their swords. That stuff is heavy!

So my little barber shop visit ended on a good note. There are still young folks who have old school hobbies.  There was a time when we had to hunt and fish.  It's easy enough to go into a store and get our meats, all cleaned an package. It wasn't always like that. And for some in other countries, it's still not like that.

And I'm not knocking the popular new techie hobbies. Nothing wrong with that. But his hunting hobby... I would've never guessed that.

When I left, I told him to be safe out there in the woods. It's seems a little scary sitting out in the forest in camoflauge all night waiting for deer, but hey, if he likes it, I LOVE it.

Ah yes...  I love it indeed.

Cabbage and Tape!

So Serenity23 sent the most interesting text message the other day:

"I'm cooking fried cabbage. Everytime I do it makes me think of u."

To which I responded... "*blink*blink*...*tears*

I always remember back to us having a long conversation on twitter concerning the art of making good southern fried cabbage a couple of years ago (Fry your bacon, but don't burn it!... sautee your onions in the bacon! Then add a little water!") I know folks were like... Are they really going step by step on how to make cabbage?? For half an hour? LOL

So she makes it now, and she makes it well. She texted me a picture of the final result:

That looks tasty! I told her I like, instead of bacon, using a little olive oil and different color peppers. She frowned on that at first, but she has tried it too. I suggested for her to try to add a handful of white raisins (she hates raisins). I also like to julienne an apple and add it sometimes.

It's good with sausage too.  Waiting for her to try that.  I'm gonna make some tonight with crumbled soy sausage.  (You say yuck! I say wooo-hooo!)

When I think of Serenity_23, I think of shoes. In fact, she made some money off of me last year. I bet that chicken $100 that she couldn't go a year without buying shoes. And that chickent did it for the 2011 season. Shoot. (Good for you, though. Easiest bread anybody every made off me.)

Anyway, like I said, I think of shoes when I think of her.

So... I was walking through the Office Depot the other day, and I saw some... shoes she would surely appreciate.

Those are FABULOUS shoes...

Correction: That's a fabulous tape dispenser.

LOL!

I was thinking "If Val saw this, she would tackle this display. 'Cause she gotta have it!"

I thought about buying it for her. But decided against it. It's just too tacky. It doesn't even look like it will stand up on its own if you try to use it. They should make it multipurpose, i.e., you can buy the shoe in your size... and pop out the tape dispenser if you want to wear it. Yeah, that's an idea.

No, no need to buy that for her. The last strange item I bought her was a bottle of Strawberry Hills Boones Farm wine a few years back. I am sure that doesn't quite fit her taste. But she graciously accepted it anyway.

I'll let her purchase this one on her own.

So Serenity, or any of you other shoe fiends... go get yourself a stylish tape dispenser. They're over at an Office Depot near you!

Video of the Week

My cubicle mate CowgirlCre and I have been snickering a bit too hard over the following video clip.



LOL!!

Hilarious! It's a bit old, and I'm surprised I'm just seeing it. I heard about it at CowgirlCre's family gathering a month ago.

I do believe that is one of Southern Black Gal's relatives. Don't quote me on that, but that's just GOTTA be family. Just gotta! Only Southern Black Gal's peeps would autotune a report like that. LOL

(Southern, I'm just playing with you *snicker*snicker*).

She was on her way to get a cold pop. Uh, I could tell from her saying that that she wasn't in Georgia. "Pop" is a term they only use up North somewhere.

And she was going to go get a cold pop from the soda machine in her apartment complex. I knew for sure she wasn't in Georgia. We would rob break into a public soda vending machine down here in the ATL. Heck, I myself would get the notion to rob an unattended soda machine. (That's too much temptation for an Oldgirl).

I know there have been a couple of times in my own life where I smelled smoke and thought somebody was barbequing. And then there's the stark realization that it's not a good hot grill going, but something is burning that should NOT be burning. UGH!

So I can identify with it.

And I can identify with it now.

My boss asks me to do something and I get all strange on her.

"I got bronchitis," I holler as I hold my hand to my chest and cough a little.

My boss simply rolls her eyes and walks away.

(She never falls for it. She thought the video was funny, too).

These things are funny, especially when no one gets hurt, which is the case here.

Of course Sweet Br.own got a little famous behind it all...

As we all have our 15 minutes of fame at some point in our lives.