Crazy Convos:"Watched"

Oh my, what a wonderful glorious day!!

I was FORCED into taking half a day off on Thursday, and all of Friday off. Folks, I have TOO many hours, so I have to go home (Awwww. . . poor me).

When I was walking through the halls, heading for the elevator yesterday at 10:30 in the a.m., I stuck my head in the doors of several offices and labs and yelled a bit TOO loudly:

"Ya'll have a FINE FINE weekend!!!"

Folks were running behind me talking about "Where you going, LadyLee!?"

I am OFF.

This is RARE.

It feels GOOD.

So I plan to enjoy my day. I'm going to write for a couple of hours today, go to a Friday morning bible study, and go do a little bit of overdo shopping. I need a couple of summery shirts, and some general stuff for around the house. I plan on picking up some paint for the walls. I need more yarn. I ALWAYS need yarn.

Then, later today, I'm going to spend a little time in the garden.

And I know when I'm out in the garden, I am being. . . watched.

And I don't like being watched.


Now, another one of my major hangups is that I don't like being watched. Don't watch me to see what I'm going to do. I can sense this real quick, and 10 times out of 10, I don't care for it. And it's usually under the following context.

"Ladylee I think you're mad. Are you mad at me?"
"No, I'm not mad at you."


I want to add, "I got ish on my mind. Or I am upset about something else. Or I don't feel well today. Or I got a problem I am trying to work out in my head. Or, I'm not in a talkative mood. Or I just want to be quiet. You are not that important for me to be focused on you right now."

"Okay, Ladylee," they will say.

Then that person sits back and "watches" what I do. And since I don't have that special expertise of saying what you want me to say or doing what you think I should be doing (in other words, kissing your behind), then well... there's a problem.

So, I ain't folks favorite person. I'm not the flower of the group, with all the friends and such.

If you are "watching" me, you get written off REAL quick. Yep. Another one of my key idiosyncrasies. We all got em!!

Okay, back to the subject of my post:

I had another crazy convo last week. A very unusual convo.

So. . .

I was sitting at my desk at work one day last week, crunching out some data, trying to meet a deadline for some paperwork. I had my headphones on and had some good music going. It was great, nobody was bothering me, and I was just chugging along.

My cellphone vibrates.

I flip it open to see who it is. I don't recognize the number, but feel as though I've seen it before.

I usually don't answer if I don't know who's calling. But for some reason, that day, I was. . . curious.

I pressed talk.

"Hello."
"Hiya Ladylee."

"Yeah?" I don't catch the voice. I decide that they have about a minute to identify themselves or they get the dial tone.

"Ladylee, it's Stan."

Okay, I've talked about Stan in the past. Stan is my next door neighbor on the right hand side. I've written about my neighbor's before (neighbors to the left and neighbors to the right). I live smack in the middle of gay black frat boys and gay white neighbors.

Interesting. Everybody's cool. But my white neighbor Stan, and his man Paul are VERY nosy.

"Yeah, what's up Stan?" I wanted to say, "What the heck do YOU want?"
"Ladylee, there's a black car in your yard."
**deafening silence on my part**
"I don't recognize that car, LadyLee."

Okay, I'm rolling through my mind who that can be. I wanted to ask him the make of the car, but uh, I wasn't going through all that.

"I think that's Kentucky's friend," I said. I thought it was Kentucky's boyfriend, but he didn't need to know all that.
"Alright, I'm just calling to let you know. Because I just don't recognize that car. I've never seen that car before."
"Okay."

We said our goodbyes, and I clicked over and called Kentucky.

"Hello?"
"Hey girl, is Carl over there?"
"Yeah."
"Well, Stan just called and said there was a black car in the yard."
"What is he talking about. I just saw one of them out there."

Stan and Paul look EXACTLY alike, even down to the shaved heads. I've even seen them dress alike. I can tell them apart. Kentucky can't, and don't even care to.

"Which one did you see?"
"Lee, you know I can't tell them apart. I said hello, that's all."
"Look, if them jokers knock on the door, you better answer it. I don't need them calling the police and my door getting kicked in."
"But they didn't knock on the door. Me and Carl went to get something to eat, and we saw them when they were out there."
"Well, whatever."

Me and Kentucky CONSTANTLY joke about Stan and Paul. If they see either of us outside, they come outside. Now, ya'll know I am not a kindly friendly neighbor. Leave me alone. They rarely see me, but they see Kentucky all the time. And they are ALWAYS running up on her. I park my car in the garage, and they're gonna get smashed by the closing garage door if they run up on me.

But they LOVE themselves some Kentucky.

"Lee, I went outside at 3 in the morning to get something out of my car. One of them was out there, yelling 'Hey Kay'."

LOL!!

I have my own run-ins with them over the years. Anytime a strange car is in my yard, or if I have company, something is said.

"I see you got a new car, LadyLee."
"I see you had a friend over, LadyLee."

Sigh. Nothing worse than being. . .watched.

I can be standing in the driveway talking to someone. One of them will come out and get ALL up in the convo. DANG!!

But. . .

Get this. . .

Stan wasn't at home when he called me about the strange car in my yard.

Stan and Paul have cameras all around their home. And I noticed a good year ago that they have one pointed straight at my house.

So, Stan was at work or something. He apparently has computer access to said cameras at work. So he saw this car in my yard, and called me.

He has a camera trained on my house, and monitors my house while monitoring his own.

HA! You gotta love it.

I guess I should be thankful. They could be some crazy folks, robbing my house while I'm at work. Taring up stuff. Just doing crazy stuff. They are just. . . nosey.

So, with that said. . . do I really need a home security system?

Do I?

LOL!!!

Crazy Convos: "What a Menace!!"

Like I said in the previous post... I can't STAND calling people. I have to gear myself up to call you. It's probably prearranged that I will be giving you a call. If I call you, I have a reason for calling you. No, I ain't trying to use you (ya'll know I ain't like that). I will call to say thank you, or to check on you, etc. But it is RARE for me to just call you up and be like "Hey, just calling to be calling".

Very rare.

The only person I call like that is my bff LadyTee. We will just hold the phone and watch television together. (Yes, we are pushing up against 40, and we STILL do that high school ish!!)

But one thing that LadyTee will do: call REAL late at night. Close to midnight when I'm knocked out.

And it's never an emergency.

It's over the strangest things.

So...

One night I was bone tired. I'd had a long day, and at least it was Friday night. That meant no alarms the next morning. I could just... sleep.

And you know how you're dreaming, and you hear the phone ringing in your dreams and all that? THAT'S how hard I was sleeping.

So the phone rang. Took me a moment to actually realize it was the phone. LadyTee knows this. I don't have voicemail on the house phone, so uh, it can just ring, ring, ring.

The phone happened to be right next to my head, so it was REAL loud. I usually wonder around like a zombie looking for it. That was not the case that evening.

I squinted at the caller ID. It was Ladytee.

I pushed the talk button.

"Sup, black girl," I mumbled. My voice cracked horribly. I cleared my throat.
"Lee!"
I yawned. "Yeah, man."
"Lee!!!" she yelled.

Now, I noticed that there was MUCH background noise. Sounded like she was at a party and folks were about to fight or something. I heard the sound of loud deep voices. The television or something was up REAL loud.

"Lee!!!"
"Where are you at, Tee? Sounds like somebody fighting or something."
"Lee, these negroes 'bout to catch a foot in their throats."
"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'ma need you to tell these fools what happened to Ol' Dog at the end of Menace II Society!"

*crickets*

I just laid there. Decided to turn on the light. I looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was 12:50 a.m.

"Lee, you heard me?"
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Yeah."
"These bustas saying Ol' Dog died at the end of Menance II Society!"

She was sooooo heated.

LOL!!

Menance II Society. Hmm. How many of you saw that? Better yet, how many of you STILL watch that movie? (I watched it a month ago when it came on cable. It was still good, but I am getting old, because I winced at all the cursing.)

I loved that movie back in the day. I remember the first time I saw it. I was in graduate school, and I was in the lab working hard on some research, and one of the sistas from a research group upstairs came down to my lab and stood next to me while I was setting up glassware and said, "Lee, you gotta see this movie." I was busy at the time, but with a little coaxing, she convinced me to go see it. The chemical reaction I was setting up needed to stir for several hours so I had time. (It was all quite bootleg. She pulled her car up to the side of the Chemistry building. My lab was on the bottom floor, and we had swing open windows. I jumped out the window, ran across the lawn, jumped in her car and we played a little hooky to go see the movie. When we came back, I climbed back through the window and got back to work.)

Good movie, and Ol' Dog was the best character.


Larenz Tate know he played that part, didn't he?

LadyTee liked the movie too (although she hated the ending. She can't STAND sad endings). She's watched it more times than me, and I think we've watched it together several times.

"Lee, I'm gonna kick some a$$ up in here tonight. These negroes think they know everything!"
"Who you talking about?"
"Nell [her 18 year old son] and Pat [his best friend]."
"Well, Tee, Ol' Dog didn't die at the end."
"I KNOW THAT, Lee!" She turned and yelled real hard at them. "I need you to tell THEM that."

Nell gets on the phone.

"Hey Lee," he said, his voice waaaay too deep. I kid him when I call. "Boy, you sound like somebody Daddy, you Old man you!" I always say.

I went on to explain to him that Ol'Dog didn't die at the end. There is quick clip of Ol' Dog being placed in the police car. Chauncey had turned in the Mini-mart video tape of Ol' Dog shooting and killing the Korean owners, and the police were already looking for him. Kane died at the end, not Ol'Dog.

"Alright, Lee," was his simple response.

(This was a little easier than explaining to him that Nia Long was not in the Thriller video (click here for THAT post) LOL!)

LadyTee got back on the phone and WENT OFF a bit longer. I tell you, she and I are exact opposites. I am quiet when I'm angry. LadyTee is a firecracker when she gets mad. She might just pick up the nearest thing and knock you down.

Pat even got on the phone at one time, and I explained everything to him. I don't think he really cared. He just wanted to say hello to me.

"Alright Lee," LadyTee said after she snatched the phone from him. "I knew you would know. If you say it, they believe it."
"I know, I know," I said.
"Whatcha doint tomorrow, gal?"
"Just chilling," I said.
"I'll call you tomorrow, babes!" she said.

"Holler," were my final words.

I clicked the phone off and threw it on the bed.

And was up for another 2 hours before I went back to sleep. (Once I wake up, it is HARD for me to go back to sleep.)

I'm just glad poor Nell and Pat didn't catch LadyTee's foot in their throats.

This happens more often than not. I believe Nell messes with his Mom's head, just to get her all riled up. It is quite funny to see her mad, to the point of snapping. I've been sitting there when they've been arguing about something.

It always ends with "Call Lee!" (Then they realize I am sitting there watching the drama unfold).

Somehow, I'm the final authority on EVERYTHING. LadyTee always says "If Lee don't know the answer, there is no answer. My friend knows EVERYTHING!"

Good to know that I have someone in my life who has THAT much confidence in me.

Even if she's being a menace, and calling me long after I've fallen asleep.

(Just kidding, Tee. You can be a menance and call me anytime, day or night, BFF!)

Me and my hangups...

Just like many or you all out there, I, LadyLee have some crazy hangups (idiosyncracies), things that completely irk me about myself, other people, etc. Things that just bother me to no end.

Now, one of the most consistent hangups I have is that I hate calling people. I mean, I hate bothering people. I really have to gear myself up to call people. And it takes a lot to do that. If I call you up, I've probably have been thinking about it for several hours, sometimes a couple of days.

So I get in much trouble with my friends for not calling them. They usually have to call me. This is understand.

That's bad, I know. I may not call you often, but know that I'm thinking of you.

I often think of the root of any of my issues, where it all started or came from.

And it all started a LONG time ago with my best friend LadyTee.

Even though she's been my best friend for over 25 years, I do NOT call her too late at night after she's gone to bed.

But this idiosyncracy I have started with her. It is deeply rooted in something that went down between myself and LadyTee over 25 years ago...

~wavy, wavy fuzzy lines, yanking your behind back to the days of old~

I'm not sure how old we were, and what year it was. LadyTee is 2 years older than me, so I would think that I was 12 and she was 14 years-old. We'd gotten into the habit of spending the night at each other's house at least once a month on the weekends. And one thing the two of us would do was fight sleep to stay up and watch late night videos and music shows. (That's when music videos were really getting popular).

Anyway, something special was going down this one Saturday night.

Michael Jackson was gonna be on Solid Gold.

You remember Solid Gold. It was the awfully cheesy music show that use to come on on Saturday nights in the eighties, hosted by Dionne Warrick, Marylin McCoo, and other folks. You remember the Solid Gold Dancers, don't you?




Well, me and LadyTee lived for that. We loved ourselves some Solid Gold.

The bad thing was that the show came on at 11:30 pm. We had to make ourselves stay up to watch it.

That night that Michael Jackson was to be on, LadyTee's Mama dropped her off at my house to spend the night. We usually watched the shows on TV together, but not that night.

This was IMPORTANT. We loved ourselves some Michael Jackson. We were some insane MJ fans back in the day. We had all the posters, the same jheri curls (LOL!)... We were DOWN for some Michael. (LadyTee later had her son ON Michael Jackson's birthday. If that ain't a fan, I don't know what is).

But LadyTee was sleepy. I was fighting sleep, too. Around 10:oo p.m., LadyTee said.

"Lee, I'ma lay down and take a nap. Wake me up when the show comes on."

"Okay," I said.

"I'm for real, girl, you betta wake me up."

"I'll wake you up. I ain't all that sleepy."

"Alright, now," she said. She was still mumbling how I better wake her up as she got under the covers and finally went to sleep. I remember sitting on the bed next to her, indian style, watching the boring news and trying to stay awake. I remember peering at her curiously. LadyTee sleeps with her eyes half open, and it had always creeped me out.

Finally, the time had come. Solid gold was on. The Solid dancers had come sprinting out onto the stage.

I nudged her with my hand. Then I grabbed her shoulder and shook her hard.

"Tee, wake up, the show is on!"

LadyTee sat up and cussed me out. All I rememeber is:

"You mutha*****, I can't believe you woke me up. Blah, blah,blah, bleep, bleep, bleep."

Man... she went on and on. I just started crying. Right there as she unloaded a string of cuss words on me, calling me every name in the book. She was SO mad at me. I thought you was gonna hit me or something.

She turned over and went back to sleep.

I was distraught. TRAUMITIZED. I think I just turned the television off and went to bed too. I was just too upset to watch Michael Jackson.

The next morning, we sat at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. She acted like nothing happened.

I was still upset. "Why you cuss me out, Tee?" I asked. "You told me to wake you up! Why you go off on me?"

"Lee, I was sleep. Don't mess with me when I'm sleep."

I was still upset. She laughed it off.

And we still discuss this, all these years later. She laughs real hard about it. I give her the hard eye squint, and tell her how wrong she was.

"I'm sorry, Lee! Calm down!"

Funny how we still discuss crazy stuff like that.

And to this day, I don't like waking people up. And that has extrapolated into calling people late at night. I feel HORRIBLE if I call you, and you were asleep. Just HORRIBLE.

Now, LadyTee knows if I call late at night, it is important. I have called crying in the middle of the night over my heart being broken, things like that. She knows if I call late in the midnight hour something is VERY wrong. But otherwise, I have that 10:00 rule.

Don't call peeps past 10 at night. I don't care if you tell me to, I ain't calling.

But I tell you...

That don't keep LadyTee from calling ME up REAL late. I'm talking midnight. Waaay past midnight. I am NOT a night owl, and I'm usually knocked out by 11 o'clock.

But LadyTee loves calling me, as late as possible...

And it is about the most strangest things.

I've had some crazy convos lately. . . one of which was with her, at damn near one o'clock in the morning. . .

To be continued.

An IPOD Meme from my dear "Mister" aka Dat Dyssturbed brutha 2nd 68

Yes, I got tagged.

And this one here is from "Mister", a.k.a., that brotha 2nd 68, who got me all chained up in the castle with the rest of the broads he has designated as part of his beloved "Blog Harem"...

So, in addition to being responsible for cooking meals for Mister and the other chicks in the harem...

I gotta do this here tag.

Rules:

MEME Rules:
1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

Be forewarned. This is a long post. And I'm making it long just to make my captor Mister mad.

(Shawty can't stand long posts, you see. And he knows how LONGWINDED I tend to be. It's so long that I didn't even bother to put pictures in. Ya'll know how I like pictures, so it must be SUPER LONG)

And you better read it all, boy. HUMPH.

Song titles in green, personal thoughts in italics. . . and I'll let you figure the rest out.

Let's go, so I can go to bed.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
"Divas need Love Too,"by Klymaxx.

Okay, that could mean any doggone thing. Yeah, Oldgirls need love too.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"Rapture"- by KRS-1

*LadyLee singing "Step into a world, la la la la la!!!*

(You know I don't know the words, babe!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Love" - by Keyshia Cole.

If a man can make this Oldgirl's voice crack out of control like Keyshia's voice cracks in this song... yes, that IS love!! Ya'll better slap some sense into me if my voice crack out like that because my nose is probably wiiiiide open! LOL

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Outstanding" by The Gap Band.

I don't feel outstanding today. I am well rested for a change, though. But "outstanding" is definitely something to shoot for in the future, right?

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
"On our Own" Bobby Brown.

Yes, I'm on my own. I don't want to be as on my own as Bobby Brown, so I will hold steady where I am. LOL!!

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"If Only You Knew" - by Patti Labelle.

Yes, if only you knew how much I don't want to go to work tomorrow. GEEZ!!!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Time" - by Culture Club.

A bunch of my sista gurls are looking at me real crazy right now. One of my favorite things to do is stand on my soap box and yell for all to here that "Time tells everything! Time never lies."

Yes, that's some "Food for Thought" ish right there... all up in the middle of a tag. Yeah. I might crank out a whole loooong post on Time. (You'd like that, wouldn't you OG Serenity30)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Encore - by Patti Austin

Uh no, I don't want an encore with them. Was all quite confusing and traumitizing, ya see.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Ascension (Remix)- by Maxwell.

Okay, that can mean anything. Moving right along...

WHAT IS 2+2?
"On and On...Live" by Erykah Badu.

Okay. Whatever that means. Sounds like something that wacky E. Badu would say anyway.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Listen to the Clock on the Wall"-by the O'Jays.

Now that's funny. There were many times during our teenage years when I was yelling, "Tee you better hurry! Because your Mama may be worried!"

Yes, we were in much mess, and stayed in trouble for breaking curfew. LOL!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Crazy"- by Miki Howard.

Not really true. The last couple of shorties I liked were not crazy, just a tad bit needy. You want me to act like I'm your wife, when I am not. That sound crazy. So I guess we can equate needy to "crazy". Yeah. Makes perfect doggone sense.

The axis of the world runs smack down the center of my head. Me giving myself over to some dude's needy behind ain't going down after a week of knowing him. Desperation is not on my list of options.

*LadyLee giving the Celie crooked 2 fanger point*

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Happy Feelings"- Frankie Beverly and Maze.

Isn't that what we are all seeking? Aren't we all on a quest for that "Happy Feeling"?

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Anyone who had a Heart" -by Luther Vandross.

I want to know when I finally grow up that I took care to operate out of good heart, without wack agendas and bad motives. That's what's hot right there.

Really though.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Don't wake me, I'm dreaming" by Christopher Williams.

Yes, I would be dreaming. Because I don't like nobody right now. Maybe in my dreams though. Hmm.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Keep your Head up" -by Chaka Khan.

Yeah, that's what they should be saying because they had an Oldgirl caught up in some major dysfunctionality. I turned out okay, I suppose. The jury is still out on THAT one.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Glamorous Life (extended version) - Sheila E.

Let's see, I went to the Justice of the Peace in New Or.leans to get married back in 1999. There was no music. I went ot the Fulton county court in downtown ATL to get divorced in 2003. Now THAT was the song that should've been playing.

"She wants to lead the Glamorous life, she don't need, that Oldboy's touch!"

Whoa. That's deep.

IF I ever get the notion to get married again, there won't be a wedding, just the Justice of the Peace. You won't see me marching down the aisle in a white dress. I ain't quite virginal. I've been around the block, the neighborhood, and the world a few times over. A red dress and Glamorous Life will be playing if I'm forced to do so! LOL!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Been so Long"- by Anita Baker.

Yes, I want it to be said. . . That Oldgirl's life been so looooooong!!!

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Cutie Pie"by One Way

My hobbies - crocheting, reading, and writing, to name a few. Hmm, tie that into "Cutie Pie" however you see fit, because I ain't smart enough to decipher THAT one.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Don't Leave me Girl" by Blackstreet.

*crickets*

*Ladylee raises eyebrows, then kicks the HARD eyeroll*

Pump the frickin' brakes. That does not compute, because an Oldgirl don't like other Oldgirls. I like Mens. I have begged a dude not to leave me before, though. This was some 20 years ago. Doing that at my age now is quite laughable.

And you sistas out there better not laugh at that. Think waaaaay back. You've begged a dude to stay. You know you have!!!!!

LOL!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Strive"-by Kris Styles.

How appropriate! What are the chances of that song coming up.

You know, one of my book club sistas heard that playing on my blog a couple of years ago, and made me send her a CD with that song only. It played over and over, some 20 times.

I think I will put up the lyrics to that, with my Longwinded self. LOL!!!

Sista gurl, I don't want to pressure you, cuz I know that your situation's hard. Understand that you can't get to the end, if you haven't, if you haven't started. I hope your life can be more than what you planned it out to be, yeah. I'm my sister's keeper, I will never leave you, I believe in you.

Chorus: Someday you'll make it through, it's only up to you, you gotta strive and believe you will get by by. (Repeat chorus)

Sister gurl, I want the very best for you, but there's only so much I can say. Look deep within yourself and seek out a brighter day! Go on, get up, and pull yourself together. You can make it if you try, get a grip on your life, your joy, and survive.

You can't stop loving you, loving you, you gotta do whatcha gotta do... So try to believe and you will succeed.

Now, THOSE are some Original Oldgirl Platinum Plus Lyrics right there, baby!

That's a nice way of saying "Oldgirl pull yourself together!" As that newly annointed Original Oldgirl would say.

"Man up and stop being a PUNK!!"

Yes, that's my Motto this year. Thanks for that, LBeezy.

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
No one's gonna love you, the way I do" by the SOS band.

Yo, on the serious tip?

Check it out:

If we are friends, and you're not trying to use me up, come at me sideways, or come at me with wack hidden agendas and dumb ass motives (Ya'll know how much I HATE that craziness)... And we have history, i.e., we been homies for a few years and we have a history of being a blessing to each other?

Rest assured...

I said, rest assured...

That you can know this. KNOW THIS...

You will hear me standing on the roof of my house screaming from the top of my lungs:

"No one's gonna love you, the way I do, noboddddddddddeeeeeey!!!!"

Not really. That would look a bit STRANGE, me standing on the roof yelling like that.

But. . .

I think my actions wail that pretty loudly.

You got a friend in me.

Yep, that could be an appropriate title for this here post.

Really though.

Alright, 2nd 68, my King, Mister, who's holding me captive. I completed your beloved tag.

Now take these shackles off so I can go to bed. And leave me alone. You gonna have to push up on some of them other broads tonight. No activities, since you got me in here cooking for you and the blog concubines.

Enough said. I ain't tagging NOBODY!

If you got an IPOD, work it out, work it OUT!

Holla at cha!

Happy 30th Birthday LBeezy, You Original Oldgirl You!

(Yeah, I've been gone for a minute. Evil management has been working me like a Hebrew Slave. My brain has been fried to a crisp all week long. But today is a Special day, you see... so I am BACK!)

So...

It's that time again...

That time, that time, that time. . .

To hand over some much coveted. . .

STATUS.

I'd like to wish one of my favorite blog mentors, "The LBeezy" a.k.a. "LBigga" a.ka. "LBoogie" a.k.a. "The Ladybug Mocha" a happy birthday.

Happy 30th Birthday LBeezy!!!!


Now, I think I came across LBeezy some 3 years ago. She had a huge blog under another name, and I lurked around in her territory. Never commented, as she was a part of a tight "community" back in those days.

Then something happened.

She lost everything in the storm, a.k.a. "That Dayum Katrina"

She picked up with her son, and relocated to another state.

That in itself is mind-boggling.

These days, The Lbeezy is like an old school gangsta. . . She don't get too far caught up in blog stuff, and blogs very lowkey, every now and then. She likes to sit back and watch others do their thang.

I've learned MUCH from the Lbeezy. . .

I see from time to time on other blogs statements like "As LadyLee would say: *crickets*."

Yeah, that's part of my style these days, but uh. . . I JACKED them *crickets* from the Lbeezy.

I also picked up the whole description thang, i.e. *Ladylee giving the hard eyeroll*

The most recent phrase of LBeezy's that I have hijacked is something I use waaaaaaaay too much:

*gas face*

LOL!!!

I told her one day, "Yo, I bite your style? Do you mind?"

"Feel free, Leezie," she said. "I really don't care."

That's Old School for ya right there.

Really though.

But over the past 3 years, she's become a true friend.

You know how it feels all weird when you go more than two or three days without talking to certain folks, whether it be via email, on the phone, text message, etc.? You just feel, I don't know, strange when you don't communicate with them?

That's how we are.

To the point if, I don't hear from her via any of the numerous communication avenues, I will call her up. She is one of the couple of people I will send text messages.

(And ya'll know I can't stand calling people. Let's not even get over into how I feel about texting.)

But she and I had a long talk last night. She is all excited about turning the big "30".

Ya'll know what I say... "You don't know nothing until you turn 30."

But I heard it all in LBeezy's voice on the phone last night. She's turning 30. The light bulb is glowing brightly over her head. She's a woman with plans, moving forward, and happy about life.

Good for you, Lbeezy!!

She has been on me for MONTHS about sending her some of my world famous cookies. Last week, she Serenity30 and I were doing our daily email gabs (it's a frickin' shame how we use it like IM). Serenity was going to be in town for the weekend, and we were arranging to meet up for lunch. Serenity wanted a batch of chocolate chip pecan cookies, to which I agreed to make.

LBeezy sent a simple email that simply said...

"Biatches!"

(Yes she was upset. VERY upset.)

I sent Serenity a separate email saying, "This girl just don't know she's gonna eat those words. She's getting a big batch of oatmeal raisin walnut cookies in the mail for her birthday."

I think LBeezy had the *gas face* for most of the week, throwing all kinds of snide remarks about cookies at me. I just laughed about it.

My biggest issha is that I haven't been able to find proper tins for mailing cookies. I get them from the thrift store, but I hadn't found any recently. Well, last weekend, I headed down to American Thrift in Riverdale, deep on the southside, on the other side of Collie Purk (LOL!), and bought every dayum tin they had.

Side Note: Uh, is it just me? Have you been to the Thrift store lately? This one was so crowded. I mean, uh, crowded like a doggone club letting folk in free. Traffic jam crowded. Standing in long lines crowded. It was so crowded that I thought an Electric slide was gonna break out at any moment. LOL!!

Then they had the nerve to be playing Christmas music.

In June.

*LadyLee dropping tins in buggy and squinting hard at the ceiling when "Silent night" plays*

An experience indeed. Happy smiling people carrying around their thrift store loot. A twilight zone moment indeed.

Anyway, she got her doggone cookies, a good 2 dozen. She was my test case for mailing cookies. Only a few crumbled out, but most were in tact.

So Lbeezy, it's only a small token of my appreciation.

Thanks for being there for me, for our long eye-opening convos, and for teaching this Oldgirl a thang or two about blogging. You are one of the few people who, when you hear me whining or going off on an angry tangent, can reel me back in, and can say to me, "Lee, let me put my two cents in, Blah, blah, blah,". She is thorough and very succinct with me, and it turns my whole attitude around. I told her that one day, and I know she was like... "Hunh?"

Girl, your words are like dynamite. When you speak, the words change and rearrange things. They are explosive and high impact. And I need that. I really need that.

Thanks for putting a verbal foot up my a$$ when I need it.

For that alone, I am glad you are my friend. It's rare to have people around me who will check me and keep it moving. (You know how stank my attitude can get, lol). Thanks for that.

I've watched you lose everything, and rebuild. When I need courage, I think of your situation- your push forward to reestablish yourself and all. That gives me hope in my circumstances and trials. It truly does.

(And you got SO many letters after your name. I will still trade my three measely "Ph.D" letters for that long string of ish following your name! LOL)

So... without further adieu, I bestow upon you your platinum card carryin' status.

I hereby pronounce you, on your 30th birthday. . .

"An Original Oldgirl"


Ladybug, I hereby extend to you your *Original Oldgirl Platinum Plus Card*, good worldwide and on every planet in the solar system, good even on the Sun itself...with no monetary limits whatsover.

So if the police ever try to run up on you, or some folks try to jump ya, you can yell-

"Get back! I am an Original Oldgirl!"

I'm an "OG"!

"Get the **** back!!"

No, you'll still catch a beat down, and you'll still get locked up...

But you'll have the pride attached to being an Oldgirl...So, now, instead of that 10 dollar card… you have a Platinum plus Card, good on all planets, even the SUN!!!

You have the pride of knowing that..
One who is an Original!
One who is full of wisdom!
One who keeps it real!
One who has been through it all!
One marching like Miss Sophia on her way to a place of peace and victory......

Stand tall!
And make sure you don’t fall
Be proud
Say it loud

I, The LBeezy, am an… Original Oldgirl!

Enjoy your birthday, Oldgirl!

Love,
LadyLee.