Sunday Night Musings

'Tis the last day of my 30 day challenge!

I missed 2 days of posting, both on the weekend, I believe. And both times, I was laid out across the bed, thinking about getting up and posting something before I go to sleep. But it's been more like...

"...as soon as the next commercial comes on, I'll get up and post something."

Well the next thing I know it's morning.

And I missed a day of posting.

But I must say, posting 28 days out of 30 days is not bad.

Not bad at all.

Alas, we have reached the final day. Maybe I will keep it up. I don't see that, but I have a whole list of posts I want to do so I want to get those out.

I stubbed my toe last night, and the way I was feeling, I hope the sucker isn't broken.  And it's not even the big toe, it's the toe next to the little toe. Every time I tried to walk last night and this morning, there were shots of pain! Who would've thought one small member of the body could affect everything like that? Wow.

I decided if I couldn't walk well enough by Monday, I would go get an x-ray to make sure it's not broken. I was able to hobble around and do some cleaning late this afternoon. I don't know if it's getting better, or if the pain meds kicked in real good.

We shall see tomorrow. Hmm.

Anyway, I watched a stream of my church service this morning and I wrote down a couple of notes concerning things that I'd been pondering as of late.

-If you are not content with yourself, you will continue to try to be like someone else. 

I never thought about it that way. But the more I look around, especially on social media, it is the truth through and through.

I am content with me, but I am constantly working on that. I think in the past 10 years or so, I have begun to understand that I don't want huge swatches of time passing where I am in a state of discontent. I want to be content where I am... while on the way to my destination, where I'm going.

-There is too much ahead of you, too many great things in your future, for you to spend time worrying about mistakes and missteps in your past. 

Not sure that sentence makes much sense. That's how I scratched it out in my notes.

In essence it means stop worrying about mess from your past. And press and look forward to the bright future ahead of you. And I think, just expanding that a little, be in high expectation of a good future... on purpose.

I have recently seen a someone that is upset about something that happened in their past. Not about something that happen last week or last year, mind you, but something that happened over 30 years ago.

30 years ago!

I spent time thinking about that, and wondering how is the best way to not let that happen. I don't have much of anything that bothers me like that.

You know, a mustard bottle may appear empty. But if that mustard is squeezed hard enough, some mustard is going to come squirting out.

Mustard being anger, that is. Circumstances tend to expose a range of emotions.

Maybe during quiet times of my life, bad feelings that have laid dormant in my heart, like my issues with my parents. When it comes to heartbreaks, I have found that it takes me one to two years to get over them. I know I am good when I can stand still and search my heart and can fully say that I feel absolutely nothing about the situation. I'm not angry or pissed or anything.

I have had falling outs with friends and it seems to take me about 6 months to get over and past that. I have had to realize that certain people are meant to be in my life for a reason or for a season. And those seasons and reasons have come to an end and it's time to move on.

You will never see a facebook or twitter fight break out with me involved. Especially since I'm getting older, approaching 50.

Thank goodness for the blog, because I have written profusely about such things, whether outright or in between the lines.

What do I want overall? I just don't want long swatches of times to go by where I'm actively angry about something or someone... and that anger is expressing and manifesting itself in some harmful ways. I spend much time being introspective about such matters, and doing personal journalling.

And just hearing some of those points hit on today during the sermon helped me understand that I am doing what I need to do to keep from living in my past and learning to be content with ME.

And that's a good thing.

That is it for my Sunday musings. I would go back and edit it, but uh... you will just have to piece together what you can from it!

1/3rd of the year is officially over... 2/3rds of the year is ahead of us.

Let's press on in expectancy of great things!

Have a good week!

Saturday Night 7

7 Things! On a Saturday! So here we go.

1. This has been a decent enough day, even though I didn't get my day going well until after 1:00 pm. Shame on me for staying in bed all morning.

2. Once I did get up, I got dressed and decided to drive Pam.

She has been sitting in the back of the driveway under a tree. I haven't really driven her since January. She was covered in sticky pollen.

3. I rarely drive her, which is a shame. She was filthy as all get out, so I took her to the car wash. A good vacuum and wash and she looks halfway presentable.

4. Pam was in desperate need of windshield wipers. I bought her some at the local auto store. I gave the person who installed them a $5 tip.

He said, "You didn't have to do that."

"Yes I did," I replied. "I'm a girl, and I don't know how to change windshield wipers nor do I care to learn."

5. While in that particular pseudo-gentrified neighborhood, I joined a gym I'd been eyeing since October.

October!

Geez. Ain't it just about to be MAY? Ugh.

6. So I left the car wash, I tried to go to the Curb Market. Not a big deal, as I could jump through the hippie district, i.e., Little Five Points, skirt through the gentrified Inman park area and be there in about 10 minutes flat.

WRONG.

There was a big Inman Park festival. I only remembered when I got tied up in the INSANE traffic in that neighborhood. I was stuck in traffic for 45 minutes.  I was just trying to get some 3 miles away. UGH.

I ain't never seen that many white folks out and about in my life. WOW.

7. I ended up going to the Whole Foods instead. Please remind me not to do any grocery shopping on a Saturday. NO.

8. So right now, I am watching The Handmaid's Tale on Hulu.

One word.

CREEPY.

And I'm not even sure what the world is going on. I have to go look up some analysis or something.

Or I may just have to sit this one out. It's enough to give me nightmares.

That is it for Saturday 7.

This Saturday was a day rife with high class problems.

And that is fine by me... and I am thankful for that.

Because things could always be worse. 

Good Friday Evening...

Friday!

GLORY!!

And the ONLY thing that would make it a better Friday is if this was PAYDAY!

Alas, it isn't. Oh well.

It is HOT in my beloved ATL. It was just cold as all get out earlier this week.

The confusion continues.

Our beloved President is in town today. I left to go down the Curb Market for lunch, which is 6 blocks east of where he will be speaking.You would think that that would be up out of the way of all the traffic mess. It sort of was, but you best believe they had a bunch of police cars posted up at EVERY single intersection. UGH!!

Keep him safe. We don't want NUTHIN' happening to him in the ATL.

NUTHIN'!

Get in, get out.

That is all.

This has been a decent enough week. I'm just glad that it's Friday.

Thoughts on President's first 100 days. I haven't thought much about his first 100 days. Of course he hasn't fulfilled all these vainglorious promises. And nothing has convinced me that he takes it all that serious. I think the gravity of it all is starting to kick in, and with that, hopefully they will get the ball rolling.  Until then, and now, I will pray for our president. And keep it moving.

I don't watch a lot of news about it because it is so doggone negative. I am doing my best to keep my mind on positive things. The constant negativity is quite draining. So that is a goal of mine.

There is no CD of the week. BUT, Mary J. Blige came out with a new CD today.

Strength of a Woman

It is an interesting CD.

Why?

Because she is going through a divorce right now. And she spills much much tea on this CD.

One part in the song "Set Me Free" had me a bit... wide-eyed.


Tell me how you figure that you made me
And you gave me what I had before I met you
And gonna have it when you gone?
And how you fix your mouth to say I owe you
When you had another bitch and taking trips and shit with my money for so long?
You must've lost it!
Nigga, you won't get a dime!
Bout all you gonna get
Too bad I can't get back my time
Wasted all this time,
But I'm gonna be alright
Gonna be just fine.


Chorus:
Wooooo, there's a special place in hell for yooooooouu.....
You gonna pay for what you did to me...
I'ma tell you,  because the truth will set thee free.!  

*blink blink*

DANG.

That sounds like some rap lyrics, but she was crooning the cheese out of those words. 

That whole "there's a special place in hell for you" refrain... that is some anger right there. But what I can most identify with in that song is the loss of time. Time has been lost. And it will take time to get over the lost of time. 

A bit depressing, it is. It was NOT what I needed to be listening to when I am half sleep on a Friday morning.

And it is probably not meant to be depressing, but moreso introspective.

You know what it puts me in the mind of? Her second CD, My Life.

Do you remember that CD? That was a CLASSIC.

And she was all strung out over KC of Jodeci fame at the time. So it was full of angst. Full to the top.

I remember my friends and I thinking "She all strung out and pressed over some dayum KC? DANG!""

I guess she have to get all her stuff out in the open. Back then, some 23 years ago on the My Life CD, and now, with this divorcce.

I can appreciate that. I have been divorced, and yes, there are a lot of seriously complicated feelings involved. Best to get it out.  This is her avenue for expressing herself. And I respect that.

I will probably listen to the CD a few times this weekend so that I can properly digest it.  I may need to go pull the lyric sheet and read it, because the CD is highly conceptual.

I love Mary. We are the same age, and her career has spanned some 25 years.  So I remember being a 22-year-old, on the bus with my Walkman and headphones listening to cassettes and identifying with her. I was working at a Sunkist plant during the summer,  and I remember talking to a dude I worked with about that My Life CD and how it made me cry.

Mary and I are the same age, but there is a huge difference: she has to go through her messes in the public eye, and I go through mine in  private. I ponder this very point every time we are sitting around discussing some superstar's  private life. I secretly am thankful that I can deal with all my personal issues in private.  We ALL can deal with our issues privately.

Hmmm... There was a semi Food-for-Thought wrapped up in there.

And with that... I think I will put up my FAVORITE Mary J. Blige song. It is from the How Stella got Her Groove Back. It came out the year I got my PhD, some 19 years ago. (WOW has it been that long).

I remember because I turned my dissertation and the required copies (on cotton paper) into the graduate office. Then I walked up to the CNN center to see How Stella Got Her Groove Back. I was so doggone happy that day, sitting in the dark theater, smiling ear to ear. I'd finished school. I was "Dr. LadyLee".

Enough Reminiscing... Here is the Song of the Week: "Beautiful"



Okay... one more song since I am reminiscing: The song "Reminisce" from 25 years ago!!



 *lee chair dancing HARD*

And why do I know every single word to those songs? LOL

With that said, have a great weekend, on purpose.

Milk and Cookies Jr and Milk and Cookies 3.0

I went to the mailbox the other day and I was WONDERFULLY surprised!

I received pictures of my gorgeous little nephews, Milk and Cookies Jr. and Milk and Cookies 3.0.

'Shaun, aka, Milk and Cookies Jr!!  

Tristan,  aka Milk and Cookies 3.0!!

Such handsome boys, they are!

They are starting to look like their Pa, Milk and Cookies.

I'm not sure we can call him Milk and Cookies anymore, tho.

'Kari is Steak and Potatoes, now.

With a glass of Crown Royal.. straight, no ice.

LOL.

The boys will continue to be Milk and Cookies Jr. and 3.0, though.

And I will always and forever think of them like this.
 


Time is going by so fast...

Thank goodness for pictures! :)

On My Desk, Though

I arrived to work 30 minutes early this morning.

(I went to bed thinking I would get to work 2 hours earlier than usual but OH WELL).

I sat down in my cubicle and did what I usually do when I get to work - check my emails, write out my to-do list for the day, then talk trash to whoever has run up on me.

I got up to leave my cubicle and I see this over in the corner:

A little plant was sitting amongst my other plants.

*ladylee looks to the left*

*ladylee looks to the right*

Nobody was around. I'm not sure what I was thinking. For some odd reason, I thought that someone had sneaked up in my cubicle area and placed it there.

I hope this ain't no cannabis ativa plant, I thought as sniffed it and peered closely at the leaves of the plant.

If it was, I would've dropped kicked it directly into the trash...

... then I would've picked it up out of the trash and drop it into my bag.

Yes indeed.  

So I didn't say anything, as no one was really around.

I sat the plant down and ran off to the lab.

But Dr. Lin ran up on me in the lab asking about it.

"Did you leave a plant on my desk?" she asked.
"Not me, girl! I got one, too. I don't know who left it. It's nice, though."

We turned to another employee, Lady Charlie. "Girl, did you leave plants on our desks?"

"No," she said.

"Did you get a plant?" I asked.

"No," she said.

Hmm.

Dr. Lin looked confused. She went on to describe the density and consistency of the soil.

*crickets*

I was confused, as I didn't pay much attention to the soil.

But I was trying to run with her on it, though.

"Maybe it's that good soil, that type of dirt that releases water real slow."

We stood there and pondered this notion for a moment.

"I don't know who left the plant," Dr. Lin pondered.

"I don't either," I said. "But somebody'll step up."

"Besides," I continued, "people leave strange things on my desk all the time."

And yes, they do. I've eaten food that I have NO idea where it came from or who put it on my desk.

But it was good, though.

At times, I've made the biggest spectacle, yelling, "Blessing! The Lord knew I didn't make my lunch this morning, and He moved somebody to leave this tasty stew on my desk. BLESSING! Glory!"

*church shouts and church spins in my cubicle*

*cubicle folks kicking the hard eyeroll*

Yes, that free food is good.

And this free plant was good, too.

We stood there in all our confusion, doing our best to solve this mystery, when lo and behold, my former boss rolled up and said he'd left them on our desk.

"It's a tobacco plant. They make pretty flowers."

Aww. A tobacco plant!

That's that dedication right there. He works for the tobacco group and he likes tobacco plants. That's real. I'm not that dedicated.  I ain't thought NOTHING about buying a nice tobacco plant or a cigarette or anything related to tobacco. NOPE!

But that's alright, though.

I like my little tobacco plant.

It is a blessing.

I'm gonna water it and watch it grow.

On purpose.