Friday Freestyles... The Finance Edition.

Good Friday Morning.

Or Good Friday Afternoon.

Or Good Friday evening. 

Whichever it may be, because I been working on this here post ALL day long on my breaks.

I thought I would do something a little different for our freestyle Friday. I didn't get a chance to talk about my Triple F Posse meeting, so I will do that today.

So we got together at one of the local malls in the food court and caught up on all things financial.

The whole food court thing was O_o. Folks were giving out free samples, and you know me. If it is free, it is good.

Look, what had happened was... I had some Chinese food. This is fine. But I told the man to give me some rice, the veggie medley, and a piece of that orange chicken. This dude dump a couple of spoonfuls on my plate. Sigh. Dude. That broccoli veggie stuff was GREAT. I picked around at the chicken. I took 90% of that home and fed it to Oscar and Callie.

Both of them were soon laid out with the 'itis. Especially that Sister Callie:

Look at her wedged between the arm of the sofa and my leg. She is getting her 'itis induced beauty sleep. I guess that deep-fried fructose corn syrup orange glazed coated chicken do that to a feline. And a human, too. Cuz I myself had to go lay down somewhere and get my beauty sleep. I appreciate my raw spinach much more these days.

I now know how to get them to go to sleep.That's good.

One of the things that limits us is having a good regular meeting place. I am remotely thinking about having the meetings at my house. That way I am forced to clean and sand blast my house once a month. But hell... that is just going to stress me out something awful. I just don't know. And my house is so small that if you do a Wonder Woman spin, you will knock EVERYTHING over. I have to think hard about that one. If it means having regular meetings, then I may have to suck it up and figure it out.

Back to Finances.  It was good to catch up with everybody. And since it is more of a group where I can't share what all was said, I can choose to share my own thoughts and accomplishments.

Oh but I know I can tell one thing about another member. Ms. Erica got married to Mr. T., the male member of our group. Look at that ring:

It makes me want to sing that song, holler "BLING-BLING". Everytime ya see me "Bling-Bling! Everytime I come around the corner, "BLING-BLING!!"

Congrats Erica and Mr. T.! 

We always do a round robin and talk about our financial highs and lows. I will talk about mine here.

Kentucky and I did a 21 day financial fast back in March. Our meetings had sporadic, to the point where I thought we were on hiatus.  Kentucky kept asking when the meetings were, and hell, I didn't hear from anyone. So we did the fast together (It was scheduled for march anyway).

It went well enough. I always put away some extra money during these financial fasts. It also gives me a chance to watch my patterns, and set new savings goals, which I ended up putting into effect and that is doing just fine. There's another financial fast coming up in another couple of weeks and I will participate in that one too.

Payoffs. I finally paid off last years "blood" bill. If you can remember, I had to have nine iron infusions. These were $6000 apiece before insurance. After my insurance paid, they came up to $300 a piece for me. So overall, with infusions and doctor's visits cost, that came out to roughly $3000.  I paid just fine up until that last $900 bill. I would just move money out of savings and pay as the bills came. But I decided to just pay $100 a month for that last bill, just out of being hard-headed and not wanting to pay it off. (This was definitely a high class problem).

My rheumatologist said "Your iron storage levels are normal, and you can go and get infusions if you ever need them." That ain't going down unless I am about to fall out or something. I feel the same afterwards. I told her that it was all just too pricey. Yeah, if they were $50 apiece, that would be cool. But if I am paying $300 apiece, I better have some special Wonder Woman powers behind it. I'm just saying.

I also paid off a couple small credit card bills. All in all, it freed up some $180 of money. So that money is mostly going to savings or other things I need to pay off.

Credit score. Man... my credit score on all three reports ranged from 841-846.  Now, 850 is a perfect score. I don't know HOW that happened, as I been hanging in the 790s for several years.

I thought it was because my mortgage got sold. The way it looks is like I paid it off or something. And they have a mortgage amount some $30,000 more than what I paid for my house. That is what is paid off. Not sure whether to call the peoples about that. I think I will just watch it. The account number is correct, etc. So yeah... since it's not deleterious, then whatever.

The group thought it was because I paid off some cards. Ok. I will take ya'lls word for it.

Credit Card Application. I got a special application in the mail.  Check this out.
 

A black card application. Ain't that special?  It made me feel special. It truly did.

I felt special until I saw that $495.

Hated it!

We discussed this in the meeting. Kentucky was looking at the brochure and thinks highly of the concierge service they offered.

"I don't need concierge service," I hollered.

And I don't. That's what blogger Serenity_23 is for. She is a bit on the bootleg, but if I need some feminine type stuff and help she will help. She will help her good tomboy friend, she will. Kentucky will too. Between those two, I am good. And there services are free.

And I don't use credit cards that much. They said that you should spend $3000 in the first 3 months to get some bonus points. That is absurd.

I did a little digging around and found out that the real black card is by American express. $7500 annual fee to start. And you have to spend $250,000 a year.  You see me with that, you know I am robbing banks, selling drugs, selling azz on the corner or something else illegal.

No thank you! How can I get financially free doing that type of tomfoolery?

LOL

So that was fun, just to imagine.

Seems like what you really want is the metal card. That's what these "black" cards are made of. So when you place it on the table and it clinks, and people can ooooh and ahhhh.  You can impress folks with it.

You know me. People can kiss my ashy kneecaps. I ain't trying to impress NO ONE. Nope.

But that was it for my update to the group. I have no big goals right now except to have a holding pattern until the end of the year. There was an interesting discussion about sinking funds, and for the next month, I may be setting up a couple of specific ones instead of having one for everything.

Additionally, by December, I will have one of my emergency credit cards paid off. And savings will be extra healthy, where I want it to be. But that's about it.

One thing that resonated with me was that someone said they had to keep things straight because they had no one to go to if they needed help financially. That struck me to my core, and I think about it from time to time. I have to immediately chase that thought away by confessing that God has never left me high and dry, impoverished, or without help, and I have no reason to have fear.

And that is that. Period. But it still comes to mind. And it is still a reminder of maintaining good stewardship over what I possess, and aiming to get better and better with that with each passing day.

Amen. *fans self with Obama church fan*

Oh, and there's new people in the group. They weren't there. But you know how I am. I get quiet around new folk.  And it's already known that if things don't shake out right, I disappear. That's it. I don't discuss nothing.  It seems that that shouldn't be a problem as these new folks are earnestly working hard on their stuff. But if I come away all stressed, I am ghost. Just habit for me. I will go so far as to call it an idiosyncrasy. There is a reason for that. And it will be discussed in a food-for-thought discussion next week. Kentucky and I had one of them convos... sigh. (You know how my conversations can go off deep like the ocean).

I was glad to get back into the folds of the group. The discussion is always great, and it is also a "safe" place to say whatever you have to say, especially if you messed up, without judgment. And that's what I like. Some are doing very well. Some are just getting along. But we all learn something from each other.  And I LOVE that, honey.

Alright, that's the recap. Sorry for the late posting. Busy as a bee today. Sigh.

I start a 30 day detail on Monday. That should be... interesting.

More about that later.

All I know, I better make it a great weekend. On purpose.

And you do the same.  

Food-for-Thought: Notes from the Triple F Posse Meeting!

This weekend I attended my first meeting of our beloved Triple F Posse. 

Better known as the Financial Freedom Fighters Posse.

We even have our own gang sign... as demonstrated years ago by my baby brother Milk and Cookies.


If you have read here over the years, it is just a group of us women, from all financial backgrounds, who get together and talk about financial issues. Personally, I like to try to read a financial book or participate in some type of class every year. Last year was the first time in a very long time that I didn't actively do anything to push my financial habits and dealings in a more positive direction.  I did ok, but I was just in my usual holding pattern... just working the principles I'd already learned in our meetings and the books I have read.

Well, the Triple F Posse has been having meetings this year, but I haven't attended. I'd see mention on facebook after the fact, in some email I missed, but that's it. But this time, for the April Meeting, my homegirl, blogger The Green Eyed Bandit, convinced me to go. I had missed much, but I know how she is. She didn't want to hear any excuses.

She knows that I feel like I don't offer much to the group. Like I said, I'm in a holding pattern. I just don't have much to offer the group.

But I decided to be nosy and... show my face.

Oh how glad I attended.

I wanted to post up a few notes and thoughts on what I learned.

1. Don't sink your ship trying to save someone else's ship. 

I thought that was a spectacular. Just awesome. Why? Because it is true.

Now, I have gotten in plenty of trouble over the years concerning this. For some odd reason, people think I am rich. Maybe it is because my name has a "Dr." tacked on to the front of it. I don't know what it is. But I will tell you, I have been called every name under the sun for not emptying my bank account just because...

Your finances being raggedy don't mean mine have to be. Nope. And you can't hate me for it. Get the heck on. Not gonna sink my ship TRYING to save your ship. And we all know eventually both ships will sink. Really.

I do my part in helping. But some folk you just can't help enough. And I simply can't afford them. I just don't make enough money. Sad to say, but it is what it is.

That quote came from the lone brother in our women's group. That was some serious knowledge he dropped. It was great to have a male's perspective on such, as he has been in danger of sinking his own ship many a time. He has built up the courage to be a little more stringent about things. And it gave me a little hope and courage to see that others have those same issues and have found ways to work on them too.

2. You can't control what people think. But you can control yourself and your thoughts about your path and your personal goals.

How true is that?

All too true. There are waaaaay too many times that I have made decisions, and somehow I hesitated on taking action. Why? Because I was pondering what people would think of it.

Tell me... how much time do we waste pondering what people will think of our decisions?  Or worse yet, when we make bad decisions, how often do we say "Oh shoot. People gonna talk about me."

How much would we get done if the ignorance, negativity and snickering concerning our problems by people who get a kick of us having a hard time?

Hmm...

Fortunately, the older I get the more I notice that I am growing out of this.  You know my criteria. If you're not being a blessing to me, and I'm not being a blessing to you, then you can go jump in the lake. I don't have time for the drama. And neither do you. I am FULLY convinced that out of the 7 billion people on this earth, there are folks out there more than happy to lift me up when I am down. There are people who won't laugh at my poor decisions, or my decisions to better myself. They will help me and encourage me. And I will do the same for them.

3. It can be a lonely place... the loneliness that comes with setting better goals for yourself and meeting them.

That one speaks for itself. When we are going against the grain, and not running nilly willy with the trends that the crowd tend to run to, then people tend to fall away from our lives. We agreed that that is true when it comes to sticking with a plan that moves us toward our financial goals. People realize that you can't do all the fun things you use to do. You are more stringent with yourself. You are trying to better yourself and your life. And people fall away when that happens.

4. Your financial blessings come because God recognizes your are being a good steward of your money. 

I think the brother in our group dropped this piece of knowledge. I agree. As a matter of fact, it is a part of my vision statement. I want to be a good steward of my money. No, that doesn't mean giving all your money to the church. That is an unwise thing to do. (And you know where I go to church. Interestingly, stewardship is what I've been taught. Be a good steward. A good manager of your money).

No, being a good steward means being a good manager of your finances. Taking the time to budget and get rid of debt. Your money is YOU. It represents the time you traded for your services on your job. So there is no wonder that people get all up in arms about it. Heck, we should. Your money is YOU.

So why not treat it with respect? And deal honestly with it? And have good motives concerning it.

There are no get rich quick schemes here. Only good stewardship.

5. What or who is sabotaging your success when it comes to reaching your financial goals?

That was the discussion question for the second hour of our 2 hour meeting. All of our answers were interesting and diverse.

Sabotaging means what is messing you up. So, you're going along just fine. Is anything or anyone keeping you from reaching the goal in a reasonable manner and time, or are you neglecting to utilize some resources to meet these goals?

I won't answer for anyone else, but while spending time listening to the others talk about what is sabatoging their efforts, I thought about my own. For myself, it is simply getting off track. I will set financial rules and boundaries for myself, and for awhile, I will be making great progress. And then I will say "Gee, I am doing well. I can take a break for a week from my rules, routine and schedules. Well, a week turns into a month. A month turns into two months. And before I know it, I have wasted valuable time and resources.

And that's not good. I have wasted valuable time and resources.  I have sabotaged myself.

I want to get out of that vicious cycle. So that is something I will be working on.

6. Money Mondays. I know that I said that I didn't go to meetings because I feel that I don't contribute much to the process. I always walk away with a few ideas and nuggets to help me along. And that is always good. But I want to be helpful at the same time.

My contribution to the meeting was talking about something I do every Monday. And when I do it, it is a good thing. I have been somewhat slack on it, meaning I may do it 80% of the time. That's not good enough. It needs to be a consistent thing.

I call it "Money Mondays".  It is just me simply sitting down for 10 to 20 minutes on every Monday and looking at my bank accounts and/or making a few goals for the day or week. Plain and simple.

The group thought this was a great idea. I did too, as it works well for me. I always have a short list of financial things to do, or I may check to see what bills need to paid, etc. 

For example, today's goal was to make a couple of calls about medical bills. I lost one, and they being all slow with the other. These iron infusions are going to run me around a grand after insurance, and uh... I need to get on that and pay it soon.  But I haven't gotten one of the bills. So I took care of that. I also checked to see whatever automatic bill pays kick in this week and to see if I need to make adjustments and what not.

I also go to traffic court tomorrow. So I took time to organize paperwork and pictures of ol' Lucy. I was telling one of my more spirited coworkers who, uh, seems to have much dealings in traffic court that I was gonna take a grand with me, and if that would be enough for me to walk free. To which she hollered "NO!!! You don't need that much!!!"

Cowgirl Cre said, her eyes wide... "Somebody gonna rob you and pay their own ticket."

O_O

LOL. I saw that I can pay by check. And if I can't beat the ticket, it is $194. I hope I don't have to do jail time. I know one of ya'll will come break an Oldgirl out, right?

So I thought about all that and took care of one of the bills today for my "Money Monday" goals.  I also made a short to-do list for the rest of the week.

Not bad for around 15 minutes of time concentrated on money matters, right?

I told them it doesn't sound like much time, but over many weeks, that little bit of time adds up. And over a year's time, it really adds up.

It is a small goal. And let's face it. If you are like me, you get overwhelmed by really big money goals. I have to eat it all like I eat an elephant... one tiny bite at a time.

Look at me! Making a contribution to a meeting! *cartwheels*

So those are my notes and thoughts following our meeting.

I am sooooo glad I attended the meeting.  I think it was one of the most poignant meetings we've ever had.

Thanks Green Eyed Bandit for coaxing me into coming to the meeting. I am more motivated than ever!

*throws up Triple F Posse gang sign*

My Thoughts on the 21 Day Financial Fast

I am not sure how I should write this post. Not sure at all,

I would like for it to be as short as possible. (yeah right!)

Why did I do this? I have blogged elsewhere about that. Here at my spot, in a post detailing my financial goals, and in an Introduction to Serenity and crew's 21 day Financial Fast that started up on this past Monday (that one was LONG and drawn out. I think I even upset myself with my longwindedness, lol). I think those post taken along with this one encompass the total span of my thoughts and feelings.

But my major reason for doing this is that I needed an attitude adjustment. And I had a stank attitude in the midst of doing some great things recently, like going debt free in April. Last year, I paid off a medical bill I've had since the age of 24. I paid off a 21 year old credit card, which at his height, had a balance of $11,000.00.

Great things.

But with a jacked attitude. I started traveling last year. Oh Lawd, that didn't help. I learned you can pretty much be laid out somewhere in the Caribbean or Mexico for a good price.

I've been praying about my attitude. Yeah, I whine, but I wrap it up with twice as much praise and gratitude. But I still needed some help. Deep down, it was worrying me a bit. And with my having an autoimmune disease that hinges on how I'm feeling emotionally, well... that ain't good.

So, what happened during this time? Well, it is hard to describe. It's sort of kinda like taking a nice stroll down the street. It is pretty and sunny, the birds are singing. You're enjoying your leisurely stroll...

Then you trip up on a crack in the sidewalk. You're surprised. You do what you do to try and catch your balance. If you did indeed bust your tail on the ground, you get straight back up and make sure no one is looking and what not. You know the drill.

That's what this was like. It was an interruption in my normal routine of doing whatever the heck I felt like doing. I had to check myself on the mental tip. I had to really examine what was going on with me. And there was a lot. The way the journaling questions were set up was right on time and very helpful.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm always hollering about every problem has a root. Deal with the root, and the problem soon dies along with it. The root to my anger and busted mentality was fear. Fear of much that I don't care to go into here.

But if you are doing the fast with Serenity and the crew, or just reading along over her way, or simply lurking around over there, you will see something quite interesting going on: people are openly discussing what's on their hearts, and the layers are being peeled away... slowly. But I can see, after going through this, that that was the whole point anyway: the surfacing of fears, concerns, and convictions that are on our hearts... and the realization that we are not alone.

For that I am grateful. THAT was the gist of this thing: A very thorough self examination.

My sister asked how I was doing in the midst of all this.

"In the midst of all the stringency, I feel very free in my mind."

This was definitely the result of a prayer. I don't know about you, but when I pray, paths start to open up immediately. I don't just stand around pondering. And I don't kick out in a full sprint down said path. I tend to, with my scientific and analytical self, casually investigate... and in this case, I am glad that I did.

So, uh, what happened on the financial tip? Now, with any good fast, you're voluntarily setting down some habits, and infusing in new ones for a period of time. Can't shop, can't raise the roof, can't spend money, so... uh, might as well get all up into your own personal bizness.

I tell you, when you have to sit down and dig around in detail in your own activities, it is definitely an eye opener.

I did something interesting over the last 2 days:

1. I compared my spending over the 21 days prior to the fast, to the 21 day fast itself.

2. I looked at the average of my spending on groceries, shopping, gas, and eating out over the first quarter of the year.

Now, me and Serenity emailed about this today. I threw the information out at her, and she was a bit neutral about it. But I know she was sitting on that computer screaming on the inside, lol.

Because I was. I must admit, I was a bit nauseous. And my tail was sitting in a very important meeting concerning some stuff going on in the news. (Yeah, I should've been paying attention, but I was trying to keep from hurling all over the place).

So, I'm gonna be honest and forthright and put it all out there. We all friends here in the House of LadyLee. Let's look at this:

Over the past 21 days, my total spending was about $340 dollars. I have no kids or family (baby sis Kentucky lives with me, but she takes care of her own groceries, gas, etc.), so yes, it's a bit much for me. Remember now, that I'm transitioning out to vegetarian over the past year (shameless plug: Vegetarian Week in June coming up!), and I eat 90% fresh organic fruit and vegetables, which close to doubles my grocery bill. So my grocery budget was close to 75 dollars a week. Gas was about 15 bucks a week. $30 bucks was for the lawn care. My meds ran about 13 dollars after insurance. The rest was for a trip to Wal-mart (you know, stuff like cleaning supplies, paper products, etc., is what really bites you in the wallet!)

This was reasonable enough.

However, taking a look at the 21 days prior to the fast was an eye opener. Approximately 100 bucks eating out. Shopping ran about 120 dollars.

Grocery: A little over 500 dollars.

Look... don't even ask how that happen. I cannot tell you. Well, I can. It was that little ish. Like 20 dollars here, 30 dollars there, etc. You do that a dozen times outside of the regular grocery trips, well... I didn't know (or didn't pay attention), but it adds up!

Oh, that just bothered me to my core! Oh that just... made me want to throw myself off the roof.

Surely this was an anomaly. But, looking at the past 3 months, well, that confirmed it for me:

Average per month (January-March).

$175.00/per month Shopping
$60/per month Gas
$60/per month eating out
$585.00/per month Grocery bill.

Man... I am tripping on that grocery bill. That is HORRIFYING. And I don't know where it went. I mean, doggonit, no one around here eats THAT much. Yep, my organic cheesed out my bill, but not that much. But just looking at it, it's that silly spending that I do: 20 bucks here, 30 bucks there... that's what I'm seeing on paper. That adds up.

So, herein lies the problem.

And as far as I'm concerned, the problem is easy to solve. Chop down that grocery bill, and we are in business.

So, what are my goals and solutions. Okay, this long post is coming to an end.

Get a new budget!!!!! On this fast, I had no problem sticking to 75 dollars a week. Heck, I did so much record keeping that I can probably close in on 60 bucks a week (that's stretching it for organic. Really. But it may be doable. We will see).

So here's the new budget:

$100.00/per month Shopping (I hate shopping, so not a problem)
$60/per month Gas
$50/per month eating out (3-4 days a month eating out)
$300.00/per month Grocery bill.

That's the best I can do. I would love to get that grocery bill down to 200 dollars per month. This might be doable, as this is open air farmer's market season. I also made some great changes in how I shopped. Also, I have to carefully deal with Wal-Mart trips. You know how it is, thinking that you're just gonna run in there for a couple of items and it turns into some craziness. I have to reel that in.

I'm definitely NOT using my debit card again. I like the cash system. I've been trying that out off and on for years. No, it's not all that convenient, but this ain't about convenience anyway. It's about doing better with my money, and working with cash helps.

Alright, you can judge if you want. Go tally up your stuff and find the hole in your stuff, and then come back and shake your finger at me. And you know me. I REALLY don't give a...

Alright, don't get me opening my Book of Cuss.

Moving on.

Shore up Grandma's bank account. I gave Grandma a debit card under my name a good 2 years ago. The author of the book discussed helping people, so that's my part: hook up Grandma. I set a new minimum that I would like to see in her account at any given time, and I was able to take care of that during the fast. I am happy about that.

Decide on savings goals. Not saying how much I want to save per month, because I'm still pondering that. I know SingleMa has a $5K goal match going on her blog for this month, and that ain't gonna happen. I can do that if i knock off one of those zeroes. And I can go stick up the drug dealers who man the street corner. But I like that they have a challenge going on. That is cool, and it makes me think.

Now how much was I able to save over this 21 day period? And what I mean by that is how much am I able to move into my ING account today?

$1000.00.

I was NOT expecting that. It sort of killed off the dry heave feeling of the out of control grocery bill. It had me all giddy indeed.

Biggest thing I learned from this fast? Uh, I know the difference between a want and a need. They are as different as night and day. Different as water and fire. That saved my tail the whole way through.

"Do I need this?" has become the question of the moment these days.

It is critically important that I spend time examining myself in my financial matters and otherwise. Like I said, being part of a finance group has been so helpful over the years, as it has been the core to keeping me reined in on financial matters. This fast took things from a monthly level to a daily level, which was highly necessary.

Equally important, and I didn't know this until reading the book (well, I did, as we do this in my finance group- we do this a lot lately, and those have been our best meetings), is the examination of fears and emotions that keep me from striving in my finances.

For myself, I have to work on my attitude. I must admit that it wasn't bad during this time, and that was refreshing.

Overall, this was a pretty good experience for me, as necessary as spring cleaning of my house.

This was a spring cleaning of my financial house.

I didn't mess up all over the place like I thought I would be doing. No I wasn't perfect. I spent 6 dollars on nonessentials during this time, and that didn't stop me. I took it day by day, and did my best.

As a result, I'm working on being honorable in my finances. I have new rules for my finances. New goals. I'm going to work and reinforce the new habits I have obtained, and I am NOT interested in going back to the way things were.

I have a new attitude.

So that's a recap of my experience. Definitely not brief, and not really all that detailed. I think what needed to get done got taken care of.

And that's a good thing.

~~~D U N~~~

*LadyLee walks out on the stage, grabs the microphone out of the microphone stand with BOTH hands*

"DUN"

*LadyLee slams the microphone to the ground. It explodes into a million pieces and sets the stage on fire*

"DUN"

That's what my blog bruh 12Kyle says on the social networks when he's done for the day and 'bout to go to bed.

That's what I, The Oldgirl, say now that my

21 day Financial Fast

is

over.

21 days, mayne. 21 days.

"DUN"

You know, I can't even begin to fully understand and comprehend what this has done for not only my finances....

But for my heart.

And my mentality, my attitude.

(It is bringing some serious tears to my eyes, ya'll. Had to step off into the kitchen and have some communion- a piece of wheat bread and a shot glass of berry juice.)

"DUN"

I am done.

And that had to be one of the most enlightening times of my life right there. Straight up.

Serenity is bugging me about writing a post about it. I will, but I'm still trying to tally up my numbers.

Let's just say, the amount of money I've calculated that I was wasting is gonna make you want to reach through your computer and slap the cheese out of me.

The amount of money I saved is gonna make your eyes pop. (Made me see *crickets*)

All in all, going through this has been a HUGE accomplishment and blessing. This was like, one big intangible gift to myself.

So hopefully I'll talk about it on Friday.

You know me and my longwinded tail. I'm gonna write a long version for me, then scale it way down.

Until then, go check out what that Original Oldgirl Serenity and crew are up to on their 21 day fast. They're handling some SERIOUS bizness over in the House of Serenity.

If you're not inspired by whatever it is that's going on with everybody financially, well... I don't know what to tell you!

My post will be up on Friday.

Until then.

I'm DUN.

Amen.

Goodnight.

I'll holler!

*LadyLee runs off stage doing the hard Rocky victory cheers*

On Being Finally Free

Happy Fools Day!

Man, that sounds a hot mess. Who came up with April Fool's Day?

There will be plenty of pranks pulled today. Some good, some bad.

I'm gonna celebrate the day in a different way.

Like I said, I had a FANTASTIC weekend. Please realize that "fantastic" to me is not at considered fantastic to others. If you know anything about me, I absolutely loathe being in sync with what's popular with the crowd.

One of my activities this weekend was attending my monthly Triple F Possee meeting. That's our nickname for our group, The Financial Freedom Fighters.

It's not an investment group. It is simply a group of ladies getting together and talking about their finances. We look at the good, the bad, and the ugly of what we did that month, and we openly share ideas and personal goals.

This month's meeting was at Ray-Rays house. She lives waaaaay out in the country. I mean, I have to pass farms and cows to get to her house. I live in a downtown inner city neighborhood, and I am usually no more than 20 minutes from everything, but the jaunt to her house is at least 40 minutes. (Pack a lunch and some good music to get to Ray Rays house, lol).

Our meetings are usually refreshment free. I bring chocolate chip cookies (only if someone reminds me).

But Ray-Ray is an entertainer, and she had refreshments:

Popcorn and Kool Aid!

I'm allergic to Kool-Aid. (This completely confuses black folks). But it usually makes me break out.

I hadn't had any in years. But Ray-Ray had the good kind, the RED flavored one, with lemons cut up in it! So I decide to have some. (And my eye swole up later that night, like someone had socked me, lol. But it was worth it!)

Ray-Ray's son Eric kept walking through.

Of course, he had to deal with my scolding and harrasment. I did not care for the shiny shirt and hustler hat he had on. ("Boy, you got a rap gig tonight or something?"), and I didn't like him quietly walking through while we had our meeting. (Dude, you betta knock on the door when you come in this house!")

This is also a time when I get a TON of crocheting done. I am currently working on baby blankets.


This one is for my group secretary. She's been hounding me about seeing it. That's as much of a glimpse as you're going to get, Shon... You have to wait for it!

The core of our financial discussions surrounds the Dave Ramsey plan. We watched a good video of his concerning making and planning budgets.

But I was happy to tell the sistas something that I didn't think I would be able to tell them for at least another couple of years.

This month, I will be debt-free, minus the house.

It was the first time that I felt like I had contributed something to the group. Some good news.

I'm usually a bit surly during meetings as of late.

"Listen, ain't nothin' happenin' right now. I'm gonna be faithful and sincere and pay my bills. THAT'S IT!"

I get really bad with the "I don't want to talk about it, Man!!"

I am glad that they ignored my mini rants and allowed me to stay in the group. I think I was gonna even sit out of the group this year, but my leader, The Green Eyed Bandit (dang lurker), wasn't having it.

I guess it's like trying to get out of a street gang. Not gonna happen.

My biggest issue has been what plagues my life in many different areas: My being very angry with myself.

I was just mad, man. I got hit with a big tax bill, from some mess from 10 years ago, back in October. I had to pay 500 bucks for a new toilet because I'd dropped an ink pen into the old one. Looked like I was working hard, paying things off for NO reason at all. Just mad, man.

I wanted to make contributions to the group. I wanted to have success stories like my fellow fighters. I just felt like I wasn't making a contribution. So why be there?

I had to go back to my old adage: Words are everything.

Hearing the words of my sistas, their talk of fighting to be financially free, the things that went bad that month and how they would correct the actions...

There's an interesting piece of scripture I like: "Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God."

Well, I've found that I can extrapolate that out to other parts of my life.

My faith is increased by whatever I'm hearing.

And you know this is true. we see it every day. You see it all over blogland. From natural hair, to working out, to eating right, to goal setting.

I needed to hear and read words. Words that increased my faith.

The more I hear debt-free, the more I can believe in being debt free. We've already had one sista hit it, and another is slated to be there in June... So I can believe it is possible.

And that time is here. I only owe about 120 bucks right now, and I haven't paid that because I am actually waiting on the bills to come in the mail. I have one bill now, and I think I will just call to see how much the other is for. I REALLY don't want to overpay.

So I will let this day, April Fools day, be a day that I become debt free.

A day I do something good for myself.

So thanks, Triple F Possee, for letting this Oldgirl sit in meetings and mean mug and crochet furiously.

Know that in all my ranting, I was listening to your words, working out things in my head.

I can now go on to reach other goals the group has been working on.

And I gladly drink a glass of Kool-Aid to that!!

Cost Cutter Tips, Part II

(Click here for Cost Cutting Tips, part I)

That whole "Find a Sugar Daddy" cost cutting tip had me a bit perturbed...

Had me thinking about asking Tiffy D to add another cost cutter tip to her board.

Had me staring at the board, thinking of something similar, but much different.

You know me. I just don't think about a woman laying on her back and getting her bills paid.

Like, have I done this before?

Nope. Although I have appreciated a little cash left on the dresser after the deed is done and dude is putting on his clothes the next morning.

(Stop tripping. Think waaaay back. You've done it. If not, I see that nose of yours growing.)

LOL. (That was in my young wild days. An Oldgirl don't have to resort to no craziness like that anymore).

I think of all that peripheral stuff, though. And that little ish whether remotely related or not.

And in my older years, my conscience be messing with me. I would be thinking now that, I've prayed about this, and here I am ditching answered prayer and resorting to THIS.

Thank God for age and wisdom.

Now, I learned from Racer X, to, when writing, always be thinking and looking out for stuff, so you know... sometimes I ponder, and search my own life for a few things. Stuff that happens to me, or I come across in my life tends to linger in my mind.(Yeah, and I am working on a part of a story involving such specail "cost-cutter" tips).

And for some reason, it sent my mind back to December.

**fuzzy wavy lines, fade to black**

Back in December, my beloved Grandmother needed a hot water heater.

I think I caught wind of this through my Auntie Joyce, because Grandma (who I call "Mama") would NEVER utter a peep about needing some help (she and I are A LOT alike in that respect).

I had been having weird escrow isshas all year, but in December, I got a phat escrow overpayment check back. So I wanted to do something, like help grandma.

Now, I have a neighbor, Tim, who owns and rents out about 60 houses. I had already checked with Hom.e Depo.t, and I guess it would have cost roughly some $600-700 bucks to get the water heater and labor. But I called up my neighbor, who has workmen doing all kinds of handy work.

So I called up Tim.

Tim answers. "Whassup, baby?"
"Yeah, wassup... check it out. You got anybody who can install water heaters?" I asked.
"What's wrong?"
"My grandma's water heater is going out. I need a new one."
"You bought it already?"
"Nope."
"I bought all the appliances from the people next door. [They foreclosed. We have a TON of foreclosures on our street.]"
"How much you want for it, man?"
"$150.00"
"That'll work," I said. "That one would've been 400 bucks at Hom.e Dep.ot".
"Well it's only a year old. You can get it."
"Can I write you a check?"
Tim groans. "N'awl baby, it's all about that cash."
"Okay. Well, you got anyone who can hook that up?"
"Yeah, E can. Hold on."

He clicks over and we have a three way convo with E. E says he'll meet me at my grandma's house that night. I meet him at Grandmas, he checks out the situation. The leaky water heater had rotted out the flooring, so he needs to replace the floor boards. He gives me a cost of labor, said he'll get to it the next day.

The job is 70% cheaper than it would be through Home Depot.

The Oldgirl saves a ton of bread.

And Grandma is full of glee. She won't admit it, but she's glad she don't have to heat her water up on the stove, circa Color Purple days.

So, two days later, I see Tim sitting out on his porch down the street. He is on the phone. I yell for him to call me when he gets a chance. He gives me a thumbs up.

He calls 5 minutes later.

"Hey baby."
[He KILLS me with that. No married man should be calling me baby.]
"'Sup boy, check it out, I have your money. I got E's money, too."
"Yes, I talked to E. It took him alllll day to do that."
"Really?"
"Yeah, cuz your grandma's floor was f***** up! He had to put braces under the house, blah, blah blah."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but he's a good man. A damn good man. Always does a good job."
"Well, I'm happy about that. Like I said, I got ya'll's bread."
"Cash, sweetie."
"Yeah." I count out his money and put it in an envelope.
"You know, you don't have to pay 150 bucks."

I thought that was nice of him. But I had the money, and I could get a discount, well...

"Look baby, give me 20 dollars and a little sex, and we can call it even."

After a few seconds of hesitation, I laughed REALLY REALLY hard.

"Girl, what's so funny. I'm serious."

**crickets**

**silence**

"You know you trippin', right?"
"You know I've been trying to get at you."
"Shorty, you got me straight up confused. You better take this bread and call it a day."
"Give in, girl!!"

I hung up in his face.

He sent one of our locals, Mr. Thomas, who is known to be, how should I say, quite fond of "the pipe", for the money. I yelled at a smiling Mr. Thomas, and tell him not to take this money to the crackhouse. Take it straight to Tim. I stare at him as he take the short walk across the street and three houses away.

This made me think...

And understand how things get started...

Tim is the ultimate Sugar Daddy type. I need to talk to him about chilling out with that craziness, because he runs up on the wrong chick, and he'll be looking straight crazy.

But I've thought about women who do the Sugar Daddy thing... women who knowingly, or unknowlingly, do what they gotta do to get that money or to get some services.

And then there's that indirect foggy type stuff, like the scenario described above and other scenarios.

And I love my grandma...

It would've all been for the love of Grandma! LOL.

Doing what you gotta do for services...

Getting some handyman work is no different than getting those bills paid.

For instance, me and LadyTee would sit around marveling at my mother's next door neighbor. This chick would have all kinds of upgrades on her house. I mean, we would think, HOW do you get so much work done? DANG. She didn't have the hot, hot job.

One answer: She trades sex for work on her house.

That's what I heard, to say the least, from a more than reliable source...

A super duper Sugar Daddy cost-cutting tip with a special twist... where it don't look so bad.

Imagine the look on my face, to this day, when that woman speaks a friendly hello.

I have to ask my gang leader Tiffy D to add another cost cutter tip to her board.

Trade sex for handyman service and special price cuts on water heaters.

(Yeah, Tiffy D is going to give me the *gas face* for THAT one.)

No one would ever puch such a thing on their list of special cost cutting tips.

But it happens all the time, more than you think. (Yeah, I coulda worked out a nice "free" purse a while back (you remember that post).

It just reminds me, you can slip and fall into a uh, a little special "cost cutting" of your own if you're not paying attention...

You really can.

Cost Cutter Tips!

I am a proud and active member of the finance group of my Book Club.

We have affectionately named our little group the Financial Freedom Fighters, i.e,

"The Triple F Possee"

We are a gang of sorts.

We even have gang signs, as lovingly demonstrated below by my baby brother Milk and Cookies.

We thrown the gang sign up high in the air, and hoop and holler real loud at the book club meetings when our Gang Leader Tiffy D gives the monthly group update.

We even have our own slogan...

FFF Possee... ACTIVATE!!!We're dedicated to putting the major beat down on debt. We have weekly online discussions, and meet once a month.

(Things got a little heated online a couple of weeks ago. I was wailing about car isshas, talking about how I was itchin' to go out and get that Lexus I want. I caught a verbal beat down, and I had to send a virtual Celie crooked two-fanger point at my leadership. But the broads smacked me back into line, and an Oldgirl appreciates that:)

A couple of weeks ago, we had a meeting, and my "Gang Leader" Tiffy D brought out a chalk board and we brainstormed concerning cost cutter tips. The list of things we came up was as follows:

Use coupons, from the Sunday paper and Online.
Get a doggie bag when you go out to eat. That can be tomorrow's lunch.
Don't order drinks/appetizers/desserts
Take your lunch to work
Always use a grocery list when shopping
Don't shop hungry
Buy in bulk
Find free or inexpensive activities (like free jazz concerts at the park)
Find a Sugar Daddy
Shop consignments/goodwill/yard sales
Take advantage of budget billing
Carpool or take train to work.
Check the library for our book club selections before buying the book
Give service coupons as gifts (this is good for kids- like giving a coupon for a car wash or cutting grass)
Swap excess items
Sell stuff on ebay or craigslist.

Now, I do much of the above. Some of those are my answers, even. I usually pack a lunch for work. I tend to carpool. I check the library before I buy any books. I have done much from that list above.

Oh but wait...

Hold up...

There is one that made me giggle a bit, in the midst of deeply disturbing me at the same time.

Find a Sugar Daddy.

LOL!!!!

That is too funny. I remember when my book club sister "Ray-Ray" yelled that one out. She's married and all, but I saw a doggone bright twankle in her eye, and she smiled a bit too hard.

Find a Sugar Daddy.

Funny, I know...

But I bet that has crossed every woman's mind at one time or another.

Don't look at me in the tone of voice!!

I won't lie, it has crossed mine. I've discovered it deeply embedded in some of the statements I've made in my journals and when thinking out loud over the years, and as of late.

"Shoot, I could have that Lexus I want, paid for with cash, if I wasn't doing everything on my own."

And I've caught myself saying to dudes over the past couple of years...

"The only reason that I would get with you is to get laid and so you can pay some of my bills."

Yeah, that causes a smile AND an argument all at the same time (I hear "Ain't nothin' wrong with that" followed by "Golddigga!!").

My number one reason for opting not to be in a relationship right now is jacked up motives related to such.

Bad motive. Ya'll know how I feel about checking my agendas and motives.

An Oldgirl needs to straighten out her faith. So why don't I just sit my tail right here and chill out until my motives get right.

(Stop tripping. If I can't be honest with myself, then who can I be truly honest with?)

With that said, something interesting happened late last year...

To be continued...