Oh my...
22 Tuesday Thoughts??
Yes.
10 wasn't enough, and I kept going. And going. And going.
Until I got to 22. And it's cool that it worked out that way, especially since it's such a limited topic. But I've gone back and read my journal entries over the last couple of months and the trends have generated many a thought. Might as well write it all down, right?
So here we go. Warning: it's a lot.
1. My ultimate goal: Do my
"morning pages" every day for a year.
2. I have been working on this since December 24th, 2014. I am up to around page 450. If I did this right, I would have some six to seven hundred pages right now.
3. I should be doing three pages a day. But after spring forward, i.e., turning the clock forward one hour in the spring, that stopped. I couldn't wake up early enough, and I haven't really recovered. My average journal entry is 2 full college ruled pages a day. I find that three pages is best. I am more apt to be honest with myself. There is more revelation, too.
4. I tell you one thing I know for sure: I am thoroughly aware beyond a shadow of a doubt what goes on just beneath my emotional skin. That's good, but it's also very painful. But I am thankful that I can put a proverbial mirror up to face and right about it.
5. I am way too much aware of my bad habits. It's like a thin thread, a dark theme that weaves throughout the full 450 pages.
6. I am very good at encouraging myself.
7. There are several instances of things I am concerned about or wonder about in the very back recesses of my mind, and I notice that those things get answered or cleared up, usually within a very short period of time.
8. Favorite verse that I write about (to encourage myself, no less): Psalms 138:8
God perfects those things that concern me. That means calm down, God got this. What's crazy interesting is that He takes care of stuff that concerns me that I don't even
know concern me. That's a hard sentence to understand, but let it marinate for a few days. You'll get it.
9. I get depressed during my PMS time. And I spend time writing about being depressed and not knowing why. Then suddenly, Aunt Flo knocks at the door and barrels through with her suitcase. All of a sudden, it's like a dark cloud being lifted from around my head. And I can see the marvelous sun, lol. But it's quite interesting to go back and read and see the trends and how dark my writing will get. It had me all O_o.
10. I spend more time journalling than I care to about work-related concerns. There are good-sized paragraphs on what kind of technical instrument maintenance I need to do, and what paper I need to read, etc. I don't like that, as it feels like a waste of paper. But since it's on my mind, it's good to write about it. What is fascinating is how much I write the words
I can't wait to get to work today.
11. My journaling time habit: from around 7:00 am to 8:00 am. I'm usually laying across the bed writing. I spend about 20% of the time trying to do the right thing and journal at my dining room table.
12. If I'm too sleepy, I misspell words and my handwriting looks like that of a serial killer. It tends to look the worse kind of chicken scratch. So I make sure to get up and walk around or splash some water on my face if that's happening.
13. Mitch is fascinated with my ink pen and he likes to place his backside on my paper. It is quite disturbing.
14. I am rarely angry about anything. I think that got squashed once I heard the quote
Anger is an expression of fear. My pastor said if you're angry, spend time on the root, i.e., the fear. As a result, I spend much time with the question
Why am I afraid?
15. I find that I get highly "annoyed".
16. What's so interesting about being annoyed is that I spend time thinking and writing about my part in the annoyance and solutions to the dissipation of it. And that's a good thing.
17. I find that I keep a great record of all the goodness in my life. A TON of folks pass through my life and bless me. I can hardly keep up, but it is good to record it all. I didn't realize how much my cup runneth over until I started writing about it. I tell you one thing: it's like throwing a huge bucket of water on the fire called murmuring and complaining.
18. I always journal with a good waterproof pen, because there are pages where my tears have fallen and the letters of the words bleed.
19. My gal Val (Serenity_23) over at
Living My Faith read in a book that your written prayers are stronger than your spoken prayers. She and I chit-chat alot, and she keeps a very detailed and immaculate prayer journal. That stuff comes to past like crazy. So I went back and looked around at some of my written prayers throughout my morning pages. I was wondering why when I wrote a prayer down (which was always rare) that the turnaround on it is super fast, sometimes being answered only a few hours later. Hmm... Gal Val's reading is not only good for her, but good for me. Keep sharing with me, chick! Because your girl is listening really close.
20. I keep wondering... how much will I understand about myself after a 1000 pages of journaling? Only time will tell.
21. Despite my pockets of unbridled ratchetness, I pontificate and think about spiritual things 90% of the time. That is good I suppose. But I always wonder how much my ratchetness affects me. Hmm.
22. I am happiest when I am sowing seed. I write a ton about that. I didn't realize how much seed I sow (and things as little as a positive compliment I count as seed). And I figured out that it all comes back to me double or even triple. How awesome is that? And that's not the reason I do it. I just want it to be an ingrained habit. I want it to be like a tattoo on skin. Does that make sense?
Wow. That was a doozy.
22 Tuesday thoughts. A world record for me. And I learned much about myself.
And it was fun.
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