**cricket moments**

I was returning to work one afternoon from my writing class a few weeks ago, when, as I exited the elevator, I was greeted by a couple of coworkers.

"LadyLee, you need to go over to Dee's desk," Coworker "T" said.
"For what?" I asked. "I already turned my timesheet in."
"Don't worry about that. Just come on."

Dee is the secretary for our particular department at work. She LOVES to yell "Dr. LadyLee, girl, you better get your timesheet in, or you not gonna get paid!" So, naturally, I was thinking about my timesheet. . . and my money.

This causes to me to bristle to no end. Dee and ALL of management know that they better have my money straight.

"LadyLee, put your stuff down at your desk and get over to Dee's desk. We want you to see something."
"See what?"
"Just put your stuff down, and come on."

Now this happens to me from time to time. Some mess or something will go down, I will walk up the scene, and it'll be like "There go LadyLee. Come here LadyLee!"

I am just as curious as the next person, so I put my stuff down on my desk and walk with coworker "T" to D's office.

We walk around the corner of Dee's cubicle area and see this:

It's a stuffed cat. I shrug. "Man, why ya'll got me running around the corner to see a dang stuffed animal?"

Then Dee turns to the animal and starts talking to it and rubbing it.

"Hey, boo. You such a sweet kitty... yes you are."

And she makes all these cooing noises that you would make with a baby. The cat responds to her, raising it's eyebrows, meeowing, responding to her touch. I walk closer and touch it myself to make sure it's a fake cat.

Yes the cat is fake, but it is fully functional or something like that. We stand there and watch Dee play with the cat.

"She's gone crazy, girl," co-worker "T" murmurs.

I didn't say a word, just stared. It was VERY weird. Very.

But I didn't care about that. I snapped back to reality.

"Yo Dee! You sitting up here playing with this cat. You got my timesheet straight so can get my paycheck?"
"Yes, Dr. LadyLee. I already put your time in." She goes back to cooing the cat.

I march back to my desk, talking trash about how Dee has lost her freakin' mind, but my money better be right.

Dee can act as crazy as she wants. Long as my money straight? I DON'T CARE.

But Dee has been our secretary and CEO (coffee executive officer) for seven years now. "I been here for far too long, chile", she always says.

And she refuses to call me by my first name like everyone else. Simply REFUSES.

"You earned that "Dr." title, Dr. LadyLee. So that's what I'm going to call you."

There are 3 other black Docs on my job. If we are all together talking (always about something besides work or chemistry, lol), Dee will pull up a chair and sit in the midst of us. She'll sit there and smile, eyes wide, looking back and forth amongst the three of us. I almost expect her to leap from the seat, fall prostrate to the floor, and kiss my Nikes, Dr. Sunshine's sneakers, or Dr. "Hazel Eyes" high heel shoes.

"What's wrong with you, Dee?" I always ask.

"Look at ya'll. I'm in the midst of greatness. This here is something else. Three doctors. Just look at ya'll. With ya'll ol' smart selves. I'm so proud. Just look at ya'll. Three doctors. Blah, blah, blah."

We look at her like she is crazy. I even kick the hard eyeroll. Then we go back to whatever trivial matter we were talking about.

Dee is from that old school guard, and is in her mid-fifties. When older black folks find out what I do, and how much "schooling" I've had, they get ALLL excited, as they didn't have the education pportunities that I've had in the past 20 years.

So, let's just say. . . EVERY time Dee sees me, she says REAL loud and clear, something involving my title.

This, uh... makes for a problem, when I'm sneaking around or doing something I have no business doing. Plus, I like to hide from management, and have as little interaction as possible. Dee can be waaaaay on the other end of a hallway, and if she sees me, she's going to yell REAL loud:

"Hey! Dr. LadyLee!!"

Even if she has seen me a hundred times that day, she does the same thing...

One day, she said real low, "Yeah, I wonder what management think when I do that." She had a real slick smile on her face.

*crickets*

*LadyLee squints hard*

She has that same, uh, let's just say, mild annoyance that I have with management.

Hmm...

But this has taught me something. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves who we ARE. Now, I don't get wrapped up in my title. I rarely use it, except in professional situations (especially if folk acting all funny... you know what I mean. Everyonce in a while I have to do the verbal foot stomp, and the title scares folk, lol.)

But we need to take time to remind ourselves who we ARE.

Everyday, we get caught up with the negative of what people say about us.

My book club sista sends out a reminder every week for us to write down things we are grateful for. This gives us an opportunity to focus on the positive in our lives. And I AM grateful for THAT. I tend to write up a couple of pages in my journal each night before bed, and this has taught me to shift to getting caught up in the positive rather than the negative.

I do my best to be a kind person, to think of others. I am a hard worker, etc.

Some nights, even if I have to put down "I AM DR. LADYLEE.", I will do that.

We all have good postive things going on in our lives.

Take a little time today to think of all the positive.

Sure, you'll have a **cricket moment** when thinking about it, as we tend to focus on immediate problems at hand, but only for a moment.

But I bet you'll find something good in your life to focus on that will make your day just a little brighter.