And I have been just freestyle writing on my physical, mental, and spiritual states.
I know it is all a bit jumbled, but it all comes together in my head, lol.
When I think about spiritual matters, though, that's a little complex.
As I said in the last post, I will pray about things then I will look out for paths to the solution to open up.
That is the way things work out for me spiritually.
However, here is what's really going on:
I have to muster up the faith and courage to follow that path.
And I think about this when I am out walking, or whenever I am silent.
Something interesting happen the other day. I woke up one morning and I heard in my spirit that I have a tendency to feel like I am a bother not only to people, but to God Himself. And He let me know I am never a bother. He is always here to listen. He understands what I can't even articulate. He answers questions I do not know how to ask.
Lately in the ATL, this past week or so, it has a bit warm out. So warm that I don't need a jacket. In the middle of December, I can go for a walk in shorts and a t-shirt. In the middle of winter, no less!
I remember one afternoon, I was a bit upset with myself because when I come in the house all parched and sweaty wanting a COLD bottle of water. I just know that in the summer, nothing felt better than coming in the house and guzzling a cold bottle of water.
Not so much in the winter, though. I just wanted some lukewarm water. Good enough.
Except for when it is hot outside in the winter.
My best friend LadyTee bought me some nice 18 ounce glass bottles with tops earlier this year that I would place in the fridge every day. There were four of them, and I knew if I drank them all that day, I had approached my water requirements for the day.
I should've kept doing it, but I didn't.
So earlier this week, when I was out walking at a time I don't usually walk right now (in the morning because it was so cold), I walked up a slightly challenging hill I walk up occasionally... I was a bit emotional, a bit down because it was so gloomy and cloudy out. I had been thinking about all kinds of thing, even did a little praying, even got a little teary-eyed too.
I walked up a hill that takes me some three minutes to climb.
Halfway up my hard Sophia-like walk up the hill, an old man came out of his house. His house was close to the street, as he barely has a front yard.
And he had a cold bottle of water in his hand.
He ambled out and said, "Young lady, I want to give you a cold bottle of water."
I don't usually take nothing from strangers, but he was an old man... reminded me of my old relatives. I took it from his outstretched hand and said thank you.
"The Spirt told me to give it to you," he said.
"What's that?"
"The Spirit told me to give it to you," he said again with a smile.
"Thank you so much," I said.
He went back into the house.
When I tell you I was in shock, and had to blink back tears?
Ugh.
I made it up the street and around the corner and cried a little. If I could have laid out in the grass and had a good cry, I would have.
But I continued to walk, clutching my ice cold bottle of water tightly in my hand.
And I heard in my spirit, I am listening to you, even when you aren't praying. I am keenly aware of what you need. I am always listening and preparing a way for you. I am with you. It is okay.
And it made my day. In the midst of a gloomy day, I kept walking with my cold bottle of water.
I placed it in my car when I passed by it. (I was parked at the neighborhood track and field).
And about half an hour later, I finished my walk. I got in my car, wiped down my bottle of water (because we still in a pandemic). . .
. . . and enjoyed my cold bottle of spring water.
I kept the empty bottle of water. It meant so much to me on a spiritual level.
And I have recorded in this post.
Just so I can come back even after the year 2021 has gone by... and remember.
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