Muggy Monday Morning

It's Monday.

And I'm laying here in bed staring out the window.

It's MUGGY and icky looking outside. Yuck. A day to lay in bed.

I feel this way every Monday. But alas, I have a load of stuff to do at work today. I have some assignments due tomorrow. Gotta finish that stuff up.

This reminds me to schedule a Monday off in the future.

My weekend. It was what it was. I ran around doing a little grocery shopping and running other errands.

On Friday, I got my laptop back! *Lee jumps for joy*. I was standing there looking at the guy ring up my deeply warranted laptop, hoping there wouldn't be a charge. (If there was, I'd be blogging from the county jail right now, lol). Of course, there was no charge. (Thank goodness for Geek Squad, cuz I would've hated to have to turn the place out).

New motherboard. New keyboard. After only 10 months? Wow. Thank goodness for that 300 dollar warranty!

I actually decided to visit my favorite little open air market. It was an interesting trip. I found that I need to wait a couple more weeks for them to have a few more things that I want. AND I need to get out there at 7:30 in the morning. White folk know they wake up early and line up early. GEEZ! Gotta get off my CP schedule and get on theirs, lol.

After the farmer's market, I went to the white people's post office. In the GOOD neighborhood. Worst mistake in the world. Man, I was in line for 45 minutes. There were only 8 people ahead of me. Uh, I was HOT. And the white folk were HOT. (They're just a little calmer with their dismay. There was no real threat of a fight breaking out, as it is at the black post office).

Sunday, I went to church. I don't usually go to church on Sunday. I like Fridays. But lately, I don't leave work until around 7:30 pm on Friday evenings, so I have to change up. So Sunday it is.

We are FINALLY finishing up this series on attitude and honor. My goodness, I think we've been digging around in that subject matter since early April. This is cool, because I am in the process of correcting attitudinal problems. We've been dancing around the subject of your attitude when it comes to your affection for God.

The most interesting quotes I have in my notes:

Desire is a result of what you give your attention to. You have to attend to a thing in order for you to desire it.

Genuine authentic motives creates long lasting, loving relationships.

Not sure why that last quote struck me so. I suppose because, to me, EVERYTHING is about motive. Motive is the root, man. Motive is a snaphshot of my heart.

I'll be the first to tell you that I have bad motives in certain areas of my life. And I work on those, continuously, trying to admit, acknowledge and examine.

An example was used of, if someone says they love you, your first question is... Why?

(Well, that's my first question anyway.)

An example was used (which completely upset every woman in the place), of a man saying that he loves you, making all these compliments, doing all these wonderful things, making you feel like you are the best woman, the woman of his dreams...

And when he gets that tail, what he really wanted from you in the first place... he's gone.

So the question became: Do we treat God the same way? Praying to Him, doing all the seemingly right things, just so we can get something out of him.

And once we get what we want, are we ghost?

Interesting. It made me examine myself. Looking back over the past 10 years or so, I am glad to be able to say that I am not like this, but I have A LOT of growing up to do. Much. I am still learning and growing in my spiritual walk. And that, just like everything else in life, ebbs and flows. And it is a lifelong process.

My heart is good. My motives are right. (Well, that's what i hope. Adding that to my vision statement somewhere, 'cuz it's something to strive for and speak over myself).

And that's the core of the thing.

I can say that when I remove what people think of me and any search for significance or approval in people's eyes.

Okay! Didn't mean to turn this into a mini food for thought. It's just where my mental is right now. It's just whatever I'm dealing with and trying to correct, well... things creep up to support that.

Like these series of sermons.

Like that doggone Financial Freedom book.

Like the workbook, Lord Teach Me how to Pray, that me and Serenity have been stomping through for the past month, and are finishing up today.

Like many convos I've had recently.

Another quote from my notes:

Giving to God without a heart-seeded affection toward Him, will result in a lifetime of frustration. So whatever you do, do it out of your love for God and that alone. Nothing is fruitful unless it's born out of an affection for God.

Giving means in ALL areas: prayer time, monetary, service, church attendance, worship... EVERYTHING.

I challenge you this beautiful spring week, to check your heart... and your motives.

On purpose.

And see what's really going on.

(That's what this Oldgirl will be doing).

Feel free to take an Obama church fan on your way out the door.

Ya'll have a good week... on purpose.