Twist out! Bantu knots!

Okay Serenity, here you go. Your soror, The Green Eyed Bandit's natural hair pics.

This is the first and last time you'll see this over here. Keep all this ish over on YOUR Blog.

Uh. Enjoy. Don't know if these are twists or bantu knots. Hmm...














Bandit, you said you had black peoples hair. Now I believe you!

Monday Monday

Monday, Monday...

Nothing much going on around these parts, and I don't have much to say.

Just showing my face, as us older folks like to say, lol...

They say that it's gonna be 'round 100 degrees today in the ATL.

I just came back off my hour long morning walk, where I enjoyed the cool breezes and a nice sunrise...

... and promptly took my tail BACK into the house once said sun had risen.

The weekend went by VERY swiftly. I am not happy about that. And I didn't use my time wisely. Did I get some things done? Yes. Plenty chores. Some crocheting. A little writing. The usual.

Last Thursday, we had what I like to call a FREE day off at work. That's a day where something stupid happens, like the AC goes out in the building, or the water messes up. You should've seen folk getting out of there. It was like a bunch of cattle broke out the gate or something. I'd just gotten to work. Went in to "show my face" and to pick up some paperwork (Not work related paperwork, but a couple of chapters of my writing that I'd been editing. But who needs to know that, lol.)

My cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre just bought a new house, some sheer gorgeousness. I hung out with her for a few hours. She showed me how to hang blinds, so that's my next project.

Now THAT was the highlight of my weekend. And it wasn't even the weekend yet. But I thought I'd mention it. I am proud of her. And there was much whispering about budgets and money in our cubicle space over the past few months.

I love love LOVE to see people accomplish their goals. It jacks up my faith to work harder on my own.

I hit up a cookout this weekend AGAIN at the Green Eyed Bandits' house. Mama and Auntie Bandit were in town, along with a gang of kids. So that was fun. Look out for a post on that this week. Gotta load up photos!

Thought of the Week. Heard something interesting yesterday... a great definition of faithfulness.

Faithfulness is following through on your commitments regardless of the difficulty.

Regardless of difficulty. Meaning difficulty don't matter.

Easy is as easy does. Difficulty builds something in you, whether that be character, faith, perserverance, sincerity, honesty... something.

Putting hand to the plow, and keeping it there.

Holding that mule, no matter how hard it gets.

I GOTTA Keep that in mind, keep that in mind, keep that in mind.

That's all I have to say today. It's Monday, I know, and everybody hates Mondays.

But this morning, I experienced the breeze on my face...

I experienced yet another beautiful sunrise.

And that right there... that right there... makes this a beautiful wonderful day.

Do me a favor: find something wonderfully good about this day.

And take a moment to be thankful for it.

Start the week off right... on purpose.

Friday Fiction: "Lens. Knife. Crazy."

She didn't know what she would do once she got there.

But the walk to this other woman's house was a short one, only 3 blocks north of her own.

All she knew was that she was tired of that bitch calling her house.

She'd screamed into the phone more times than she could count:

"Get into your head! Tyrone, he my man now!"

But it wasn't enough to keep the phone from ringing all times of the day or night.

So...

She got up.

Tied her headrag on her head.

And put on those sunglasses.

Those sunglasses...

The ones missing a lens.

And she wore them on purpose.

Because anyone wearing a pair of sunglasses with a missing lens had to be touched in the head.

(Just a little... touched).

She walked down her porch stairs, barefoot. The ground was hot from the summer sun beating down on it all day.

She paused at the corner, as the light for crossing had turned red. A glint of metal caught her eye. She looked down, and saw a broken rusted knife wrapped in shoelaces.

She smiled.

Headrag crooked atop her head.

Sunglasses missing a lens.

Busted knife hanging from a shoestring.

Crazy is as Crazy does.

Crazy is as Crazy looks.

After seeing her like this, that woman will think twice about calling for Tyrone.

Afterall, that would be a crazy thing to do.

From Women of Color Writing Workshop: 7 minute exercise: Draw a notecard from a stack and Use the words/phrases written on it in a story: My card contained shoelaces, broken knife, sunglasses with one lens, and remote control. I messed this one up, as I didn't work in the remote control. Sigh. But it was interesting. Strange, but interesting.

Enjoy your weekend. And don't do nothing... crazy.

Remembering MJ

Personal Vegetarian Goals

I was taking a look back at one of last year's personal journals and I came across a list of my vegetarian goals.

The Journal entry was dated June 15, 2009, so yes, it's been a year, and I think it's a good idea to post them and my thoughts on them, because I'm working on coming up with new goals. I may or may not post them. But there will be goals, and they will be written down somewhere.

So, here are the personal goals I created:

1. Go Vegetarian for the Summer - I know I wanted to transition to vegetarian for life, but that first goal was to make it through the summer. If I couldn't make it through the summer, then what was the point.

So I was successuful in that goal. After that, the goal was to make it through the rest of the year. And I did that.

2. Obtain a subscription to a Vegetarian Magazine. Not a problem. Of course I didn't know how to start.

Not to jump off subject, but this goal reminded me of the nature of my friendships. It messes my head UP when I hear of people drifting apart due to someone making changes to better themselves. Oh it just hurts my heart. I don't see much of that in my life. I told a friend what I was trying to do, and even though they had no intention of doing it too (and NO! I am NOT the type to drag people into my ventures. No way, no how), she immediately made a phone call to one of her veg friends on her own and they told me what magazine I needed to take a look at. (That's how friends should be. I'm the same way with mine. I will cheerlead your tail all the way if you got goals, man. It ain't my goal, but I'm just happy you trying to do something special, and I wanna be in on it!)

So I began reading Vegetarian Times. OH HOW I LOVE THIS MAGAZINE.

It is a great magazine, very nice for beginners like myself. Every issue is chock full of good recipes, and nice articles on different fruits and vegetables and products. I get many ideas from it, and it gives me hope. LOVED-ED it.

I read the magazine for about four months, and I got a subscription. I love opening my mailbox and seeing it there! Look forward to it each and every month!

3. Purchase one vegetarian cookbook. I did that. The one book that was recommended by the friend's above friend was The Passionate Vegetarian.

I'm not a big fan of this cookbook. Oh, don't get me wrong. It's nice, and good for someone just starting out. BUT, I'm strange. I like cookbooks with big beautiful pictures of food. This isn't that type of cookbook. Not one picture in the book. Sigh.

But it is the size of a telephone book. And I LOVE how there are HUGE history and nutritional discussions on each and every fruit, vegetable, nut and grain. That's what I will remember about this cookbook. So I learned much information.

I can't say that I've used it much. Although there is a ginger lemon sorbet that I've made in my ice cream maker that is DIVINE. That is the best sorbet in the world. I think I had a sore throat one day, and it completely knocked it down. I was happy for that. And I have gotten many ideas from it. Knowing what I know now, and the plethora of new fruits, grains, and vegetables I've tried over the past year, I can go back to this cookbook and start working on some of the recipes!

4. Cook 3 new vegetarian dishes. That's a bit vague. I think the context of which I wrote that was probably to cook three new vegetarian dishes for the summer. I accomplished that goal. No, I don't remember what I cooked.

I think right now, I cook 2 or 3 new dishes a month. I try just as many new items a month. So that's good.

I read somewhere that I should eat something new every DAY. Yes there are enough items out there to achieve that (I have a pepino melon in the fridge right now. It is the size of a small mango. And I cooked purple cabbage last week.)

But for now I think I'll stick to making sure I stay on track with that goal above.

5. One day every two weeks (biweekly), go completely raw. Nope, I haven't done that. Should be easy enough, but it is something I would have to plan. Raw diets are like, the height of veganism. And I wasn't attentive enough to do that.

Here's what people that only eat raw food believe (and it appears to be true): when you cook food, you destroy many of the natural enzymes. Yes, this does occur with heat, so they get over into a way of cooking where nothing is heated over 110 degrees, I believe.

Interesting. And there are classes in "raw cooking". One of Green Eyed Bandit's homegirls took a class in the ATL somewhere. And uh, yeah, Bandit, you need to hook us up in a 3 way phone call so I can talk to her. I would LOVE to take that class.

There's a raw food section in the cold area of the Vegan co-op where I shop. Some company in the ATL specializes in it, and they make up little TV dinners and desserts, etc. Real interesting. They have dishes like vegan salmon croquettes and pad thai. BUT that ish is expensive. Averages around nine dollars or so per entree. And no, not family portions, but basically enough to fill a small saucer. I've never had those.

Now I did buy a piece of apple pie. The portion size is the size of a small brownie. That was six dollars. Uh, let's just say I made that apple pie last a couple of weeks. It was GREAT, and I'd love to know how to prepare it, BUT I think taking a class would be more helpful. Organic food is terribly expensive as it is, but prepared raw food takes the expense to some other level.

Not for me. But I could easily have a day where I eat salads with a dash of lemon juice. And fruits. That's not a problem and I may revisit the idea.

6. Read a book on Vegan or Vegetarian living per season. Yep, that was easy enough. It started out with one of the Dummies books, Vegans for Dummies. I've read a few other books since then. I like to read, so this is simple enough.

This is how I feel about books: I'm not trying to soak up everything. Just those one or two things for me. Certain things stick with me. Like from one book, I learned much about water. From another, I understand much about the nature of raw food and enzymes. And with me being a chemist, I love and remember anything that gets down to the chemical nature of food (Afterall, I am a food chemist and a closet phytochemist, lol). For this reason, I changed the type of mushrooms I eat, etc.

Books can get a little strange. Information abounds, but it can get politcal real fast. There are a lot of soap-box vegetarians, who seem to look down on anyone who even thinks about eating a piece of meat. And that comes through in the books. Much is said for shock value. Sorry, but just because you are where you are in life, that doesn't mean it's easy for everyone else, and you have the right to look down your nose at people. This happens all the time, and I hate it. I am nothing like that. We all have our paths in life, and my goal is to walk my path, and support you in your life path. PERIOD.

This is why certain things are missing from my goals list. This is probably the reason I've not reached out to a vegetarian support group. I don't look like the everyday vegetarian. I'm not picking up a picket up a picket sign to protest animal cruelty. I am not picking up the "Protect the environment" mantra. I hate to admit it, but those things are not on my life's board right now.

I want to learn to eat healthier, as it may help with my lupus problems. THAT is the ultimate goal. And like I said before, I've kilt off 90% of my symptoms.

I want to LEARN.

I like books with that in mind. That is hard to find. But I do learn from all books. Not a problem.

Sometimes you have to pick through the chaff to get to the wheat. And that's cool. As long as you get busy picking!

Okay! So I ended with a little food for thought. Heck, there's a bit of food for thought scattered throughout the post. I want to write whole posts on such, and I think I still will.

So those were my goals starting out. I look at them now, and they seem a bit vague, as they should be for me who is starting out from the ground, and alone.

I pat myself on the back. I am proud of the progress I've made in the past 12 months. To be eating healthier, and to have reduced my meat intake by some 95% makes me happy. My confidence is high, and I will continue to learn.

So, I will think on this, and use them to come up with future goals.

A Cookout... Bandit Style

The Green-Eyed Bandit, Extra special president of my beloved Financial Freedom Fighter crew, mentioned to me last week that she was thinking about having a cookout for her birthday.

And she didn't mention it after that. Leaving me to assume that she wasn't having one.

BUT on Sunday morning, I get a Facebook message, talking about "You coming?"

Uh... I guess. LOL

So, me and another bookclub sister, NetRock, headed out from our downtown hood to the deep southside to Henry County. I can't STAND driving waaaay out there. It's like going out of town!

Move closer to the city, Green Eyed Bandit. Please!!!

LOL

So we get there, and nothings ready.

Now Netrock had gotten in my car some thirty minutes prior hollering that she was ready to EAT... while her husband Joe stood at the door of her house and looked out longingly at us... (lol, that was funny! Netrock left him.)

I waved at Joe. Wanted to yell "Come on, Joe!!! Come with us, boy!"

*Joe running for the car. Lee putting the pedal to the medal and screeching away*

HA! HA!

So it was SO sad that we hit the house and the food wasn't ready.

I realize that we're not dealing with Mama Bandit, who has everything on the table and ready to go at the appointed time (check this New years post here. Mama Bandit even deep fried the ribs that day).

But we were dealing with Mama Bandit's spawn, and her ol' CP time self.

I knew we were in trouble when I walked into the kitchen and Bandit was standing at the kitchen sink getting the chicken and burgers cleaned and ready, and she said "Lee, you know how to start a fire?"

HUNH!?

It almost came out "N****, I came to eat, not to cook!!!"

Don't worry, I was nice. I kept it inside.

(Besides Bandit is CRAZY. Not sure she would be down to kick my tail on her birthday, but i wouldn't put it past her).

So I threw some charcoal in the grill.

I was hoping that was enough. I haven't grilled out in a good couple of years. (Man, I am NOT throwing vegetables on the grill. That don't even make no sense to me.)

Then I poured my lighter fluid on the coals and lit the fire.

Then I took my behind back in the house because Bandit don't have a lick of shade in the backyard. The nearest trees are 20 feet away at the retainer wall, and they're only 6 feet tall.


Yeah. I watched the fire from the kitchen. Once it died down, I headed back to the dining room and watched as Bandit and Aunt Ray-Ray draped the dining room table with a plastic table cloth.

The table was empty. Sigh.

But it was soon full!

Aunt Ray-Ray makes the BOMB sherbert punch - made with Hawaiian Punch, raspberry sherbert, orange sherbert and sprite.

It was sho nuff GOOD.

I was eyeing these Ruffles.

I looked around for french onion dip. There was none. Sigh.I was killing the Sun Chips and salsa.

Don't know much about that combo, but whatever. Green Eyed Bandit is from Cleveland. They must rock it like that up that way.

I'd been in and out of the kitchen many a time, eyeing this beautiful watermelon.

I'd decided that, for some reason, it wasn't going to be cut, or wasn't for us, and I'd have to come up with a way to steal that sucker.

I decided against that. Bandit is a little crazy, and I didn't want to wake up to my yard set afire... all over a freakin' stolen watermelon.

Hmm... I decided to step outside and check on the grill.

Turkey burgers and hamburgers on the grill

Chicken breast on the grill.



By the time that came off the grill, we had all been laying around with the 'itis.

Chicken and sausage!

Burgers and hot dogs and sausages!!



Green Eyed-Bandit, how much sausage were ya'll trying to cook??

When did ya'll put that out on the grill!? Goodness!

My favorite part of the food was the fruit, ya'll...

And they finally cut up the watermelon!


*Lee's eyes glazing over*

Most people leave a cookout with a plate of food covered with aluminum foil.

Your friendly neighborhood Oldgirl rolls out with a mixing bowl full of FRUIT.

Have Mercy!!! That almost makes me wanna get out my Obama Church Fan!

Bandit!

I had a fine time!

Sorry I didn't get you a gift.

But we cool like that. You didn't care. You don't hold it against me.

But as I get older, I'm finding that the best gift from friends is fellowship and a smile.

*Lee cheesing hard like Celie while killing her mixing bowl of fresh fruit*

Thanks for letting me be a part of your birthday celebration. I wasn't in the best of moods that weekend, and it lifted me up...

She's one of those friends who has seen my bad side and my jankiness... and still sticks around. That is VERY rare for people to deal with me so unconditionally.

*insert lip quiver and fat tear drop*

Thanks for that, you Ol' High Yella Green-Eyed Shorty.

You alright with me, Oldgirl!

And uh, Yeah, uh... you need to have a cookout every weekend, gal!

LOL!

Chicken and Rice

"Have you decided yet?" the officer asked.

I sat up straight on the hard bed. "Yes, I have."

The officer pulled out a stick of chewing gum. He removed the foil wrap from it and balled it up and threw it to the floor of my cell. "Well, what do you want for your last meal?"

"I'd like two chicken wings and a side of brown rice."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Would you like anything else to go with that? A cold beer? A shot of Henessey? Some water?"

"No, just that. Chicken and rice. On a saucer."

The officer turned and left the cell, closing the cell door behind him. He ran his nightstick over the bars, as was his usual manner.

The sound irritated me, grated my nerves. He just wanted to let me know he was the one in control, a cop, and had the upper hand. .

I would've liked to have heard that sound the night my dear Mary was killed. A cop would've been much appreciated that night.

Mary had been out all night, gambling our money away, and I'd just got in from my night job, still smelling of factory dirt and grime.

We'd had an argument the week before, where I told her that no matter what she did, she'd better have my breakfast on the table when I'd come in from working all night.

And that she did. Never a fresh breakfrast, but always something left from last night's dinner.

That morning, breakfast was two fried chicken wings and rice.

And just as I sat down at the table, just as I lifted my fork to my mouth, the men in dark suits burst through the door, wanting the money Mary owed. Word was out that Mary had a big night and won big. Sweet Daddy wanted his money and he wanted it now.

I pulled my gun. They pulled theirs. Mary stood there, in the midst of it all.

Shooting broke out.

I shot my poor Mary, trying to defend her, trying to defend my woman. I killed her with a bullet from my own gun.

Now it was time to die.

But not before I ate my last meal, those two chicken wings and brown rice.

I would eat, and think of Mary.

And then I would die for Mary.

The woman I loved.

From Women of Color Writing Workshop, June 4, 2010. 10 minute writing prompt: "A death row inmate's last meal."

Happy HOT Monday Merning!

MAN!!

It's been hot as hell outside!

And today... I said TODAY marks the first day of summer!

LAWD help us ALLL!!

The weatherman said the high today in the ATL would be 95 degrees!!!

And with the humidity, it'll feel more like 105 degrees!!

*Lee passes out on the hard HOt concrete*

lol

My weekeed. Shoot... I had to work. But I REFUSE to work 8 hours on a Saturday. Something is WRONG with that. So my goal was to split that up, and work 4 hours on Saturday and 4 hours on Sunday.

Now, my specialist "Wang" said he wasn't coming in on Saturday. He was going to go golfing instead. But, lo and behold, I looked up on Saturday, and there he was, standing in the lab looking at me. And he looked like he'd left the golf course in mid-swing to come see what I was doing.

(My goodness, he had on shorts and he has GORGEOUS legs. I didn't want to say anything. I don't need a sexual harrasment charge from a 50 something year old Asian man. THE HORROR!)

This was not good, because we ended up with some complications on some stuff I was working with, and he's the type to be like, "Let's stick around to see what the problem be!"

UGH. So I ended up working five and a half hours. Not a good look, because my brain turned off after 4 hours, lol.

Then I came home and saw the BP Oil Chairman out yachting.

I immediately decided, "I ain't going to work on Sunday! If Shorty can go yachting, then I don't have to go to work!"

And I didn't. And the boss is gonna be acting shady today. This is okay.

She can go sit on a tack.

(I ain't worried about her reading that. I tell her often how much I think management is a little "slow").

So... on Sunday, I went to a cookout!

No, it don't quite have the flair and it's not as debonair as yachting!

But, hey, it was an event equal to it, as far as I'm concerned!

The Green Eyed Bandit, one for my favorite lurkers, held a cookout for her birthday.

I'm not writing about it today, as I wish to try to be on time for work today (for a change).

But it was great fun!

And I walked out of the house without proper planning, i.e., I knew there was gonna be a gang of meat, and I didn't bring myself a black bean burger patty or something like that, lol...

But Bandit hooked it up... like only a Bandit could! I was salivating over this:



And this!



*Lee's eyes glazing over*

LOL

I will write about that tomorrow!

I have internet at home now, so you can expect blog posts from me each and every day for the rest of my life! Glory!!

I am so behind.

But, I'm keeping it short today! (Stop rolling your eyes, Chele!)

No food-for-thought for the week...

Oh yeah, yes there is.

Let's learn a lesson from the BP oil man:

When you're in the midst of crises, always make sure to take a little time to enjoy yourself.

Always.

Take that however you want to take it.

Have a good week!

On purpose, mayne!!

Freestyle Fridays

Alright... I'm back.

Ain't had internet for a whole week. I have it on my bootleg phone, but not anything where I could blog. Couldn't load up pictures or nothing! UGH. Not sure I'm worried about mindless surfing, twitter, facebook, etc... But I've really wanted to blog, and I don't have time to do that at work.

(And negroes looking dead at me SWEAR I blog all day. Nothing worst than folk hating on you for having something you like to do).

So, I've been living alone for an entire week. I think I was a bit weepy that first day, but I'm okay now, lol. Things are ULTRA quiet around here. Kentucky usually stayed to herself up in her room, and I downstairs, but you can tell there's a difference. So, I'm adjusting to my new life.
I've quietly been working on a couple of goals lately. One is to type 500 words a night, which is easy for me. Just a matter of doing it. I've been doing that since May 29th, I believe (no, I don't have an official start date, as it wasn't any big wonderful mission or anything.) I've been getting a TON of writing done. 500 words adds up QUICK. I'm moving along on a story I've been working on all year. It seems to be coming along.

One of the security guards at work is reading it. Dude be looking at the security cameras, and probably hollers "Lee's exiting the building!!!" He commences to run like crazy to catch me before I get to my car so he can yack about the story.

That's what I like about writing: someone who gets excited about what I write. They treat it as real. I LOVE that. That's the purity of writing that I seek.

Also, I've been walking daily. I love to walk, but haven't made as much time for it as I like. My doctor asks me about it.

"Doc, I feel great when I walk 2 or 3 miles a day. My joints feel pretty good!"
"Well, why don't you do it more often, LadyLee?"
*Lee gives Doc the gas face*

I've always been haphazard with my walking. Right now, I'm more consistent. I walk at my local YMCA, and I walk at my local olympic track if I get out there early enough. It's funny because the senior citizens be stomping it out like Miss Sophia, lapping my tail. But I walk at my own pace, which seems to be 2.5 miles an hour. Good enough.

I know in the past, I've always walked at least a mile a day. It REALLY works out any inflammation issues I may be having. I don't have that problem as much these days, but it helps much to walk, and I need the exercise. No, I can't do all this running like everyone seems to be doing, due to my osteoarthritic issues, but I can walk like noooo other, lol.

Work has been some craziness. I'm NOT feeling this oi.l sp.ill work. I've been whining like the next person. But I had to pray about it. I looked back over my career at my current job, and I see that it is rare for people in general to work on world problems or national crises, and I've worked on several that you see in the news. I am so thankful for that, because I would've never dreamed of doing such when I was making my way through school. So that's where I focus when I get out of hand. It brings personal peace.

But that's it for me. That's my world for the week. It feels a bit solitary, but I'm a solitary Oldgirl. I think I may have a barbeque to hit up on Sunday. I MAY have to work on Saturday. Not sure. I've had more meetings this week at work than I care to have. I have one more this morning. I hope it's productive. My goal now is to learn one new thing in each meeting, and focus on that. Works out well!

I want to leave you with a little Food-for-thought. I've been wanting to write a post on this, but haven't quite figured out how to. I think putting up the phrase will do much for all, and will mean something different to everyone.

Clear all the cobwebs... but DON'T forget to kill the spider!

Did ya get that one? Interested in knowing what it means to you.

Just a little food for thought for your weekend.

And on that note, you be sure to have a great weekend.

ON PURPOSE.

I probably won’t be blogging much, due to not having internet at home.

I've been slack about setting up some internet. That'll be cleared up by Saturday.

I was bootlegging off my baby sister’s wireless modem.

And last Friday, my baby sister moved to her own place.

So hence, no internet… and no sister!

*Lee falls out crying on the floor*

No, I ain’t crying. But it’s sad not to hear her bouncing down the steps, sharing with me yet another story of some of the crazy things her students have done. I also loved hearing her grad school woes. (But I am sure she got tired of me hollering “Jumping hoops! That’s all it is!”)

Kentucky lived with me for six years, I believe. Not sure. I just wanted her to save up her money, figure out what she had to do. My sister has always been a sincere good person, someone who one doesn’t mind helping out.

But I’ve gotten in trouble for this. People like to put their 2 cents in. “You should charge her rent, blah, blah, blah.”

But why?

“To learn responsibility.”

But, uh, she’s already responsible. Now what?


No one can answer that question.

One thing I learned from attending grad school at an Ivy League college: these white folks help their kids out. I was astonished at that. They made sure they had cars, made sure they had all they needed to get through.

That is something we are missing in our communities sometimes. Why? Because we have ALL been done in by peeps trying to get over on us. Just about everybody I know has had someone stay with them, etc., and they got used up.

I remember, some 10 years ago, sitting at the dining room table of my friend and cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre’s parents house, having dinner. I was telling them when I lived at home, whatever paycheck I got, I always gave my Mama some money.

Cowgirl’s Cre looked at me all perplexed. **Crickets** abound.

“LadyLee, you have to explain to them what that means. They don’t understand.”

Now for me, my Mama said she didn’t want any money. It's my money, save it, do what I have to do. But MAN, she knew how to whine and complain. I made that decision on my own to give her something, just so I didn’t have to hear the whining and complaining about being “broke”. It was like Chinese water torture! So that was why.

But I explained to Cre’s parents that this was common practice. You paid if you had a paycheck coming in. I noticed this among other folks I knew. (Never amongst my white friends, though).

That bothered me that day, as Cre’s parents still didn’t understand why one would take money from their child, their child who wasn’t a problem, but was sincerely trying to do well and get themselves together.

I have no children. But, I promised myself if my brother or sister ever needed help, I would help them. Long as they were setting their personal goals and achieving them, and being sincere, then I would help them. For me, that don’t mean putting out all this money. I simply don’t have that. But I’ve had to sleep on friends sofas, being what I have called “voluntarily homeless” from time to time. I didn't want them to go through that.

Me and Kentucky have always had a decent understanding about these things. She can be trusted. She has always shown me that. I sent her a hundred bucks a month in college and actually gave her a JCPenny’s card, just in case she needed a quick panty or bra. I told her too, I knew that Penney’s wasn’t her style, but if she needed clothes or something special, to go in there and look FIRST. If she could find something that she liked then that was good for her. This meant no money out of her pocket.

And she was never abusive about that. Always called when she spent on the card, and had some reason why she chose to use it. (Not sure what that was about, but if she felt the need to explain, then whatever.)

So I trusted her. I told her, hey, you can stay with me, and you do you. Now if you mess it up, that’s on you. I’m sowing a seed, and I’ll reap from it. From this rose one of my mantras:

There is NO such thing as getting over.

So it has been such a treat to watch her do her thing. I remember the day she came in and told me she’d paid off all her credit card debt. I remember her excitement over each new job she got, and the moments when she realized it was time to leave. (My answer was always “Have you prayed about it?") I remember her considering a career change, and getting accepted into a masters program for it AND finishing. I remember going to open house at the school where she taught second grade… and shedding tears as I walked through the front door of the school.

It has all been a blessing for me. I’m not sure where I relationship stands. I will always be the big sister, the black sheep of the family. She lives over near our mother, and I support their relationship, but I tend to stay out of the way (I don’t care for all the unnecessary drama and competitiveness *crickets*). Our family is small, and rarely gets together, not even for Christmas or holidays, so, not sure how often we will see each other.

But I know that I miss her. We are both quiet people, and now, the house is ultra quiet.

Oscar-Tyrone keeps going up and down the stairs, looking for her. I'll let that Oldcat deal with his confusion in his own way.

I walked around the empty rooms of upstairs this evening. It looks like a whole different place up there. I plan on a small office in one bedroom for my writing, a spare bedroom in the other. There’s painting to be done, and little repairs, since the house has settled some.

All of these considerations are overshadowed by the fact that miss her.

I told her last week, “Well, I hope I was helpful in some way. I don’t have much. My house ain’t the best. It's not the most luxurious. But I wanted to help.”

“You did, Lisa,” she said. “I was able to do a lot.”

I turned away, went and did something else. Didn’t want her to see me blinking back the tears.

I miss her much.

And missing her is trumped by the fact that I am proud of her.

I am soooo very proud of my sister.

You go Kentucky!!

Enjoy your new place! I hope it’s all you hope it to be :)

Friday Fiction: "Consciousness"

"Consciousness"

I watch him as he stands there in the breakroom, stirring sugar and cream into his morning coffee.

I smile and nod politely as he turns his head, smiles and says,

"Good Morning."

I look at him and remind myself that

"I am conscious."

Yes, I am fully awake, standing here, feet very still in my high heels.

Heels in contact with the breakroom floor.

"I am conscious."

For this man, this man who stands here in the breakroom, carefully stirring sugar and cream into his morning coffee, also stands in the very center of my secrets and dreams.

He doesn't know that he makes sweet satisfying love to me every night, and he's faithfullly there to pull me from my bliss and unconsciuos state at dawn.

At that time, I must remind myself:

"He's not really here, and I am conscious."

He becomes a vapor, as thin as the air I breathe, evaporating and reappearing here, right here, everyday in the breakroom,

Meticulously stirring sugar and cream into his morning coffee.

"Do you want some?" he always asks, as he holds the coffee pot up, swirls the dark liquid around. "Do you want some of this?"

I look into his gorgeous brown eyes, I take a deep breath, and I say

"No. No thank you."

He smiles, lifts the cup to his lips, and takes a sip.

I smile too, wishing that I was that cup.

Wishing right then that I was... unconscious.

From June 5, 2010 Women of Color Writing Workshop. Writing Prompt: Write using a phrase pulled from a basket. The phrase I pulled was "Consciousness"

Spring!!!!

Spring!!!!

*Lee looks skyward and feels the warm sun upon her face*

I love spring!!

Yeah right.

I don't want to talk about the spring season.

Looks as if I've developed a strange problem during this time of vegetarianism. Some may call it a habit. A good one, but potentially costly.

I only drink and cook with spring water. And I only eat ice made from spring water.

LOL

Is it really a bad habit?

Probably not. The water is cleaner, but honestly, I try to drink upwards to a gallon a day, and it's easier for me to do it if I like the water.

Let's just say, I can taste every single impurity, etc., in water from the faucet. Some cheap waters even taste funny to me.

Hence... Spring!!!!!!

I seem to like water that's a bit expensive.

I love Poland Spring water the best.

I never buy individual bottles since I drink so much. I only buy gallon bottles and those big 2.5 gallon containers. Those are $1.99 and $4.75 respectively.

Pricey. If I drink 6 to 7 gallons a week, uh... it gets pricey.

Then there's this water I read about in a book: Essentia water.



That's an interesting water. It's an akaline water, one with a higher pH than regular water, and it's suppose to be better for you.

But again, it's pricey. $2.99 for a 1.5 liter bottle. This water is an occasional thing. But I LOVE it. Due to it's akaline nature, it has a very smooth taste to it.

I gave some to one of my secretaries.

"Smooth, isn't it?" I asked. "Tastes good, don't it?"

"No," she said. "Tastes like regula water to me. I can't tell the difference."

*Lee snatches bottle of expensive water from secretary*

"Well, you just need to stick to the water from the water fountain!!" I yelled.

LOL (Don't worry, the secretaries know I'm "special").

Then, there's the elitist of water, something that my sister Kentucky turned me onto.

Metromint waters.



They are waters with just a hint of mint and other flavors. No sugar or artificial sweeteners are used. Just a very nice minty refreshing water. No calories, just an interesting aftertaste. I like it.

But they are $1.99 for 16 ounces.

Uh, not a good look.

Normally I wouldn't like these. But Kentucky asked if I wanted some one day. I asked the cost, and she told me. Now, this was during my financial fast. I gave her a uh, few choice words for an answer.

But she came home with a sack of a variety of these waters.

I watched as she tried one, a chocolate mint flavored one. Her nose scrunched up at the taste of it.

I gladly took it off her hands. A free bottle! I don't care how it tastes. It's free expensive stuff.

I took the chocolate mint water to work the next day, and had the nerve to run up in a meeting with it.

You would've thought that I had walked up in the place with a crackpipe hanging from my mouth. LOL

I thought it was very good. Would I buy it again? Nope. Too expensive.

So, what have I done with my expensive water habits? I did what I needed to do: I found a solution.

I would like to drink water stored in glass bottles as there are no leaching problems as seen with plastic jugs. (Trust me, plastic leaches. Brands of water come through the lab. They leach badly).
But I've settled on getting refills from Whole Foods. I have clear plastic square gallon jugs, and I can refill those for 40 cents a gallon.

I figured that out during my financial fast. There was NO way I should spend 30 bucks a month on water. I've reduced that way down to about a little over 10 bucks a month.

And that's good enough for me.

This works out well, since I don't drink sodas. I drink some organic juices, but I dilute them by 75%. So for me, it's water, dressed with cut lemons and limes. I recently found out that I can purchase peppermint oil and add a couple of drops to my water. It will give the same effect.

So, I, the Oldgirl, can keep looking to the sky, and feel the warm sun upon my face.

Spring!

Yes, Spring is where it is for me.

Spring is where it's at!

Semi-Wordless Wednesday: Ty's Baby Shower

You know, I love babies.

No, I don't want one. But I get all giddy, because I get to make a baby blanket! I make two or three a year! (This year, I'm making four!)

Here's the one I made for my book club sister Ty. She's expecting a baby boy in July.

I actually have 2 of these going right now, but my book club sister Kimmie-Kim's nephew showed up a month early. Little man will have one soon!

I love this ballon. Didn't know they could get that creative with balloons.

This is a nice cake. And it was GOOD!

Yes, Jaden is on his way!

The Mother-To-Be loved the blanket.

I'm glad of that. I'm not sure what her color scheme is, but hey, cover is cover, right?

LOL

Ty, I wish you a happy and safe delivery of your bouncing baby boy.

Learn

One thing I understand about going through this year of trying to figure out this whole vegetarian thing is this:

There was a lot more to it than I thought there would be.

There is so much to LEARN.

So, when I ran into vegetarians, I asked questions.

This was interesting, because people are on their own plans... on their own planets, really.

And that's cool. That let me know: there is no real plan. Just try.

First of all, it's RARE to run into a vegetarian, especially a black one. Maybe they are all around. But no one talks about it or walks around with a blazing sign over their head. I can understand this now, because the first thing someone says when you say you're on this path is:

"Girl, I couldn't do that. I couldn't go without meat."

Okay uh... that's encouraging. So, uh, I be sure to hush up. The topic will come up when I order a vegetable plate or something.

And I've gotten like others: I don't want to talk about it. I get discouraged every time. NOT a good thing.

But I ran into one person who told me a couple of things that have been at the backbone of my year, and at the forefront of my mind for some time: Nikki's brother, 'Swad.

He's been a vegetarian for ten years. She had mentioned this to me, so when he came into town to visit when she was sick, I was over there too.

And I talked his ear off.

He told me two things that have really stuck. I didn't understand then, but I thoroughly understand now:

"Lee, it's gonna take you a few years to transition."

"WHAT?" I said. "You tripping. It ain't all that hard."

(Note: I had stopped eating meat on June 1, 2009. It was mid-June 2009 when we had this convo. LOL!!!)

"No, it's gonna take a minute."

"No it's not," I said.

"Yes it is," he shot back.

We went back and forth about that. I just let it go.

Then he said.

"You're gonna really have to learn how to cook."

Now he had just gone and lost his mind then.

ANYBODY WHO KNOW ME KNOW I CAN COOK MY TAIL OFF.

I began to think, "This boy don't know what he's talking about."

But...

I saw him a couple of months ago. We'd gone bowling. And I had to tell him.

"'Swad. You were right."

You were right, you were right, you were right.

I know he was thinking... she's a bit TOO excited.

LOL

This thing... it's gonna take a minute. It REALLY is a transition type of thing. I've been eating meat for over 39 years. That is a long time. That is something I've held strong to. It's completely automatic: meat at every meal. It's like that for everybody.

Hence, I do thoroughly understand:

"Girl, I couldn't do that. I couldn't go without meat."

Yeah, I understand that. Try to accept it, but it's not my personal truth anymore.

And that is why I wrote that short series of stronghold posts last week. There are things in life we hold strongly to. And when I think of strongholds, I think of bad things. I never thought of it in terms of the "normal" things. Eating meat is normal. It is vital. It is, as far as I'm concerned, the very best part of any plate.

Good meat is good meat.

So, I understand it takes time to transition away from it.

I don't know about you, but for me anything abrupt brings misery and shock and utter confusion.

And this hasn't been necessarily abrupt. But it's a process involving much time and patience on my part.

Now, looking back, I also understand the whole notion that I really have to learn how to cook. I mean really cook. And I better be creative as hell about it. Or there will be (and have been) problems.

I've had to learn how to properly cook my vegetables, and more importantly, expand my mind concerning trying new things. Trust, there is absolutely NO room to turn my nose up at anything new.

I better try it. Period. So what if I didn't like it?

I tried it.

I can now form and have an opinion on it.

I've had to learn how to braise vegetables. I've had to learn about different oils for cooking. I've had to try vegetables that I would otherwise not try. (I really like sea vegetables. A couple contain every mineral the body needs). I've had to learn to cook vegetables I don't care for (I don't like spinach, too slimy. But I have learned to cook it where it's not. And I like it).

I've had to learn about spices (I really like African spices. WOW!) I've had to learn which fruits and vegetables contain iron and protein, and how to incorportate them on a regular basis. I've had to try grains and learn to cook grains that I've never ever heard of or can barely pronounce (got a funny story coming up on this).

It helps much that I am a food chemist. I work with fruits and vegetables every day, and I see some strange stuff come through the lab. These days, I will go look up the item, not to to research the chemistry of it, but to get a recipe, or see how it's used.

(My Auntie Joyce has taken FULL advantage of this. She'll call and be like "Lisa, have you heard of mangosteen or chermoya?" Nope. But I'ma look it up and track some down for her.)

(Hope the boss don't read that, lol. Suppose to be concentrating on the pes.ticide resi.dues!).

LOL

With all this said, I have learned some key things:

I have learned to be opened minded and to try new things.

I have made it a point to read something new concerning vegetarianism each and every day. (this is NOT difficult. There's all kinds of stuff going on on Twitter and Facebook. And I do a good amount of casual reading.)

The point is I have learned.

And I will continue to learn.

And as a result, I will continue to grow.

The What, the Why, and Other Stuff

Don't feel like writing about my weekend.

Nope. I'm changing it up!

We're just gonna jump right on in... and we're gonna keep it short.

So...

I have gone vegetarian for a year. That's a whole 365 days.

Why did I do it? No, it wasn't a weight loss thing. This would be the WRONG thing to do for such a reason. We're getting over into trendiness issues then, and I can't stand trendy stuff. I want something that lasts.

I did it because of my lup.us issues. I noticed some strange things during our yearly church fasts over the years, which either required no meat, or a reduced amount of meat: I felt a lot better and my bloodwork was good. That got me to thinkng and digging and reading, and talking to my doctor. Looks like I have had bad inflammation responses to protein, namely meat.

I don't have debilitating pain, I don't walk with a cane, and I rarely have swollen joints. But I usually have low grade fevers and I'm in some type of pain most of the time (but it was something that I got use to). I am highly functional, not bedridden or any of that.

So a reduction in symptoms was my goal.

Was I a hundred percent successful? That wasn't even the point. That would have driven me nuts.

But I was around 95% successful. That number is simple enough to come up with. If I only ate one meal per day containing meat, then I would've reduced my meat consumption by around 66%. That in itself is a lot. It took a minute to figure out on paper, but I can actually remember the times I ate meat -vacation and around holidays- and I calculated from there.

That suprised me. 95% is a good number.

What are the results? The results were pretty good. Just talking with my doctor, and looking at bloodwork, my lu.pus symptoms were reduced by some 90%. I only feel bad these days if I'm stressed out, and I try to keep that down. I know lu.pus gets bads around cycle time, and that is rare these days. Heck man, for whatever reason, I don't even experience cramps anymore. (Glory, lol!)

I sleep much better. It's like I experience deeper sleep. And I tend to sleep through the night. I don't even need much sleep.

I lost 30-35 pounds around this time. No, this wasn't a weight loss thing. This was a "feel better" thing. I don't weigh myself. I only get weighed in during my doctor appointments, which are every six weeks or thereabouts. I seem to float up and down in that range. I figure that is because I'm not the most active Oldgirl in the world. I do some moderate walking, but I'm unable to do any running or anything strenuous, as it will hurt my joints.

My anemia is a distant memory. Been working on that for years, and lo and behold, it has evaporated. I don't have any bad protein issues, either. I get a full workup of every vitamin and mineral through my bloodwork, and all of it is good. I also had a significant drop in my cholesterol level. That was always borderline. It's been normal for the past year.

Will I continue in this? Yes. It is something that is becoming more of my own personal reality. It's not even something I care to talk about these days. I find that people tend to announce it if I decline to eat something.

"LadyLee's a vegetarian! She can't eat that."

This ticks me off for some reason. Then people commence to watching me. Which bothers me even more. Let's just say I catch hell at times if I'm eating a bag of chips or candy.

I suppose I have to understand that we all have our own ideas of what a vegetarian is. I have mine, and I have found that these ideas differ from person to person, from vegetarian to vegetarian, even.

I'm still in learning mode, without a support base. I think that it's a matter of not knowing where to find support groups and what not. (I would love a support group of some sort, but I don't want to deal with animal rights folks).

I've done well, and will continue to do so. It's a slow process, and that's cool.

The deal is, I'm making progress. It's a process, and I'm making progress.

I hope I've explained a little something here. It's all a little hard to explain in a nutshell, but I hope I've given you a glimpse into the what and the why.

And for the rest of the month, I plan on talking here and there about the good, the bad, the ugly and the funny of it all!

I know we don't look forward to Mondays, but it's gonna be a great week. Something great is going to happen this week, for you and for me.

So let's run with that attitude... and make it a great week.

On purpose.

Freestyle Fridays

It's Friday!!!

TGIF!

Man, this week was short. I suppose because I had a 4 day weekend this past weekend.

And yeah mon, I need MORE of those.

I'm not sure what's going on this past week, but it seems like every morning on the news, the top story is some joker running his car into the side of a house or building. Not sure what that's about. And I'm not sure if it should be top news if no ones hurt.

So they finally caught up with the dude who "misplaced" Natalie Holloway. Turns out a woman was found dead in his hotel room in Peru. I don't think he'll get away from this one. You kill once and get away with it, you'll eventually get cocky enough to do it again. I know they say innocent until proven guilty, but this dude started out with a guilt cloud over his head. I'm totally suprised that women he runs up on don't get the heck out of dodge. No way I would be going off alone with that dude.

What is up with this oil spill? The oil has flowed 150 miles from the point of the well explosion. They've capped the thing, but it's still spewing. I give them the benefit of the doubt, because all of this is happening a mile below the ocean surface. But is it just me, or is BP shady as hell? It's like they're making up stuff. Just tell the truth: we have NO idea what we're doing.

That's a LOT of oil coming spewing. And there are over 30 rigs out in the gulf. That's more oil. And no telling what's off the coast of Alaska. We could have conceivably been our supplying our own oil sources rather than depending on the middle east. Hmm... Wonder why that's not the case?

I will ponder and continue to wonder.

I am slowly getting together my vegetarian posts. Slowly. It should be interesting. I have so much to say, but I'm working on not being so longwinded. (Newsflash: it is NOT working out). So I will just go with the flow. Yep, that's the ticket.

This has been such a wasted week at work. UGH. Should've taken the whole week off. I don't do well after long weekends. Takes a few days to get back into the groove. Yesterday, I was terribly sleepy all day. I REALLY needed a nap.

I don't have a big weekend planned. I have a baby shower to attend tomorrow. And since I can't seem to leave work on Friday evenings early enough to get to church on time, I've taken to attending church on Sunday mornings, and that's working out very well. I do like Friday evening bible study, but it's a mad dash to get to the southside in Friday traffic. So Sunday will do. And I'm glad for it.

But that's it for me.

I hope your week has been a good one.

And I hope your weekend will be a great one.

I Remember...

You know... I, your friendly neighborhood Oldgirl LadyLee, called the Queen the other day.

Well not the Queen of England.

I don't care to talk to that Oldgirl.

I'm talking about the QUEEN.

QUEEN CELIE.

Tayari. Jones. The Great.
The Baddest Writin' Diva in the Solar System!

The most important writer in LadyLee's world!



She posted on Twitter that she'd just turned in her final edits of the MUCH ANTICIPATED third novel The Silver Girl. And she was crying.

I read that tweet, and my lip started to quiver. It was that hard core trying to hold in some tears type of thang. I did a "Have Mercy! Glory!" Esther (0f Sandford and Son fame) run and twirl and ran into the bedroom. I fell across the bed (disturbing the hell out of a sleeping Oscar-Tyrone), and hurriedly dialed her number on my cell phone.

I don't remember what she said when she answered the phone.

I just remember hollering in much exaggerated wails:

CELIEEEEEEE!!! I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!!

There was much more inaudible wailings from the two of us.

Followed by our fits of laughter! LOL!!

Man! Ya'll just don't understand. Miss Celie, the Great Tayari Jones, is my writing idol! I fall prostrate on the ground! I worship the ground she spits on.

If she told me "Nettie, if you go jump off a cliff, your writing will get better!"

Yep, this Oldgirl will be throwing herself off a cliff... expediently and immediately.

(And we call each other Nettie and Celie. Not sure how that took off so hard. It is funny! And confuses the hell out of folks).

Ya'll just don't understand, man.

Let me tell you something. And I keep saying this, and I will keep saying:

I LOVE seeing something develop from seed form to full manisfestation. I'm talking from seed to shoot to flimsy stem to stalk to mature plant full of good fruit.

MY GOODNESS.

I count myself incredibly rich to sit on the sidelines and WATCH this occur. There's something incredibly special about that. Something great about sitting on the sidelines cheering someone on, watching it all play out, play by play.

Something special and very necessary about it all. Jacks my hope and faith up a few notches!

And here it is again. I get to see it and be in on it again.

For I remember much Miss Celie.

My memory runs long. It runs very very strong

Yes, I remember...

I remember sitting in readings for that last great book of yours, The Untelling, and you talking of a new story you were working on...

I do remember, Celie...

Your blog being the first blog I've ever read, and your poignant posts on the new story, even a small excerpt.

I truly remember, Celie...

Begging and pleading for YEARS for the first 100 pages... Just the first 100 pages. I mean, I lobbied and stalked like my life depended on it, and you were ignoring the hell out of me.

I sho nuff remember, Celie...

Being in SWATS at your Mama and 'em house, and you leaving the dining room, and you leaving a marked up chapter on the dining room table. I thought to myself-

I can steal it, I can steal, I can steal it...

Just pick it up and take it... Take it. She won't know. She shouldn't have left the sucker out. JUST TAKE IT!

But I didn't. Just read the first line of that chapter and was GLAD for that little bit.

I do remember, Celie...

Me sitting in my cubicle on a cold winters afternoon, chatting with you over email. I'd ceased my Stalker Stan begging activities (didn't want you to think I was too touched in the head), pretty much givomg up by then.

I got an email from you saying "Here you go", with the FIRST 100 pages sitting there in an attachment.

My heart beat fast as I watched the pages come off the printer one by one... I let out a scream that had been hiding somewhere deep down in the seat of my soul.

*Cubicle peeps giving LadyLee the hard side-eye for causing such a sudden commotion*

I even remember, Celie...

You asking me to be a reader, and my sitting in a work related conference reading and reading and typing up notes, and reading and reading the whole manuscript.

I had NO idea WHAT was going on in that conference. Cuz I was sitting in the back looking like this:







LOL

Oh yes, oh yes, I must say, I can remember, Celie...

The endless talks about the manuscript, especially lately. Heck man, I didn't know what to say sometimes. All I know I'm an excellent listener, a good sounding board. I've read that manuscript with a fine tooth comb, and know it well. I was just happy to listen and discuss, and offer whatever words of help I could.


I do believe if you woulda started crying over it, I woulda bust out crying too...




Because you and me, we Celie and Nettie... you know how we do.
And now, I can say, I remember...

When you turned it in, and you told me of your release date.

I will soon be holding the fruit of the seed. sown so long ago. in my hands.

I will someday have my very own copy of The Silver Girl.

You planted and worked it and cried over it, and tended to it.

And it will soon be here amongst us.

I am sooooooo happy for you...

So happy for ya!

So congrats, Tayari!

I'm your number one FAN!!!

Shoot girl, I'm your number one Stalker STAN!!!

Can't wait for the book to come out, where I can hold it in my HAND!

And now...

And now...

And now, I can start my lobbying activities for Masterpiece #4, your next book...


(Oh, stop. Don't put the Celie curse on me. Just playing with you! Keep writing!)

LOL!!!!

95 Percent... What a Number!

Good Tuesday morning.

It's JUNE!!!!!

Not sure why I'm excited about that. Maybe just trying to sound excited.

I had a great Memorial Day weekend. So great that I called in and called off from work today.

I can see my boss throwing her phone up against the wall. lol

Oh well, she'll be alright. I have an ungodly amount of sick leave and vacation leave. An Oldgirl got stuff to do today.

The year is approximately 42% over. And I'm starting to think more about my goals, what I've done for the year, and where I want to go from here.

And one most interesting thing has gone down: As of yesterday, I've completed a year of transitioning to vegetarian.

MAN, I've learned some stuff this year. GEE WHIZ.

lol

I planned on having a Vegetarian week here on blog. But I'm ditching that idea, because that means that I'll have to write several posts over a week's time. I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna spread it out over the month, or even beyond, because I want to write about other things too. I got a lot of stuff going on right now (for some reason, I think I'm about to be forced into some 12 hour work days when it comes to this BS going on in the news right now), and I don't want to force myself into a box.

So in a nutshell, I reduced my intake by around 95%. I was shocked by that number. No I wasn't consistent, but looking at that number, it seems to show that some consistency was in place.

(I have consistency problems. Interestingly, the sermon on Sunday was concerning the mysteries of consistency. That's a whole nother food for thought animal that we DO NOT want to get into. LAWD HAVE MERCY!)

95% is an exceptional number. I pat myself on the back for that one.

And I will NOT concentrate on the 5% where I lost my flippin mind.

NOPE.

Ain't my fault that I went on vacations. And on holidays, I eat whatever.

And it was that one time that I was at my Auntie's house, and she put that nice fried chicken wing on my plate.

I ate that ish. And it was good. Almost ate the bones. My auntie can cook. It would be wrong for me to disrespect my elders.

LOL!

And I did other little dumb stuff. All I know, PMS tends to be a strange time for the Oldgirl.

But 95%. What a wonderful number.

Here's the deal. And here's the reason I wrote the stronghold posts last week.

I don't want this to be a will power thing... where I have to constantly think about it.

"Okay, okay, okay, let's make a menu plan, let's work HARD to stick to it, blah, blah, blah."

NO!! HELL NO!

(Excuse my yelling.)

Oh, don't get me wrong. I do these things. Serenity has grabbed me by the back of my neck and has forced me into it. (I know she just read that and hollered "What???") No, on the real, it was something I asked her assistance with, as a bootleg accountabilty partner (I can't stand that type of thing for some reason), and you know how that Serenity is: a chicken with a sharp beak pecking at my foot about such matters.

Let's just say, when I get to work every morning, I send her an email of what my meal plan for the day is. I even tend to do this on twitter. Shoot man, I think I even tried to send an email and she wasn't even at work that day. (Ended up just sending it to myself).

Yes, the habits are fundamental and totally necessary. Accountability, all of that. ALL of them. TOTALLY necessary.

The problem is, I want to go higher.

I am looking for that place, where it goes from being something up in my head, to somethng that drops down in my spirit and becomes a part of my heart.

Becoming automatic.

Without a second thought.

No falling off wagons. None of that. Just automatic.

A stronghold that won't be broken down.

THAT'S the place I'm looking for with this thing.

Will I get there? Most likely I will.

Because when I eat meat now, it's like, uh... where's my broccoli?

LOL

Broccoli... I crave it like a crackhead craves crack. LOL

I did pretty well, considering I'm alone in this. There's no vegetarian support system. Not like with the natural hair thing, and the workout thing going on around blogland. Nope. It's a ghost town.

And that's cool.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am EXTREMELY solitary.

And I know more today, than I did 365 days ago. MUCH more.

And my little year trial period (Yep, it was a trial period, you didn't know that?) is over.

I think I'll just stay this way.

And keep going.

And keep growing.

And working on jumping past that good number, that 95%.