Friday Freestyles!

TGIF!!!

Soooooo glad it's FRIDAY!

AND it's PAYDAY!

*backflips, cartwheels and SPLITS*

LOL

Man, it's been a long long week. Been working like a DOG! I've been scrambling hard due to having a doctor's appointment on Tuesday. I could have left my doctor's appointment and reported on in to work but...

NOPE!

Didn't do that. No way, no how. Just too k the day off and enjoyed my day.

My doctor's appointment was ho-hum. I was there a little longer than I should've been because it was lunchtime for the dude who does my bloodwork, so that was a bit annoying waiting to get that done. But the waiting room is nicer now. It use to be chocked full of people, and if you know anything about Henry County... well, the trailer park crew would be up in there and uh... that was NOT a good thing.

Next appointment is in 6 weeks... that will roll around soon enough.

HUGE development at work last night. My current supervisor has been promoted, and will no longer be associated with us. I am happy for her, because she just hasn't cared much about us over the past year. Our group is in complete turmoil, and I couldn't figure out why... And it was because she was jumping ship.

This was rumored some months ago. To the point where I went and said something to her about it. I had been in conversations with a couple peeps over in the other building, who are in the department she's taken over. They were hollering

"We need a director who will stand up for us against the upper level people! We hear your boss is gonna be our new director!"

*lee snickering HARD*

Had me laughing. My boss ain't standing up for them! WOW!

Now this bunch of folks are... how can I put it. You remember the movie "Do the Right Thing?" And how Radio Raheem and the other black dude were tripping on the Italian man's pizza shop, hollering 'bout "Why aren't there in any black people's pictures up on the wall?"

Real militant, solidarity type folk...

*snickering hard*

Let's just say their last director refused to meet with them, and sat in her office and read her books all day. My boss won't do that, but she ain't gonna stand up for them. I even went and said something to my boss.

"Sonya and them... they CRAZY! THEY CRAZY!"

My boss was saying something about we always starting rumors. Wasn't a rumor, I see. She's in for one hell of a ride. Good for her. Hope that works out for her. Not sure what will happen with our group. She's leaving it in complete turmoil. Hopefully we will rise up again.

Someone was telling me to apply for the supervisor position. I'll slit my wrists and throw myself off the roof before that happens. That is not my calling in life. I am not a "Yes" man. Nope.

Anyway, that will be the talk of the day. I was on the phone for awhile yacking with Cowgirl Cre last night.

On to other things...

Post of the week. Two good ones. One from one of my favorite bloggers, the Infamous La, intitled Sleep in the Middle, a very nice veiled piece on choices and motives. (You know how I feel about motives). Very good, La. Made me think.

Another is by my future president of these United States of America. She'll be the first black female president, and she'll do it anonymously, lol... Yes, Ms. Not So Anonymous wrote a very FINE post that appeared to be about networking, but it was more of a detailed look on Purpose, Passion, Character and Gratefulness. Very good piece. Go check that out.

Yeah, she's working on her presidential speeches already. Go gal!

Quote of the Week: From Miss Celie... I won't link her, but she posted this over on Facebook:

"Dear Democrats, I am going to vote, ok. But these this last-minute entreaties feel kinda like a middle-of-the-night booty call. Dems, you never send me flowers, check on me just to see how I'm feeling... but now you need a vote and you blow up my facebook, my email, telling me how important I am, how you can't live w/o me... Who knew that the Democratic Party was the reincarnation of my bad boyfriend from college."

Yeah... this whole election thing feels like a late night booty call. I don't care for the voting season at all, but I will vote. I've done my research, and I'm ready to vote!

Make sure you vote!

Song of the week. "Heartbeat" by Seduction



That's a manufactured group right there. And the lead singer ain't the best sanger in the world. But we use to love that song some 20 years ago... That wss the cut back then!

Well, that's it for my freestyles... I am looking forward to my weekend.

You have a good weekend! On purpose!

"Red, White, and Green"

Hot like fire
A cinnamon sweet fire on my tongue.
Burning my hand.
Burning my land.
Burning my mind with anger.

Vulminous clouds
As far as the eye can see
Snowy, cottony
Cool in my hand
Cooling my land.
Last things I see
Or even I remember
Before I faint and my mind fades to darkness.

Envious and snarling
As I lay here on the grass
The feelings that shroud and engulf me as you walk by with her.
Fresh on my hand
Fresh in my land
Letting me know that spring is here
A time for renewal
And starting over.

From August 2010 Women of Color Writing Workshop. Writing prompt: Pick three colors and use them in a poem or story. I was trying to do red white and blue but that didn't work out. I'm sure those colors I used are some country's flag colors, which would take the ish to some whole other level, lol

Of Field Trips and Twists

So...

I mentioned in Monday's post that I had a field trip planned for Monday night.

And it was to one of my favorite places.

The Dekalb Farmer's Market.

I absolutely LOVE this place. This is probably my best place for organic fruits and vegetables at a reasonable price. Everything is super fresh, and it's only a 20 minute drive from my home.

This became a field trip because one of my homegirls wanted to go. She's been before, but we'd been talking for the past few weeks about getting together and going. I don't care to go on the weekends, because everybody and their Mama is up in that joint. On a weekday evening, I can take my time, look around, and shop in peace.

So my girl Dawn and I hooked up.

Now you've heard me talk about Dawn before. She's one of my former book club sistas, and she facilitates my writing workshop.

She's the one who comes up with those odd wonderful writing prompts.

She's also, according to LadyTee, the world's best massage therapist. LadyTee thinks she's black Jesus.

"Whhhooooo Lawd! When Dawn get through with you, you can do anythang!"
*Me rolling my eyes at the incredible amount of jocking LadyTee does whenever Dawn's name come up*

"She get it allllll, babes! Ears, fangers, toes, left butt cheek, right butt cheek. She get it all, except the cat and the breasts! And that's cool."

Ladytee goes on and on and on... to the point where, whenever I see Dawn, I expect her a halo to pop up over her head and for angels to sing!

But this never happens. She's just good ol' Dawn...

And since we both work downtown, she decided to just trail me out to the Eastside for our little field trip.

The funniest part of this high speed jaunt down I-20 and I-285 was me calling Dawn on her cell phone and going OFF on her.

"Dawn if you don't turn those high beams off, I'm gonna pull over, park this car, and beat your butt, man!!!!"

LOL

We finally made it out there. And we had a great time. Dawn is like a little kid, having to run around and smell everything. I did my usual. She has this thing for baking tilapia these days, and she tried to bake some catfish recently. (I'm still laughing about THAT, lol). I pointed out some good fishes for baking (Amberjack, halibut, grouper), so she could kick some variety.

She frowned up when I ordered some some rainbow trout and had them cleaned. I plan ahead, man. I may want some doggone fish. I may not. Who knows. I also bought some chicken wings. (Don't worry. All that ish is in the freezer in the garage. Still inhaling my plants and fruits with a vengeance man).

I left with a basket full of fruits and veggies. Dawn left with a few items... one of which was a pint of coconut oil.

Hmmm... You know I was hollering, "Hey, that's what you put in your hair. That's what the natural heads use in their heads!"

Anyway, we finished up and headed back to my house, which is on the way to her place on the Westside. She has been on me to make her a salad.

I make the BEST salads. That's like my staple food or something. Whenever I go anywhere, and I know I'll be gone for awhile, I take a huge salad. I took one to her house awhile back, and she has been wailing for salad every since. So we came back to my house and I made her a BIG one, enough to last her for 3 days, consisting of baby green lettuces, raddichio, strawberries, cucumbers, tomatoes, grapes, mushrooms, raisins, seeds and nuts.

She was happy. Very happy.

LadyTee called. I told her Dawn was over.

I could hear the glee in LadyTee's voice. She's such a jocker. lol

Then Dawn did something odd.

She went out to the her car, got her coconut oil, and started playing with her hair.

I didn't pay much attention at first. Unsung was on, and they were doing Angela Winbush. I was chopping up the salad fixings and mixing them together.

Dawn was sitting on a stool, next to the kitchen island.

"You're twisting out your hair!" I whispered loudly.

She peered at me curiously, rubbed her fingers in the coconut oil... and continued to twist.

"You're twisting out your hair! In MY kitchen. I must go get my camara!!!!!!"

*breaking out into a HARD sprint into the laundry room to get my camera out of my bag*

I was SOOOOOO amazed.

"You're twisting out your hair in my kitchen. I gotta get some pictures! This gonna make me so popular with the natural heads!"

"What?" Dawn said, as she continued to twist.

"You natural headed chicks. Ya'll are like a gang or something. Some type of force!"

Dawn had that look on her face that said "LadyLee is off in the head"

So I took a few pictures... All the while yelling... "You're twisting out your hair! In my kitchen!!!

I must've taken 4 bazillion pictures.

And she was doing it... without a comb! (Can you do that? I would've gave you a comb, Dawn!)

Poor Dawn, I even followed her in the bathroom when she was trying to check it in the mirror! Still hollering "You are doing some twists!"

She couldn't quite get the back twisted. I couldn't help her with that. "You gotta ask them natural hair broads about that one, Dawn!" I said. "It looks alright to me, man!"

I must admit... I do like the coconut butter.

The picture is fuzzy, but a pint of good organic thai coconut butter is $3.99. And it has a melting point of 75 degrees, so it melts in your hand. (this amazed the Dr. LadyLee chemist part of me).

I mixed some with my shea butter, olive oil and herbal mixture I use on my head, and it was ON!

Whooo... Too much adventure for your friendly neighborhood Oldgirl. My heart is still beating fast. Had me hollering, "Serenity and them gonna love this!" LOL

DAWN! I can't wait for our next field trip.

I think we as a writing group are suppose to catch the MARTA train and do a little people watching and do some writing...

Now, that's gonna make for an interesting blog post, lol...

Good Rainy Monday Morning

I tell you, there's nothing like laying in bed listening to the horn of the morning train, and the sound of the morning rain.

And then there's that sad realization of "It's Monday Morning, and I gotta drive in this mess."

With all the other ATL drivers. And we can't drive in the rain. Sigh.

And that's okay. Just gotta be extra extra careful.

Hmm... maybe I'll stay off that freeway, and take some back roads to work...

Anyway, the current temperature in the rainy ATL is 65 degrees.

Nice and cool indeed.

Sorry I haven't been posting much. My laptop is acting janky, and I've been busy. I was left in charge a couple of days last week (not sure why, as I don't get off on being left in charge. The management people ain't the sharpest tools in the shed, you know). Plus I was sick one day. (Thought it was the end of the world!) Wasn't in the mood to get my blogging done, or any of my other writing done. Hard sigh.

My weekend. It was a good one. I deem this a family weekend, which is rare for me. I saw TWO members of my family this weekend, well three really. Friday night after work I stopped by my grandmother's house to drop off her new debit card. I hung out for a good half hour and watched television with her and my uncle. I wish I could've stayed longer but I was bone tired and I came on home.

Saturday, my sister Kentucky came over. We'd planned earlier in the week to go bowling, but I was wailing hard about Aunt Flo, and almost didn't go. I took a chance and went, and we ended up having a great time. Of course, I being the big sister, beat my sister three games in a row.



That's one of my scores. I got a score of 115 on another game which is GREAT for me.

We left there and went to an old Pizza joint one neighborhood over. I didn't know the place was still there. I took my siblings there when they were kids, when I was in Grad school and rented a place over that way.

I had a couple of slices of pizza: a slice of spinach and mushroom, and a slice of broccoli and tomato...

That's how I like my broccoli on my pizza - barely cooked. Very good place. The only thing I'd like better is if they offered a whole wheat crust. (Not big on white bread these days, man.)

We had some doughnuts from Sublime (My sister left hers at my house... those doughnuts are either going in the trash or being taken expediently to work, lol).

A carby day indeed, man, lol... That's why we took a little time to walk around the neighborhood track at dusk. I love the ATL skyline around this time, when the lights in the building are on.



(It was getting dark and I live in the hood... This means, snap that picture and let's get the heck out of dodge!)

We returned to my place and watched a few episodes of the Boondocks that I'd rented.

It was really good to see her. I have only seen her a three or four times in the last 4 to 5 months, and I miss her terribly. I am adjusting to living alone, even though I thought I never would. I'm beginning to envision my plans for the upstairs portion of my house, and I plan on spending the holidays doing some much needed painting and furnishing up there.

Sunday was a lazy day. My pastor had been robocalling the cheese outta folks telling us it was very important to come to church. Uh, no pastor. When you do that, that means everybody and their mama was gonna be there. So I caught the internet stream. Yes, it was a terribly improtant message, confirming some things I'd been thinking on all year, really. So I was thankful for that.

I managed to get a little writing done also. My major problem is that I spend more time thinking about what I want to write rather than writing. I need to correct that somehow. National Novel Writing month is coming up in November so I plan to finish off this current manuscript during that time.

So that's it for me. It's 8 in the morning right now and still dark outside. NOT a good look, man.

I don't have many plans for the week. Me and my writing workshop leader have planned a field trip this evening to the farmers market. I'm off on Tuesday for a doctor's appointment. (Management still hasn't approved that. Don't let an Oldgirl have to call in sick!) But as for the rest of the week, I'll be a little worker bee. There's a singles conference at church the latter part of the week that will go more into detail over Sunday's sermon, so I may get nosy enough to go check that out.

But that's it for me... I don't really have a quote of the week. Well yes I do.

"The secret to your success is in your daily routine."

I'm having to remind myself that what I do consistently is what matters and what builds me up and propels me towards my goals.

Yeah. Easier said than done.

Song of the week? Well, one that's in my IPOD... a bit too sad for me, but definitely good for the context for which it was written ("If trouble were money" by Mint condition (Jason's Lyric Soundtrack).



That's for MsMarilie... one of her FAVORITE groups, lol.

Well, ya'll another week is upon us.

Y'all have a great week. No, ya'll MAKE it a great week... on purpose.

"Gone"

That chapstick with sand all around the cap...
Got my lips all cut up and bleeding.
Sand all in my teeth now, been spitting all day, trying to get rid of it
And it ain’t working.

This paper clip necklace around my neck may not be made of diamonds,
But I feel like a million dollars when I wear it.
I walk down the street, my head held high
And people are looking at me
Starstruck by my royalty
Blinded by the glare of the sun off my special diamond necklace.

I practice my name over and over
In the same notebook, over and over again
Until I get it perfect.
Just right.
L’s big and loopy.
C’s curvy and strong.
G’s fat as they want to be.
No room for the vowels, as they don’t matter.

I run down the street holding Powerball tickets,
I picked out of the trash
I yell “I won, I won, I won the 300 million! I won!”
People look at me, keep passing me by.
No one to celebrate with me.
And I wander why.

This power chord,
It’s all I got.
Someone stole all my other stuff
Paper clip necklace gone,
Chap stick gone,
Notebook gone
300 million gone.
Everything gone.
I may as well go to the top of this bridge
The bridge I sleep under every night
And tie one end of this chord around something up there.
And wrap the other end around my neck.
And jump like they do off them bridges
That bungy thing, I think they call it
And Fly and fly and fly,
All the way down…
Hoping I’ll bounce back
So I can do it all over again.





From October 24, 2010 Women of Color Writer's Workshop...

Writing prompt: Pulled a notecard from a stack... use what is written on the card in a story/poem (10 minutes).

On my card was written

1. Chapstick with sand around the cap.
2. A necklace made from paperclips.
3. A notebook for practicing your name over and over
4. A power chord
5. Old winless powerball tickets.

Sigh. When I got that card, with all that written on it, I wanted to throw it out the window. I don't like long complicated writing prompts. This one involved things possibly found in a bag. Those were strange things to find in one's bag. (Poor Dawn, who made up the cards, got some sideway looks from the stuff she came up with for the cards, lol)

But I am glad I made a go of it. Got a useful little poem for my blog out of it!

Wordless Wednesday - Signs that Keep it Real

Freestyle Fridays... The Long Version

TGIF!!

Fridays, man...

They roll around QUICK!

And this is Payday.

*backflips, cartwheels and splits*

I tell you, my weeks are going by pretty fast. This was an especially good week, as I was a bit more organized at home and I was able to get a fair amount of chores done during the week, instead of saving them for the weekend. I had to get out of the coming home and laying across the bed immediately (and kicking that Oldcat Oscar to the side). If I can spend about an hour doing some things, then I'm straight. Gives me more time to run the streets on the weekend.

Post of the Week: "Ugh" by Not So Anonymous. This speaks to the age old problem that many single black women have... You know, when folks always up on you, asking "So, when are you gonna get married?" And they are upset about your choices.

Ms. Not so Anonymous wrote about how her mother and others (women in particular) have a problem with her preference for men who have a college degree. I like what she said about that.

"...and like the others she had to let me know how much I was limiting myself, blah, blah, blah. Damn right I’m limiting myself…I’m limiting myself from the smokers, the guys who don’t use good judgment, those with terrible and faulty character, the uneducated, the non Christians, the fiscally irresponsible, those that lack ambition, the liars, the ex convicts, the close minded ones, and the mean spirited ones. But, never, not ever does she or they (the other women who find issue with MY preferences) focus on anything else being a limitation, nope, just the education piece."

I wanted to leave a comment... but it would've been too long. But the whole post deeply disturbed me, because as women, if you're not booed up or married, people have a problem with you.

Everyone has a standard for which they feel loved. And before all that, everyone has standards and particular sets of limitations they have for a mate. Those vary from woman to woman. And there is nothing wrong with that.

But here's what I've realized, and it burns bright as the sun in my brain ESPECIALLY since turning 39 or 40.

When it comes to these types of isshas, you either doing one of two things in life: You running with what's in your heart of hearts to do, or you doing things in order to gain the approval of people.

I can throw EVERYTHING into those two categories. There are no gray areas for me. Once I realized that, my life choices and my confidence in my priorities and preferences in all things became stronger.

In other words, I don't give a fcuk what you think about me, my life, and my choices.

Yes, that is hard to think, let alone, say, especially to those who love you, and who are coming at you out of love and a good heart, and in general just wanting you to be happy (in their eyes). For me, it doesn't stop at a man... (although I get it from time to time)... but it also comes down to what Church I prefer to attend, my hobbies, where I prefer to live, the beater I choose to drive (although I can afford a top of the line Benz or Lexus). All kinds of stuff.

I like what I like. I do what I do. I feel like as long as I'm not hurting myself or anyone in the process, then that's the way I'm going to continue to operate. Period.

Let me tell you something: there are people out there whose whole entire life is predicated on impressing people and on what people think of them. There whole life is determined by being approved by people. In less vernacular terms, the quality of their lives is dertermined by how much they are "sweated" by others.

It is to the point where if you sat down and talked to them to find who they truly are inside, you can't. Because they don't even know who they are their ownselves.

That is SAD. And I see it ALL the time.

And it helps me understand the "why" behind why God only looks at a person's heart. Only.

I truly adore people who are highly "indiviualistic", i.e., who dance mightily to the beat of their own drums. It's more than finding a needle in a haystack... it's more like finding a rare diamond in a haystack.

My dear Ms. Not So Anonymous... do me, your friendly neighborhood Oldgirl a favor: stick to your preferences. Just nod and smile when folks are criticizing you, and keep moving forward. STOP explaining yourself. You don't have to. Stick to what's in your heart, and what will be best for you and your child. Period.

'Cause let me tell you something, boo. Ain't no worse feeling in the world than waking up, looking over at the man you are married to, and looking over at him sleeping and thinking...

"I did the wrong thing."

All kind of ish goes through your mind. Mama liked him. My friends liked him. He looked good on paper. Well sorta. He didn't meet all my preferences. There was no "UMPH". But I gotta do SOMETHING.

That one little issha you got with him, that seemed minimal and not a big deal magnifies exponentially when you get married. EXPONENTIALLY. What seems like a small scab, becomes a festering oozing sore as big as your head, man... Real fast.

I may be wrong about that. Just my opinion. But women get desperate, and do desperate things, and end up off the path of their lives. And that bothers me.

In Ms. Not So Anonymous, I see my future POTUS, so she best get a man who can handle that. LOL!

Anyway, that was a good post. Bothered me, and made me think about my own life and needs.

Song of the Day: I bought a new Ipod shuffle (lost the old one), and this song keeps coming up (Gotta load more songs) . I really like this song here... good for lab work, lol. "My Need" by Janet Jackson.



*lee doing the hard shoulder shrugs while grinding up asparagus, soybeans and avocadoes in the lab*

That's from that Velvet Rope album.

I remember after hearing that record back in 1998 or 1999, thinking

Janet got some PROBLEMS!!

But you're Janet. You're wealthy, the most desirable woman on the planet (next to Halle, and we KNOW she got issues). She is NOT suppose to have problems!!

No one is exempt from problems.

It's how we get through them... that's what's key.

A mini-food for thought for your weekend.

Whelp! That is all for freestyles. Ya'll have a GREAT weekend!!!

And that's an order!

Brown

Skin, rugged yet velvety soft
Soothing memories of my favorite chocolate delight.
So rich and smooth,
I wanted to taste it, wondering if it had flavor.
Even though it didn’t matter how it tasted,
As long as it was a deep, dark... hershey bar dark

Because it was the color of the Chattahoochee late in the midnight hour
When the moonlight lands and lights the river,
Lights the river just right.

His eyes were the same,
Deep dark pools of muddy water.
Swirling,
Flowing,

Hypnotizing me
Pulling me in,

Drowning me
Drowning me.



From October 8, 2010 Women of Color Writing workshop. Writing prompt: We drew crayons from a box of crayons. We had to write about whatever color we pulled. I pulled a "brown" crayon. (Short exercise: 5-7 minutes)

Why in the world was I thinking about a brown man? LAWD!

Hey Dawn! No more brothers at the Women of Color Writing Workshops PLEASE!! (And the fellas really liked that piece when I read it... A LOT. Hmm.)

LOL!

Food for Thought: Your Love List

My favorite author in the whole wide world writes some of the best writing craft posts over at her blog. They always seem to be what I need to help me go one step further in my writing. Always at the right time, too... It's like she can read my mind, and she gets a notion to help the Oldgirl out.

So it's rare to catch a non-writing post from her, especially one that's more akin to my own "food-for-thought" types of posts. I read one in particular, called her up and said

"Celie! You better let me repost that!!"

(yeah right).

It was more like:

*Lee falling to ground and grabbing Tayari around the knees and crying profusely*

"Oh Silver Girl! PLEASE be so kind as to let a lowly Oldgirl repost that Keep a Love List post!"

She waved her silver magic wand. Silver dust filled the air, and she said "Yes, you may!"

(yeah right)

LOL!!!

It was somewhere in between those two... At any rate, she said Yes. And I am pleased. (I was afraid that she would say no!)

So, here's a "pseudo" guest post from my favorite author in the whole wide world... Miss Celie, aka Tayari Jones...

Keep a Love List

I spend a lot of time advising writers not to let rejection get them down. But today, I am offering a difference bit of advice on the same subject. Instead of thinking of ways to ignore the sting of failure, let's try learning how to celebrate successes-- no matter how small.

Have you noticed the way that we tend to take negativity to heart, no matter what the source? For example, if a deranged stranger on the subway insults you-- says you're fat or something-- you may spend the whole day thinking back on it, being angry or hurt. But if that same person were to give you a compliment, you wouldn't be on cloud 9 all day. Instead you would consider the source-- he was just some nut on the train... and how come I can never get any attention from XYZ person, etc. How many times have you heard a friend or even yourself respond to positive feedback by saying, "Well, that doesn't count because....."

A couple years ago, I realised that I had a bad case of this disorder. I noticed that I could quote negative reviews chapter and verse. (And truthfully, they weren't all that negative. They just weren't raves.) But when I got a rave, I explained it away. "Well, that was just because I am a local girl." or something like that.

I was doing this in every aspect of my life. At the time I was trying to lose weight. When I would get on the scale and had gained half a pound-- so frustrated, in the wrong direction a half pound was a LOT. If I lost half a pound-- why wasn't it a full pound!!-- still frustrated.

The remedy, is that I started keeping a little "love list." At night when I got through plaiting up my crazy hair, I would jot down every nice thing that was said to me that day, every positive thing I had done toward my goals. I wrote down everything-- no matter how small. (When the lady at the Thai restaurant brought me a free taste of coconut ice-cream, I wrote that down. Kind emails from readers, printed them out. When a dude sleeping on a bench said, "You are one good looking lady," I put that on the list. The next day when he said, "I may be homeless, girl, but I ain't blind!" I put that down, too.) Then, the next morning when I drank my coffee, I read the list from the day before. I know it sounds kooky but it really improved my outlook on life.

And kookier still, when I opened my eyes to the affirmation I received, it seemed that the list each day just kept getting longer and longer.

LadyLee's 2 cents (Uh, I mean... Commentary)

Thank you for such a thought provoking post, Tayari...

Sending an intannet High-five to ya!

You know, this post... It really spoke to me. As I've gotten older, I'm beginning to recognize that I have to literally fight to keep the negative things of the day from renting space in my mind. I mean, it gets down to mental gymnastics sometimes to keep all that stuff from really crushing my heart and emotions.

So as a result, I tend to write. I know earlier this year, me and my baby blog sista Serenity were keeping a gratitude journal. Not sure what she was doing, but I was simply writing one sentence a day expressing what I was thankful for. I loved doing that. It proved to me that there was always - ALWAYS - something to be thankful for. And for a moment, only a mere moment, I could concentrate on THAT instead of what was pissing me off that day.

I think Tayari's thoughts takes it to a whole nother level. Writing down ANY nice thing that happened that day, any nice thing that was said, and any step towards goals (which is always nice), is riveting.

Man... that's something from which a new attitude, a new outlook on life could be born... and become a stronghold in one's heart.

And isn't that what we all are looking for?

To be well grounded in our self-love, self-respect, self-esteem... self-worth.

From those intangibles, all tangibles are born.

Add to that that your love list is the most unique list in the world. No one else's is like yours... not even remotely so.

I may be thinking to deeply about this.

Or am I?

Hmmm

Just a little Food-for-thought for your Hump Day...

Thanks Tayari!

Why don't you write a post like that, say... everyday!!!?

Cat. Bounce. Rain.

“She got that Kitty-Cat! She know how to Bounce with it!”
“She got that kitty-Cat! She know how to Bounce with it!”

The DJ yelled that over and over again as he spun records on the turntable
He yelled it as I spun round and round that pole.

Men hooped and hollered.
Dollar bills rained.
And rained.
And rained.

I didn’t hear any of it.
As I swung round, and round and round that stripper pole.
Dollars raining, drowning out my tears.
Providing a light veil for my unspoken fears.
Soon it would be all over.

House lights on.
Adoring fans gone.
Only the sound of my careful footsteps, as I walked alone.
Just me and a pocketbook of dollars,
They'd be gone soon, evaporating like summer rain.

Silence displacing the accolades.
Replaced by the sound of my own breathing…
My cigarette ember glowing, gray smoke unfurling.
Smoothed out by the taste of my salty tears.

Cat once warm, now cool against the hard wooden bench as I awaited a cab home.
No bouncing as the sun came up over the horizon.
“There would be more cat, more bounce," I whispered as I took a long drag from my cigarette.
"There would be more rain tonight.”




From October 8, 2010 Women of Color Writing Group. Writing prompt: Write a verb and a noun on a card and place it into a basket. Participants pull a random card from basket and write for 10 minutes using the verb and noun they pulled. I pulled a card with the words "cat" and "bounce" written on it.

Hmmm... maybe I was suppose to write about Oscar-Tyrone! lol

Happy Columbus Day!!!

LOL!!

I could care less about Columbus Day. I'm just glad that I have a day OFF!

I was telling LadyTee that I wish I had a little toy version of one of those ships Columbus sailed over on... I would most definitely put that sucker on the front porch with a big banner reading HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY!!!

Not sure why we celebrate a man who "discovered" what was already here. Sigh.

It's all good. A free day off. All good, man.

This has been a lazy weekend. I ran a few nominal errands and did my chores. (Yes, I'm THAT boring, and I like it.)

The highlight of my weekend was my Friday night Women of Color Workshop. I wrote some nice material, and the ladies did a good job also.

We have one male member. I'll call him "Hakeem". So technically we're not a women's workshop, lol. I love that he's there, because he's brings a whole nother perspective to whatever we're talking about. Plus he's written several books, and I learn much from him.

This time, he brought his best friend with him. He's in town for his birthday.

That was TOOOO much eye candy for the all of us. Let's just say concentration is hard to have when 2 fine men are sitting there, and reading their work. I am a pro at such, but the other chicks... let's just say, they need to work on that.

(They are gonna get me if they read that. Ha ha!)

So stay tuned for some interesting pieces this week.

Post of the Week. America the Beautiful. By the Infamous La. She always makes me think. And I stalk her terribly on twitter. She's gonna have me arrested, lol.

Very nice piece, made me think and examine myself and how I treat people.

Go La! I wait on the edge of my seat for whatever you write. You know I'm your stalker stan, uh, I mean, your FAN!!! LOL

Song of the Week. One of my favorites, from Brandy, featuring some of my favorite female rappers, the remix to "I Wanna Be Down".



Man, when I look at todays female rappers, I just SHAKE MY HEAD.

These were REAL female rappers. I believe we are all the same age. I guess that is why I could relate to them back them. And guess the young ladies of today can relate to the likes of Nicki Minaj.

Sigh. That didn't sound right. But it is what it is. To each his (or her) own.

For some odd reason, I haven't been able to log into my blog. But I found a backdoor way in, and well, I can get back to my regular posting! *backflips*

So with that, ya'll have a great week!!!

Friday Freestyles

Friday!

And to top it off, I have a THREE day weekend coming up!!

Celebrating Columbus Day!

*pulling out the grill and grilling up a whole mess of chicken and ribs*

LOL!!

Let me tell you something: A few years ago, when Ronald Reagan died, federal employees were given the day of Reagan's funeral off from work.

Don't think I didn't go over to LadyTee's house and grill out all day... while watching the funeral on TV.

Day off use to mean crank up the grill!

This week has been... interesting. Management, or the whole agency, I think, got the BRIGHT idea to restrict our worktimes. So EVERYBODY has been up in arms about this. Lots of people had 4 day workweeks for many years, and that was cut. Then you had peeps like me who worked a little over 8 hours a day, thereby earning credit time.

That was cut.

Although you can send an email requesting to work over your 8 hours.

That ain't gonna happen. (Well not from me, at least. They can go sit on a tack. With the myriad of problems around there, they focus on TIME!? HILARIOUS!)

I've been doing this 8 hour workday all week. It is interesting. I don't work as hard. If things are left undone, they'll get done the next day. And no one's giving me crap about it.

And I don't feel bad about it. Works our better for me, as I am following the rules, you see...

I haven't been blogging because it's a beast trying to log in to blogger. I suppose I have a virus of some type. The computer makes me clear my caches and cookies, then HOPEFULLY I can log in. It takes hours, though. So as you can see, not much blogging for moi.

I guess I have to take my computer in to get cleaned. I want a little netbook in the meantime. I have to talk to my finance accountability partner about this, though.

Tonight I have a Women of Color Writing Workshop. Last time was so-so, as all the regulars weren't there, and the more erotic crew showed up, so, uh, my pure innocent virginal ears heard many interesting things. Very well written, but uh, had to make sure I kept an open mind, lol...

Midterm elections are coming up, and I'm having to spend time thinking and reading about various candidates. I was always one who voted in major elections, like presidential, but I heard a very good sermon a few years ago concerning getting out and voting, and how folks died so we could vote, and don't bother praying about change in the country if you're not willing to sit down and research your district's candidates. That disturbed me. And yes, the traffic is sparse in my voting spot on minor election days, but I do try to go and do my part.

So as a result, I've been listening to black talk radio. It's much more detailed and more variable than conservative talk radio. There's more of a focus on local issues. That along with a little reading is helpful.

So, I urge you to vote in the upcoming election. It's very important.

I don't have much on tap for the weekend. More fall cleaning, and a great deal of writing. I plan to get out and enjoy what appears to be a gorgeous sunny weekend...

Congrats to Tayari Jones, who I affectionately refer to as Miss Celie... Looks like the new book will be out early next year. It's been such an honor and priviledge to actually "see" this whole process over the past five years, from conception to the point of birth.

Y'all know she's my FAVORITE author, and I'm her number 1 fan, and I jock her like crazy, lol. She's put up with my stalker stan activities quite well, and she's been such a good mentor to me...

So you go Celie! I can't wait to hold a fresh copy of Silver Girl in my hands!

That's it for my Friday Freestyles. Have a great weekend! On purpose!

"I Am"

I am
I am here.
I am me.
I am on my way to who I was meant to be.

I am high.
As I fly
High above all that is beneath me.

I am sad.
Close to mad.
At having to watch every word
Every action
Every decision
Every faction
Who’s there to keep me from being all I can be.

I am on the way to that place called there
As I look back and forth everywhere
So scared to miss it
So afraid to diss it
So afraid to turn around and walk the wrong way

I am who I am
Still learning
Still growing
Still flowing

For I am me
I am here.

From September 24, 2010 Women of Color Writing Workshop. Writing Prompt: Write a poem or story beginning with "I Am"(10 minutes).

Monday!

Monday Morning rolls around like clockwork.

And here we are.

The current temperature in the ATL is 47 degrees.

The high for today will be around 70 degrees.

I'm loving the balmy October temperatures. But the morning temperatures are a bit cool. And it's not getting light outside until after the seven, which has recked my walking routine. Ugh. I'm in the midst of figuring something out.

Or maybe I'm just being hardheaded.

My weekend. I had a great weekend. No rush to run errands or anything. The most dramatic thing I had to do was go to work and put up some frozen fish that I was letting defrost in the sink. (And it was still frozen. Hope it's thawed today).

But it was the WRONG time to go downtown. First of all, this was the final weekend of the baseball season. Folk have barely gone to games all year, but everyone and their Mama was down there this weekend. I live within earshot of the baseball field, and it was hard to get out of my neighborhood. I took a few backstreets, but looks like every body knows the backstreets now.

Then, BET was in town filming the Hip Hop Awards. They had Midtown blocked off like President Obama was coming through. LOL!

After making it to work, I drove out to my writing workshop Dawn's house on the westside.

2 hour commute total. YIKES.

I put less than 5000 miles a year on my car. Let's just say, that 2 hours... that was a long time being in the car for me!

But once I got to Dawn's, all was good. She wanted to learn how to make granny squares for a new crochet project. We spent several hours on that. It worked out well. I think she will be able to make some good squares....

I like going to Dawn's. And we were in the room where she does her massages. I dabbled in her collection of massage oils. I was smelling like lavendar, sandalwood, avocadoes....

Man, I was smelling good! LOL.

*Dawn rolls eyes at all my glee*

Sunday, I woke up early and went to church. Had a fine time, learned a few good things. Then I went to the local black people's Wal-mart, which was a little calmer than expected for a Sundary afternoon. I came home and took a 2 hour nap that just threw me all off, i.e., didn't get much done around the house, and ended up going to sleep around 2 in the morning. UGH.

So now we are here.

Hello Monday. I may have the gas face this morning, but I am happy to see you.

For I am thankful to see another day, no matter if it's the most dreaded day of the week.

This is another day, another day to get it right...

Another day to do something good for myself and those around me...

With that...

You have a great Monday. On purpose.

Friday Freestyles

TGIF!!

*double backflips*

And to top it off, today is payday!

Hallelu--yer!

LOL.

It would be nice to go off and spend the whole check, but I think I'm sticking to a stringent budget for the rest of the year. I'm doing well in meeting my savings goals, and I need to keep moving full speed ahead with that.

Alas... no balling.

I've had a pretty good week. I've been quite productive at work, the boss ain't been mentally busting me upside the head... a good week overall. And I hope my day ends nicely.

I'm finding that I have to do my Farmer's Market shopping of Thursday evenings. I've peeped them out: they're getting ready for the weekend crowds (when it's butt-to-butt deep in people up in there, like a club), so organic produce is cheaper. And it's much quieter, a better shopping experience... So that will be the new order of the day, man.

Serenity and I are reading the book of Isaiah for the month of October. There was a bit of squabbling over this, as she likes to ask questions. ("How many chapters a day should we do, Lee?", etc.) I was not in the mood. Just come up with something! DANG!

I think I hurt her feelings... Woo, woo, woo Oldgirl. LOL. You grown. You'll be alright.

So we started that today. Deeply disturbing. There was something there about the judgmental nature of so-called "religious" people.

*crickets*

Moving right along.

Not much on my docket for the weekend. I may go harrass my sweet Grandmother. My writing workshop leader Dawn wants me to start her on a new crochet project.

Holler at me, Dawn!!! Let me know what time you want me to come over, Ma!

I'm going to church, either tonight or on Sunday. Haven't decided. I like going on Friday nights. You got the chilled out crew there then, not the big crowds. And I like my assistant ministers. So we will see.

I had a prayer answered this week that I've been praying about all year long. Let me correct that.... I pray one good time about something, and then I thank God in advance for the answer. Period. None of that whining and praying over and over about it. Give thanks. Til it happens. And it did. And I'm grateful for that. Very much so.

And this happens. In the midst of all that is going on. Let's just say... Man, you find out what people think of you these days. It's a bit alarming. And it's like, some ol' indirect craziness. A lot of folks don't know I attend one of those awful megachurches. I've heard some tongue lashing like none other. People make the strangest assumptions. WOW. Nice to sit back and listen.

Those same folks think very highly of me.

And yet, in spite of all that, all that judgment, a prayer was answered. Shoot, I have a VERY high incidence of answered prayer. Hmm.

I'm glad God don't look down on me.

That would be a, I don't know... a problem. Hmm.

Anyway, all is good. 75% of my year is over. 25% is left. I think I'll set a few goals for the rest of the year, just to close the year out on a good note. So this weekend, I'll make out a goals list, and post it on the wall or on my bathroom mirror. See what I can get done by the end of the year.

I'm LOVING this cooler weather. Might be a good time to grab one of the "locals" and clean out my garage. (I've been given grief about this from one of the locals, lol ... my garage is not crazy. Just need to organize and throw out a few things that I don't use.)

With that said, I'm outtie. Going to work early. And today is me and Cowgirl Cre's Doughnut day. Every payday, we have doughnuts from Sublime Donuts, a gourmet doughnut shop that's the best in the ATL, owned by a brother, Kamal. I think I'll have one today. So I'm on my way to get us a couple...

I hipped LadyTee to this place. She called me and was like "Girl..."

"I told you, LadyTee. That brutha makes some insane doughnuts! Voted best in the ATL!"

"It's like CRACK, man!" LadyTee screamed.

Alas, why I only run up in there on Payday. We like the orange dream star, which reminds us of the old push up orange sherbert popsicles, and the caramel apple fritter. There's also a powdered strawberry stuffed doughnut.

Stuffed with REAL strawberries. Several strawberries, cut in half and stuffed inside.

You know how I feel about my fruit.

Let. Me. Stop.

LadyTee loves black businesses... she's gonna support him. But at the same time, she's glad she doesn't work nearby. She'd be in there everyday. I'm not a big sweets person. But I'm glad it is in the opposite direction of my job!

I'm choosing only one today. There was much discussion about this amongst me and The Cowgirl Cre. I think we've made our decisions.

Song of the Week. You know I like my remixes. Here's a nice one I rarely here, but a group of the 90s, After 7...

Alright, enough of my free streaming thoughts. And as you can see, they are all over the place, on a plethora of things...

Listen... Ya'll have a great weekend... on purpose.