Food for Thought: Wine, Kibble... and Gratitude

So you know who my favorite author is...

Yes ma'am! The Great Tayari Jones! Author of Silver Sparrow!

*LadyLee falls at her feet and weeps uncontrollably*

Blog family hollers, "Stop jocking, LadyLee!"

Oh hush. Look, LadyLee don't jock many folks. But I sure jock her. Why, I worship the ground she spits on.  And I will tell her that. On the phone. To her face. Through mental telepathy.

I AM the Number One fan. All day, everyday!

Me and the scarfed chicken shown here, Serenity Chicken, jock her something awful.

My eyes... they grow wide like Serenity Chicken's eyes when I see the Great Tayari Jones. All I need is a beautiful red scarf for my head. LOL

But I've known her for several years, now. My showing up at readings and book signings crying uncontrollably... well that gets me noticed.

(Yeah right)

I tell you what. She has become not only a great mentor, but someone who makes me think and strive for more on a personal level.

Case in point? We had a pretty good conversation recently. One of those that I term "massive". Unbeknownst to her, it was one of the most important conversations I had last year.

~fuzzy wavy lines, jumping a couple months back in time~

So...

I was at work. Or I was at home. I think I was at home.

No... I was at work.

I was watching CNN on my computer.  And they were talking about this crazy hurricane. Hurricane Sandy. Superstorm Sandy. Something like that. They had been talking about it all day. It was the top of the news. The newspeople were on location, clutching their microphones tightly and talking over the wind. And it was raining.

This storm was was heading straight for the New York and New Jersey area. They mentioned where Tayari lived.

O_O

I picked up my phone and dialed her number.

After a few rings, she picked up.

"Whassup," she said.
"Hey... are you watching the news?"
"No."
"It's like, a storm coming your way, Celie!"
"I've been traveling and on tour," Tayari responded. "I didn't know, Someone just text me about it."

*momentary silence*

"Uh," I said slowly. "It's suppose to be bad."
"I've been traveling," she repeated. "Just got in."
"Girl! Storm coming your way. Get ready! You got some supplies?"

* momentary silence AGAIN*

"I got a case of wine," she said matter-of-factly.
"What?" I said. "You joking, right?"
"Got a case of wine," she said again. "I'm all good."

Then she talked about her cat. She has a new cat.

Canela Jones. 

Better known as the "Drama Princess".

She looks... dramatic. Like she's deep in thought. Like she is contemplating... something.

She is Canela Jones.

MISS Canela Jones if you nasty.

Maybe she was concerned about the impending storm. Yeah, that's it. She's pontificating the storm.

"My cat has 30 pounds of dry cat food," Tayari said. "And I have my wine. We're good."

I screamed.

Silently to myself, of course.

"Uh, yeah.. Tayari. This here look a bit serious. A bit more drastic than cat food and wine."

"I have my case of wine."

This must have been some good wine. But I was staring at my computer screen. And becoming increasingly afraid of the storm. And afraid for her.

"Why you didn't drive home, Man? Get in the car and drive to Atlanta."
"I don't have my car anymore," she said. And we talked about that.

"Where is Mama and Papa Jones?" I asked. "I'm gonna have to call them. Next time, we will have to run up there and get you."

She went back to talking about this wine again. "I have a case of wine. I'm good."

"A'ight, now," I warned. "You gonna be sitting up in there drunk and eating cat food."
"Yuck," she said.
"Yuck is right," I said. "Yuck, and nasty!"
"I made some black-eye peas and rice."
"No, that won't do. You can't heat that stuff up if the power go out."
"Oh. That's right," she said.
"Yes, I know I'm right!"

*momentary pause*

"There's a grocery store right across the street. I can see it from my window."
"Well," I said. "Go get some stuff. You don't know how long you gonna be stuck in the house."
"But I don't want any vienna sausages," she said.
"UGGGGGH! Celie!" I yelled.

(I know those in the cubicle area were like "What the world?")

"You don't have to get no vienna sausages. That's nasty anyway. Go get something. You don't know how long you will be stuck."

We semi-argued/discussed this.

"Go look out the window," I said. "Is the wind whipping? Is it raining?"
"No," she said after a moment.
"Well do me a favor. Go run over there for just 10 minutes. Just look around. You may see something you like. Just get a few things. 10 minutes."

She agreed to this. Honestly, I thought she was like we all are when we get in from travel: just want to sit down and chill for a minute. And go to sleep.

Or have a glass of wine.

"Wine and cat food! Wine and kibble!" I hollered a few times.

Just to make sure she would take her behind to the store.

Before we hung up I asked her to give me her home phone number again. I had a new cell phone and had lost most numbers. I only had her cell number because we had been texting back and forth.

She has this awful rotary home phone. She dialed my cell phone from that number... and set her cell phone next to the rotary phone. "Listen to this," she said.

And I had to hear the "Click, click, click" of the rotary phone dialing. I swear, I haven't heard that since the early eighties.

"Would you stop that?! Dang!" I yelled.
She laughed.

"I will call you when this over. Please go to the store. And charge up everything. Everything you got. Iphone, Ipad. Everything!"

"Okay," she said.

We hung up. I like talking to her. We have hilarious conversations. You would think we were cousins or something. You don't want me to talk about our writing craft convos. I call with some question, try to argue her down when she gives the answer, then I have to admit that she is right after I go back and do what she says. LOL.

I tried calling when the storm was about over, but my calls went straight to voicemail.

I waited a couple of days. I finally reached her. And we talked about what happened with the storm.

She was on a nonflooding side of town. But her power went out, and she decided to get to a hotel.

"It got cold, Nettie," she said. "It was cold! Had to get up out of here."

But you know what? She wasn't as concerned about herself as she was for her friend. You see, her friend had just had major surgery. And I tell you, weathering a storm is a hard thing when you are suppose to be recovering.

Tayari had already been helping out and doing things, like taking food to her friend.  The friend's mother had come down to take care of her. Tayari was thinking of ways to help out.

The mother had left. And the storm had arrived. We had a long conversation about them making it up the road to a hotel. And about how they scored a room, and all they had to do. Her major thing was to make sure that her friend was alright. And safe. And able to rest in a warm place.

Tayari and I are alike. We will work hard to help folks, but sometimes we wish we had that extra help. I didn't know she thought about things like that.

"But when it was all said and done," she said, after we had talked about it all, "I went home and wrote about it in my gratitude journal. I was thankful I had the strength to do what I needed to do for us."

That made such a HUGE impact on me.

Why?

I hear more complaining than thanksgiving and gratefulness from people these days. It reminded me to be thankful in all things. It helped me to understand that even if I can't do much for my friends and loved ones, I can do something positive and helpful in the midst of any situation.

I have learned this from her over the years. Look, she has taken time to take me under her wing writing-wise... whether I am surly or receptive. LOL.

But it was an important conversation. When I hung up with her, and was satisfied that she was all good, I promised myself that I would crank out my old gratitude journal. I remember at one time purposing to write one sentence a day in there, but after a few weeks, I found myself writing a full page here and there about things I was thankful for that happened that very day.

And I realized great things happen everyday... even when we are conditioned to whine and complain.

There is always something to be thankful for.

Right now, my friend and blogger The Green-Eyed Bandit has formed a "Forever Grateful" page on Facebook, where people post what they are grateful for on a daily basis, where the theme is "As we get back to our daily routines, remember to make it a routine to be grateful for all things big and small."

We can find something in our lives for which to be thankful. And you know what I like? When I meditate on those things, it tends to drown out the negative. The negative loses its power. The negative isn't allowed to rent space in my brain. There is only room at the mental inn for the positive.

Gratitude must be practiced and constantly kept in mind.  Until it becomes a habit. Until it becomes routine.

So thanks, Tayari. Our conversations have a positive affect on me.  You continue to be a formidable asset to me in many ways. You reminded me of what was truly important.
More than you will ever know.