Monday Food for Thought: Knowing Your Options

I came across this information a few weeks ago. It was part of a sermon on dealing with conflict and difficult people. I wrote it down on the back of an envelope, so it's a tad bit cryptic, but I thought it was interesting.

What to do when dealing with difficult people (conflict resolution):

1. Demand that THEY grow up. Sometimes you are dealing with immature people. Hallmarks of immaturity are selfishness and egocentricity.

2. Demand of YOURSELF that you grow up. A major part of this is that you learn to pick and choose your battles wisely. Do not waste your time arguing and fighting battles unless they threaten your destiny or personal convictions.

3. Demand that THEY move on.

4. Demand of YOURSELF that you move.

The bottom line is that you always have options.


My thoughts on this...

I like that last line:

The bottom line is that you always have options.

And I don't know if people understand that. I myself didn't understand that until I hit my 30s. Up until then there was always this goal of being accepted by people. I am the direct opposite these days: I only want genuine relationships... or nothing at all. Take the drama and conflict somewhere else.

It's alright for me to feel that way.

Afterall... There are 7 billion people walking this earth. I only need a decent handful in my life. I know I can't please everyone. And everyone can't please me. I accept that.

The points above resonated with me. They point to the fact that I have options. I don't have to be held emotionally hostage by anyone. And no one should be held emotionally hostage by me.

In any case, it points to the issue of things having to change. I know people who have been in conflict with the same folks for some 30 to 40 years... most of their lives, really. 

That's a long long time. A long time to be going through mess with people. Part of me admires people that can continuously go through a lot. Even though they are exasperated, they are long suffering. I just don't have that character trait, man. I am a champion of #4... I demand of myself that I move on. Period.  Now, I spend a lot of time thinking about whether I am being selfish or wrong. And if I can't figure it out, I move on.

But I thought that was interesting. I wanted to post that, just in case I lose my handy envelope.

You have to admit that any of the above options go a long way to resolving conflict.