Workplace Funnies: "This Candy"

So... I'd been wailing all last week at the workplace, much to my boss' dismay.  And I hollered whenever she was within ear shot. Especially when she got the notion to leave her office and wonder all about the lab.  And when I was in my cubicle, I'd stand up and crane my neck to see if her office door was open.

If it was, I would scurry over there if her door was open, and slide into the chair in front of her desk.


"My knee hurt! I fell and my knee hurt! You need to let me go home. I need to be sitting on the couch in my panties with my feet up, sipping fresh cool lemonade and watching Judge Judy and Dr. Phil!"

*ladylee wails hard*

*ladylee jumps up and walks like Frankenstein*

*boss kicks the hard eye roll*

She kicked me out of her office, and sent me over to the Director's office.

I leaned against the doorjamb of the Director's office. (And she peered at me curiously because she know I don't fool with management. She knew I was coming with some ol' bull...)

"Hey listen. I fell last weekend. Hook me up with some of that administrative leave. I feel okay, I suppose as I am at 99%, but I think I can be 100% if I can just lay down at home. Please help me."

She stared at me, her lips pursed. "How about you use your sick leave."

I wasn't down with that. I have 800 hours of sick leave. "Okay, well listen. Give me some of that family leave."

(I have asked for family leave to deal with that Oldcat Oscar. That didn't go over too well.)

"That comes out your sick leave."

I decided I didn't feel like talking to her anymore.

Let's just say my wails fell on deaf ears. And I have been forced to continue working.

So around lunchtime last Thursday, I wanted to sit down and have my salad. I also had a little soup. It is collard green and black eye pea soup from the Whole Foods and it is quite tasty. Somebody grand mama must work off up in the kitchen. Yes it is. It's so good that you eat something like that out of real bowl. With a real spoon.

That's what I planned to do.

We keep all of our snacks and real bowls and cups up in my cubicle mate The Cowgirl Cre's overhead cabinet.  I opened the cabinet to get a bowl and I saw this, something that wasn't there the day before:

I looked down at Cre, who was busily typing something on her computer.

I looked back up at the candy.

I turned and looked at the two calendars hanging on the wall of my cubicle to make sure it was July.

I looked back at the candy.

"What in the world?" I whispered.

"Princess Di brought that when you were out," Cre said.

I touched the bags. "Why on earth would anyone bring Christmas candy in July?"

Cre shrugged. "I don't know. All I know she brought it in."

"But this is July, and-"

I stopped mid-sentence. I grabbed the candy tightly in my hand and shook it Cre's direction.

"Praise Jesus," I whispered. "Praise him. I am thankful for this candy, this Christmas candy."

Cre laughed.

"Praised the Lawd for the candy."

I was serious.  You know how I feel about seed. Princess Di had sown some good seed.  I am working on being thankful. I have a food-for-thought coming up on that.

I snatched the bowl and threw the candy back up there and closed the cabinet.

Princess Di sits in my cubicle area behind me. She is a metals expert. You know me, I have brought in stuff and said to her "Look at this! You think this here got some lead in it?"  She has held it in her hand and peered at it curiously and we converse about it. And on top of that scientific talk, she brings in candy for my candy dish from time to time. She likes butterscotch, so I bring that in so she could have what she likes in the candy bowl too.

I walked over and put my hand around her shoulder and whispered "Did you steal that candy out the 90% off cart at the grocery store."

I laughed and walked off to go heat up my soup in the microwave.

But not before she said "No, I got it out of the 50% off cart."

We all laughed.

(Okay you had to be there to find it funny. But it was all hilarious to us).

So I will gladly throw this candy into the bowl, even though it's July.

I am thankful for this christmas candy. 

I rarely eat candy from there, as I bring it as a courtesy for everyone who stops by, but...

I will disturb the cubicle area something awful when I eat a piece, or even when I look over into the bowl.

I'm dreaming of a... whiiiiiiite Chrissssssstmassssss!"

(And you know I will do it, too. I will sang my heart out.)