The Last Day of the Year 2017

'Tis the last day of the year...

...The very last day of 2017.

I've been wanting to post, but I have been journalling alot, so I guess it is just not working out for posting right now.

I have had a wonderful holiday break! I tell you, I have gotten a LOT done, and I'm just taking a break right now from decluttering to sit down and watch my Church's watch night service.  And I have been pondering and reflecting over what my favorite things and the changes in my life over the past 365 days. And much has happened.

Favorite songs.  That's easy.  I liked Terrified by Childish Gambino



And I liked Late Nights and Heartbreaks by Hannah Williams and The Heartbreakers



Childish's CD has multiple Grammy nominations. And Hannah Williams' song was sampled by Jay-Z. That song was nominated also.

I hope they win. I will be surely watching.

Favorite CD.  There were several:

Rather You Than Me by Rick Ross

Damn by Kendrick Lamar
Laila's Wisdom by Rapsody
All Amerikkkan Bada$$ by Joey Bada$$
Forever is a Mighty Long time by Big Krit
Rags by Earthgang

Much rap there! I don't like much R&B unless it's from the 70s, 80s, or 90s.  Oh, I liked Childish Gambino's Awaken My Love, even though it is nominated for a rap Grammy this year. That is a R&B funk album, with no rap whatsoever on it. Hmm...


Favorite Books. I surely miss the days when I read upwards of 50 books a year. I may read 10 or roundabouts. I often wonder where I would be if I read as

Hunger: A Memoir of My Body by Roxane Gay.

The Queen of Black Hollywood by Jenifer Lewis.

Both of those books were PHENOMENAL. And they were made all the more special because I listened to them on audible. To hear these women read their memoirs in their own voices really moved me. They both were more vunerable and candid than I would ever allow myself to be, that's for sure. They were so good that I have bookmarked and listened to sections over and over.

Black women writing their memoirs with boldness.  Oh my.

It reminds me that we matter, and we have stories to tell...

Even our own painful life stories.

Favorite Quote.  Not a day goes by that I haven't thought about this particular quote. It is from yet another great book that I read last year.

This is a book of Toltec wisdom, and it was so chocked full of wisdom that it was hard to digest. I know it's a book that I may need to read several times just to get the full gist of it.
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But there was a passage I read that hit me hard, made me think. And I have thought about it every day since I read it.

"To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive- the risk to be alive and express what we really are. Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our lives trying to satisfy other people's demands. We have learned to live by other people's points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else."

That hit me like a brick. Of course I was like, well, I am my true self.

But that quote is like a magnifying glass, and it shines a light on everything.  Let's just say, I am FULLY aware of moments where I am not being my true self. And it's a struggle to understand that growing up, I was always punished for being my true self. So I see now that I am way much more aloof and to myself. I don't care for dealing with a lot of drama, strife, or the judgment of others. That is something of myself that I struggle with, and I am trying to find some sort of balance. Hmm...

The biggest fear is not death. The biggest fear is being our true self.

That is a bold statement. But oh so true.

That book dug deep into such issues, and it was an analysis of all the agreements we make in our hearts over the course of our lives, and how they need to be examined and changed.

That was a great book.

Favorite Events: My favorite events? There were two that I will forever and always remember.

1. Becoming a published author. You know I love to write. LOVED-ED it. And this year I had TWO stories published, one in Atlanta Noir and the other in Pens of the Piedmont. One was a dark twisted story, and the other was an inspirational/spiritual creative nonfiction piece. They were different as night and day to the point where I considered using a different pen name for each.

But you know what? Those stories were from me, from me being my true self. I write all over the spectrum. And all my stories flow freely from my heart and soul.

2. Birth of Nortorius J - 365 days ago I would have never thought I'd have a new nephew. Lo and behold, here comes my sister back from living abroad. And she's pregnant. This was the source of much conversation, and alas Justin is here/ And what a joy he is!

I have so much more to write concerning the year 2017, but I just hit on a few highlights.

This blog is going on 13 years old. And I have noticed that I am doing what I have done most of those years on New Years Eve: sitting here writing.

This is my happy happy place. I get a little criticism here and there for not moving to instagram, facebook, and twitter and the like. I am on all of those platforms, but I don't think in short 140 character bursts.  I think much of that has changed our brains. We are severely distracted and we have super short attention spans because of it all. I want to try to keep my mind active so I like writing long and being creative as possible.. And I have no thoughts whatsoever of stopping or doing something too much different than that.

So with that said, I have had a great year.

2017 has had it's ups and down, but I give the ups, the good, the power.

I look forward to a great 2018.

I hope your 2017 has been great.

I pray your 2018 will be great... on purpose.