The Last Day of the Year: 2018

Alas!

'Tis the last day of the year 2018.

2019 is but a few hours away. It is hard to believe that. I was just telling my best friend LadyTee today that when we were children, we were hollering about seeing the year 2000.

And here we are, some 19 years removed from the year 2000.

Wow.

And I have been pontificating and reflecting over the events of my life of the past year. I have been more concentrated on the last few months, as that is when much as happened. I got sick and had to be hospitalized. My mother spent a couple of months in the hospital. There has been much stress about how to help take care of her, and much stress concerning the failure of taking care of my own self and needs. I am learning balance is key. I am still trying to find that balance. And I am learning to not kick myself when I lose balance.

I rarely make goals. It's been years since I've said "In year such-a-such, I will do A, B, and C."

I made a few financial goals, the biggest one being pay off a second mortgage. I paid it off some 2 years early. It was some old balloon type craziness. I don't have to worry about that no more. GLORY. I met a few other financial goals.

My goals are always closer to being short term in nature. Little things. I make a list of about 10-20 things to do per day. So I have literally met THOUSANDS of small goals. And I think that is wonderful.

I think this year I had gotten a decent enough workout routine in the gym going, and that was a holdover goal from 2017. But I hurt my back, and I had to stop all that. That bothers me, as it was something I enjoyed. I have been on and off with the chiropractor. So I have ventured away from that. But that is about it. This has been a quiet year for the most part. I have been more concerned about working and keeping myself together. And I almost made it to the end of the year without much problems. Almost.

I am better now. Most importantly, I am thankful to see a new year. Perfectly healthy people began 2018, but did not live to see the year 2019. I am here to witness the dawn of a new year.

I have been more fascinated with and celebratory of the accomplishments of my friends. I have always rejoiced in the accomplishments of my friends. I not only have my own joy, but I have theirs, too.

One of my folks, S23, made a big move to another state, with a nice job. And she just closed on her house. What has fascinated me about this is that I remember when it was all just a thought in her mind. I remember when those goals of hers were written on a notecard. And it fascinated me to see those words jump off those notecards and manifest, in ways bigger than she could hope and pray for.

And I saw another one of my friends accomplish some mind blowing things: That doggone Tayari Jones' book American Marriage was selected by Oprah for her book club. Man, I was so happy, you would have thought it was MY book that had been selected. But, what has fascinated me about this is that I remember when it was all just a thought in her mind. I remember us talking on the phone all day, and she was telling me about how she'd overheard a convo at the mall. I didn't understand why she was all giddy about it.

My response was... "If you like it, I love it. Go head and write it, girl. You just remember to let me hold that first draft or whatever chapters you got."

I had to get to work on her EARLY. Get her mind right so she can send me a rough draft. The BEST thing in the world is sitting around minding my business, and an email from her saying, Here you go, Nettie, and there is an attachment. I have stopped working in the lab to go hide in a bathroom stall and read.

I see these types of things over and over again with my friends.

Just in these two examples, something pertinent was written above:

What has fascinated me about this is that I remember when it was all just a thought in her mind.

I am reminded, on this New Years Eve, that EVERYTHING begins with a seed. A seed looks like it isn't much, but it contains everything. It packs a punch.

No matter how old I get, that never gets away from me... Seeds. And a mere thought is a seed. Words spoken are seeds. Words (Goals) written on paper are seeds.

Seeds, seeds, seeds.

And that is what I go into this New Year thinking about: planting and tending to my seed. Whether I have a dump truck of seed, a handful of seed, or one seed in my hand. I need to plant that seed and do my best to tend to it.

And that is what I have always been thinking about. And I have understood it more by example in the past few years than ever.

And that's a good thing.

I hope you have had a great year, and that next year will be an even greater year.

I pray the seed, the thoughts in your mind, manifest in the best way ever!