Friday Freestyles. The Food-for-Thought Edition

Friday!!!

And it is Payday.

I am always happy for another Pay Day. Always.

Spontaneous Rant. You know, I don't even think I took time to imagine anything for a few minutes this morning like I usually do when I get paid. If you have noticed, I have a tendency to spend a few moments blowing my check in my mind on something interesting. But today there was none of that. I just paid my bills. Not in the mood for deep imagination today. Not when it is month FIVE of quarantining, and teleworking from home. And I am still not sure when we are going back to work. The whole "volunteer voluntarily" to come back... well, they can kick a sack of rocks with that one. My convos with coworkers who have worked a few days out of this whole time have revealed that no more than 5% of people are doing this "voluntarily volunteer" thing. So I am not the only one who is like... bump that.

And we get emails, albeit sparingly, about who will be at work for receiving service on some equipment....

I don't even answer.

Humph.

I may or may not be wrong for that. But I have been with my current job for 19 years. I have sacrificed- gone in on the weekends, worked extra long hours, been talked to and treated any kind of way... and I have decided right now, for once in my life, especially during these obscure and dire times, to put myself first. To make sure I put my own life first. Period.

Well... enough of that Friday mini-rant, food for thought.

But it is just what's clouding my mind now. There's a hint of guilt for not going in. But the proverbial wall of guilt is one foot tall. So I force myself to step over that sh**.

(Excuse my language)

Quote of the Week. Speaking of guilt, my pastor gave a good sermon on dealing with guilt. I got some good notes, and I need to go back and watch the sermon again. But one quote struck me, for its simplicity mostly:

Guilt is the strongest robber of personal peace.

Ain't' that the truth, tho?

He went on to discuss ways of rooting a guilty conscience out of your life. There were about 10 things (I only caught 8 for some reason. Hence the reason I need to go back and watch the sermon again), but one of the points was to write your feelings about your situation down on paper (basically, journal about it), and then just tear it up. It's seen as a symbolic gesture.

But I read a book a few years ago about scientific studies related to this. In a nutshell, it was determined that it is important to write all your feelings out, as it is a confession of sorts. And what I found to be most interesting is that it has a profound physiological affect on the body, where it boosts the immune system. Now, that is something good to know.

Anyway, I think about that a lot. I journal much, especially during these confusing COVID times, and I have journalled anyway all of my life, since it is extremely rare for me to express my feelings to friends and the like.

But I do agree with the statement of guilt being a robber of peace. Where there is guilt, there is a lack of peace of mind.

Hmm.

Book of the Week. So last week, I think I talked about Brit Bennett's book, The Vanishing Half. I decided to look her up, and see whatever else she has written. So this week, I listened to the audible version of the one other book she has written, The Mothers.

Now, I must admit... I enjoyed this book MUCH more than The Vanishing Half. My book club folks didn't really enjoy The Vanishing Half. The ending was... meh. And I myself enjoyed the writing style (I read more for style than anything else)... but I found myself thinking, where is this going?

Not so with The Mothers. I liked it more. The Mothers refers to the Mothers of a church. I think this more relates to the traditional black church. Anyway, it is a story about some folks who are members of the church, but the book gets over into their personal lives and secret places. And the Mothers give commentary on what they think is going on with said congregants.

You know how church gossip goes. Humph.

And it's one of the reasons I don't like traditional church. I am a church member, but I ain't the one you gonna see at any extracurricular church functions. NO MA'AM. And that's just me. I am very private, and I don't need no one speculating or getting into my business and vice versa.  And I am a difficult personality (I have promised myself that I will stop saying that about myself, but it is what it is), and I'm an introvert, so this can become a problem with "church people" real quick. I just find that the older I get, the more I just want to be ME. So this book made me think of all of that.

So this book was a deep dive into ALL of those types of issues. It was a fantastic listen, and one of the few books that, upon listening to the audible version, that I wished I would have sat down and read the hardback. It was that good of a book indeed. I would suggest it to my book club, but they are finicky. They didn't care much for The Vanishing Half, so they may not read another book by Ms. Bennett for a minute.

Song of the Week. This has been such a slow music week for me, so nothing just jumps out at me. But right now, I am doing a TON of writing, and certain songs relate to whatever I am writing. One I was talking about with a member on my reading team is "Affair" by Cherrelle.



That is a GOOD song. As a matter of fact, the Affair album, released in 1986, is one of my all time favorite albums. It is early Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis production work, pre-Janet Jackson. I think that is why I like it so much.

But, the first line of the novella I've been working on since late February is...

Monique use to get all bent out of shape about cheating on her husband.
But not anymore.

HMMMMMM... Wonder what that's all about?

LOL.

I don't care to write long form, but I do so from time to time because I can cull short stories from a longer work. And I have counted some ten short stories. One of my writing instructors once said to our class about me that "LadyLee has this wonderful skill of writing long form and carving short stories out of that long story."

That made me feel good, that someone recognizes this immense talent and skill of mine. And it is something that I have been believing about myself for the longest.

And we should feel positive things about ourselves.

On purpose. As much as possible.

This was a LONG post, laced with some food-for-thought, wasn't it. That is what I get for not posting all week.

It has been quite helpful. Wonderfully cathartic as always. This has been a true snapshot of my mental.

And I declare it at the same time has boosted my immune system.

I declare it!

LOL