The Last Day of the Year 2022

 Alas!

The last day of 2022 has arrived. 

And the way things are going in this world, it is a miracle to make it to this day. I say that when we still have covid and mass shootings going on to the point where we have become pretty much desensitized to it all. So it's a good thing to make it this far. And I have to remind myself daily, that so many more good events happen than the bad. And it just seems like the "bad" takes over because that is what gets magnified.

Alas, made it through all of that. 

I like to look at the mental, physical, and spiritual of my year. I usually do long posts on each, but since I haven't been posting much, I will just touch on some of these things here, mostly for my own personal reasons. So good to be able to look back year after year and see what has changed. So good to see where I need to grow, and what I have conquered. 

Physical. This year has been interesting. Up until mid-February, I had lost about 70 pounds. That was such a big accomplishment for me. I had even gotten up to walking between three to five miles a day, at least five to six times per week. I was the strongest I had been in years. 

Then I banged my knee. I was stooping down to pick up something off the floor, and my knee hit the ground. The bad thing about this is that I have osteoarthritis, and that exasperated it. So I was hobbled for a couple of months. Then I went to an orthopedic surgeon and got an injection. And I was alright, where that summer I could walk a couple of miles a day. We figured out I had sciatica, and that has caused some issues. For the past three months, I have had an ankle problem. They figured out that I didn't have a bone stress or messed up ligaments or tendons. It is moreso a sciatica nerve issue. 

Ugh. Okay. 

So, the big thing now is to walk through the pain. I have a pain medication prescription (tramadol), but ooh child, I do not want to fool around with that. I ain't trying to addicted to no craziness! No. 

I have managed to walk a mile last week without much of an issue. I think I will work on that again, starting in the New Year. I have gained about 15 of my pounds back due to such drastically reduced activity, and I can feel it. I cannot stand the feeling. So the goal is to get back on track. I will walk regularly again. I will celebrate a pain-free One mile like it is one hundred miles. 

Mental. I think a lot. I mean, that is what working from home does to me. I have been working from home since March 2020. I have worked onsite around five time in these past two years. I needed to go in so I could see how a return to work would look, i.e., how to get to work, how it would affect me emotionally and psychologically, etc. But most of what I do is mere paperwork, and it is easier to stay at home. 

Alone.

But I have been on my job 24.5 years. I not only have coworkers, but some of those coworkers are friends. Sure, we have technology and all, but I have to admit that I miss my friends. Ones I work with, and my years-long friends in my everyday life. It takes a psychological toll here and there. Thank goodness it is not overwhelming, though. 

It is the "alone" part that I have had to adjust to. I miss my friends, and I am working on staying away from having covid. So I have had to manage alone. And as a result, like I said... I think a lot. 

I really miss my life as it existed 40 years ago, when I was little and the older members of my family were alive.  These days, our family does not get together, so it is what it is. It makes holidays a bit tough, in that I just want them to pass. But I must admit that some of the holidays I have had alone in the past three years of pandemic have been some of the most memorable ever. And I am so thankful for that. 

I think what is most mentally frightening is being afraid of the future at times, not knowing what the future brings. Just hoping that I can support myself, not have financial issues, etc. I have broken some 25-year-old rules I have set up for myself in these matters over the past year, and I have to work on getting back to following my own rules. So that has been  a focus as of late that I am working on now, and on into 2023.

This has been an awful writing year for me. I think it is because I am a bit perturbed by the submission process and how silly it is. Yes, I have been submitting some writing this year. I think I have to get over the mental chaos of it all. My stories are precious to me, and for some reason, I like keeping them to myself. I don't like just putting it out there. I have to get over that mental hurdle. 

I do need to get past some of the anxiety I sometimes experience. Much of that comes from watching the news. How can I not help it? So much is going on, and for goodness sake, I am hoping to turn the television on one day and see an announcement of covid being over! (I can dream, can't I?) But what's crazy is that all those news reports... they are seeds. I need better seeds. Seeds of hope. Seeds that are good for my mind.

Spiritual. You know, the best times of my day are when I wake up and finally roll out of bed and get myself together, and go downstairs (depending on whether I sleep upstairs in a spare bedroom, as that has been my preference for 30% of the year... My master bedroom is downstairs), and it is just... quiet. 

No TV on, none of that. Just pure quiet. I may take that time to pick up whatever crochet project I am working on, and spend time praying. That is such a great beginning to my day. This does not happen too often. Oh my goodness, where would I be if this was going on daily?

Likewise, my other favorite time of the day is before I shut everything down and head for bed. The little swatch of time is prayer time also. I am so thankful to have completed another day of life, whether I have had a very productive day or not. 

Something else that has helped me spiritually is that during the pandemic my pastor has a daily 30 minute encouragement and confessions time on Facebook. During this time, I am listening and writing out my itinerary/to do list for the day. It has really helped my heart and gives me something to think about. 

This has been a year of A LOT of answered prayer. If I wrote about it all, it would take me several days to write it all out. I tend to write about it in my private journals. I like to keep a record of such.. and I can go back and read it all when I get anxious or worried about things. 

But that is that. Those are my thoughts. 

I don't blog much, as blogging is not the thing to do these days. But I need to for my own personal reasons. I can't tell you how many times how easy it has been to come over here and grab a picture or an old blog post for someone. This blog has been such a treasure trove for me. 

And it was good for my mental to take a snapshot of what's going on with me now, so I can pinpoint where I can improve. This is all over the place, and I am not going to go back and edit. That will take all night, lol. But it is a survey of what's on my mind... right here, right now. 

So I am happy to say goodbye to 2022. You have been good to me. 

VERY good.

I can hope for as much in 2023.