Fairy Tale Food

I came across a brand of cormeal mix recently that I absolutely LOVE: Logan Turnpike Mill Cormeal Mix.

I have a problem with making cornbread from cornmeal: sometimes it comes out right, other times, it is jacked up. The Logan Turnpike Mill brand comes out just right. You CANNOT mess it up.

It is more expensive than Jiffy, at about $3.50 a bag, but for someone like me who rarely eats cornbread, well, it lasts awhile. One bag affords 4 pans of cornmeal.

Anyway, my sister Kentucky wanted to make cornbread chicken and mushroom dressing for Thanksgiving. She wanted to know where I bought the cornmeal mix that I was using, because the cornbread was very good, better than usual. I told her that I bought it at the Dekalbs Farmers Market. She said she would stop by and get a couple of bags.

Kentucky did her grocery shopping and laid everything out on the dining room table.

I wasn't going to cook... only supervise, and keep the kitchen clean.

Well, I picked up her bags of cornmeal mix, and noticed that they felt a little rough... I didn't think much of it. Afterall, this is stonemilled product, so maybe this was a rough batch...

Then I read the front of the package:

A package of cornmeal mix from my refrigerator is on the left.

The package bought by Kentucky is on the right.

This broad messed around and bought 2 bags of PORRIDGE.

What the...?

Well, it felt wierd enough, like a sack of grits. That explained it.

I called out to my sister.

"Kentucky!"

She was upstairs in her room. She came out, leaned over the banister. "What?"

"Uh... is Hansel and Gretel stopping by for Thanksgiving?"

She frowned up, and walked to the top of the stairs. "What are you talking about?"

"Is Goldilocks coming over to hang out with us?"

"Lisa, what are you talking about?" she said, as she started down the steps.

"You bought Porridge, girl," I said.

"No I didn't. I bought the cornbread. "I bought the type you said you bought."

"Porridge!" I said.

Kentucky took the bag from my hands.

"You have to read the front of the bag, Kentucky." I pointed at the size 12 font stamped black letters on the front. "Apparently, they use the same bag for everything, then stamp what's in it."
She frowned. "I guess I'll take it back."

I started singing hard, to her dismay...

"Itsy-bitsy spider, Hansel and Gretel, Goldilocks and the Three bears, and Little Miss Muffet are all coming to dinner!"

I sang this bootleg verse a few times as I twirled around the living room to my hearts content.

*Kentucky looks at me like I've lost my mind, then disappears back upstairs.*

Kentucky returned the sacks of porridge to the store. She made a fine pan of dressing with the cornmeal mix.

That's not really the point of this post.

My thing is (and I wonder if anyone else feels the same as me)...

I thought "Porridge" was some mess that was straight made up in fairy tale land.

I couldn't really figure out who ate porridge, as I don't read my fairytales everyday. I knew Goldilocks almost got her tail busted over it, but I am sure Hansel and Gretel, Little Miss Muffet or somebody else had been slurping on it, too.

I knew that I'd never heard of such. I remembered that there had to be more than one fairy tale with somebody getting down on some porridge.

I remember thinking whoever ate it was dirt poor. I wondered why the 3 bears got mad over some porridge. Wasn't like Goldilocks had taken a piece of fried chicken or pizza. Hmmm. They were poor, and this "porridge" stuff was all they had.

(Yes, I thought much too deeply about mundane things when I was a child).

Anyway, the card contained in the bag said that it was a mixture of cracked wheat, ground rice, and ground corn.

Sounds to me like porridge is a mix of all the staples in the house...

To top it off, the website makes a lovely suggestion...

"Have it for supper as a side dish by adding sauteed onios, green peppers and roasted garlic and cover with brown gravy."

**crickets**

Eww. That just sounds... Yuck.

Okay, they took it a bit far with that.

I don't know, I just found it all strange. I thought "porridge" was straight-up fairy tale food.

Apparently not.

I learn something new everyday...

And now you've learned something new for your weekend.

With that said...

Have a good weekend... on purpose :)

Wordless Wednesdays

Thanksgiving Feast Pics

I thought I would post some Thanksgiving Food Pics today.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I should've posted these last week.

Hush up now. Ya'll will be alright.

(Besides, you never know when they will come in handy for some virtual parties.)

My sister Kentucky had been hollering hard about cooking for Thanksgiving. She went to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving last year, and realized that she had no leftovers the next day. So she wanted to cook this year.

(No going over to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving this year. We heard through the grapevine that our Uncle Tweet was cooking for all his "substance-abusing" friends. Ain't NOTHING worse than having to keep an eye on one's keys, purse AND car.)

She didn't bake a turkey. She purchased a fried turkey somewhere down in Buckhead.




Tom Turkey looks a little needy. It was a good turkey, though. I prefer a baked turkey (unless it is fried by someone's Lousiana uncle or somebody like that) but heck, she bought it, and that was cool!

By the way, it seems that the new trend now is the "Turducken". Has anyone heard of that? Well, it is a turkey, stuffed with a deboned duck, which in turn is stuffed with a deboned chicken.


That looks a hot mess. Somebody must've been smoking something when they came up with that idea. They run about 85 bucks prepared. That is way too much to be paying for a piece of meat.

Kentucky baked a ham.


It was good. We have a TON of it left, and I am not a big pork eater. I am bringing some of that to work tomorrow for my cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre. Heck, I might just set up a platter over in the break room.

Now, the ONLY thing I baked was the macaroni and cheese, because I was taking it to someone's house. I baked 2: one for home, and one for my BFF LadyTee's fam.


I grated up an old loaf of french bread for the topping, but I could NOT get the top to brown. It was ready, all crunchy and what not, but wouldn't brown. I don't know what was up with that. LadyTee's family killed it anyway. And I was particularly disturbed when I had to hear from her man... "N****, how you just gonna bring one pan of macaroni and cheese???!"

I thought it would be enough. It was all gone by the next morning. We still have plenty at home. HUMPH.

Kentucky's collard greens were off the chain! She should've made more!


There ain't NOTHING like a good pot of greens flavored with smoked turkey. NOTHING. For me, this was the best part of Thanksgiving.

Last but not least, she made some chicken and mushroom dressing.


It was very good and quite mushroomy. It should've been, since she bought every doggone can of soup in the store.


(Kentucky, did it take all that? GEEZ).

(I have a funny related story about the dressing, which I will tell later this week.)

She cooked alllll day Wednesday, and for a couple of hours on Thanksgiving day (I had to hip her a couple of years ago to that being the right way to do things, lol).

I supervised her, from my spot on the sofa, lol.

We had a good Thanksgiving feast. Very good.

And I hope you did too.

Monday Morning Ramblings, Part 26291

Good Monday Mernting, Party People...

More like Good Monday Moaning.

I know we all ate too much. We all need to be burped. We all need to drink plenty of water, eat plenty of fruit and vegetables (for that fiber, you know).

... And we all need a good laxative, or two.

Time to get back in the saddle, ya'll... Get back on track! LOL

"Staycation". My 5 day "Stay-cation" was nice. Had a very nice thanksgiving, and I got A LOT of rest (I will post on that tomorrow, I suppose). I meant to get a few things done around the house, but oh well... it's all good. I didn't participate in Black Friday activities. The Christmas Budget is $100.00. So I better plan very well.

I spoke with the LBeezy this weekend for an hour, which is always a good thing, because that chick cracks me up. I am still trying to contact the Queen of Lurk City, but my goodness, finding her is like looking for Waldo. (I think she has handlers now, and I don't want them cussing me out. I don't want to catch a beat-down, either).

Ah, the life of a fan is hard one, lol... I will keep trying. She better be careful, though. She's gonna jump in a taxi, and I'm going to be the driver! LOL!

I've been reading my book club book, The Shack, which is REALLY good. Thank goodness, because I haven't been intranced by the last several book club books.

I didn't get ANY writing done, despite having done a little longhand writing a couple of weeks ago. I have NO idea why I am being trifling in that aspect, but I managed to do much thinking, and I made a decision on what stories I want to mail out this month. So I guess that's a good thing, isn't it?

Monday. Fortunately, I won't be going to work today. I have a doctor appointment. My doctor is leaving the country in a couple of weeks. (That woman KNOWS how to go on vacation. I hear some of her fascinating European and Asian tales while she gives me my monthly checkup). We all better get our butts in there and see her, basically. Because once she bounces, she BOUNCES hard.

I HATE Monday appointments. Let's just say, this is the day that uh... how can I say this and be politcally correct? Hmmm... This is the day the uh, poor working class whites come in for their appointments. My doctor moved to the deep southside of the Metropolitan ATL area (Henry county, down that way), and this seems to be the clientele. They all get together and come in on Mondays.

I have an interesting post about stuff I've overheard in that place on a Monday if I can figure out how to write it.

So let's just say I prefer a good Tuesday appointment. I have another one next Tuesday, so that is cool.

Anyway, on to other random stuff.

Best posts of November: Heavy on my Mind by Aunt Jackie. Aunt Jackie reflects here on the death of her sister. What a moving post. I don't know if I could've written anything like this.

Another great post, by Ol' Terry from his Cheap Seats: Lessons in a Tear, about his lunch with a homeless woman name Christie. Terry has such a good heart. I want to be like you when I grow up someday, Terry!

Craziest post I read in November: Urban Myth by the Infamous La. This post tripped me out. See, this is the type of stuff that incites domestic violence. HUMPH. (And it's a reminder to google yourself periodically to see what's up.)

Quotes of the month: One from La's Urban Myth, linked above:

"But whether we like it or not, it's the things we hide that detail who we really are. It's our silences, not our words, that shade people's perception of us, add dimension. If the things we don't say are a shade of gray, consider our secrets the long shadows we cast."

That's some deep off the pages ish right there. I am a terribly silent and to-myself type of girl. Folks make some assumptions that have me scratching my head, but that explains a few of the troubles and run-ins I've had this year. Hmm... I may or may not write about that.

Anyway, I hope to post everyday this week. We will see.

Have a good week... on purpose.

Happy Birthday, Queen!

*LadyLee stands up, and bows so hard that her lips kiss the ground*

I would like to wish Your Highness, the Queen, a Happy Happy Birthday!!!

*LadyLee falls prostrate to the ground*

No, not THAT Queen. Not the Queen of England.

I'm talking about the Queen of Lurk City, the main lurker on my blog, Miss Celie, Tayari Jones!!!!!


Happy Birthday Tayari!!!

Now, I'll keep this brief, as there are Tayari shrines scattered all throughout the House of LadyLee...

Miss Celie turns 38 today.

Miss Celie, I want you to know, that I have been 38 for 9 months... and honey, 38 is GREAT!!

Miss Celie got a REALLY nice birthday present, early no less. She was laying in bed, minding her own bizness, when she got a phone call with some really good news. But she had to keep it to herself until it was officially announced.

You know me... I tried to pry it out of her.

"Lee, something great happened!"
"What is it, Celie?"
"Can't tell you, Lee."
"Why?"
"They say we can't tell"
"You can tell me. I'm your number one fan!"
"NO."
"Come on, Miss Celie."
"No, you'll have to wait for the press release."
"Just tell me, girl! I won't tell nobody!"
"No."
"Come on, girl!
"NO!"

*Lee proceeds to have temper tantrum. Miss Celie keeps her mouth shut.*

Well, that Botanical Chick, Carleen Brice, hipped me to a press release. Turns out Miss Celie was chosen as one of 2008 United States Artist.

Now she coulda told me. I don't know what the hell that is. If it ain't science related, I don't know what's going on. She KNOW that.

HUMPH.

The interesting thing about the United States Artist prize: (I'm sure she gets a nice lovely plaque, with her name incscribed lovingly in gold).

It comes with a $50,000.00 unrestricted grant.

That's cash money ya'll... And "unrestricted" means she can smoke it up if she want to, i.e., do whatever the heck she wants to do with it.

Now if THAT ain't a good birthday gift, I don't know what is.

I might tare something UP if I come across that much bread.

Really though.

Now, I sent her a couple of small gifts. Nothing matches that type of bread, but you KNOW the #1 fan had to send her something.

Of course I sent her a card. (Don't know if she even got it yet...WHATEVER! I am posting it anyway.

I also sent her a couple of personalized journals, modeled here by my work group Super Hero, The Infamous Hen-Dog.




(Uh, these pictures were in exchange for the boy asking me to babysit his baby girl Chayse (see last two posts). I tried to get him to take the shirt off, but he was hollering about he had to go get shaved up. HUMPH).

Yeah, Lee know how to pimp a dude. LOL!!!

Anyway, I sent some little post it notes and pads with a "T" monogram.

Hope you like that, gal!!

(I almost sent you a homemade Obama Church fan, but I decided against that, lol).

Anyway, I want to wish you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I am the #1 fan... And when Ol' Tayari blows up, I'll be standing there yelling

"I TOLD YA'LL. She the MAN!!"

I've been trying to call you on your house phone, Girl!! I know I'm a groupie, but you better pick up! (Or at least clean up your voice mail! GEEZ.)

So, you know, we should eat... You know how I do.

But, I know we're all still stuffed from Thanksgiving dinners.

(In other words, you negroes better eat before you show your face up in the House of LadyLee).

So we will do this like the Queen of England would do it... all civilized like.

We're just gonna have an "Afternoon Tea"... LadyLee style.

We're having a little coffee...

And I sip on that good stuff, the $26 per pound Hawaiian Kona blend and Kenyan Special Roast. (The rest of ya'll will get the Tasters Choice instant that I got on sale.)

We're having a nice homemade sweet potato cheesecake...




Yeah, that's what's hot!

Tayari, year 37 was a good year for you. That trip to Ghana this month, shoot, I know that made your whole year! And you're off to Uganda at the beginning of the year.

Oh the stories you will tell!

And I hope your next novel, The Silver Girl, will be out!

Yep, year 38 is going to be truly great!

So Tayari, don't know what you're getting into today, but it is your day!

Make it a good one!

And oh yeah, Tayari has the running list of people in her blog family who publish stories, win awards, publish novels and what-not.

I have alerted her to a couple of scientific publications I've had this year, but of course, it ain't enough. It has to be LITERARY related.

HUMPH.

I'm going to make the list during YOUR 38th year, Miss Celie! Watch! I'm going to publish a story, and you'll be the first one to know.

*Lee jumps from seat and pump fist in the air*

Yeah... really though.

Happy birthday, Honey Chile!!

From your number one fan for life, That Oldgirl LadyLee.