Fairy Tale Food

I came across a brand of cormeal mix recently that I absolutely LOVE: Logan Turnpike Mill Cormeal Mix.

I have a problem with making cornbread from cornmeal: sometimes it comes out right, other times, it is jacked up. The Logan Turnpike Mill brand comes out just right. You CANNOT mess it up.

It is more expensive than Jiffy, at about $3.50 a bag, but for someone like me who rarely eats cornbread, well, it lasts awhile. One bag affords 4 pans of cornmeal.

Anyway, my sister Kentucky wanted to make cornbread chicken and mushroom dressing for Thanksgiving. She wanted to know where I bought the cornmeal mix that I was using, because the cornbread was very good, better than usual. I told her that I bought it at the Dekalbs Farmers Market. She said she would stop by and get a couple of bags.

Kentucky did her grocery shopping and laid everything out on the dining room table.

I wasn't going to cook... only supervise, and keep the kitchen clean.

Well, I picked up her bags of cornmeal mix, and noticed that they felt a little rough... I didn't think much of it. Afterall, this is stonemilled product, so maybe this was a rough batch...

Then I read the front of the package:

A package of cornmeal mix from my refrigerator is on the left.

The package bought by Kentucky is on the right.

This broad messed around and bought 2 bags of PORRIDGE.

What the...?

Well, it felt wierd enough, like a sack of grits. That explained it.

I called out to my sister.

"Kentucky!"

She was upstairs in her room. She came out, leaned over the banister. "What?"

"Uh... is Hansel and Gretel stopping by for Thanksgiving?"

She frowned up, and walked to the top of the stairs. "What are you talking about?"

"Is Goldilocks coming over to hang out with us?"

"Lisa, what are you talking about?" she said, as she started down the steps.

"You bought Porridge, girl," I said.

"No I didn't. I bought the cornbread. "I bought the type you said you bought."

"Porridge!" I said.

Kentucky took the bag from my hands.

"You have to read the front of the bag, Kentucky." I pointed at the size 12 font stamped black letters on the front. "Apparently, they use the same bag for everything, then stamp what's in it."
She frowned. "I guess I'll take it back."

I started singing hard, to her dismay...

"Itsy-bitsy spider, Hansel and Gretel, Goldilocks and the Three bears, and Little Miss Muffet are all coming to dinner!"

I sang this bootleg verse a few times as I twirled around the living room to my hearts content.

*Kentucky looks at me like I've lost my mind, then disappears back upstairs.*

Kentucky returned the sacks of porridge to the store. She made a fine pan of dressing with the cornmeal mix.

That's not really the point of this post.

My thing is (and I wonder if anyone else feels the same as me)...

I thought "Porridge" was some mess that was straight made up in fairy tale land.

I couldn't really figure out who ate porridge, as I don't read my fairytales everyday. I knew Goldilocks almost got her tail busted over it, but I am sure Hansel and Gretel, Little Miss Muffet or somebody else had been slurping on it, too.

I knew that I'd never heard of such. I remembered that there had to be more than one fairy tale with somebody getting down on some porridge.

I remember thinking whoever ate it was dirt poor. I wondered why the 3 bears got mad over some porridge. Wasn't like Goldilocks had taken a piece of fried chicken or pizza. Hmmm. They were poor, and this "porridge" stuff was all they had.

(Yes, I thought much too deeply about mundane things when I was a child).

Anyway, the card contained in the bag said that it was a mixture of cracked wheat, ground rice, and ground corn.

Sounds to me like porridge is a mix of all the staples in the house...

To top it off, the website makes a lovely suggestion...

"Have it for supper as a side dish by adding sauteed onios, green peppers and roasted garlic and cover with brown gravy."

**crickets**

Eww. That just sounds... Yuck.

Okay, they took it a bit far with that.

I don't know, I just found it all strange. I thought "porridge" was straight-up fairy tale food.

Apparently not.

I learn something new everyday...

And now you've learned something new for your weekend.

With that said...

Have a good weekend... on purpose :)