December 31, 2019... The Last Day of the Year

I cannot believe that the last time I posted something was on December 6, 2019.

It's not like folks are reading anything, for the most part. Yes people do. But we are all on Twitter, Facebook and the Gram. I have accounts on all those platforms, but I go on mostly for the news and things like that. I rarely read folks postings. I like to write long and be a bit more creative, so those platforms do not suit me. And besides, what we are reading is the "silver lining" to people's lives. (I will let you figure that statement out).

I cannot believe that this is the last day of 2019, though.

I am about 3/4ths of the way through my 2 week vacation, and all I have been doing is contemplating my year. I usually have such grandiose dreams concerning the time off I take at the end of each year. This year, in early November, I had some 160 hours of leave I needed to use or risk losing it at the beginning of the year. So with that said, I haven't worked much during the month of December. There were a handful of half days and, between thanksgiving and Christmas, some 3 full weeks off. It was poor planning on my part. I have a ton of sick leave, and was using it for the many medical appointments I had this year.

I was using my sick leave for something else too... helping take care of mother.

"Take care" doesn't seem quite the right words. Me and my siblings are NOT medical professionals and not trained care givers. So we have been basically trying to figure out things as we go. We've been basically flying by the seat of our pants. And that's not what's best for her.

My mother has had a series of strokes and heart attacks. She has lost a leg due to diabetes, and her other leg is looking pretty bad, and she may lose that soon. She has been in and out of rehab. And she has wanted to come home, as she thinks we want to take her house. I understand that, as that is what some people do, take advantage and all. We are nothing like that. I choose to think that she just wants to be in familiar surroundings. So that's where she is, at home. My sister and I are off. My sister does most of everything since she lives there. I help where I can, mostly concerned about not getting in the way of her plans for mother. And me and mother do not have a relationship. This makes it harder.

So I spend time thinking about what I can do to be helpful... and just do it. Talking to other people who are taking care of their parents, I have learned that it is a hard and taxing ordeal. I must agree with that. The best thing to do is take things day by day.

So my year has been spent ripping and running back and forth to rehab, getting frustrated over it all. My sister is kinder and gentler. My goal is to support her the best I can. It is a lot dealing my mother and my nephew for her. Things are just day to day. Let's just make it another day, another step. Maybe one more thing, just one more thing, will go right. That is what I pray for.

Another thing on my mind this New Year's Eve: Work.

We haven't had permanent leadership over our workgroup in 2 years, as my old director was ousted. He didn't do anything wrong. Let him tell it, folks conspired to get him out of the way. And he didn't fight it. He got a better position in our organization out of the ordeal. (That let's you know some shadiness was going on).

So we have had a bunch of "acting" directors. These have been mostly current supervisors. But for the past four months, a particularly "interesting" coworker has been in charge. If I posted some of the messiness that I've heard that has gone down, this post would be a small novella. So I won't do that.

Notice I said: If I posted some of the messiness I've heard that's gone down....

Heard is the operative word here. Folks don't usually give me trouble. If I know that you're a...challenging individual, I absolutely don't fool around with you. Everything is absolutely work related. I don't care about your life, your dog, your Mama... nothing about your life. You've been treating people like trash, and you WILL NOT be bringing your craziness my way. My personality is just rough like that. I do not have the patience to sit around kissing your azz... none of that. You are considered problematic, even though I don't have problems out of you.

Let's just say, I like to make people think I am just a bit... touched in the head. That way, I don't deal with much foolishness.

Now, I do not care who my leadership is. It could be Scooby-Doo for all I care. As long as I get my paycheck every two weeks, it's not that important to me. What drains me is all the shenanigans I have to hear about. All the HIGHLY inappropriate mess I have to hear about. Luckily, folks sent complaints to higher-uppers, and somebody heard the complaints... and decided to go in a different direction.

So I was sitting at home on vacation (or holiday as the royals like to call it), and I was texting back and forth with a new coworker, and she told me a decision on our new leadership had been made and who it was. And it was NOT the challenging coworker. It was a supervisor from another group, a woman, no less.

Shocked the heck out of me.

This had all been a part of my morning prayers for a few months. Everyone was so stressed out with the acting leader. I would just pray for everyone, and hope that we could all get some type of answer.

And then we did... a leader who didn't even apply for the job.

I saw the new leader in her office before I left for Holiday.

I threw open her door and hollered...

LOOK at GOD!!

Won't He Do IT!!!

This got a hearty chuckle. And rightfully so.

But it is true, isn't it?

And I can say that for so much going on in my life, in every crisis and concern that comes my way... from taking care of our mother, to dealing with the workplace.

Look at God... Won't He do it?

So much interesting stuff goes on in my life, my personal world. Why, even during this time off, I tape a large piece of construction paper up on the wall, and I write with a sharpie marker, all the good stuff that happens that day. I call it my "Good of the Day" list. And I am amazed at all the good surprises that happen every day.

Every single day.

And for that, with the end of the 2019 drawing to a close... I'm thankful.

I'm so glad that I understand one thing at the end of this year. Of course I have known this all along, but I understand more this year:

God answers and takes good care of me.

And of you too...

So here's a thumbs up to the end of a year, the end of a decade.

I hope to be a better person each and every year. Now, I tend to ebb and flow in this area, I do admit, but this has nothing to do with being who everyone thinks I should be, as we are as a whole overly concerned with what others think of us.

But I hope and pray just to be better. I pray some of the old bad habits fall off and are replaced with new habits. I pray that some of the old thinking falls off and is replaced with new thinking. I pray for those around me, who I deal with and who I don't deal with anymore. In other words, I pray for the new friendships that will enter my life, and those friendships that have seen an end to our season together.

I pray for my purpose... on purpose.

And I pray for your purpose... on purpose.

Have a safe and New Years Eve.

And see you in 2020.


P.S I read my post from 10 years ago today after I finished writing this post. Some good food for thought there: https://ladylee35.blogspot.com/2009/12/post-3-southern-black-gal-postulate-99.html

Blanket Season, Part I

I am making baby blankets right now. I am happy for that, as I didn't make any blankets this year for babies, and this is the first year in some 20 years that that has been the case.

"Nobody is having a baby this year," I whined all year long to whoever would listen.

But alas, a couple of folks have babies due in February. So at least 2020 is taken care of. And suddenly, a coworker asked me to make a blanket from one of her expecting friends, who is due around Christmas.

The crochet year has been saved. GLORY!

So I just finished that blanket.

I like to model them on my slate dining room table.

But I forgot. So I had to bootleg it, meaning allowing the recipient to model the blanket.

And since Lady A commissioned the blanket for a friend, she was the de facto model.

I threw her in a chair in the cubicle area, and took a few pictures!

This was a pretty cool blanket. I've gotten in the habit of making small versions of the blankets so the buyer can see what they want.

After seeing it, she requested three stripes of white composed of three rows of white each.

*ladylee looking puzzled*

"My favorite number is three!"

"Oh, ok," I said.

And she didn't want a spot of white in the middle. That's easy enough to skip, and just start with baby blue yarn.

I think it came out really nice.

It came out about six inches too big, but that's okay. I made it in about a month or so. Could have been faster, but I was finishing up another blanket at the same time.

It is about 3 feet by 3 feet. (I started the white stripes too late in the blanket). The baby can use it in his toddler years!

That was a fun blanket to make. I hope the parents and baby like it.

Wordless Wednesday: Days of Baby Blanket Crocheting

Ten Tuesday Thoughts

Ten Thoughts!


On a Tuesday, no less!

1. I am enjoying the nice cool ATLien temperatures these days. Although I admit it was a bit jarring to go from 98 degree days to 70 degree days and at times 40 degree nights. That is a big swing!

2. I refuse to turn on my furnace until November 1st. I want to take advantage of a month or so of low utility bills. But lets just say I was around the house shivering quite hard a couple of nights.

3. This has been my favorite salad in the past couple of weeks.

I wish I had a chef who could make that for me EVERYDAY! Every single day!

4. Song I'm listening to right now: "Nothing has Ever Felt Like this" by Rachelle Ferrelle and Will Downing


How GREAT is that song? My goodness! That is REAL music! I miss it much.

5.I am ready for the weekend. It cannot get here fast enough.

6. I hate that I feel this way, as it means that work is boring and meaningless. Hopefully this is just a short spell of time of it feeling like this. Or maybe it may mean that it's time to make a change.

7. I don't eat after 5:00 pm most days. I only drink water. And I notice I sleep a lot better. No more late night eating for me, especially after 6 pm at the latest. That is a goal for the 2020 season, though.

8. I am currently trying to get my mind right for the Christmas season, meaning getting ready to give out some cheap and useful gifts. That means plenty of cookies!

9. Are ya'll watching The Watchmen?

I am, but I am confused as hell. But I am down for some Regina King and Yahya Abdul Mateen II.

 ALL DAY. I will watch whatever they're in. Yes ma'am. Yes indeed.  Black love on the screen, man. I do not know what the hell I am watching, but my eyes are glued to the screen. Glory!

10. What I'm listening to right now: "Is it Still Good to You" by Ashford Simpson.



That too is a GREAT song. As you can tell, I like old music, because today's music is HOT garbage compared to this. Smoking hot!

That's all for Ten Tuesday Thoughts!

Have a great evening!

Freestyle Fridays: Them Good Shoes

Happy Friday.

And I am glad it is Friday. Would be nice if this was a payday, tho.

Really.

Shoe of the Week. Anyway, there's nothing like a good pair of shoes. I have a favorite pair that's in desperate need of repair, and so I need to work on that. Next time I see some shoes I really like, I will buy two pair, and put one pair away. Because it is hard for me to find good shoes.

But, I ran up on my workplace Mom, Lady P. And that woman knows some good shoes.

I happen to run up in her office and have a seat next to her. She was busy as usual, and she allowed me to jibber jabber while she tried to concentrate on sending out emails. I know she was busy, and I don't usually bother folk too much, but she has the patience of God when it comes to me. I saw her office door open and just wanted to see her.

While I was going on and on about something of no particular importance, I looked down at her feet. She had some designer sneakers on. NOT, Nike or Adidas... none of that.

She was donning some Louis Vuitton sneakers.

"Mama!" I hollered. "Look at them shoes, girl! That's them good shoes!!"

"Yes, these are some nice shoes. I like these. I don't wear them often."

I wanted to ask if they were fake. Like, if she got them from the local discount mall. The discount mall gets busted pretty often around these ways for carrying counterfeit merchandise.

But I didn't ask her, because I knew they were real. Mama like them good shoes, you see.

"I bet your daughter Mia looking for her shoes right now. Give her shoes back."
"Unh-unh," she said. "These are my shoes. Mia tries to raid my closet."

I would too. Because those are some good shoes.

"Turn around and let me get a pic of the back of those shoes, Mama!"

Yes those are the real Louis Vuitton shoes right there. Those look like they have pieces of the brown classic LV purses affixed to the back.

"Girl," Mama said, "when you get my age, you like to have nice stuff. You get what you like, you know?"

"I know that's right," I said.

Since I am getting up in age, I thought I'd go on and look up those shoes. Maybe I could run up to LV store in Lenox mall and get a pair.

When I saw the price, I just closed the website down. I will just pay my mortgage instead.

Maybe one day, tho...

I will just stick with my $50 sneakers for now.

But I love Mama's shoes. That's them good shoes.

Song of the Week. I try to post whatever song I've been listening to all week. I have 2 songs, and I cannot decide what to post. So I will post both.

"Trippin'" by Total.



"Don't Wait for Me" by Morris Day.



Both of those songs were songs that randomly came up on my Spotify streaming lists, and both had me like "Oh!! I remember that song!" I can remember the state of my life and what was going on when those songs came out. Some songs just transport you back to a place and time. A pleasant surprise indeed!!!

So I have had those songs on repeat.

That's it for Freestyle Fridays.

Have a great Weekend! On Purpose!