Food for Thought: Seed and Prayer, Prayer and Seed

(Dedicated to the Original Oldgirls LB and Serenity)

I have a birthday coming up in about 9 days, and if you have been reading the LadyLee blog for the past few years, you will know that around this time, I tend to wax nostalgic about the status of the past year since the last birthday. Much has happened in that span of time. And it is interesting that our church fast is for a month just prior to my birthday.

This also fulfills mandatory requirements from my baby blog sista Serenity3-0. That chick gets a bit surly if I don't post some posts from my heart, posts that delve deep behind the funny. She has private access to my wonderful wisdom on a daily basis (and I to hers) , and for some reason thinks I should share what's going on in my heart and with me in general within the virtual walls of the House of LadyLee.

These posts are rare, and you better catch 'em while you can.

The House of LadyLee can turn back smurfy at the drop of a hat.

So bear with me and hunker down for a long post here or there.

Ya'll know how I do. (Hush up Original Oldgirls Chele and Lbeezy. Hush now).

It is my goal here, and especially leading up to and surrounding my birthday, to really gather in my thoughts and experiences in certain matters and place them in a set of blog posts. That way, I can just pull them up and read them. I use them to uplift and encourage myself throughout the rest of the year. (This was especially true with last years birthday posts).

So, I said I would write about this fast that I am on right now.

I've been holding off on writing about the fast because I wanted to get near the end of it. There are too many *crickets* at the beginning of a fast, and I need to get to the end to have some clarity on it all, because A LOT of stuff has occurred. I won't divulge here. But you know you have to read between the lines here anyway. I expect some "sidebar" email discussions with several people behind these posts. (Trust me, that has already been going on- What's up, my bootleg virtual psychotherapist Ms.Blackliterature.com?)

I suppose this fasts ends on February 4th (I need to go check on that).

And this is what, the 29th?

So that means 5 more days.

Every year, during the month of January, our church does a 30 day fast.

It is suppose to get us ready for the year ahead.

I have failed the past couple of years.

Don't know why... Let me stop lying:

Yes I do: I was lazy and hard-headed. I was selfish, self-serving!

That's what that's about.

But this year, I was, and still am, determined to finish. Yeah, yeah, I decided that I won't beat myself up if I mess up (which I did one time. It was funny. So I will most definitely write about it).

I would just get back on the horse and go forward!

So... the fast rules change every year. This year, the rules seem to coincide with some of the life issues we were studying.

1. Whatever is eaten has to come from a seed. Fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds... whatever grows out of the ground or on a tree. It has to come from a seed. Add to that rule- no junk food, no sweets, no sugar, no sodas, no meat, no refined foods.

Seed related products and water. That's it.

2. Pray for one hour a day.

Sounds simple enough.

(That's what I always think on or prior to Day 1, lol)

Now, after the instructions, you could see people mulling over this.

*Crickets* abound, frozen in that classic Karate kid eagle stance.

So, the pastor said REAL QUICK... (and I paraphrase)

"Don't be calling up to the church asking questions, trying to figure out what is what. The instructions are simple. Ya'll are grown! Just don't cheat. I don't care how many times you eat a day, that's up to you. If ya gotta ask a bunch of questions, then ya trying to find a way to cheat or something. You are adults. Work it out!!"

I think he had that right. He was talking to me. I myself am quite the bootleg chick, you see.

Now, as for the praying an hour a day...



I was up in the air about that. That meant getting up earlier than usual, and praying. I am grouchy in the mornings. I don't want to talk to NOBODY that early, not even Jesus. I sometimes don't feel well or don't sleep well because of my illness. (Uh, don't trip- it is very low grade- some joint pain, maybe a fever or a headache, stuff like that). Let's just say, it takes me a few hours to get up and get moving, get my head right, all that - in order to start my day.

Interestingly, we had a prayer conference in early January, more like a clinic really, on how to pray... basically examining elements of prayer and what not, and most importantly, how to avoid doing some stupid unproductive stuff. I got 5 good hours of good information to put to use. My church done went and did the wrong thing and streamed it over the internet (which is really a good thing- but it's a WILD thing to actually watch church over the internet because we didn't feel like going- lol), but I actually went up to the church on only 3 nights of the conference and caught the internet stream the other 2 nights.

So, I had a basic plan for myself in place, and I was actually motivated to pray.

Now, I tend to pray here and there during the day, if I am alone. This has been a natural habit of mine for years, but not for no hour straight through. I'm good with my minutes here, minutes there. So I thought that would be my biggest challenge.

But I found that the prayer time has been the easiest part. Something's on my mind every day, and people around me have their issues. There's stuff on my mind that has been bothering me for YEARS that I really need to pray about or at least pray for the courage or desire to deal with them. There's stuff that I don't even know how to pray about. I just need to start talking and maybe something will happen.

I have a plethora of goals and dreams that I'm trying to muster up enough faith to tackle. Shoot, I can pray about that stuff alllll day long!

There's the economy, world isshas... my enemies.

Trust me, there's always something to pray about. ALWAYS.

I would say that I have clocked over 25 hours of prayer time total during this fast time.

I am ashamed to say, I don't think I've prayed that much, total, in the last year. Last few years, really.

Don't look at me with that tone of voice...


I don't know many people who make prayer a high priority. I mean, I've prayed about things, and I get answers. But for me, it has always been sporadically throughout the day, for mere minutes at a time. I get results, but sporadic is what it is: sporadic.

I've learned through this all that that must change. Really. It is highly crucial and highly imperative. And it changes now. THIS year.

It has made me realize that I need to be mindful of what should be a priority with me. And I must say, that I have REALLY enjoyed waking up and praying every morning. I look forward to it. I was NOT expecting that.

This is the first time in a long time that I don't wake up tired. Shoot, I don't even use an alarm clock. I wake up every morning between 4:30 and 6:00 a.m...

And I pray.

I would say that 80% of the time, I pray quietly, with no distractions. The rest of the time, I think I've crocheted. I don't know, but it seems as if crocheting and praying have some synergistic peace effect on me. But at the same time, I really don't want one associated with the other, so I have tried to stay away from that. (Does that make any sense?)

One time I folded some clothes while praying. I ain't doing that no more.

My complaining and whining has virtually evaporated into thin air. I'm not much of a complainer, but I realize I whine just like er' body do from time to time. Whenever I do, words of encouragement and edification come up in my heart. They give me peace and annihilate my fears (let's face it, that's what's really behind our whining and complaining).

My thought life is much better also.

And I realized yesterday, that I no longer feel any pain when I wake up. Now, how I missed that, I don't know. Much of that comes from being detoxed by this fasting. But that right there is a GOOD thang.

My day goes a lot better as a result. I still have my challenges. But I'm doing much better with my anger management, time management, and fear isshas. MUCH.

I am getting some great results, just from simply praying every morning. Man, there's some weird stuff going on, like things that I didn't think were important enough to be praying about, getting answered. And in a bizarre way. I'm talking, stuff that has me a bit shook up and in tears because I can't believe God got me on His mind like THAT. How on earth is this happening? WHY is it happening?

Bizarre.

*Lee raises hand and says "Alex, I'll take Bizarre for 200 dollars, please"*

No, I ain't hating on bizarre. Listen up... bizarre is cool with this Oldgirl right here!

Let's just say, uh-rah... the hour-a-day prayer in the morning is going to continue indefinitely. Just for the sense of personal peace it is bringing. That is going to continue.

Really though.

Now as for this seed thing, i.e., everything eaten must come from a seed...

That has proven to be more difficult.

Man, I have come to find out that I better have my meals planned. None of this "Oh, I won't pack lunch today, I'll just run out and get something!"

I better think about it before I leave the house in the morning. I better get it ALL together before I head off to work. It is a bit cumbersome, I must admit. All I know, I better make it do what it do.

With that said, variety is key. I've spent MUCH time in the natural foods stores as of late. I've come up with some interesting meals, lol. (That's a whole separate post).

But why on earth would we have a fast involving only consuming stuff that comes from a seed?

Because... it is to remind us that everything in life starts with a "seed".

Everything...

You don't believe me?

Hmmm...

Simple example, which I've used before.

What do you think about when you see, read, or hear the following word:

GREEN

I would guess you think about the color of grass, the color of money, even of it being your favorite color, perhaps.

I must say, I don't think of such things. For the past few years, I believe, I think something else when I see that word.

Let me throw another word with it.

GO GREEN

Those two words probably got you (and me) doing things we don't normally do. If not, just give it a little time. You WILL be doing some things different. Watch.

Those two words put together make up an interesting type of "seed".

Words are types of seeds, you see. Just look at your life and you will see what I mean.

I've said it before, I'll say it again (and during this past month, I've been waaaaaay more cognizant of it than ever)

Words produce thoughts…
Thoughts produce action…
Actions produce our destiny…

I have been thinking on this, especially with all the things that have happened over the past year...

And I do believe that was the whole point of this fast.

to be continued...