Monday Afternoon Funk

It is Monday afternoon.

And I am in a funk.

One, because I've been trying to get my laptop to work all day. It is just now acting right. This laptop has to be 6 or 7 years old, so it's time for a new one I suppose. Or maybe I can just look around for my trusty netbook that I never use.

The other reason I'm in a funk is because I am off today. I have had a headache for the past 36 hours or so, and it has worn me out. So I just called in sick. I'm not doing any lab work right now, only spending this week and last writing up a report. So I am kicking myself for not signing up for telework. I will work on that when I get back to work. I have been working on some data for the past several months, and oddly enough, I have it on copy of it on a drive. But uh, this Oldgirl ain't working at home for free. No sir.

The headache is subsiding. I think I'm just dehydrated. Sigh. I've been gulfing down a ton of water. I need to stock up on some tylenol. Ugh. Too bad I don't dig around for it until I need it.

At any rate, I had a decent weekend. I had my writing group this Saturday morning. I have to get my mind right to make the 80 mile round trip. And it is hot as hell outside. This weekend it actually hit 100 degrees in the ATL. 100 degrees. I had the AC on super high, as high as it would go. I am thankful for AC. I remember when cars weren't equipped with AC.  That was back in the 70s. We had to roll the window down and go fast and catch the breeze, if you could call it that. Thank goodness those days are over.

But I really enjoyed the writing group meeting. I have said it before, and I will continue to say it: they are such NICE people. Just wonderful. I look around at them during out 2 to 3 hours together and I think "I wish I was this nice of a person."

I just like being around them. Such a even calm spirit in the room.

Anyway, I am proud to report that I finished up my story "Microwaves and Crockpots" and I turned it in. I think I got up to the 5th draft, and was done. It looks good, and when I read it to my break-out group last month, they all really enjoyed it. So I was happy about that. I don't really write inspirational pieces except here on blog. So it was a challenge to take a blog post and shape into a story of sorts. I have been culling together blog posts anyway and rewriting them for hopes of publishing them in my own anthology. That's been a goal for awhile, and I have some 10 stories ready and formatted. I may even go back and pull together a couple of spiritual pieces, since I have room to submit another 4 pages to the group for the anthology. So I will be working on that the rest of the month.

I made my 80 mile round trip without much trouble. Usually there is construction out that way, but it wasn't all that bad. It takes me 40 minutes to get there (at 10 in the morning), and about 50 minutes to get back home due to more people being on the street.

Something interesting always happens at meetings. Last meeting, our group was reading our pieces, and one lady didn't have copies for every one.  She said she didn't have a computer at the time because she was poor, so she wrote her's in her journal and she would read from there. I was in utter shock by this all. I was thinking about my laptop, netbook, kindle, etc... Here she was, not even having a computer. I have been thinking about that every since.

This time, one of the ladies had published a book. We were all excited about it. She writes sci-fi and paranormal. I remember a couple of months ago that she was talking about what she wrote. I was thinking, hmm... somebody else that doesn't write christian fiction (even though this is a christian group). I need to get up with her later on. I caught up with her this time, as she was sitting behind me. I bought a copy of her book. A guy next to me said he needed to save up for the book. I bought him a book, too. It was only $15. He was elated.

This is something that's not of the ordinary for me. I've been sowing seed for well over a decade, and it is habit, as I want it to be. I am most definitely not worse off for it. It is habit. And I hope it becomes a more ingrained habit. I harvest a TON of "fruit" from such seed. A ton.

And this leads me to something interesting. I was listening to a black talk show I love, one I have been listening to for close to a year (I never miss it), and the host said something interesting. She said that when a white homeless man walks up on her, or if she even sees one, she thinks... For real?

I froze the first time I heard her say that. Why? Because I have felt the same way too.

For real? You a white man, running up on ME asking for help?

I remember that happening a few months ago in the Whole Foods parking lot. First of all, I'm looking at you sideways for walking up on me while I'm putting my bag in the car. I have all manners of crazy stuff in the trunk to shank a joker with. But you're asking me for help?

COME ON, MAN.

You are white. You can go shave and shower and look like you own the company. No problem.

I am a black woman. Even now, with all these degrees, even with a "Dr." attached forever and ever to my name, I will always be thought of as "less than" than my peers. Always. I could discover the cure to AIDS, cancer and ebola, and it wouldn't matter. My skin color will always be an issue.

What a waste, I think, as I had to hear the man's plea for a dollar. What a waste of good white skin.

I remember when I was young, we would sit around talking about what we would do "If we were white".  I even remember as a child walking around with a towel on my head, pretending that I had long lovely "white girl" hair.

So yes. When I see a homeless person, in my mind I too think... For real????

And I remember when the show host talked of her exact same thoughts on the subject, I froze. Why? Because I thought I was the only one that felt that way. And in my heart of hearts, I knew that it was wrong.
In my prayers, and in my journal, I remember praying about it being something I needed to work on. I don't want to be color struck like that. People need help, regardless of skin color. Regardless.

So little situations present themselves of examples of people of the majority not having enough. I recognize them as such. I may or may not lend a helping hand. I do what I can, as for anyone, and I keep it moving. I just want the thoughts of just because a person is white and having a rough time, that I can fold my arms and judge them. We all go through stuff. There are more poor white folks than black folks. Yet for some reason, we are the face of poverty and all things negative. Cultural conditioning at it's worse.

I remember watching Minister Andy Stanley one night, and he said if you are thinking racial stuff, you better book a meeting with yourself and work it out. And he was right. I've booked several meetings with myself and there have been some decent results. And a need for more meetings. Sigh.

So that's what I am thinking about today. That was a mini-food for thought freestyle.

That's it. I feel better. I have been drinking a lot of water. My blood pressure has been low, so it has come back up to where it needs to be. I will be the first one in the door at work tomorrow.

Not!

I have 840 hours of sick leave. I try to save them just in case I fall out and need to be out for a couple of months.

Song of the Week. Oldie but Goodie! SOS band "Tell me if you Still care"



That song is some AWESOMENESS... and I am sure that my 13-year-old mind was mesmerized by the high technology of that video.

Yet it is a great ORIGINAL song. No originality these days. And not many bands either. Humph.

That's it. This is Sweepstakes time, all the way up to August 15th or roundabouts. Be sure to comment to enter. I am giving away $100 gift cards. Not sure how many. I am taking the number the posts over the 6 week period, and dividing by 10. That's what I will give away. So get on it, doggonit. Make that money!

Strategize and execute. You know how to make it do what it do.

Over and out... on purpose.