Day Twenty-Seven - Your Favorite Place

I meant to do this post last night, but I fell asleep. . .

My favorite place is my house.

It's painted peach, which is my favorite color. It's very small, but still too big for me.

No, I don't have anything fancy. No expensive artwork on the walls, none of that. You'll never come in my house and squeal oooh and ahhhh...

Although I love fresh flowers for the coffee table in the living room.




Not sure what possesed me to buy white furniture.



But I love my microsuede sofa. I especially love that chair and ottoman in the far corner, as that's my favorite place to crochet, or kick back with my laptop and do a little writing.

I love that my garage is in the back of the house. It's very "bat-caveish", lol.



Nope... I'm not fancy, nothing fancy here.

It's just my personal place of peace. That's all.

It's my home. It's where I can get away from all the worries, cares and expectations of the world and just be me.

Day 20 - This Month "Boxes"

This month has been... has been:

UGH...

*Lee passing out on the hard concrete*

Very tiring. Very confusing. Very long. Very stagnant. Very everything.

But I'm back on my feet... I think.

This past week was getting back to normal. I think.

You know, since turning 40, or around that time, I tend to put a lot of stuff in life through filters, and that goes for people also. I tend to categorize folks. I tend to place everything in certain boxes.

Like, there's box marked IMPORTANT. There's one marked UNIMPORTANT. Then there's some boxes marked as TRASH. All of that goes in a room of my mind.

Well, this month, I felt like I left the room.

And I came back, and the boxes were turned over, and everything was scattered all around.

All around my mind, that is.

And I've had to find a way of overlooking the utter chaos and putting everything back into it's proper box. And having the patience to do it right.

That's it in a nutshell.

An arduous process it is, looking at each person and situation, and not only deciding what box they go in, but why they go in said box.

That's how I describe this month.

I haven't been keeping track of goals set and all that. The only cosistent thing going on is me continuing with my savings goals for the year, and churning away on that. My goals techonologist Ms. Not so Anonymous (who's also my future POTUS) is taring the club up with her personal weekly goal challenge. I have a little bit of month left. I'ma follow her example and set one or two goals for the month.

This past week has been good. I did what I needed to do at work. Period.

This weekend was even better. I ran a LOT of errands. I went to church. I finally got out to my sister's new apartment waaay on the southside. I even hung out with my best friend.

I concentrated on the box marked "IMPORTANT". And that's all I wanted to do...

All I needed to do.

Day Eighteen - My Favorite Birthday

I'm posting late, late late. I had a writing workshop tonight, and I got in really late.

But I press on. (As I lay here listening to Earth Wind and Fire, half asleep)

My favorite birthday...

Hmm...

Several come to mind. But I can't say that any were mindblowing and one stands out. They all mean something collectively. So I'll travel backwards in time, writing briefly about each.

All through my 30s - me and LadyTee take each other's birthdays off, and we run the streets, go do girly-stuff, like get our nails done, go shopping. Yeah, I say girly things, because anyone who knows me knows I'm a tomboy and girly stuff is... strange to me, lol.

I know the last 2 years, on my 39th and 40th birthdays, I've laid my head down to sleep outside of the USA. Yeah. That's what I call big balling, lol. My 39th birthday was my very first vacation as an adult, overtaking The Green Eyed Bandit's family cruise, and making it my own birthday cruise, lol. And then for my 40th birthday, I spent a few days in the Dominican Republic.

The idea now is to spend my birthdays from now on in another country. Although that's not going to pan out for my 41st birthday. Going on a 8 day cruise to Dominican Republic, Aruba, Caracao, and somewhere else in late February, 2 weeks after my birthday. Hijacking The Green Eyed bandit's family cruise again, and making it my own.

Before that, my most memorable birthday was my 30th birthday. I was in New Orleans doing a post-doc fellowship. Things were bad at home. My husband forgot my birthday, didn't acknowledge it, and was doing his own thing.

BUT I had 2 huge surprise parties at work. TWO. Wow! I hadn't had a birthday party since the age of 5. WOW. What a FINE time we had at work that day! Yeah, I had to go home, but I was all smiles.

Felt good that, even though I was lonely and felt unloved, people took thought of me. I felt good about myself that day.

Another great birthday was the age of 26. The same husband mentioned above was a boyfriend, and did most things right. He made that birthday a good one. Came down to my school in a suit, picked me up and took me to the Cheesecake factory and to a movie.

I don't recall the movie. But I do recall much much MUCH knocking of boots that night. That is all.

LOL

Before then, my most memorable birthday was at the age of 5. I was in the first grade. I wore a light blue sailor dress with a white color and red tie. My mother came up to the school and brought cake and music, and me and classmates in Mrs. Pittman's class danced and danced.

That was the age when I just remember being innocent. I wasn't all worried about stuff. Just enjoyed being a kid. I close my eyes and think of that time often.

I wish for that innocence again. I truly do.

So, those are birthdays that were not only memorable... but pivotal in some way.

And I am thankful for them all.

Day Twelve - What's in Your Bag

What's in my bag?

Well, I don't carry a pocketbook, except to church. So right now, nothing's in the purse 'til Sunday.

I carry my stuff in a small black pouch that hangs around my neck. In that, there's my drivers license, a couple of debit cards and a couple of credit cards I needed for my Arkansas trip...

Humph. Arkansas is over. Better put those cards up.

My "bag" is my laptop bag. I carry that to work every day. Some days I carry my laptop, some days I don't. It's all according to whether I'm doing some writing or I need to transfer something and print it. It ain't work related.

So I guess I will post what's in this special bag.

1. My laptop (needed to print some of my story.)
2. A notebook with typed pages of my story (some 159 pages front and back. Good deal)
3. Blockbuster videos that need to be returned in the mail (Boondocks and Bad Asss Cinema)
4. A small notebook I use for blog ideas/topics (so I won't forget)
5. A gang of Arkansas paperwork. (Dang! Thought I took all that out of there).
6. Digital camera
7. bottle of cherry mint water
8. 12 pack of antibacterial wipes. (I am sometimes obsessive compulsive about that type stuff).
9. a baggie of oreo minis. (snuck those in the movies 2 weeks ago, just in case I got hungry. Have had them for a month and a half. Should I throw them away? NO. LOL)
10. pens
11. sharpies
12. lotion
13. baggie of alcohol soaked paper towels (need to clean my desk sometimes, man).
14. bills (*blank stare* one of those needs to be paid right now!)
15. meds (I take a ton of meds. Couple of bootleg prescriptions just in case I get caught out somewhere and can't get home!)
16. sanitary pads (Don't laugh. You ladies, you better have one SOMEWHERE around so you won't be looking crazy.)

That's what's in my bag!

Day Eleven - Your Siblings

If you've read my blog for length of time, ya'll know who my brother and sister be:

My sister Kentucky! My brother Milk and Cookies!

Not their real names. Their blog names, given by other bloggers, lol.

Kentucky is 28 (She'll be 29 on the 17th). Milk and Cookies just turned 23 last week.

I look at them now, all grown up, adults, and I still think of them as little. I was 11 when Kentucky was born. I was 17 when Milk and Cookies was born.

I was there. I remember the first time I saw them.

I remember the first time I held them in my arms.

I even remember their favorite songs when they first learned to talk:

Kentucky: Chaka Khan's "I feel for you"

Kari: Quincy Jones' "Secret Garden"; BabyFace's "Whip Appeal"

(Yes, i remember. They sang those songs over and over and over. Drove me absolutely NUTS!)

Whenever anyone asks me if I have children, I say no. LadyTee is QUICK to holler "Stop lying, yes you do! She got kids. That doggone Kay and Kari! It's a long story!"

*LadyLee gives LadyTee the hard side-eye*

I've written, uh, interesting stories about their births here on blog- click here for Kentucky. Click here for Kari.

I'm older than them. More older sister/mama than friend that you can tell anything. They are closer in age, so they are closer in general. And I am fine with that. They have both been known to give me the side-eye when I holler:

"You gonna learn from my mistakes, or you gonna learn from your own. Any which way it goes, YOU WILL LEARN!"

They use to look at me crazy behind that one.

We don't see much of each other anymore. I don't like that, but life is life. My sister lived with me for the past 6 years. I watched her get her Masters and become a great teacher. My brother is a married man, has a son, and fights the good fight for our country over in Iraq. He's stateside now, and will be stationed in Seattle. I hope he doesn't have to go back, but if he does, I pray for his safe return.

I like who they've become.

I look forward to who they will be.

And I wish them both the best for the future!

Day Ten - What You Wore Today

This will be the shortest post you'll EVER see over in these parts. EVER.

What I wore today:

black bra
black panties
purple shirt
blue jean capris
white socks
white sneakers
eyeglasses
labcoat
gold hoop earrings
2 green rubber bands on left arm
1 neutral rubber band on left arm

That's it. No high heels. No fancy dresses.

I work in a lab. Wear that fancy stuff if you want to. No telling when I gotta process a cooler of ROTTEN fish. That smell don't come out of your clothes. Yeah, I wore a labcoat today but whatever. I learned when I was 19 or 20 to leave your good gear in the closet. Or it will be full of holes.

And I have this really strange thing for rubber bands. I find it odd. I know Serenity23 is big on lovely accessories.

I asked her if my rubber bands counted as accessories. She said no.

Can't argue with my fellow Oldgirl.

I'll just wear my rubber bands and let them be rubber bands.

Anyway, that's what I wore today!

Day Eight - A Moment

A moment.

Now what in the world is that suppose to mean?

And ya'll know me. I ain't the most learned Oldgirl in the world. I'll go look up a word in a minute.

But I won't. I am bone tired, and my mind is frickin' shot. I might get a "moment" of sleep tonight. Who knows?

Anyway, I am thinking of a couple of "moments" I had today.

Blog family cups hands to mouth and hollas "Oldgirl, do you want some cheese with that whine????"

Shut it up! I'm not whining today. I'll whine at Oscar-Tyrone if I have to whine.

This is a whine free zone tonight.

I had some funny "moments" today.

Moments that make me... smile.

Moment #1

I was dragging getting ready for work. I didn't even go walking. I need to do that. 2 or 3 miles and a nice sunrise gets my blood pumping, and any signs of inflammation disappear in the wind. Gives me more energy for my day!

But I was brooding. HIGHLY upset that I had to go to work.

Then LadyTee called. The convo was interesting (*excuse the ebonics. This is just how we talk.)

"Whassup, girl?" she asked.
I sat down on the bed. I was changing my socks to some whiter socks (for some odd reason). "Nothing much, man."
"You still in the bed?"
"No," I mumbled.
"You sound like it," she said, half chuckled.
"No. I just ain't been talking this morning."
"Oh, okay," she said. "Ready for work this morning?"
I mumbled something inaudible, similar to something Lurch would mumble.
"You gonna have a blessed day today, girl," she said. "It's gonna be a great day."
I mumbled more.
"Got dog, man! You ain't trying to hear that, are you, Lee?"
This caused us to both bust out laughing. She has had to hear ALL of the drama going on at work that I won't dare post here. ALL of it.
"Man, them jokers is crazy," I say.
"Well you gonna have a blessed day, and ask the Lord to deal with anybody who come at you today, before they even get to you. Just go pray. Make sure you pray."
"Whatever, man," I mumbled again.
"You REALLY ain't studyin' it."
"Just tired, big girl." I put on my sneakers, reached down and tied them. "Just tired."

I needed that call this morning. I was feeling a bit low. Just needed to lay in the bed a little longer or something.

But I did what she said. While I was putting together my usual fruit for the morning -grapefruit wedges, pineapple, watermelon, cherries, grapes, honydew melon-

I prayed.

And I felt A LOT better leaving the house this morning. Even got to work 30 minutes early.

Imagine that.

Thanks LadyTee for calling. You need to call every morning and talk to my whining behind.

Moment #2

I worked a 9 hour day today. This is the reason why I RARELY go to work before 10. My doc wants me to work an eight hour day, and to stick as tightly to that as possible. (I'm sure my boss considers me lazy, but whatever. My doc has my health in mind).

But I got off from work around 7:40 pm. I was shooting for 6, but whatever. I actually had a productive day, and staying over an hour and a half didn't bother me.

I talked to the guard who's critiquing the current story I'm writing. He said he'd be reading tonight and will talk to me tomorrow. (This was good, as a brutha like to hold an Oldgirl up with discussion. I was ready to go).

But I got in my car.

Pulled out my leftover fruit.

Hit random on the CD player (which has a disc in it with 150 songs, so who knows what would play).

Rose Royce's "Wishing on a Star" queued up.



I turned that song ALL the way up (And I have an INSANE system courtesy of that pretty boy Tiny).

SANG that song, right along with that gal...

And I ate my fruit....

And watch this...

Commenced to spitting watermelon seeds, grapefruit seeds, and cherry seeds out the window.

Turned the head of whoever was strolling down the street.

Wanted to holler "Stop looking at me, Man! Or YOU gonna catch a seed dead in YO eye."

I sang all the way home.

And when the song went off?

I hit repeat. And sang some more.

That was the best moment of the day.

Well second best behind the first, lol.

I live for those moments.

In the morning, I look forward to packing up my fruit, having a moment of prayer...

And spitting my seeds.

Day Six - Your Day

The sixth day of the challenge surrounds describing your day.

Easy enough.

It. is. the. Weekend.

That is all.

So if I sat up in here and picked fuzzballs out of my carpet all day, then FINE.

Interestingly, there was an email out for overtime. That wasn't going down with me. Been treated like crap all week, they can go sit on a tack.

See you on Monday.

Anyway, I woke up at my usual 5:30 am. Naturally. Thought remotely about going walking at around 6:30. That was a no go, for whatever reason. I think I lay in bed. I really needed that time to calm my head and relax because it's been a TERRIBLE week at work.

This really needed to be a chore day. My house is a hot mess. I like to clean up during the week, but this past week consisted of coming home, taking off my clothes, taking off my bra, and going to bed.

So I'm somewhat happy with my attempt at chores.

It all sounds mundane, doesn't it?

And that's okay. I like mundane.

But it wasn't mundane. Lo and behold, there was a family gathering. Family gatherings are rare, and since they stress me out something terrible, I usually don't go. Seeing me show up is like spotting a UFO. Better catch it while you can.

But alas, not this time.

Milk and Cookies is home from Iraq, and there was a Welcome Home Gathering for him. From what I hear, he's around for 20 days, and then he'll be stationed in Seattle.

It was potluck. I didn't make anything, though. I picked up some cranberry tuna salad, sonoma chicken salad, and crackers from Whole Foods last night, and that was that. And it was one of those things where I told my sister, when people started showing up, give me a call, and I'll come on over.

Been quite a few times when I get somewhere on time and I'm the only one there. NOT a good look, man.

Anyway, I had a nice time. Auntie and Grandma were there. I saw some of my cousins.

And of course there was my brother Milk and Cookies.

I even got a really good picture of Sr. and Jr. together!

Ain't that a great picture?

It's hard to get a baby to smile. But the mohawk rockin' Milk and Cookies Jr. cheesed hard with his 6 to 8 teeth.

I had a nice time. I actually sat down and talked with my brother. I don't think we've had a real convo of any length in the past 3 years. So that was a good thing. There were quite a few pics. I'll sort and load this week sometime.

So I left the party around 7:30. I came on home, and now I'm sitting here typing up this blog post, and watching the movie Mad Money on Lifetime. Oscar-Tyrone is sitting here on the sofa carefully watching me, hoping that I will pet him. (Not gonna happen).

Tonight I plan to fold my clothes, and get something together so I can throw on and walk in the early morn. My room is still a mess, so I will dabble around in there.

That is my DAY. A good day. I met a few small goals, and my brother is back stateside, safe and sound.



A great day indeed.

Day Five - Your Definition of LOVE

LOVE

A simple four letter word, yet incredibly complex.

Now what the heck am I suppose to write about this?

My definition of LOVE.

I have no idea. A plethora of things go through my mind.

You know me. I'll go look up a word with the quickness. This helps me narrow my thoughts down a bit.

And I'm listing the definitions of love here. These were obtained from dictionary.com

The ones that totally describe what I think are highlighted in green:

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7. sexual intercourse; copulation.
8. ( initial capital letter ) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12. the benevolent affection of god for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13. Chiefly Tennis . a score of zero; nothing.
14. a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.

Those are all great definitions.

But the one that stands out the most is love being defined as the affectionate concern for the well-being of others.

That's a great, earnest sincere definition.

Because to me, it denotes action.

I do like definition #12- the benevolent affection of God for his creatures and us for God.

That right there is love at it's best, very much reciprocal in nature.

Then we get over into what I've been thinking about for awhile.

And it's my pastor's fault. He spent about 3 months on this subject matter. (Had me sceaming in my mind, "Got Dog Pastor, could ya move on to something else. DANG!!)

But he said he was staying on it so it could get ingrained in our heads, until we... got it.

And that is... operating in love towards others as being the direct opposite of selfishness.

And you know, that context provides an excellent filter for my decisions, and an examination of my motives and agendas.

(And as much as I write about motives and agendas, you know how I feel about them.)

Questions of late for me have involved...

Am I doing something our of my selfish motives, to obtain a goal that will help me and at the same time hurt another?

Or am I operating in love, i.e., a desire to be a blessing or an encouragement to another, with no gain for myself? Giving of myself in spite of my own desires and fears?

I think those questions are easiest to answered in the area of romantic love. The answers are a little more complex to come by in other areas of my life.

Is it really love? Or is it something else?

I'll stop there...

And let us all ponder.

And continue to wonder.