Friday Food-for-Thought: The Lucys and Apples Edition

It is Friday.

And it's already April. But it hasn't felt like it in the ATL. This Thursday was cold and rainy.

I can stand cold. And I can stand rain. I just can't stand them together. And gloomy weather tends to throw me into a slight funk.  It was a day for laying in the bed dozing in and out and watching Maury Povich or the View.

I have been super busy, so I'm not blogging much.

And super distraught.

LUCY.

Lucy.

Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.

My lovely Lucy. Lucy the Lexus.

Lucy was TOTALED.

Lord help me.

*falls hard against church pew... ushers run to help*

That poor little black man who told me that on the phone last Friday caught my WRATH.

"What do you mean ya'll can't fix her!"

He just got super quiet. Like they taught him, I suppose. I just straight ranted.

And he was quiet.

I decided I didn't want to talk to him anymore. I decided to call the insurance adjuster (who was SO hard to catch up with) and try to calmly talk to him.

He simply said it was totaled. And that I could stop by on Monday and pick up the check.

O_O

My goodness. I was... distraught.

"Alright," I said.

Ugh.

I was an emotional mess.

I tell you. If it wasn't for my sister spending some time talking to me... I don't know how I could've even fathomed coming back for being so down.

And what bothers me the most is that if you know me, I don't get all discombobulated over material things. That's just not who I am. I am probably the most nonmaterialistic chick you will ever meet.

Why on earth was I so distraught?

I couldn't even think straight. And that bothered me.

I tell you. My doggone sister. That gal had to really work on me.

She has totaled a car, so she understand the all the processes and all the emotions. She dealt with my tears very well.

I managed to pull myself together and go to the collision shop and get some type of explanation of why this seemingly simple injury to Lucy couldn't be repaired. And it turned out that the metal was sliced to bad and they would have to replace a big piece that was continuous over the car. (I was a bit concerned about that. Saw it before I took it in). So it was a total loss.

They cut me a check for what it was worth, which came out about what I expected.

And they told me to go to the secretary and release it to my insurance company for towing.

While talking to her, I just broke down crying. I could hardly spell my name for her to find in the computer.

Man, it hurt so bad. I think it was just the culmination of the ratchet gamut of emotions I went thought. I am tearing up right now just thinking about it.

They told me to go out and remove whatever I needed from the car. I had completely cleaned it out that past Thursday when I took it in. All I needed was my license plate.  I watched as a worker unscrewed it.

They had already pretty much stripped Lucy. Sigh.

It was just a shell of what it had once been. Ugh.

I retrieved some papers out of the car and my license plate...

I made extra sure to find the guy I snapped on, and I apologized to him for my bad behavior.

(I tend to be like a seemingly empty mustard container... squeeze it hard enough, and a little mustard will come out. Yeah)

...and I got in Pam the Protege, and drove to work.

I felt okay, later. Better than I had. Why? Because I allowed myself just to let my emotions run their course. And my sister really really worked on me.

One thing she said made me feel hopeful:

"Lisa, you don't realize the dream position you in. You totaled the car, but you got your money back for it. You have an extra car. You don't have a car note. You can just hang out and look around and buy another Lexus when you feel like it."

She was right. I remember her having a car totaled when she'd almost finished paying for it. Then she had to rent a car for a good month, which is a giant bill in itself, and then get another car... and another car note. Back to square one.

She said she cried too. She even took a day off and stayed in bed all day. But she got up and got busy.

I decided I should do that too. I started looking at a few cars before I got the call about Lucy being totaled. I was just being nosy and looking at prices. I could essentially just go get another with the check I had. And I didn't expect much. Heck, it's a 14-year-old car.

I saw a few I liked. Kentucky got all excited because she is off all week, and I kept talking about her running me up to Tennessee to see one I liked. There was also mention of us shooting to West Georgia to peer at one I liked. (And if I was running up in a dealership, I was taking her with me. She negotiated Lucy's price).

I think the best thing about all of that is that I got my mind off my pain. I'm still not sure where all that pain radiated from. I would wake up in the middle of the night and pray about some things. I just wanted to not feel so BAD. Goodness. That is just not me.

I learned much about my feelings. And I was talking to a friend awhile back about how I treat my thoughts, feelings and emotions. It's a little cheeky, but I think you will draw something from it.

Imagine you and your child go to the grocery store one fine Saturday morning. The child is at an age where he or she can help out with the shopping. And that's a good thing, because it can be used as a teaching moment. (I know it was for myself and my baby bro Milk and Cookies, who considers himself my kid, since I am 17 years older than him).

Anyway, you tell your child to go and pick out a few apples. The child does it. He brings them back to the shopping cart in the flimsy bag that we all use for our produce.

You take a moment to examine the bag of apples. It looks to be half a dozen or so.

You notice that some of the apples are beautiful - big and red and shiny.

And then you see that some of the apples are not nice. They are bruised and soft and full of holes. One of them has some white mold growing on them.

You peer closer at one of the bad apples.

Oh my! Is that a worm peeking out at you?

Before you can finish the thought, the worm disappears back into the safety of the apple.

"Baby," you say. "Look at these apples. Some are rotten.  We don't want those."

You pick out those bad apples and you hand them to the child.

"Some of these apples are bad. And we're not buying the bad ones," you say. "Put those back. Get more good apples."

Hmmm...

"Some of these apples are bad. And we're not buying the bad ones... Put those back. Get more good apples."

Hmmm again...

I find it interesting that we are quick to do this simple fruit... and slow to do this with our thought life and feelings.

You know me. You know how much I wail about thoughts. And I know you are tired of me wailing and hollering about it. That's alright. Because I post it up to remind myself of it. I struggle with my thoughts, feelings and emotions from time to time.  So shoot... I need to talk to myself about these things sometimes.

Thoughts are like seeds.  My heart and soul are fertile soil.

And fruit sprouts from seeds.

Now that could either be either a good thing or a bad thing.

You know people by the fruit they produce.

I could throw the microphone up in the sky and end the post right there. That is enough to food-for-thought to chew on right there. But I won't.

I go through my little negative emotions from time to time. But it is usually short lived.

Mostly because I spend a fair amount of time examining my thoughts. Kind of like the mother above who examines the apples and finds some of them are good and some are bad.

She has enough sense to put the bad apples back. Why pay for that?

They might get sick if they eat it. And who wants to eat rotten fruit anyway?

Same way with my thought life. I have enough sense to know that the rotten thoughts aren't good for me.

Eventually those bad thoughts are going to produce some emotions, actions and reactions. Most likely, it's gonna be negative.

Here I was sitting around meditating on the thought of how Lucy was lost in a wreck that was less than a few seconds long. Sigh. I kept thinking on that. And I got the ticket for it. Made me cry something AWFUL.

I was thinking a little on the fact that I wasn't hurt. Getting hit by a BIG giant tow truck could be big trouble. I sure was grateful for that.

But there were too many thoughts competing. And combine it all with my patience issues, and this adjuster... man. I tell you... Dude. Wow.

I spent much time examining all of this.  I need better thoughts. I definitely concentrated on the fact that I didn't have to be airlifted out of anything. And I concentrated on the words of my sister. I tell you, I am usually the one advising her... it was the other way around this time. Way around.

I did a lot of praying. Learned more about myself that I already knew, but some things that I needed to really work on more.

I think the core central thought for me that bugged me something awful is one that I have sometimes:

I don't have much. I don't have all the fancy stuff that many of you have. I don't have the best health. I don't have family things to look forward to, as my family is not tight knit at all. I don't have the husbands or the kids. I don't have a lot...

BUT AT LEAST I HAD MY NICE AUTOMOBILE!!! DANG!!!!!!!

Geez. And now that's gone. *ladylee sits at the gates of the city dressed in sack cloth... crying and dumping ashes upon her own head*

That was the core of some things.

And if that is not some stinking thinking... WRONG thinking... then I don't know what it is.

That is akin to the worm coming out the hole of the rotten apple and looking at me... and running back in.

That was one of the many thoughts I examined. And I decided that that type of thinking was unacceptable. It wasn't true, really. And it didn't lead to a good place mentally at all.

I have more than most folks. I sure do. No doubt about it. And this is such a wonderfully fascinating time in my life. Just simply fascinating. There's not a day that goes by that I don't get multiple chances to impart some wisdom into someone's heart.  There's not a day that goes by where someone doesn't come across my path and imparts wisdom into my heart. Not a single day. I would have to go back a couple of years to find a "silent" day.

And I get a lot of answered prayer, which has me a bit O_o. But I'll take that!

It just fascinates me much.

That blows my mind.

And it is an excellent "apple", an excellent thought. Sure drowns out those wormy apples, those negative thoughts.

Really though.

Anyway, my prayer daily surrounds those intangibles. No, my nice automobile was gone. So what. That's some material mess.

(I was looking at Bentleys. I can afford a 10 year old Bentley if I wanted. Now THAT'S a nice automobile. LOL.)

Material things come and go.

And what I found most interesting is that I've been driving Pam the Protege for the past couple of weeks and I've been enjoying the cheese out of that for whatever reason. I tell you, that's the little car that could. And I actually prayed for that car. Lucy was my dream car, but if I'm being truthful about it, I was suppose to get that for myself for my 40th birthday. I didn't get that until I turned 42. So it wasn't that big of a deal. And the biggest reason Lucy got purchased is that I went out to crank up Pam and heard a "click" (dead battery).  I was planning on getting Lucy, but that was the day right there!

I have more to say about this. But I won't. I just had a couple interesting turning points in my thought life.

Not sure I explained the apples scenario well. I may have read something similar somewhere. Not sure. Heck, it may just be something that I understood while in the store myself picking out produce.

Anyway, let's end this post on a decent note.

The title... it looks like a typo.  WRONG. It is not.

This is a "Lucys" post. Plural. Means more than one.

Lucy, my beautiful Coach edition Lexus, was totaled. Got the check on Monday.

I'd like to introduce you to Lucy, Jr... an identical Coach edition (more gold, though) I picked up from a private seller on Thursday.

HA HA HA...

GLORY!!!!!

*church jog in the corner*

The circumstances of me coming upon this car has given me the shakes for the past couple of days. It's almost like it fell out the doggone sky or something.

Lucy Jr. was some lovely lady's spare car... just sitting in an carport collecting dust.

"You need to sell Lexi, Mom," her kids said. "It's in the way."

Hmm...

Mad interesting.

But I will just leave that alone.  I may blog about it one day.

But for now...

I will make sure I put the unacceptable apples back on the shelf. And pick out better ones.

I find that when I do that, it always opens the door for... something. Me? I was just looking for some peace of mind. Something else got ushered in with that.

Welcome to my family, Lucy Jr.

*cartwheels*

You have some good apples and a good weekend...

ON PURPOSE.