Gardens and Such, part XI

Much has been going on in the garden since I last did a garden update...

Well, not really that much. All I know, it is definitely cucumber time.

I've harvested at least ten cucumbers. And if I see another cucumber, I'm going to scream. It trips me out to go outside after a hard rain and see cucumbers just laying out on the ground.


I am not sure what's up with the tomato plant.

I have one plant, and that sucka is sprawling out of control, and has at least 40 tomatoes on it, but they are taking their sweet time turning red. But I have managed to pick a few that turned red, and they are VERY good, bursting with flavor. Wasn't expecting that at all!


As you can see, I'm also getting a few peppers. Not many, though, but about 5 or six. I threw a couple of those in a pot of collard greens... And yes, they made allll the difference.

There's a strange pepper growing on one of the plants. Not sure what kind it is, but it is big. If you know what it is, let your girl know. But for now, I'll just let it sit out there on the plant...

I have okra in the garden, but had pretty much given up on it. Some of the plants grew to about 2 feet tall, then just stopped growing. The last time I grew okra, the plants grew to 8 feet tall. I was thinking that I'd bought some bootleg seeds or something. Well, imagine when I walked outside one afternoon and saw this:



Yes... we have okra! But the problem with okra is that it grows real fast, which means I have to go outside everyday and pick it. That's gonna be a problem because I go outside every other day to look at the garden. (I'm so lazy!). But I think I can spare a few minutes going out and picking, ya know??

So that's the garden update for now.

Stay tuned for another!

What's really going on? Part II

Someone sent this picture via email to me. It is a picture of Fa.lcons quarterback Mi.chael Vi.ck dodging an angry pi.t bull.dog, with a caption stating "You are wrong for that."

Yeah, whoever photoshopped that up... they were wrong for that.

But that is probably how Mich.ael V.ick is feeling right about now.

And this is another story that has been on the news something fierce, especially here in the ATL. All the Falcons fans are down in the dumps over it. There are crazy protests, from fans and animal rights activists alike.

The newscasts spend the first few minutes of the show on this, and then they're like..."Well, anyway, in other news, two children were killed in a house fire today..."

Then they run right on back over to the Mi.chael Vi.ck story.

Really disturbs me. We can tell what's really important, can't we????

It's looking really bad for Vi.ck.

You know, I wonder what thoughts run through his mind concerning this matter, when he is all alone and the full entourage of friends are not around.

Is it "Dang, they caught me!" or is it... "How could my friends do that to me?"

Because, you know, it would be pretty jacked up if he knew nothing about what was going on. And for him to let his friends stay at the house.... I mean, his Virginia mansion was nice, and to think his friends were there running a kennel and do.g fighti.ng enterprise.

What kind of friends of those?

Again, with friends like those, who needs enemies?

They say innocent until proven guilty, but if Mi.cha.el V.ick didn't didn't have anything to do with it, then he knows a little something about what was going on. It's not the being involved that is crazy, but being associated with shady associates that can really have him looking crazy.

This is a lot worse than his "Ron Me.xico" problems. You remember that... when some chickenhead said that he gave her Herpes. She put alllll his bizness out in the street. She tried to sue him. She was paid off, and she kept it moving.

This do.g fighting thing is a lot worse than the embarrassment of everyone knowing that you got a little her.pes.

I was telling some coworkers that Mic.hael Vi.ck would have gotten over a lot better if he had some little kids from the projects out in a cage fighting and placing bets on them rather than some damn d.ogs fighting.

Ain't nothing worse than pissing off a bunch of an.imal rights activists... THAT'S what's gonna get him in trouble.

Because you know how much they love their do.gs, c.ats, wh.ales... and ET!

You know they've been staying up late at night making up their picket signs. And they came to the Virginia court house in big numbers, screaming hard and loud.

Vic.k, you're out on bail. I suggest you come down to the hood and do your shopping. No one will bother you down here. Because if you do your thing in your northside ritzy area, you're going hear a whole bunch of mouth in the checkout line. I wouldn't suprised if you got attacked. You know how peeps get emotional over their ani.mals!

Make sure to take some friends with you, too. You need some protection just in case some mess jump off.

Just not those friends that you got all caught up with surrounding this problem. Find some new friends.

What's Really Going On?... Part I

Uh... this is the first of two rant posts.

What's up with Lind.sey Lo.han and her whole crew (Brit.ne.y Sp.ea.rs, Pa.ri.s Hil.ton.?)

I know I shouldn't really give a flip... and I really don't.

But it's just the principle of the matter that disturbs me.

Why is it that everytime I turn on the news, or one of these entertainment shows, that I gotta see one of the young "starlets" out drinking and driving and getting arrested? No, I don't knock the partying, because we all partied at that age. But the drinking and driving... the drugging...

What's up with that?

And if I'm not mistaken, the behavior is being... glamorized.

They have alllll the resources in the world to get whatever help they need for their problems. There are people out here who WISH they could afford to get rehab at one of the ritzy centers. And they are just wasting it all away.

Maybe it's just me. I am not as popular as Par.is Hil.ton, Bri.tney Spears, or Lind.sey Lo.han. I don't have the huge entourages that these chicks have. But you best believe that if I was out somewhere drunk as hell, I could call up one of my friends, and they will come get me and make sure I got home safe (especially LadyTee, without a doubt).

So you mean to tell me that these chicks don't have people around them who will do the same?

Humph. They need to check out who they have around them then...

With friends like that, you DEFINITELY don't need enemies.

You know when it's going to become a real problem? When one of these girls are out drunk driving and they kill a carload of people. THEN it will be a problem. Right now, everyone is patting them on the heads, going "woo, woo, woo!"

With that said, I'd like to give a shout out to Raven Simone. You don't get all the publicity that these confused chicks do, but that's alright. Thank you for not getting out here driving drunk and showing your ass out in the street. The only thing they say about you, Raven, is that you've gained some weight. Don't pay the haters any attention. That's better than you being out driving drunk, snorting coke, and acting a fool.

Now you KNOW if SHE was out acting like she'd lost her doggone mind...

It would all of a sudden be a problem.

I'm sure you have had your isshas, Raven, but thanks for not embarrasing us...

Really though...

8 things tag

Alrighty Boys and Girls...

It's tag time.

I don't like tags. I have a tendency to walk around with a Wal-mart receipt in my pocket, scribbling tag points on it for many, many days trying to come up with whatever number of points needed to get the job done.

But once I finish, it's alllll good. I learn much about myself. I throw the nonpersonal stuff up on the blog, and keep the personal to myself. I will do the same here.

Blog fam yells... dang, Ladylee!!!

LOL. Boy oh boy, you all really love that personal ish, don't you? I may or may not put something here.

Believe it or not, I had more than 8 things, so I could pick and choose. And, I should be able to do this tag in one post. We'll see.

But if you are smart, I am sure that you can read between the lines...

So check it out... here we go.

1. I want a doggone Lexus soooooo bad. Not even a new one, mind you. I don't like the new ones. But I want a 2000 Lexus ES300.

There's a problem. I can afford it, but I don't drive much. I am chauffered to and from work by the Infamous Hen-Dog. Plus, I like not having a car note. So I don't see the point... right now, that is.

Therefore... I chill. And ride shotgun with Hen.

2. I hate calling people by their gub'ment names. In other words, I am a nickname fiend. If you don't have a nickname, then I will make up one for you. Not a problem. Not sure where this started. It is a pleasant way in which I entertain myself.

3. My English is incredibly busted, i.e., I am ebononically inclined. Don't correct my english. How dare you even think about correcting my English?*LadyLee takes you by the hand and walks you over to the wall where the doctorate degree so lovingly hangs*

I made GREAT sport of messing with my ex-husband's family in this manner. I swear, they were the most trifling folk I've ever met, yet they sat around correcting each other's english. I would sit there and split verbs and everything else... just to mess with them. They wouldn't dare correct me, and I think they knew that they would look silly if they tried.

Don't get me wrong. I can bust out and speak very properly if need be. I can even kill the southern drawl/accent if I have to. Thing is... it takes a lot of concentration. And I talk real slow when I do that. Either that, or I am EXTREMELY quiet.

I'm not hating on speaking properly. Never would I do such a thing, as it is the right thing to do. I thought the debate about teaching ebonics in school was totally ridiculous. I think I am the way I am because of the people I hang around. I remember when I was 10 years old, my grandmother was in college and was taking English classes. We had the most fun sitting around conjugating verbs, etc... She cleaned her language waaaay up. I respect her for that.

I'm just being me, that's all...

4. I would love to go back to school and get an MFA in creative writing. But I've pretty much had enough of school. It would creep me out to have to actually write for a grade. That is some craziness. I would probably flunk out from bad nerves. It takes me a moment to compose myself to write something for class as it is, and there's no grade for it. Things work a lot differently when I'm doing it just for the enjoyment of doing it.

5. In that same vain, I would love to go culinary school. But like I mentioned above, I just can't wrap my head around cooking for a grade. Now I would do these things on an audit basis. I just pay to go, and learn. But what use is that? Can you do that? Why drop 30,000 to 80,000 bucks to not get any credit. Hmm... I think I will just take my little writing class for now. How 'bout that?

6. I like to change lyrics to songs. I get ESPECIALLY giddy when I can throw "Oldgirl" into the lyrics and bust the English up a bit. I do this mostly when I am alone. No one really knows I do this, except for the Infamous Hen-Dog... He thinks it's funny, and tends to join right in.

Example: I have about 300 songs in heavy rotation on my laptop. One of my favorites is Teena Marie's "If I were a bell". Why? Because I can change the lyrics

"If I were a bell/Baby I would ring/Tell the whole world that you are my everthing."

Becomes...

"If I was a Oldgirl/Oldboy I would ring/Tell them Oldgirls that you is my everything."

Yes, this is stupid. And I am totally suprised that I am sharing this with you. But it is a personal quirk. Alas, another way I entertain myself while I'm out watering the garden or vacuuming the carpet! LOL!

7. I "drill write" like crazy. I like to write a bunch of stuff for no real reason, save for figuring out a character's personality. I didn't know that that was what I was doing until I heard an author at the Atlanta Writers Club mention it in his talk

"You better drill write, drill write, DRILL WRITE!!"

*Ladylee rearing back with a raised eyebrow and looking at him in pure horror. LadyLee knocks the **crickets aside** then furiously writes down the whole concept in her notebook*.

I have all kinds of stories laying around. And what's interesting is that I finish them. I won't do much with them, I like to dissect them. It helps me correct of some of my bad habits, problems, etc. I find two or three interesting things that I can snatch out and use elsewhere. Plus, I may or may not use them for class, etc... I even throw the short stuff up here on the blog from time to time. Most are too long to put on the blog, though. Ya'll would KILL me if I even thought about putting some 25 page ish on here!!! (That reminds me... there's another story week coming up in a few weeks.)

8. I am NOT a technology buff. I don't care for computers, internet, cellphones, none of that. I am STILL trying to figure out why I pay an extra 100 bucks a month for services that I got along just fine without some 10 years ago. When did it come to a point where anyone feels that they can't exist without their cellphone?

You wanna know how I got my first cellphone? No, I didn't go out and buy one. That would've meant that I was looking at the fact that everyone else had one, it's the trendy thing to have, and I just gotta have one. As a result, I refused to buy one.

No, it didn't go down like that. I got a call one day, back in 2001 I believe, from LadyTee. She had a cell phone and had been whining about how much I "needed" one. But I ignored her.

She called me up one day.

Land line phone rings.
"'Sup gal?" (my usual greeting).
"Lee, give me your social security number," LadyTee demanded.
"For what?"
"Shut up and give me your damn social security number."
"Why?"
"N**** shut up and give it to me!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*LadyLee frowning at the pure harshness of her tone.*

I gave her my social security number. Two days later, the FedEx man showed up with a cell phone. THAT'S how I got my cell phone.

The screens were green back then. I remember super shoe queen blogger Serenity23 and I yacking on IM one night and I told her that I still had a "green screen" cell phone, to which she responded with a "WHAT???" It was Serenity23 who taught me the fine art of text messaging, which bothered me for a while, but I do it if I have to.

I finally got a new cellphone a year ago when my "green screen" broke. Still, that does not answer the question... Since when is it that we became so dependent on technology???

Okay... I have offically fulfilled my tag obligations. Did you learn something about the Oldgirl. I have learned much about myself. And that's a good thing. But I am tagging others: Serenity23, Kayla, The DJ DIVA, Microphone Queen Sharon, Rosemarie, Rose, Sister Toldja, Luke Cage, Hassan... That's more than 8, and remember: it is optional...

Do what ya gotta do:)

Tag time and The Queens Mixtapes

This post is dedicated to my Book club sista (she know who she is)... she always be talking a bunch of crap. Why, just the other night, we had this convo at Viv's birthday bash...

"LadyLee, you coming out to such-n-such book event?"
"No."
"Come on Lee, you gotta come."
"Hell no!"
"I bet if Tayari was there you would come."
*Lee jumps up from chair and gets in book club sista's face*
"Yeah, I would be there. And I would know she's going to be there beforehand. You know why? Because she would have told me. What's it to YOU?"
*Lee kicking the Celie two-fanger point, daring her to say another word.*

We constantly have this convo. You got one more time to mess with me. One more time. One day, you gonna get your butt kicked. Keep talking trash, girlfriend, and see what happen.

Yeah. You know,haterade is not good for you, whether it's served hot or cold. Therefore, stop hating!!

I. am. such. a. jocker. I jock so hard. And not afraid to admit it!!

LOL.

You know, it is always good to get email from the Queen of Lurk City, Inc., a.k.a. Racer X, a.k.a. Miss Celie, a.k.a. Tayari Jones.

I got two... the first being, after inquiring about not understanding that she wanted mail...

"Lee, send me some mail."

She's at the Mac.Do.well Artists colony up in New Hampshire, doing some writing deep in the woods... I am realizing that this is something that these literary writers do from time to time- go off in seclusion somewhere and write until their hearts content. It kind of scared me when I saw some of the pictures of her studio up there. This place looks like something out of Friday the 13th. The first thing I thought was...

Be careful! Make sure you got your glock!

Second, she left something in one of my comment sections: "You've been tagged."

**Crickets**

I froze in my Nikes. I didn't know what to think, and was scared to hit up her blog to see what was up, because I knew it would be some CRAZINESS like

"Write a short story on this subject..."

That may have been simple enough, as I do have 3 or 4 short stories going right now. I sent her an email saying that I was busy (not an excuse... I am busy). But I went and looked at the details of the tag, and it ain't that hard.

But you know how longwinded I am. It's gonna take me a minute.

So this will play out over a couple of posts, I believe. Gotta break it up, ya know.

So here are the rules of the "8 things tag":
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Now, this wouldn't be so hard if I hadn't done a "10 things about me" tag last month. So now, I have to come up with eight additional things. That is hard, because an Oldgirl just ain't that interesting.

Also, I don't know if I can tag eight people. I know who I WILL tag though: THE DJ DIVA. Why?Because she cries and moans and kicks rocks if she doesn't get tagged. For some reason, she likes getting tagged. Go figure.

I don't want to piss nobody off, so I may or may not tag 8 people. And as always, if I tag you, it is all optional.

So, I will work on that a bit everyday. You know I am longwinded and "special", so it may take 2 or 3 posts...

So back to the snail mail that I sent to the Queen...

I didn't know what to send her. I wrote a letter that started out with:

Dear Celie...
Here in Africa, we wake up every morning to a breakfast of fruit and porridge...

LOL! I've always wanted to do that. (You remember that from the movie The Color Purple, right?) I know when she read that she was like...

"W-wh-what?"

I also sent her some CD mixes. I believe I sent her 6, including some 80's pop and some slow mixes. I wanted to send her more, but I could see her thinking...

Ladylee. is. a. freaking. STALKER!.

And we can't have that, can we?? (Even though she probably think it already, LOL. Not a stalker, man. A hardcore jocker maybe, but definitely not a stalker!)

This is an odd gift to send. She is an IPOD fiend, and a CD is probably totally archaic to her. I told her to rip the songs she like, and give the CDs to her buddies.

So here are 3 of the CDs I made. I drew all over them, and sent them in colorful CD sleeves decorated with pictures of her nicknames: Racer X, Miss Celie, and the Queen...

Racer X beats (thought about making this a rap CD, but uh... I believe the Queen isn't a big fan of rap! Kept it safe with some old uptempo favorites.)


This Place Hotel- The Jacksons
The Kissing Game- Hi Five
Little Walter- Toni Tony Tone
Off on Your own- Al B. Sure!
Show it- Brownstone
Every Little thing you do - Soul for real
Comfort Zone - Vanessa Williams
Love Makes no Sense - Alexander O'Neal
If it Isn't Love - New Edition
Lover Girl - Teena Marie
Fake -Alexander O' Neal
Come into my Life -Joyce Simms
Encore - Cheryl Lynn
Sensitivity- Ralph Tresvant

Celie Music (something to inspire her during her Celie writers break blues... and some ish that make you wanna drink a little liquor!)


Keep your head up- Chaka Khan
You can make it through - Kris Styles
Keep on Moving - Soul II Soul
I am not my Hair -India.Arie
Girl - Destiny's Child
Take me as I am- Mary J Blige
Fruit of Life -Brownstone
Gypsy Woman - Crystal Waters
Fairy Tales - Anita Baker
Theme from Mahoghany - Diana Ross
Maybe- Three Degrees
Bang Bang - Nancy Sinatra


The Queen's Colony Mix (a hodge podge/mix bag of music for the Queen of Lurk City)


Let's stay Together- Tina Turner
Ascension (remix) - Maxwell
Just a Touch of Love
Sweetest Taboo- Sade
Everlasting Love -Chaka Khan
Baby I'm scared of you - Womack and Womack
Been So Long - Anita Baker
Divas Need Love too - Klymaxx
Seven Whole Days - Toni Braxton
Work to Do- Vanessa Williams
She's Strange- Cameo
I am you Melody - Norman Connors
Angel in Disguise- Brandy

Ha! I think that's enough to keep her busy while she's running around deep in the woods.

Stay tuned for that tag!

Birthday Blasts!

Birthday Blasts, i.e., I want to wish a few peeps a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Happy Birthday to LadyTee's daughter, Milk-Milk, who turned 11 on June 19th.

Uh, that's the only pic I have of her...

(Yo Milk, bring your tail back over to my house so you can help me in the garden! You worked harder that day then the people in The Color Purple worked the fields! )

She's one the Atlanta Olympic babies. I remember LadyTee calling me up, and telling me that her doctor called to say everybody who is right up against their due date to get their butt down to the hospital and get induced because he was leaving town for the entire time the Olympics were there (as were a lot of people). LadyTee had Miracle ("Milk-Milk) on the first day of the Olympics. Quote: "Lee, I know how to get the Olympics started off right!!"

Really though.

Those were the glory days right there... So many people left during the Olympics that there was NO smog in ATL. Their was NO traffic. I was in grad school, and it closed for three weeks. I went and got a bootleg night job at a printer on the West side, printing out Olympic programs, and made 500 bucks.

Yes, those were the GLORY DAYS!

Happy Birthday to my book club sista Viv!! Viv lives about a mile from me, and she's a big fan of my cookies. From time to time, I throw a bag of them in the flower pot next to her front door.

So Viv... look out for a BIG ziploc bag (you KNOW I'm NOT a diva, i.e., I ain't wrapping them all pretty-like) of your favorite-- Oatmeal Raisin walnut cookies (if I have the walnuts, that is).


Yeah... You would like that many, wouldn't you...

Yo... one more thing.

Don't tell nobody... but I am in a gang.

We call ourselves the Financial Freedom Fighters.

FINANCIAL FREEDOM FIGHTERS... ACTIVATE!!!!!!!!


Ha ha... Thought I would throw that in there. My gang leader, uh, I mean, my Financial Freedom group leader's name is Erica, and today is her birthday...

So happy birthday Erica! We need to have a party and get a good poker game going so I can beat the other broads down and get FINANCIALLY FREE up in this mutha!!!!!

Yes... I can see her cringing HARD as I say that... LOL!!!

Thanks for all your help Erica... it's nice to have a bootleg financial advisor... You need to be charging for your services, mayne! Your enthusiasm and advice inspires me and ALL of the Financial Freedom fighters to do better...

Really though.

Happy Birthday to all of you!!

And many many more.

~LL~

Gardens and Such, Part X

The tenth garden update... Geez!


Okay, so check it out... we gonna go fast and keep it short. So don't blink, or you may miss something...


Here we go:


Seeing that I REFUSE to go buy a cute little garden basket:


Cucumber in a bootleg aluminum pan!!!



Cucumber cut up in a bootleg aluminum pan!!!



Cucumber all cut up in my lunch!!!

Hold up... hold up... something's missing.


Forgot to add the shredded smoked gouda!!



Yeah... That's how it go...


Any questions?!!

Didn't think so!

LOL!!

The Plant and the Great Realization...

Here's a picture of a plant that I keep at work. I'm not sure what kind it is, but it sits high on a cabinet to the left of my desk.

One of my bootleg "work-for-free" editors, Ol' Mean Ass Cynthia, a coworker who reads all the little things I write, was messing with it one day, and made the following comment...

"Lee, this plant is really growing all of a sudden."

"Uh, yeah."

"It means that love is about to bloom."

*LadyLee kicks the hard eyeroll and feels a bout of nausea coming on*

That sounds peculiar, don't it? Maybe because you don't know the story behind that plant. I got that plant from "Oldboy", the ex-husband, (when we were still married, yet separated) for our wedding anniversary, back in 2002 or 2003, I believe. He knows I like plants, but can't really have them around because of the cat. But he bought one anyway.

It was September 2002 or 2003, I forget which year, but it was the first year of Am.eric.an Id.ol, the night of the finale between K.el.ly Clar.ksto.n and Ju.sti.n G.ua.rin.i. I remember that I wanted to go home that night and watch the finale, rather than hook up with him and celebrate our Wedding Anniversary. I mean, how do you celebrate your wedding anniversary when you are separated? What kind of sh** is that???

Nevertheless, I decided to humor him. I'd been dodging him. He was having a rough time and had just been evicted from his apartment. I'd reluctantly (VERY reluctantly) muttered something about he could come stay with me if he wanted to, but he declined. (I want to prove to you that I can take care of myself). **HUGE crickets** *Lee breathing long sigh of relief, as Lee wanted to be ALONE*. But anyway, he was having a very hard time, and just wanted some semblance of normalcy, I suppose. So he planned to take me out to dinner, etc. I went along with it, reluctantly.

I remember driving up, and him jumping out of a cab (he didn't have a car), with a big ass plant. There were four different types of plants in the one pot (now there are only two). I wasn't carrying it into the restaurant- I sat in the back seat of my car, and we went in to eat.

I don't remember much about dinner... only that he was acting like we were still together or something. Telling me how much he loved me, etc.... I just sat there and smiled, not really saying much of anything.

Realizing for real... that I didn't have the same feelings.

He was staying at a hotel at the time. He asked if I could drop him back off there, and I said yes. Plus, I had another plan. The Oldgirl was going to watch the tail end of Am.er.ic.an I.do.l.

And I was also going to get some "d" if possible.

(Yeah, you KNOW I was thinking about that.)

LOL!

I laid across the bed, watching television, while he sat at a desk, writing something. I mean, he was concentrating pretty hard. I didn't bother him.

He said he had to be at work around 10 o'clock that night. It was a little after nine, I believe... So my plans of getting some loving were waning by the minute.

I realized for real while laying there... I really didn't care.

When the show went off, I decided that it was time for me to go. He looked a bit disappointed. But hell, he'd been sitting at the desk writing. And he had to go to work in the hotel. Too bad. I was way the hell up in Marietta, and I had a loooong drive back to the Southside. I was leaving.

He walked me to the elevator, and we kissed for a few minutes. Anyone who would have walked out into the hall would have thought that we some newlyweds or something, standing up there against the wall next to the bay of elevators kissing like that.

I must say that I did enjoy all that... but I realized something for real in that hallway:

I wasn't in love with anymore.

He shoved a card in my hand. I don't think I ever remember him looking so sad and upset. I left and went to my car and opened the card. It was a fancy looking thing, with "For My Wife" splayed across the front in gold cursive. He'd written a long note about how wonderful he thought I was and how much he loved me. It was beautifully written. I realized that that was what he was working on at the desk.

The drive home was about 30 minutes. The whole time, I was thinking...

How do I tell him that there is no chance of us getting back together again? How do I tell him that I don't love him?

I decided to let the ish ride. I was happy. Had a nice place, a good job, and was doing well. He was dead weight. Everytime we talked he was wailing about his problems. It really depressed me, and I didn't like that feeling. It's bad when you realize such a thing, you know. But it was what it was.

Was I being selfish? Probably so.

So I couldn't keep the plant at home. (The cats would have destroyed it!). I placed it in a big bag, and lugged it on the train, and took it to work the next morning.

And now it sits atop my cabinet. We stare at it curiously because it is still alive and growing strong...

Too bad I couldn't say the same thing for my marriage.

Gardens and Such, Part IX

Good merning, boys and girls!

A garden update is long overdue!

I haven't done a garden post because everything is taking it's sweeeeet time to grow. And that is fine by me, since I only spend an hour a week out there!

The bush beans stopped producing, and I pulled up all the bean plants. I think I got about 4 to 5 pounds of beans out of the garden. We ate most, but froze a couple of bags for later! I replanted those two patches and I should see the new crop on or about September 1.

So one more thing... The cucumbers are starting to bud.

Now I was quite excited about that!! Until I skipped outside to look at them the next morning and saw this:

I was looking at the two budding cucumbers on one plant and saw that out of the corner of my eye on another plant! Man... scared me so bad... I thought it was a snake. Let's just say an Oldgirl jumped sky high and ran into a tree.

*LadyLee jumping up real quick and looking around real fast to see if anyone saw her act a fool*

LOL LOL!!!!

I examined the other plants closely. I have about 5 cucumber bush plants. There are 3 large cucumbers out there, and they should be ready to pick in a few days.

Cucumbers grow pretty fast. One of the buds above is growing pretty fast. I took the first picture in this post on the 4th of July. I took the following picture on July 9th.

So they are growing pretty fast.

I planted some collard greens, and it looks like I have a handful of peppers coming in. I am trying to figure out the best time to pick those, though. The tomato plant is as big as a damn oak tree, with about 20 small tomatoes on it. Those should be ready in another week or two.

And you know I'ma have the pics for you, right?

So that's it, boys and girls, for the garden update!

See ya next time!

Kentucky's Baby

When I get home from work everyday, the first thing I do is pour myself a big glass of water.

When I got home the Friday before the 4th of July weekend, I opened the refrigerator to get my water, and I saw a brown paper bag on the top shelf. I am nosy as hell ("I wonder what Kentucky [my sister] got in that bag?)

I opened the bag and saw two baby bottles filled with milk.

*crickets*

I stood there a minute looking at the bottles. They were pretty bottles, covered in pretty little yellow and green flowers.

It crossed my mind that Kentucky had given birth to a baby and was hiding it upstairs!!

Naw, she ain't crazy.

She do stay closed up in that room a lot, though.

She wasn't home at the time. I had a good mind to go up there and pilfer around her room to see what was up. But I didn't. I did what I usually do: got my water and went and laid across the bed and watched Maury.

(Come on now... ya'll know ya'll like that show. "Rakim, when it comes to 10 month old Quantavios, you are NOT the father!!" *Embarrassed baby mama who was talking all that ish a minute ago runs off stage and collapses on a conveniently placed couch in a back corridor; happy accused baby daddy jumps up and does a hip hop dance* Ya'll know ya'll love that ish! LOL!)

I pretty much forgot about Kentucky. I think I even fell asleep for a minute.

I heard her when she finally came home. Not sure what time it was. She came in my room and her face was glowing, all smiles. I saw my cat Oscar-Tyrone, who'd been knocked out sleep at the bottom of the bed, jump up and immediately shoot under the bed.

"Look, Lee!"Kentucky yelled.

She held up a crate.

I was half asleep or something. I just remember thinking... "Damn, that's a strange looking cat."

I sat up in bed. "Uh, you went out and got a dog?"

"No, Lee. This is Mama's dog. She wanted me to keep it for a couple of hours."

I peered a little closer. "Um, is that a PIT?!"

Now when I heard this, the first thing I thought was that my mama was running game and has thrown a damn dog, a baby Pit bull, off on my sister. (Kentucky don't know how to say "NO!") A couple of hours could turn into a couple of lifetimes, and I was all set to have to make a phone call dear old Mom and tell her to come get her dog!

"What is Ma doing with a pit bull," I yelled. "That dog is going to chase her and Sage (her daschund) all around that doggone house!"

Kentucky went on to explain that our mother's next door neighbors raise pit bulls and that this one was the runt and that they were keeping it separated from the mother so that she wouldn't kill it. My mother had decided to hold the runt for them or to keep it (something like that; it all sounded terribly complicated). I am not sure which, and wasn't all that happy about investigating it.

"I'm just keeping him for a couple of hours."

Yeah right.

My sister took the puppy out of the cage and handed it to me. It had to have weighed no more than three pounds, and it was all stomach and head, LOL. I noticed that he had a couple of small black spots on him... and the spots were moving. (Fleas? Oh hell NAW!) He then pissed on me, which I was NOT happy about. As a result, I handed the puppy back to Kay. She took it in the kitchen, and fed it some baby food.

Please don't ask me what's up with that. I am still trying to figure out what THAT was all about.

"Mama said feed it some Gerber's baby food. That's turkey and rice."

*silence*

Then she poured some milk from one of the baby bottles into some bootleg eyedrop bottle and heated it in the microwave for a few seconds and fed the puppy.

"You've got to be kidding me," was all I could think to say.

What was really interesting was the puppy's attitude towards his pet lion.


He was wrestling that thing left and right.

I was like "Look at him. He violent already!"

I was tripping on how much she babied that dog. She fed him every few hours and she stayed up half the night with him. She even went to Petsmart and bought him an 8 DOLLAR can of pet milk. I've never laughed so hard.

But uh, what the heck happened to "I'm just watching him for a couple of hours?"

In other words... When is Ma coming to get her dog?

This dog had fleas. And he smelled like a dog. And Oscar-Tyrone was walking around looking shellshocked, looking at me like... "Oldgirl, I want a friend, someone to play with, but this is some craziness! Get rid of it NOW!"

LOL.

The whole situation was hilarious. I wasn't worried about where Ma was, because if the dog wasn't gone by the end of the weekend, it would be unceremoniously returned to her. I decided to let Kentucky have her fun.

Our Ma did come to get the puppy on Saturday evening. Thank goodness.

Milk and Cookies named the dog "Skeeter". He said that he named it that because he pisses everywhere. Leave it up to Milk and Cookies to come up with some idiotic name. He even took the puppy back to the military base for the weekend? (Milk and Cookies, can you do that, man?)

All in all, there was bit too much exictement around my house for a day and a half. That dog is terribly spoiled.

I'm just glad Kentucky wasn't hiding a real baby up in her room!

A ladylee 4th of July.

So yeah, I'm being lazy, and not posting much.

It is the holiday season, child!

And between writing for class and work, well... I'm too lazy tired to be posting, even though I have a SLEW of stuff to talk about.

That Original Oldgirl Chele wanted to see pictures of my 4th of July Feast.

Sorry hon... there was no feast. I threw some chicken on the grill, because my sister was off. That's about it. Didn't even take any pictures of it grilling. I worked on a flan recipe for a group meeting I have on Sunday... still working on getting it just right. That's about it.

But Chele! Never fear, my dear! I have some OLD grillin' pics I never posted, from when I grilled on some ol' non-holiday weekend.

So these are for YOU, you Oldgirl!

Yeah, that's it right there. Move a little closer to the screen, Chele so you can smell all dat!! LOL!!

Well, anyway, I was completely shellshocked that I had Tuesday AND Wednesday off. I haven't had 2 days off in a row all year. The Oppressor sho' nuff do like to crack a whip on an Oldgirl...

Really though.

So my major goal was to just sit on the couch and VEG out. Look at TV, read a couple of books, and do a little writing. I had some writing class homework to do, and as of July 1st, I am spending some time each day revising Sweet Heat, at the rate of one chapter per week. That throws me on some type of target for finishing the 2nd draft around Christmas. We will see!

But as I was sitting there on the couch MINDING MY OWN BIZNESS, wrapped up in my favorite throw, reading a book, watching Law and Order and Snapped marathons... and my phone rings. It is none other than our favorite snack Milk and Cookies.

Phone rings.
"Yeah." (my usual greeting for M&C. I rarely say hello, LOL.)
"'Sup Lee?"
"Nothing."
"I'm coming over. And I have one of my boys with me."
*Lee pitches a silent conniption fit*
"Dang man, give me an hour!"
"Alright. We just riding around. We'll be over soon."

Now, I'd heard through the grapevine that the little boy was in town. But I was trying to spend my two days off in the house in complete seclusion... with NO plans of entertaining anybody, or even getting dressed, for that matter. I made my sister Kentucky get her butt up and get herself together. (Yo Kentucky! Get up so you can entertain your brother and his folk.)

And at least he was bringing over one of his homeboys. If that boy brings one more chick over for me to grill, I'm gonna wring his damn neck. I can't STAND talking to his trifling women.

So I reluctantly got up and got myself together.

Milk and Cookies arrived a little later. I thought about not opening the door, but the boy has keys to my house, and he walked right on in.

He brought his army buddy Steve with him.

Real nice dude. I felt bad about catching an attitude earlier. Especially when he said... "I am so happy to meet you. Your brother talks about you all the time!"

Milk and Cookies likes to throw me up on a pedastal for some reason. I hear this a lot from his friends. He don't even try to play it off. "Hell yeah I talk about you, Lee. I'm proud of my big sister!"

So we hung out for awhile. It didn't help that there was a Snapped marathon on the Oxygen channel. We sat around and talked and watched that show.

And you know Milk and Cookies. Little negro always has to take a picture with whatever he happens to be rolling in at the time. He had the tricked out Grand Am on that day.

Milk and Cookies, those rims are PHAT, son! Maybe you'll pay them suckas off one day! LOL! LOL!

My neighbor Tiny stopped by. He scolded me something terrible because I wasn't answering my cellphone. *Lee, I've called you 4 times. Where you been? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!!!!!!"*

*LadyLee kicking the HARD eyeroll.*

Tiny can be worse than a woman sometimes. My phone was on vibrate. SUE ME. But thanks for checking up on an Oldgirl. I may not show it, but I DO appreciate it. (Even though you almost got smacked for fussing!)

He was doing his Pochahantes thing for the holiday. I had a vision of running and finding some scissors and knocking him down and cutting his hair (I am NOT fond of the Pochahantes hairdo.)

I soon realized that I'd been watching toooooo much Snapped. Makes an Oldgirl have a few too many violent thoughts...

So that was the gist of my holiday. Nice and slow, just like I like. I also did a little gardening, but I will save those pics for next time. Overall, it was a nice relaxing, low key day.

Just what this Oldgirl needed...