Sunday Sermon: You... and Your Friends

One day a few weeks ago, some of the ladies in the cubicle got the notion to play Youtube gospel music.

Morale is in the toilet, and it may be uplifting. Plus, it was somehow concluded that it kept management out of the cubicle area (You can draw all KINDS of conclusion for that).

I wasn't involved. I placed my headphones on my head, and listened to my EWF.

They'd decided later on that they would pull up some preachers. But no one didn't.

Except my cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre.

"Lee," she said, as she pushed play on a video on her facebook page. "Take a look at this. This is something we talked about awhile ago."

I scooted my chair over towards hers and watched the following 8 minute TD Jakes video.

Subject matter: the three types of friends in your life.



You know, I was looking at this and said to Cre, "I have to take some notes, because this is interesting."

But, I wasn't writing fast enough.

During this, I was whispering to Cre "What about them Ninjas! Them suckas you gotta watch, the ones who walk in and mess up your life, dropping carnage?"

She and I laughed. He ain't talking about enemies and frenemies. He's talking about people who come along to help you along your path.

Hmmm... Me and Cre had a talk about this long time ago. But my categorization of my friends was a little more complex.

I look at it in the light of us being temples. Only certain people are allowed in the very inner parts of the temples. Some folks are out in the temple congregation. Some folk are out on the temple steps.

And then there are those folks outside the temple gates. Waaaaay outside the gates.

We laughed about that. But you can't get folk mixed up and miscategorized, man.

But what was said in the video concerning Confidants, Constituents, and Comrads...

Wow. Very interesting take on things.

And the thing said in the beginning about character. Everything comes down to character.

People always tell me "Lee, you're a great judge of character. You always see something before everybody else."

No, I'm not being haughty. I don't deal to well longterm with characters that are a bit shady. I know that's one of my weakness. I don't tolerate much and I don't deal well with you ruffling my feathers.

On a deeper level, I don't feel the best about my character, and it helps me take a closer look at my own character and straighten things out. (That may be hard to understand, as I am the most wonderful Oldgirl in the world, but it's my way of working my own issues out.)

Those categories he spoke on were interesting, and I have my own thoughts on them.

Confidants. Those people in my life who love me unconditionally. People who feed and mentor me. They are with me, down for me no matter what. They ALWAYS have my back.

Only a few people should know what's going on within the deep depths of "inner-me". Because everybody can't handle it.

I am far from perfect, and don't like apologizing for being imperfect. There are very few people who understand the total arc of LadyLee and don't hold it against me.

Do you know there are people who try to make me feel guilty and take it personally when I have a bad day, or a bad spell? Those people... I suppose they thought they were special, or confidants or something.

NOT!

I'm bad about not talking to them anymore. I'm not going to be made to feel guilty because I'm hurting. Shows you don't know me.

Confidants. They are important. I need you when I'm in a bad way, need advice, need to rant, neet my tail kicked. I NEED YOU. I'm glad my confidants know that, and know how to work with me.


Constituents. People who are not really into you, but into your particular goals, missions, causes, and interests. Yeah! This is all over the place, especially in the blog community. We all online, and congregate based on interests, etc. I see it more than the other two types, all over the Bible. We tend to group ourselves in life in general.

Nothing wrong with that, as it is wholly important. Nothing negative there. I myself am down for a lot of different people, but at the same time, I don't think we share our whole selves with all of our constituents. Because it's not really important. We're helping each other reach that goal...

Comrads. People who aren't into you, aren't into your life's plans and purposes, but are against what you are against.

Me and Cowgirl Cre laughed about that. There's some comrad action going on at work, mayne! LOL

I think of the tea party stuff here. That's an easy one. And coming out against various diseases, etc, like the special breast cancer walks, etc. We all against the same thing, man! Let's work together to come against it mo' harder!

What I don't care for when it comes to comrads and constituents is the seasonal nature of each. They are there for seasons of my life, not for a lifetime.

And me, I tend to get attached to folks. I think it's just our nature as women to be that way.

As was said in the video clip, the scaffolding comes down, those people are gone, but the house is still there. I think that's a good thing. Although like I said, I get attached. The older I get, the more I understand the seasonal nature of some of my relationships.

The negative slant surpised me, yet it is something that I think about. He touched on something that I fully understand and am very mindful of.

Do not share your uncommon dreams with common folk.

I've been trying to get this through my sister's head. I told S23 this once, and she posted it up on her blog. (She does that sometime... makes me want to holler "Chick! That was a private convo between us! lol. But I think she thinks it will help some of her clientele, and that's cool).

But a HUGE clue to who is down for you and who is not is their reaction when you share with them a dream that you have.

THAT IS SO HUGE.

Do they turn their nose up? Or do they get critical?

I automatically put these folk on my outer-temple-gates list. Always criticizing. Messy. Taring me down.

Stuff don't even go that far with me. Because I look at something a little more telling.

How do you react to your friend's dreams, and to what level do your support your friends? Do you tare down your friends, cause a lot of mental carnage?

(Can you tell by now that I can't stand mental carnage??)

I look at that. I base a lot on that. I may be wrong for it. But I can't take you serious if you treat your peeps like crap. I'm certain you will treat me the same way.

It gives me insight into your motives and agendas. (You know how I feel about motives). It even causes me to examine how I treat my own friends, and make the proper adjusments. Really.

I wanna be the best me that I can be, and be the best help I can be to someone, whether in the role of confidant, comrad, or constituent.

This was a good clip. Glad I had a chance to see it, as it made me think, and confirmed a few things for me.

You all have a fine, fine Sunday.

On Purpose.