The Last Day of the Year, Part III: A New President

 I tell you... I don't care much to write about this  presidential election, but it is worth mentioning. So I will just write a little. And I will try to put a different spin on it. 

But I tell you, this doggone election has plucked my LAST nerves. 

And at the same time, it feels good to hear it announced when President-Elect Biden is going to give a speech, as he has been doing as of late. I stop what I'm doing and I sit down and I listen. And boy or boy it feels good to hear someone speak in complete sentences. Just to hear someone who cogent, who isn't treating this like some big comedy skit makes me hopeful. 

But Trump is still around, doing everything he can to seemingly sabotage the whole peaceful transfer of power process.  And whenever he was giving a speech over the past couple of years I was in search of my remote control so I could turn the channel. And if I couldn't do that, I would just leave the room. 

It was frustrating. I mean, I grew up watching the Presidents give speeches. This one, not so much. If he read from the teleprompter, that was fine. But the comedy schtick and the stretched truths.. no sir. Not today, Sir. I cannot.

Over the past couple of weeks, I read a book that helped me understand all the shenanigans. It has all been very confusing.  And I needed this book out in 2016.

I now have a fundamental understanding when they have been wailing on the political news shows about how this is an attempt to destroy our democracy.  After reading this book, I'm like... OH! Ok. 

Because that's what's going on. And the problem is that Trump is nowhere near as smart and savvy as these past dictators. They were tactical. They were diabolical. Our beloved president seems like he is... brooding, and just having tantrums.

These dictators had their opponents jailed, exiled or killed. They killed MILLIONS of people. If you were against whatever ish they were doing, or if they even so much as thought you were against what they were doing, you and your families and anybody that knew you were dead. Period.  Didn't matter how you died... guillotine, gunshot, set on fire, gas chambers, whatever... they got rid of folks quick, dirty and in a hurry.

Thank goodness we have a Constitution. That is saving us. These dictators got rid of their forms of the constitution AND the opposing parties. I mean, it was CRAZY.

We here in the USA appear to have some guardrails (democracy). But doggonit, we are slamming against those guardrails something awful. I want to go back to a time when the proverbial car was just kept in the middle of the road. 

But it was helpful to read that book. It was such a sad book, though. All the killing and torture was horrible. And I learned that a thirst for hunger and power is never satisfied. ALL that ish comes to a bad end. The seed sown... let's just say you eventually reap what you sow. Period.

And now I understand how the cult of personality, the "Fake news" chants, the lies and all that comes together.  Here is a list, the blueprint for establishing a dictatorship and destroying a democracy, from the book. (Source: Strongman: The Rise of Five Dictators and The Fall of Democracy by Kenneth C. Davis)

Does any of that look familiar??  Gives me the creeps, I tell you.

It was so crazy to read about Mussolini, Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Saddam Hussein and how similar the environments are between what is going on now and what went on back then.  It was fascinating and scary at the same time to read about. The horror the people suffered is unimaginable. But the groundwork, the silent groundwork and the buildup, was terrifying to read about. The whole emphasis on making the country great again was startling. 

Because that is what we are going through right now. 

And it's not over. Who knows what will happen on January 5th and 6th. Ugh. 

I know one thing... it is all emotionally draining. And anyone or anything that emotionally drains me on a daily basis demands further consideration as to why... and that book right there really gave me an understanding of what will happen if our democracy is thrown out the window. 

Ugh.  

Congratulations to President-Elect Joe Biden. 

He's no savior by any means, but Lord help us... we just need someone in office who will take their job seriously. No havoc, no messiness, no tweeting... just be President. 

And realize this is not a comedy or reality show. 

And just don't emotionally drain me. 

That's all that I can ask and hope for. 

Last Day of the Year, Part II: The Passing of My Mother

 This year, my mother died. 

We had her cremated, and we didn't have a service. 

"I would feel horrible if we had a funeral, and someone catches the covid at the funeral. This burying people back to back to back,..." my sister lamented. 

"I understand," I said. "That may be what's best. And I hope no one has a problem with you over it."

And she was right. Funerals have been known to be superspreaders.  I don't, and no one else, I reckon, wants the memory of someone catching covid at our mother's funeral. If someone got ill, or God forbid, died, that would be tatooed on our conscious forever. And let's not even talk about the guilt of it all. 

So there was no funeral. Hopefully there will be a memorial service when this is all over.

Although it has been four months since her passing, it is still mindboggling, since she has always been larger than life. 

I don't know how to feel about it. I still get teary-eyed over it from time to time, like, when I hear an old 70s song (she loved old school music).  She and I didn't have much of a relationship, and I'd only seen her on a regular basis over the past couple of years. I was doing all I could to help my sister Kay, her primary caretaker, take care of her. And this always felt strange since I have felt like an outsider in my own family. 

But I myself have been in the hospital a couple of times over the past 20 years, and it helps to have a familiar face around. And that is what I considered myself... a familiar face. 

A familiar face.

It was a normal thing for me over the 1.5 years before her passing to leave work in the middle of the day to take her to dialysis, or to go visit her at the hospital when I got off from work. We would just sit and watch television, sometimes the news, or some show on the cooking channel. I remember having to talk to her about not giving the staff a hard time. (She was a unique personality, she was.)  This was a problem in the nursing homes and rehab centers. And there was a bit of contention between her and myself when she would criticize us, mostly my sister. I wasn't doing well with that at all. 

But a couple of days before her death, when she'd been on life support, I remember visiting her in hospice care. I remember my sister playing gospel music on her cell phone, and us anointing her head with oil and praying prayers out of my prayer book. We just sat with her for awhile. Me and mother have the same hands, and my sister took a picture. 

I was surprised at the warmth of her hand.

Of course it was warm. The machine was breathing for her. 

I was little taken aback because I had only seen my sister once or twice since the quarantine and covid had begun-  only once or twice in a four month period. It felt good to just see my sister up close. To sit in the lobby alone with her and relax... to touch her and hold her hand. Just to sit and talk to my sister was something that eased my mind. 

And that night was the last time I saw my mother. She passed a couple of days later, the day after my sister's birthday, and the day before my nephew Justin's birthday. I was not present, but my brother and sister were. I offered to come down and just sit in the parking lot. But my brother and sister that there were too many people down at the hospice, and they needed to keep me safe during the covid. 

I was glad that they were there when she took her last breaths. They had their closure and I had mine. 

I met my brother and sister at the crematorium to retrieve the urn of her ashes. I was not sure why I should be there. After all, they were just picking up ashes. But it meant something for us to stand together with her urn while a stranger snapped a picture of us. It is a memory to have. And again, during this time of social distancing and covid confusion, I got a quick chance to touch my brother and sister. It was good to joke and laugh with them. That meant so much to me. 

I think what is particularly painful for me is that most of the relatives that raised me are gone, either through death or distance. Or even relationships are no longer there.  My past is gone. I have friends in their 50s who feel the same way. There is a lamenting of sorts of the people who knew and raised us are gone or not present. 

Our childhoods are mere memories that we can only touch with our minds. It meant much to have people who loved me, who I could just "me" around. I am a difficult personality, and they still loved me. That is mostly gone.

And that is very painful. And I feel a little caught off guard. 

Last year (or perhaps the year before), I read an interesting book for book club. I think it is one of the best books I have read in the last couple of years. 

The name of it is City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert.

There was a quote near the end of the book that brought me to tears, as it described how I really felt.

"This is what I've found about life, as I've gotten older: you start to lose people, Angela. It's not that there is a shortage of people- oh heavens no. It is merely that - as the years pass- there comes to be a terrible shortage of your people. The ones you loved. The ones who knew the people that you both loved. The ones who know your whole history.

Those people start to be plucked away by death, and they are awfully hard to replace after they go. After a certain age, it can become difficult to make new friends. The world can begin to feel lonely and sparse, teeming through it may be with freshly minted young souls. 

I'm not sure whether you've had that feeling yet. But I've had it. And you may have that feeling someday."  

I've had that feeling. 

I was so taken aback when I read that. They were words that brought my feelings to life. They were words that expressed what I couldn't. And I am thankful for that. 

My mother, she was larger than life. And me and my sister were talking one day, and we found that we were thinking the same thing... we really hoped she found the peace she always sought on the other side. 

Rest in peace, Ma. We miss you.

The Last Day of the Year: The Washing of Masks

 I like to reminisce on my year on the last day of the year... 

And of course, when I think of the year 2020, I will think of the covid-19 pandemic. 

Sigh.

And a picture that sums it up on my end is the washing of masks.

Who on earth would've thought that "masks" would be the order of the day, the common thing?

I remember back in March, I was at a lost as to where to find an actual mask. And, no one was particularly sure if we needed them or not. I managed to get a 10 pack of surgical masks through a restaurant on ubereats. I was so proud to have found some. But then a friend of mine told me to go look on Etsy. I ordered masks from three different vendors. Then I ordered more from a vendor whose masks I liked the best.

So now I think I have ten cloth masks. I wanted the ones with the filter pocket. Why? Because I got the notion to buy a air filter so that I could chop it up. 

I chopped that filter down into little filters just large enough to fit the filter pockets of my masks.

This has all become a ritual of sorts. I wash my masks by hand in detergent and hot water twice, I rinse them thoroughly, then I soak them in boiling hot water for about thirty minutes. Then I hang them on a
plastic hanger and let them dry overnight. 

Then I place my cut filters in them and store them in a plastic bag. 

(I learned most of that on YouTube. Thank goodness for YouTube).

I only venture out into the world once a week at the most, mostly for groceries or medical appointments. And I will change my mask two, perhaps three times. So I wash masks every 6 to 8 weeks on average.

And that has become the norm in 2020.

Who would've thought that would have been a portion of my focus in 2020?

Hopefully this is a once in a lifetime type of situation.

I remember in early April of 2020 just breaking down and crying in the shower one morning because I was so confused and scared.  No one seemed to know what was going on, and just the mere shock of everything- job, church, theaters, etc.- everything closing down just messed my head up.

I have had moments like that all year... even lately.

2020 is coming to a close. I am hoping that the pandemic will end in 2021.  I am not sure how much longer we can all go on like this. People are missing family and whatnot. I am not a big family person, but I miss my sister and nephew, the only family I have close contact with these days, even prepandemic.

For me, the deeper problem is the unknown...the presence of the unknown and no idea of the solution. I can't control or solve it. 

I can only depend on God and be thankful to see another day.

Because so many did not live to see another day, or a new year on the horizon. 

And until this thing is over... 

I will continue washing my masks. 

Wordless Wednesday: The Little Saxophone Man's Favorite Christmas Gift

The Last Ten Tuesday Thoughts of 2020

 Here we go.  The very last Tuesday of the year is worthy of ten thoughts. Of course it is.

1. I tell you what: I am sick and tired of these doggone senate campaign commercials. I counted, and there are about 20 of them per hour running on our local channels. If that is not a commercial in itself for using the streaming services, I don't know what is. Ugh.

2. Sadly, I think both Orrsof and Warnock will lose.  This is a southern state. 

3. I have done a TON of writing during this covid season. I have almost completed a short novel. I am happy for that, especially since I don't care to write long form fiction. There is just so much to think about. 

4. I haven't read as much as I like. But I do well when I read an hour a day. I think I enjoy the ability to sit and be still and quiet for an hour moreso than the reading itself. I feel like I just need to chill with no noise. Just me and the book, and not the busyness of the noise from the TV or streaming music service.

5. Wednesdays and Saturdays are my clothes washing days. I went rogue today on a Tuesday and washed two loads of clothes. If that's not living on the wild side, I don't know what is. 

6. My master bedroom is on the first level of my house. To punch a little variety in my life during these times, I will sleep upstairs a couple of times a week. It is funny, because sometimes I wake up and it takes me a minute to figure out where I am. LOL

7. I have the spotify streaming service for my music streaming, but I think I listen to the same 100 songs over and over again. Sigh. 

8. When I read, I like to highlight words I have never heard, or I can't pronounce. Some of the words I have highlighted from the latest book I am reading: accreted, pedantically, pilloried, truncheon,  counterrevolutionaries, archetypal. I look up the word and I hear it pronounced. I like to think I am increasing my vocabulary, but I know I will never use these words again. 

9. My cats Mitch and Callie have had me around for the past 10 months. They like to use me as some type of prop.  It's like they are saying, "Instead of laying in my cat bed, I am just going to lay on LadyLee."

10. I don't feel like I've accomplished much this year, but in these covid times, it seems like not catching the virus and staying alive is one heckuva accomplishment. 

Okay, that is the very last Ten Tuesday Thoughts.

It only took me about 20 minutes to do. 

And that is awesome.

The Last Monday of the Year...

 'Tis the last Monday of the year.

And I want to make sure I post this week, as much as possible. 

I have NO plans for the week. None at all. As a matter of fact, I am even on leave from work this week. But I will still be working because I have a report to write, well half of a report. I don't have the data for the other half. Someone at work, who wants to be at work, is working on that. He is off for 2 weeks, so I am taking this time to just catch up and have my thoughts together for when he gets back next week. 

Today, I ventured out to the grocery store. I needed to pick up a prescription. And do some shopping. I needed a couple of things but I ended up spending much more than I cared to. Is it just me or are groceries much more expensive now?  I do better if I just get grocery delivered. Really.  And I think that will be the situation for the new year.

While on the HIGHLY gentrified side of the neighborhood, I ventured out to a local salad bar. LadyTee recently visited it, and she had rave reviews. The name of the salad bar is Salata.

I walked in there and immediately thought, good gracious alive, I bet these gentrifying white folks LOVE this. Man oh man, they have upwards of 50 toppings for your salad. 50!!! Whew. Their motto, eat good, look good, feel good is an understatement. 

Personally, I saw Salata on ubereats and they had a salad dressing I like: Jalepeno Avocado. I saw that I could order a jar of it. And since I'd been doing my grocery shopping at a Publix in the same plaza, I decided to go investigate as it first opened, when there weren't many people in there. (This has to be only the second or third time I have walked into an establishment for takeout since the pandemic started. It is highly unnerving).

I think I paid $10 for my salad and $7 for the dressing. Talking about something GOOD. Wow. I got two huge meals out of it, as I ate half the salad for lunch and half for dinner. Wow. I usually make my salads at home, but I will be ordering from them from time to time, if only for the jar of dressing. 

But that was the gist of the day. I came home and did some reading and watched a little television. The day went by in a blur, I tell you.  Pretty much like the year. Ugh. 

Movie of the Week.  Soul by Disney Pixar

I have watched a lot of movies and episodes of anything this year, and I am always glad to see a good movie with a good message. This had it all. There were quite a few black characters, but Disney still has some work to do on that. But it was overall good. It is about a middle school music teacher who has regrets about his dreams and learns the lesson of finding ones purpose.  It is something that will most likely go over little kids heads, but it made me think about my own purposes and goals. 

I'm not going into a big critique/description, etc.  Watch it and make up your own mind. I know one thing: animation is coming a long way. The new innovations... wow!

Song of the Month.  Busta Rhymes and  Q-Tip "Don't Go"

I think I like this song because it is calm. And they are not mumbling. I think I am getting old. And Busta and Q-Tip are my age. Busta is 48 and Q-Tip is 50. So I just think we are all in the same age group and they are making something I like, lol.

I must say... I don't really listen to as much music as I use to. Sigh. I like older music. I can't tell you what the hot 2020 songs right now. Nor do I care. 

That is all for now. I promised myself that I would write for at least 30 minutes a day, just to have a record of my thoughts and issues faced this year. I can do that, can't I?  I know it would turn into me needing a good hour or two a day to lay out the good and bad of the year. But it has all been on my mind... 

This covid season has been... whew! 

Have a good Monday... and a good final week of the year... 

On purpose. 

Merry Christmas 2020

 

Who would've known that this Christmas would be so full of pandemic and uncertainty?  

Yet here we stand. 

So keep standing. And enjoy the day.

Merry Christmas! 

Rest in Peace John "Ecstacy" Fletcher

Ecstasy of the rap group Whodini has died.

No cause of death was disclosed. Man, it is sad. Whodini was one my favorite rap groups. And they were a group playing at the first concert I attended back in 1983. Favorite songs... so many, but my favorites were "One Love" and "Big Mouth"

Ten Tuesday Thoughts

 Aha! I am back.  With some thoughts. Hell, I probably have enough material for 100 Tuesday thoughts. 

But I will keep it at 10. 

1. The whole blogger publishing format has changed, and I had been waiting for others to complain about it and for all the bugs to be straightened out. I couldn't load up pics or anything. So I THINK it is straightened out. Not sure.

2. I do a lot of writing right now, so I'm not really interested in blogging anyway. 

3. But I do like the extra personal writing here, and the pictures. So I may continue as long as they don't keep screwing with the formats.

4. And I don't want to too much write about the pandemic. So depressing.

5. I don't really even want to write much about the presidential election. So depressing. 

6. But on the real... we have a new president. GLORY.

7.  That is... pending that the current coup setup doesn't work. You never know. I am staying in the house behind clothes doors, and watching out the window like Pearl from 227. 

8.  I have been working from home for nine months. Sigh. I am in the acceptance stage now. 

9. Not happy about the weight gain. I am not as active, and I am SLOW. Ugh

10. Taking into account what is going on in the world, those are high class problems. They can be solved. 

There we go!  I think it worked. I was able to load up pictures and all seems to have gone nicely. Oh joy!! 

Back in action. 

On purpose.

Ten POLITICAL Thursday Thoughts

Ten Thursday Thoughts... with a politics slant... YES.

  1. This guy right here.

2. Excuse me... this is our beloved president. That photo is one we all, if you're over 40 or so, have taken at our local Sears and/or Olan Mills photography spot.

3. Since the debate, all the journalists heads have been on fire. And rightfully so.

4. Me, I'm just annoyed. I may have to extend my no-news weekends into the weekdays. 

5. Hot topic right now: this white supremacist mess. How hard is it to condemn them? We know you would be lying. Just say it, feign shock at it all, and move on, Sir. Wow. It's like he chokes up when asked about all that. 

6. His supporters don't care what he says... afterall... 

7. Look how we stone cold forgot all about his interesting tax problems. 

8. However, another hot topic right now: poll watchers. Folks coming to polls to intimidate people, I guess. Not sure what that is about. 

9. I already have a plan. Going down to a hood spot and voting. Ain't NOBODY coming up in there talking trash. They not having. I went there during the early voting of the last presidential election. I was in and out in 5 minutes. Pleasant experience.

10. There is a lot going on. However, I had to look back over my life, especially the past 30 years, and I have to say, unequivocally and with no doubt, that I have experienced increase and growth in virtually all area of my life, no matter who the president is. 

You know why?

(And I told one of my Trump supporting friends this...)

Because God takes exceptionally great care of me. 

That is what I have faith in, and what I will stand on. 

A lot of this is disrupting my peace... and anything that cost me my peace is too expensive. 

This is, like, a textbook study in mental chaos. 

And besides, you all do know that we know only a miniscule amount of what is really going on, right?

I am just saying... hmm.

Y'all have a great Thursday!

TWELVE Tuesday Thoughts

 Here we go with 10, no TWELVE thoughts on a Tuesday... 

1. So this is some 6 months in for teleworking for me. By this time, I am having to tell myself... it is going to be alright.

2. My supervisor was talking about returning to work next year. LAWD help me... Jesus take the wheel. 

3. I cannot STAND commercials that have people snoring in them. It is worse than the dragging of fingernails down a blackboard. Ugh.

4. I have some oranges sitting out on my counter. That doesn't sound strange. Let me be more specific: I have some oranges that have been sitting out on my counter for three months, and there is not a speck of mold on them. Who knows what the heck is sprayed on them to keep them looking super fresh. Ugh.

5. Sister Callie Jo and Big Mitch have decided, since I am always home, that I am a prop. They will run up on me and just lay on me for no reason. 

6. The fourth and final quarter of the year is coming up. I must sit down and make some goals... financial, spiritual, mental and physical. 

7. I talked to a neighbor today. She told me about a nearby house. which is now a drug house, looks like. They are super loud, arguing and stuff like that. That is all I notice, and that is rare. Gone are the days when there was just super loud music. Now they just off the chain. Once a week, I am uttering "Why is that chick down the street always fighting with her man?" 

*LadyLee stays out of the way*

For the most part, I would say it is quiet around her 98% of the time. And I am good with that. 

8. The ai.rbn.b next door has calmed down considerably. I barely notice if anyone is there. Turns out the neighbors had a talk with the homeowner. He must've threatened his tenants.

9. What is up with our beloved president and his taxes? And I was just telling a friend a few months ago, that somebody need to drop them taxes in the mailbox to all the major newspapers. SOMEBODY got them taxes laying around. And boy oh boy, somebody did. WOW. Prez is getting over, ain't he?

10. The debate comes on tonight. I MIGHT watch it. I am not sure. I may just wake up and watch the highlights in the morning. I just want Biden to do well and show no mercy, man. SOOO sick and tired of these elections. Ugh. 

11. And can I tell you I am tired of these doggone political commercials? It's like they beat me over the head with them. The ones that really get me are the ones with female voiceovers. They speak in low docile tones, all scary and shit. It's like they are saying... White people, be afraid... the brown people are coming to get you.

12. I am doing the early voting, specifically down in East Point. There will be no confusions down in the hood. You vote, then get out of here. Look for your keys down in your purse on your way out to your car. Just move on. 

And I am down for that. 

Looka there, as my Grandma always said.  I got in TWELVE Tuesday thoughts. Oh joy!! 

I tell you, 2020 is a year we will all look back. This is one for the ages here.

Have a happy Tuesday... on purpose. 

Friday Freestyles

This has been such an odd couple of weeks. 

Blogger changed a bunch of little stuff and I had a little trouble accessing my site. So I have to just use a computer I don't like using to post anything. And that is fine. With all that's going on, I rather have that problem than anything else. Ugh. 

Man... The Notorious RBG has departed this earth! Wow. 

I was sitting in my living room chair when they announced it. I yelled an expletive that I am more than sure could be heard up and down my street. 

She tried her best to hold on, but couldn't. So, an administration that has been dragging its feet on everything, now is moving fast to replace her. Funny how fast one can move when one is motivated. 

And with that said, the Covid-19 still roams amongst us. Ugh. I am not sure when this will end. I have been teleworking (if you can call it that) for a little over six months. I am past numb now. I am just day by day, and hoping we can return to normal soon enough. 

I had a dentist appointment this week, and I don't think I'd been out of the house to go anywhere since September 6th. I was so happy to see my dentist. I wanted to ask him, "Can I work here once a week, and just take out trash and sweep?" LOL

I want so much just to get back to a sense of normal, where I have some type of routine and the like.  I never thought I would even feel that way. And I have to, at the same time, remind myself that people have lost family and friends to this virus. So me feeling the way I feel about my situation is a small thing. I know that. I am allowing myself to feel, and I work on just trying to encourage myself. And I am making sure to open up and talk about my feelings when I can. And journaling everyday helps a whole lot, more than I would ever know.

The Election is around 40 days away. People get mad, but I been telling folk that there is no way that the current president is going to leave office. He's just not going to do it. He is going to scrap the whole thing, and we just have to deal with it. I think he will stay in until his death. And the punk azz congress won't do a thing about it. That is what we get. I will vote, nevertheless.

I think things will get a little crazier with all this before it gets better. I am so thankful for my no news weekends. I may have to extend that into the weekdays. This is messing with my peace of mind.

Song of the Week. I have been watching the New Edition Biopic. That has to be the best series I have seen in a while. So I am posting my last favorite song by them, and two songs I liked back in 1983.  

Those guys have had a great career, with all its ups and downs in tow. 

That is it for me. The weekend is nigh. Not sure what that means. But I am just happy to see another weekend. That is how I have been approaching it... on purpose. 

Wordless Wednesday: Scoot Booty... Nephew Justin!!

What's with the Weather?!? Part II

So a couple of weeks ago, I was perplexed over this complicated hurricane map.

Two hurricanes doing something crazy like crossing up paths or something. It was just odd, as I don't remember anything like that jumping off before

Now this week, look what's happening.

FIVE hurricanes coming our way. FIVE.

Sally, Paulette, Rene, Teddy and Vicky.

It's like a whole family of hurricanes just decided to get together and roll out. All at once.

Oh my. I don't even know what to say or how to feel about this.

This weather.

It's too much.
Sally makes landfall tomorrow. Hopefully some of these hurricanes will fizzle out in the Atlantic Ocean, because we just can't handle all of this.

What's with this Weather!?!

One of the best things I do for myself on the weekend is to not watch much news. None of the weekend news shows that come on Sunday mornings, none of that if I can help it.

But I watch the evening news shows, like World News Tonight.

My big thing right now besides the pandemic is... what in the world is going on with the weather!!??

So I snapped this picture off my TV screen last week...

That is San Francisco. Just RED. And that is in the morning. They were told to turn on their high beams and go slow. Yo, how about I don't even go out that day. Cancel doctor appointments, tennis appointments. All that. What in the hell is that? Literally!

Then this graphic just really messed me up.

Nearly 15,000 firefighters? Oh my.

But what really help me understand the scope of it all was the map of fire locations on the west coast:

Now, I thought there was just one fire, like, over in California. I didn't know that there were too many to count, all up and down the west coast. That is almost too much to take in. No wonder there are so many firefighters involved. My goodness. Whole communities are burnt out carcasses of themselves.

Now, one of my favorite authors took a photo of her car in the morning. I think she lives in Los Angeles, which is nowhere near the fires. And even with that said, there is plenty ash on her car.

That is CRAZY. And just imagine the respiratory issues that are being aggravated and that will produce issues. Ugh.

Over thirty people have died in the fires, and a lot of people are missing. That makes it even more exasperating.

This has been on my mind heavy, and I sure included them on my prayer list. I wish that they could get some of this rain we've been getting. That would at least help.

Sigh.

Friday Freestyle: 9-11 Editon

Friday is here.

This week went by super fast. Which is really a good thing, since I am sitting at home. I am attending a conference right now, which is holding about 50% of my interest, if that. I am picking up little nuggets of information here and there. Nothing mind blowing. Right now it is just something to do, I suppose.

Today is 9-11, the anniversary of perhaps one of the most tragic events in the history of our country. (And I am speaking modern history within the last 50 years or thereabout). I tell you right now, I am SHOCKED that such an occurrence has not happened on that scale multiple times in our country since then. Just shocked. So at the same time, I am so thankful that we have been relatively safe from such large scale tragedy of that type.

I remember where I was. I have been on my job for 19 years now, and I had only been on this job for about three weeks when the Towers fell. I was at a conference. I cannot remember the name of the conference. It was in Denver, Colorado, and it was work-related.

I remember for a few days prior, this overwhelming sense of foreboding. (I have been trying to think of a word to describe what I was feeling... "foreboding" is the word for it). Something was wrong. And I automatically thought that I shouldn't fly to Denver, but that wasn't it. I flew there, made it there safely, and attended my first day of meetings. And a day later, on a Tuesday morning, when those jets hit those towers, I heard loud and clear on the inside... that was what's wrong.

I have not felt that way about anything sense then. It may be that my mind and heart are so cluttered, that I don't get quiet enough to hear much of anything. I don't know. I just know, if I don't have to feel that way ever again, fine by me. FINE.

What I do understand now is one thing, and it has been the subject of many a food-for-thought on this blog over the past 15 years:

Not only is the tragedy immediately devastating, but the long term residual effects of it are devastating, even much so.

Residual effects.

The residue of what is left behind after the clean up is over.

The mental residual effects. The mental residue.

That is what we are living in now... the residual effects of 9-11. 

And we will soon be hopefully living with the residual effects, the residue, of the coronavirus...

And we will survive it all.

Believe that.

Amen.

Ten Tuesday Thoughts

I don't even know that I have enough thoughts for my 10 Tuesday Thoughts. But let me see if I can try.

1. I signed up for a food methods conference a couple of months ago. I was good with it as long as it is virtual.  And it is.

2. I thought that this conference would be from September 8 through September 11th... something close to that. Why is this conference lasting from the 8th to the 24th? O_O

3. And it is one of those conferences that does not contain that much interesting chemistry. Sigh.

4. What I learned today: there is some type of test in development for detection the C-19 virus on surfaces. And that the coatings on bags and containers used to hold food, etc., can leach out! Hmm.

5. Otherwise, this has all barely held my attention. Sigh.  And I am still stuck on having to deal with this until September 24th. Ugh.

6. I hate to admit this, but I struggle with foreign accents, so some of these talks have been O_o. I do what I can just to concentrate and pick up on some important points. I hate to admit that, but it is what it is.

7. We are closing in on the 6 month mark of not going in to work, but just teleworking. There are some who are bored, and going in voluntarily. Not me. No way. Might touch the wrong thing, and end up looking crazy. They still don't have a good plan in place. As of now, I am just being safe and staying home.

8. My supervisor told me during my review that I need to display more confidence. I took that as him wanting me to get caught up in the male diva BS that goes on in our group. Sorry sir, I am not a costar in the reality show.

9. I told someone, I speak up/suggest/volunteer once... I speak up/suggest/volunteer twice.. that is it. If you ignore me, I am done. Ladylee's goal is not to get stressed out and drawn into the drama. Too many times I have been kicked to the curb in my workgroup. At this point, I just need my paycheck every two weeks.  Please and thank you.

10.  My favorite retort:  "Man, I ain't got time for this craziness... I'm trying to write some stories."

Somebody said they were going to get me a shirt with that printed on it. LOL

11.  In my group, whoever controls and manipulates management pretty much runs things. I have no ambition of controlling and/or manipulating anyone. I don't have the energy to work Jedi mind tricks on people, and I just honestly don't care. And I consider all of that type of behavior as a sign of low self esteem when one has to do all this plotting and backbiting and throwing people under the bus. It is also a sign of some deep rooted problems going on behind the velvet curtain of one's life.

That may not be the case. That is just the way I see it.

Not sure why I should be expending that much energy... That does not make me "confident". No sir.

12. The Michael Cohen book comes out today. You know there has to be some truths in there because there was an effort to shut him up. The same thing happened with the president's niece, etc. Hmm.  Y'all read that and let me know what's up.

As my grandmother use to say... "Looka there, looka there."

I came up with MORE than ten thoughts. So happy for that.

Have a great week! On purpose!

Chadwick Boseman, 1977-2020. Rest in Peace. Wakanda Forever

Ten Thursday Thoughts

1. We are well into month FIVE of quarantine. Well, by this time, pseudo-quarantine.  I don't know what to call it. All I know is that I am just numb right now. Numb is the only word I can use to describe how I feel. And I'm all tapped out when it comes to work. I really need a lab to get experiments done, but it is just not worth me going in. For once in my life, I just need to put myself and my well being before my job. And let the chips fall where they may with management.

2. I had a doctor's appointment today. This completely unnerves me, as every time I touch something, I douse my hands in hand sanitizer.

3. My doctor's appointment was at 9:00 am. I didn't go to bed until 3:30 am. Ugh. And doctor is 30 miles away. That is, like, a very long road trip for me.

4. I did have an incredibly quiet and peaceful shopping experience at the Eagles Landing (far south metro Atlanta Suburb) this morning. People had on masks and were social distancing and the store was not at all crowded. That's the way I like it.

5. I have gained Covid weight, but all my bloodwork is very good. I am no longer anemic. Cholesterol and blood pressure are within normal levels. All my electrolyte, vitamin, mineral levels are within range, kidneys are great. So that is good. I suppose. Gonna be thankful anyhow.

6. "Your legs are skinny," my doctor said.
    "But I've gained weight!" I screeched.
    "That is because you are not moving," she explained. "You need to move. Join a gym."
    "I am not running up in no gym right now. No way. Found some youtube videos, though."
    "Good for you," she said.

And that's all I can do right now. And hope for the best.

7. If I listen to terrestrial radio in the car, I like to listen to an Old school station. I heard some good songs on my 60 mile round trip to my doctor's office. Some Kool and the Gang, Earth Wind and Fire, and the like. The problem is that it took me back to days when I was little and my Mother and I would be listening to music in the car and singing along...

8. I got all teary-eyed at those memories. So I guess I have to just plug in my Spotify playlist and listen to that until I feel better about it all.

9. And with that said, look what comes up on my timeline: Forever More by Enchantment.



10. Prayers for Texas and Louisiana right now.

How in the world does one deal with a pandemic, racial injustice AND a hurricane during this time? I just don't know.

Praying ALL of this craziness will just be over soon enough.

Those are my 10 Thoughts. On a Thursday.

Wordless Wednesday: Giving Thanks for Condolences Arrangements

Two at a Time?

So I have been barely paying much attention to the news. I think I am just tired of all the vitriol, and I want some peace.

But it has been raining every single day in Atlanta. I don't understand it. EVERY day, usually in the afternoon.

So I thought it was about time to watch the news. Maybe one of the meteorologists could explain what the world was going on!

Why is it that I turned on the TV and saw this?

TWO HURRICANES?

Luckily I have YouTubeTV, so I could just rewind it back.

YES! TWO at a TIME.

What the world?

2020 is something else...

First corona... then racism... then TWO HURRICANES.

Ugh.

I haven't seent such a thing. Have you?

One at a time is bad. Everybody have to brace themselves, evacuate, or whatever else needs to be done. Thank goodness for innovative weather technology, Doppler radars, and all that so we can see everything and get advanced warning.

But what do you do with TWO hurricanes spinning up at the same time??

I mean, look at this craziness!!



Hurricane Marco and Hurricane Laura.

Wow.

These don't seem like they will be TOO bad, i.e. they are not of Hurricane Katrina proportions.

But imagine if there were two category 5 hurricanes about to hit at the same time.

OH MY!!

And such a thing would not surprise me if it happened during the Great Pandemic of 2020.

Not at all.

But of course, memes run roughshod all through the Facebook and Twitter streets.

This is the best and funniest I have found:

There is no satisfying explanation for all the rain falling in Atlanta, save for them resulting right now from the outer bands of Marco or Laura. It has been raining everyday for what feels like months, so that is only a partial explanation.

But this is a high class problem for me, i.e., I can just open an umbrella and go on about my business.

It is a harsh reality for those in the path of the hurricanes.

I pray everyone is safe from harm and that all will be well.

Me complaining about a little rain is a small thing in the midst of it all.