Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Semi-Wordless Wednesday: "Congratulations"

*Congratulations Chayse*

Graduating from Pre-K!

You's a big girl now!

Let's celebrate, little girl!

You can come on back over to my house and pick some more collard greens!

While you're at it, whip up a pan of cornbread!

Just playing!
You have time off (for now).

And have a great summer!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Monday Morning Breakfast!

Whoooo chile...

It sure does feel good NOT to have to go to work today!


And as celebration of me being off, and congrats to the men and women who serve this here United States of America, I decided to cook up a mighty, mighty fine breakfast.

Mighty fine indeed.

And for those of you who have to work today?


You mean, there's someone who has to work today?


That don't matter. Just come on by the House of LadyLee and run on in and fix your plate. You can leave your car running. One of the "locals" will GLADLY watch your car while you make a to-go plate.

(Better get your food fast or your car will be gone and sold).

Now I myself won't be partaking of much of this breakfast.

Only fruit and rice milk for me in the mornings...

But I know no one wants join me and sip on the refreshing rice milk, with all these vittles up in here!

So, you know how I do...

*LadyLee lighting the fireplace since it's cold in the mornings in the ATL*

Time to get your eat on!

We got the fresh fruit!

I myself plan on diving into the mangoes and strawberries.

I suggest you all put a little fruit on your plate.

Some of ya'll need to get "regular".

We have grits, eggs, sausage, bacon...

We got the golden brown waffles for you!

Oh my! I can feel the "itis" setting in!

As always, LadyLee's world famous salmon and biscuits are ready. (Don't think you gonna eat off my good plates. Pick up a paper plate, please.)

There's plenty of high pulp orange juice, 100% fresh, not the bootleg, straight from my juicer!

If you don't want juice... oh, we have wine (that's for Serenity30. She likes a glass first thing in the morning, ya see.)

For you sedity peeps, who like a cocktail in the morning... we have mimosas...

Now that's how we put it DOWN, babes!

Breakfast was good, wasn't it?

Now, don't look for dinner. I'm not grilling out today. I'm getting back in the bed, and I'm watching one of the Law and Order marathons... ALL day long, honey.

If you're not down with the program...

Well, you ain't gotta go home.

But you must raise up OUT of the House of LadyLee!

Really though.

Don't let the doorknob hit cha where the Good Lawd split ya!

Get on outta here!

And have a great holiday... on purpose!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Of Faceoffs and Ice

I bought a pair of new headphones last weekend.

I go through earbuds like nobody's bizness, so I had to get them. They aren't expensive, only about 20 bucks, but bass vibrates them something terrible, to the point where I get paranoid and think someone is stomping the floors.

It makes me spin around to see if anyone's there behind me.

Sort of reminded me of my ways when I smoked a bit too much bud.

Anyway, the other day, I was sitting at the dining room table, and I heard what I thought were shrill whines coming from the headphones. I thought to myself "I gotta get back to the earbuds."
I turned around as usual, out of reflex.

And the shrill noises turned out to be angry cat wails.

They were having a faceoff on the beams above my living room.

Now, I know they like to fight. Sometimes it is play-play, sometimes they are for real... But NEVER have I seen them up on the beams going at it. It was as if Oscar-Tyrone had him boxed Kramer in or something.
I snatched off my earphones.

"Hey!!!" I yelled

They stopped wailing and hollering. They peered down at me.

"Ya'll need to CHILL OUT!" I yelled. I put my headphones back on.

They started hollering down again.

I threw a piece of ice from my cup at them. They watched it sail between them and hit the stairs. They looked back at me like I was crazy.

I stood up from my chair. "Let me tell ya'll suckas something. Don't nobody go to the doctor up in this house 'cept me."

They continued to stare, careful not to blink.

"Ya'll don't have jobs, so that means you don't go to the doctors!"

Oscar-Tyrone should know this. He hasn't been to the vet since 1998.

And Kramer... well, Kramer is a permanent houseguest. So you know what that means...I would take him on out on the porch and drop kick him straight down to his Granddady Hen-dog's house, just a few houses down the street.

"That means," I continued, "that if ya'll fall and ya'll hurt yourself, ya'll gonna have to work it out and walk it off!"

I scooped another piece of ice from my cup and got ready to throw it.

"If you fall down and break your leg, we'll just go get some sticks from outside and make ya'll some bootleg crutches."

They didn't move. Even looked like they were about to fight again.

I hurled the ice.

They stared down at me again... then walked off the beams in a most orderly fashion.
I think they knew I meant business.

Funny what a little yelling...

...AND a couple of carefully hurled cubes of ice will do!


Bet they'll think twice before they pull that little stunt again!

Ya'll have a great holiday weekend... on purpose.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

LadyLee's 2008 Book List

Alright this one right here goes out to Ms. She likes this type of stuff.

Last year I listed the books I read in 2007. What I usually do is, once I finish reading a book, I write the title down in the back of my personal journal.

I was journalling last weekend and flipped to the back of the journal, and low and behold, there was a 2008 list of books read.

Thought I would post those.

LadyLee's 2008 Book List (in order read):

1. The Appeal by John Grisham.
2. The End of the Night - John MacDonald
3. Orange Mint and Honey - Carlene Brice
4. Seen it All, Done the Rest - Pearle Cleage
5. The Woods - Harlan Coben
6. The Church of the Dead Girls - Stephen Dobyns
7. Sweet Georgia Brown - Cheryl Robinson
8. The Truth about Love - Tia McCollors
9. Them - Nathan McCall
10. Don't Ever Tell -Brandon Massey
11. My Best Friend and My Man - Cydney Rax
12. Stand the Storm - Breena Clarke
13. The Secret Life of Bees - Sue Monk Kidd
14. The Shack - William P. Young

I am so ashamed.

14 books. UGH!

I am VERY disappointed in that number. Last year I only read 26 books. I thought that I would at least top that, but my count has gone down.

One issue is that I LOVE short story anthologies. That's how I have discovered some of my favorite authors (including Queen of Lurk City, Tayari Jones). If I read a story I like, I will go investigate that author, and the rest is history!

So I have about 10 of those laying around the house. I have a tendency to pick one up here and there, and read a story, without ever finishing the book.

A few of my current anthologies (one of which is nonfiction):

All Aunt Hagar's Children - Edward P. Jones
The Giant Book of True Crime
Flash Fiction: 72 Very Short Stories
New Stories from the South: 2004 edition
New Stories from the South: 2008 edition
100 Menacing Little Murder Mysteries
Contemporary Fiction: 50 Short stories since 1970

So, I have a tendency to pick those up and read something fast and quick in one sitting. I think I picked that up from my writing class instructor. She asks that we get a few pages of good fiction in per day, and that's my way of getting something "complete" read very fast.

Best Book I read in 2008: Hands down, Orange Mint and Honey by Carleen Brice. Carleen is a blog sista. That was a GOOD book, girl. I even blogged about it! And it's being developed into a Lifetime movie. You go, girl! Make sure you get a part as an extra in the record store. That's what's hot!

Worst Book I read in 2008: Now, uh, you know I'm not going to say what that is. Honestly, most were good or okay. I never finish a bad book. I put that sucka down!

Creepiest Book I read in 2008: You know I like ol' crazy stuff that feels like it's out of an episode of Snapped. Love that stuff! (What is WRONG with me?).

With that said, the creepiest book was The End of the Night. It was about some serial killing jokers. It was from 6 different points of view- a killer, some victims, the lawyer, the prison guard, etc. (That is a sin in writing, but I like that). Some of it was journal style. (I really liked that.) And there were a whole SLEW of characters (Another writing no-no). It was VERY creepy. The book is 35 years old, and I found out about it in one of my books about writing styles. Very odd book indeed.

Wish I could find more books like it!!

I am not a big fan of inspirational Christian fiction. I think it is because it is too lightweight or something. Folks got problems, REAL problems, and I like to see that tackled from a spiritual perspective and in a REALISTIC fashion. So, two of the inspirational Christian books I read were The Truth about Love and The Shack. Both were very good.

The LBeezy is responsible for picking out good inspirational Christian books for us to read together.

*LBeezy raises eyebrow and mutters "What is Leezie talking about?"*

Hush gal... We just finished one book and that was the fiya! EVERY female should read that book! Go pick out more inspirational books for us to read and discuss.

So that is my reading list from 2008.

2009 looks like it's going to be a better year. I've already read 7 books, and I hope to reach at least 20.

Will I ever get back up to my yearly 40-50 books read per year?

I could only hope for that...

One day it'll happen!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My Deepest Apologies... and Most Hearty Congratulations

*LadyLee dries crocodile tears, picks up pen and pad, and painstakingly scratches out a letter*

Dear Crystal...

Dearest Bride-to-be!

*LadyLee leaning against fence wailing hard like Celie wailed when Mister kicked Nettie off his property*

You are one of my favorite chemists in the whole wide world.

Always come to work sharp!

Cuz' you going straight to the nearest Happy Hour after work!

Always kicking the phat high heel boots!

Cuz' you got it like that, Ma!

(Plus, you don't have to change from your work shoes to your stripper heels for your night job... Just wear them to work!!)

My dearest Crystal!

You scratch out my head when I was ailing!

In other words, you was always there when I needed to vent, when management was being some bustas...

And yet...

And yet...



*LadyLee screeches and falls prostrate on the hard concrete*

Oh Crystal!!!

I am so sorry!!

I did not forget. Just mucked up the day.

I thought it was on Sunday and not on Saturday. I'd laid out my clothes and everything. Even yelled at my lil' sister Kentucky to make sure she was around on Sunday morning to paint my toes so I could wear my cute sandals!

I missed your shower.

Woe. is. meeeeeeee!!!!!

You know girl, I was peeking around corners Tuesday morning as I walked the halls. I just knew you were gonna bust me in the head with some chemistry glassware and tackle me to the ground. I was braced at every turn!!

But I didn't run into you...

A beat down avoided for yet another day.

I think you know I messed up.

I messed up bad.

(Ask Cowgirl Cre. She called me while she was on her way to your shower. I argued her down that she had the wrong day. I. was. wrong!!!!)

But, I will be at the shower ya'll having tomorrow at the workplace.

I will be there, the first one there.

Congratulations to you and Rudy, who look like he wanna be rapper T.I.


I'ma need him to put on his chinchilla coat (the one he's wearing in the pic on your desk) and sing "You can have whatever you liiiiikkkkkke" at the wedding reception!


On the real, my girl...

I remember that long talk we had in the sample prep room, when you were grinding up your cheese samples in the meat grinder... I had the *gas face* because you begged me to come sit in the room with you while you worked in there ("Leave me alone, Crystal!!!" I'd yelled). And we had a very long talk about a recent break-up you had, and your determination to find someone who loved you for you...

I sat at the steel table, listening to you over that stupid meat grinder... Just nodding and listening as you talked it out.

I was happy to see a woman stick to her standards...

That is rare these days.

But I heard the determination in your voice. I knew you meant what you said. I will always remember that day. Always.

Some of the most memorable conversations are held in the strangest places.

You were gonna wait on your Prince...

And now you've found him.

Glad you found Prince Rudy!

Good for you, Princess Crystal! Good for you!

And this time, I promise I won't forget the wedding date: May 30th, 6 pm sharp...

I will be sure to sit at the end of the pew and throw rice at you, straight in the face, as you walk to the altar!!!


Congratulations Crystal and Rudy... All the best to you!

Forever and ever.

Your friend, LadyLee.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

T-shirt Tales


I got a chance to see some of my uh, more interesting book club sistas on Saturday.

Some of them like fancy t-shirts.

I myself like a plain t-shirt. I don't like people looking at me and reading what's on my shirt. I am VERY much into not drawing attention to myself...

But, I am a rare persona in that aspect. Not my book club sisters.

Here's Judy with a signature shirt.

Interesting take on the old adage "Sh** Happens".

I suppose I can wear that particular shirt. Get a good laugh out of it and all.

But my girl STAR likes to shock folk.

She arrived at the book club meeting a few minutes late, and headed straight for the vacant chair next to me.

Why did she do that?

*Ladylee cheesing real hard*

"Wassup Dr. Ladylee," she said. "Been awhile since I've seen you."

"What's up, Book Slut?!!!!" I replied.

Poor chick. She know not to sit next to me with a shirt like that on. I picked on her the whole time.

I don't ever recall anyone a slut out of pure joy and humor, lol...

Several of us went out to dinner at Copeland's after the book club meeting.

(I was drawn there by my finance group leader GreenEyed Bandit and her wailings about having the phat "buy one get one free" dinner coupons).

I kept calling Star a slut... the whole time.

The girl seems to like that.

She worries me.

I wonder how folks react to her in public... especially since she owns the t-shirt company that produces these shirts. She was proud to say she wore them often, and had many of them in different colors.

Let's just say, she went to a Jodi Picoult booksigning... and Jodi got up from the table and ran over to her and said "Now this is my type of shirt!"

LOL. I am sure she gets some other interesting comments... and good sales. She is a walking advertisement, she is.

I ain't mad at you, Star... with your ol' fancy t-shirt.

We suggested that she put the letter "a" between "book" and "slut".

Now THAT would be a conversation piece indeed... wouldn't it?


Monday, May 18, 2009

Happy Monday Morning!

Happy Monday Morning!

No one likes Mondays, so oh well... I am trying to make the best of it.

I was fiddling around with the notion of calling off work today. I need a break. But Memorial day is next Monday, and I have that day off.

So what? Called in anyway. So I am off today. I'm not sick or anything. I have a bunch of errands to run: hit past the eyedoctor, getting prescriptions filled, return library books, and a few other things.

Last week was a productive workweek for me. Management gets in the way of progress, but it's best just to roll with the punches. Ol' Cheap Seats Terry caught me in a low moment over email and talked me down out of the trees with a few kind words. Thanks a lot for that, man... I told him, it is rare to catch me down (better catch it while you can) and he handled it like a pro!

So, this is going to be a good week IN SPITE of management. I have made my mind up about that.

But my workweek will start tomorrow. And that is FINE by me.

My weekend. I was worried about my weekend, not because I didn't have anything to do, but that I had TOO MUCH to do. That bothers me. I allow 2 activities per weekend, and it looked like 4 or 5 were on the table.

I hear my doctor's shrill voice in my ear... "Do NOT overexert yourself, Miss!"

She knows too much running around wipes me out...

Turns out that I messed up the date for one of them, and missed it. I was too tired to do something else, and I skipped that, too...

I hung out with my finance group, the Triple F Possee, early Saturday morning. A bunch of them hadn't been to the Dekalb Farmers market, so we were going to have a look-see, explore and do some grocery shopping.

This is my favorite place to shop for fresh produce and hormone free meat, and I've been going there since I was 21 years old, so I know the place well. My sister Kentucky went, although very reluctantly. She, like myself, hates crowds. This place is the WRONG place to go on a Saturday. Better get there by 9:00 a.m., and get out of there quick because it gets REAL crowded real fast.

But, as CP time would have it, we didn't get started 'til about 9:45 a.m. (I had to keep Kentucky from ditching me, lol). I had a good time, got all my grocery shopping taken care of, and hung out with a group of ladies I really like hanging out with.

Later on Saturday, I had a book club meeting.

My old book club pretty much dissolved over some B.S. (I will talk about it once I get a little more distance from it, in my next quarterly assessment).

Although, I do hear that the old book club is still in effect. It is NOT in my best interest to fool with it. I decided to go check out the revamped one.

We discussed the book The Soloist.

This was a great book. I won't review it here. Take your tail to the movies and see it (something I myself have yet to do!)

I enjoyed the meeting, and enjoyed seeing my friends. I have been a bit scarce from meetings (as was a lot of folks), because I wasn't getting out of the book club what I was getting 4 years ago when I joined. The new revamped one is a lot better than the old one. So I will stick around!

The highlight of my weekend was having a good long refreshing 2 hour conversation with That Original Oldgirl The LBeezy. Girl, I walked away from that phone convo with a plan and some isshas solved. Good to talk to you, and keep your head up, and GO FORWARD.

I didn't go to sleep until 4 a.m. on Saturday night. I can't stand that. Even the cats did there own versions of "Peace out, Lee!" and disappeared on me.

Sunday was quiet. I slept, crocheted, did a ton of chores, and got a little reading done. I hope for this to be a productive writing week for me (something I haven't had all year), so I made plans for that. I thought I had a bridal shower to go to, but it was Saturday night instead of on Sunday like I thought. So that shut down the weekend a bit, and Sunday was a rest day. (Thank goodness for that!)

I started on a new book, one that I've read in the past: Octavia Butler's Parable of the Talents. I think Serenity and I are reading this one together. I got that prissy gal reading a bit of black science fiction! LOL! Let's see if she can get through it!!

But that is it for the Oldgirl... A nice weekend, just like I like it: time with friends mixed with quite a bit of ME time.

And it was low on the turbulence. I've had my share of turbulent years. I cherish my good productive weekends, LadyLee style.

Hope you all had a good weekend!

And guess what?

You can look forward to a post tacked up on the walls of the House of LadyLee every day this week.

*A couple of blog fam members pass out on the hard concrete*

LOL... You will be alright. And I won't even be all longwinded! Imagine that!


Have a good week... on purpose!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Random thoughts

I don't have much to blog about... well, I do, but I just don't feel like loading up pictures!

Credit Cards. Is anyone getting these strange "Dear John" letters from their credit card companies? You know, the ones where they slice your limit down to nearly nothing and they raise your interest rate to some ungodly high rate?

What did I do to deserve this? I am getting busted down left and right. UGH.

That is okay, though. I am glad that I am a member of the Financial Freedom Fighters, i.e., Triple F Possee, going on three years strong! I have around 10 credit cards, and only 1 or 2 have a balance. They will be paid off before the year is out, or even before the summer is over.

So credit card companies... you know what you can do with your "Dear John" letters.

Farrah Fawcett. Have ya'll been watching the news? I think she is on her death bed, ya'll.

I knew she was sick, but her peeps been hollering for the past couple of years "She's alright, don't believe the tabloids, blah, blah, BLAH! " She's been walking around saying that she is okay.

All of a sudden, some big documentary on her life is coming on on Friday night.

And I knew something was up when they snatched that boy of hers out of jail and took him to whereever she is. He was all shackled up, going to see his mother. And the convo they had, uh... that sounds like a very last convo to me.

But this 2 hour documentary... How do you have a memorial BEFORE a person passes away?

What is that old saying? Give me my flowers while I am still here, not when I am long gone.

So I guess that's what's happening. I don't expect her to make it to summer, the way they talking. Sigh.

Miss California. She kept her crown. That doesn't suprise me. They found some racy pictures of her. She said that the wind blew open her shirt, and the photographer took pictures of the wardrobe malfunction.

These chicks can do no wrong can they?

What would've happened if that would've been one of "us".

Southern Black Gal, make sure you destroy the pictures of you swanging on a stripper pole before you run for Miss USA. Really.


Miss California caught flack for not approving of gay marriage. I have no problem with that. The chick is allowed to express her opinion. She just better know that if you go against what society says, you will pay the price.

And with that said, Vanessa Williams lost her crown 25 years ago because of some nude pictures.

Trump, be a big man and reinstate homegirl's crown.

It doesn't matter, though. Vanessa Williams has had a successful singing and acting career.

I don't remember any of the other Miss USA/Miss America Contestants over the years.

That goes to show you that the crown don't make the woman...

Work. Work sucks right now. I am actually having a good day, but management is tripping... they are tripping out on each other, for some reason. I hope they realize that people are around here watching the fiascos and talking about them.

Plus, I have been harrassed lately about not turning in packing slips for packages received.


Humph. Does that sound like rocket science to you?

I don't think so...

I am resisting the urge these days to stand out in the hallway of the job and yell at the top of my lungs


But that would be me getting over into negative emotions, running with my feelings. I am trying to get away with that, and act like I some sense.

And it is not a very nice thing to say... Serenity would think that I was being unladylike and not very cute.

I will just disappear. I create an itinerary for my day's work, and get caught up in completing that. When they run up on me, I will give short curt answers if I am harrassed.

I prefer to let them think that I am just a tad bit "touched", as the old folks use to say. That way, I won't be harassed (too much)!

So much for today's random thoughts... Hope your day has been going well!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A Snapshot of your Future

I really need to post, don't I?

I only have Food for thought stuff...

Having been feeling great lately... I was sick as a dog last night...

I need to get my mojo, my smurfiness back!


But I have something that my friend Green-Eyed Bandit sent to me awhile ago. She has the bestest church notes in the world. (She better be careful that I don't steal her church notebook).

But this is something that has stayed on my mind. She was telling me about it, in relation to a post I wrote some time ago. I told her to write it up for me, and send it. She continuously hollers about her mathmetician background, but that is alright. Send it anyway, I replied.

So some Bandit Food-for-Thought for ya...

A snapshot of your future is taken with the people you are walking with now:

With that said...

There are 3 types of people in your life:

Yesterday people – people you are never going to hook up with again. Have you ever looked at some old pictures and noticed some of the people are no longer in your life? And your next thought is I am glad I don’t hang with them anymore. These are the people you are never to hook up with again.

Today people – These are the "right now" people. These are the people that, when somebody ask you about him/her you say “the verdict is still out”. This is somebody who likes you for the person they met. These are the people who say you changed when you started growing and try to make you feel guilty for growing and maturing.

Future (Tommorow) people – These are the folks that celebrate you. Whatever you say they are believing in you, for it to happen even if they don’t believe it (that thing you are believing for). They also have skills. They bring something to the table. It is a give and take relationship.

Yeah... that's what's hot.

That gives you something to think about.

We can all tell who you are and where you are going by the type of people you hang around. They affect how you feel about yourself, and where you are going in life.

As a matter of fact, we can see your future VERY clearly based on the people that you surround yourself with.

As for me, I want to be a "tomorrow" person. I always want to be believing in my friends, and I always want to be of encouragement to them. I never want to bring anyone down, or be critical of them when they are trying to better themselves...

As I get older, I ONLY surround myself with tomorrow people. That is it. There are NO exceptions to that rule.


There are 6 billion people on this earth. Give me just a handful that are in my corner and vice-versa, and I am cool with that. Very cool indeed. Ain't gotta be buddy-buddy with everyone.

Heck, might have an Oldgirl spiralling in the wrong direction!

What about you?

My vision board contains my vision statement for my life, and one of the most important things on there is...

I am incredible assest to my friends.

I continuously work on this. I, of course, am growing in this area. And I am hopefully getting better at it.

Again... what about you?

Friday, May 08, 2009

A Kentucky Tale: "Becoming"

Last week, Kentucky ran up on me while I was sitting on the sofa watching television.

"Lisa, do you mind reading something for me?" she asked.

I blinked hard.

She is in school right now, getting a Masters in Childhood Education, and she sometimes wants me to proofread class assignments from time to time.

This, in spite of my wailings that science is my area of expertise. NOT education.

She doesn't care. What I say doesn't even register with her.

She thinks I know EVERYTHING.

"It's just a memoir, that's all," she explained. "It is only 3 pages long."

"Alright," I said. I was a tad bit annoyed, as I was watching a good movie and getting my crochet on. "Let me finish watching this movie, then I will take a look at it."

I read her work, and I found it quite delightful.

I didn't know the chick could write so well. I had the hardest time teaching her her ABC's when she was a child. I still think about that whenever she runs up on me for help with schoolwork. I suppose I thought she still had the same isshas, lol..

I guess not!

Her story really made me laugh, and relive a few memories.

I asked her if I could post it.

She said yes.

So, for your Friday, a short memoir piece by my little sister Kentucky.



I have yet another reminder from my Mama to give my Grandmama a call today.

I don’t drop by or talk to her as often as I should. I guess that comes with age, with being too busy.

I suppose she understands.

I often think back on the times spent with Grandmama, especially the times I combed and greased her scalp with blue Bergamot grease. She’d drink frozen milk with sliced peaches, and she’d doze off ever so often. Sometimes during these moments, she would softly call me by another name.

“Hey Lisa, oh… little Lisa. You look so much like your sister. That is why I call you Little Lisa.”

Grandmama would laugh and play it off as if I did not notice.

She also took me to vacation bible school and we would split a sprite and a hotdog during recess. She’d allow me to ask all the questions in the world, and with her soft spoken voice, she’d answer every last one.

I’ll never forget one particular day I spent with her, a day that changed my life.It was a warm summer morning, over a decade ago. I don’t remember the year.

“Get in the car and stop moving so slow!” Mama hissed. She did not carry me to the car that morning. She did not prepare our normal breakfast of grits, eggs, and bacon. She did not even pack us a lunch.

We must be running late, I thought to myself.

It was a very unusual start to a day.

Mama would go to work very early in the morning, and during the summer she would work late. I knew that morning she was tired, so I did not make a fuss. My brother Kari and I climbed into the front seat of the burgundy and gray Astro van and put on the seat belt. We always shared the front seat. Mama got into the van and blasted the air conditioner. Little beads of sweat fell from her forehead and formed around her top lip.

I shivered and rub my arms rapidly to warm them. “Mama, I am cold,” I said.

She did not respond. She pressed the buttons on the car phone as we backed out of the driveway. She was calling Grandmama to tell her we were on the way.

I grabbed my yellow baby blanket and covered myself and Kari. It was still dark outside.I wanted to go back to sleep, while we are on our way, but I couldn’t. I stayed awake and stared at the lights of the cars and passing highway lights.

Before long, Mama pulled up in front of Grandmama’s house. I jumped out of the van and helped my brother out. We grabbed our bag of toys that we each put into our own “Going-to-Grandma’s” suitcase. Mama handed me some money to give to Grandmama.

We climbed the red steps that led to the front door, my brother and I. Grandmama was holding the front door open. She wore the same blue and white robe she always wore every morning. Her hair was gray, more like white. She had on her glasses and her pink slippers.

Mama was talking to her but it sounded like mumbling to me. I didn’t hear a word, really, because Grandmamma had my full attention.

Something was different about her. I’d never seen this before.

She had no teeth!

I thought she had them like everyone else!

I could not take my eyes off of her.

I walked into the house and into the kitchen, where I sat down at the small round yellow table. I could not believe my eyes. I didn’t know what to say, or if I should say anything at all. My usual morning routine when I went to Grandma’s house was to go to sleep on the bench in my grandparent’s room. But not that day.

Kari obviously did not see what I saw because he was already laying on the bench fast asleep. Mama did not say anything. And I could not sleep.

Grandmama walked into the kitchen, her slippers sliding on the floor. She sat her bible on the kitchen table, and sat down in a chair across from me.

“Are you going to go back to sleep?” she asked.

She sounded funny. I think she knew she was missing her teeth, or maybe she did not.

She had them yesterday. I’m sure she would’ve noticed!

Oh, my goodness, I thought. I just had to spit it out, as I could not hold it any longer!

“Grandmamma, where are your teeth?” I asked.

She smiled, showing only her pink gums. “They are in the jar in the bathroom. I know I need to put them in, but I will do it a little later.”

I could not believe that she was being so nonchalant about it. It was really a big deal!

All she could say is that they were in a jar?

I was full of questions then.

She talked some more, but I didn’t hear a word. I was in a daze. It just didn’t seem right. Did my Granddaddy know about this or was it a secret? How long has she been without teeth?

I came out of my daze long enough to ask the question that had so quickly consumed me. “Grandmama, why are your teeth not in your mouth? Why can you take them out?”

She answered in the same funny sounding voice. Embarrassingly she said, “Well, I did not take care of my teeth when I was a young girl. I had to get these. My gums are irritated so that is why they are not in.”

I looked at her. I noticed that she is embarrassed because she covers her mouth. “Oh…okay,” I said, letting out a sigh of relief.

In the words of my Grandmama, I know that it is not” becoming” to continue the conversation.

Grandmamma rose from the table and retrieved two white coffee cups with the Delta Airlines symbol on them and pours coffee into them. The light is shining through the window of the kitchen and it is time for our morning cups of coffee.

“Grandmama, I only want two spoons of sugar and a little cream,” I said.

She pushed the sugar dish my way. “I don’t know why you like such dark coffee.”

The day was getting back to normal. I could not wait until Granddaddy woke up up so that we could have breakfast.

That day, Grandmama taught me that there is always something you did not know before. The world is full of wonders. This was the only time I remember her surprising me with any inconsistency. Her house, tone, and attitude had always been the same.

She always spoke about the importance of “becoming” a young lady, celebrating life instead of grieving, asking questions and seeking answers.

The End

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Sometimes, You Just Get Mad!


I'm getting surly emails complaining abougt how I didn't post today or yesterday.

Look here... don't get spoiled. Just because I posted every day last week- that don't mean I will be doing that ALL the TIME.

What's wrong with ya'll?

(Especially you, Serenity)


Anyway, I'm hijacking a post from that Oldgirl, The LBeezy...

I just KNOW she had to get this from That Southern Black Gal, as these peoplelook to be some of Southern's kin folk.

Throwing shoes at the Devil... Bush style...

I am NOT a big fan of traditional black southern churches... The organ playing and yelling preacher drive me nuts. I like to hear someone talk for an hour, I like to take a good 4 or 5 pages of good notes. I like to pontificate and have a tentative PLAN of action scratched out in the margins...

That constitutes good "chuuuuch" to me.

Some may like a lot of what is in the video. Hey... Be happy, and do YOUR thang!!

Let's just say, I would've loved to have heard this pastor's message before he hurled his Stacey Adams wing tips at the devil. I assume he had a good message of getting angry at the Enemy and taking action concerning your personal issues.

The video was interesting...

I now understand how dude felt when he threw his shoes at President Bush over in Iraq last year.

Sometimes you just get so mad at the devil that you gotta throw your shoes...

... or your purse.

... or your crutch!

Monday, May 04, 2009

Monday Morning Ramblings

Ah yes...

Another Monday Mernting.

The current temperature in the ATL is 62 degrees.

It is raining, so much to the point that I am wondering if we will EVER see the sun again.

This is that hard sleeping and slowly twerking kind of weather.


In other words, there is really no need to get out of bed.

And I am up EARLY!! I woke up at 4:30 a.m.

I have a doctor's appointment today, so I arrived at work under the cover of darkness and POURING down rain at 6:00 a.m. I felt odd, since I don't usually roll up in here until 10 in the morning.

So, hopefully I will be alright... and not fall out asleep at my desk.

My appointment is at 3:20 p.m., and I can't eat anything all day. Oh well. I should be alright. I declare this here a day of fasting!!

My weekend: It was VERY uneventful. Couldn't do much since it rained cats and dogs. I got a lot of things done around the house. I worked on my budget and financial goals for the month. Yacked on the phone to a few friends. I watched a strange movie, The Reader. I finished a good book, Kisscut by Karen Slaughter. I even started on my book club book, The Soloist by Steve Lopez.

I began a new crochet project. Well, not really... just wanted to do a swatch to see if I could decipher the pattern. It was all gibberish to me, and I even brought it to work for my coworker Cowgirl Cre to have a look at. She taught me to crochet 10 years ago, so I just knew that SHE could figure out.

All she said was, "That's more than a notion, girl!"


Come ON, Cowgirl Cre!!!

So I was left to my own devices.

This is the test swatch.

Interesting. The chick who wrote this pattern must've been drinking real hard at the time because she don't know the difference between a comma and a period, and that makes a BIG difference in reading patterns.

I am the Queen of busted english, but if I noticed it, it must REALLY be bootleg.

I needed a drink while trying to figure this one out.

I want to send her a nasty email. But that would be wrong.

It ain't all that hard, though. I would just have to wrap my mind around making 936 little squares. UGH!! Shouldn't be a problem though. This would be a Christmas gift!

Like I said, I got much done around the house. Even the laundry. So when I was doing a few other things, waiting for a final load to finish drying, I come across this:

Kramer, the permanent houseguest, seems to like the laundry basket lately. I don't like this, as that dude has long hair and is shedding like a mutha!

Even after hearing me yell "Get your butt out off my clean clothes, man!", he just kinda went back to sleep.

And he didn't move, even after I ran up on him. Just looked at me with the sleepy face.

Let's say, he got snatched up. He looked at me like I was crazy, and went upstairs to hang out with my sister Kentucky.

Cats are a trip. I don't have this problem out of Oscar, as he is old, and does not care for my conniption fits!

Book Giveaway. I would like to thank everyone who put up with my Food-for-Thought Epiphany and Oldgirl Angst Festival last week over here at the House of LadyLee. I will do that every quarter. So much has happened this quarter, and we're a third of the way through the second quarter!

I've been wanting to do some giveaways, and

So, I wrote all the commenters names on index cards, shuffled them real good and made my sister draw a winner.

The winner is:

Yeah, that is hard to read...

So, the winner is:


Dreamy, I'll contact you for your info via email!

Great News: Uh-rah... I spoke for close to an hour and a half on the phone to one of the Original Oldgirls last night.

Seems as if she is getting married...

And it seems as if 1+1 = 3.

That's all I am saying.

Don't run around mentioning nothing on her blog, as she is in the middle of a career change of sorts right now. She don't want employers googling her and finding that out...


It ain't me...

And if you know it ain't you...

Then who could it be?

I'll let you pontificate...

Congrats girl... Good for YOU!

Got me over here cheesing hard like Buckwheat!


With that said...

I'ma need ya'll to have a good week... on purpose.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Happy Birthday LoveBabz... You Original Oldgirl You.

I would be remiss if I didn't celebrate one of my favorite blogger's birthdays.

*Lee stands on front porch in Georgia and clears throat*

"Excuse me, Ms. LoveBabz?" LadyLee mumbles.

*Babz pays LadyLee NO attention. For she is perusing the Conneticuit sky, discerning its beautiful blue color, pondering the meaning of life*

*Lee cups hands to mouth*

BABZ!!!! Yo BABZ!!!!

*Babz jerks her head around, doing her best to discern the strange noise coming from the south!*

"It's me, Babz! It's LadyLee! Stop all that discerning and get on down here to your virtual birthday party!!"


Today is one of my favorite bloggers birthdays!

And you know how I do!

Party Time!!

Happy 46th Birthday Babz.

Now, I like ol' Babz!


Because her blog is brutally honest. Brutally.

She talks VERY candidly about her life experiences... from molestation as a child to time in prison.

If that ain't some brutal honesty, I don't know what is.

Babz been through it all! ALLLLL!!! The only thing left to do is to go up to the Space Station! Thats it. The chick done been through it ALLL!

I came across Lovebabz by way of my friend and blog sista Sharon, Miss Just Write Now. I think they were writing poetry together and what-not. Anybody down with Sharon is alright with me. At the time I began reading her blog, she was going through a divorce and dealing with healing from that.

I remember thinking... "I remember feeling like that. Now I know my feelings are valid."

She knows how to get on paper many things that I am not even able to verbalize. Not only am I not able to verbalize such thoughts, but I can't even write them on paper, much less a blog.

And I tell you, there are SO many times that I've been discussing various issues with some of my girlfriends...

And Babz posts on the very subject we are discussing that very day... that very same hour. And it ties up and clearly brings together whatever we are discussing.

And she's unabashedly honest with her readers, and more importantly honest with herself.

I like that, Mayne! I loved-ed it!!!

Now over an email the other day, I told her to not be alarmed if I went taring through her archives looking for some of her special quotes. She gave me permission to do so.

But I spent some time one evening, reading her words, looking for some quotes to tack up on the walls of the House of LadyLee. I finally threw my hands in the air, leaned back in my chair and hollered "It's too much!"


It's too much, Babz. Too much of that good stuff, gal. Hard to pick one thing, because it all blows my mind.

Her words are like dynamite. When they hit they blow up stuff, change, rearrange some things.

She's very big on the positive personal affirmations. You know, I like that kind of stuff.

So, I will just post the most recent Lovebabz quote from a post that shook me up a bit.

"I am always stunned at folks' perception. Or their so called reality as a barometer for defining my experiences."

If you read THAT too quick, you won't get it. That right there was deep off the pages.

I read that post and was like "I'm stunned too, Babz! Negroes got me stunned too! St-, St-, STUNNED!"

It would take me 5 posts to say what she said very succinctly in a few short words.

Deep off the frickin' pages.

And we don't even want to talk about her blogtalk radio show... Lovetalk Radio.


We could be sitting here talking about that ALL day! (And you know how longwinded-ed I am!)

So... without further adieu, I want to present this sister here with her *Original Oldgirl* Platinum Plus card.

LoveBabz, I won't keep you waiting.

I hereby extend to you your Original Oldgirl Platinum Plus Card, good worldwide and on every planet in the solar system, good even on the Sun itself...with no monetary limits whatsover.

So if the police ever try to run up on you, or some folks try to jump ya, you can yell-

"Get back! I am an Oldgirl!"

I'm an "OG"!

"Get the **** back!!"

No, you'll still catch a beat down...

But you'll have the pride attached to being an Oldgirl...

One who is an Original!
One who is full of wisdom!
One who keeps it real!
One who has been through it all!
One marching like Miss Sophia on her way to a place of peace and victory......

Stand tall...
And make sure you don’t fall
Be proud
Say it loud

I, Lovebabz, am an… Original Oldgirl!

So you know how I do... we gonna have the virtual barbeque.

But not before I show you the gifts I sent to Babz!

I hooked that Original Oldgirl up with a card:

Keep it simple, yet tasteful... Her name in the clouds.

Last year, she asked all her readers to compose poetry in her honor. Now, I'm too bootleg to do that. You know how strange my poetry is.

This year she requested song lyrics that reminded us of her.

I posted 2 songs: "Free" by Jill Scott; "Searching" by Erykah Badu (by way of Roy Ayers)

Now, Babz was over here hollering HARD for a minute about a blanket.

"I want a blanket!! I'll pay! Name Your Price! Blah, BLAH, BLAHHH!!!"

*LadyLee frowning HARD, and closing the window blinds and turning out all the lights at the House of LadyLee*


Girl was just hollering down, making up a BUNCH of noise!

So we talked, and I got an idea of what she liked. Let's just say, I've been wanting to do a black sorority blanket. I spoke with some of the Deltas on my job, and I hooked it up.

So I present to you, The Crimson and Creme...

"The LoveBabz Supreme"

*LadyLee throws smoking hot needle through the wall and into the front yard. The whole front yard catches fire**

It's that crimson and creeeeeeeeme... that Lovebabz Supreeeeeeemmmme!!!

Now, you know how bootleg I tend to be. I took these pictures at my book club sista Aunt Ray-Ray's house last Sunday. And as you can tell by the ball of yarn to the side- I wasn't even finished with it yet.

LOL!!! Babz running around talking about she gonna put it in her Will. LOL!!! Cut that out Babz!

Took me 2 hours to trim all the stray strings. UGH. But I did it for you, Babz! You Oldgirl You!!

I told her it'll make you want to sang the sweetheart song... "Deeee eSsssss Teeee!!"


She called me when she received it. Doing allllll that hollering.

I am death in one ear now. Thanks, Babz...

LOL... But on the real, glad you liked it, Miss. Really glad.

Happy Birthday Lovebabz, and many more!

So, I know ya'll ready to eat!

*Party People knocking over chairs and tables trying to line up for the food*

Let the virtual Barbeque begin!!!

Lovebabz hollers "I sure would enjoy a good piece of fish, LadyLee!"

LadyLee shrugs. "Alright, fish and barbeque! That's cool!"

"Uncle Cre! Git that witch's kettle out and fry up some tilapia!"

We got the HOT. FRIED. FISH for the Party People!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course I got the grill going. Not quite summertime, but it's hot enough to grill!! GRILL, GRILL, GRILL!!!

And you KNOW there's always someone hollerin' about they don't eat pork. GEEZ!!

I see you sneaking the ribs on the sly! But we got that grilled up shrimp and crab for you anyways!

I cooked up some gumbo...

And for you REAL country folk: My grandma brought over some chittlins! (Dang. We don't have many chitterlings left over. The people who claim they don't eat port tore that down before it could be served up.)

Hold your horses. The salmon and biscuits are almost ready!

And for the super health counscious folks, we have all the stir-fry you can eat!

Good LAWD, there is some good eatin' up in this here LoveBabz Party!!!!

"Where the Liquor at, LadyLee!" Blog Fam screams, even though they got a case of the "itis" right now.

I tell you... black folks. You know we love the libations...

I'm not a lush, so it don't matter to me, but for all you drunks, we got that

Bitch on Ice... So nice so nice.
Come on, sang with me... *Lee does the running man dance*

"Bitch on Ice... so nice, so nice! Bitch on Ice... so nice, so nice!!!"

Grab a plate, and Party ON!!!

Oh, and don't forget to leave room for dessert.

My neighbor Tiny KILLS my ice cream whenever he comes over. Hopefully he left some for us.

Tiny, grab that ice cream out the freezer!

Party People, make sure you have a few of LadyLee's Oatmeal Raisin walnut cookies and Chocalate Chip Pecan cookies.

And we got a little double chocolate coffee infused cake! Have a slice!!

Whew!!! That was a GOOOD party... I see ALL YA'LL out on the front porch, holding your plates and kicking the HARD electric slide!

Thank ya'll so much for coming by for the LoveBabz virtual birthday party.

Now... you ain't got to go home, but you got to get the hell up outta HERE!!! I got the "itis" something terrible. I gotta go take a PHAT nap.

BABZ! Don't leave none of your gifts here, gal. You leave 'em here, I can't guarantee you will get them back.

Happy Birthday LoveBabz... and many more.