My Deepest Apologies... and Most Hearty Congratulations

*LadyLee dries crocodile tears, picks up pen and pad, and painstakingly scratches out a letter*


Dear Crystal...

Dearest Bride-to-be!



*LadyLee leaning against fence wailing hard like Celie wailed when Mister kicked Nettie off his property*

You are one of my favorite chemists in the whole wide world.

Always come to work sharp!

Cuz' you going straight to the nearest Happy Hour after work!

Always kicking the phat high heel boots!



Cuz' you got it like that, Ma!

(Plus, you don't have to change from your work shoes to your stripper heels for your night job... Just wear them to work!!)

My dearest Crystal!

You scratch out my head when I was ailing!

In other words, you was always there when I needed to vent, when management was being some bustas...

And yet...

And yet...

AND YET...

I COMPLETELY MISSED YOUR BRIDAL SHOWER!

*LadyLee screeches and falls prostrate on the hard concrete*

Oh Crystal!!!

I am so sorry!!

I did not forget. Just mucked up the day.

I thought it was on Sunday and not on Saturday. I'd laid out my clothes and everything. Even yelled at my lil' sister Kentucky to make sure she was around on Sunday morning to paint my toes so I could wear my cute sandals!

I missed your shower.

Woe. is. meeeeeeee!!!!!

You know girl, I was peeking around corners Tuesday morning as I walked the halls. I just knew you were gonna bust me in the head with some chemistry glassware and tackle me to the ground. I was braced at every turn!!

But I didn't run into you...

A beat down avoided for yet another day.

I think you know I messed up.

I messed up bad.

(Ask Cowgirl Cre. She called me while she was on her way to your shower. I argued her down that she had the wrong day. I. was. wrong!!!!)

But, I will be at the shower ya'll having tomorrow at the workplace.

I will be there, the first one there.

Congratulations to you and Rudy, who look like he wanna be rapper T.I.

LOL!!!!

I'ma need him to put on his chinchilla coat (the one he's wearing in the pic on your desk) and sing "You can have whatever you liiiiikkkkkke" at the wedding reception!

LOL

On the real, my girl...

I remember that long talk we had in the sample prep room, when you were grinding up your cheese samples in the meat grinder... I had the *gas face* because you begged me to come sit in the room with you while you worked in there ("Leave me alone, Crystal!!!" I'd yelled). And we had a very long talk about a recent break-up you had, and your determination to find someone who loved you for you...

I sat at the steel table, listening to you over that stupid meat grinder... Just nodding and listening as you talked it out.

I was happy to see a woman stick to her standards...

That is rare these days.

But I heard the determination in your voice. I knew you meant what you said. I will always remember that day. Always.

Some of the most memorable conversations are held in the strangest places.

You were gonna wait on your Prince...

And now you've found him.

Glad you found Prince Rudy!

Good for you, Princess Crystal! Good for you!

And this time, I promise I won't forget the wedding date: May 30th, 6 pm sharp...

I will be sure to sit at the end of the pew and throw rice at you, straight in the face, as you walk to the altar!!!

LOL!!

Congratulations Crystal and Rudy... All the best to you!

Forever and ever.

Your friend, LadyLee.