Get Your Tree On!

Repost: My best friend's Christmas Tree.... sigh


My BFF LadyTee's Christmas Tree for the past three years...

I remember the first time I walked around the corner into her den and was face to face with the thing.

"It's nice, ain't it?" LadyTee said.

I just stared at her, then back at the "tree". "Where ya'll get it from?"

"Mama's favorite shopping place, the Home Shopping Network!"

I stared at the tree. "Are you serious?"

She nodded. "It kinda grow on you!"

**crickets**

I laughed hard. "You are tripping!"

"I like it," she said.

"Man, Charlie Brown is somewhere right now looking for his Christmas Tree. DANG!"

"I'ma need ya'll to give Charlie Brown his tree back!"

*LadyLee breaks out into a bootleg version of "Christmas Time is Here" from a Charlie Brown Christmas.*

"I like it, Lee!"

"I'ma need ya'll to tack on some pine needles, a leaf or something!"

"I still like it, Lee."

"This the type of tree that you can put up during a commercial break. And you can have it up before the show even come back on!"

"It still grows on you," she said, completely ignoring my jonings.

Okay LadyTee, I'll leave you alone!

However you choose to get your "Tree On", get your "Tree on"!!!!

LOL!!!

A LadyLee Christmas (2007)

Still in "retro Christmas" mode. I'm enjoying going back and perusing some of my old Christmas blog posts from years past, and i thought I would share them with you.

The years of 2006-2008... those are interesting years. So much craziness was going on family-wise, that I had to make a decision to go my seperate way and do my own thing. Just so my holidays could have, I don't know, some semblance of normalcy and happiness.

I can't say that I am totally in love with this. There's a slight thread of anger there in my heart concerning such. I question myself. Questioned God. Because like everyone else, I want the warm and fuzzy family Christmases that I see on television on the commercials and shows and movies. But it's not the case...

But I look back, and my Christmases have been good. Very good. For me. And I am grateful and thankful for such. I truly am. And I am so thankful to have a personal record of Christmases past, so I can laugh...

I want to enjoy my present Christmas...

And have hope for future Christmases.

So just a little personal look for you into my heart of hearts, what's on my mind this holiday season.

So... on to my Christmas 2007 recap.


Now I know you're saying...

"LadyLee... How the heck you gonna be all late with the Chirstmas report?"

I just am. My Christmas wasn't all that spectacular. I was just happy to have 2 weeks off. I don't really celebrate the holidays. I'm not really down with hanging out with the family and what not. I was more interested in being by myself really. (Yes. I admit. I am selfish. SUE ME!)

I don't do the whole family get together thing any more. That is over. Stresses me out because I always get in some doggone trouble. I am 37 years old, and I am DONE with all unnecessary and preventable drama.

Looks like the older I get, the less of it I tolerate. Makes me come off as evil, but I don't give a flip.

Humph.

What I do is, during the week of Christmas: I spend a whole day with my Grandma, and a whole day with my Aunt. We all seem to enjoy ourselves a little better that way.

I took Grandma to see The Great Debaters, which she loved. (It is an excellent movie, and Grandma loves herself some Denzel!). I also took her to her favorite Christian Bookstore, and bought her a few books. I also let her know that I was going to hook her up with a debit card for use for her small expenses (gas, grocery, etc.), but she was not under any circumstances to tell my mama, cousins, uncles, etc. I would hate to have to open up my Book of Cuss on folks. I really would. 'Specially if they come smiling in my face.

So we were rolling hard in my z00m-zoom down the highway and I was carefully explaining this arrangement to her.

"It's called confidential, Lee. You want me to be confidential."
I glance at her and then back at the highway. "Yeah, yeah, confidential. Do you know what that word means."
"Yes I do. Confidential means confidential." She nods real slow.
*Lee frowns hard*
"Alright, alright. Long as you know."

Grandma nods again and gives me the hard eye squint.

I'm convinced that Grandma has a little undercover gangster in her. LOL!

I like hanging out with my Auntie Joyce. She always got some type of project going on, whether it be her oil painting, her doll making, sewing, soap making... She always into something. We like to get together, sit at her dining room table and work on things. This time, I was crocheting a blanket for Oscar-Tyrone. I actually finished it up.



Yes, he finally got himself a blanket. I made it with extra yarn left over from Tayari's blanket. I had to pretend it was mine for awhile, but I layed it at the bottom of the bed, and he has taken to it.

But Auntie, she came out the box on me. She took coffee filters and made some, uh, lovely snowflakes, something like that.




Auntie asked an interesting question:
"You wanna try, Lisa? I'll show you how to do it."

I looked at her like she had lost her mind, then straigtened up my face real quick. "Uh, no. That's alright. It's real pretty, but uh, no, you do YOUR thing, Auntie."

LOL.

Of course, I made plenty of cookies.


I have a 100 dollar budget for Christmas, which means people get homemade gifts or a simple "Merry Christmas", if you do get that from me.

LadyTee got her usual gifts, which I know I've given her for at least the past 10 years: storage bags, soap, and cookies. This time I did something new. . . she'd been talking about parchment paper, so I got that too!


And it's that good soap, too. She got locked up once, and they gave her the jail issued soap. She complained to the officers that she had sensitive skin, and couldn't use it, and that she only uses Dove or Tone. Of course they laughed at her.

I, as her best friend, from then on, make SURE she has her Dove and Tone soap! Always!

LOL!

I know she yelled at me something awful on Christmas morning, because I said I would be over there early. We were suppose to go to the dollar movies to see Tyler Perry's Why I Got Married. I messed around and got up late, and dedided to do some writing, which angered her. Plus her son got a Playstation 3 for Christmas.

"Anyway Lee, all you gonna do is get in that back room with Nell and play that doggone game!!"

Yeah, this was my intention, once she told me that was his major Christmas gift. Yes, I've been wanting a Playstation3, but have had to come to terms with the fact that I can't spend that type of money on some ish like that when I have other priorities. (Yes, I am growing up, finally).

"No, LadyTee, I will just have a look at it. Maybe 10 minutes or so. That's all."

*silence on the phone line*

She was hassling me something awful. I was suppose to be over there by eleven in the morning, but I think I got there by three.

Once I saw Nell, I was like... "Yeah, Yeeeeaaaah boy. I heare WE got US a Playstation3."

He had that same glow in his eyes that I have when it comes to gaming. He and I both LOVE the Playstation basketball games.

He wanted me to come look at it.

I had to play it off, or else LadyTee would diss me again, like she had been doing all Christmas morning...


"Dude, let me go in here and talk to your mama for a minute. But set up that Basketball game. Set me up as the Celtics," I whispered. "Go head on and set everything up. I'll be back there in a minute."

I talked to LadyTee, who was in the den, for a half hour or so, then pat her on the shoulder and told her that I was going to go check out Nell's game, and I would be back in a few minutes. She looked like she wanted to go off, but she didn't.

Yeah, I think me and the boy played that game for a good 2 hours. LOL!!

Later, LadyTee, her daughter, her mother Bobbie Jean, and myself went to the movies. That was a good time, especially since the price was 50 cents a piece! They made me drive, so I drove them NUTS with my Coffy Soundtrack.

Afterwards, LadyTee had me drive way off deep in the woods to some house that had a gazillion Christmas light decorations. They had it set up where you drive through their property and look at the displays. It was pouring down rain, and I wasn't in the mood, but I went along with the program.

Some of the displays were... interesting.

Man... when did the peeps from the Wizard of Oz get involved with Christmas?

And when did Snow White and Seven Dwarfs show up for Christmas? Snow White even has a wreath in her hand...

Yo... why is Snow White looking like she's had too much coffee... or too much meth... or has she had too much crack? I mean, she didn't look in the zone like that in the movie or in my coloring books... She looks like she might be singing that "You said I gotta go to rehab... I keep saying no, no,no!) LOL! And my goodness... I'm tripping out on Santa with the Baby Jesus. WOW! And I do love the cake with the candles!

I was all tuckered out after all of that... I went home and went straight to bed...

Overall, it was a great Christmas!

Holiday Happenings (Christmas 2006)

I'm continuing my retro Christmas postings... Here's how I spent my Christmas 4 years ago, in 2006.

Okay, like many in the blogosphere, I went to see the movie on Christmas day...

Shhhhhhh.... Be quiet. You hear that sound???

BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!

It's the sound of Beyonce being blown out the water by Jennifer Hudson...

Jennifer made this movie... If it wasn't for her, man, i don't know... Don't mind me though, because I absolutely HATE plays and musicals...

But um, I can see why Beyonce was hating... And if she wasn't hating, then um...

She ought to be hating!!

All I know, Beyonce better not win an Oscar, a golden Globe, or anything else... and Jennifer not win a doggone thing...

If that happens, then um, there is some serious payola ish going on out there in Hollywood... Exactly how deep do Daddy Knowles pockets run??
Because let's face it, Jennifer Hudson did the doggone thang... Really though...

And anyway, could the other chick, Anika Rose, get a little love please? Why on earth did she get lost in the mix? She had a bigger part in the movie than I thought she would have had, given that she was getting NO hype. I thought she did a great job.

Go see the movie. It was well worth it. And that's coming from an Oldgirl who cringes when it comes to seeing plays and musicals.

I just want to see every one get their proper credit.

Enough said.

Anyways, that was my Christmas gift to myself. I didn't spend time with the fam... I didn't want to be stressed out. Just woke up Christmas morning and did the usual... wrap gifts and bake a whole mess of chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin cookies.



Two words: cheap gifts... Cookies are very cheap gifts.

My goal from now on is to spend no more than 100 bucks total on ALL Christmas gifts. I think I spent 90 bucks this year on gifts for friends and family.

What's always interesting is what I get LadyTee every Christmas:



Plastic storage bags, caress soap, and a bag of cookies...

Funny story about the Caress soap: LadyTee has sensitive skin. She got locked up some 10 years ago, and when the corrections officers tried to hand her some bootleg jail soap, she politely asked them...

"Do you have some Caress or Dove Soap? My skin is sensitive."

They laughed at her so hard. I am sure they are still chuckling over that request.

Luckily she was only locked up for a few hours.

Every since then, I've made sure to buy her a bar of Caress or Dove soap for Chrismas.

Now, I can't explain the plastic bags. She just likes to store stuff in plastic storage bags. She's been that way for a good 10-15 years. I don't get it, and I really don't care. All I know it's a cheap gift.

Man, I didn't even have Christmas dinner. That's right, no traditional ham, turkey, cranberry sauce... none of that. After the movie, LadyTee and I swung by YUMS, a bootleg fast food place on the corner of University Avenue and Pryor Road. Those Asians had their establishment wide open, even blasting the Soulful Christmas CD.

LadyTee and I split the $6.95 18 piece shrimp dinner.



We didn't even wait until we got back to her place. We situated it on her lap and ate it while rolling down I-85 south and listening to Old school music...

Damn, that was the best Christmas dinner I've had in years!

Ain't nothing wrong with knocking tradition and stepping out the box!!

We went back to her place and watched a Living Single Marathon on BET. Then I went on home before dark. That was best, because the drunk drivers were rolling thick in the ATL earlier that day. (What's up with that?)

Now I got home right as it was getting dark. Why, when I was heading over to Hen's house to see if they wanted a few bags of cookies, was Snake marching up the street screaming my name?

*LadyLee rolling to a stop next to a screaming Snake*

"LadyLee, I've been looking for you!"

"Shorty, it's Christmas! I've been gone."

He takes a long drag on his cigarette and unrolls a sheet of paper containing words written very neatly in cursive. "I've been working on some verses all day! I'm ready to take pictures and recite my verses."


Now I told Snake last week, since he is always lecturing me about one thing or another, to start preparing a few pieces for my blog. (So look out for "Snake Bytes" soon, alright? But not now.) Obviously he didn't get that. He thought I wanted to start on it that very moment. So I patronized him for a moment and sat out on "the stoop" and listened to what he had written thus far.

It's gonna be good ya'll...

I had to cut it short because a few dudes were going over to the prostitute houses, and they were yelling "Yo Snake, introduce us to your friend."

**Crickets**

*LadyLee murmuring "Aww Hell nawl!!!" to Snake and jumping off the stoop, running up to Hen's house leaning on Hen's doorbell, and rushing in when he opens the door*

Snake chastized them for such a request. Not really sure what was said, because the Oldgirl disappeared.

Nope. I wasn't gonna get turned out on Christmas. NOPE. But my Christmas isn't over. I plan on spending a day painting with my Auntie Joyce. And I also plan on spending the day with my Grandma at the movies...

I've decided that I'm going to start planning a Christmas week instead of a Christmas day... That way, I get to spend more time with more people...

But next year? December 25, 2007?

I stood up in my quiet cubicle area at work and made a announcement , to all who would listen:

December 25, 2007, I want to be looking at this:

Enough said.

Hope you are enjoying your Holidays:)

A LadyLee Christmas - Year 2005

As old as my blog is, I have many Christmas tales of old. I thought I would do a little "retro" reposting, especially for those that haven't been reading me since the beginning. So here you go... a rundown of my Christmas - 5 years ago.


I didn't post about my Christmas, so here goes :)

I didn’t take much time off from work this year. I took about 30 hours of leave. (Most employees took 40 to 80 hours off.) But I prefer to work during the Holiday season because it’s nice and quiet and I can get a lot more work done when not surrounded by a lot of negative attitudes.

That probably won’t be the case next year, though. I need to stop putting this job first..

…But that’s another post. I won’t bore you with all that.

But Christmas was nice this year.

The Friday before Christmas, my brother, sister and I hopped in the car and drove out to Cobb county to hang out with Auntie and Uncle Sean… No special Christmas dinner there.. We had chili slaw dogs, fries, chips, sodas, and Key Lime Pie. We also looked at a movie… That was a lot of fun!

Christmas day was nice...

It was the first time a large portion of the family have gotten together in a long time. We haven’t gathered like that since my Grandfather died 4 years ago. It was nice to see my uncles and cousins!

And you would be proud of me… I even got along with my mother.

Dinner was good, most of all because it wasn’t traditional. Instead of Turkey and all the fixings, we had barbeque ribs and fried chicken (with all the fixings!)


Oh, and we also had some chitlins!!!! (Otherwise known as Chitterlings for you sophisticated types.)

As you can see, they disappeared fast. I was the last to get some. I haven’t had chitlins in 4 or 5 years (they messed me up BAD the last time I had them.) But this year, I decided to take my chances. They were oh so good.





My mother’s skittish frisky dog was there, all decked out in her pink rhinestone collar.

Those glowing eyes make her look like some evil Alien spawn from hell. She was quite annoying.

I got a lot of nice gifts. I gave some pretty good gifts. I gave my sister, the Diva of the world, a huge bag of towels, wash clothes, and nice bath products. I also gave out a few gift cards. I gave my mother and aunt bottled water from around the world. I give big batches of homemade cookies to the men in the family.

I would definitely like to tell you about my favorite gift that I received, and the best gift I gave…


My favorite gift…

My brother and I were doing a little running around a couple of days before Christmas. I decided to go into the Linen N’ Things in Fayetteville. (I am CONSTANTLY looking for window treatments or room-darkening blinds for my oversized windows). I didn’t see anything I wanted, but we continued to look around.

Now, I love expensive tripled scented candles. The current brand of high end candles is made by a company called Yankee Candle. I don’t like Yankee Candle candles (they’re not strong enough), but I do like their brand of car air fresheners (you know, the ones that hang from your rear view window).

I am especially fond of “Clean Cotton” scent, and I usually buy those car scents by the handful. I love that scent of clothes fresh out of the dryer!

Well, Yankee Candle has come out with the “Clean Cotton” dishwasher liquid, gentle laundry wash, counter-top cleaner, and fabric refresher.

“Look Lee,” my brother said, pointing at the items. “There’s that Clean Cotton stuff you like.”
My eyes got big, and my heart started beating faster. “Ooh, yeah! I’ma get that! How much they cost?”
We looked around, before we saw the price. “$8.99 a piece.”
I got loud like my name was Quita…
“What the hell? $8.99 for some wanna-be Dawn, Woolite, Windex, and Febreeze? Are ya’ll crazy?”
A few customers looked at me like I was half-crazy. A Linens N’ Things worker casually walked away.
“But you like it, Lee!” my brother countered.
“Bump that. I don’t like it that much!! Let’s bounce, man!”

Fast forward to Christmas morning. My brother gives me a big box.
“I want you to open my gift first, Lee,” he said with a smile.
I opened the box, and lo and behold…
There were all those “Clean Cotton” products that I’d been wailing about…


I was thoroughly shocked and surprised.
“Boy, I’m gonna make this last!”
“You might as well use it, Lee, because that’s what you’ll be getting from now on!”
Oh well, I will use it, but only sparingly.

Thanks, D! :)

The best gift I gave…

My sweet, quiet little grandma is old school. She had a 13” TV that blitzed out on her, and she decided to take it to a repairman. She mentioned this at Thanksgiving, and we were all sitting there looking at her like she was crazy, but we were like... whatever.


But on Christmas, I walked into her house and noticed it was pretty quiet, save for the chit-chat of my relatives. Later on, after we’d eaten and opened gifts, I watched my Mother and sister engage in an intense game of Scrabble.

Grandma walked up…

“So Grandmama, when are you getting’ the TV out the shop?” I asked.
“I went to pick it up the other day, and the man say it ain’t ready?”
I squinted at her. “How long has that TV been in the shop?”
“Oh, for ‘bout a year.”

I almost fell off the sofa. A 13” TV. In the shop. For a year.

“Grandmama, do you want a new TV?” I asked.
“Hunh?”
“I said do you want a new TV?”
“Yeah, I do, but the man say it’s gonna be ready soon.”
"I’ll pick you up tomorrow, and we’ll go get you a new TV."
"Oh well, okay," she muttered, while wringing her hands.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
“I don’t have the money for a new TV, Sugar..”
*Crickets*.

To make a long story short, it took me a few minutes to convince her to get a new TV.

We didn’t go the next day to get a TV (It’s was a bit rainy for a couple of days after Christmas).
But today (Friday), my brother and I went to HhGreg and bought her a nice 20” Toshiba with the built in VCR. (On Christmas, we tried to talk to her about DVDs, but this confused her. We thought it best to just get her a TV-VCR combo).

We took the TV over to her house and set it up. My brother rigged a 1972 antenna he found on an old TV in the bedroom to the new TV and programmed the channels.

All Grandmama could say was…
“Look ah here, look ah here!” over and over again.

It was nice to see a smile on my Grandma’s face! I wish I could have bought her a nice 60” flat screen!

So that’s the gist of my Christmas.

I hope your holidays have been all you wanted them to be!