Friday Food-for-Thought: The Mind...MORE than a Terrible thing to waste

I think I scare ya'll with the spiritual food for thought. Ya'll want it, but you seem to tip-toe away. I tend to be a bit too deep, don't I? LOL.

Sweepstakes still in full effect. We have seven more days. I think I have some 10-15 more posts. We will see. Comment for a chance to win!

On to today's Food-for-thought...  

A few posts back, I wrote a statement about the mind, and the power of it. Specifically, I came to the following conclusion.

Seed is seed, you know. And our hearts are the most fertile of soils. That soil WILL produce...something. And the subconscious mind is millions times stronger than the conscious mind.

I am CONSTANTLY thinking about seed issues. You know people by the FRUIT they produce. And good fruit comes from good roots and good trees. And all that comes from good SEED planted. (Ya'll know how I feel about this. I dream about these isshas).

Laura commented on that post, saying "I learned something new today from your post. I learned that the subconscious mind is a million times stronger than the conscious mind. I need to be more careful what allow in my subconscious mind."

I replied "I need to do a post on that, because I came across that in a few books last year. It is a bit shocking. I never knew that until I read about it."

To which she replied "Please do this has left me pondering some things."

So Laura, I wrote a post about it. Wanna read it? Here it goes.

for Laura...

I read a slew of books last year on the mind and the heart.  The best books were books by scientists who'd  been  in their fields for 30 or more years, and they began to see the connections, the bridges, between the scientific and the spiritual. And that's RIGHT up my alley. I've always believed that the scientific is born out of the spiritual.

One book in particular that I liked was The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton, Ph.D. It was so good that I may go back and read it again.  He gave the most fascinating explanation of the subconscious and the conscious mind, and the difference between the two.

So I will try my best to explain here. It would take pages and pages to do so, but I will give you the 5 cent explanation here.

Aww, yes. Here's a couple of blades of grass. How beautiful.

Here's a few blades of grass. 

Quite nice it is.

And those blades of grass are somewhere out on this countryside.

Somewhere out there. I don't know where.

But here's the thing. When it comes to processing information,  the "conscious mind" is like those few blades of grass, whereas the "subconscious mind" is like the whole entire countryside.

I've read that in a few books, and the first time I saw that, I thought You have GOT to be kidding me.

But it's true. And Lipton's book afforded the most thorough scientific explanation of it all (Chapter 7: "Conscious Parenting: Parenting as Genetic Engineers").

In a nutshell, the conscious mind processes information at 40 enviromental stimuli per second, whereas the subconscious mind processes information at 20 million environmental stimili per second. Our subconscious mind is our autopilot, while our conscious mind is our manual control. The subconscious mind observes the external  and internal awareness and the environment and processes that against previously learned behavior.   The conscious mind has nothing to do with that because it process information too slow. It concentrates on specific things. One thing at a time.

His best example of this phenomenon was that of a projectile coming at your eye. We blink before we have time to consciously think about blinking. And what about when driving, the person in the car ahead of us slams on the brakes. You slam on your brakes before you even consciously think about it.

The best example is one which we can all understand, especially if you know how to drive. When we first learned to drive, we were waaaay conscious of what is going on. Both hands on the wheel, make sure that blinker is on, use all your mirrors, etc. But now, after some years of driving  experience, our subconscious mind deals with much of that. I know myself that I can drink my morning smoothie while listening to the radio or talking to my passenger and  get to my destination just fine. I've been driving certain routes for so long that I can get from point A to point B and without thinking much about it. All my turns are automatic.  I even avoid the potholes that the city refuse to fix. Without seemingly "thinking" about it. You get what I mean.

What was interesting is the whole discussion of our learned behaviors being established in our early childhood years. I've heard that all over the place over the years, but I never understood that until reading about that book, among others. It is too much to discuss here.

I can use myself as an another  example. I ALWAYS wake up every morning writing or thinking about all the wonderful things I want to do that day, whether it be at work or at home. I only get a percentage of it done. Hopefully it's a high percentage. Much of that has to do with my subconcious mind (autopilot) running things versus my conscious mind (manual control/will power). My conscious mind has the "vision". However, things may not go that way. I'd rather lay my tail up in bed and watch Lifetime television for women half a day than get up and clean up, man. Period.  Even at work, I have to list out what I want to do for the day, my little itinerary, and I have to consciously do it and check off items as I go. (I do this at home, too.) I have to consciously do things. I've always wished that things were more automatic for me, like driving a car.

Now with that said, I've had the habit of making "to-do" lists. I didn't start this yesterday. I've been doing it for some 20 years, maybe longer. It is ingrained. It's my automatic. I do it without thinking about it. I feel... odd if I don't do it.


It's such an intriguing subject. This particular subject subscribes to the notion of something I have posted here before:

Thoughts produce your words
Words produce your decisions
Decisions produce your actions
Actions produce your habits
Habits produce your character
Character produces your destiny.

This author, Dr. Lipton, had a different take on it, something that had me all O_O.


Your beliefs produce and become your thoughts. 

Wow. And his book was a treatise on that.  I didn't know there was something that informed my thought life. I thought that was the start of it. No it starts with what we believe. He laid it out like a lawyer, all scientific like. And then he connected it to the spiritual. I was so giddy reading it, lol.

So if we tweak our beliefs, it produces a different destiny, some different fruit. And according to this book, much has been established in our childhood. I myself come from a dysfunctional family. I've spent YEARS untangling bad thoughts and actions. YEARS. I understand that better after my reading.

I am a very compassionate and giving person. I didn't start on that yesterday. Some 17 years ago, I came across someone very compassionate. And giving. I was in my 20s then, and I wanted to be that way, and I thought about it all the time. I am still developing in it, but I find that my compassion is automatic. And I LOVE doing things for people because I am desire to be selfless in this selfish world we live in.  My sister is the same way. One day she said, "I am so glad that I watch you, because I learned that from you, Lisa."

I spent a little time reading about all of this that last year. I even came across some books that dig super deep into how to change your belief systems.  And I'd been doing some of this all along. I thought I was being all original, lol.

For myself, I tend to look at things spiritually. There's a verse in the Bible that comes to mind. Ephesians 4:23...

Be renewed in the spirit of your mind.

That new testament talks here and there about renewing your mind. But this is the only place that states be renewed in the spirit of your mind. Why?

Spirit of the mind = subconscious mind.

I've heard a couple of sermons on that. Things are not all about will power, as will power tends to fail. Whatever you are reaching to do or change, it isn't stable until it has roots. Roots in your subconscious, where those changes become your automatic.

Good good stuff. I could talk about it all day. I am STILL digging deep and reading about it all.

That's the dime store explanation, Laura, with my thoughts thrown in the mix. Hon, you're gonna have to go do some reading if you want to understand more.

I tell you one thing. I think about this when I drive my car now.

I sure do.

How can I not think about it.

The Pain of Judgment

I have to warn you right now that I have been way deep into the deeper parts of my morning pages and highlighting eyebrow raising epiphanies. These are more "spiritual" than not. Not religious, as I fail miserably at religion. I'm not your perfect "church folk" type of person. I am looking for relationship. I am looking to trust in God. That's my angle. So over the next few days, for bloggaversery purposes, we gonna post up some thought-provoking entries.


So I woke up one morning and saw this:

 I was shocked. Not in the way that you think one would be shocked, though. I was more in the vein of, man... I thought they were voting on marriage equality in one or two states. Not nationwide. I don't keep up with political issues too much. This was a countrywide issue. WOW.

My reaction is not outrage. It is not yippee, either. (since I'm not gay, I'm not sure why I should be cartwheeling in the streets). I do remember saying over the past couple of years in various discussions. Man listen... LBGT is knee deep in money, and they have lobbyists. They will get there issues passed.

We discussed and discussed over hot cups of coffee or in passing. Then voila. It's the law of the land. And us religious folks are all up in arms about it. I am a bit O_o behind that.

It rubs me the wrong way... all that judgment, that is.

And it's one of the reasons why I just don't care for "religion". When I think of religion, I think judgment. I think legalism. I fail at religion, i.e., the rules and regulations... and the judgment.

Come on now, here is the problem. We don't live in a Theocracy. The bible is not law of the land.  We would all be failing miserably at it. There are 10 commandments and over 600 laws there.

 And if you break one, you break them all. It is daunting. I have been divorced. I've fornicated to the heights of fornicaticity. I've lied, cheated, stole, been adulterous, eaten shellfish and pork... all kinds of stuff. In other words, instead of finger pointing, I need to go sit down in a corner and face the wall... and shut up.

Not sure why people are judging. It's the law of the land. And if you don't like it, don't go marry anyone of the same sex. Period. Leave people alone.

You're awful, LadyLee, you may think. No I am not. I choose not to judge folks. Or, at least I work on trying not to judge folks. Trust me, it's an ongoing job to work towards not being judgmental. And I I don't want to be a Pharisee.

I thought about how, over the years, I've sat and talked to gay friends and coworkers. And since we are friends, they allow me to ask questions, because you have to admit, this is different. I mean,  I can't imagine looking at another woman with desire.  That is beyond me.  I've written about my Uncle Olin and his man of thirty plus years Otis. I was a child, and would never ask them questions. But I have asked questions of others.

I remember working with a man who'd been married twice to women, but he had chosen to be with a man. And he was happy. And you know me, I asked a bunch of questions. And he answered them all. I had a chance, at a young age (I think I was 21 or 22), to just sit and listen to his story. To this day, I admire his honesty.  I have had conversations with friends who have had similar experiences and much different ones. I have had to console friends in same-sex abusive relationships (which really boggled my mind.I have been sitting there listening and thinking... Ain't no way no chick gonna beat my tail. (I cleaned that thought WAY up for you)). I've seen plenty of situations. And I thought about all that, all these conversations over the years.

With that in mind, it has never crossed my mind to stand and point my finger and judge. It is what it is. A people fought for their rights and won. Period.

However, they still have to hide. You can get fired if you're homosexual. I work with some closeted folks. We all know they are who they are, but it will never be uttered. There is no federal law to protect people against that.

I am thinking about all this because I came across an enlightening diary entry. I can't say I prayed much about this, but I prayed more about why there was so much visceral hate from Christian people. Seems like we should be operating differently.

The answer was a simple one, but complex.  I made sure to write it down:

"It's much more difficult to walk in love toward people than to walk in hate."

Harsh, but true. It is difficult to sit our personal beliefs/philosphies aside (although they aren't really being set aside), and treat people in a way that we wish to be treated.  That is HARD.

On the morning of June 28th, I woke up and was melancholy. I thought it was because I had been watching so much news and had been watching the squabbling over this subject matter. It was such an assault on my psyche, and so depressing. So I spent time writing about it all. 

Much more intriguing is something else I wrote...

"One of my core philosophies is that I will never push what I believe for myself off on anyone else. Never. It is one thing to sit here and have thoughts about someone's life and choices, but to act out and judge them over it?  That is too much for me. One thing that I truly appreciate is that the Holy Spirit catches me at thought level. And He speaks concerning that particular thought. I SO appreciate it because I gain so much understanding. I will always appreciate the concern, care, and teaching moments in life. They are high in my memory, and I must say that it give me comfort to know that the Holy Spirit can tap me on the spiritual shoulder and say 'Hey, let me talk to you about something... '".

 Yes, I appreciate that. You will never know how much I get out of making a correction. And stuff I've been struggling with for years gets taken care of quickly. Not sure if you have had that experience, but I have.

But a much more intriguing question came up. I came across it while reading my entry for the same day. I've been pondering the question for the past month, and I will be thinking about it for awhile.

"Something interesting came to mind.  And I think it is from the Holy Spirit, simply because of its profoundness. If left alone, with no one to look at and judge, how would you feel about yourself? How would you deal with the pain and discomfort even of having only your own deep rooted personal issues and business to tend to? With only your ownself and actions to judge?"

Hmm... how profound is that? How uncomfortable is that?

How scary and painful is that?

Like I said, that has been heavy on my heart and in my prayers.  I'm still trying to understand the breadth and depth of that. It is layered. Highly layered. And it's on my mind when I watch the news or listen to people around me, even. The finger is always pointed. "You're gay!" "You're a different race!" You're tall!" You're too short!"  "You're fat!" "You're skinny!"

In other words you're different than me. Your beliefs differ from mine. You aren't the same race as me. On and on and on.

What happens if one becomes well seasoned in judging oneself... rather than being so quick to judge another?

I dream of that level of maturity.

I myself am still working on that one.

Always and forever.

Wednesday's Words

I was heading to morning Bible Study in our chapel a couple of weeks ago and I saw this poster on the wall...

The children's daycare is in the building. This sign was near the bathrooms. The usher gave me permission to take a picture.

I thought to myself... I wish I had that on my wall growing up...

I wish I had that at home on my wall even now.

Dear Ladylee, 

I love you with an everlasting love... 

Thoughts on Imposition, Jealousy and Envy

(This post may not make much sense, so take it as you can. I am just trying to indirectly link up a couple of ideas. I wanted to post one of my favorite personal pieces of scripture over the last year. And a friend wanted me to post a conversation we had recently.  At any rate, I am sure you will learn something from it. I know I did.)

I read a good amount of scripture, and I sort of get stuck on a few here and there... 

Here's one that I read a couple of years ago... I thought much about it in the past year, and I was reminded of it when I talked to a friend about something last week. 

Romans 14: 22-23 (MES)  Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others. You're fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you're not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you're out of line. If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong.

That is such a loaded verse. And I thought of it often in the past year.

I was reminded of it because my friend has a church in her city that is not her church home, but she enjoys their podcasts and text messages on a regular basis and she finds them helpful with her personal issues. Many ministries offer podcasts and text messages for the general public free of charge. I subscribe to a couple myself. Some even have apps, which makes it all even more convenient. 

But my friend was a bit down because she sees so much negative hate for this church. She even sent me a very long objective article on them, just to get my thoughts. I have to admit that I had never heard of the church. But I found the article interesting... 

My comment to her (a couple of times) was... Do you see how much charitable work they do? Do you see how much seed they sow into the community? 

And you know how I feel about seed and fruit and trees and roots and all of that. 

You know a tree (person, church) by by the fruit it produces. 

And I was a bit blown away about all that this church was doing in the general community, in the face of criticism. The church was growing by leaps and bounds. There were good testimonies from people about their progress while there, too.  

So why in the world was there so much hate?  My answer is that  there is probably some jealousy and envy going on. 

Jealousy is one giving attention to what someone has and wishing they had it. 

Envy is jealousy... with action attached to it. 

Here's an example.

So I see you have a nice car, and it's much nicer than mine. So now I have a problem with you. I am jealous. 

I keep seeing your car... and I am growing more jealous.  

And one day I look around and no one's looking... it's just me and your car. 

I take my keys out of my pocket, and I key up your car. And I key it up real good. I get a kick out of how I hear you crying later, all crushed over your car being keyed up. As a matter of fact, I get quite a bit of joy out of your misfortune.

It felt good. It really did. 

It felt so good that I drove over to your house in the middle of the night with my trusty baseball bat and busted up your car windows. I even pried open the gas tank and poured a few cups of sugar in. 

Jealousy + action = envy.

And that's just one way of looking at jealousy and envy... I've heard many others. This one is a bit vivid, so it sticks with me. I use it as a yard stick to measure my own attitude and actions. And a nice yard stick it is.

Because let's face it. If I have a Maserati, I am not going to be jealous of your Chevy. You don't even register on my mental radar.

And I told my friend that's what's going on. People are jealous, and now they are causing problems. 

Someone is saying "I don't like this church. So let me sow some negative seed (publicity) about this church... let's see if I can cause some trouble. Let me see if some negative fruit can be produced."

And that is how it is in the church community. Churches constantly compare themselves to one another. And these days, all it takes is one or two people to lead a charge against anything and all kinds of chaos ensues. 

This brings me back to my friend. I asked her questions I've had to ask way too many people when they are faced with confusion about these "Churchy" issues. 

Are you getting anything out of the ministry? Is it helping you in any way in your life? Is it bringing about peace, progress and understanding?

And if the answer is yes, then bump what criticism someone has to say about it. 

Which brings me back to the verse above. That entire chapter 14 of Romans is a pretty good chapter, as it delves deeply into our issues of judging others and comparing ourselves to one another. 

I was just pondering my 2013, and my review of the year and the people, places and things that have had a huge affect on me, and I think that verse has been one that I have thought of constantly.

Many of my friends and I go to different churches but we don't give each other a hard time about it. We know each other. We learn from each other. I don't have anyone around me imposing their opinions on me, and I'm not imposing my opinions on anyone. There is freedom to make our own choices, especially concerning our spirituality. And we all benefit and compliment one another in some way.

I can't imagine criticizing anyone's church. What if God is using that place to push them towards their place and purpose in life? Who wants to be in the way of that?

So this church is doing great things. Now seeds of contention and discord are being sown. And that's not good. For it will throw some people off. It will hurt people who are already struggling with doubt.  Just so much trouble is caused.

Can we all tend to our own business?

Just looking at that verse, we all have our hands full cultivating our relationships with God. Finding our way and all that. And we're fortunate if our beliefs and our behaviors are matching up. This tells me that beliefs and behaviors fall out of sync from time to time, and must be paid careful attention to.

But how can we do that when we're busy criticizing others and imposing our views on others.

Just a thought.

I have much experience with this. Everybody and their Mama has an opinion about my spiritual choices and my church of choice. I don't care. I look at who I am and my progress over time and I let that be my witness. And I'm not a people pleaser. I do what is best for me. Period.

Anyway, I told my friend that a church doing that much in the community will come under attack.  Because we just can't have people making progress in peace, can we?  Gotta be some contention involved.

And I told my friend when that occurs, don't let it throw her off. She's getting much out of a ministry in her city, and it is a good complement to what she is learning in her own church. And that's a good thing.

I hope she doesn't let "imposing opinions" sway her progress. 

Sunday Commentary

I have no idea what to post today.
Someone suggested "hey" and "by".

Uh, nope.

I went to church on Saturday and Sunday evening. This is interesting because it starts at 7 pm. Someone sangs a good short song, whoever is preaching says a prayer, and then they have about 50 minutes to preach. Say a prayer at the end, and we are GHOST at 7:59 pm.

No talking much about offering. Give as you leave. GOOD-BYE.

LOL. Fine by me. I live 15 miles away. I am at home chilling by 8:25. That's the business.

I like this saturated way of doing things. This went on some 8 years ago for 30 days and I got a lot out of it. I have a TON of notes.  So I think I will post a few things that were said from the Saturday service that I found interesting.

From a sermon entitled "How Green is Your Garden"

Wisdom is the ability to skillfully apply what you know.

A garden is a patch of dirt that you pay particular attention to. Your heart is like a garden.
Your garden (your heart) is going to produce what you plant in it or it will produce whatever the wind blows its way (weeds and briars). So you better be paying attention to it. Something is always going on in your garden.

[That made me think of my favorite scripture, Proverbs 4:23- Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life].

The activity you are graced to do in this life will produce peace in your life.

A negative outcome in a situation does not give you the excuse to cuss people out. You cannot walk back across the bridges you burn.

Faith is the sum total of your behavior from the point of having a thought/desire in your mind about something to seeing that thing desired manifested in your life.

Interesting stuff. 

Not bad for one hour on a Saturday night.

Sunday Night Thoughts and Scripture

Ah yes... alas, here we are... Sunday night, where I can list out my spiritual thoughts from the week...

This was a good week. I did a lot of things I need to do for my spirituality this week.

The most interesting thing that happened this week is that I had a good conversation at work with a coworker who has been a member of our church for close to 18 years. He's 50 years old, but I always thought he was joking because he looks like he's in his early 30s. I've always kidded with him that he's a vampire!

LOL!

(I know he had to be kicking the hard eyeroll, and going "This chick here is tripping.")

I didn't know we attended the same church. He seem to know. I think we talked about it before, but heck, I forgot.

But I got a chance to sit down and talk to the brother on Friday afternoon. Short convo, only about 15 minutes long. But I tell you, it was REFRESHING to talk to someone who isn't seeped in misery and negativity. I spend way too much time around that all day long, which accounts for my janky attitude at times. I got a chance to give my thoughts on a few things, and this dude really imparted some good advice and wisdom into my spirit. And it is good to talk to someone and just get their heart on a few things, what they are believing God for, and to discuss the last sermon we heard, etc. It was good to talk to someone who is focused on their personal spiritual growth. That's a gem to find these days. Trust, the "crowd" ain't thinking about that.

I know earlier in the week, I ran up on him about a particulary interesting sermon on last Sunday. He was sitting in a chair at his desk, typing on his computer.

"Man, was you at church last Sunday?"
"Oh yeah, oh yeah! I got the DVD! Sent it to my Mama!"
I grabbed his shoulder, shook his hand. "Could you believe that? That was something good!"
"Yeah," he said. "Already sent Mama the DVD."

LOL

That was funny. I think I've watched that sermon on the internet at least 5 times. I am doing my best to work up a few notes. I rarely buy recordings, but I went to church today (which is rare. I am a friday night church girl) and bought the DVD and the CD. It was something I needed to keep, and I am still working on my notes.

The sermon was on the triune being and understanding your own triune functionality. We are spirit, soul, and body... and it was about getting a crystal clear understanding of the functionality.
Interesting stuff. And it has been something I have been thinking on and working on all year in my personal time, and it was good to hear a sermon on it. And my pastor is the type to stay on a subject for a few months, really purging out and finding every scripture on the matter. So I am spending time with my concordance looking up a few things, and combining them with my notes.

So that was all a very good thing....

Verse of the week. I was discussing some issues with my online play mama, and I told her of a scripture I heard some 7 years ago that has stayed on my mind, and it especially helped me in my faith concerning my prayers. It was out of 2nd Chronicles. One of our assistant ministers was speaking about how his son was born a preemie, and was in an incubator, and how it was a scripture he stood on concerning his hope for his son to pull through.

2 Chronicles 20:9 KJV If, when evil cometh upon us, as the sword, judgment, or pestilence, or famine, we stand before this house, and in thy presence, (for thy name is in this house,) and cry unto thee in our affliction, then thou wilt hear and help.

2 Chronicles 20:9 MESSAGE 'When the worst happens—whether war or flood or disease or famine—and we take our place before this Temple (we know you are personally present in this place!) and pray out our pain and trouble, we know that you will listen and give victory.'

I highlighted what stands out to me. Actually it all stands out, but that part highlighted is the easiest thing for me to remember... and it gives me faith towards the fact that God hears when we cry out, and will help.

I find with many, when they haven't been praying about things (because that is the first thing I ask), it is always pointing back to some unbelief or not being sure that God hears... and will help.

I have struggled at times with that. But I always go back to this verse. And I, like many, have a long laundry list of prayer victories.

So we discussed that. A good discussion.

I usually like to look at about 10 different version of the same verse. The most interesting one I found was, pararaphrasing, "In our times of distress, we can pray, and You will hear and You will help."

Distress. You find out what you believe in times of distress. You find out what you are made of in times of... distress.

That has been my meditation scripture of the week. I can write all day on it.

But I will spare you.

Jeremiah. Still reading through. I came across a much quoted verse. I loved reading it in context of what is going on in the book. But I think you will recognize the scripture. I am posting up the Message Version.

Jeremiah 29:11 "... I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you home for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for Me, you will find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed. God's decree. I'll turn things around for you."

That's is one heck of a faith filled verse. Goodness. And to read it in context was great. The jankiness of the people in the book of Jeremiah is paramount.

I love that verse. It helps me remember that I am on God's mind.

Joyce Meyer's Living Beyond your Feelings.This is a fantastic book. I have it on my phone via my kindle app. So I can highlight and save the parts I want to remember and go over later.

I am on the chapter on forgiveness, which I must admit that I struggle with. This was an interesting passage out of that chapter.

I have learned that once I make a decision to forgive- to let the offense go and forget it- I must also stop talking about it unnecessarily. The more I pay attention to the offense, the more strength I give it. But if I ignore it, then it is easier to get over it emotionally.

Joyce Meyer gives a little insight into her own process. Looking at my own process, it made good sense. You know if I am harping on something, I am mad, and I am struggling to forgive. If I ain't talking much about it, it's not really renting out space in my mind. And I've probably forgiven, and made my peace with it.

Something for me to think about indeed.

Song of the week. One i love when my choir sings it. It was good to come across it on Youtube earlier this year. I am glad someone posted it up.





That is Constance singing. She starts off soft and ends strong. Today at church she started and finished strong. Make me wanna yell "Sang that Song, Constance!"

That's my song I play in the mornings when I am all grouchy about going to work. Right before I go out the door, when I am packing my bags, and locking the house down.

Right before i say "Bye Oscar! You have a fine day, boy!"

LOL

Well, not bad for this week. Sorry for the long post. This could have been a 4 part post, couldn't it?

A lot on my mind. I must say that I spend a good 90% of my time pondering my spirtuality and growth.

I'm still working on the other 10%.

Nice to take a break from my tomfoolery...

The Flocking of Birds

I received an interesting set of downloads from my online Mama Adrienne. She attended her church's national conference a few weeks ago, and I always tell her if she sees or hears something interesting, to feel free to share.

She attended a series given by Bishop Noel Jones, and she wanted me to listen to them... This is uber cool, because I can always get something out of it all...

She is tapping her feet, waiting for a set of notes and thoughts from me about it all. That is hard, because those notes will reach dissertation length. Goodness.

You know me, I like to chew on stuff like you chew on a good piece of fried chicken. Gnaw on the bone and get ALL the flavor out of it that I can.

What was so interesting about this series? It went a LONG way in thoroughly explaining a verse of scripture that is true, but has baffled me nonetheless.

Romans 7:14-25 (Message version)

"I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary. But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."

I must say that I have never cared for that verse of scripture. It describes the dicotomy that exists within us all. I've pursed my lips at it over the past 15 or 20 years. Probably because it is true.

So that seem to be the gist of the downloads: this Dark Side we have and how to deal with it.

Because we all got it.

I myself open my good Book of Cuss on folks from time to time, and read verses and chapters from it. It happens to the best and worst of us alike. It is rare like a lunar eclipse, though. There have been folks who like to push, push, PUSH my buttons. Push my buttons so hard that ALL the buttons break. And I just lose it.

And when all is said and done... I end up wondering "Where the HECK did THAT come from? Was that ME?"

And I, your friendly neighborhood Oldgirl, have this passive agressive nature that rises it's head from time to time. That gets me in a world of trouble. A world. Those who know me well and have dealt with it, and are still choose to deal with me, well I know they love me truly for who I am. Those who have dealt with it, and punish me for it, well... they can kick rocks.

Let those reading who don't have idiosyncracies cast the first stone, man.

Sigh. Frustrating to say the least. Interestingly enough, the more I nurture my spiritual side, the dark side becomes a rarity... but it is still there.

Yes, we all have a dark side.

BUT, I don't want to talk about that. I want to share something I heard within those sermons, something closely related to it.

If I have a lot of crazy people around me, it is because I enjoy crazy. And because they are crazy. If you come into my space, you will find crazy people. Because I have some crazy in me, and the crazy in me likes the crazy in them. So I have them in my space, to feed the crazy in me. I like the madness. But my ego will say I‘m too sophisticated for madness. But on the other side of the sophistication, there is room for madness.

I was sitting at my desk, scratching away on some paperwork, crunching numbers when I had to
STOP.

And go back and listen to that, and think on it.

And I raised an eyebrow.

Whispered "That's very true" to myself in my own private space.

It's a crazy way of saying "Birds of a feather flock together."

Yes, it is true.

And in the above statement, you can replace the word "crazy" with a plethora of words.

But the word "crazy" has highly idealogical and visual connotations.

In other words, we all have our own definition of what "crazy" is.

And we all have ran into "crazy", or got a little crazy in us.

Interesting.

Now when I think of "crazy", I think of the word DRAMA. So yes, I can rebuild that quote above very easily.

If I have a lot of dramatic people around me, it is because I enjoy drama. And because they are dramatic. If you come into my space, you will find dramatic people. Because I have some drama in me, and the drama in me likes the drama in them. So I have them in my space, to feed the dramatic part of me. I like the madness.

I have come across people who have A LOT of drama going on. And you can tell they love it, although they be hollering how they don't. (That's that ego, the sophisticated part of them talking.) And eventually, I get caught up in their vacuum, even though I tend to stay waaaay out on their outer fringes. Sigh.

I don't like drama. I get in trouble for not being dramatic.

Like I said, I don't validate folks questionable behavior.

Trust me, I've paid dearly for such. I've been punished like you wouldn't believe.

Birds of a feather flock together.

I would much rather soar with the eagles, if I can.

Or at least get my strut on with some strong strutting chickens.

Hence, we can put a positive spin on that quote, can we?

If I have a lot of successful people around me, it is because I enjoy success. And because they are succcessful. If you come into my space, you will find successful people. Because I have some success in me, and the successful part of me likes the successful part of them. So I have them in my space, to feed the successful part of me.

That sounds more... soothing. Less jarring.

Much more positive indeed.

Yes it does. Alas, all of it is true. Whatever adjective you choose to use, well, it is a true statement. I like good positive words: successful, caring, compassionate, strong, moral, spiritual... and the like.

And you know what it made me think about?

The people in my personal space.

No, I don't do cliques. Ugh. I fail at such. And cliques, let's admit, have negative connotations.

No, but the people who are around me, who know me well, who know my business, who help me with advice, etc.

And those people who are a thorn in my side.

It makes me assess those things.

What and who needs to strengthened?

What and who needs to be pruned?

Just who is in my flock? The chickens, the eagles... the birds in general.

Who's flocking with me? Who am I flocking with?

Lots to consider and think about...

My poor online Mama... Honey, expect a few extra pages attached to those dissertation length notes you are expecting from me.

Sigh.

(But a good sigh indeed.)

Food-for-Thought: The Mystery of Seduction

Look at you.

You saw that title and you just had to read.

Get your mind out the gutter.

This post is about seduction. But ain't nobody trying to snatch your panties off over in these parts, honey. And ain't no tips on how to seduce your man. NERP.

This is a seduction of a different type. Something more subtle. A post I snatched, like I like to do from time to time, from the Original Oldgirl Lovebabz. She like to bust out her Original Oldgirl Platinum Plus card and use that sucka.

And she did it here.

Enjoy. Parts that left me thinking are highlighted by me in red... and you know I have a super duper LONG commentary and thoughts on the subject matter. You don't have to read that part. That part is for me.

So enjoy... and ponder.

Saturday, April 30, 2011
THE SEDUCTION OF WANTING MORE....
by LoveBabz

I have all that I need at this point in my life. But, I want more! Now here's where it gets tricky....the wanting more. What is wanting more? and what do I mean when I say I want more?

Do I want more love? Money? Free Time? Prosperity? Great Friends? What is the wanting more? I believe I waxed poetic about this a long time ago, and now I am revisiting it. I hear myself saying all the time I just want more. And honestly I can't really explain what the more is.

Maybe it's not that I want more, but perhaps there is a balance and sense of peace that I am after. Maybe it's wanting what I already have and moving my mind to embrace that thinking. What is wanting more? and what do I want more of ? Am I really mindless in my declarations of wanting more? Am I saying that by having more is a sign of success? Does having more give me the security I so desperately want?

I am easily seduced by the worldly messages of Get More, Have More, Want More, More More More!. The more I want the less I think I have. This train of thought keeps me rooted in lack. As long as I see myself with less and the desire for more grows, I remain trapped in a cycle of dis-ease, chaos, worry, over indulgence, greed and selfishness. I am not being overly critical, just standing in my truth. And in standing in truth you got to turn over and put down all the lies that keep you mired in madness, unhappiness, depression and mess. I find myself measuring my happiness by the things I have and acquired. That is a false sense of peace and pride. I know it...or at least I am learning it.

Overcoming the seduction of wanting more will require me to pay closer attention to my heart and mind. To be more conscious of what I say and how I speak it in prayers and everyday conversations. If there is more to be had, then I have to redefine that from a grounded spiritual, loving and God focused place. If there is more for me, then it has to be used for the greater good of serving and not just receiving for the sake of having more.

I am thinking and feeling my way forward. My birthday is coming and the kind of woman I want to be is right there on the horizon. I am walking toward her.


LadyLee's commentary.

Man oh man... I tell you. I sure would like to sit down with Babz and talk about life over a good cup of coffee. She's like a treasure chest of wisdom. I'd love to pick her brain on a few things.

That Oldgirl KNOW she be dropping some knowledge. She know she knows how to make me ponder... and wonder.

And here she go with a most poignant post.

You know, there's a lot going on in that post. Not only does she fully examine the problem at hand, but she puts forth a most viable solution. And if you can't discern what she's saying... man oh man, you missing something extra special.

I'm going through a time right now where my spirit is firecracker active. Don't know how to explain that, and I won't explain that here. Certain situations bring up scripture in my spirit. (It gets a bit annoying at times, lol). But when I read that post, one verse immediately came to mind. I went and looked it up with the quickness. It was I John 2:16. I read several versions of it, and the Amplified version seems to ring strongest for me.

For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh [craving for sensual gratification] and the lust of the eyes [greedy longings of the mind] and the pride of life [assurance in one's own resources or in the stability of earthly things]--these do not come from the Father but are from the world [itself].

Whenever I see "the world" in the Bible, I always like to replace that with "society". Just me. Helps me understand it better.

And another related verse comes up... one which seems to be indirectly connected to the verse above, and one that I just can't get away from. It's not my favorite verse, but it is one that I remember. Proverbs 4:23... And I've posted several versions of it so you can understand the full scope of it.

Proverbs 4:23 AMP Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.

Proverbs 4:23 NCV Be careful what you think,because your thoughts run your life.

Proverbs 4:23 CEV Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life.

Proverbs 4:23 GNT Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart,for everything you do flows from it.

Interesting...

And here comes my girl Lovebabz, with her own personal treatment and thoughts on seduction.

Now when I think of seduction, one thing immediately comes to mind: getting lured into some sex.

Oh yeah. I've been trapped quite a few times. Done got to fighting with my man. Messed around and left something at his house and gotta go get it. Then end up getting talked out of my panties. Then having to look for my panties...much later.

(CowgirlCre had preached the "one carload rule" to me numerous times. If you fight with a man, you want all your stuff to fit in one carload, so you don't have to come back for NOTHING - no furniture, no clothes, nothing!)

Yes, I was seduced. And I've done some seducing my ownself.

LOL.

When I think of seduction, I think of that.

But this is different.

I'm not the most learned oldgirl in the world... so I went and looked up the word seduction.

Seduction: the act of being led astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; the act of being corrupted; the act of being persuaded or induced into having sexual intercourse; the act of being led or drawn away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance.

Seduction means a lot of things.

And when reading Babz' post and thoughts, I'm drawn to the meaning of seduction meaning "the act of bieng led or drawn away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance."

And I'd like to add to that, seduction can be defined as the act of being led away from thinking soberly.

I live in a society where everything is very fast, very cool, and I gotta have it right now! I better be running with the crowd real good if I want to fit in. I better be doing what the crowd do, in total agreement from start to finish. Now I'm taking alllll this in, watching it, seeing it, doing it, speaking it, etc...

In effect, I have been seduced... subtley. Almost without me even realizing it.

No wonder it starts to affect my thought life, my thoughts about myself, and I get confused and not well grounded in discerning what I really want or need out of life to be truly happy.

Just looking at I John 2:16, my world encompasses what I see in other translations of the verse:

CEV Our foolish pride comes from this world, and so do our selfish desires and our desire to have everything we see. None of this comes from the Father.

NLT For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions.

Can't say I like that. But it's true. Look at everything that's on TV. Listen to our popular music (highly sexualized indeed!), and how we gotta keep up with the Jones' because they got more than we got... And all this pride we take in what we have, in our degrees and all that.

"Stop preaching, LadyLee," you holler.

Ain't nobody preaching. I aint' the most religious Oldgirl in the world (you know I don't really care for religiosity and legalism). I do and have done much of the same thing you do. I'm getting older now, and the older I get, the more I ask myself the questions that LoveBabz is asking of her ownself...

And certain questions aren't ones you ask yourself when you got your hands raised in the sanctuary, doing the *church shouts*. Looking all good, all smiles!

But certain questions you ask when you are alone with your thoughts, late in the midnight hour, when it's just you and the darkness... when there are no "hallelujahs", no church shouts, and you and I are being our true selves... who we are when no one is looking...

"I have all that I need at this point in my life. But, I want more! Now here's where it gets tricky....the wanting more. What is wanting more? and what do I mean when I say I want more?...What is the wanting more?...Does having more give me the security I so desperately want?
"

I myself have asked myself these questions, because like Babz, I understand that I have been seduced... as she says "by the worldly messages of Get More, Have More, Want More, More More More!"

Where does it always get me? Still wanting more.

And never satisfied.

Get More, Have More, Want More, More, More, More!!

Sets up a vicious neverending cycle, much like a mouse running on a running wheel... getting nowhere fast.

Now there's nothing wrong with wanting more. As long as it's coming from a good place. When I see myself as always not having enough, not being satisfied and thankful for where I'm at and not being mindful of how far I've come, that's where the problem starts... that's when I start to believe lies, and lack begins to take root in me...

And the fruit of such is produced... as Babz says above: madness, unhappiness, depression and mess.

And that ain't good.

And so an interesting solution has been brought forth by Babz. And she is confirming something that I have been thinking and praying about. She's definitely confirming a few of the answers I've gotten in my own prayers concerning this type of thing.

1. Pay closer attention to my heart and mind
2. To be more conscious of what I say and how I speak it in prayers and everyday conversations
3. Redefine my wants and needs from a grounded spiritual, loving and God focused place.
4. Use what I obtain for the greater good of serving and not just receiving for the sake of having more.

Man... If I can wrap my mind around those 4 steps right there... I'd be something special.

Better yet, I'd have something special.

Personal peace.

A sense of purpose.

Rest.

Thanks Lovebabz. You were talking to yourself, but you sure do know how to talk to this Oldgirl through your words.

Food For Thought: On Romans 14, Sandwiches and Good Times

Yeah. I'ma do it.

I'ma do it.

Post a WHOLE chapter of the bible. I rarely do such. I just read this this morning, and found it... important.

Read through it if you can... tell an Oldgirl how you feel about it. I'll put my 2 cents in at the end of the chapter. I've been reading through the book of Romans with my play Mama, a chapter a day (HATE that we almost done :::cries:::). We pick it apart like bones from a piece of good fish, lol.

Parts that stood out to me are highlighted in red.

This is taken from the Message Version of the Bible.


Romans 14

Cultivating Good Relationships

1 Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

2-4For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ's table, wouldn't it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn't eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God's welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.

5Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.

6-9What's important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God's sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you're a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. It's God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other. That's why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.

10-12So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I'd say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we're all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren't going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture:

"As I live and breathe," God says,
"every knee will bow before me;
Every tongue will tell the honest truth
that I and only I am God."
So tend to your knitting. You've got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.

13-14Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I'm convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.

15-16If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don't eat, you're no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet? Don't you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!

17-18God's kingdom isn't a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness' sake. It's what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you'll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.

19-21So let's agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don't drag them down by finding fault. You're certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God's work among you, are you? I said it before and I'll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them sprawling. When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive and courteous to the others who are eating. Don't eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.

22-23Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others. You're fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you're not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you're out of line. If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong.


LadyLee's RANT, I mean, Thoughts

Well well well...

That's some good reading, ain't it? Some good information.

I am tripping on the vegetarian thing. Why is it that when I tell people that I am trying to transition to vegetarian, they automatically assume I'm about to jump on them about eating meat? What the world. Heck no. You do you. I do me. An Oldgirl just trying to be pain-free. Man, I've been known to stop and get a 20 piece hot wing and take it to a meeting... I dont' want any, but someone there may want a good hot wing, you know?

Hmm...

You do you. And I do me.

We should be able to sit down, enjoy each others company, split a sandwich, and watch a good episode of Good Times.

But tell me something... Why is it that us good Christian folk don't adhere to the standards presented there within, within this chapter? Because, you have to admit: this is a good chapter. Would clear up much mess if it was followed or taken a little serious.

This is a good explanation for why I don't get in arguments with folk over "religion". You never hear me hollering "My preacher better than yours" or "My church better than yours."

Heck, I don't even like religion. I fail miserably at whatever "rules" are set up. Sorry, that's just me. I just want to grow in my relationship with God. Help others on that road as I travel my own road. THAT IS ALL. Relationship. Not religion. Please and Thank you.

I don't fight with you. I'm just happy you found a church home where YOU are happy, content, and growing. Period. And maybe YOU can come back and share something with me that will help me in my growth, add to my being.

How about that?

CONCENTRATE on that. Instead of judging and criticizing others. (Man, people always got something to say when they figure out what church I go to. I don't care. I just make a mental note of you turning your nose up at me. And I MAKE sure not to criticize where YOU go to church. And go on from there).

Why is it that I have a better chance of having a healthy convo/discussion with an atheist, but have to deal with the closed-minded Christians? Baffles me.

Because at the end of the day, we should be able to agree to disagree...

And sit down and have a sandwich and watch a funny episode of Good Times.

Listen, I love people's opinion. I love getting an understanding of a person's opinion, whether it is like mine, or differs from mine. Why? because your opinion is critically important. It wasn't just formed yesterday. It is a culmination of all your hurt, joy, pain, failures, victories, needs, hatred, experiences, knowledge... it is a snapshot of who you are inside. I respect the cheese out of your opinion, like I said, whether it is the same as mine or different. I will tell you, I learn more about life when your opinion is different from mine.

We should be able to sit down and split a sandwhich... and watch an episode of Good Times.

That chapter above is about relationships. It delves heavy into how to cultivate good ones. As a result, it talks about how relationships go bad, most notably, centering on the judgmental nature of Christian folk, when all in all, everything should be centered on giving God glory and honor.

Hmm...

I have TERRIBLE issues with people who are always criticizing others. I've always thought to myself that such a person is doing so because they are not facing the issues of their own lives.

Two verses in particular, I find interesting:

So tend to your knitting. You've got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.

and

22-23Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others. You're fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you're not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you're out of line. If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong.

I know one thing. I am not perfect. I am a work in progress, and I have many problems of my own, so much so that I don't have time to sit here and dog you out about yours. I don't say anything unless I can help your situation and be of encouragement in some way. Me dogging you out or looking down on you means for myself, that I am not dealing with or taking care of the problems of my own life. And that ain't good.

I like where it says that you're fortunate if your behavior and your beliefs are coherent, i.e., line up. That let's you know that yes, that is a problem for some people. I see it in myself, and in those around me. It goes so far to say that you may notice you have days when you are busting folk upside the head with your opinion (you know how folk can get) and days when you have ulterior motives, i.e., doing stuff to get people to accept you. It basically tells you to check yourself.

I try to check myself contstantly against that...

Am I being opinionated, instead of being helpful?
Are my motives, purposes and intents on the up and up?

Self-examination and self-assessment is critical.

For I hope to be moving into a place where my beliefs and actions are consistent...

Yes, work in progress indeed. And that's alright.

Whelp! My biblical rant has ended.

I like that chapter. Don't you? Wondering what you thought of it. You may see something different that I didn't see.

And

Wish they would teach that chapter in church more often...

Guess that's why it's important for you to read the Bible for yourself, eh?

*lee eating sandwich while watching Good Times*

Thoughts on Purpose, Part II

For Part I, see Thoughts on Purpose

Dedicated to my "Play Mama"---Blogger and Twitter sista Adrienne

So...

My church, WCCI, just celebrated our 25th church anniversary.

It started with 8 lone members back in 1986... now some 40,000 members between the ATL and Manhattan campuses, and the satellite churches. GLORY!

I like my church. This is my 9th year of membership, and it's been great for me. Maybe I will do a post on why I go there, one day. But today's not that day, honey!

For now, I am just thankful to God for giving me a pastor with some of the same emotional issues I have. As a result, I've made great strides in working through them, especially when he teaches out of his own issues.

*blank stare*

(You didn't think it was all about money, did you? *lee raises eyebrow* lol)

Moving right along!

We gonna stay on target, and keep talking about

Purpose

Anyway, as usual with church anniersaries, there's always a someone who comes in and preaches for the anniversary, thereby allowing the pastor to sit back and relax.

This year we had a minister from Nigeria, Pastor Sarah. She pastors a large church in Nigeria. It was her husband's church, but he passed and she had to get in there and head it up.

So she preached this year.

Very good sermon. Me and sister watched on the internet. Didn't go to church because my pastor was calling folk hollering about come to church because Karen Clark-Sheard was going to be there. This means ALL the negroes who don't go to my church gonna show up. That means crowded. BUMP that. That's how it was with Yolanda Adams and Donny McClurkin. When the stuff is FREE, negroes come out the woodworks!

But Pastor Sarah showed up on the scene... in full African garb, so shocked and honored to preach for our churches 25th anniversary.

She said she had to pinch herself, had to look at herself in the mirror... She felt like she was Michelle Obama.

It was the first time I ever heard an African do that real chant, you know, that high pitch

"Yi-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-diiiiiiiii!!!!!!"

(I was standing in the kitchen washing dishes when she did that. I was watching the stream over the internet, and had to turn around and look at the laptop! What the world!!)

Let me tell you how thankful she was: she spent a whole hour giving honor to the pastor, his family, his best friend, his kids, assistant ministers, deacons, church mothers, etc...

But what really shocked the cheese out of me and my sister and LadyTee (who actually was at the service) was that she presented each of the members who were members that first year of the church and were still there now (some 60 members), with a $1000 dollars a piece.

She just wanted to show some honor.

(This was revelation to the Oldgirl. I have a post coming up on "HONOR" soon).

Wow. What a treat to come to church and walk off with some cash in your pocket. LAWD.

Interesting sermon. Me and my sister Kentucky talked about it. Pastor Sarah said she wanted to pretend that the pastor wasn't there and just talk among "us" and talk of how we all go through problems, but we will come out of it.

Interesting indeed.

But I'm not going to talk about that.

We had a women's fellowship meeting the next night, which was my birthday.

And Pastor Sarah was preaching for that meeting.

So, as a birthday gift for myself (along with taking a MONTH off from work, lol), I decided it would be nice to throw on my sweats and sneakers and roll up in this meeting.

Interestingly, the topic of her sermon was

When I am at My Best: A Woman's Purpose

(You see what I'm talking about? Whatever I'm praying by at the time, somebody gonna be talking about it. I'm down with that, man.)

Passage of interest. Genesis 2: 15-22

A woman is not an afterthought, or came into existance through default. She was a breakthrough idea in God's mind.

You are the best of God's thought to solve any problem.

This means you are not a trouble maker, but you solve troubles.

A man was made from dirt, a woman was taken from bone, i.e., refined dirt.

A woman is taken from bone, this means she is strong.

However, we as women are taken from man for man. You are there to bring out the best in man, to help him fulfill his mandate and vision, to make him the king he is suppose to be, to bring out the greatness in him. And you are there to bring out the best in your children.

This is why there is trouble in your house when you are not supporting your man, but you are trying to take charge over your man and you are trying to take over and be the head.

When is a woman at her best?

1. When she is a helper. What we try to do is take over. It don't work. You're there to help him fulfill a vision. You are a key to his success. You have what's in you to satisfy his every need. You aid. You make sure you are on top of his game. You do not drain. You do not cause or bring stress. You are annointed to solve problems. You remove burdens and destroy yokes. You are useful and profitable.

2. When she has others on her mind. You're at your best when you are not preoccupied with yourself. Your man and your children should be on your mind. His worries should be on your mind. You are created by design to take care of issues.

Our problem is that we are not content with our portion. The "How about me" attitude is the beginning of trouble.

When you are carried away about others, God will be carried away about you. God has your back, when you are like this.

It is NOT all about YOU. When it is, you are cantankerous and others don't want to deal with you. Work on your selfishness and ridding yourself of it.

You're at your best when you are giving others the advantage.

3. When she's under authority. Ephesians 5:22; 1Peter 3:1-6 You're at your your best when you are submissive. To your husband and to the Word of God.

4. When her affairs and household are in order. She referred to Proverbs 14:1. I looked at 20 different translations of this verse. And here are the ones that stuck out to me:

NIV Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

CEV Proverbs 14:1 A woman's family is held together by her wisdom, but it can be destroyed by her foolishness.

GWT Proverbs 14:1 The wisest of women builds up her home, but a stupid one tears it down with her own hands.

I think that verse says it all... Keep an orderly household. And I think this mostly refers to keeping it from being emotionally and mentally chaotic, in addition to ridding it of physical chaos.

That's it for notes. I actually have handwritten notes, but I actually bought this CD yesterday, and sat here and listened to it early this morning so I could type it up in more detail. There was a bit more to it, but that above is the general premise/detail of it.

I posted that up just for YOU.

But more for ME.

My pastor's wife, who runs a pretty good women's fellowship program, put together a pretty good affirmation from her own notes that night. And here they are.


I am at my best
Because I solve problems
I'm not a trouble maker

I am at my best
Because I bring out the best in others

I am at my best
Because I am a helper
Because I bring out the greatness in my spouse

I am at my best
Because I am a helper
I provide what is necessary

I am at my best
Because I serve and wait on others

I am at my best
Because I help others rise to the top.

I am at my best
Because I am useful
And I aid and comfort others
I am at my best

The world does NOT revolve around me.
It is NOT all about me.

It is about the kingdom
And giving others the advantage

I thank you Lord that
I am a woman who is on a mission
And I am at my best.

I dare you to print that paper on a piece of paper and stick it up on your bathroom mirror and ponder it while you brush your teeth or put on your makeup. Makes me feel better about my self-worth and value just reading it here.

Man, I thought this was all so strong...

Whether you are a single woman or a married one, I know you see so much of yourself in that.

I see so much of what I just posted here in so many of you.

And I see so much of what was said above in my own self.

To be continued...

Agitation - Personal Thoughts, Part II

Here I am with a rare Saturday post...

Actually I'm sitting here on the sofa, watchng Top Chef, and waiting for Jif.fy repair service to come finish the repairs on my dishwasher. Sigh.

I spent a couple of hours cleaning up, so the house is really really clean. What better time to finish up my personal thoughts concerning agitation?

Agitation is a terrible problem of mine. I think I've come a long way, as I've gotten older, to getting a lot better. So I was glad to hear a couple of messages concerning it. And I was forced to ponder it more with my postings here on my blog. Things are set up in such a way that when I need to go back and read things like that, I can find it quickly and easily. So that's a good thing.

I've been thinking much about exactly what irritates me...

What rents space in my mind, and needs some eviction?

There are 2 things that come to mind immediately.

1. People agitate me. Yeah, I know that's a broad statement. I guess I should explain further.

I have quite a few friends who have this incredible ability to deal with all personality types. I mean, they can look in the face of someone who has been dogging them behind their backs, and smiling in their face, and they let it roll off their backs like water.

I don't have that ability. If you use me, gossip about me, backbite me, threaten me, etc... I'm done with you. I especially detest folks who play psychological games. You would think that I've dropped off the face of the earth. I just don't do well with folks that mentally drain me, or with folks I have to really keep a watch on, and watch what I say or what I do.

LadyTee thinks this is understandable. She says this is because of the emotional abuse I've suffered under my mother all my life. "I've been sitting next to you since the age of 10, Lee, and I've watched you just take it. You've always sat quietly and calmly and taken it. So now, you don't play around with that type of thing."

She knows me better than myself.

So when mess goes down with people, I'm done. And the fear connected to that is that I just don't want to feel the way I felt as a child. Man, I just don't like being in bondage to people. I have a choice. And I choose to ignore you.

But I wish I could keep an even head like my some of my friends. And I just don't.

I know that sounds kind of strange. But it is something that has been bothering me over the past year or so. I've made strides in that area. One of my friends is like "Well, I talk to everyone, BUT, you know who and what you're dealing with." I'm learning to take that approach.

That's an area that I'm going to continue working on.

2. My job is a source of agitation. Man... if you read here for any length of time, you know that my job irritates the cheese out of me. MAN! And let's just say, I'm the happy employee at work, so you know I'm around disgruntled individuals, to the point that I've been afraid for my safety at times. You would think management would be a bit more competent and not pick the unstable employees to mess with. Geez.

I've really had to sit down and pray about it all, and really get some answers and directions. The job in itself isn't bad, it's just that people thing. (Go back to #1).

You may holler "Get another job, Lee!"

Uh, no. Because that is not the problem. My thoughts and prayers are a bit half-hearted at best concerning such. And when I'm not praying whole-heartedly about something, well... I might as well be picking fuzzballs out my carpet...

You know what it turns out to be? I've been doing chemistry for the last 23 years. I can't say that I am bored with it, but I've done all I've wanted to do in this chosen profession. I've hit all my accomplishment goals. I have a Masters. I have a doctorate. I've done research in the areas of organometallics, organoelectrical chemistry, drug design, synthesis, analytical, phytochemistry, food chemistry... I've even done interdisplinary work in microbiology and entomology. I've published numerous scientific papers, given talks all over the place. I've done some teaching. I make about 20% above of what I wanted to be making as a salary as a chemist.

When I look back over my 23 years in this area, I am at awe, and I am proud of myself... I am so thankful for my triumphs in the field, all I've learned, all I've been able to teach, and all I've accomplished. I'm so very proud of who I am as chemist, and proud of what I've done.

So therein lies the problem. I'm a little more interested in other things now. I don't feel a need to do all the brownnosing at work to get ahead, or playing all of these other games. My self worth is not dependant on getting ahead. Oh lawd, I DO NOT want to be in management. I don't see myself purposely hurting people (that seems to be their focus, for some bizarre reason. This is difficult to watch, and even more difficult when I'm the target.) Nope, I'm not the management type.

That is a revelation to me, and for some reason, it makes me breathe a sigh of relief. Hard to explain, but crystal clear to me. I'm a little freer now to concentrate on other areas of my life that need more development. And my goals will grow out of that.

Chemistry is my profession. It is how I make a living. However, Chemistry is not my life's purpose.

I am beginning to understand that I will find my joy and my peace in my purpose. Period. I think I've always known that. But now I understand that... and respect that .

Those are 2 areas that stand out in my mind, and are at the forefront: Working on my people skills, being able to deal evenly with people who are a trip, or who's personality clashes with my own "unique" personality. And setting goals that are more purpose driven or focused.

I'm looking to do and make moves to remove these areas of agitation, and regain the peace I so much desire.

Thanks for stopping by the House of LadyLee, and sitting a spell during spiritual week. I think it was a great way to start off my "next" thousand posts...

We will return to our regular scheduled programming on Monday :)

Agitation - Personal Thoughts

Agitation.

This mental state of extreme emotional disturbance.

That sounds pretty bad, don't it?

Yet, I haven't met yet one person in my life who hasn't had to deal with the area of agitaion, and it's relation to worry and anxiety, and its roots of fear.

I must admit, I'd been praying about this, some solution to my own areas of agitation. It's always been like a monkey on my back.

So I was glad when this subject came up. And my Pastor was talking of his battle, some 20 year battle, with it, and how he's found that one has to do the necessary work to understand agitation, and develop in this area of response to agitation, and to do what is necessary to have and maintain personal peace.

I did a little digging around looking for the aramaic, greek or hebrew root of the word agitation.

I didn't find anything immediate. That's why I'm glad I have an Amplified version of the bible, that stretches out a verse of scripture to include the hebrew and greek full translations.

But I did come across something that caught my eye: the relation of agitation to "shalom" or peace:

"A word study in the New King James version for SHALOM says: Completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord."

Hmmm... This peace. This "shalom". It is a most valuable asset. And I need to do what I need to do to develop in it, and hold on to it.

I find it funny that, if someone stole something material of mine, like my money, something like that, I do what I can to get my stuff back.

Yet, if the situations in my life have me agitated, and rob me of my peace, I become paralyzed. And worry and anxiety set in and have their way. Depression comes on in and has a seat. It may even bring some of its friends, anger, rebellion, deceit, hatred... and God forbid, Big Daddy might show up... i.e., suicide raises its ugly ugly head.

Negative emotions move in like squatters, taking over, taring up ish. Mental carnage and squallor are the results.

I have to do the necessary work, i.e., pick up my spiritual baseball bat and attack agitation... Open up a spiritual can of whoop azz on the situation. (Excuse my language. I just think I need to get violent with it).

I've had stellar examples of this in my life. My baby sister is good at doing what she needs to do to get her peace back. I know she don't mind me sharing this, as it is helpful. She had a bad breakup of a long term relationship a couple of years ago. She was angry, hurt, upset... basically agitated. She wallowed for minute.

She had to do more than come and talk to big sister LadyLee. (And we had our talks, man.)

She had to work on herself. This had affected her spirit. She had to do the necessary work to get her peace back.

I remember her getting some information on the area of work. She had find some type of tape series from church on it. (I tell you, we have extremely detailed info on any subject available if we look around for it). I think that was the quickest way for her to gather every piece of scripture quickly on the matter. She had a time of fasting and prayer.

I'm not sure of all she did. We didn't talk about it. I just remember sitting on the couch, crocheting or something, and she'd come share something with me from time to time. Heck, I didn't even know she was in a time of personal fasting. It was a private thing for her.

I was proud of her after the fact. To this day, she shares with me her understanding. Very proud of her for doing whatever she needed to do to combat her agitation and pain, instead of letting it marinate and take her even further into a dark hole.

A more immediate example is one from my baby blog sista Serenity, my "intannet BFF" (this is funny to me, as she thinks this of me). I really like her. It's been nothing but an honor to witness her arc of personal development over the years, and to share in that, as she is one of my most cherished confidants, and I am honored to be the same to her. So when she says or shares something that I can take and incorporate into my own life, I'm vigilant about being mindful and considerate of it.

Latetly, she'd been a bit disturbed that both houses on either side of her were vacant, after the occupants moved. Something like that, man, that will cause one's imagination to run wild in a negative way. She herself found herself getting over into fear. This fear over her safety of herself and her child... It was robbing her of her personal peace.

So she took action. She went up for prayer at church, got someone to pray with her over the situation. She gave me permission to share an excerpt from a post she wrote concerning it. I have highlighted parts that resonated with me. (From the post "Beating a Dead Horse" 11/17/10)

"When I was afraid the other day and really decided enough is enough, the prayer that the lady said with and for me at church kind of jolted me back to reality. Why am I sitting around afraid and playing the victim here? God gives me the power and authority to conquer anything that is troubling me.

When I picked Tyler up from his sleepover, I explained to him in the car that b/c our neighbors are gone, we have to be more cautious and remember to lock all doors and keep teh alarm on at home, but the first thing we are going to do is go into every single room in the house and pray. We are going to do this together.

I'm sure he wanted to protest. But as soon as we got in the house, we stopped in the foyer and I began to pray. Moreso, being thankful for the foyer, the living room, kitchen, dining room, etc. I talked to God about how all my life from even Tyler's age, I've always wanted and wished for a house. I talked about my struggles in fixing my credit and spending habits in order to be able to buy the house. I talked to him about why I wanted a house. I talked to him about all the times he has protected me from danger that I knew of and didn't know of. I must have spent the longest time thanking him for random things like the big window in my kitchen that I love and yet at night it makes me nervous b/c someone could be on the other side of it. For every fear I had regarding certain rooms or aspects of the house, I thought about how grateful I am for them.

It may seem trivial to you, but that night I got the best sleep. I haven't been afraid anymore. It also reminds me that we can chose to sit and wallow in fear or we can chose to be thankful for what we do have and pray about changes that we need."

To me, this was a stellar example of appropriate response to agitation, fear, anxiety and worry. And the church sermons on agitation, which were given a good week after this post, were my confirmation of my notes of what she did.

And further confirmation of the following scripture

Phillipians 4:6-7 Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks. Then God’s peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus.

Another version: Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

I think here, I see how God affords a peace that will guard my thoughts and emotions.

Because that is what it's all about, right? Keeping my thoughts, feelings and emotions from being infected with the wrong thing. Because as you can see from scripture I've posted in the past couple of posts: Our life, the issues of our life, flow from our hearts.

And I don't know about you, but I want God's peace to be a gatekeeper, a guard over my thoughts and emotions.

(And I can NOW understand why it's necessary to be honest about my areas of unbelief, and how critically important the simple 6 word prayer of "Lord, help me with my unbelief" becomes. Sooooo important.)

That's all for now. I will do a post on what agitates me, and the steps I'm taking to rid that from my life. (And wouldn't you know it, from applying what I've learned here, I'm getting much needed answers... and peace.)

And with that... I say have a Happy Friday, and a great weekend.

And I leave you with my song of the week, with extra special dedication to my homegirl Shai... I think this will mean something to her.

This is one I listen to that reminds me to always maintain a spirit of thanksgiving.



To be continued...

Notes on Agitation, Part II

Continued from Agitation, Part I

The issue now is : work, work, work on your Peace.

A good definition of peace: security in the midst of turmoil.

"You can't keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair."

We will always have issues. Our issues don't have to have us. Problems arise. But when they do, go to your manual, the Word, and see what is said about your issue. Grab hold of that. And make up in your mind to believe that.

Life is too short to rent space in your mind to people and situations that agitate you.

Your purpose in life is too important to be derailed by worry and agitation.

If you can't conquer what's going on in your mind, then you can't conquer what's agitating you.

Additional scriptures (concerning worry):

Matthew 6:25-33

25Therefore I tell you, stop being [v]perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life greater [in quality] than food, and the body [far above and more excellent] than clothing?
26Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?
27And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the [w]span of his life?(B)
28And why should you be anxious about clothes? Consider the lilies of the field and [x]learn thoroughly how they grow; they neither toil nor spin.
29Yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his [y]magnificence (excellence, dignity, and grace) was not arrayed like one of these. [I Kings 10:4-7.]
30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and green and tomorrow is tossed into the furnace, will He not much more surely clothe you, O you of little faith?
31Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear?
32For the Gentiles (heathen) wish for and crave and diligently seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows well that you need them all.
33But seek ([z]aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness ([aa]His way of doing and being right), and then all these things [ab]taken together will be given you besides.

Proverbs 12:25 Anxiety in a man's heart weighs it down, but an encouraging word makes it glad.

Phillipians 4:6-7 Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks. Then God’s peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus.

When you're worried or find yourself in a state of agitation, pray about it. Your antedote, as seen in the aforementioned scripture, is to be sure to operate in a state of thanksgiving. We all have a past, where God has answered prayers, seen us through, etc. Be diligent about remembering this and giving thanks continuously for this. This is your antedote to worry.

As a result, God's peace is given. That's what we are after.

This is a lot of information.

"Easier said than done, Pastor."

To which the pastor responds, "Whatever."

This is about getting developed in your peace.

Development in any area begins with starting SOMEWHERE. Development does not happen automatically. It takes conscious effort.

Make an effort to move towards perfection. Perfection is not about being flawless, but it is about being fully committed to continuous growth, evolvement, and change.

Know that when we develop in peace, we clear up the noise and static in our spirts, so that we can hear from God.

Okay, that's it for my notes. I think part II was a little more all over the place here, as I was trying to decipher my handwriting and bring it all together. But I think you get the picture.

I think what I got out of this overall is... I have to work on my thought life, and what's going on in my head, by renewing my mind to what the Word says, and allowing that to be my final authority on life issues, especially when it comes to fear, agitation and worry.

There's a LOT of info. Not just in the sermon, but there is so much that can be gleaned from the scriptures given. There is explicit instruction on what to do when the issues of life threaten to agitate you, have you emotionally disturbed: get involved with what the Word has to say, get in agreement with it, clear up your areas of unbelief, and basically rely on God. Period.

So, tomorrow, I will give my own personal thoughts (well more of it) on this, and how it applies to my life.