Rest in Peace to my Mother, Carolyn Releford

I briefly mentioned in a couple of posts over the past two weeks that my mother was on life support.

She was removed from life support last night, and passed away shortly there after.

I wasn't there, due to covid concerns. My sister Kay and brother Kari were there with her holding her hand as she passed. I asked if I could come down and just sit in the parking lot. They said no, too many folks around, and they wanted to keep me safe.

I did go down last Thursday night. I don't think I wrote about it, not sure. But our mother was the only patient in the hospice at the time, and we were the only family there. So I visited with her for about three hours (from 10 pm -1 am). We prayed over her and anointed her head with oil. It was good to see and touch my sister, as I haven't since mid-March. My mother has been unresponsive for two weeks (basically in a coma), so her ventilator was doing the breathing for her.

I do not really know how to feel right now. There have been a few tears over the past couple of weeks, but really, just a lot of thinking. I posted a memorium on Facebook that conveys my feelings as of late. I have reposted here, along with some photos.


Rest in Peace, Mother
Carolyn Releford, April 24, 1948 - August 18, 2020.

My mother Carolyn Releford passed away today at the age of 72 after a long illness. She never fully recovered from a bypass surgery she had in late 2018. She and I have always had a complex relationship, but we managed as best we could over the years. It hurt to see her in so much pain over this past year and a half, and though I am sad that she is gone, I am relieved that she is in pain no more. She'd been on life support for the past two weeks, and I found myself praying for her throughout the day. But as of late, what has been endearing was my noticing some of my little habits - making a to-do list every single morning, stacking dishes before I wash them, the way I iron my clothes, the way I sort my laundry, the way I wash my collards, or snap my beans- and pausing for a moment and saying softly to myself in the quiet of the day, "Ma taught me how to do this." I may shed a few tears, or just sit in quiet respect of those passing moments. I am learning to cherish such memories, and they have somehow afforded much peace and comfort.

Rest in peace, Ma. I pray you are with God and in the arms of your ancestors, those you have loved, lost, and missed for so long. Thank you for doing the best you could with me and my brother Kari Releford and my sister Kay Releford. I think we turned out pretty good.

Love, Alesia
But as you have always called me "Lee" and "Lisa".


I wrote that last night, about five hours after she passed. I did not know what I wanted to post, but I just thought about some of my thoughts over the last few weeks and wrote that.


I know I will miss her. No, we didn't get along well at times, but that never negates the good times.


I am just thankful she is not in pain anymore. It was terrible to watch her moan in pain... and not being able to do anything for her, but just try to make her comfortable.

Here are some pictures for you to enjoy. They brought back great memories for me and my siblings.

Ma, probably at some party she was attending.

Ma visiting with her grandsons, circa 2008, in Seattle Washington.

 Ma and Milk and Cookies, 2005? Milk and Cookies was part of a biking crew, and they were at a restaurant with his crew in Seattle.

Ma, and my Father, in 1967 or thereabouts.

 Ma and Justin a few days after he was born in August 2017. We were sitting in the Emory NIC unit taking turns holding him.

 Ma and my Auntie, her sister, in 2012, after the funeral of their cousin.

 Me and Ma, circa 1976, taking pictures at Auntie's house. She was serious, and as you can see, I was not.

 A picture at auntie's house. This is one of the few pictures with all of us. This had to be around 1993-1994.

 Ma and Milk and Cookies. He had a layover in Atlanta, and we all ran down to the airport to see him, if only for a half hour, before his flight home to Seattle.

Ma and her boyfriend Mack. They had been together for 7 years.

I enjoyed going through my phone and finding old pictures. They brought back so many memories.

Rest in peace, Ma. No more pain. That is all we can ask and hope for for you.

Rest in peace.

Ten Tuesday Thoughts

Ten Thoughts on a Tuesday.

1. Do you know what it is like to be robbed in the middle of a crowd of people in broad daylight without a gun?  I don't, and hopefully you don't either. But this whole post office fiasco feels like that. Maybe it's just me, but I can't believe the post office is being torpedoed right before our very eyes.

2. Do they know that they are messing up people's mail drug prescription services in the process? Thank goodness I can go to my local pharmacy and get my prescriptions refilled. My pharmacy even has an app. I don't know what I would do if I had to stand by the mailbox waiting for mail.

3. Looking at this, I have decided that if I need to mail something, I will go to my local UPS or Fed-Ex office. Folks have stories of their mail taking two weeks to get to its destination. I pay my bills online, but having to mail bills now... No Ma'am. No Sir.

4. I haven't had much of an appetite these past few days. If I do eat, it is late in the afternoon or evening, and I am trying to get away from that.

5.  I watched the first night of the DNC convention. It felt like a school assembly. It is so odd not to hear the cheers of the crowd.

6. Michelle Obama's speech, man... I was waiting for her to holler "BOOM" at the end. She didn't, so I hollered it for her."

7. I think the phrase "It is what it is" will be the official phrase for this election and COVID season.

8. So on Twitter today, the haters have ginned up the whole narrative again that Michelle Obama is a man. Sigh. And you wonder why black folk get tired of craziness. It is interesting when people try to attack your identity. It is a sign of something. I promise you, if you pull back the heavy velvet black curtain of their lives, you will find some mighty deep complex issues. I'm just saying.

Might take you a few days to understand that... but think on it. Look around you. You'll see what I am talking about.

9. I have been really getting into this podcast as of late: Therapy for Black Girls by Joy Harden Bradford, PhD.

The topics are interesting, and I must say it is really nice to listen to a psychologist speak on topics that are of interest to me and/or I am currently dealing with, especially in these trying times.

10. So our beloved president, Ben Carson, and the Pillow Guy are touting a new drug that they want us to try for the cure or help with the coronavirus. Sigh. Man, I am not going to even really take this serious. It is bad that you have to follow the trail to the money to figure out what's going on. But danggonit, I hope they don't try to line us up and force us to take some darn pills.  It all continues to feel very Jim Jones-Guyanaish to me.

That is all I have to say about that.

Look, we have too many resources at our fingertips. Please do your research. I will be doing mine. On purpose.

Nasty Women

Our beloved President is always calling women he don't like "Nasty".

What is up with that? I find it very odd and off-putting. In fact, when he gets started, I can't find the remote to my television fast enough.

But I saw this meme the other day, and it gave me pause.

You know, when they asked him about Giselle Maxwell (whatever her name is), I just KNEW he would call her a nasty woman. But no, he wished her well.

I saw that live, and I was dumbstruck. I immediately thought it was a way of him keeping her quiet. Hmm... maybe that is just a plot from some show I watched somewhere. Who knows. It was just disturbing.

Elizabeth Warren had a fitting response to the "nasty woman" tag.

Right on, Senator Warren...

Right on.

Ten Thursday Thoughts

Ten Thoughts! On a... Thursday. (Had to pause to figure what day it was. They are all running together right now.

1. I am not sure what day this is of the quarantine. Are we still under quarantine? Well, we are almost halfway through month #5. Oh joy. MONTH 5!

2. I find myself napping or simply falling asleep at night in my "easy chair" (that's what my grandma called her recliner). I would watch my Grandma do this and thought that I never thought I would would do such a thing. Lo and behold, I do this now. And it reminds me of her, and how much I miss her.

3. I am team leader on some project at work. It was originally mine, but there are a couple of guys working on it, since they are brave enough to go in. All I know, I am just not in the mood to deal with fragile, almost femalian (is that a word?) male egos. Not in the mood.

4. Best thing I did today? Turn in my timesheet so that I can paid. Thank you, Lord.

5. Kamala Harris is the vice-presidential pick. I am neither here nor there with her. I think she is a politician, and will do well enough. I am looking forward to her verbally smoking Pence, with his milquetoast self. They are going to attack her viciously. I know she can stand up to it. Us black women are strong like that.

6. This may be too much information, but I had a cycle last month. So what? Well, I thought I was in full menopause. No ma'am. It's been six months, then SURPRISE. And there was me being sad, and walking around wailing, "I thought this was suppose to be over now!" I was so devastated. That is the only word I can use to describe how I was feeling.

7. Lupus symptoms get worse around that special time of the month. This is a none thing. This time, my left hamstring was on fire. It was a little difficult to climb stares and walk. I mean, I could do it, but I was 25% slower, something like that. I think it was inflamed. Just never felt like that before. And it ain't like I can go the doctor during these covid times. Shoot, I only go if I absolutely have to, and have an appointment. But I must say, after all was said and done, it feels 95% better now. But I would hate to feel like that again. Ugh.

8. I wish I had someone to share these things with. I was thinking about joining a support group of some type, but I don't think I can deal with too many of us wailing, all at the same time. I am a part of a web group, though. It might be a good idea to keep up with it and be alert. I may find something helpful.

9. Our beloved president seems to be doing press briefings every evening. It catches me off guard, having me saying "Wait, wasn't I just watching the news?!?!? Where the hell he come from! Oh hell no!!" He acts like he doesn't even want to be there, and he starts rambling. It is such a waste of my brain cells to watch and figure out what the world he is talking about. When I can tell you that I can't find my tv remote fast enough to turn the station... Ugh!

10. I have about an inch of hair growth which is so weird to me. But I refuse to get it cut. It's not like I'm doing nothing, not even going to work. And I wear a scarf when I leave the house. So what's the point?

that's it for my 10 thoughts! Enjoy your day!

Go Kamala!!!!

Joe Biden has made his vice-president pick!

Kamala Harris!

Go Kamala!

No, she wasn't my pick. She may have been #4 on my list. My pick was Florida Congressman Val Demings. That would have locked up Florida for Biden. He already has California, so I don't know the game plan when it comes to picking Harris.

I am SURE they have one.

This isn't the most ruthless ticket, so I hope it works out for them. All I know, they need to stop playing nice. That's not going to work.

But anyway, we finally have a VP pick. Glad it's a sister! That's all I gotta say about that!