Rest in Peace to my Mother, Carolyn Releford

I briefly mentioned in a couple of posts over the past two weeks that my mother was on life support.

She was removed from life support last night, and passed away shortly there after.

I wasn't there, due to covid concerns. My sister Kay and brother Kari were there with her holding her hand as she passed. I asked if I could come down and just sit in the parking lot. They said no, too many folks around, and they wanted to keep me safe.

I did go down last Thursday night. I don't think I wrote about it, not sure. But our mother was the only patient in the hospice at the time, and we were the only family there. So I visited with her for about three hours (from 10 pm -1 am). We prayed over her and anointed her head with oil. It was good to see and touch my sister, as I haven't since mid-March. My mother has been unresponsive for two weeks (basically in a coma), so her ventilator was doing the breathing for her.

I do not really know how to feel right now. There have been a few tears over the past couple of weeks, but really, just a lot of thinking. I posted a memorium on Facebook that conveys my feelings as of late. I have reposted here, along with some photos.


Rest in Peace, Mother
Carolyn Releford, April 24, 1948 - August 18, 2020.

My mother Carolyn Releford passed away today at the age of 72 after a long illness. She never fully recovered from a bypass surgery she had in late 2018. She and I have always had a complex relationship, but we managed as best we could over the years. It hurt to see her in so much pain over this past year and a half, and though I am sad that she is gone, I am relieved that she is in pain no more. She'd been on life support for the past two weeks, and I found myself praying for her throughout the day. But as of late, what has been endearing was my noticing some of my little habits - making a to-do list every single morning, stacking dishes before I wash them, the way I iron my clothes, the way I sort my laundry, the way I wash my collards, or snap my beans- and pausing for a moment and saying softly to myself in the quiet of the day, "Ma taught me how to do this." I may shed a few tears, or just sit in quiet respect of those passing moments. I am learning to cherish such memories, and they have somehow afforded much peace and comfort.

Rest in peace, Ma. I pray you are with God and in the arms of your ancestors, those you have loved, lost, and missed for so long. Thank you for doing the best you could with me and my brother Kari Releford and my sister Kay Releford. I think we turned out pretty good.

Love, Alesia
But as you have always called me "Lee" and "Lisa".


I wrote that last night, about five hours after she passed. I did not know what I wanted to post, but I just thought about some of my thoughts over the last few weeks and wrote that.


I know I will miss her. No, we didn't get along well at times, but that never negates the good times.


I am just thankful she is not in pain anymore. It was terrible to watch her moan in pain... and not being able to do anything for her, but just try to make her comfortable.

Here are some pictures for you to enjoy. They brought back great memories for me and my siblings.

Ma, probably at some party she was attending.

Ma visiting with her grandsons, circa 2008, in Seattle Washington.

 Ma and Milk and Cookies, 2005? Milk and Cookies was part of a biking crew, and they were at a restaurant with his crew in Seattle.

Ma, and my Father, in 1967 or thereabouts.

 Ma and Justin a few days after he was born in August 2017. We were sitting in the Emory NIC unit taking turns holding him.

 Ma and my Auntie, her sister, in 2012, after the funeral of their cousin.

 Me and Ma, circa 1976, taking pictures at Auntie's house. She was serious, and as you can see, I was not.

 A picture at auntie's house. This is one of the few pictures with all of us. This had to be around 1993-1994.

 Ma and Milk and Cookies. He had a layover in Atlanta, and we all ran down to the airport to see him, if only for a half hour, before his flight home to Seattle.

Ma and her boyfriend Mack. They had been together for 7 years.

I enjoyed going through my phone and finding old pictures. They brought back so many memories.

Rest in peace, Ma. No more pain. That is all we can ask and hope for for you.

Rest in peace.