Wednesday, January 25, 2006

True Friendship

“Friends… how many of us have them.”
“Friends… ones we can depend on.”

The song “Friends” by Whodini was one of my favorite songs back in the early ‘80’s. (Gee, don’t you wish there were more rap songs like that one?)

I use to love that song when I was in high school. In high school, I had too many friends to count. I was always yacking on the phone at night and on the weekends with all of those friends. I walked the entire neighborhood on hot summer days with those friends. I hit the skating rinks, the mall, and the amusement park with those friends.

Everything way back then, in the ‘80’s, was about me and my friends.

When I was in high school, my favorite teacher would set aside a few minutes each week to talk to us about the things of life. We were his “smart” class, his physics class of ten students. I guess he thought we had a little potential, and the class was small so he could get away with presenting his opinions to us. I think we were just glad to get a moment to sit back and chill until the lunch bell rang.

Well anyway, one day he said something that really perplexed us all… As a matter of fact we laughed quite hard at him.

He said, “At any point during your lifetime, if you have 5 true friends, consider yourself very rich.”

We HOWLED when he said that. He just stood there stoned face and looked at us.

“Are you kidding?” one student asked. “I got a whole lot of friends!”

We all chimed in in agreement.

You see, back then we ALL had a TON of friends.

He said, “No, I mean true friends.” He went on to explain himself, but we blew him off. We thought he had gone stone cold mad that day…

But some 20 years later I understand what he meant. I think I began to even understand him 10 years later when I was only in my mid-twenties.

I don’t have many friends. Oh yeah, I have a ton of associates, or people I am loosely acquainted with, but I don’t consider them real friends. Heck, some folks, I wouldn’t trust them with the lint on my shirt.

And then, right now, I have a few friends who were long time friends, but I make a conscience effort to stay away from these days… Or we have the hardest time hooking up…

Over the years, I have observed the following about my true friends…

My true friends can take one look at me, or just hear something in my voice, and can immediately tell if something’s bothering me.

My true friends will listen, allow me to cry, and allow me to talk about whatever is bothering me, no matter how silly it may sound. They are never, ever judgemental. Afterwards, they always speak encouraging words, words of life to me, allowing me to get back on my feet, giving me courage to go and take care of the situation.

My true friends share in all my personal victories and accomplishments. They are never jealous, treating my accomplishments as if they were their own.

My true friends know me better than I know myself.

Now that’s true friendship.

I hope they can say the same about me. I hope I give to them just as much as they have given to me.

And you know what? I finally understand, after all these years, what my physics teacher meant about true friendship.

I wish I could find him and thank him for taking a few moments to impart some knowledge to the class that day…

Really, though...


  1. Hey this extends to the blog world too right :) good post

  2. @K88..

    You know it does, Sneaker King!!

  3. He knew what he was talking about, that's for sure.

  4. He knew what he was talking about, that's for sure.

  5. awww...u made me sniffle...with a smile...cause this is how I was feeling on the phone with you last night....u hit it right on the nose!!!!

    good one girl...I'm so glad I read it before practice tonight...Ima be smiling all the way there...

  6. okay i can TOTALLY relate to this post. it seems every year my circle of true friends gets smaller. i found myself reevaluating the people in my life and cleaning house these days more often than i'd like. my circle of real friends has gotten very small because of this. but that's okay because i'd rather have quality over quantity any day. still, i do long for more true friends. i recently wrote about Whole Package friends. i'd like some more of those too. the other day i was just thinking back on the tons of friends i had in highschool too. ain't life grand when ignorance is bliss! lol...

  7. @bball Mama... He sure did :)

    @dj...Ha,ha DJ... Girl, we yacked for 2 doggone hours last night...I was SOOOO glad to get some time to talk with you, your Highness!!! You really enlightened me to some things... Thanks, girl!!

    @incognito... Yeah, I peeped your post, and loved it... It made me want to post mine!! I knew you'd be able to relate... (Shoot, homie, and you needs to post more often!!:) I'm loving your words!!!

  8. My mother will always be and has always been my bestfriend and I know that's true. My best friend overseas is someone that breezed into my life accidentally but she's turned into a blessing because we've helped each other get through a lot. I always knew my mom and I were best friends but it wasn't until I met my friend overseas that I knew what true friendship was outside of family. Before her I was a friend to a girl I " thought " was my bestfriend but that blew up in my face. She wasn't much of a friend at all and she ended up breaking my heart.

  9. can you believe after 35 years of ne, I'm still lacing that good friend?


    I know what and who a true friend should be...

    I just don't have one.

  10. The only true friend I have is my mother...Beautiful post!

  11. Great post! Those true friends are hard to come by. I'd have to say that best friends are my sisters and I'm so thankful to have them. We share alot of things and know each other very well. I don't know what I'd do without my favorite girls!

  12. Lady, this is a great post. If you cruise through my blog, my best friend Angie shows up in posts and pics all over. She is irreplaceable, and if she is the only true friend I ever have, I will still never be able to express my gratitude to God for sending her to me. She is a gift, and if she needed it, I would scoop my kidney out using a spoon and no anesthesia...okay maybe a couple Tylenol 3 ;-). The best part is that I know without question that she would do the same for me. In many ways, she is more family than family if you know what I mean. But your post hit home with me no doubt...

  13. @Stacy-D & Chubby Choc... your mothers being your best friends... Now THAT's what I'm talking about!!!

    @Hassan... come on now, brotha, I know you got one true friend out there, don't cha?

    @ Nic... I totally agree with you... My best friend LadyTee (who I blog about sometimes) is like a sis to me!

    @ Sharon...

    "She is irreplaceable, and if she is the only true friend I ever have, I will still never be able to express my gratitude to God for sending her to me."

    That's how I feel about my homegirl LadyTee... God really thought about me when we became best friends at the age of 10!!!

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  15. Your teacher was so right. My mother used to tell me all the time, "Everybody who smiles in your isn't your friend." One line sums it up for me: "I'm friendly with many, yet friends with few." I can count on one hand how many true blue friends I have.

    After years of struggling and fighting, I've come to realize my mom is my friend. She'll tell me the absolute truth - no chaser, whether I want to hear it or not.

  16. True friendship is hard to come by these days. Lucky are those who have it. Good post and nice blog.


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