Thursday, April 06, 2006

A day with Grandma.

I spent last Saturday with my sweet little 76 year old Grandma…

I call her “Mama” instead of Grandma… Due to being the only grandchild for ten years, and that is what my mother, aunt, and uncles were calling her, and no one ever corrected me.

Now it’s hard for me to catch up with Grandma… I have to make an appointment with her. She's always busy.

First of all I have to gear her up for a day together…

“Mama, I’m gonna call you so we can see when we going to the movies!”

“Okay, Sugar.”

Then I just keep calling her all week.

So we finally hooked up this Saturday, after she finished up her Avon orders, etc.

She didn’t even wait for me to knock on the front door. She stuck her head out the door and asked if I was coming in. I said no. She ran and got a coat, just in case it was cold in the theatre.

She walked outside in her favorite lavender sweatsuit and a pair of brand new sneakers.

Grandma was comfortable and ready!!

I walked around the yard and admired her beautiful flowers. I asked her a few questions about them, since I want to plant a few in my front yard. Her answers were LONG and complicated.

Shoot, squash that. Why don’t I just have her help me next year with my flowers.

I took her to see Madea’s Family Reunion.

Now, you gotta understand something about my grandma. The last movie she saw at the theatre was Antoine Fisher, and I took her to see that…

The last movie she saw before that was The Ten Commandments


Yeah you heard me right… The Ten Commandments. Yeah, with Charlton Heston and Yul Brynner. Back in 1956…

She was telling me how she had to sit in the Colored peoples section up in the balcony at the Fox Theatre.


Let’s just say she gets overly excited when she realizes that we can sit wherever we want to sit…

And she loves the idea of cupholders on the seats. She thinks that is an ingenious idea!

Grandma has a small, barely audible voice.

But doggonit, she sure does know how to talk through the whole movie!! She is five feet tall. I am 5’7”. So I have to lean down to hear her.

She kept gently shaking my arm, and leaning over, placing her hand to her mouth, asking questions and making comments. I got a crook in my neck due to all the hard leaning in her direction…

“Sugar, that sure is a mean man!”

“Now who is that, is that the mama?”

“Oooooh, Sugar, he hit her… He hit her!”

“I think he wants to make love to her, Sugar.”

“What’s that lady’s name? Yeah, Cecily Tyson.”

“He sure is a handsome man.”
"Who is the other lady? That's the poet, ain't it.?"

They’re gonna make love, Sugar.”

“I bet she want to make love with him.”

“Sugar what is he asking her?”

“Are they gonna make love?”

Damn, what was up with all of those doggone making love questions??

*Ladylee cringing each time Grandma asked her about the making of love!*

I took Grandma out to eat after the movie. Nothing fancy, just Red Lobster. My brother happens to work at the Camp Creek location, so we went there.

Grandma and I talked for awhile… Then she whispered her favorite phrase…

Look a there, Look a there!

Look who’s here!

It was my smiling brother. He is no longer a busboy. He is now a host!

I was smiling too… I was gonna try to work a hook up!!

I have to fight grandma to get her to order what she wants.

"You ever had lobster, grandma? Get a lobster."
She shook her head no. “That’s too expensive,” she whispered.

Grandma ended up getting fried flounder, shrimp and clams. I got the lobster and crabs.

My brother kept walking by checking on us…

I gave him that hard look that use to scare him straight when he was a little boy…

“Psst...Come here, boy," I beckoned. "Go get me some shrimp.”

“Na’ll Lee, I can get you some nice hot biscuits.”

“Man, go head on with all that. Hook a sista up. Bring me a couple more snow crabs," I whispered.
"And grab another lobster tail while you at it.”

“Lisa, I can get you some more of them good ol’ cheddar cheese biscuits.”

“Aw hell man, get on somewhere... and bring us some more cocktail sauce and tea!!”

Grandma and I went to Barnes and Nobles after that. I took her to the religious section. Grandma has a degree in Bible Psychology, and has over 3000 spiritual and religious books at home. So she was EXTREMLY excited about picking out a new book.

Then a chocolatety tall brother showed up out of nowhere and commenced to grilling me about my church. I’ve been a member for 5 years and he just started going… I felt like I was on trial or something.

Grandma was over to the side, concentrating hard, smiling and stacking books.

Shoot. I was mentally drained after talking to that brotha. And grandma didn't even try to rescue me... She just kept stacking books!!

Grandma had about 8 books, which caused me to gasp. But she ended up getting three. I bought those for her. She was all smiles…

So it was a great day… I took her home, and made sure she got in the house okay...

But you know I am longwinded… And I can’t end it there…

I did my favorite Auntie story last post…So..

My favorite grandma story.

Back in 1995, when I was in my mid-twenties, I lived in Grant Park, a nice little intown community near the Atlanta Zoo. I was in grad school then, and was able to walk to school everyday, and my old Nova pretty much basically sat in the front yard. So it was hard to tell if I was home or not.

But Grandma lived in Hunter Hills, which is about 5 miles away.

So she liked to drop by ever so often while doing her Avon deliveries. I was usually in school and would miss her. But this old man name Mr. Bobby who lived in the duplex next to my duplex would give me the rundown of who came by everyday.

He was nosy like that. That old dude would wake up at five in the morning, get dressed and sit in an old wooden chair on the front porch, way before the crack of dawn.

And he would sit in that rickety chair until well after dark, sometimes until nine or ten at night.

Shoot, since he was around, and it was summer, I rarely locked my doors or closed my windows. He was like a security guard or something.

“Ladylee, some gal came knocking on your door at 8:52 a.m. this morning.”

“Ladylee, the landlord asked about you, around noon today.”

Now, I was running two men at this time: my short muscular main man, and my tall chocolatety bald headed goatee sportin' man on the side.

Mr. Bobby seem to have a full understanding that he didn’t need to be messing up my action…

“Ladylee, some tall bald-headed fella came looking for you, oh, I say around 2:15 p.m. I told him you was gone to school.”

“Ladylee, some short muscular boy was knocking on your door. He said he would be back.”

Yeah, Mr. Bobby had my back when it came to not ratting me out. And that was cool.

Well, I’d had company one hot summer night…

Let’s just make a long story short. I decided to skip school that next morning.

I would rather stay wrapped around this particular guy than go fool with school. Shoot, I didn’t even call my advisor with a lie as to why I wasn’t coming in for my normal ten hour stretch of research…

I was just going to stay in bed with the tall chocolatety goateed brother.

I heard a tap on the door. I decided to ignore it. I had the latch on the screen door. They could just keep on knocking.

And that’s what happened. I wasn’t going to answer the door. Then my eyes got big. I thought it may have been the other man!

I left the dude in the bed, got up and put on a pair of sweats. I tip-toed through my duplex and went to the front window. I had the blinds positioned just right so that I could see out of them without disturbing them…

It was Grandma!!!!

My heart jumped…

She was standing there, clutching her purse tightly...

Dang… If grandma knew her sweet innocent baby girl Lee had a man up in here…

Damn, damn, damn!!!

Alright, I thought. I just won’t answer the door… All of the windows were open. I thought I would just stay quiet until she left.

I slowly backed away from the window.

Then I heard Mr. Bobby yell…

“Keep knocking! She ain’t came out that house at all this morning. Keep knocking! She in there. She sho is! Keep knocking.”

“OH SHIT!” I said a little too loud.

“Go on around the side and knock on that side window. She in there!”

“Oh, alright then,” was all I heard grandma say.

Imagine how I felt, my sweet little grandma walking around my duplex, knocking on windows. I felt so, so bad.

I ran to the back and woke up the tall chocolatety brotha. “Old Boy, my grandma is here. Don’t you say nothing. Just stay back here in the bed, alright.”

He nodded okay.

I shut the bedroom door tight. I let grandma in the house.

“You okay Sugar?”

“Yeah, Mama, come on in.”

She came in and chilled for a minute. She sat there on my white couch, smiling and clutching her purse, legs crossed comfortably at the ankles. Said she was just in the neighborhood, and wanted to see me. She couldn’t stay long.

She stayed for about fifteen minutes. She usually stays for a couple of hours.

I wondered if she noticed how nervous I was.

I was glad to see her leave.

I talked to my Auntie later that day.

“Auntie, you need to talk to yo Mama!!”

“About what?” Auntie asked.

“She can’t be just showing up like she do. I had some company. You need to talk to her!”

Auntie hesitated for a moment. “Oh, oh, okay, yeah, I’ll talk to her. I’ll tell her to call before she comes over.”

“Yeah, do that!”

Look. I don’t know WHAT Auntie said to Grandma that day. (Auntie is a bit gangsta). But every since then, Grandma will not come over unexpectantly, even if she’s in the neighborhood. It was close to a couple of months before she even came to see my new house!

Auntie must have said something to SCARE my poor grandma.

Humph. We’ll never know.

I wanted to go off on Mr. Bobby. But you gotta have respect for old people. I'd just have to be more careful.

Right now, I am content with just going and picking her up for the day, taking her grocery shopping, to a movie, or out to eat. And she just LOVES these big fancy bookstores! She really pointed out some good spiritual books that I may have to swing back through and get.

I hope to see her again soon…

And somehow, I hope to convince her that it is okay to drop by my house whenever she wants!!


  1. Now that is the essence of life right, I miss my granny immensly and owe her for teaching me life lessons....nice post my dear

  2. @Sneaker King...

    Dang boo... you read that before I even made corrections!

    Yeah, Grandmas are the bomb!!

    Really though.

  3. I love it.

    I think they're going to make love!

  4. Awe...That reminds me of me and my granny, Maggie. I would take her to run her errands and just spend time with her. She lives with my parents now, so I get a two for one deal when I visit. I miss my dad's mother, who we called, Ma or Mama, too. And for the same reason you do. Everybody else called her that; my aunt and uncles, and no one corrected us, so we just continued to call her that. It was a trip having her and my mother in the same room. Both of them would look when my brothers and I said, Ma. LOL..that was too funny..She died when I was in High School.

  5. @That Original OG Chele...

    All those "making love" comments had me raising my eyebrows... But my aunt always says "Take her to see soemthing with a little sex in it. She'll like that!", to which I shriek and gasp in utter horror!!


    You know, it's those simple things, like running errands, or just yacking on the phone, that, as I get older, I am learning to appreciate about my grandma... Now, if I can just get her to come on back over to my house on a regular basis, especially since she lives less than 5 miles away... I would just love that!!!

  6. That was hilarious... I can just see Mr. Bobby in my head and him telling your grandma to keep knocking. Grandma would have had to stay out there on that day. :)

  7. I love your g'ma...she sounds sooo sweet....It's a blessing to have her!

  8. I'm loving your grandma too...

  9. @S23... Oh no!! I couldn't leave Grandma out there knocking... walking all around the house knocking on windows... I would've felt bad if she would have fallen or something...

    But you are no good, Celie... YOU would have left her out there!! (Shame on you!)

    @DJ and Hassan...

    Yeah, she's a sweetie, and I'm loving her too!!! :)


    girl, that post was awesome! i love your grandma! it made me think about my own granny. i've never had moments like that with her because she lives in new york. i wish she would move down here, but she won't.

    although i'm glad she doesn't live so close, cuz i know she'd be all up in my biz everyday. she'd be cock-blocking my ass left and right.

    lol@grandma story. i wonder if she knew brotha was there and that's why she cut the visit short. i mean, maybe she smelled the sex in the air.

  11. @Atlien Nikki...

    Leave it up to you to come up with an explanation of why grandma left so fast!

    I had every doggone window in the house open since I didn't have central heating and air... Let's just say I kept my place aired out...

    But you never know girl... It's some 10 years later and she STILL doesn't show up at my crib unannounced... I may ask her why one day... I am going to faint if she says "there was just something in the air that day way back in the mid 90's when I came by your house" LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL;)

  12. I think you've stolen my Grandma! Reading this post was like reading an excerpt from one of my old journals. Me and my Grandma roll the same way y'all do, but luckily, Grandma never learned to drive so no drop ins for me!

    My Grandma worked her entire life as a domestic so over the years, I have had many opportunities to make her proud with my professional and financial success [relatively speaking of course]. One of the best moments was the first time I bought a house. It had an in-ground pool and was on a good-sized lot. When my Grandma saw it, her response was "Oh boy, look at my grandbaby! This house is better than some of them houses I used to clean. We done come a long way!" It was one of the most awesome days of my life because through me, her favorite grandchild, my Grandma felt she had ARRIVED! I knew I had made her proud and that gave me more joy than the house itself ever did. As a matter of fact, I'm in my third house since that one, but at this moment, I have tears in my eyes as I remember my Grandmother's excitement at what her grandbaby had been able to accomplish.

    Grandmas ROCK! And great granddaughters like you ROCK TOO!

    And Serenity, shame on you for even suggesting that Grandma not get in...repent gurl, REPENT!

  13. @ that OG Sharon...

    HAAA!! You know, my grandma too worked as a domestic at one time, and she was so proud of my new home purchase... I like hearing her say... "Ooooooh, Look a here, look a here!!"

    Yeah, that fiery headed chicken name Serenity would have left grandma standing outside looking crazy... THE SHAME!! THE HORROR!!

  14. Great post! Thanks for sharing.

    My Grandma lives in the east and I'm out west, but she did get to spend a weekend with a couple of months ago. I posted it about it on my site. It was the best.


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