Food for Thought: A Fourth Year with Lucy Jr.

So...

It's Lucy Jr.'s FOURTH Birthday.

Happy Birthday LUCY JR.

Hooooooray Lucy Jr.!!

(It is so funny to look at old pictures of my house. It is different color now, lol).

I know you're probably like,  "LadyLee, you're really reaching here. A birthday for a car."

No I'm  not reaching. It's not the car, it's the idea of how the car came about that means much  to my heart.

The original Lucy, which I'd had only a year, was totaled.

Look at the damage.

That is minor, right? So I thought.

Not minor for a 13-year-old car. So the they would have to replace the whole shell of the car, and my insurance company was not down with that.

Never would I have thought that I would stand in the middle of a collision shop and CRY.

I felt so alone at that moment.

And after spending much  time thinking about it, I understood it wasn't about the car. It was about something so much more. I've written profusely about it, bared my soul about it. Much of it boiled down to - I don't have much. I don't have family, I don't' have the american dream (whatever that entails)...

BUT AT LEAST I HAD MY NICE AUTOMOBILE.

I was so deeply inwardly angry about that.  It was that type of anger that I would never discuss with anyone. Mostly because it was a false thought. I have much. I am abundantly supplied in every area of my life.

And it took much thought and prayer just to reconcile my feelings about it all. And at the moment that I understood that everything was going to be okay...

...Lucy Jr. fell out of the sky.

And that's what it felt like.

What really startled me is that I printed the new insurance card for Lucy Jr. I laid both the old and new card down on my desk, and I wanted to make sure I didn't throw the wrong one out. I noticed the VIN numbers were similar. With a little research, I found out that Lucy Jr. had come off of the assembly line right behind the Original Lucy.

That meant SO much to me. So much.

It was as if God was saying that He wanted me to UNDERSTAND beyond a shadow of a doubt that HE made it happen.

I say that because it had 20,000 fewer miles on it. It was $700 cheaper.  It was a much better car, down to the little cosmetic things gone that I didn't care for on Lucy Jr.... and so much more.

One powerful lesson I learned from this: I need to stop doing things within my own power and wait on God to take care of it. Do NOT jump the gun. I see that in so many people around me, including myself. We want something SO bad that we don't wait until the right time  or wait for God's time.  And as a result, things may go wrong... and our hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it?

So this car is  a symbol of much to me.

Much more than I could write or describe in this post.

So yes...

Happy 4th birthday, Lucy Jr.

You have served me well: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

And you have taught me some of the more important lessons of my life.

Something New!

I FINALLY bought a set of new tires for Lucy Junior.

Finally!

I have been pondering this for the past 2 or three months.

I have been teetering on the edge of angst concerning this tire purchase? Why?

Because the tires are for Lucy Jr.

And I am use to Pam.

And Pam only gets tires when Pam has a flat or a nail in the tire.

Pam has always had 4 different tires. I don't care if the tires match or not. As long as the car is rolling, I'm good. Now, last year, I actually purchased two brand new front tires for Pam, because the old ones looked like they were cracking or dry rotting or something strange. So I dropped $125 for 2 new tires.
But Lucy Jr... She's special. She needs a special Michelin tire.

I remember when I bought Lucy Jr. back in 2013. The owner, Lady M, said, "I like to buy Michelins for the lexus.They ride the nicest."

I looked down at the car and then back up at her. Ain't no way I'd sell a car with some Michelins on it. I would've had those taken off and had some $10 tires put on. Sure would have.

So at my last oil change, my Lexus specialist said it was time for some new tires. I grimaced. I knew I couldn't put any bootleg tires on Lucy Jr.

I wrote down the name of the tire and started looking around on the internet for them. I called a few places and they didn't carry that tire.

I, LadyLee, don't do well with inconvenience.

Then the car's steering wheel started shaking when I was driving. It wasn't bad, but noticeable. It would start shaking at 60 mph. A little research kept leading to one thing: the need for new tires.

Lucy Jr. needs Michelins. Michelins are expensive.


It got to the point where I would look at the tires of other Lexus' like mine. Some had the michelins, others had another type. I looked the other type up online, and people were arguing that the Michelin tire was better than that bootleg one.

I talked to my Lexus Mechanic, Chuck.

"Yo, this car has Michelin Primacys. Is there something comparable to those?"

I wanted to say... Is there a cheaper tire available?

He said "Well, that's the best one to get."

I like Chuck. He wouldn't tell me anything crazy. And some of the guys there at the shop drive the same car. So I called the place he'd been telling me to call. I'd gotten a quote from the same place in Forsyth County (and uh, I as a black person, don't have NO BUSINESS up in Forsythe County. Nope!) But there was a location nearer to me (20 miles away). I went there this past Saturday, super early in the morning, and I had a new set of tires and an alignment in a little over an hour.

All this bellyaching and near angst for nothing.

I got a new set for $600 bucks. The alignment rounded it out at $700. I would've preferred to pay around $400 for tires, but this ain't Pam. This here is Lucy Jr.

And the drive? Man oh man... the drive is SUPER smooth. Absolutely no shake at all.

If I would've know a new set of tires would've been that nice, I would've bought some sooner!

Hopefully these last a few years.
 
It almost makes me want to put a new set of Michelins on Pam!

NOT! 

Before and After... Exhale

BEFORE:

AFTER:

GLORY.

Getting my car back was like me just sitting there and exhaling.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" 

I got it back in 4 days. Almost makes me want to switch my insurance to Progressive, because they have good customer service. But I know they are high and I will be paying out the wazoo. Yes indeed.

They even fully detailed my car. Gave me some touch-up paint too!

My car smells like a field of sugar vanilla cookies. This is irritating, but who cares!

But I am glad my car wasn't totaled. And that could happen because that car is 15 years old. Somebody would have to pick this Oldgirl up off the floor because I woulda straight fainted.

But alas. That didn't happen. And that's a good thing.

Feels good to be back in my car again. Welcome back Lucy Junior!

Makes me wanna SANG!!

Semi-Food for Thought: DANG!!!!! (All Shook...)

DANG!

Sigh

DANG!!!

This describes it best:




Dang man. Just... dang.

First of all.

1. I am alright.

2. It was not my fault.

3. I am all shook!!!! *slams proverbial punch bowl to the floor*

I was in the grocery store parking lot, and a dude backed out into my car while I was waiting for a space to open.  And dude backed out somewhere behind me and didn't see me.  We didn't call the police (only because my phone was overheated at the time - started acting up that day for some reason). I already called his insurance company and they talked to us both. He told the truth and admitted that it was his fault. So they are paying for that bumper repair and I get with the adjuster on Tuesday morning.

But still...

PISSED ME OFF.

And you know with me, it's not really about the car.... it's symptomatic of something deeper, right?

I was thinking about the loss of the Original Lucy. And the dude that hit me had to hear my partial wailings about my last car being totaled. And how they better not total this one.

"That's not going to happen," he said.

"But it's an old car!" I hollered.

Yes the car is 15 years. That is old. So it don't take much to be a problem. This looks like a less than $2000 problem for me, so if they say something different, I will just get the heck on and get the dent banged out myself. Because I don't have time for no more insurance company tomfoolery.
 thing deeper. This is a car, so it's a tangible. I am more interested in the intangibles. Most stuff that I have that I am attached to has some symbolic meaning. And my cars fit in that category.

But something interesting happened with me. It's always something that happens when some tomfoolery happens in my life. And like I said, with me it's always some

It's as if my heart is this vast lake, a lake that appears serene and still on a sunny day.  (Not saying I am the most serene of people, but you get the picture). Then something happens to disturb the lake.

And all that stuff I don't like to think about - the things that bother me about myself and my life. i.e., those things that I have tied with ball and chains to the bottom of the lake...

... are shaken aloose and they float to the top. 

And that's what that caused within me. No, I don't like that. I thought I had dealt with some of those things. It also magnified some things I was dealing with now anyway.  So I was forced to examine some things and just pray.

It was that type of weekend.

Will I get into all that? Probably not. I have privately with fam and friends, even this weekend, and will continue to do so. And if you read this blog close enough, you know what bothers me and what things that I am having issues with. No need to drag it out. I pray about it and look at my thoughts and belief about it.

I can't stand when I am "shooken up" internally, as it forces me to deal with things. And what's interesting is that it forces me to deal with things that I thought I dealt with. Yet I haven't. So I have to do what I can to deal with it.

Alas, an aftermarket Camry bumper will be slapped on it. It will be painted gold and silver.

And I will go on. Despite being internally all shook.

I am thankful that all is well. There are people who left home on Saturday...

... and didn't return home because they were killed in a car accident.

And I can say, I didn't fall into that category.

Thank goodness for that.

A Tale of Two Lucys

I want to write a Lucys post.

But so much is going through my mind concerning "the Lucys", that I don't think I could do it justice.

But I think that I should write about it, as it was one of the most important things that happened during my 43rd year.

If you don't know what I am talking about, you haven't been reading much over my way. The Lucys are my lexuses.  I wrecked the first one, and it was totaled. Then I bought another one.

Sounds simple enough. But it wasn't.

The car wreck was point A. Buying the next car was point Z.

And there is a long way between Point A and Point Z.

And looking back at the whole ordeal, which feels a bit like a distant memory now, I understand how much of life has to do with what's going on in my mind, and how much mentality plays a role in things. The battlefield is the mind. Always. At least with me, anyway.

And the whole ordeal bothered me. I don't like to admit that, but it did.

I tend to be a very private person and I rarely tell anyone what's going on with me. I don't keep things bottled up though. I pray A LOT. And that takes care of the majority of things. I tell you there are some things where I don't tell nobody but God.

I seem to be the one that many folks talk to. But I just don't feel all that comfortable talking about what is bothering me. It's rare for folk to just listen, even if they don't understand. Trust me, my feelings have been blown off more times than I can count. I have learned from that in a positive manner, meaning I don't blow people's feelings off. But I really don't have anyone that I cry to without feeling all uncomfortable about it.

And with me, that was the core of the Lucys issue.

Now, back in February 2012, if I am remembering correctly, I bought a 13 year old lexus. Yes, that's old. But I don't like the newer cars, and I don't drive much. And I'd been wanting one since that particular generation came out in 1999, It has been my favorite car since then. So I bought one... for my birthday.

I really liked that car.

I had it for one year and then BAM... I was hit by a tow truck on my way home from work.

His studs on his wheel sliced through the side of my car, in the back by the tire.

And to make a long story short, my car was totaled by the insurance company.

Up until that point I was okay. I was just thankful that the accident wasn't bad, I was alright and not hurt, and that a big fight didn't break out at the scene. (I got charged with the wreck. But folks be tripping in the ATL, with the road rage and shooting over accidents.)  I was thankful there was no mess involved.

I was alright, but a thread of something was dwelling in the back closets of my mind.

And I always pay attention to what's going on in the back corridors of my heart... those things I don't really verbalize to anyone, not even to God.

(And He seems to be particulary interested in those areas, also.Very much so).

Here's my thing: most of you who know me or who have met me in person know that I am one of the most nonmaterialistic people that you will ever meet. I don't care about clothes, handbags, shoes or any of that.  I went through that phase in my 20s, and I am sorry, but these days, I don't get much joy out of those types of things. I don't even like shopping.

But I was upset about wrecking that car... which is a material thing. And I was upset with myself just for being upset.

My issue was, and I was quietly seething over this, was:

I don't have a husband. I don't have kids. I don't have a family. I don't have fame and fortune.

I just don't have a lot.

But at LEAST I had my nice automobile. And LEAST I had something nice.

At least I had that.

And now that was gone. And I was quietly upset.

My sister did well to talk to me. She is the one person who will just let me talk without judgment. I didn't really talk much to her about those feelings, but she has totaled some cars and she was trying to talk to me about it.

I remember having a few tearful moments when I was alone at home with my thoughts. And I remember waking up in the middle of the night one night and having a really horrible crying fit. Just a fit of rage and anger and tears. Personally, I just wanted to sleep through the night, which is a rarity.  Sleep was an escape from the issue at hand: the lost of my car.

I had my little fit. Yelled a little for the sake of yelling, I suppose. I yelled at Oscar-Tyrone for being in my way. I was just pissed and yelling.  And I eventually went back to sleep. And I slept well.

However, I thought about something that next day, or within the next couple of days. It was a light bulb moment of sorts...

Gee.. I didn't pray about buying that car that I'd wrecked.

No I didn't.  If I had to sit and wonder if I did pray about it, then I must not have.

And I didn't like that at all. That's not like me. I pray about everything.

"Oh well," I thought. Now did it mean that was the cause of the accident? Nope.   Not at all. It was just something that I noticed.  I don't believe in God just snatching things and what not. Yeah, I grew up being taught such, which made me frustrated with religion, but it is not a part of my beliefs now.

But I know one thing. I was gearing up to go out and purchase another one.  And this time I was going to pray for some direction.  And I felt a little better about things when I did that. And I was still upset about being all upset over a car.  It still bothers me at times.

Anyway, things happened super fast after that. I am still shocked at how fast things happened. You know, it was to the point where I am still thinking about it all. And it is probably the reason I haven't bothered to write my thoughts concerning it.  I have so many thoughts and theories, too many to even post here.

I got proactive and started looking at cars again. I was going to be picking up my check for the car and I wanted to just start looking for another car.  I'd printed out a bunch of used cars like mine and I was in the process of putting them through an auto history check service. I was interested in a couple, but most were suspect. I remember just before leaving to go home from work one day that I decided that I would take a look in the website I was using one last time before I called it a day. I saw something unusual on the website, and something that I hadn't seen before that day: a car for sale that looked exactly like mine.

Odd, I thought. Very odd.

"That wasn't there a few minutes ago," I said aloud.

I printed out the page. It was for sale through a private seller, which made me shudder, and there was no information (VIN number available). I almost blew it off, but I sent the seller an email. I wanted the VIN number so I could run it through the system. The seller sent the VIN number, and the next day, she and I had a conversation about it and arranged a test drive.

She lived only a couple of miles from my job. That was cool. I could meet her somewhere on my lunch break.

And she pulled up in the at our meeting spot. The car looked exactly like the one I totaled. It was gold like my car, but with more bronze undertones. Unless you'd seen my car a lot, you would have not been able to tell the difference.

Once I got in the car, there was no difference. The interior was exactly the same. Even the wood paneling was faded in the same places.

But what really shocked me was what happened on the 15 minute test drive. Me and this woman who I have never set eyes on in my life had a conversation that for some reason was like salve to the brokenness in my spirit over the loss of the other car.

I don't know if that is the best way to put it, but I don't know how else to put it. I tell you, I can't really even put it in words.

It wasn't as if we talked about much. She was just going to let me take the car and drive it around and come back later or something strange like that. I was thinking, maybe this white woman don't want to get in the car with a negro. All I know, I wasn't taking that chick's car and driving nowhere by myself. So she accompanied me on the test drive.

But the conversation... it was just a general conversation. She talked about the car, and answered whatever questions I had about it. I told her of how I was all busted up over totaling my car and she told me of how she had switched cars with a friend for a day and the friend totaled her car and to this day she was a little sad every time she saw a car like that one. She even told me a funny story about her and her dad going to go buy a car from a man with a bible on the front seat, and how the car sale was a scam and the title was all jacked up and stuff.

That was funny. Because if I see a bible on someone's seat out in the open, I'm always suspect. Bad I'm that way, but I am. It's like you want me to... trust you automatically or something.  Stop it, I say.

The conversation was what it was. We even talked about some racial stuff.  That's the first person that I've talked to who feels like I feel about different races: You have to take people at face value. There is a very small minority (1 or 2 percent by her estimates, and mine too) of any race that is suspect. I have always felt that way myself . I don't want to miss out on stuff just because I have a problem with someone's skin color.  Not sure how that facet of the conversation came up. Much happened in 15 minutes of time.

But I tell you, I felt much better after that.

And it was to the point where I was talking about it in my prayers. "I don't even have to buy the car. I just thank you for the conversation, Lord."  I actually thought I'd gone and seen the car just so that God could set up a conversation of sorts, for whatever reason. I just felt A LOT better. I was happy for that. I didn't even have to buy the car.

Of the numerous conversations I had last year, and I had too many to count,  that was the most important conversation.  I even had a moment of  thinking - "Maybe that was an angel."

O_O

The bible does say be careful who you entertain, because you never know, it could be an angel. Hmm.

But I did purchase the car. I think I got the check for the car on April 1. I bought that car on April 4th.

And it was if it just fell into my lap. Shocked the cheese out of me. I was O_o for a few days.

Same car. Same year. Same color.

Just that fast.

And what really blew my mind was that I found out that that car had came off the assembly line directly after the one I'd totaled. The only reason I even found that out is because I had both insurance cards sitting in my wallet and I wanted to make sure I didn't throw the wrong card away... and I noticed that the VIN numbers were similar. A little bit too similar. A few hours of looking into it, and I found out that it was the one right after the other one. This type of thing is only important when you're buying high end luxury cars. If 50 of the cars are made, you want to know which one you're buying. The first off the line is the most desired, etc. So my car came off the line right after the other one.

And that really blew my mind.

The lady that sold me the car had NO idea why she posted the car when she did. She said that she could've posted it as much as a year prior, but she didn't. I think she was just as shocked.

That was a shining moment of my year. I am still thinking about it all, because it was a bit mysterious to me.

I know one thing, and it's a pattern with me: after some meltdown or moment of angry in prayer, when I just come out and say how I truly feel about a thing, really strange things happen, REALLY fast, to rectify the situation. And I mean FAST. Totally unexpected and in a whirlwind type of manner.

And Lucy Jr. was one of those things.

I learn something about myself in those times. I am human. I hurt. I cry. I have moments of anger. I hide these feelings well enough, but sometimes it all comes out in my prayer life.

Feelings, feelings, feelings. Questions marks galore.

But I know a couple of things to be true:

My faith must go past my feelings. 

My faith must go past the question marks. 

And once that happens, interesting things happen.

This was so important to me. I will forever be thinking about it from so many different angles. I really think the original Lucy was my "Ishmael" - something that I just went out and did myself.  I think the second Lucy was my "Isaac" - something God set up for me, and the way it all went down, it was without a shadow of a doubt.

And I feel funny saying that, because like I said, I am not a material girl. Not in the least.

But you know what's interesting? I have to touch that car, and it's a reminder of God's goodness. A physical reminder, no less. If I would go out to the garage to get something from the deep freezer, I had to see or go past that car. If I was going to drive my other car, I had to walk out the garage past that car to the other one. And most importantly, whenever I drive the car, I think of how it all went down. And there was an interesting forerunner, a foreshadowing of sorts, that happened right before the car issue...



A fence repair in my yard. One I didn't do. Just like the car, I have to look at the new piece of wood in the fence. And it's in a place where I have to see it every single day.

So I think about Lucy and the fence daily. They are symbols of some sort. It has served to jack up my faith a few notches. Quite a few.

This helped me much. I know that God hears me. And most notably, He sees beneath what I choose to pray about. He is well aware of all those back corridors of my heart, where I keep things hidden and locked away. It's made me a bit open with myself about my feelings, and I have the courage to examine them a bit more thoroughly... and pray about it.

God took care of the material, the tangible... something I'm not overly concerned with.

How much more will he take care of the things that truly concern me- the immaterial and the intangible?

Happy Lucy Junior Conversations

("Conversations week"continues until June 30th. Enter to win fabulous prizes. See Conversations week post for details)

It is Lucy, Junior!!!!

Lucy Junior!! At my house! The Literal House of LadyLee!!!!

Hi Lucy Junior!!!

Yes! It is Lucy Junior. The L Deuce. Lucy 2.0.

Lucy Juicy if you're nasty!

Ha ha!

And I needed to take Lucy Jr. to the auto mechanic shop last Tuesday. Pronto...

Why?

Because I was driving down the road in these monsoon African rains that Atlanta has been having lately. And the windshield wipers were going good. And I noticed one day, during these torrential rains, that one of the winshield wipers was peeling.

*ladylee rolling down the road, bumping some Jill Scott*

"What is that?" I said, leaning forward and staring hard at the swishing windshield wipers. "What the world? Did a stem fall on my window?

No. The windshield wiper blade had peeled off down about 75%.

Sigh. I don't know how to change windshield wiper blades.

SUE ME!

I am a girl. I don't care about that type of stuff. Take it somewhere and let somebody else do it.

The next day at work, I announced to my boss, who was meandering around the cubicle area, "I'm going to go get my windshield wipers changed! And I'm going to get a road test!"

"The back blade on my Explorer needs changing too."

"Well, I'm getting mines done. Scared me to death yesterday? I though a small tree branch was on the window or something."

By this time, another coworker walked up. Her name is Mel. She listened in the conversation. She's only been in our group a couple months. She's a youngun, and she's from the ratchet downstairs crew. So she is happy to be upstairs with us where there is some semblance of sanity.

"Yo, man," she said. "You don't have to go through all that. You can go some wipers and I will change them for you."

"Uh, no," I said.

"Come on, man!" she said. She looked a bit too excited. "Come on, I'll hook you up!"

"No," I said again.

This went on for a couple of minutes, her trying to convince me to let her change her wipers and me hollering "No" or "HELL NO!"

"I tell you what," I finally said. "You go outside and change the back wiper on the boss lady car. And we'll get her to crank it up. If you can do that right, then you can change my wipers."

The boss stared at me unblinkingly.

Mel just stood there speechless.

I could see what was going through Mel's mind. If she went outside and jacked up the boss' back window wiper, she'd be sent back down to the plantation from which she came. She'd be sent back downstairs.

This killed the wiper blade discussion. Mel had the look of pure horror and fear on her face. The boss had the death stare. I thought she was gonna twist her fingers just so, like Darth Vader... causing me to suffocate and fall out.

Later in the hallway.... here comes Mel..

"Yo, let me do your wipers. Come on, man!"

"NO! I made an appointment to get it done."

Mel walks away.

Yes I made an appointment. I took it to the specialty shop I used for the original Lucy. I like that place because some of the mechanics own the same generation.

I made an appointment for wipers and a road test.

"Do you think you need an oil change, LadyLee?" the owner Chuck asked.

"I don't know. I didn't lift the hood when I bought it. Oil light never came on. And I've put 1500 miles on  it. You can check it if you want to."

Chuck blinked.

I was supposed to bring the car in for a pre-purchase check, but it was super cold and rainy that day. I went ahead and bought the car, since Lucy Junior's owner had all the paper work."

"We'll do a 5K check then," he said.

That was cool. And he could take as long as he wanted. My appointment was at one. Hopefully I could stick around until 3. Or 7 pm. That way I wouldn't have to go back to work. Hmm...

I sat on the couch- the nice nice leather couch -and played around on my laptop, texted a few people, and listened to my music (Jill Scott, ya'll!).  They have snacks and sodas and water. And I'm the one who is all for bottled water! Oh yeah!

Some random lady came up to me after an hour and said "They've been calling your name!"

Ok. Yes, I was in my own world. Totally plugged in. Oh joy!

One of the mechanics came out and talked to me.

"Is everything alright with the car?" I said.

And he said something that made me cheese like Celie.

"That is a perfect car!"

*ladylee holds back the urge to do rockette kicks*

"Yes, it is. Better than the one I wrecked," I said, a little too loudly.

We talked about it. I gave a mini-testimony.

"You just need your tires rotated. That is it."

And I let them do it.

I told Chuck that the last owner's paperwork said that I needed rear struts and mounts and front struts.

"Uh, does it ride well? Does it squeak?"

"Rides well and I rarely hear any squeaking."  Matter of fact, I don't remember any squeaking.

"If it was me, I wouldn't get it done," Chuck said. "Long as it rides nice like you like, not necessary."

And that was fine by me.

The car was already riding well on those Michelins... but it rides a tad bit better with the rotation.

Oh, joy!

I returned to work around 3:30 pm after running a few errands.

And here comes Mel....

"Hey, did you get your wipers changed?"

"Yes! Yes I did!"

And I got so much more. Lucy Jr. is all the car I thought she would be.

And when I think of her, I always say, "Thank you God for my good and perfect gift." 

The Funny, the Nerdy, and the... Strange (Yet Wonderful)

The Funny... I talked to my sister Kentucky last night. I was glad to talk to her, since I hadn't talk to her since a couple of weekends ago. I was quick to apologize for not talking to her this weekend when she called as I just needed some time to myself. She shrugged it off. (The poor girl lived with me for over 5 years. She knows how I get). 

She gave an update on something she is trying to do right now: get a teaching assignment somewhere over in the Middle East. I must say I don't pretend to fully comprehend why she wants to go over there. I do understand, but I am selfish. I feel like she is the only piece of family I have right now, and if she goes that far away, well... it will just be an emotional adjustment for me. I just want her to be happy and go and do great things in her life. That is what is key.

Anyway, I could tell she was on the verge of tears about of few things. She was trying not to cry and just be strong, though. And I am thinking "Girl, please don't cry, because I been crying all week, and I may just lose it once again."  But we were able to talk and agree to pray about some things, and go on from there. I try to get her to end our convos on something positive that happened that day. Hard when the negative sometimes gets all the attention.

I still have some ability to encourage, I suppose. 

And I know how to make her laugh...

"When you get over there," I said. "I'm not coming to see you."

Nope. I'm not going to see her. She was telling me how a woman's ankle is considered sexy, and it is a problem showing your ankle.

"Ain't no way I'm gonna get locked up for wearing the wrong clothes and shoes. If I come see you, don't give me a burqa. Just give me a sheet to put over my head with a tiny hole so that I can see where I'm going. I don't need to eyeholes."

"I don't think they do that," she said through laughter.

"Whatever. You don't know that for sure, Kentucky. You better go outside with some boots and a lot of clothes on. I don't care if it is 200 degrees outside. When you get in the house, you can get butt-nekked then. But you better not look out the window. You get in trouble over there, I can't help you. And Obama might not help you either."

I know she was rolling her eyes.

"I'm not coming over there," I said. "We can meet in some neutral spot like France. That's as good as it get. I can speak french, so I can stay out of trouble and get back to the US if I have to. I can't speak arabic. Oh noooo."

She laughed too hard.

We got into a conversation about purses. Not sure what that was about, as I don't particularly care for girly stuff. I only have 2 purses. I will carry those until the straps break, which means for the next 10 years, lol.

"My friend Charlene, she likes designer purses," Kentucky said. "She really likes the Coach purses."

I know Charlene. She's been Kentucky's best friend since middle school. And that Charlene... she is a diva indeed. A designer brand girl head to toe.

"Is that right?" I said.

"Yes," my sister replied. "And I tell her that I can't do the Coach purse thing. My purses cost no more than $19.99. And I'm not ashamed to say it."

"Me neither, honey," I said. "I ain't paying no more that twenty or thirty dollars for a pocketbook!"

We laughed about that. 

"But yo," I added. "The next time you see Charlene, tell that broad that even though I don't have a Coach purse, I have a Coach car. That Coach edition of the Lexus! Bet she can't say THAT!"

"No she can't."

"You got that right, baby! And you be sure to tell her that when you see her. Tell  her that Godzilla could put a strap on my car and carry it like a coach purse!"

We both laughed hard about.  

And I am glad of that laughter. Because I think we both had to laugh to keep from crying. Sigh. 

I have had TWO Coach Lexus. Not on purpose though.  I don't think many folk could say that. I don't really think many would care. I don't think I cared much. I just liked my car. Period. Was distraught when it was totalled. Came across another and bought it. End of story, right?

Hmmm...

The Nerdy...  I am such a nerd lately. I don't really know what that's about. I guess I just like my brain challenged a little. And anything the crowd is into is a bit on the fluffy side to me. I like, I don't know... strange stuff. I have to keep reminding myself that this is probably one of the most fascinating times of my life, even though I feel like I lost a lot this week. I have to make sure I give more attention to the positive and not the negative.

And that positive includes learning something new and interesting every day. I have been reading a really good theoretical physics book. I minored in physics, but I have to read it super super slow just to take it all in. I am amazed at all these theories, and how some are stomping hard looking for the "Theory of Everything."

The fact that they can't figure it out proves to me that there is a higher power indeed. And being a scientist, I am not suppose to think like that. Oh well... it is all proving to me otherwise.

I am reading some things right now that are helping me understand some scripture that I didn't quite understand before... so I have to read slow for sure. Don't want to miss a thing!

I have also been learning things I don't like, like mathematical theories. Algorithms and stuff like that.

I don't like math that much. I did okay in algebra, trig, and geometry, but when it came to high level calculus, uh... I hated that. When I was in grad school, there was a class in school called "quantum chemistry", that involved a lot of advanced calculus and that nearly drove me batty!

 I remember hearing the whole "algorithm" term in school, but I have repressed it.

But because of the TWO Lucys, I had to go back and take a look at them, and try to understand them.

The...Strange (Yet Wonderful).... Like I said, I've been thinking about algorithms.An algorithm is a step-by-step problem-solving procedure, especially an established, recursive computational procedure for solving a problem in a finite number of steps.

Hmmm...

I've been trying to understand the whole algorithm thing.

I, like you, holler "Who cares."

I don't. It makes me feel like I'm in school or something. And I done had it up to forehead when it comes to school.

But I had to figure this out for a reason. And it is quite interesting.

There's something interesting that goes on in society, right under our noses.

Everything has a numerical code.

The food and various goods we buy are barcoded. I think that is called a UPC code.

Our credit cards, bank account number, and the routing number are all codes.

The ISBN number on a book. The zip code (those bars that are on the envelope when it is delivered- that is a code). The health care provider code on your health insurance.

Those are codes.
And any code like that, where there is a long list of numbers, has something special embedded in it: a "check digit".

It is a digit that only has one thing to do with the code: an algorithm is used to calculate it. All the other numbers and letters of that code are put through an algorithm (a mathematical calcultation) to calculate that one specific number.
Simple enough, I suppose. But who on earth would've thought of such a thing? And why?

Well, a mathematician. I don't like math, so I don't understand why would someone sit around thinking up such stuff. Probably the same reason I sat around and came up with synthesis of chemistry compounds when I was in school. I needed to come up with something original if I wanted that doctorate degree. I guess the mathemeticians had to do the same.

Anyway, a check digit seems to authenticate a long series of numbers in a code. That is its only purpose. You know, just to check to make sure it's not a fraud, or that it wasn't copied incorrectly. It catches fraud, and human errors.

(I don't know... it all sounds a bit" big-brother-is watching-you" to me. Humph).

What is most interesting is that a car's VIN number contains a check digit. A car's VIN number is 17 digits long.

A hypothetical VIN number:

JQ8BF19G3W4939937

The check digit is in the middle.

JQ8BF19G3W4939937

Some of the guys at work were laughing at me because I was reading about VIN numbers. I thought the numbers were random, just arbitrary. But they really aren't. They contain a ton of information, like the country of origin, the engine type, restraint system type (whatever the heck that is), the model, series, brand of car, year it was made (that W in the above number means the car was manufactured in for 1998)...

All kinds of information.

Even the factory info. Hmm...

All the other numbers and letters (their numerical equivalent), can be put through an algorithm to get the number "3" in the above number. That may not work above, as I picked some random VIN for this example. But your car VIN number, if it is a real one, could be put through an algorithm to calculate what the "check digit" will be.

You may holler... "Who cares, LadyLee?"

At first I didn't.  Heck, I didn't even care about a VIN number. I am a girl, i.e., I don't care nothing about car stuff. I just need the car to crank when I turn the key, and just GO. Period.

Well... I figured, since the nice lady that sold me this car kept ALL her repair records, and gave them to me, then that was a good responsible thing.
Well, I should be equally responsible.Why don't I just go and print out the vehicle report, too? I had printed it out before, but had written all over it when I was questioning the nice lady who sold me the car. I wanted to print out another one.

So I had my 2 insurance cards... one for the old Lucy, one for the new Lucy. I had put "old" in red on the old busted Lucy's insurance card. And I left Lucy Jr's I left plain.

But the numbers were... interesting.

Hypothetical numbers:

Old Lucy:  JQ8BF19G3W4939937

Lucy Jr:     JQ8BF19G5W4939938

Interesting. Of course they have different check digits. That makes sense. That is so me and somebody like reader Ginae won't sit up here and steal a bunch of cars and make up VIN numbers. They have the check digit for authentication purposes.

But look closely at the sequence of those last 5 numbers.

Now I remember sitting at my desk one day last week, looking at all of this. The whole check digit thing had me confused, as I could give a darn about the whole algorithm thing. I found a site that said I could just snatch that digit out and look at the rest of the numbers.

If we look at the VIN numbers above, and snatch the red check digits out, then we see something quite interesting: The numbers are sequential.

I remember the moment the light bulb went off over my head. Poor cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre got the brunt of it.

*sliding to Cre's side of the cubicle and shaking her chair*

"Look! Look at this!" I said. I showed her the post-it notes with a bunch of numbers on it. "Lucy and Lucy Jr., blah blah blaaaaaaaah!"

Lucy and Lucy Jr.

They came out of the same factory.

They came off the same assembly line.

One right behind the other.
What are the chances of that happening, one right behind the other like that? Could that even be correct?

I did a little more digging around on websites and saw that yes it was. Those last few digits are the numerical sequence of the cars coming off the production line.

Numerical sequence of production are important in the manufacture of rare or expensive cars. So it means a lot if you bought the first car produced, or the last car produced after the car is discontinued. Both cars probably are collector items, and rightfully so.

The VIN numbers for my cars, though....That had me a little O_O for a few days. How on earth did I come across a car I really like, total it, then come across a replica of it, and they came off the line, one right behind the other?

And me, being nosy, and finally understanding the whole "check digit" ratchetness, calculated and figured out the check digit for both cars. That was unnecessary, as both titles for each car were clean (I got my title for Lucy Jr. last week. The original Lucy has a salvage title now. sigh). I just wanted to make sure for myself that this "Check digit" thing is actually true. And it is. It took me a couple of days, and a couple of websites that walk you through it to see for myself. (Still feels like some big brother mess to me, though).

I checked a few other VIN numbers of cars coming before and after these two cars. Three were shipped to the east coast. A couple of others shipped to the west coast, which makes sense. At least I know these cars were shipped in the same direction, to this coast. One was purchased in Florida, the other in Georgia. One (the old Lucy) was burnished gold. The other (Lucy Jr.) is cashmere gold. Hmm...

I don't know. That is just interesting.

And it is strange...What are the odds of that type of thing happening, me buying 2 special edition cars that just so happen to come off the assembly line, one right behind the other? It just blows my mind.

It is not a random thing. It is beyond coincidence, beyond luck and all that.  It is a blessing of some sort. Probably beyond blessing.

It is strange... yet wonderful. 

I haven't quite figured out the meaning behind it all. I have my thoughts, though. Many of my tangibles are born out of something intangible, so I am always thinking in that direction. I will probably post my thoughts on that later, in a food-for-thought post of some sort.

That is sure enough my "happy" moment of the year so far. I will be thinking about that for a long time.

A very very long time.

Friday Funnies: An Open Letter to Ex-Mom... from Lucy Jr. (formerly "Lexi")

"Lady M", the former owner of Lucy Jr., really loved the car she sold to me. I thought I would allow Lucy Jr. to write her a little letter to her, her ex-Mom... just to let her know how she is doing.


Dear Ex-Mom...

It's me? Lexi!

Remember me? You were my Mom for over 10 years!

Oh what a great Mom you were! But you're my Ex-Mom now. Sigh.

Oh my. It feels so funny calling you that. Ex-Mom? Geez. But that is what you are. Sigh.

If I had eyes, they'd be full of tears, and I would just cry, cry, cry.

Enough of that. I must be a big girl and pull myself together and write this letter!

It is interesting, this having a new Mom and a new home.

I didn't know what to think when we pulled up at the new house.

It looks nice enough. And there were pretty flowers out in front. It was nice and quiet.

There was another car in the driveway. This must be my new sibling, I thought.

"Hello," I said. "My name is Lexi!"

"Hi," the car said. "My name is Pam. And uh... your name isn't Lexi anymore. It's Lucy Jr."

"Lucy Jr.?"

"Yes, Lucy Jr. There was another car here just like you.  Her name was Lucy. But she was wrecked. I heard she was totaled. Now you're here. You're Lucinda. Lucy 2.0. L Deuce. You're Lucy Jr."

Lucy Jr.. I pondered this. Such an odd name. But I guess I would have to accept it.

Ex-Mom, I continued to look all around and around. It was very quiet, but you never know with new places.

"Do they treat you good around here?" I asked Pam.

"Yes. And you'll be treated just fine, especially since you'll be kept in the garage."

"Garage?"

Pam paused before answering. "Yes, the garage. That is a room for you and all of Ladylee's junk."

"Okay," I replied. Garage. I was kept in a carport before. So if it's anything like a garage, that will do just fine."

"The garage is good," Pam said. "You won't have to be like me... sitting out here dealing with the rain, the wind, the snow, the ice, the hot hot sun... and this nasty pollen."

"Pollen?"

"Yes, the yellow stuff. You have some on you there. LadyLee sprays me with water from the hose if we have to go anywhere. Won't be that much of a problem when you're kept in the garage. It is nice in there. There are two large picture windows. And you get to stare at the deep freezer up against the back wall. You're special."

"I'm special," I said. "I am."

"Yes, you are," Pam said. She hesitated. "And we should stop talking. I have to admit that I'm trying to get over not being kept in the garage."

Hmmm... Did I sense a bit of hostility, ex-Mom? I hope not. I don't want trouble with the other car.

Oh well. Into the garage I went.

"LadyLee is gonna clean it out when it gets warm out," Pam hollered as the garage door closed. "And you'll have much more room."

Much more room. That would be nice. And maybe the new sibling Pam could come join me.

And we could stare at the deep freezer together.

Hmm...

I have been at my new place for a whole week, ex-Mom. Can you imagine? A whole week away from you. It is pretty quiet here. I haven't been driven much on the weekdays, but last weekend? We were allll over Atlanta

I was tired. Sooooo tired.

Last Saturday I carried LadyLee to the westside to Bankhead Library. She is in some strange group called the Triple F Posse. This didn't sound quite right to me. I thought it was some gang type of thing. I thought I would have to take on my L Deuce persona. I thought she would leave me running outside so she could make a quick getaway. But it wasn't! It is a financial group- the Financial Freedom Fighters. They talk about their financial goals and budgets. I felt better after hearing that!

Afterwards, several of the group headed down the street to Bankhead Seafood for some fish. There I am, parked out front.

Oh, this place... it's what they call the "Hood", ex-Mom. Oh my. I saw some sights while there. Not sure I want to go back. Oh my.

But LadyLee got her fish... a full tray for 5 dollars.

(If you ask me, ex-Mom... something's wrong with that. Even I know fish should cost more than that. But I wasn't going to point that out to LadyLee. I didn't want to upset the new Mom).

And it wasn't for her anyway. It was for her sister. LadyLee wanted the hush puppies!

Afterwards, I transported LadyLee to a veternarian hospital, all the way over on the eastside. Decatur! That's me, parked outside the place and waiting for her.

She had to pick up a case of food for her cat. I don't think she was too happy about that. I could tell by the way she was gripping the steering wheel. Very tight. Too tight!

We stopped at a local gourmet grocer in Candler Park on the way home. LadyLee wanted some fresh made hummus. She quickly got that and we were on our way back to the new home.

Now, I asked Pam about the hard gripping of my steering wheel, when we arrived home.

"She's pissed about that cat food. That is the Oldcat Oscar-Tyrone's cat food. That cat food costs $67 a case. He has pancreatis and hepatitis. Poor thing. And LadyLee doesn't like shelling out that cash for that."

"I can only imagine," I said.

"And it doesn't help that that's the ex-husbands cat. Doesn't help at all."

(Hmm. That Pam. She know, she's a gossipy car. Gossipy indeed.)

Anyway, the next day we were at it again. Brunch with LadyLee's sister waaay out on the Southside!

And LadyLee likes going way out to the southside. She likes to get gas while she's in the surburbs. It costs a little less than inner city gas. It means good cheap gas for me!

"I'll take a tank of premium," I whispered to her. She nodded yes, and proceeded to fill the tank.

"Thank you very much, LadyLee."

Ooooh-weeee! Golly gee whiz! Nothing like a full tank of gas!

LadyLee hung out with her sister for a couple of hours. And then we were headed back to the new home.  There was plenty of loud music. Too much base. My speakers hurt!

Ex-mom... her music selections are... strange. That's a good word: strange.

This new mom... She listens to a lot of Roy Ayers.




Songs about butterflies, bees, flowers and sunshine and the like...

O_o. 

Just odd.

And then she likes to play the song she played to test the car system out... you know, when she finished  her test drive? That Anita Baker song.



Oh Ex-mom... it's my official song! I do remember the two of you fiddling with the CD changer. And that song beginning to play!

If I had eyes, I would cry, cry, cry!

*lucy jr. composes herself*

I am doing well, ex-Mom. Just fine.

I think you left me in good hands. Mama LadyLee will do just fine, as long as she get me the good gas and plays that Anita Baker!

So I wanted to just write you a letter to let you know how I am doing.

I won't bother you anymore. I didn't want you to worry.

I am in good hands. Yes I am!

Love,

Love, Lucy Jr.

formerly "Lexi".



Ha ha...

Oh my. Blog family thinks I've been drinking a bit too much, huh?

Nope, not me. Unless someone slipped something in this non-alcoholic beer of mine.

I just wanted to send a little note to "Lady M".

What a nice chick you are... and here I was, making up things about you when I ran the VIN number through one of the report sites.

"Look at these low miles the past year for this car," I told my cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre. "Under 1000 miles. Wonder what that's about."

"It may mean she works from home, LadyLee," Cowgirl Cre said.

"No, it doesn't. That chick has been in jail. She had to park the car for a year while she was locked up."

LOL

And your email address had me wondering. "Hmm... Sounds like a tattoo parlor.  I bet she's a tattoo artist. She messed up somebody's tattoo and she beat the person up when they complained. So she was locked up for a year."

My imagination. It is quite vivid.

Oh my. You were none of that! Thank goodness!

And thank goodness you didn't have a scavenger hunt, or some ol' crazy Lady M Hunger games madness for a chance to buy the car. (Yes, it is a very good car. I think I would've particpated, although begrudginly).  And what a great 15 minute test drive we had. You actually kicked a little wisdom my way. And that's a good thing! Even if i didn't buy the car, that was well worth it in itself!

There is a slogan that states "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

I feel in this case we can change it to "One woman's treasure can become another woman's treasure."

Because I know "Lexi" was Lady M's treasure. A treasure for so many years.

So with that said, this has been a good week with Lucy Jr. I get in the car and can't even tell the difference from the other car.  How cool is that!?

I will definitely take good care of her!

Yes indeed!

Case Dismissed!

So I went to traffic court on Tuesday for this failure to maintain lane ticket.

And the case was dismissed.

The most I did was fill out some paperwork pleading no lo contendre. Maximum fine was $1000 dollars and I had that available.

I just didn't want to go to jail.

"You are not going to jail, Lisa," my sister Kentucky said.

"I hope not," was my week response.

"Maybe I should catch a cab to court. That way if I get locked up, my cars will be at home."

My sister sighed. "You are not going to jail, Lisa!"

"I don't know what I'm going to do about Oscar-Tyrone. You know that lil' dude got his hepatitis and pancreatis isshas. He has that special food he needs to eat. Hope he be alright."

My sister chuckled. She has had her hands full with me for the past 3 weeks. I guess all she can do is laugh to keep from crying.

Well, I knew I shouldn't get locked up. But one of my friends was locked up over a ticket by some female judge. One of Kentucky's friends went before this lady judge before and yes, she was locking everybody up. "Yeah, that chick crazy," my sister's friend said. "Make sure you dress right. She tries to provoke you too. Remain calm and don't argue."

O_o

I was hoping I didn't get this lady judge. You just don't know who's having a bad day. Sigh.

Anyway, I had a notebook full of all of my pertinent information and pictures of a totaled Lucy. The fine would be less than $200, but if I could say something, I would.

I also made sure to drive Pam instead of Lucy Jr. to the courthouse. I didn't want Lucy Jr. in a parking deck all night in case I was locked up.

And I remembered my Prayers That Availeth Much book, and the prayer in there concerning Court Cases. I spent a little time praying and confessing and pondering that. That helped me to stop thinking about it, at least.

And I mustered up the courage to go on in to court.

I got there 30 minutes early. Interestingly, I live only 2 miles from the courthouse. (Yes I really do live THAT close to actual downtown, to the point that I just tell people that I live downtown.)

We all sat down on the benches in the hallway, waiting for something. (I just did what everyone else did).

The clerk opened the courtroom door and asked us to line up and fill out paperwork. I filled mine out and had a seat on the back row. The baliff came in and asked us to turn off our phones and to throw out our gum if we were chewing it.

(After awhile, I thought this dude just liked to hear himself talk. Sigh.)

I'd pulled up the docket for that courtroom and time, and personally, I was interested in hearing some cases. There were a few people charged with soliciting prostitutes and spitting on people. There were some people charged with hit and run. I wanted to see all of that.

But alas, that didn't happen.

The judge came in and sat down and looked through his computers.

"If I call your name, line up."

He called several names, including my own.

And I noticed people in front of me were getting dismissed.

Hmm.

Then two people ahead of me were at the podium. The baliff kept asking the man not to lean on the podium. He was a big man with obvious health issues. The baliff didn't have to do that. (I think he just wanted to hear himself talk).

Then it was my turn. The judge asked my name. I told him. He did some typing. Then he said "Case dismissed. You're free to go. Good-bye. NEXT!"

O_O

I walked halfway down the aisle and then I looked back. I raised my hand to get the baliff's attention.

"I have a question."

The baliff frowned. "Didn't you just see the judge?"

"Yes. But I still have a question."

"Leave!" he said.

"But I have a question."

"What part of the word 'leave' do you not understand? LEAVE!"

I looked him up and down. And I turned and left.

I figured there was no need in upsetting the baliff. I didn't want to get locked up.

I saw the guy who was in line before me (who wasn't allowed to lean on the podium), waiting for the elevator with his grandson. The little boy was talking away. "I thought we would be there a long time, but we weren't.

The kid was right. We were there no more than 10 minutes.

I still had a question.

"So, when they say dismissed, what does that mean?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "It means it is over."

"No fine or nothing?" I asked.

"No. It is done. You can go home."

*lee cheeses like Celie*

GLORY!!

I did a church jog on the courtroom steps and left. Pam's hood was still warm. I got in my car and drove over to the new Black People's wal-mart over in the hood (That place- sigh. I wish we could have a Wal-mart like the ones the white folks have. This was the smallest and darkest Super-Walmart I had ever come across. Sigh).

I talked to my sister later. I told her what happened.

"See Lisa? You didn't go to jail."

"No I didn't. But I still had a question."

"What was that?"

"I wanted to know if I get a receipt or something. Something stating that everything was dismissed."

"They have all that in the system. It's over with."

Sigh. That's not good enough. This is the City of ATL we are talking about. Heck, I don't want to be stopped by the police and thrown to the ground and handcuffed. I need some papers or something to keep in my glove compartment.

I live in Zone 3. Zone 3 is NOTORIOUS for some tomfoolery. I'm tempted to run if they drive by my house and I'm outside cutting grass. You know it's bad when a drug dealer is on TV crying about how bad he's been shook down by the cops. We just had some big citywide cop scandal a couple of weeks ago. Sigh. Shady, shady, shady.

But for now, I think this ordeal is over.

I need some paperwork, man. I read online that I can contact the county clerk for that. I will do that. I don't want no trouble. None at all.

I remember thinking back in late March that all of this will be over soon. If Lucy was totaled, I'd easily have another ride by May, and if I didn't, that was alright. I had an extra car and had a little time to look.

But interestingly, everything is now over and taken care of. Court is done, and I got Lucy Jr. out of this!

And all my wailing and crying is over. Thank goodness for that.

This whole situation is now dismissed!!

Friday Food-for-Thought: The Lucys and Apples Edition

It is Friday.

And it's already April. But it hasn't felt like it in the ATL. This Thursday was cold and rainy.

I can stand cold. And I can stand rain. I just can't stand them together. And gloomy weather tends to throw me into a slight funk.  It was a day for laying in the bed dozing in and out and watching Maury Povich or the View.

I have been super busy, so I'm not blogging much.

And super distraught.

LUCY.

Lucy.

Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.

My lovely Lucy. Lucy the Lexus.

Lucy was TOTALED.

Lord help me.

*falls hard against church pew... ushers run to help*

That poor little black man who told me that on the phone last Friday caught my WRATH.

"What do you mean ya'll can't fix her!"

He just got super quiet. Like they taught him, I suppose. I just straight ranted.

And he was quiet.

I decided I didn't want to talk to him anymore. I decided to call the insurance adjuster (who was SO hard to catch up with) and try to calmly talk to him.

He simply said it was totaled. And that I could stop by on Monday and pick up the check.

O_O

My goodness. I was... distraught.

"Alright," I said.

Ugh.

I was an emotional mess.

I tell you. If it wasn't for my sister spending some time talking to me... I don't know how I could've even fathomed coming back for being so down.

And what bothers me the most is that if you know me, I don't get all discombobulated over material things. That's just not who I am. I am probably the most nonmaterialistic chick you will ever meet.

Why on earth was I so distraught?

I couldn't even think straight. And that bothered me.

I tell you. My doggone sister. That gal had to really work on me.

She has totaled a car, so she understand the all the processes and all the emotions. She dealt with my tears very well.

I managed to pull myself together and go to the collision shop and get some type of explanation of why this seemingly simple injury to Lucy couldn't be repaired. And it turned out that the metal was sliced to bad and they would have to replace a big piece that was continuous over the car. (I was a bit concerned about that. Saw it before I took it in). So it was a total loss.

They cut me a check for what it was worth, which came out about what I expected.

And they told me to go to the secretary and release it to my insurance company for towing.

While talking to her, I just broke down crying. I could hardly spell my name for her to find in the computer.

Man, it hurt so bad. I think it was just the culmination of the ratchet gamut of emotions I went thought. I am tearing up right now just thinking about it.

They told me to go out and remove whatever I needed from the car. I had completely cleaned it out that past Thursday when I took it in. All I needed was my license plate.  I watched as a worker unscrewed it.

They had already pretty much stripped Lucy. Sigh.

It was just a shell of what it had once been. Ugh.

I retrieved some papers out of the car and my license plate...

I made extra sure to find the guy I snapped on, and I apologized to him for my bad behavior.

(I tend to be like a seemingly empty mustard container... squeeze it hard enough, and a little mustard will come out. Yeah)

...and I got in Pam the Protege, and drove to work.

I felt okay, later. Better than I had. Why? Because I allowed myself just to let my emotions run their course. And my sister really really worked on me.

One thing she said made me feel hopeful:

"Lisa, you don't realize the dream position you in. You totaled the car, but you got your money back for it. You have an extra car. You don't have a car note. You can just hang out and look around and buy another Lexus when you feel like it."

She was right. I remember her having a car totaled when she'd almost finished paying for it. Then she had to rent a car for a good month, which is a giant bill in itself, and then get another car... and another car note. Back to square one.

She said she cried too. She even took a day off and stayed in bed all day. But she got up and got busy.

I decided I should do that too. I started looking at a few cars before I got the call about Lucy being totaled. I was just being nosy and looking at prices. I could essentially just go get another with the check I had. And I didn't expect much. Heck, it's a 14-year-old car.

I saw a few I liked. Kentucky got all excited because she is off all week, and I kept talking about her running me up to Tennessee to see one I liked. There was also mention of us shooting to West Georgia to peer at one I liked. (And if I was running up in a dealership, I was taking her with me. She negotiated Lucy's price).

I think the best thing about all of that is that I got my mind off my pain. I'm still not sure where all that pain radiated from. I would wake up in the middle of the night and pray about some things. I just wanted to not feel so BAD. Goodness. That is just not me.

I learned much about my feelings. And I was talking to a friend awhile back about how I treat my thoughts, feelings and emotions. It's a little cheeky, but I think you will draw something from it.

Imagine you and your child go to the grocery store one fine Saturday morning. The child is at an age where he or she can help out with the shopping. And that's a good thing, because it can be used as a teaching moment. (I know it was for myself and my baby bro Milk and Cookies, who considers himself my kid, since I am 17 years older than him).

Anyway, you tell your child to go and pick out a few apples. The child does it. He brings them back to the shopping cart in the flimsy bag that we all use for our produce.

You take a moment to examine the bag of apples. It looks to be half a dozen or so.

You notice that some of the apples are beautiful - big and red and shiny.

And then you see that some of the apples are not nice. They are bruised and soft and full of holes. One of them has some white mold growing on them.

You peer closer at one of the bad apples.

Oh my! Is that a worm peeking out at you?

Before you can finish the thought, the worm disappears back into the safety of the apple.

"Baby," you say. "Look at these apples. Some are rotten.  We don't want those."

You pick out those bad apples and you hand them to the child.

"Some of these apples are bad. And we're not buying the bad ones," you say. "Put those back. Get more good apples."

Hmmm...

"Some of these apples are bad. And we're not buying the bad ones... Put those back. Get more good apples."

Hmmm again...

I find it interesting that we are quick to do this simple fruit... and slow to do this with our thought life and feelings.

You know me. You know how much I wail about thoughts. And I know you are tired of me wailing and hollering about it. That's alright. Because I post it up to remind myself of it. I struggle with my thoughts, feelings and emotions from time to time.  So shoot... I need to talk to myself about these things sometimes.

Thoughts are like seeds.  My heart and soul are fertile soil.

And fruit sprouts from seeds.

Now that could either be either a good thing or a bad thing.

You know people by the fruit they produce.

I could throw the microphone up in the sky and end the post right there. That is enough to food-for-thought to chew on right there. But I won't.

I go through my little negative emotions from time to time. But it is usually short lived.

Mostly because I spend a fair amount of time examining my thoughts. Kind of like the mother above who examines the apples and finds some of them are good and some are bad.

She has enough sense to put the bad apples back. Why pay for that?

They might get sick if they eat it. And who wants to eat rotten fruit anyway?

Same way with my thought life. I have enough sense to know that the rotten thoughts aren't good for me.

Eventually those bad thoughts are going to produce some emotions, actions and reactions. Most likely, it's gonna be negative.

Here I was sitting around meditating on the thought of how Lucy was lost in a wreck that was less than a few seconds long. Sigh. I kept thinking on that. And I got the ticket for it. Made me cry something AWFUL.

I was thinking a little on the fact that I wasn't hurt. Getting hit by a BIG giant tow truck could be big trouble. I sure was grateful for that.

But there were too many thoughts competing. And combine it all with my patience issues, and this adjuster... man. I tell you... Dude. Wow.

I spent much time examining all of this.  I need better thoughts. I definitely concentrated on the fact that I didn't have to be airlifted out of anything. And I concentrated on the words of my sister. I tell you, I am usually the one advising her... it was the other way around this time. Way around.

I did a lot of praying. Learned more about myself that I already knew, but some things that I needed to really work on more.

I think the core central thought for me that bugged me something awful is one that I have sometimes:

I don't have much. I don't have all the fancy stuff that many of you have. I don't have the best health. I don't have family things to look forward to, as my family is not tight knit at all. I don't have the husbands or the kids. I don't have a lot...

BUT AT LEAST I HAD MY NICE AUTOMOBILE!!! DANG!!!!!!!

Geez. And now that's gone. *ladylee sits at the gates of the city dressed in sack cloth... crying and dumping ashes upon her own head*

That was the core of some things.

And if that is not some stinking thinking... WRONG thinking... then I don't know what it is.

That is akin to the worm coming out the hole of the rotten apple and looking at me... and running back in.

That was one of the many thoughts I examined. And I decided that that type of thinking was unacceptable. It wasn't true, really. And it didn't lead to a good place mentally at all.

I have more than most folks. I sure do. No doubt about it. And this is such a wonderfully fascinating time in my life. Just simply fascinating. There's not a day that goes by that I don't get multiple chances to impart some wisdom into someone's heart.  There's not a day that goes by where someone doesn't come across my path and imparts wisdom into my heart. Not a single day. I would have to go back a couple of years to find a "silent" day.

And I get a lot of answered prayer, which has me a bit O_o. But I'll take that!

It just fascinates me much.

That blows my mind.

And it is an excellent "apple", an excellent thought. Sure drowns out those wormy apples, those negative thoughts.

Really though.

Anyway, my prayer daily surrounds those intangibles. No, my nice automobile was gone. So what. That's some material mess.

(I was looking at Bentleys. I can afford a 10 year old Bentley if I wanted. Now THAT'S a nice automobile. LOL.)

Material things come and go.

And what I found most interesting is that I've been driving Pam the Protege for the past couple of weeks and I've been enjoying the cheese out of that for whatever reason. I tell you, that's the little car that could. And I actually prayed for that car. Lucy was my dream car, but if I'm being truthful about it, I was suppose to get that for myself for my 40th birthday. I didn't get that until I turned 42. So it wasn't that big of a deal. And the biggest reason Lucy got purchased is that I went out to crank up Pam and heard a "click" (dead battery).  I was planning on getting Lucy, but that was the day right there!

I have more to say about this. But I won't. I just had a couple interesting turning points in my thought life.

Not sure I explained the apples scenario well. I may have read something similar somewhere. Not sure. Heck, it may just be something that I understood while in the store myself picking out produce.

Anyway, let's end this post on a decent note.

The title... it looks like a typo.  WRONG. It is not.

This is a "Lucys" post. Plural. Means more than one.

Lucy, my beautiful Coach edition Lexus, was totaled. Got the check on Monday.

I'd like to introduce you to Lucy, Jr... an identical Coach edition (more gold, though) I picked up from a private seller on Thursday.

HA HA HA...

GLORY!!!!!

*church jog in the corner*

The circumstances of me coming upon this car has given me the shakes for the past couple of days. It's almost like it fell out the doggone sky or something.

Lucy Jr. was some lovely lady's spare car... just sitting in an carport collecting dust.

"You need to sell Lexi, Mom," her kids said. "It's in the way."

Hmm...

Mad interesting.

But I will just leave that alone.  I may blog about it one day.

But for now...

I will make sure I put the unacceptable apples back on the shelf. And pick out better ones.

I find that when I do that, it always opens the door for... something. Me? I was just looking for some peace of mind. Something else got ushered in with that.

Welcome to my family, Lucy Jr.

*cartwheels*

You have some good apples and a good weekend...

ON PURPOSE.