Quotable Quotes: Solo Navigation

Here's another great quote from one of the Origianl Oldgirls, the Infamous LoveBabz, from her post, Solo Navigation, concerning the ending of a relationship, and a return to singlehood.



"I do not feel alone in the world. I haven't felt alone in a long long time. My loveship is ending. Try as I might, there is no resuscitating something that is dead. Hanging on to the bitter end is bitter. We try to salvage love because we can recall when it was good; or when we were willing to let things fall by the wayside, because it (those little annoyances, quirks and personality flaws) were seemingly small and unimportant to the overall health of the loveship. Now those things are enormous and makes us crazy to no end.

I don't mind the solo navigation. I even like it a lot! The only feelings to consider in my decisions, are my own. Oh, I am not anti relationships, quite the contrary, I am more open to loveships more than ever. There is a great deal of value in connecting with someone, being committed to someone else and caring about their well-being. I want that fully in my life again. Its not enough to love someone. There has to be shared language, shared goals, shared forgiveness and shared joy. Nothing can thrive and grow under oppression, sadness and insecurity."




I like that word "loveship". It's so sophisticated and high class, lol.

Long quote... but a good one, chocked full of some things I've alway considered when love is ending.

I think I was telling my sister, and realizing my ownself, when looking back at relationships that were ending, that you're not necessarily mourning the end of the thing.

Afterall, you might be with a knucklehead, and it's time for him to go.

(Shoot... YOU might be the knucklehead in the relationship.)

We are not mourning the end of the relationship, but moreso, all that it encompassed, the emotional investment made, the time spent, and the loss of a time when things were good in the relationship. And I think once we realize we can't get any of that back, it might be easier to understand, let go, and accept moving on.

The final line of that quote contains 3 strong words: oppression, sadness, and insecurity.

No, nothing can grow, or even exist, in the midst of such.

Heck, I look at friendships that have ended, and one of those was in the mix. ESPECIALLY that insecurity part. Geez.

Strong quote from one of the Originals...

Really stuck with me and gave me something to think about.

Semi-Wordless Wednesdays: "Too Pretty to Eat"

Yesterday's lunch: salad made with baby green lettuces, spinach, broccoli, tomatoes, and strawberries.

It was almost too pretty to eat!

Enter the Dragon!

As part of transitioning to a more vegetarian lifestyle, I've made it a requirement for myself to try new fruits, vegetables and grains from time to time.

Some things work, resulting in me finding new and interesting foods.

Sometimes it doesn't. And all I can say is that I tried the item.

But the most unsual fruit I tried is one that I came across recently.

DRAGON FRUIT.

Other names for it: Pitaya and Strawberry Pear.

Look at it. Looks like an egg laid by a dragon.



Or if I'm really being honest, it looks like something a dragon coughed up or shot out its behind.

A bizarre fruit, it is. Even more strange is how it grows.



On a cactus. If I was a pioneer back in that day, and walked up on that odd looking stuff growing on a cactus, well, let's just say I would've kept on walking. Looks a bit, I don't know... poisonous.

It originated in the far east asian countries. It's also grown in Israel, Austrailia, and Hawaii.

The look of the flower doesn't do much for one wanting to eat of the fruit.



With that said, I saw the dragon fruit at my local farmer's market. I passed by it once, thought "What the heck is that?" and kept walking.

By the time I came back there were a few people gathered around it.

One guy said "You just gotta get one. You gotta."

He said what we were all thinking. So I grabbed one. I think it cost 2 bucks.

It sat in the fridge for a week. I half expected for to open the door of the fridge one morning and it would be there... pulsing and glowing. Or Ithought I'd open the fridge and see a baby dragon glaring at me.

(My imagination is way to vivid).

But it just sat there, on the top shelf... waiting.

I told Serenity23 about it, and she looked it up and relayed some info. (Why didn't I think of doing that?) So after what she said, I decided to give it a try.

I was NOT expecting to see what I saw once I cut it.



White flesh with black seeds. (There is a metaphor there somewhere, but I just don't think that deeply.)

Here's a pic I saw of it, all cut up all pretty.

Man, do not let me come to your house for a party and see some craziness like that on the table. I WILL TALK ABOUT YOU LATER ON. You might as well cut up an apple and serve it to guests.

Black speckled white wedges ate not a good look on a plate.

How does it taste? Tasted to me like a cross between a ripe overripe pear and a kiwi. As a matter of fact you would think that someone mixed kiwi seeds into a pear. I love pears. I like kiwi. But this was just alright.

You'll never hear me say, "Oh lawd! I'm craving some good dragon fruit."

I'm not a big fan of white fruits and veggies. I prefer colorful fruit and vegetables. This dragon fruit isn't all that spectacular on nutrients. Yes, it has the usual, like vitamins and minerals. Has a little protein. (note: anything that comes out the ground has protein). It has a little fiber. But nothing in huge amounts.

I probably won't put this on my grocery list. As a matter of fact, another trip to the farmer's market and there it was... at double the price it was in the past week. (I guess they assumed people's interest in this strange fruit was synonymous with a demand for it. Humph). So no, I wasn't paying 4 bucks for a piece of fruit which tasted just okay.

I'm glad I tried something new.

Still looking for new more interesting fruits and veggies to try!

A Most Useful Monday Morning

Monday!

*Doing BIG cartwheels*

The current temperature in the ATL is 65 degrees.

The current time is 7:00 AM

Oscar-Tyrone is laying here on the bed, staring at me, wanting to be rubbed. Throwing him in a headlock usually gets him out of my face. I'll leave him alone and just let him... stare.

I slept pretty good last night. Heck, I don't even remember going to bed. That's how I like it.

My weekend. I had a very nice weekend. It was very laid back.

On Friday night, I had my Women of Color Writer's Workshop. The usual crew wasn't there, and there was a little more erotica than I care for, but you know me, nothing really bothers me. I think for myself, I just want people to be themselves. Period. That's all I want.

I have a couple pieces for blog, so I'm happy about that.

Saturday, I didn't do much but the usual at home. I didn't even leave the house.

Sunday, I had a very good Financial Freedom Fighters meeting. Man, we haven't met since like, June or something, which is toooooo long. We spent a good couple of hours talking about where we are financially, any particular setbacks, and where we want to be for the rest of the year. We're doing another 21 day financial fast in early November, and I'm extremely happy about that. For me, doing it back in April helped so much, and set in stone a couple of habit changes that are still ongoing.

The funniest thing for me was that on Friday evening, my workshop leader Dawn and I talked until well after midnight about her financial goals, and she wanted my thoughts on it. I told her how I felt, made some suggestions, and went on home.

Well, at our Triple F Possee meeting, she talked of her goals and her discussion of such with her accountability partner about it all. And I'm sitting there thinking "Who is her accountability partner? That person is pretty good."

Turns out that it was me. I forgot we were assigned accountability partners back in January, and we were put together. LOL

You should've seen my surprise. You should've heard me hollering repeatedly "I DID SOMETHING USEFUL!"

LOL!

I suck as an accountability partner in any area. And it's one of those things where it's probably one of my idiosyncracies. I HATE bothering people, and if you expect me to fuss at you for not doing what you gotta do, forget about it. It's just not me. You will rarely find me doing any accountability centered group-like activities. I know in Finance group, you need to call me if you wanna talk. I ain't calling you, and I don't do anything where I need my accountability partner to swing in like superman and help. (I'm rather boring financially. I'm not running out to get that hot new purse, or that fabulous pair of heels).

So it was GREAT to be useful in that sense this weekend, without even knowing it.

As always with my activities, I enjoyed getting together with the ladies and the fellowship. (And in the case of my writing workshop, there's one guy in our midst, lol. I'm glad he's comfortable enough to join us, as he brings an interesting dynamic to our group). It is all such a reprieve from the worries of my day. And it's one of those things that goes in the "truly important" category of my life.

Now, what I really liked about this weekend was that there was not a lot of hard errand running. Most times, my weekends include such. Over the past year, I've been trying to spread that out over the week. Only because I want my weekend free for more rest and relaxation.

The only errand I ran was to my pharmacy last night. It's funny to me now that the pharmacists know's my name. And she was like you've been coming here for years. She's right. I hit them up once or twice a month on average.

I was looking at her thinking while chatting with her, I hope that ain't the case someday.

Anyway, last month, I went to pick up some meds and she was having a bad day, one of them "bust out crying" type of days that we as women have, and I had to encourage her.

She remembered our quick interaction last month, and I spent a few moments talking to her yesterday, telling her that I understood, because I had a HORRIBLE, most horribly depressing tear filled summer. I took a little time to explain to her that whatever we are facing is temporary, and we will be better for it, and we will be okay.

So I got my medicine, did a little grocery shopping (I am out of baby green salad, man!), and left.

I remember thinking to myself in the parking lot "I DID SOMETHING USEFUL!"

That made me happy.

This was a trying weekend. Sensationalistic, even. Big scurry of our feet towards scandal. Our fingers pointing, laughing, joking. Our nosiness was at an all time high.

I know, in speaking face-to-face to a New Birth member this weekend, that from me, there was no jeering, pointing and laughing, no bashing, no hate for their pastor...

Only concern for my friend's feelings, and my undying support of my friend. I need for that friend's faith in God to stay strong, so that friend can continue to be a powerful influence in the life of myself and others.

And they had to hear me holler CLEARLY that I am NOT a member of their church, that is not my pastor, and all of that is between them.

I'm just one more nosy joker, with an opinion about something that has nothing to do with me. That is all.

But I was so happy in the midst of it all, I did good things this weekend.

I WAS USEFUL.

And I ask you, in the midst of it all, were you useful in someone's life? You help or encourage someone this weekend? Did you sow into someone's heart and spirit this weekend?

If not... well, check your priorities, alright?

That's all I'm saying. Check your priorities.

Carry that thought into the week.

Heck, 75% of the year is over.

Carry that thought into the remainder of the year.

I know I will.

I learned after this past week, I know that it is truly essential.

There are people out there who you will cross paths with and you're one of the pieces of the their life's puzzle.

Ponder that. Concentrate on that.

Believe That.

With that said, you have a great week. On purpose.

Friday Freestyles

TGIF!!

Man, I tell you, my weekdays are going by superfast.

I think it's because I'm doing much busy work at work. So by the time I look up, it's time to go home.

And I ain't nowhere near mad about that, mayne.

My week. I don't quite remember Monday or Tuesday. I went to work, and managed to stay out of trouble, and these days, that's what's important.

Now, I know on Tuesday night I arrived home and I noticed that my brake lights didn't go off. And those lamps were getting REALLY hot. The only way I could turn them off was to disconnect my battery. Then there was the decision of having to take at least half a day off and go get everything taken care of. I would've loved to just take half a day off and go in to work that afternoon, but management is silly, and God forbid I walk in the building at 1 or 2 in the afternoon and the wrong person sees me. I didn't want to have to deal with any allusions of stealing time, so I just took the day off, drove waaay out to the southside, got it fixed and purchased 2 new tires and an alignment. (The tires and alignment took 3 hours. Pep boys is slow to death. GEEZ! I was just mentally exhausted after that.)

I put less than 5000 miles a year on my car, so when something goes bad, I get EVERYTHING taken care of at one time! So I was happy for that.

Afterwards, I came home and took a 3 hour nap. Talk about some gooooood sleep! WOW.

I have been sleeping hella good lately. Yay me!

Tonight I have another Women of Color Writing Workshop. Hopefully, I will generate some good material for my blog. I absolutely love the writing prompts, and they stir me up to work on my regular writing material. So I'm excited about that.

My group leader Dawn wants me to make this cake for the meeting.

Uh, no. I have no chocolate, no coffee, no sour cream, no white sugar, no NOTHING for this coffee infused double chocolate cake.

Dawn loves this cake. She's always hollering about how it's better than sex. *crickets*

Oh it is sooooo good. I don't think I've made one in 2 or 3 years. Very simple, and everything is from scratch. But I don't have the ingredients. I may make it next time. We will see. For this meeting, I think I will pick up a quick pizza.

For all I care, we can have bread and water. I'm just looking forward to good writing and good fellowship. That means so much to me. So much to us all.

Quote of the Week: Good one, a facebook status:

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I — not events — have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.— Groucho Marx


That's very good. I need to read that one forward and backwards, and translate it into French and Spanish. I need to put that one in my smile box, i.e., my box of quotes.

Choose to be happy in spite of all things. I needed that. It's up to me to rein in my frustrations and... be happy.

Current Events. The most important current event going on in the ATL right now are issues with a pastor of the sister church to my own megachurch. Folks really want to know my opinion on the matter. It's interesting, because you can throw people into two categories: those who scoff behind the questions, and those who genuinely want to talk about these things, as it is causing them to examine themselves and their thoughts on spirituality. And I was telling a good friend yesterday, that when these things happen, it's a good way to "locate" people. If someone gives me problems over my spiritual choices, then I automatically know that they have thought bad of me all along, and aren't worthy of much thought from me in the first place.

The older I get, the more I'm like this: You either wrecking my steelo and throwing me off course, or you helping me grow stronger in someway. Period. No we don't have to agree on our choices, but let's be supportive and helpful to each other instead of taring each other down. This is what I yearn for in my life, and I hope to be in the lives of others.

This is my thing, as with most sensational things I see on TV. Do I even have a right to stand as judge and jury over anyone other than myself and those I'm responsible for?

No.

But I realize that we in this day and age are groomed to do so. I'm daily training myself not to. Man, I think so much about what leads up to things, and examining my own life in light of it, and praying about any changes I need to make within my ownself, that I really don't have the time or patience to scoff and trip.

Far as I'm concerned, what's going on is between Bishop and his congregation. My own pastor stays in trouble. This is nothing new, as far as I'm concerned. I got a problem with a pastor who can't handle persecution. Big problem.

On my mind this day is my friends who attend New Birth, presently and in the past. They are GREAT people, people who don't worship a man, but are simply looking to grow spiritually. When I think of them, I think of wonderful people, who have grown in their lives under the pastoral care of their Bishop. Those friends have greatly impacted my own life and my spiritual walk, and I am immensely thankful for them. Know that I'm praying for you, and thinking of you. Keep your head held high, and hold on to your faith, and continue to grow. No, I haven't call any of you, because I know you're being inundated with calls, and you know me, I dont' like to bother people. But you got my number and email if you need to talk. I am here and thinking of you.

That's how I truly feel in my heart about it all. My bit of something positive in the sea of negativity.

Song of the Week. One of my favorites, from a most excellent CD by Tonex, and probably one of the most personally honest gospel CDs I've every heard. I love this song, as it speaks to the heart of me, and questions I've asked of myself on occasion, the whole question of why I do the things I do.

That's such a poignant song, and I love the jazz influences and the overall feeling of it. Follow that up with a good praise song, and I'm good!

Today, we make the choice to be happy.

And with that said, I hope you have a great weekend... on purpose.

"A Piece of a Dream"

I lay on the ground,
Flat on my back
Peering up at sky
Watching, watching as the clouds float by
Clouds taking on the shape of many things,
Animals
Plants
Trees
My uncle Larry.

The clouds, they’re shaped funny
Wide, thin, tall, short
I close my eyes,
And I make the same wish as I always do
I dream, I wish to hold just a tiny piece of the cloud,
A small piece, small enough to carry around with me,
Small enought to carry in the pocket of my cut off jeans.

And for the first time, I reach up and I grab a piece
Pinched off a piece of a cloud
It is small and fluffy, just as white as it is when it floats across the sky.
Neither hot nor cool, but soft, and the same temperature as I am,
Because I keep it in the front pocket of my cut off jeans,

And as I got older, I kept it in my bra, close to my heart.
And on my wedding day, it was that “Something old”
And it was there with me when I birthed my children,
I rubbed a piece of this dream against their faces
Knowing that it would bring hope, good luck, and good fortune to their lives,
Just as much as it had done for me all my life.

Uncle Larry, in his old age, leaning on his cane said, "You know, when you were little, and you had your eyes closed, I put that piece of cotton in your fingers. You ran around telling every one that it was a piece of a cloud."

I was disappointed, although I must say that I could understand.
Uncle Larry doing what he could to make me happy
Make my dreams come true.
That was his joy, that was his way.

And now I’m an old woman, lying on my death bed,
Passing it down to my oldest child
The next family matriarch
Wrapping it in her hand
Telling her to hold tight,
Hold tight to this cloud
This tiny piece of a dream
Which has brought me
Which has brought us
Which has brought our family so very far.


From September 10, 2010, Women of Color Writing Workshop. Writing prompt: we were each given a piece of a cotton ball, and asked to write about it for 10 minutes.

Then and Now

Then:


Biggie's first album, Ready to Die, one of the most memorable rap albums I've ever heard.

Now:

Now that's what you call "natural hair"!

LOL

These are pictures of a toddler at the Labor Day Festivities. We immediately thought of the Biggie album cover.

We were talking about this little guy. We wanted to get our fingers in his hair and plait or braid it!

I guess afros will never go out of style!

And I am glad of that!

Porky on the Grill

Going down to the country always means good eating.

And with Cowgirl Cre's people, they will always have ribs on the grill.

But I've never been able to catch any of the ribs on the grill. They are always done before I get there.

This year, I heard they grilled 18 slabs of ribs the day before we got there.

With that said, I saw Uncle Cre and Cousin Cre perusing the grill, as if they were barbequing something else.

I decided to walk over and be nosy.


I saw something I never expected to see.

A whole pig, head and all, on the grill.





For some reason, I thought they'd throw that head away. Apparently not.

Uncle Cre was happy to pose with the beloved pig.

He was constantly over in the grill, trying to push and turn the hog...

Then he got to a point where he was trying to tare it apart.



I was all in the way. I know he had to be like "I wish this girl would go sit down somewhere so we can get this done."

The pig was finally done, and the taring down began.

They put everything on a nearby table, and commence to chopping with axes.

The carving of the head gave me the heebie-geebies. Once they looked like they were about to hit the brain, I got the heck on.

Finished product: a whole mess of chopped pork.

I didn't have any... didn't want any.

Something about seeing a whole animal laid out in a grill, well, that's a little creepy.

And it shocked me to see the whole thing getting chopped up. For some reason, I thought that there would be a ham section, some rib slabs, etc. Nope, they just chopped the whole thing up.

I wish I could've been there when they actually open and gutted the hog. That would have been interesting!

*lee fainting from disgust*

No, I think just seeing the pig on the grill was good enough for me.

Good enough for us all!

Monday is Here... Again.

Monday is HERE again....

Big and bold, standing out as usual.

Sigh!

I need another day off. But that's not going down. Gotta go to work!

But not before I report on my weekend.

I did my usual: chores and errands.

And I also hung out with my Grandma.

I need to visit her more often, as she only lives 10 minutes away. It's just a matter of working into her schedule, because even at 80 years old, the woman stays busy. So I took a chance and called her early Saturday morning (which is usually too late. I have to talk to her a few days prior), and lo and behold, she wasn't busy that day. So I told her I'd come over around two in the afternoon.

So I prepared a huge salad, gathered up some stray bottles of bottled waters and headed to Grandmas...

But not before I went and got something else. Not sure I could show up at her house with just a salad. I stopped by one of the most popular places deep in the hood:



Bankhead Seafood!

You know, I haven't been there in 18 years! But I know Grandma loves fried fish. So I was going to pick up a plate.

That place is a trip. You walk in, there are signs all over- you bet not walk up in there with credit cards or debit cards. Cash only. And you better turn that cell phone off.

It was a dark place, crowded with people. But I went at a good time, when the line was not snaking out the door.

You get a plate of fish for five dollars cash, tax included.



That is A LOT of fish. I didn't even count how much. It was easily 10-15 pieces of pollack. (Never heard of that type of fish)/.

Now you can see why the place is so popular. You get a whole lot of fish, so much that they can't close the container. They don't have a closing time. They close when they run out of fish.

So I headed to Grandma's. She was happy to see me, her "little girl". (This use to unnerve me. Grandma is like, five feet tall. I am seven inches taller. I just go head on and let her call me that).

We watched a college footbal game. (Not sure what was up with that. Didn't know she liked football.) I worked on a crochet project. She read a book. We talked. She has a VERY soft book, and she's a little hard of hearing these days, and it was a battle hearing her over the television.

But she did tell a story of a possum that lives in the backyard. It has a thing for getting in the trash and eating up the bones. She was very detailed about this (I could imagine her leaving out bones just to see the critter).

I was sitting there thinking "Thank goodness we're not going in the back yard."

Then after all this, she says "I want you to come in the backyard and see my hibiscus plants and roses."
*crickets*

Man, I did NOT want to go in that back yard. I haven't been in that backyard since I was 15 years old. It was where my Granddaddy kept his junk, and there was just too much going on, something straight out of the show Hoarders. I would knock stuff over, and I just decided to stay ouf from back there.

Plus the doggone possum was back there.
But how could I say no to Grandma?

So we headed back there close to evening time, when it wasn't so hot.

And I was wary, eyes darting back and forth, forever mindful that there was a possum probably perched in the bushes glaring at us...

The carport leading to the backyard was interesting. My Uncle Tweet has a bunch of lawn gear out on the carport. Not sure what's up with that, and I didn't ask. I assume he is repairing the stuff.
There were plenty of stray kittes running around.


Maybe I should've taken one home to Oscar-Tyrone, so he'd have a friend.

NOT!!

Grandma has some rose bushes that are 20 feet tall. (Didn't know they grow that tall). Here's one of the yellow rose bushes, which is big as a tree.



I remember this tree as a child. This is the pecan tree in the backyard.

My Uncles would climb up in the tree and shake it, and pecans would fall, and there would be SO many pecans. My grandfather would divide them up, and let us get whatever we wanted. It still produces pecans every other year.

Uncle Tweet has a garden. He's doing his fall garden now, and his turnip greens are starting to come in.

That's gonna be some GOOD eating!

Here's where Grandma sits and swings.

There wasn't much to see, as the blooms have died off of many of her flowers. But she was so proud, and told me every single detail of each plant.

I listened to all she said, while looking out for that possum.

(My heart jumped in my chest when a squirrel ran across the fence. UGH)

We went back inside, and I left for home.

One last picture. My Auntie Joyce's old Camaro.

She gave that to my Uncle. My aunt LOVES camaros, and has always bought them. I never cared to ride with her, because she drives REAL fast. Maybe she has slowed down now. I think she's getting older now, and prefers less power.

So that's the highlight of my weekend... hanging with Grandma.

And since she's getting up in age, I need to make sure to see her more often. I always learn something new from her about life and our family history.

And it will help me this week, reflecting on our visit, that is.

It will help me to remember what is truly important.

And that is what truly matters.

I hope you all had a great weekend... on purpose.

Freestyle Fridays

Happy Friday Morning!

I love Fridays! So happy for them. That meeans the WEEKEND is close at hand.

GLORY!!!!!

And to top it off, today is payday!

Hallelu--yer!

Oh well. That money is budgeted out and going different ways.

I've had a pretty good week. Work has been work. Management has clowned me as usual.

All I wanted to get across to management is "I WILL NOT BE TARGETED."

That's all they need to know. Clowning me about what time I come in is PETTY. Especially when it's negroes around there that STEAL time all the time. (It is hilarious to watch this going down. I may need to start turning folk in.)

Solve the real problems, then come get at me. HUMPH. Otherwise, kick rocks!

This mini rant has been brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Oldgirl .

Back to our regular programming.

Putting the stupid stuff aside, it has been a great week.

Summer is pretty much over, and I was doing a little reflecting back over it. I was really having a difficult time of it on the mental tip, just not in a good place. For me, this is okay, as ALL things of life are temporary. And life ebbs and flows. Long as I KNOW these two things, I am fine.

And that's the case. I am back to my normal self now. Thank goodness for that. I don't like being stressed out. Nobody does.

Nothing much going on for the weekend. I have a couple of errands to run, but for the most part, I am sticking around the house. NONE of the shenanigans of last weekend. I am an old chicken. Need to keep my chicken tail in the chicken coop! LOL

I have a bit of fall cleaning I want to get done. That means throwing out stuff. I've been looking at that show Hoarders, and my goodness, it makes me wanna clean out every crook and cranny of my house!

The year is going by super fast. It feels funny. 2011 will be here before you know it. I think I will sit down and make up a few goals for the remainder of the year.

Post of the Week: Actually there are two.

One is from the Infamous La Bella Vita, who I absolutely adore. I just LOVE her writing. She wrote a most suspensful post, entitled Pearl Harbor, which begins:

"I have the most comfortable bed on earth. It is like lying on clouds lined with organic cotton wrapped in the sighs of baby cherubs. If love and kindness was made by Serta, this is what it would feel like."

I was thinking after reading that... Awww... La is sleeping, sleeping soundly. She's going to tell a nice story about her bed. Awwww....

NOT.

This is the most suspensful craziness I've read in a very long time. To the point where it's stayed on my mind for minute. Suspensful, yet hilarious! Great story La. Yes, I'm gonna clown and stalk you relentlessly on twitter about it. LOL!!!

Another post I really loved was written by Tazzee, the nice New Wife. Yes, she and her wonderful husband went camping. I thought that was special, and that I would read a nice camping story. I told her on twitter, hey, if you see some bears take some pictures. She said there would be no bears. Hence, I thought I'd get a sweet camping story. Awww.

Well, there were no bears, but there was some MADNESS going on! Madness, I tell you! she wrote about it. Made me clutch the pearls. Had me hollering "What the world???!!"

She wrote all about it in piece entitled Adventures in the Wild.

Man! Great writing by both blog sistas! Whoo-hoooo! Loved-ed it!

Song of the Week: I love my remixes, and here's a rare one, one of my favorite songs. This here is a smoothed out version of Keith Sweat's "Keep it Coming"



That's grown folks music right there. You younguns under age 33, ya'll can't handle that.

Grown Folks music!

LOL

"I Choose"

Today I choose.

I choose to love you. Just the way you are.

Because you love me. Just the way I am.

I choose to leave the baggage, as old and ugly and heavy as it is. . .

At the front door.

No, on the front lawn.

No, in the middle of the street, where some car,

No, some Mack truck can hit it and crush it

And drag it a few miles down the road

Where I won’t be drawn to it, to the very comfort of it,

Even though the burden of carrying it,

Makes my back ache, my shoulders sag,

Makes my journey slow.

No, I choose to love you. As you are.

With all your flaws, the good, the bad,

The happy, the sad.

I'm all in. I'm fully vested.

For I choose you.


It is you I choose.





From September 10, 2010 Women of Color Workshop. Writing prompt: Write for 10 minutes on the prompt "I choose"

The Best Uncle of All...

I know whenever I go to any of Cowgirl Cre's family functions, I make a beeline for one of her Uncles.

Uncle Willie B.

He's always the sharpest uncle at any function, in a nice silk outfit, like he heading straight out to the finest juke joint when the family festivities are over.

I barely recognize him when he's not dressed or without his jewelry. I know one time, my coworker and neighbor Hen-Dog needed his car fixed, and Cowgirl Cre's daddy and Uncle Willie B. went on over there to have a look at it. I recognized Cre's Dad, waved to him from my front porch. I didn't recognize the man he was with.

Well, I grabbed Oscar-Tyrone and headed down the street to talk to them. The man with Cre's daddy said...

"Betcha don't know who I am."

*lee and oscar peering at strange man closely*

He had on a navy blue work jumpsuit and a baseball cap.

Took me a few minutes, but I finally recognized him.

"You're Uncle Willie B," I whispered.

LOL

Yes, the man is dressed to the nines when I see him.

At one family function, he wore all white.



We happen to be outside, kids playing, dirt everywhere. I asked him how he stay so clean? He said he just makes sure not to get anything on his clothes.

Uh, okay. Let me wear white... It'll be dirty! lol

He makes jewelry, and his fingers are always filled with rocks.



I do love seeing him!

Now, when we arrived at The Labor Day get-together in the country, I looked around. I didn't see Uncle Cre. Someone said he and Cousin Cre had skipped off to a birthday party for a 98 year old resident of the town.

But I saw them when they came back. They got out of the car and headed across the yard...

... And there was Uncle Cre.

Decked out in PINK



I had to stand up... and holler.

UNCLE Wille B!

He walked over to our picnic table.

I gave him a hug, looked him up and down.

Pink. Head to toe, even the shoes!



I told him, "Watch out now, you messing my head up with all this pink."

He smiled.

I asked him later on, "You gotta let me know, how did you come up on this pink outfit? I mean, even your shoes match perfectly."

"Well," he said. "I get an idea in my mind, and I go with it."

"I don't know how you can top this," I said. "You'll have to come with an outfit made out of the American Flag."

His son Chris said "Lawd, don't give him no ideas."

LOL!!!

I don't care what he wear. I know he'll be SHARP as a tack.

I told my sister, don't let him get you off in a convo. He's gonna lecture you on being happy in life, and doing what you need to do. He'll talk your ear off. You'll come away with some type of positive thoughts.

And that's fine with me. Sometime you need someone to lecture you on being "happy"!

So I was glad to see the best Uncle of all... Uncle Willie B.

Can't wait to see him again!

Semi-Wordless Wednesday

My coworker Meek-Meek went on a airboat ride through the Everglades.

She saw an alligator.



Oh joy.

"Did you pet it. Did you feed it, throw some fish to it?" I asked.

She gave me the laser side-eye.

*lee cheesing hard*

Proud of my friend for venturing into the alligator rich Everglades.

I think I'll pass on that.

Quotable Quotes: "Try...Again"

I have another great Quote from one of the Original Oldgirls, the Infamous LoveBabz. I really need to email her and let her know that I'm using her quotes. I've asked her in the past, pleaded with her, really. She doesn't seem to mind, lol.

Anyway, here's another nice quote, with the parts that resonate with me highlighted in red:

"I am not a quitter. Oh, I do know how to walk the hell away from people, places and things that do not uplift my spirit or bring joy to my life. However, I am not a quitter. If I know I didn't give something my all, then I regroup, recharge and come at it again. Sometimes it takes a gazillion tries to get to a real sense of accomplishment. I am cool with that. My strength lies in my tenacity. I am not afraid of much in this world.

My fears are a different story. They, (my fears) as I said many times on this blog are seductive. They woo me like a desperate lover. It takes a great deal of courage to shush the voices of negative thinking and talk out of one's environment. I am courageous. I am fearless on so many levels. I like my inner grace. I am resolute in my vision for my life. I am not afraid to try, try, try, try, try again...

...I feel like I am climbing Mount Everest again with success as my goal. It doesn't matter that I've been here before at base camp. I learned a few things from the last time I attempted this climb. You see that's the gift! Not that I am back at base camp, but that I am back trying again with more tools and more support and more confidence than ever before.

I am not a quitter. I will always try, try, try, try. try again."




I'm not sure when my girl Babz posted that, but it's been on my mind every since.

Because I tend to have this attitude of "Oh Lawd, I been trying to do this, and I keep failing and failing."

But each time I fail, I know now that I come back to the starting gate with a little something extra in my tool box. I'm actually better equipped to handle the problem IF I don't let my fears talk me out of it...

Never thought of it that way...

Fears talk louder than my faith sometimes. As Babz said above... uh yeah, they can be like a desperate lover... Have you hemmed up. And you know how a lover knows how to get you to do whatever he or she needs you to do.

What great analogies. VERY understandable indeed.

But I need to squeeze fear out. Yeah, i've been doing that, and I've made huge strides.

But now I have another weapon... I can bring back to the table what I learned from the previous failure. Just one more little piece of information...

That just may help this time be the time that I don't fail, but I win.

You know the age old cliche: If I don't suceed at first, try, try again... and again... and again...

(As said above: "My strength lies in my tenacity.")

Try, try again. Until I win.

Just a little food for thought for my good Tuesday evening.

"The Pill"

A very nice piece by my workshop moderator, Dawn. Enjoy...

The Pill

by Dawn E. Moore

It seemed like a good idea
The pill.
Everyone said I needed it,
The pill.
It would help me keep from going backwards, back there
But no one said the pill was a curse , a nightmare.
I went from being dependent on him
To being dependent on it.
At least with him there was laughter,
Hand holding
Spooning.
Now there is a
Schedule
Cold water
Chalky taste
And fear.
What happens without the pill?
Will I move multi directional experiencing life?
Will I laugh and cry,
Dance and sing while plotting your murder?
Chronic, terminal, hospice.
Give me acute, fast, sudden.
Give me colorful dreams
In a realistic world with passion
Pause
And a breeze that lifts my skirt
Displaying my bare ass as it tickles my ears
Trying desperately to blow my hair.
But please don’t give me the pill.
It makes me flat
A monotone life.
I know I have memories of vibrant times.
Of ups and downs
I see them when I close my eyes
I dream in 3D
Where I can touch those around me.

From September 8, 2010 Women of Color Writing Workshop. Writing Prompt: We were each given a pill (each of us had a different type, differing in shape and color), and wrote about it for 10 minutes.

Monday, Monday, Monday

Good Monday Morning!

And I must say... I don't care for Mondays, but I tell ya, I'm happy to see this Monday morning. I'm looking forward to getting back to the daily monotonous routine.

That don't even sound right, do it?

But it is...

Anyway, on to my weekend.

Friday night. I had a FABULOUS Women of Color Writing Workshop. The ladies and I generated some very nice material, and I'll be posting some of mine up on blog.

You know, even if I don't produce a single word, or have a bad night, it always helps to get together with the ladies. Our moods are unsteady for whatever reason, but it helps to get together to write and talk. I know it helps our well being, and I am all for that.

So I had a great time Shakeia, Dawn, Erica, and Ray-Ray! Looking forward to seeing you and writing again in a couple of weeks.

Saturday. It was a good day, uneventful in it's own right. I got up, did my usual chores, crocheting, reading, walking....

Then I went out really late Saturday night for a movie and bowling and... and stayed out all night. That could be a good or bad thing. Haven't really decided. All I know is that I'm not a spring chicken, and can barely hang, lol...

No details discussed here. Let's just say you had to be over on twitter to be in on the convo.

You know I'm in a tad bit of trouble when my blog bruh The Brown Blogger tweets the next morning: "The doors of the church are open".

I forgot that dude was around over there. And he's so funny, that that might have not even been for me, lol.

And you know it's a strange thing when my baby blog sister Serenity23 has to scold and chastise me. I know she's going to be full of questions today on our private email string. Or she may just leave me alone, lol.

She jocks me terribly, and wants to be like me. I have to be a better example for her.

(She is reading that thinking "What the hell?")

Lesson of the week: Don't set fires that you may not be able to extinguish.

Geez. I have WAY too much to think about that I absolutely don't care to think about but I'm forced to think about.

Moving. Right. Along.

Sunday. Sunday was interesting. I drank some coffee around midnight. Coffee is not my friend. It'll keep me up for a good couple of days, man. I didn't go to sleep when I got in, and my appetite was shot. I happen to have a quart of carrot juice in the fridge, and that was what I drank all day, that and water.

But it was a FULL day of football. Oh my! I am SO glad football season is in! WOW!

I have a fantasy football team, and we lost. Sigh. But that's okay. I enjoyed the games.

That's all I have to say for today.

Blog fam hollers "That was short, LadyLee!"

Yes it was. That's because you got anywhere from 10 to 15 posts coming up this week.

Your friendly neighborhood Oldgirl is feeling a bit prolific.

I got a lot of stuff in my drafts, gotta clear some of that out, amongst other interesting things I want to post.

With that said... I feel pretty good today. Got a doc appointment this morning, so I'll be heading into work late.

I'ma choose to be happy this week. My choice. Anyone attempting to wreck my steelo will get verbally drop kicked.

Yeah.

LOL

Ya'll have a great week. On purpose.

Sunday Sermon: You... and Your Friends

One day a few weeks ago, some of the ladies in the cubicle got the notion to play Youtube gospel music.

Morale is in the toilet, and it may be uplifting. Plus, it was somehow concluded that it kept management out of the cubicle area (You can draw all KINDS of conclusion for that).

I wasn't involved. I placed my headphones on my head, and listened to my EWF.

They'd decided later on that they would pull up some preachers. But no one didn't.

Except my cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre.

"Lee," she said, as she pushed play on a video on her facebook page. "Take a look at this. This is something we talked about awhile ago."

I scooted my chair over towards hers and watched the following 8 minute TD Jakes video.

Subject matter: the three types of friends in your life.



You know, I was looking at this and said to Cre, "I have to take some notes, because this is interesting."

But, I wasn't writing fast enough.

During this, I was whispering to Cre "What about them Ninjas! Them suckas you gotta watch, the ones who walk in and mess up your life, dropping carnage?"

She and I laughed. He ain't talking about enemies and frenemies. He's talking about people who come along to help you along your path.

Hmmm... Me and Cre had a talk about this long time ago. But my categorization of my friends was a little more complex.

I look at it in the light of us being temples. Only certain people are allowed in the very inner parts of the temples. Some folks are out in the temple congregation. Some folk are out on the temple steps.

And then there are those folks outside the temple gates. Waaaaay outside the gates.

We laughed about that. But you can't get folk mixed up and miscategorized, man.

But what was said in the video concerning Confidants, Constituents, and Comrads...

Wow. Very interesting take on things.

And the thing said in the beginning about character. Everything comes down to character.

People always tell me "Lee, you're a great judge of character. You always see something before everybody else."

No, I'm not being haughty. I don't deal to well longterm with characters that are a bit shady. I know that's one of my weakness. I don't tolerate much and I don't deal well with you ruffling my feathers.

On a deeper level, I don't feel the best about my character, and it helps me take a closer look at my own character and straighten things out. (That may be hard to understand, as I am the most wonderful Oldgirl in the world, but it's my way of working my own issues out.)

Those categories he spoke on were interesting, and I have my own thoughts on them.

Confidants. Those people in my life who love me unconditionally. People who feed and mentor me. They are with me, down for me no matter what. They ALWAYS have my back.

Only a few people should know what's going on within the deep depths of "inner-me". Because everybody can't handle it.

I am far from perfect, and don't like apologizing for being imperfect. There are very few people who understand the total arc of LadyLee and don't hold it against me.

Do you know there are people who try to make me feel guilty and take it personally when I have a bad day, or a bad spell? Those people... I suppose they thought they were special, or confidants or something.

NOT!

I'm bad about not talking to them anymore. I'm not going to be made to feel guilty because I'm hurting. Shows you don't know me.

Confidants. They are important. I need you when I'm in a bad way, need advice, need to rant, neet my tail kicked. I NEED YOU. I'm glad my confidants know that, and know how to work with me.


Constituents. People who are not really into you, but into your particular goals, missions, causes, and interests. Yeah! This is all over the place, especially in the blog community. We all online, and congregate based on interests, etc. I see it more than the other two types, all over the Bible. We tend to group ourselves in life in general.

Nothing wrong with that, as it is wholly important. Nothing negative there. I myself am down for a lot of different people, but at the same time, I don't think we share our whole selves with all of our constituents. Because it's not really important. We're helping each other reach that goal...

Comrads. People who aren't into you, aren't into your life's plans and purposes, but are against what you are against.

Me and Cowgirl Cre laughed about that. There's some comrad action going on at work, mayne! LOL

I think of the tea party stuff here. That's an easy one. And coming out against various diseases, etc, like the special breast cancer walks, etc. We all against the same thing, man! Let's work together to come against it mo' harder!

What I don't care for when it comes to comrads and constituents is the seasonal nature of each. They are there for seasons of my life, not for a lifetime.

And me, I tend to get attached to folks. I think it's just our nature as women to be that way.

As was said in the video clip, the scaffolding comes down, those people are gone, but the house is still there. I think that's a good thing. Although like I said, I get attached. The older I get, the more I understand the seasonal nature of some of my relationships.

The negative slant surpised me, yet it is something that I think about. He touched on something that I fully understand and am very mindful of.

Do not share your uncommon dreams with common folk.

I've been trying to get this through my sister's head. I told S23 this once, and she posted it up on her blog. (She does that sometime... makes me want to holler "Chick! That was a private convo between us! lol. But I think she thinks it will help some of her clientele, and that's cool).

But a HUGE clue to who is down for you and who is not is their reaction when you share with them a dream that you have.

THAT IS SO HUGE.

Do they turn their nose up? Or do they get critical?

I automatically put these folk on my outer-temple-gates list. Always criticizing. Messy. Taring me down.

Stuff don't even go that far with me. Because I look at something a little more telling.

How do you react to your friend's dreams, and to what level do your support your friends? Do you tare down your friends, cause a lot of mental carnage?

(Can you tell by now that I can't stand mental carnage??)

I look at that. I base a lot on that. I may be wrong for it. But I can't take you serious if you treat your peeps like crap. I'm certain you will treat me the same way.

It gives me insight into your motives and agendas. (You know how I feel about motives). It even causes me to examine how I treat my own friends, and make the proper adjusments. Really.

I wanna be the best me that I can be, and be the best help I can be to someone, whether in the role of confidant, comrad, or constituent.

This was a good clip. Glad I had a chance to see it, as it made me think, and confirmed a few things for me.

You all have a fine, fine Sunday.

On Purpose.

9/11... I Remember. And I Show Respect.

Today, I remember the day that changed the life for so many.

September 11, 2001.

I think about this day, which had to be like any other day.

Americans getting up for work. Or getting up and catching a flight out of town. Thinking about what they'll have for lunch or dinner that day. Looking forward to seeing family later.

And the day didn't end the way anyone planned.

And life as we know it, was forever changed.

I remember those people today. I'll simply have a moment of silence, may even say a prayer and have personal communion here at home.

Today I am a bit disturbed by the level of religious turmoil. Not sure if that's the correct term for it.

Let's just say, on rare occasions I leave out of here early to go to work sometimes, around 5 in the morning. I let up my garage door and I hear the sounds of crickets, the wind blowing through the trees, the horn of the morning freight train, or the sound of traffic on the nearby freeway.

But more often than not, I hear someone saying their morning prayers to Allah.

I don't sneer. I don't jeer.

I am quiet.

I listen respectfully, if only for a moment.

I get in my car and leave for the day.

So, I'm scratching my head at the Pastor down in Florida who wants to burn a Qu'ran.

So, he says he's going to protest the radical faction by doing something radical.

Him of all people, an undershepherd, given charge to guide the guide and grow the souls and spirits of his congregration... I would think he would show a little respect.

I mean, I don't know if he'd like anyone burning the Bible. Why would he want to burn a Qu'ran?
He said God told him to do it.

Sir, does it bring peace and progress? No. It's causing chaos. I shouldn't have to tell him, he heard something from something else. Maybe it was that heavy gassy dinner he had the night before. Who knows.

I just think that's horrible, and it's what's on my mind today, as I watch the Anti american protests going on overseas. It's on my mind as I hear reports of arson of Mosques across the country.

It ought not be so.

Whether you're Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, Scientologist, Mormon, Agnostic, Athiest, etc...

I have NO right to hate on you on the basis of your beliefs being different from my own. Something is WRONG with you if you choose to commit violence against someone based on their religious beliefs.

NONE.

You are on your path in life. You didn't wake up believing what you believe just as of this morning. It comes over a lifetime of living, of drawing your own conclusions, of doing what's best for you.

I submit that people who get into religious arguments and uproar don't really believe what they say they believe and are looking for validation.

If you truly believed what you say you believe, there would be no need to berate another for their beliefs.

There would be no need to burn anyone's personal text... their personal owner's manual for how they learn to direct their lives and livelihood.

It's hard enough to stay within your own lane in life, to walk your own path, to learn and grow... and at the same time trying to control other's life walk and growth.

Hard.

I won't do that. I will show some respect.

Especially on this day, when life changed for so many.

It's the least... the very least I could do.

Friday Freeeeeeestyles

Good Merning!

It's Friday!!

GLORY!!!

This has been a slooooooow week. Just slow. It has been a 3 day workweek. We have to turn in silly reports at the end of the week of what we accomplished this week at work. Mine will be, like, 2 words. Which will probably get a side-eye coming my way.

I don't CARE. TOO much has gone on this summer at work. Management can go sit on a tack!!

I'll take ethics for 200 dollars, Alex.

lol

Thank you Lord, for my good gub'ment job. That is all.

Not sure what's going on with me this weekend. I know I have a writing workshop tonight. That last one, well, I was a little disengaged. Maybe I'll be better tonight.

9/11 is tomorrow. Waaaay to much religious turmoil going on right now, with the mosque up in NY, and with the good Pastor down in Florida. It is really bothering me. I'll write my thoughts tomorrow.

Quote of the Week: One from one of my big blog sistas, LoveBabz... The parts of the quote that resonate deeply with me are highlighted in green...

"With all the mess going on in the world, around my city and in my life. I love my life. I love the choices I am making to move forward. I cannot be told what to do except by God. I am not listening to noise. I have long since given up seeking other's approval. Turning 40 (I am 47) is the great beginning of "Get The Fuck Out Of Here" era. I just can't bear witness to other's people projections about how they think I ought to be.

I was listening to Joel Osteen talking about run your own race. Stay in your lane and do you. It was so on point. You are wasting time competing with other people...that takes you off your path and into someone else's race. Run your own race. Then I heard T.D.Jakes talking about letting negative people go. You can't succeed when you are surrounded by folks whispering you can't do this that or the other thing. They are perhaps well meaning. But you have to know when folks are speaking from their place of fear."

I tell you... that's a long quote, but it's chocked full of good good stuff.

I tell you, man. I have changed DRASTICALLY since turning 40. Folk thought I was a bit jarring when dealing with people who wreck my steelo. But doggonit, my tolerance for BS is nonexistant these days. I just don't tolerate it.

But if I gotta watch you, watch what I say around you, watch my stuff... you not uplifting me, I'm not uplifting you, you bringing chaos and there's figurative carnage everytime you step into the room...

You criticizing me, you looking down your nose at me, you messy as hell, you judgmental...

You're NOT helping me find peace and make progress in my life!

You just a straight up TRIP!

If any of the above apply: You're eliminated from my life. Period.

I don't care what you think of me. As a matter of fact, the quality of my life went up a notch when I stopped dealing with you!

LOL. I wonder if that's what my girl Babz meant about the "Get the fcuk out of here" Era starting when you turn 40.

If so... I am THERE. I am so THERE.

If that is what it is, then oh my! What an era it is.

Wooosah!

I tell you: there is nothing worse than being in bondage to people. Nothing. I can't stand it, and I won't tolerate it one bit in my life. Nope.

And with that said, I will NOT hold people in bondage. NO! If I'm not an assest to your life, RUN in the other direction as fast as you can!

Song of the Week. I love remixes, especially when a pop song is smoothed down into a more R&B vibe. Here's one of my favorites: "Why Must We Wait" by Tina Turner.




I LOVE that song. Especially those opening lyrics:

You wanna take a little time
You wanna drank me like a fine wine
Write the book of love, line by line...

BOY! Those are some rich lyrics there, babes!

I'm working on a particularly difficult chapter of my manuscript right now, and that song captures the feelings of my female protagonist perfectly. I can't put that song in the story, as I try to keep anything that has to do directly with my own heart out of my stories these days. And I find it difficult to write on love matters.

But that song... if I can capture the feeling of that song. Wow. That'll be hot right there.

I have a couple of people reading, easing up to me whispering... "You got that chapter 29 yet?"

NO NINJA!

lol. But working on it. Very difficult, just trying to get it right... on purpose. Should have it together by Monday!

Alright, that has been my freestyles... a little touch of what's on my mind at the moment...

You all have a FANTASTIC weekend!

Just Say NO!

My dearest Southern Black Gal...

I know you love yourself some TI. You ride his jock like no other.

But that man and his wife got arrested last week for weed in the car. And they had some "pills".

No one knew if the pills were X or meth.

*raising an eyebrow at the mention of meth*

You need to tell your boy TI to just say NO!

And if that don't work, then he needs to be made to watch those CRAZY meth PSA commercials.
They scared the cheese outta me. Here are a few.







I've never seen this one before. A bit grainy, but, uh, the point gets across!



Yikes!!!!

No LadyLee will not be doing meth. Heck man, got me giving my prescription meds and tylenol the side-eye.

I'm glad TI didn't have meth when he was arrested. Bad enough he had weed and X. You might be a superstar, but the peoples gonna lock you up if you don't fly straight.

And I always thought this was a problem off in the trailer parks, if you know what I mean. But I know it's not. You just don't hear of certain people having meth problems!

Just say NO, TI. Just say no to it ALL!!

I know I will.