Day Thirty - One Last Moment

This is the final Day of the Blog Challenge. Of course I should've posted this last night, but I fell asleep! Plus I spent a little time this morning condensing it. It was a bit rambly.

This challenge... it was difficult. My goodness, this wasn't, like, "post for 30 days straight".

This was a "post on a specific topic for 30 days straight" type of thang, which is HARD!

There's a new 30 day challenge going on. I'm sitting that one out, ya'll. Can't do it.

But on to today's post...

One Last Moment

Every once in a while, in addition to my usual church communion, I like to have simple communion at home. Just between me and God.

My reason for doing this is that I heard a very interesting sermon many years ago, with the minister saying something like:

"Sometimes, you just get by yourself and settle some things between yourself and God, and commemorate the moment. Don't take much- a piece of bread, some koolaid and a heart open to God."

The more I thought about this, the more sense it made. We all look great on the outside. Go to church dressed perfectly, perfect smiles, perfect make-up. (And for the fellows, your Brooks Brother suit fits just right. And those Stacy Adams wingtips have a fresh shine.)

But at the same time, we have things going on behind closed doors. We all have things going on within ourselves. Things we won't tell a sole. Self esteem issues, self-worth issues, depression, self-hate, addictions, personal confusions, bad habits, fears...

...areas of life that we are struggling so hard in. Sigh.

We're works in progress, ALWAYS under construction until the day we breathe our very last breaths. There are constant ebbs and flows, high peaks and low valleys all throughout our lives.

And there are so few people in our lives who we can admit things to, and they love us no matter what. And if you have a handful of these confidants in a lifetime, you're richer than the richest man in the world.

You can run, but you can't hide from yourself. You know what goes on with you. And God knows what's going on with you.

Might as well get it out in the open between you and God, over a small meal between you and Him.

Saying a prayer, over communion settles things in my heart.

To me, it's a sign of respect and of my faith to do such.

Thus making it one of my favorite personal moments. A moment between me and God.

This year I turned 40. I believe, a week or two before I turned 40, my life flashed before my eyes.

Well, let me rephrase that: the last 10 years of my life flashed before my eyes.

It's not a glamorous life. Probably not a life that people covet, nothing like that of the rich and famous. But it's mine. I have my lane in life, uniquely assigneed to me, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

And I thought about allllll the answered prayer. All the triumphs, tribulations, stepping stones, bad days, good days, failures, successes, disappointment, joys...

Man, A LOT had gone on in the past 10 years.

I was really overwhelmed by it all... and I, like many, tend to have the little questions in the back of my mind of why a couple of major prayers weren't answered. To the point where I dare say, I've caught an attitude. Never mind that my motives may have been bad. Or that I want the answer that I want right now.

Never mind that the desired answer given at the wrong time in my life could be DISASTROUS.

I felt an overwhelming sense of thanks in the midst of it all.

God is on the hustle tip in the background of my life, even taking care of things I don't even know about. He sees around the corners of my life and arranges things accordingly. Even in the midst of me acting a JACK, He's focused on the end from the beginning.

So I will always remember, turning 40... and the first meal was there on my kitchen island, between me and God, giving thanks for his blessings, and remembering all that has gone on, and all He has done for me...

And thanking Him in advance for all that the future holds.

A simple moment, one taking place over wheat bread and a shot glass of cranberry juice.

But a wonderful, most memorable moment indeed.

One moment that I will never forget.